Reading Reviews From Member: MargaretLane
  
677 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MargaretLaneManor of Secrets: The Study

31st July 2014:
I think you've really captured the speech pattern of a 1920s British police officer. The Chief Inspector really sounds like a police officer out of Agatha Christie.

Hmm, this is intriguing. I think there's a lot more going on here than the whole situation between Orla and the murder victim.

That comment about "poor Esther" is intriguing. I wonder why it is Esther who concerns her. I guess the siblings are close.

I'm now getting somewhat suspicious of Esther. Least likely person and all that.

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you- I was worried he sounded a bit too modern, but wow.

Oh, there is definitely is a lot more going on :3

You'll get to meet Esther in the next chapter and you'll get to see what that's all about.

Oooh, my first guess! How exciting :D

x Ely


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Review #2, by MargaretLaneManor of Secrets: The Library

31st July 2014:
*laughs* It was the DATE that initially attracted me to this story. 1922 being the year my country received its independence, sort of anyway. And then I say a murder mystery. *grins* Another Agatha Christie fan here. So I have to read this.

And on the day this story takes place, Civil War is brewing just across the Irish sea. That is literally the week it really begins.

There is a real Agatha Christie flavour to this story already, what with the wealthy young men playing sports in the grounds of the manor. And of course the mention of the library.

Really interested to see where you are going with this.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you did!

That really means a lot to me- the Agatha Christie thing, I tried really hard to make it seem Agatha-y, so thank you.

x Ely


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Review #3, by MargaretLaneStripped by Tears of Grief: The Toll of Time & Torment

30th July 2014:
The character of Rowena Ravenclaw is one who rather appeals to me. Looking forward to seeing how you characterise her and her life.

Once again, I LOVE the way you use nature related imagery. "The skeletal trees" create an ominous image straight off.

I also like the way you build on what we know about Rowena - that she had a daughter - and what we don't - who the father was.

And now I'm intrigued as to what war he was fighting in. The Saxons against the Normans perhaps. 1066 seems close enough to Founders era.

I wonder if her idea is that they should start Hogwarts.

And now, reading of the dream, I suspect it was.

And I like the way her husband appears to her in a dream, to encourage her to move on. Of course, if he loved her, he would want her to do so.

I agree that Rowena, who appears fairly upper class, would speak quite properly, considering the era she existed in. Although we might be before the feudal era, so it might not be quite as formal a society as what came a little later, but I still think that even writing in translation from Scots Gaelic or whatever the equivalent of this time was or Anglo-Saxon, it sounds better to have them speak a little more properly than people would today.

Really good story and you could definitely write more about the couple.

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Review #4, by MargaretLaneTask One Challenge: A Beast of a Task: A Beast of a Task

30th July 2014:
I thought I'd read chapters from more than one story, so I'm checking this one out now.

*laughs at Luna telling him the holiday would be the perfect place to unwind and then THIS happening* Poor Neville.

And I like the connection you imply between Luna's research and Neville's work as a Herbology Professor. I never thought of it before, but it makes sense their specialisations would bring them into contact with one another.

Aw poor Neville. Even when he does something amazing, like defeating Nagini, he still seems to think he's not good enough. Those thoughts are perfectly in character for him.

And I LOVE the line "accio courage".

And yeah, I REALLY don't think he's going to want Luna's help choosing a vacation spot after this. At least they got through it though.

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Review #5, by MargaretLaneRainfall: Three

28th July 2014:
Yay, we get to see his school.

And I'm intrigued by the mentions of playrooms and common rooms. Are those things common in British primary schools or is it just because he's attending a special school? We had lunch and break either in the yard or in our classrooms or when we were 8 or younger, in the hall/gym.

I can't remember if we learnt about the Romans in primary school or not. I don't think so. I think we focused on Ireland when studying that era.

That part about calling the teacher by the Latin for teacher reminds me of when we started learning French in 4th class (so at 9/10 years old) and had to refer to our French teach as Madame Murphy. And of course, from Junior Infants, a lot of classroom instructions were given in Irish.

*laughs* It's SO like Ron to make an excuse. Somehow I can't imagine him being a fan of classical music.

*laughs at him commenting that he can't see anyway* It's a funny answer, even if it is rather sad too.

The harp is like our national symbol. It's on all Government correspondence and on our coins and all. So the final line of the chapter seems so weird to me; that he doesn't know what a harp looks like. Hermione should find an Irish euro coin, so he can feel the shape of a harp. *nods*

Sorry if this review isn't greatly detailed, but I don't know much about music, so haven't much to say.

Author's Response: Hello!

No, the playroom/common room thing isn't normal for British primary schools. I don't know much about special schools (although I've tried to research) but I figured it made sense, for the sake of looking after them (many have other accompanying disorders) and also as they have very small classes. Private schools do have common rooms for all groups, I think, and that's where the idea came from, but yes it's because it's a special school.

As we were occupied by the Romans, we do study it here!

A harp is something you're likely to see pictures of even if it's not your national symbol, but of course pictures aren't any use to him. No-one's ever had a reason to describe one to him, so of course he doesn't know what they look like! It's just not something that's ever been relevant before.

Plenty of detail! You can't write a review the length of the chapter for every single chapter... ;) Thanks again!


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Review #6, by MargaretLaneDeath on the First: Chapter One

28th July 2014:
OK, this is probably the most original beginning to a story I ever read. I thought the first part was an A/N actually, with the whole "welcome" part, but it quickly became clear it was a character speaking when they spoke of "us" and then they announced they were the murderer. Hmm. Intriguing.

I like the fact you've chosen comparatively minor characters to make up the cast of this. It leaves us more in the dark as to who the murderer might be, because, while we feel we've a handle on what Ron, Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, etc would be likely to do, people like the Patils and Michael Corner are less easy to predict.

Yikes, that comment about how now the others aren't going to be able to get away implies this person implies to do quite a bit of killing. And they are so casual about it.

One thing I always find bizarre in detective stories is that whenever anybody seems nervous, everybody's like "what are they hiding?" and it always turns out they are hiding something. Like finding out you're in a house with a murderer isn't ENOUGH to make people nervous, not to mention being questioned by the police.

So it's not Pansy, as the narrator is speaking about her as another person. That narrows my suspect list down to seven, unless of course, that's some kind of bluff.

Michael and Theo are also mentioned, but I'm not so sure those mentions aren't bluffs, whereas the narrator really doesn't seem to know whether or not Pansy killed her husband. Although the reference to not blaming Theo makes it seem like it's not him either. Hmm. I kind of wonder if there's some bluff though, because I doubt you'd let us narrow it down that easily. The narrator DOES say Theo is first and that they are in the middle though, so unless they are unreliable...

I'm wondering why the narrator thinks Harry wouldn't interview the son of a Death Eater first.

Hmm, the indication that they are prepared for this implies the crime was premeditated.

This person's knowledge of the Muggle world and their apparent familiarity with Muggle detective stories makes me wonder if they might be a Muggleborn or half-blood. I can't see Theodore Nott or Pansy Parkinson wondering why the wizarding world hadn't caught up with the Muggle one.

The fact that the person seems to be hinting at a man makes me wonder if they might be a woman, although of course, the police are hardly going to believe the person they "overheard" is themself anyway, so not necessarily.

And I LOVE the whole invisible cord thing.

Really interesting first chapter. I'm intrigued. I want to know who the villain is.

Padma is one person who could well have a motive, though you'd sort of expect the Aurors to react if it was Parvati's sister who mentioned overhearing somebody speaking about Parvati's sister.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you SO much for that massive compliment! The idea for writing a murder mystery from the murderer's perspective popped into my head a few weeks ago and I couldn't resist writing it once I'd worked the details out. I'm so glad that you thought it was original!

Part of the reason for choosing more minor characters is that I'm more comfortable writing them than I would be with others, but also because it's harder for people to predict what they might do, so I'm pleased that you liked that choice! The killer's definitely quite casual about the situation at the moment, but things might change in the future. Haha yes, that's always struck me and there might be some secrets coming out in this story as well...

I don't want to say much more in this response other than that you're very good at picking up on all the clues that I've left in this chapter! Your reasoning makes a lot of sense and I think that some of your guesses are very interesting... I can't say more because I don't want to give the killer away yet!

I always think that Harry would be reluctant to tar anyone associated with Death Eaters with the same brush and instantly suspect them, since he did so much to try and end the prejudice there, but I'm not sure. I'm glad you liked the invisible cord idea! It was interesting to come up with some unusual and magical murder weapons and I liked that idea when I hit on it.

Thank you so much for this amazing review, I really am so glad that you enjoyed this chapter!


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Review #7, by MargaretLaneObsidian Sky: Two Equal Halves

27th July 2014:
O.K., even if I didn't owe you some reviews, I'd intended to read some of the other Drowning in Darkness entries anyway (and since I'm finally adding a second chapter to mine, today is an appropriate day to read this). Sorry for the delay with these reviews, by the way. July is a crazy busy month for me.

You really create a sense of atmosphere in the first couple of paragraphs. I love your use of sensory imagery, really encompassing everything she feels.

And I like the use of "fiendfyre" in that simile and also the one of the werewolf stalking its prey. You use language really well.

I think capitalising the "h" in "he" is quite effective here, as it almost deifies Voldemort and I think he does almost fill that role in her life. And her fear that he'd reject her touch really gives her devotion to him a quasi-religious flavour. I don't know whether you intended that or not, but I think it does fit with their relationship.

I like the way she is more angry about a woman taking her place than she is at those who are dueling against him. It shows the possessive and selfish nature to her love.

That part about how all the cruelties she suffered at his hands seem worth it almost make me feel some sympathy for her. She seems so totally in thrall to him.

And I like the way you connect the lack of love she received from her parents with her willingness to do anything that might gain his love.

Author's Response: Hi again!!

No worries, I've been insanely busy this month as well, especially with the HC, so I totally understand.

Thanks for the lovely compliments on my writing style. I definitely get a bit "wordy" sometimes, but with stories like this it works well, because it really pulls you into the scene, and I'm glad it worked out well.

I did actually intend it to feel almost religious, and it's something only one other person pointed out to me about this story. It's always sort of how I viewed their relationship, and wanted to show her selfish devotion to him. I tossed the idea of capitalizing the "h" in every sentence, thinking it might be overkill, but this piece is super dramatic, and I'm glad the gamble I took there came out well.

I've always found her such a complex character, and I don't tend to believe most people are inherently born good or bad, but generally influenced by their circumstances and situations, and ultimately, how they choose to handle them. Thanks for complimenting that, as I do imagine her parents behavior toward her probably influenced some of her decisions earlier in life, and things just sort of spiraled from there.

Thanks for another awesome review, I'm always excited to see a new one from you!

-- Fae


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Review #8, by MargaretLaneBetter Days Than These: Pure blood is pure blood, except when it's not and then it's... not.

27th July 2014:
Love the comment about Hagrid's low blood sugar.

And hmm, I assumed Squiggle was murdered by the Carrows or on their orders, in which case the Ministry would probably be totally behind it. Looks like it may be a little more complicated.

*laughs* He knows where the kitchens are in two buildings in Italy, so he assumes they are to be found there in all buildings. Not exactly a promising start.

So do the Parkinson sisters have the same father? If so, did he have an affair with Pansy's stepmother while married to Peony's, as it appears they are the same age? I know this isn't all to be taken too seriously, but I'm wondering about that.

I really like the way you include the background to that comment Neville made about how he got one of this injuries. And it does sound like something the Carrows would do - making everybody spy into other people's family history to try and find any skeletons in anybody's closet. I would imagine people like Neville would falsify anything they found that could harm their classmates though.

And gosh, you really have portrayed Peony's naivety, when she assumes Alecto Carrow will answer that question seriously or even that Neville genuinely meant it as a question and not as a critique of the Carrows.

*laughs at the way she "begins to feel uncomfortable" when her classmates are tortured* Especially since what seems to be concerning her most isn't the disproportionate reaction but rather the fact that Neville didn't break a written rule.

Hmm, I'm wondering what that sudden glance of Roderick means. Seems like there's more than one mystery here.

I'm starting to see a sort of pattern in your stories of mysterious happenings and very original ideas. You add a lot of details that don't exist in the books. And you DEFINITELY keep us in suspense, even when what you are writing is really a parody.

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Review #9, by MargaretLaneBetter Days Than These: I'm perfect and I know it... but I'm not snobbish at all, because that would be wrong and not at all perfect.

27th July 2014:
OK, the summary for this story has intrigued me, so I'll begin with this chapter. Sorry for the delay by the way. July is a crazy busy month for me.

Love the name. It reminds me of that Animaniacs sketch where the "Warner sister" lists her names.

I think it is really interesting that you chose to set this in the year the Carrows were in charge. And I really like the way she seems completely oblivious to how dangerous they are, particularly with how he contrasts with the House Elf's fear. I'm now wondering if she will learn differently or if her perfect Mary Sueness will protect her from their threat.

*laughs at the "flaw" Pansy reveals about her half-sister*

And Azkaban care packages! That IS rather amusing.

Yi-i-ikes, I didn't expect that ending. Things have taken a turn for the rather more serious. I wonder how this will affect Peony.

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Review #10, by MargaretLaneFriends & Equals: When the Time is Right

27th July 2014:
Wow, this is a really interesting topic to write about. I can't wait to see how you portray events.

Like the way you portray Death's speech patterns. There is something both ominous and disinterested in it, which seems to fit.

I also like the way you begin the part about Ignotus. You write description well.

You also portray the respect between Death and Ignotus well and show Death as a far less frightening figure than he is often shown to be. I like the relationship you create between them.

The only thing I would question is how Ignotus's son seems so young when his father died. The impression I got was that Ignotus was a very old man when he died, so I would have expected his son to have been grown, though I suppose there is nothing to say he didn't have children late in life.

I like the fact you maintain something of a mystery as to how Ignotus gets to see his son's death and exactly why things happen as they do. Dying does have a mysterious element and I think it's good Ignotus doesn't get to find out all the secrets.

Really good story on an aspect of the wizarding world I haven't seen explored before. Personally, my headcanon is that Ignotus and his brothers just made a really powerful wand, a really long-lasting Invisibility Cloak and a Stone which could bring back some kind of a shadow of the dead, in the same way portraits can kind of capture their essence and the rest was fairytale, but if the story were actually true, which for all we know, it might be, I could totally see it happening like this.

Author's Response: Hi again!!

Thanks for stopping by and leaving another amazing review!! I really almost didn't write this story, but I've received such amazing feedback that I'm so glad I did. It was such a challenge to write, and I'm so relieved that it's been well received. I tried to be as realistic as possible, given the situation.

It's nice to hear I do descriptions well, because sometimes I get a bit long-winded and think it might be overkill.

I didn't really think about it before, but you could definitely be right about Ignotus' son being grown. Ignotus was definitely older at the time of his death, and my only reasoning for making his son a child was because of the video portion in the movie honestly - his son was small when Ignotus left. I imagine Ignotus probably traveled around and enjoyed his life before settling down, but I guess it could go either way. That's a good eye for detail though, thanks for pointing that out to me!!

I definitely wanted the story to have a sort of "otherworldly" quality, and I'm glad to hear that it translated pretty well. I've never given it a ton of thought on how the hallows actually came into being, at least until I wrote this, but that's another reason why I sort of left the canon portion alone and just followed Ignotus' death. Even if he and his brothers just made these items and weren't given them from Death, I can still imagine Death may have them on his/her radar for being powerful enough to do such things. I like to think of them as friends, either way (:

Thanks again for another awesome review! You always leave me with a new perspective to think about, and it really makes me wonder, even about my own stories and the meaning behind them (which is a good thing)!

-- Fae


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Review #11, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - newgenerationlover

27th July 2014:
I actually laughed out loud at Fred declaring he was going to be like Peeves, only better. That is such a Fred-like thing to say. And I can totally imagine him seeing the advantages of being a ghost. After all, he can go through walls, pop up unexpectedly...

And I guess he could turn up in the shop to talk to George and advise him on new ideas for products and so on.

I was wondering why Fred didn't just go and speak to his family, but I guess he would like a more dramatic way of making an announcement.

*laughs at the brothers saying they missed each other after only being apart a couple of hours* But I guess the twins have always been together.

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Review #12, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Gryffindor - TidalDragon

27th July 2014:
The summary for this story had me intrigued. It makes it sound like he's going to be exposed as a Death Eater or something.

I really like your description of Flitwick's ancestor.

And you've created an interesting connection between his stature, the discrimination in the wizarding world and his background as a dueling champion.

Flitwick is a really interesting character to write about, as there is so little about him in the books, particularly how he thinks. He always seems laidback, but whether he just manages to successfully conceal how he feels from his students or whether he really is that laidback about things is never revealed. So it's interesting to read this interpretation of him.

I like the way he doesn't see any need to make a fuss about his past successes. That sounds like him.

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Review #13, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Gryffindor - nott theodore

27th July 2014:
*laughs* This is very similar to one of my chapters. I guess it's not surprising that in over three hundred chapters there'd be a few overlapping ones, but nonetheless, I had to read to see how you portrayed what was essentially the same scene - Aberforth telling Albus's portrait he forgave him.

I like the way you portray the conflicts in Aberforth's mind. The way he says he hates his brother, but also loves him and the way he's not sure whether or not it's good to see his brother.

I love the emphasis you've put on his relationship with Ariana and how it seems so much to be the defining relationship in his life.

I also like his realisation of how his brother has spend so much time trying to protect others and the effect Harry's words had on changing his opinions.

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Review #14, by MargaretLaneRainfall: Two

26th July 2014:
I was wondering how you'd characterise Scorpius when I was going on about the difficulty I'd had figuring out how to do so in my response to your review. I like the fact you've placed him in Hufflepuff. That leads to all kinds of speculation as to what he might be like.

And I'm now wishing I could read a spin-off of this about your Albus, Rose and Scorpius starting Hogwarts, but I guess you have more than enough to be writing. Both Albus and Scorpius sound like really interesting characters.

Hmm, I wonder why Hugo thinks he'll end up in Hufflepuff and if he actually will.

Love the idea that the Muggle world deals with some disabilities better than the wizarding world does. Your explanation makes sense, as the wizarding world DOES seem to work off the assumption that everything can either be solved by magic or should else just be dismissed, like its treatment, or lack of treatment of many of those suffering mental illness. Of course, we don't know exactly what happens, but there seems to be little effort made to cure people like Gilderoy Lockhart or Neville's parents; it seems to be more about containing them and protecting them from any kind of physical risk.

I LOVE Hugo's responses to the question about which question has no answer.

Those riddles get progressively more difficult to think up the more of them you have to invent.

And actually his description of Hogwarts makes me realise how difficult it would be for him there. Everything moves around so much, he wouldn't be able to remember where it is and wouldn't be able to see how it'd changed.

Yikes, Hugo's thoughts about how everybody'd be better off without him are getting concerning. Those are pretty dark thoughts.

Baked apple. That was one of the first things I made in cookery class when I was only a little older than Hugo. We started learning to cook in our second last year of primary school, which would be equivalent to the last year of primary for ye, I think. I'd have been nearly 11. I don't think I'd ever even HEARD of baked apples before that.

I think it's a bit unfair of Ginny to try and pressurise Harry into living at Godric's Hollow. It's surely something he needs to be comfortable with.

And I still think it's awfully sad the way kids in the wizarding world go away to school AT THE AGE OF ELEVEN and only go home for fairly short holidays. Even at COLLEGE, pretty much everybody I knew at least went home for weekends and we were all adults or pretty close.

*laughs* The comment about the security risk of Quidditch is rather timely for me, as a short while ago, there was a fuss here about security at a G.A.A. match. It was seen as insulting to the supporters, as if they were expecting trouble, though they said it was just because of the crowds.

You've written that they are bickering about "who's career is more active." I think it should be "whose" because it's not short for "who is" in that context.

Also there are a couple of sentences when Ron is being criticised for eating too much that I'm not sure whether Hermione or Ginny said. I guess it doesn't really matter anyway, but I'd like to be clearer who's speaking.

Snuffles!? *laughs* Yes, I think Sirius would be amused by that.

Author's Response: I've got a bit of character for all of them. I'm kind of thinking that when Hugo makes it to Hogwarts, I'm going to change the style (person and tense) so that I can do POV switches and not just work from Hugo's perspective. Then they'll all feature. The overarching plot is taking shape in my head, but of course I've got this novel to finish and probably one for next "year" to write before I get there!

Hugo thinking he'll end up in Hufflepuff is due to the stereotype of Hufflepuff being the leftovers - while his parents (Hermione especially) constantly tell him that it's about being hardworking and loyal, he thinks he'd be there because he's disabled and not good enough for any other House. As to whether he ends up there or not... I do know now, but I only decided when I got to about chapter 15.

You love them? I like them, but they also show his kind of self-hate/self-pity (and the fact that he can get a bit morbid sometimes). And yes, I could imagine them getting very hard to think up! I spent long enough on that one (and that was knowing that I wanted Hugo to give an answer like that).

He has mood swings. Major ones. And when he's miserable, he gets into a lot of self-hate. He's really happy sometimes, but he does descend into very dark thoughts.

We have baked apple a lot! But now instead of coring the apples and stuffing them with fruit and sugar we just quarter and core them and sprinkle the sugar on top. It's easier, and it always explodes anyway!

It is unfair. I had a bit of a fight with that bit of the chapter, but Ginny doesn't mean to be unfair. She's trying to help him, just doesn't understand fully how he feels. And Harry works himself up about it, so it's not just her being overly demanding, but she doesn't really get how hard it is for him. And she's a very determined woman when she sets her mind on something.

Yes, I think it's sad. I know you've got that as a huge theme in your own next-gen. I feel it's actually worst for muggle-born students, as they're going to this whole new world at the age of 11 and suddenly everything's changing and they only have a few months to get used to the prospect of leaving home. And they're not just leaving home but having to figure out everything all at once about this world they didn't even know existed. And their parents get very little choice about whether they send their children or not.

Thank you for pointing those out. I will genuinely go and fix them now! (Usually I think about it and decide it's not worth bothering, but I've actually got some pride in this story!)

Haha yes, I think he would like it a lot.


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Review #15, by MargaretLaneActions Speak Louder than Words: Breakout: Rose POV

26th July 2014:
I like the way Scorpius immediately recognises that Rose is finding things a little difficult.

"Professor" should have a capital "P" when it's used as a title, so it should be "Professor Longbottom," not "professor Longbottom."

Yikes, Rose doesn't exactly hold back, does she? Commenting like that on Albus and his girlfriend's relationship. And yikes, Dom is even more direct. They don't exactly maintain privacy, do they? *laughs*

Just a random fact: "Colleen" is actually the Anglicisation of the Irish word for "girl", which is spelled "cailín," but pronounced the same.

Love the relationship you've created between Albus and Rose, where they confide in each other like that. And his comment that they've been worried about her for a long time.

YIKES! Death Eaters, still! More than twenty years after the war. At this stage it must be about 28. I guess it's not entirely surprising, but I REALLY hadn't expected it, especially not after such a relaxed pub scene. I wonder what's going on now. *is intrigued*

"Potters'" should have the apostrophe after the "s" as there is more than one of them.

And I think Scorpius is right to send Rose to go and get Lily. For one thing, somebody probably should. A sixteen year old shouldn't be involved in something like that. Despite what Harry and his friends got involved in at younger ages, it's not exactly ideal. And Rose isn't an Auror or in any way trained in battle, apart from her Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons, so when there are Aurors there, there's no need for her to be involved, especially when she already has trauma from a previous attack and doesn't need it reinforced. AND when they still don't know what that guy's intentions were and he COULD well be involved with the Death Eaters for all they know.

Now, admittedly, part of the reason I'M thinking that is because I assume you must have some reason for bringing them in and your characters don't have the same reason to suspect his involvement, but I still don't think it's a good idea for her to be fighting unknown Dark Wizards when they know there's at least one that seems to have some particular interest in her.

And of course, the last part does seem to imply that yes, it is Rose they are after. I really wonder why.

This does seem to fit with the possibility of revenge, but even if that's true, why specifically on Rose? You'd think they'd be more concerned with Harry's kids, if anything.

Unless of course, it's somebody Hermione or Ron played a specific part in defeating. I can't exactly remember who they dueled in each book now. I tend to skim over the duels and just wait for Dumbledore's explanations as to what's going on anyway. Hmm.

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Review #16, by MargaretLaneActions Speak Louder than Words: Breakdown: Rose POV

26th July 2014:
OK, I'm FINALLY getting back to this. As this is such a long chapter, and it's such a gorgeous day, it's likely I'll only get one chapter read now, but I WILL catch up. I promise.

Hmm, now I'm intrigued about the type of magic Scorpius used. Ruth seems to be implying there's something mysterious about it, but not in a bad way.

I'd be inclined to put the inverted comma before the word "curse" when you wrote about the "let's not talk about it" curse.

It must be particularly hard for Rose to speak to a therapist when she's training to be a medical professional herself. Obviously, medical professionals do need to attend medical practitioners just as anybody else does, but I'd imagine it would be easy to feel embarrassed about receiving help when you're usually the one who gives it.

Poor, poor Rose. Losing a patient, particularly for the first time, must be traumatic enough and particularly when she's so anxious to prove herself, let along having it happen after everything else she's been through. I hope it doesn't set back her recovery.

Yeah, it's down to Rose that so many people were saved, but I imagine the whole event was still pretty traumatic.

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Review #17, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - BookDinosaur

26th July 2014:
LOVE your opening paragraph. You've really captured Sir Cagodan's attitude in just a few lines.

And you seem to have his speech patterns absolutely accurate.

I also really like the monk's response about violence never being the answer. Somewhat in tune with his calling.

*cheers for him actually getting to play a part in the battle, finally* You should write a follow up to this actually, where he bores everybody for years afterwards about the pivotal part he played in winning the Battle of Hogwarts for the Order. I can totally imagine him doing that.

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Review #18, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Hufflepuff- evil little devil

26th July 2014:
Love George's reaction when Bill says Fred would have liked the idea of George making up for both of them. I agree. I think if he could speak to George he'd say a version of what the twins said to Peeves on leaving Hogwarts.

That part where he's telling his children about Fred and how they should make up for everything he didn't get to do brought tears to my eyes.

And it is so like George to compliment Roxanne, rather than scolding her, when she gets up to mischief.

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Review #19, by MargaretLaneCould Be Magic : The Eye-Q

26th July 2014:
This is a really interesting idea. And I love his confusion over why an IQ test is so-called.

I do think he seems rather low-functioning for somebody whose IQ is only in the borderline range. I guess it depends on exactly where his difficulties lie, but not being able to list the days of the week at 11 seems unusual.

*laughs* That is SO 11 years old - still wanting to play with his toys, but wanting to seem too grown up to do so. And the fact he's already been teased makes him likely to be even more sensitive about looking childish.

Poor kid. Those kids in his class seem horrible. I know kids with difficulty learning do get teased, particularly those like him, who don't actually have a disability that would gain them their classmates sympathy and make them understand, but to the point he can't attend school? Yikes.

I really like the way you write the chapter in his voice. It's quite slow and ponderous which seems to reflect the way he thinks. He seems to consider things quite carefully and take some time to figure things out and the writing style reflects that.

*laughs at the doctor not having a granny to scold him for messy writing* I love that line.

Wow, he's caught up quickly if he only learnt his letters a year or so ago and is now functioning at the level of a ten year old.

I think in the UK, a public school means a really posh private school.

And I suspect a private school could be worse, since they tend to have more high achievers. I think in the UK, schools are even allowed to refuse kids on the grounds of low ability.

Are you going to continue this throughout his first year at Hogwarts? If he goes, I imagine he'll have a REALLY hard time, as kids there are expected to write long essays that would challenge even a normally functioning 11 year old's literacy level and without any classes in essay writing or basic literacy. They seem to have no remedial help either, though of course, Harry Potter is set in the '90s when there was far less help for learning disabilities anyway.

I have often wondered how the weaker kids at Hogwarts manage. After all, at 11, some kids would have a reading/writing age of about 6 or 7 and they get no further help with their reading, but are expected to write long essays and read difficult textbooks, that appear to require a reading age well above 11.

Author's Response: First of all, thanks for taking the time to leave such a lengthy review! It means a lot :)

I agree that not listing the days of the week seems a bit slow, even for Aspen- it was a thought that frustrated me while writing because I wanted to showcase his real mental abilities without confusing the reader...

Aspen does want to grow up, a fact that will remain clear throughout his days at Hogwarts.

I can't go into detail, as that would spoil the story, but I have always wondered what would happen if a child with a disability were to enter Hogwarts. We don't seem to see any of that in the books, but that can't mean all wizards are perfect, right? But of course Aspen will have a harder time than the other kids.

Only just don't call Aspen disabled because technically he's not... His IQ is 77, not 75 :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #20, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - UnluckyStar57

25th July 2014:
Wow, this is a really interesting character to write about. I honestly couldn't figure out who he was until Helena addressed him as "Baron".

I love the connections you've made between his admiration for Slytherin, his interest in the Dark Arts and his own crimes.

Great chapter and really well written. Sorry this review doesn't do it justice.

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Review #21, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - Leonore

25th July 2014:
*laughs* I think a certain person in my own story could do with hearing some of this. Actually, if I ever write events from her point of view, Bill probably will be referenced.

I totally agree with Bill about it being better Greyback is just dead. As they say "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth just leaves everybody blind and toothless."

I like the way you have Lavender recovering. This is a really interesting thing to write about, as it must affect somebody pretty seriously to know their looks are irreversibly changed to the point people might even struggle to recognise them and that from now on, the first thing people will notice are their scars.

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Review #22, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Pureblood's Secret: Auror Headquarters

25th July 2014:
Yeah, thankfully, we don't have the same level of problems with regard to healthcare as some people in the U.S. have, but we could still do with this universal healthcare we were promised when our current gov took power.

I chuckled at John's excitement.

LOVE the change to the fountain. That thing was creepy.

Johnson does NOT seem like a fun boss.

And ugh, Greyback is nasty. Perhaps he's hoping somebody'd cut themselves on a nail paring, since werewolf scars are permanent. The idea of somebody having a permanent reminder of him, even in the form of a tiny scratch sounds like something he'd appreciate.

Just occurred to me that Albus is lucky, in one way, that Harry stood down, or he wouldn't have been able to do that internship.

I again chuckled at James jumping off the desk. That sounds SO like something he'd do.

*laughs at their sending the really funny ones around the department before binning them*

LOVE all the details you've created about illegal potions and how complicated the law can get. It makes sense, especially the part about having permission from the person you want to Polyjuice as. And I'm now thinking about somebody using Polyjuice to do the O.W.L.S. or N.E.W.T.S. for somebody. There was a case here where somebody impersonated somebody to do their Leaving Cert. exam for them.

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Review #23, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Hufflepuff - hangingwallflower

24th July 2014:
*grins* This idea actually occurred to me when I was thinking through various things I could write about - how Helena Ravenclaw felt about the destruction of the diadem. It didn't really seem right for me though, but I'm glad somebody wrote it.

LOVE the way she's wondering what her mother would have thought. She's bound to feel that way when she sees the school her mother put so much work into helping to build up in ruins around her.

It's a real indication of Tom Riddle's charm and deviousness that even as a teenager, he could beguile a woman who'd lived for centuries and must have seen nearly everything, isn't it?

There's something really sad about Helena Ravenclaw. What she did in stealing the diadem was wrong, but it seems like everybody she trusted took advantage of her or hurt her - the Bloody Baron and Riddle.

I love the last part about how she smiles for the first time in 700 years. There's something about the character I like and it's nice to see her actually happy.

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Review #24, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw- Ravenclaw333

23rd July 2014:
Ahhh, "Libertas" means something rather different to me. It's the name of a short-lived Irish political party.

Those are interesting reasons for choosing a Head Boy, but I guess in a way, it makes sense. The position might possibly teach Draco something, to work for the school rather than just for himself and a Slytherin Head Boy might help to reconcile Slytherin house as part of the school and make the pupils feel less excluded, in an era where there is bound to be some resentment against them.

Luna too is an interesting choice for Head Girl.

And I think it is totally in character for her to forgive him so easily. I think Luna is quite a forgiving person. And she seems to have a good deal of insight and understanding of other people and why they behave as they do.

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Review #25, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Slytherin - Iellwen

23rd July 2014:
This is such a brilliant chapter. It's so sad and yet, there is a redemptive quality to it too.

I love the relationship between Draco and his parents and the way that Lucius can be so evil to so many people and yet care so deeply about his wife and son.

This chapter makes me feel so sorry for Draco. It brought tears to my eyes. I love the ending where he vows to make up for what he's done by ensuring such a thing will never happen again. I'm crying as I write this.

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