Reading Reviews From Member: MargaretLane
1,041 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: Bird and Master

1st April 2018:
Just realised last night you'd a new chapter up, but that was when I got home from the Easter Vigil Mass at half 10 or 11 at night, so I wasn't going to start reading then.

Oooh, I'd forgotten Unglesbee. I wonder if he's just a Harry Potter fanboy or if there is something weirder going on here. I have a sort of feeling he could be somebody under Polyjuice or something. I don't know why. There's just something a bit off about him. I mean, maybe he just feels a bit fake as he is imitating all Harry's teachers rather than developing his own style of teaching, but there is a slight possibility there is something more to it.

*grins at Nott* I wonder what that character is like.

I'm not at all surprised David isn't too happy about his family secret being spread all over school. Poor boy.

And I really wonder what the significance of this phoenix is. It's rather interesting.

Oooh, that IS interesting. I suspect this phoenix will come in handy later in the series.

Author's Response: Hope Easter went well.

I like Unglesbee a lot. He's fun.

David's biggest worry with his family secret was Albus and Rose not accepting it, so the worst of it is over, thankfully.

I love the phoenix so much. :) I love phoenixes in general.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #2, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: The Globe

7th March 2018:
Oooh, you hinted there was more to the globe, but I didn't think we'd find out about it this quickly. Not that I know whether we do or not yet. *goes to read*

Hmm, you've just had me wondering if the books ever say how long the Christmas holidays are at Hogwarts. They are two weeks here, ending around the 6th of January when Christmas ends.

*grins at Raven and Nicole only being there for the sweets* Good a reason as any really. And I like the reference to characters having best friends in other houses.

*grins* We were just talking about celebrities and their private lives. In Ireland, it's not that common to know the names of people's children, let alone recognise them. I DO know the names of at least one of our previous president's children, because SHE kept talking about them, but I wouldn't recognise them and I don't know the names of our current president's children or the previous Taoiseach's (our current Taoiseach doesn't have children).

There's a touch of Hermione about Lindsay actually. I only just noticed that. A Muggleborn with a passion for improving the world.

*laughs* Peace for anybody in the wizarding world named Potter...don't think that's going to happen.

The word "learn" is used rather a lot in this sentence: "irst of all, learn how to learn the patronus charm, if you have not learned the spell already." I think the second one might be meant to be "cast" or something.

And ooh, Dementors descending on Britain. I didn't really expect that but it does make sense. Although it does raise the question of whether the Dementor King has some particular interest in Britain or if the place is just random.

That sounds like James, the whole thing about Dracula. And I LOVE your description of Azkaban. It's really atmospheric.

That is REALLY interesting. DID the Auror sense him or was he reacting to something Albus didn't notice? Something that wouldn't man much to Albus. COULD he get out of the globe and reach Albus? The latter doesn't seem likely. If he DID see or sense Albus, did he believe Albus was in the prison? And his reaction seems a bit over the top considering Albus is only a young boy.

Oooh, that part about it being too good to be true sounds ominous. Though I'm pretty sure Harry (and even more so GINNY, given her experiences with the diary) would already have considered the fact it seemed too good to be true and would surely have checked out the magic behind it.

And yeah, being able to see into Azkaban in particular does seem weird.

I DOUBT he is imagining it. It MIGHT not be him the Auror was reacting to, though it sounds as if it was, but even if it's not, I'm sure it's something significant.

*laughs* Rose said just what I did, that Harry and Ginny are hardly likely to be naive when it comes to dark objects.

Poor Albus. A thirteenth birthday is special. It's the only time in your life you become a teenager. And it was sort of spoilt for him.

You've given "Monday" a small "m" in one place.

Spotting a Dementor or somebody under an Invisibility Cloak are the sort of things I was thinking of, but I doubt it's going to be that now Harry mentioned it.

One thing that seems a bit odd is Harry calling Ginny "Ginny" in a letter to Albus. It would be more usual to say "your mum" or "your mother."

*grins* And now Albus has said what I did about Ginny being likely to be wary of magical objects.

I think he should show it to a teacher. Surely some of them would have expertise with magical objects. The obvious choices, Dumbledore and McGonagall, obviously aren't there, but Flitwick might know what to do or if he didn't, he could ask a teacher who did.

This is really weird. If the item was one of a kind, you'd expect it to be extremely expensive, not something one would buy for a 13 year old. I'm guessing maybe somebody WANTED Albus to have it and sold it to Ginny for a reasonable price to ensure it got to him. This seems even more likely given your mention of a "peddler" rather than a shop. That indicates somebody who wants to remain in the shadows or who may not usually sell things but only sold this for a special reason.

I suspect that dream is relevant from the way you say he barely remembered it. Otherwise I would assume you were just letting us know how both Quidditch and Dementors are on his mind. The globe is probably a similar shape to a Quaffle. I wonder if that's relevant.

This chapter is intriguing!

Author's Response: I imagine winter break being about 2 weeks, but you're right in that they never really mention it in the actual books. I just had it end on the 6th because of convenience story-wise.

Characters can definitely have best friends in other houses. I get that most people's friends are in their own house- it makes sense, as you live together- but I know from experience that your best friends aren't necessarily the people who live right next to you.

For the celebrity thing, I was more thinking about the U.S- I know what both Trump and Obama's kids look like, as that sort of thing is more well-known on this side of the pond. But I think Albus would be more recognized in the wizarding world because
1) The wizarding world is incredibly small, so the few celebrities that exist would be more recognized
2) Albus looks a lot like his father and
3) Garrett has been going to the same school as Albus for a year and a half, and would have definitely paid attention to the sorting.

I never really thought about the similarities between Hermione and Lindsey before, but you're right. They are very similar and equally passionate.

*cringe* That sentence with the word "learn" is something I edited shortly before submitting, so I didn't catch that.

This is just speculation, but I think the Dementor King probably has interest in England because that is where he was made.

Unfortunately I can't say much about your theories for obvious reasons, but I do like them :)

Yeah, Ginny is very knowledgable when it comes to dark objects because she was possessed by a diary.

Thanks for reviewing! Love all your ideas. :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: Family Quidditch

24th February 2018:
Yay, chapter 13 is up. I only realised this morning.

*laughs at Grandma Weasley going to buy the wool for another sweater* That is SO like her.

You've written "most of the relatives didn't even know he was until a few days ago." I'm guessing it should be "didn't know WHO he was" or "didn't know he was coming."

David's life sounds kind of lonely. His parents are in jail, he has no siblings, it sounds as if he has no cousins and his aunt and uncle seem to be busy a lot. So different from the Weasleys' world.

Wow, that crystal ball/globe really IS amazing. And I'm glad it doesn't go inside buildings. There would be all kind of ethical issues with that. I can see this being REALLY useful when they get caught up in mysteries and I BET they will find out something about the Dementor King with it. They'll be able to track him.

I LOVE the fact that Roxanne is such a brilliant Beater. It's a role that usually seems to be filled by boys so it's nice to see a girl who is talented in the role. And George must miss Fred when playing Quidditch.

Yeah, I can imagine it must be awkward for David to meet Neville outside school. It's different for Albus and the others - they knew him as a family friend before they knew him as a teacher.

Author's Response: Yup, it is very like Mrs. Weasley to go out and buy more wool like the day of Christmas.

Yes, I did mean "didn't even know WHO he was". Thanks for catching that.

I know, I like the globe thing too! I wish I had one. I got the inspiration for it from Google Earth, actually, but it is so much cooler than Google Earth. Google Earth doesn't let you see everything that is going on right at that very moment.

Roxanne is a pretty spectacular beater, and she's always been in my mind like that. To be honest I never thought "ooh yay, I'm being revolutionary by having a girl beater". Now that I think about it, I realize that I never hear of girl beaters, but I never thought about it before now.

Yeah, George does miss Fred a lot when it comes to Quidditch. When cooperation is a key part, who better than your twin brother?

Thanks for reviewing Margaret!

 Report Review

Review #4, by MargaretLaneThe Son of Death Eaters: The Son of Death Eaters

24th January 2018:
I like the inclusion of the name Slughorn. Given the size of the wizarding world, it's likely she is some relation to Horace.

Fair play to Harry for wanting to give them a chance to come quietly.

*laughs at his comment that it's not like having Death Eaters trying to kill him is a new thing* Well, true.

I really didn't expect them to try that anyway, but I guess it's hardly surprising in one sense, given the prospect of Azkaban. And yeah, whatever chance they MIGHT have of claiming Voldemort and the Death Eaters forced them to enlist or of getting a lighter sentence, given that they were only involved for a few months, firing a killing curse at an Auror and HARRY POTTER at that, pretty much guarantees them a long sentence.

I LOVE the detail about baby books not recommending side-along apparition until the child is at least five. It makes sense. And it reminds me of something I have planned. And of course Harry would know, having kids of that age himself, whereas the other Aurors, being younger and probably not having had kids yet, would be less likely to.

Oh poor Harry. It makes sense that he would feel guilty about depriving a child of its parents when he was deprived of his. But it is NOT the same thing. For one thing, David's aunt and uncle are unlikely to be like the Dursleys. He's bound to feel the similarities though and I really like that you draw attention to his guilt. I hadn't really thought about how he must have felt, knowing that whatever David's parents had done, there was no evidence they were not good parents.

I really like Ginny's reaction. David's parents may have been kind to him - there isn't really enough information to say - but being raised by pureblood supremacists who used the Killing Curse so easily would be bound to have negative effects. Hmm, it's interesting to wonder how different David might be had he been raised by his parents. Maybe he would have been raised to hate Harry and his family. Or maybe he would have turned out much the same anyway, because parents aren't the only influence on a child and he could have done a Sirius on it. Or maybe he would have been very wary of the wizarding world, having been raised in the Muggle world. Maybe his parents would have fled England to try and avoid him being invited to Hogwarts in case it drew attention to them.

I LOVE Harry's comments about Sirius and how judging somebody by their parents would be a betrayal of Sirius. That's beautiful.

Author's Response: All wizards are distantly related, somehow, so he's definitely related to Horace in some way. However, Slughorn is part of the Sacred 28, so there's probably a decent number of wizards named Slughorn.

Yeah, when in doubt, never shoot a killing curse at Harry Potter. *laughs* It'll end badly for you.

I kind of wonder what David would have been like if he was raised by his parents. He would have been very loved, but not endlessly spoiled like Malfoy, I think, and I think he would have been a little prejudiced (but not to the extent Malfoy was). Ultimately, I think David would have turned out pretty similar but maybe have been in Slytherin.

I see a lot of similarities between David and Sirius. Both raised by families in Slytherin, both turned out to be Gryffindors. Both get through their troubles by laughing and making jokes. I'm not surprised that Harry noticed the connections too.

Thank you for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #5, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: David's Revelation

23rd January 2018:
Oooh, it sounds like I'm going to get the information I've been waiting for. Well, SOME of the information I've been waiting for. There are other things I want to know in this story too, like about the missing child, but this is the immediate one as it's been discussed so much in the previous couple of chapters.

"New Year's" should probably have an apostrophe before the "s".

*grins at Albus saying Hogwarts is less stressful than the previous year* Given that a dark wizard was trying to KILL him then, I don't think that's really saying too much.

*grins at Mrs. Weasley saying Hogwarts isn't feeding them properly* Typical Mrs. Weasley.

Poor Albus. It's hard enough at his age when somebody your own age has a problem. When it's somebody older than you, it's nearly impossible. It seems almost presumptuous to give them advice.

*laughs* I think George would practically DISOWN Fred and Roxanne if they didn't like pranks.

Yikes, I didn't quite expect Albus to find out exactly like that. He must have gotten some shock. I can imagine that David would just want to get the moment over with though.

I was WONDERING how, if his parents were Death Eaters, they were able to have a child what? Seven or ten years after the Battle of Hogwarts? That explanation makes a lot of sense. I never thought of it happening like that. I thought maybe his family were just supporters like the Blacks or that maybe an uncle or aunt or grandparent was a Death Eater. Or that maybe there were so many imprisoned after the war that the less important people were released fairly quickly. But their escaping and only being tracked down later...gosh, no wonder David is so upset by the whole thing. It would be bad enough to find out your parents had committed criminal acts and spent time in prison before you were born, but to have them arrested during your lifetime... That must have been really traumatic.

And it makes a lot of sense that the Aurors couldn't prioritise everybody at once and that people who had been Death Eaters for six months disappearing wouldn't be much of a priority.

His aunt and uncle must really BE almost like parents to him at this point and it would definitely be much easier for him to describe them that way at Hogwarts rather than having to think up a reason he lived with his uncle and aunt.

It must be sad for his uncle and aunt too, that he doesn't seem to feel particularly close to them and doesn't want to go home for Christmas, even though they raised him since he was two and appear to care for him.

Poor Scorpius. I'm starting to feel sorry for him too. No wonder he feels angry, when he is judged so much by his family and other kids also have parents connected to the Death Eaters, but because their names aren't as well-known, don't get picked on for it.

I was WONDERING what Harry had said to him. I didn't really think Harry would be likely to bring the situation up, even if he DID know, but bringing it up in that context makes sense. Apart from anything else, Harry would have wanted to know what HE should say to Albus.

"Any more secrets" should have two separate words for "any" and "more."

And yikes, this must be embarrassing for David. It's one thing telling your best friends, another the whole household hearing. Poor kid.

I'm wondering now if David's secret has any connection to the storyline. I didn't expect it would have, but if his parents were Death Eaters and Zajecfer is trying to emulate Voldemort, it's not impossible. Maybe Zajecfer might be planning to break some ex-Death Eaters he thinks might support him out of Azkaban and David's parents might be among them.

Really interesting chapter. And that one-shot sounds really good too. Looking forward to reading it.

Author's Response: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about the missing kid storyline. It'll play out. Eventually.

Yeah, his year is still 100x more stressful than mine would ever be, but in comparison to his first year it's not quite as bad. *laughs*

Yeah, poor Albus can't give Fred much advice. He doesn't know how to respond to any of it.

I find it hilarious that after all this time David just sort of screams it out. *laughs* It's totally unexpected to poor Albus and Rose.

I mean, all the traumatic stuff David went through he doesn't really remember. And at the time, when he was about 2, he didn't really understand what was going on so I think he was able to bounce back pretty quickly. But yeah, it all still affects him to this day, clearly.

You'll see more of what Harry said to David in the one-shot, but David summarized it for Albus pretty well.

I just want to say that i really liked all your theories. When you first guessed that he was the son of death eaters or dark wizards I was really proud of you for picking up on all the clues. But obviously I couldn't say that. Hooray! :)

Zajecfer is currently body-less, so I feel like he should probably get a body back if he wants to do Azkaban breakouts. :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: Fire and Water

21st January 2018:
Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about them being forbidden to go home for Christmas the previous year. So it's been two years since Albus has had a Christmas with his family. That's FOREVER at his age.

Hmm, this is getting weird. When David first said he was staying at Hogwarts for the Christmas, I was thinking, "hmm, maybe the idea about his parents being Death Eaters was correct. Or maybe they are cruel or abusive or something." But then he doesn't want to go to the Burrow either. I suppose if his parents WERE Death Eaters or something, he might not be comfortable meeting Harry. Though if his parents were Death Eaters, wouldn't they be in Azkaban? And he wasn't born until after the war, so... They could still be dark wizards Harry came up against at some point of his career as an Auror though. Or maybe David has some reason for wanting to remain at Hogwarts.

I do think there is something odd about his family, something to do with Harry or the other Weasleys. It might not be a Death Eater since I would imagine the Death Eaters were mostly still in Azkaban when he was born, but he could be related to somebody like Fudge or Scrimgeour or Rita Skeeter. No, I doubt he'd be able to hide the first two. The wizarding world seems to have a pretty intrusive press. I still kind of think it is probably Death Eater or dark wizard related. Somebody minor perhaps or somebody who supported the Death Eaters without being part of them.

David DEFINITELY doesn't have a happy family anyway, given his comment about how Albus should go and have Christmas with his wonderful, happy family. It sounds like he is jealous of that.

It will be interesting to see how David and Harry react when they meet. And that exchange between Art and David seems to confirm that David is afraid Harry knows something about him or his family and it's not just that David feels uncomfortable around a loving family because it reminds him of what he's missing. Angie style. This is reminding me a little of Angie spending Easter with Rose's family in 2nd year, but I've a feeling there is some extra dimension to it here and David's secret won't turn out to simply be an unhappy family life like Angie's. Or at least that it won't turn out to be just being embarrassed because his family is abusive or poor or something. If that were the case, he'd be as worried about telling Art as Albus or Rose. It seems to be specifically connected to the wizarding world.

Love the references to Global Warming and how that shows that we are into the 21st century here.

That IS interesting about how David is attracted to water and Albus to fire. I'm guessing that is going to play some part in this series, but I can't see what it could be.

OK, this is getting even more mysterious. Why does he alone see and hear the phoenix? I'm guessing his use of nonverbal magic comes into this somewhere too. It's beginning to look as if maybe Albus has some kind of destiny or is some kind of chosen one like Harry. I assumed he just got dragged into things because of being Harry's son. And that DID seem to be why Zajecfer targeted him, but it looks like there may be something more as the series progresses.

His connection to the phoenix MIGHT have something to do with him being named after Albus Dumbledore, I suppose.

I like the detail about Rose and Hugo being particularly close to Hannah.

Author's Response: Yeah, it has been two years for Albus since he had Christmas at home. I'm surprised he's not more homesick. I certainly would have been at his age. But I guess he's just so busy at Hogwarts that he doesn't think about home too much.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE all your theories about David. Seriously, I enjoy all the thought you've put into this, it's awesome. All your conclusions are very logical.

Yeah, the thing with the phoenix is interesting, isn't it? Very intriguing. And that is a good point, with the Albus Dumbledore connection. Albus Dumbledore had a phoenix, and now Albus Potter seems to have attracted the interest of one.

Rose and Hugo have a very close relationship with Hannah. That might come into play later. ;)

I think mentioning Global Warming because even though Albus might be ignorant of the muggle world, the muggle-born wizards certainly aren't.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #7, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: The Four Dragons

3rd January 2018:
I'm glad Rose got out of trouble. Longbottom's reaction is reasonable. After all the crater WAS an accident.

*laughs at Albus not wanting to know why James has spikes* Some things one is better off not asking.

This time I don't really blame Madame Pince. I'm surprised they didn't get in more serious trouble for doing magic in the library without permission. If there is no magic allowed in the hallways, I doubt she'd allow it in the library. And that seems like it could be a pretty dangerous spell.

*laughs at most of the Weasley clan being banned from the library* That must make life pretty difficult when they have exams or essays to write. I'm surprised Rose isn't more worried about it, to be honest. And I REALLY wonder what Hermione will say when she hears her daughter was banned from the library. And not for something done to solve a mystery or anything but for using magic to breath fire.

I really like the references to Roxanne duelling and picking fights. It's always nice to get a bit of insight into the various characters.

Author's Response: Madam Pince is usually pretty unreasonable, but... they were breathing fire in a library. That's pretty stupid on their part. I agree with you there.

While Rose does use the library to research stuff that the four of them need, Rose isn't quite as obsessed with the library as Hermione. I feel like Hermione would be much more worried than Rose.

Yeah, I feel like whenever I mention Roxanne it's always in the context of her dueling someone. She does that a lot.

Thanks for reading!

 Report Review

Review #8, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: Rising From the Ashes

22nd December 2017:
Oooh, I like the appearance of the phoenix.

Oh poor Rose. She didn't deserve to get two weeks of detention for something she hadn't even done. It was really nice of her to cover for Albus and the others like that. I can see why she wouldn't want to tell tales though, especially when it might also mean explaining WHY Albus attacked David and she doesn't know yet if what he is keeping to himself is something he would be OK with the teachers asking about or not. I can DEFINITELY see why she would be angry with Albus. She has every reason to be.

Hmm, that is interesting about Marc's background. I wonder how he gets on with his adoptive parents.

Interesting to think about the years from 1996 to 1998 being ones of warfare in the wizarding world since in the Muggle one, they were the time of the peace process.

And your response about how long it is since ye're civil war made me think that actually pretty much all our wars were fought on Irish soil, unless you include World War I, which I guess you should really as Ireland was part of the UK at the time and got dragged into that, but since we had no say in the matter, we tend to ignore it. The Irish army last took part in a war in 1923 and actually the ONLY time the Irish army was at war was from 1922 to 1923 since before that we didn't technically HAVE an army, although I guess the Volunteers counted from 1919 to 1922 since they were taking orders from the elected government, even if that government was unrecognised.

Art and Rose are both pretty mature and sensible.

I was really hoping we'd find out David's secret in this chapter, but now it doesn't sound like we'll find it out any time soon. Having looked through your reviews and seen some of the suggestions, I'm inclined to think there might be something in the idea of his being related to one of the Death Eaters. That would DEFINITELY be something he might find it hard to admit to Albus and Rose.

Author's Response: Yeah, I definitely agree that Rose didn't deserve two weeks of detention. It's very sad. She has every right to be mad at Albus.

Marc gets on reasonably well with his adoptive parents.

Wow, Ireland is so different than the USA. We're at war all the time it seems like.

Unfortunately no, we're didn't find out David's secret this chapter. But you will find out eventually, I promise! And I like your guesses.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #9, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: The Fight

18th December 2017:
LOVE Rose pointing out that many of the professors have bad memories of dementors from the war. Stories often kind of forget the implications of the war. I think mine do sometimes, to be honest. Living in Ireland, war trauma isn't something that really occurs to me as the Republic hasn't seen a war since 1923. The North HAS, but they often seem pretty laid back about the whole thing.

I can well imagine that some of the professors would be a little disconcerted by dementors.

*laughs* Yeah, Fred and Louis sound like a lot to deal with all right.

Malfoy says, "He gets detention and I don't." I think it should be the other way around.

And yeah, that is ridiculous. If Ungelbee knew the cause of the duel and that Malfoy had started it and David was just defending himself or something, it would be different - there'd be some logic to that - but this just seems like he's favouring anybody that has the remotest connection to Harry Potter.

Oooh, that's interesting, that David has told Art. At least it means that whatever David is hiding, it's nothing really BAD. If he was up to something dodgy, Art wouldn't be so laid back about it. And it seems to be something related to the wizarding world as he feels more comfortable telling a Muggleborn.

I think Albus is being pretty unreasonable here. It's up to David who he wants to tell his business to. Hexing somebody because they don't tell you their secrets REALLY isn't on. He ought to apologise and admit to the professors that what happened was his fault and that Art was only trying to stop a duel he started.

Author's Response: Yeah, I feel like mine also forget the implications of war sometimes. The U.S. has fought in a lot of mostly foreign wars for a long time, but the last time we fought a war on our actual soil was I think way back in 1865 (the civil war). That's even longer ago than you!

Fred and Louis are basically like the Weasley twins reincarnated. They are a lot. George is proud of them.

Yeah, the phrase "He gets detenetion and I don't" should be the other way around! It's silly how I keep mixing up phrases. That would be funny if Malfoy was complaining about that though.

Unglesbee is a fun character to write, but if I actually met him, I would not like him. I hate favoritism, and Unglesbee's favoritism is very blatant.

Oh, I totally agree that Albus is being unreasonable and really needs to apologize. Hopefully next chapter someone will give him a stern talking-to...

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #10, by MargaretLaneMagical Me by Gilderoy Lockhart: The Hoary and Haughty Halls of Hogwarts

15th December 2017:
If he's not yet nine, he should have two to three years before he can start Hogwarts, since he needs to be eleven.

Hmm, I'm looking forward to meeting this friend of Lockhart's and seeing what impact he will have on things.

I like the variations of bubbles.

I really like the way he automatically assumes people who don't even know him must be jealous of him. It is so characteristic.

You've written "Quittich" instead of "Quidditch".

I'd actually like to read a bit more about this student newspaper. Sounds like it could be really interesting.

 Report Review

Review #11, by MargaretLaneMagical Me by Gilderoy Lockhart: The Once and Future Me

15th December 2017:
*laughs at his insistence that there is nothing wrong with his sisters being Squibs* It is quite clear he DOES think there is something wrong with it and being Lockhart, no doubt sees himself as infinitely superior to them.

It should be "Beedle the Bard," not "Beetle the Bard."

In a way, he really is just a stage magician, isn't he? I LOVE the way you have him fascinated by them and probably learning from them, how sleight of hand can fool people into believing what you want them to believe.

I LOVE your mention of the Fluke.

You've written "the others witches" when it should be "the other witches."

I love the puns on "He Who Must Not be Named" and "You Know Who."

 Report Review

Review #12, by MargaretLaneMagical Me by Gilderoy Lockhart: Author's Preface

15th December 2017:
This is a really brilliant idea for a story. And should be HILARIOUS.

LOVE the first paragraph. It is so typical of Lockhart's arrogance.

*laughs at him encouraging the reader to buy all his other works*

Oh, you've written "anniversary's" when it should be "anniversaries."

LOVE the simile about the "hungry dementor" and his implication that he is greater and more interesting than Harry.

You capture the essence of Lockhart really well.

 Report Review

Review #13, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: Solving Unglesbee's System

15th December 2017:
He seems to be acting like whatever teacher Harry had when he was in the year he's teaching. OK, that's confusing as I'm using "he" for two different people, but it DID occur to me that Albus's class was similar to Harry's first class when Harry was in 2nd year. So I am guessing everybody else got a similar first class to whatever Harry got at their age, especially as James said his class was pretty good and Harry had Lupin in 3rd year and he was a good teacher.

And YES! Or sort of. Roxanne said he demonstrated the Unforgiveables on spiders which is what Crouch did. I don't remember whether or not that was Harry's first class with him though. But he is obviously imitating Harry's teachers. That is BEYOND weird.

Ah, Rose's thinking sort of does make sense. Only VERY sort of though because not all the kids in Harry's year were brilliant.

*laughs at Albus's comment "I think he's insane"* I mean he probably IS but the way Albus include it is kind of funny. And pretty typical of a 12 year old's letters.

I think he is right not to mention David's behaviour. It's not really something Harry is likely to be able to help with. Not that mentioning it would do any harm.

And it makes lots of sense that people would be afraid to apply for a job that had previously been cursed. Especially after all the things that happened.

That is a really stupid thing for the paper to be focusing on - the head of the Department of Magical Transport having an affair. But the Daily Prophet isn't exactly known for its quality journalism, I suppose.

Oh, you've written "even if it doesn't come close to England" near the end of the chapter. From context, it seems like you meant, "even if it does come close."

Author's Response: You were right! Unglesbee is teaching everyone according to what teacher Harry had for each year. Except for the seventh years. Because Harry wasn't there and DADA didn't really exist, it was just "The Dark Arts" taught by death eaters.

The demonstration of the unforgivable curses did occur during the very first class with Moody, which is why Unglesbee did that on the first day.

Yeah, the Daily Prophet isn't the best. It's fair to say, that the head of a department having a scandal is a bit big. But of course Albus wouldn't care about that.

Yeah, you're right. I did mean "even if it does come close", not "doesn't". Nice catch.

Thanks for the review! It's always great to hear from you.

 Report Review

Review #14, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Chosen Four: Unglesbee's Class

15th December 2017:
I didn't realise you'd updated! I could probably do with some recapping on what has happened so far, but I'll just read this chapter anyway and see how it goes. I might read back over the previous chapters later if I get time.

The title has me intrigued by the way.

Love love LOVE your history of Emeric the Evil. I always like it when people add detail to the wizarding world. It makes it all feel so much more real. And I find the idea of Dementors being deliberately created really interesting. AND it explains why he was known as "the Evil." Great worldbuilding. Worldaddingto?

You've written that it would be the "equivalent of taking down all the wards and Hogwarts." Did you mean "all the wards around Hogwarts"?

*stares at this guy's obsession with Harry Potter* I mean, I guess it makes sense people would admire the guy who saved the wizarding world, but this seems extreme. Especially when he is teaching Harry Potter's sons. Like I might admire de Valera, but if I met one of his grandchildren (who are probably in their 60s by now), I wouldn't start interrogating them about what it was like growing up with Dev as their grandfather.

Hmm, he seems to be imitating Gilderoy Lockhart's classes. Even the questions on the test are fairly similar to those Lockhart asked. Gosh, he's never Lockhart under a different name or something?

Hmm, things are getting even more mysterious. What does Scorpius know about David? Interesting.

Author's Response: WHOOHOO nice to see you.

Yeah, I decided to throw a little bit of worldbuilding in there. Not much, but... yeah, it's fun. I always like reading other fics where people add onto the world as well.

Yeah, I probably meant "all the wards around Hogwarts" or just the words "at Hogwarts". I'll fix that.

Oh yeah Unglesbee is weird. He's very extreme. He's too much of a fanboy. If I met Harry's kids I wouldn't freak out that much.

Hmmm yes he does seem to be imitating Lockhart's classes... I wonder why... ;)

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #15, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: Scouts

1st November 2017:
I really like the way you show things like the applications procedure for various careers and the benefits available in the wizarding world. Sounds like it's not that easy to qualify for disability there, which doesn't surprise me.

And I also think it makes a lot of sense that the war would have an impact on how seriously mental health problems were taken.

I can DEFINITELY understand why Matt wouldn't want Rose there. Even with the best intentions, and I'm sure she would have the best intentions, it is the career she is aiming for and she is bound to take advantage of the opportunity to try and learn something, which sort of conflicts with attending as a friend to support Matt. It could make him feel sort of like a guinea pig in her training.

Yeah, it's not really surprising that Elsie might need a bit of support. I think it's a little more surprising that she would access it, particularly that she would be allowed access it. I would sort of have expected her family both to be the sort that saw mental health problems as a sign of some kind of weakness and also to fear things like counselling in case she let something slip about their activities. I suspect this therapy group could get interesting.

And that must be a little uncomfortable for Albus - to have people wondering why he is there. Not as bad as if he really were there because of a mental health problem but still awkward.

If Izzy IS Meg's sister, then I wonder if her panic attacks are anything to do with the issues in her family.

Poor Elsie. She seems quite uncomfortable too.

LOVE the expression "cauldron of fish". To be honest, I think it makes more sense than "kettle of fish."

Yikes, having a recruiter come to watch you play like that must be terrifying. At least while doing exams, you don't have somebody standing there watching you. Somebody will eventually correct the exams, of course, but you don't have to see the person who will do it.

Hope the match goes well for John.

Best of luck with Nano.

 Report Review

Review #16, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: Emily Rhodes

25th October 2017:
*laughs at the third years trying to get drunk on Butterbeer* Sounds pretty typical of that age group. And it's probably better than other experimentation they could be trying.

Hmm, Emily's interest in James seems a bit much. I wonder if she fancies him or if she is looking for gossip or if it has something to do with her previous friendship with Meg. Or maybe she's just making conversation and/or is naturally curious. Asking somebody basically, "is it true your brother is brain-damaged?" seems a little insensitive to say the least and she's a bit old to be that thoughtless. Especially as you'd expect her to want to impress Albus. But then some people ARE just thoughtless so I dunno. I've a sort of feeling there's something more to it but it could be just random.

Hmm, given her conversation with James, I wonder if it's Meg she's concerned about.

The conversation about Boone is somewhat apt as just yesterday an Irishman returned to Ireland after spending four years in prison in Egypt before being found innocent of all charges. It's been big news here for years, obviously.

Yikes, I suspect this is going to be a long story if it's not even Mischief Night yet. Not that I'm complaining. The more of this series there is, the better.

Oooh, I'm looking forward to seeing their lesson. Given where you've ended this, I'm guessing it'll be interesting.

 Report Review

Review #17, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: Malfoy's Secret

5th October 2017:
Hmm, I'm guessing the Malfoys are very anxious for their sons (and daughters) to be straight, marry and have children. It fits both with their traditional stance and with their concern for pureblood.

I don't think he was lying in any form. All it WAS was two people snogging in a broom cupboard.

LOVE the name WHS.

*laughs* Their "doesn't get much more serious than that" has pretty much been the norm over here. We've just lost another Garda Commissioner (basically the head of police) - the second to resign in three years due to scandals. A Minister for Justice resigned three years ago also due to those scandals and it probably hastened the end of our last Taoiseach (Prime Minister's) career, though that was done behind closed doors. The wizarding world seems to hang onto its leaders longer than the Muggle one does though, looking at the careers of the Ministers for Magic.

And yikes, Malfoy in charge. That would NOT be good.

 Report Review

Review #18, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: The Werewolf Registry

27th September 2017:
Great to see John doing well as captain. He hasn't had that much chance to shine in your stories compared with Albus, Rose, Amanda and even Kaden, with his potion brewing. So it's nice to see him showing his own abilities.

This sounds like a really interesting chapter from the quote in the chapter summary.

I HATE cold Octobers. At least if you get a cold early Spring (February, March), you know it won't last much longer and you expect it to be cold in December and January (and February and November too), but if it's cold in October, you just think, "we could have 6 or 7 MONTHS of this."

I ALWAYS approve of bringing characters to Ireland. And a magical Fota sounds like fun.

*laughs at the idea of setting fire to the registry*

That argument being the registry sounds like the arguments for things like torture or the death penalty. As far as I know, there is little or no evidence they reduce crime but people still argue in favour of them on the basis that they do. I can easily understand people wanting to know if there is a werewolf living near them, even though it is really unlikely to be any help. What can they actually DO to prevent an attack?

And yeah, it is hard to imagine what it would be like to be in a situation where one was denied such fundamental rights. Christy Moore wrote a song, "Ninety Miles from Dublin" about how internment was happening 90 miles from Dublin, but most people down here may have been horrified but saw it as something happening somewhere else.

Yikes, that number is creepy, given the similarity with the concentration camps of World War II. Which I assume is what you intended.

I think changing the Minister sounds like a good start!

*grins* Whether or not people can be fired for lycanthropy is the main issue being debated in my next gen story about the issue.

And yeah, being a teenager can feel SO helpless. I remember a couple of referenda in my teens/pre-teens that I felt strongly about but couldn't vote on. Not sure there would be much Albus could do about this even outside school though.

This is really weird. Is Malfoy gay? Is that what all his worry is about? It is possible. We don't really know how being gay is viewed in the wizarding world but I could EASILY see purebloods being obsessed with having children (and honestly, I find it pretty unrealistic in canon that purebloods seem to have such small families and that Draco mocks the Weasleys for being a big family. A group that wants to preserve pure blood SHOULD be putting pressure on people to have as many children as possible and it should be only having one or two children that is stigmatised) and since gay couples can't procreate, I could well see it being stigmatised.

Or there COULD be something more to this. We might just just meant to think they are a couple. They could be up to just about anything.

 Report Review

Review #19, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: International Relations

23rd September 2017:
I only remembered yesterday that there should be a new chapter of this up.

I wonder what it is that Newt has said isn't usually violent. And the twins look like they might be mischiefmakers.

Ah, I see where Clements is going. He's making a point about discrimination. I read once about a version that sounded effective - a teacher (or hypothetical teacher) asked all students to throw a piece of balled up paper into a bin at the front of the room. Of course, the students at the back complained that they had to throw further and were less likely to get it in.

Probably just as well Matt left the room before they started talking about discrimination against people with lycanthropy.

Oooh, those discussions can get tricky. It's hard to encourage debate on the rights of werewolves while still preventing hate speech. A colleague and I were discussing that issue recently as the new Junior Cert. English course requires students to do an oral presentation on a topic of choice. Clements seems to be handling it well. He seems like a good teacher.

That does sound tricky, that all the countries of the world have to agree.

I'd imagine he'd have to give more background to the 1st years. Some of them would be Muggleborns who wouldn't even know there are such things as vampires and werewolves, let alone which belong to which group. He'd probably have to start by discussing the different types of being in the Muggle world and getting them to categorise them or something.

Hmm, I wonder what is going on with Malfoy.

That's interesting - that Albus and his family went to group therapy sessions to teach them about how the war had affected Harry.

I can see issues with this group being open to everybody. On the one hand, I can see why the healer would want it that way - because there may well be students with undiagnosed issues and they may feel more comfortable going if they don't have to explain their issues first and can just let everybody think they are there to support a friend or something. On the other hand, I can see somebody like Malfoy showing up in order to find out other people's insecurities. And I think a lot of kids might feel uncomfortable talking about their insecurities or mental health issues in front of people who may not have comparable problems and who may not understand.

I hope it works out well for Matt.

 Report Review

Review #20, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: Careers

14th September 2017:
I like the sound of this chapter. Always interesting to get a hint about characters' futures. I was actually sort of disappointed that the epilogue to Harry Potter told us nothing about the Trio's careers and future lives, except that they married the obvious person and had kids.

Oooh, that makes sense; that they could fake the results. And since I assume Amanda will be applying for something like "politics" or "international relations" (not quite sure of the degrees in the UK but I am sure they'd have something along those lines), she would have the background, from her uncle and all. And working on a comparison with the O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. grades is fair. There are actually official comparisons between the Leaving Cert. here and the A-levels and the N.E.W.T.S. would probably be easier to match up, as they do closer to the same number of subjects.

I always sort of thought 11 was extremely young to close off so many career opportunities.

I might have said this before, but I love the variety of careers your characters show an interest in. In a lot of stories, it seems like pretty much everybody becomes an Auror, a Healer or a professional Quidditch player, with maybe one person going into a Ministry Department or becoming a teacher at Hogwarts. It's good to see more variety, especially careers that either don't appear in canon or aren't developed.

Aw. I love the way Albus makes an excuse to walk with Matt so it doesn't seem like he's just being nice.

And yeah, I can see why Weasley's might not be the best choice for Matt.

I'd actually been expecting Matt to feel better after the meeting - I'd thought Neville might have reassured him in some way - until I got to the point where Matt wasn't in the Marauder's Den or his dormitory or common room. That kind of indicated he was hiding, which gave the impression he wasn't too happy.

LOVE the fact that Albus suggests Lily could be an Auror. I don't think I've ever read a story where Lily or Rose became Aurors and even though Lily isn't interested in that career here, it's good to see an acknowledgement that she would be good enough and that it's not a male-only career.

Poor Matt. Even if he DOES find something he can do, he's going to be stuck with what will take him regardless of whether or not it's a job he'll actually enjoy.

 Report Review

Review #21, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: Felix Felicis

6th September 2017:
I'd be inclined to capitalise the subjects.

I probably mentioned this before but as a child, I read a lot of British and American books and as a result thought I'd have free classes in secondary school. *laughs*

That's pretty good - Longbottom meeting students about careers plans once a month. We were MEANT to have a meeting with the career guidance teacher to discuss our college/career choices, but the teacher was out sick or something so it never happened. And it would have been once in the year anyway. I guess Hogwarts is small enough that they can afford the time. Harder when there are over 100 in each year. We did have a career guidance class each week.

And I am intrigued as to what this potion that requires aconite is. I doubt you'd have placed so much emphasis on it if it wasn't important in some way.

I LOVE how you portray the issues related to the International Confederation of Wizards. My big historical hero, de Valera, went on a bit of a rant in the League of Nations back in the 30s (well, a de Valera rant - in other ways, phrased very politely and delivered in a monotone so that it's only afterwards you realise just how scathing he was really being - he was quite like Dumbledore) and criticised just what Matt is complaining about - Italy getting away with invading Ethiopia because it had trade deals with various countries and nobody really cared about Ethiopia. The way powerful countries can exert their will is naturally something that bothers those of us in small, insignificant countries.

And I like the way you show a world beyond Britain.

Hmm, Felix Felicis... And it takes six months to make. I figure that is going to play a significant part in this story, given both its inclusion in the title and the fact that it will take most of the year to make. I can't really see how it CAN be significant though. The title makes it sound like somebody is going to be under its influence and maybe get something they wouldn't otherwise. Matt? I suspect it might be for him that Rose wants to make it.

I've forgotten what Rose wants to do.

I like your inclusion of the application requirements. I don't think I've seen anybody describe the requirements. I guess I always assumed it would be pretty much a job application. I would never have thought of an essay. I know universities in some countries have them as part of their application process though. The Auror application process makes a lot of sense. Mental and physical good health would be kind of important for them.

That's interesting that they have a bit of freedom in seventh year. It's the exact opposite here. There is far more freedom in earlier years with the final year being focused very much on the exam and the questions likely to come up on it.

Hmm, Callahan's comment about all having different morals is interesting.

And I could completely see Malfoy using it before a job interview. Now that I think of it, that potion could be dodgy in the wrong hands. I know it has limited effect. Using it in Half Blood Prince didn't prevent Dumbledore from being killed or make the Death Eaters just walk away. But still. If Washburn or one of your villains had used it or if Lubar or one of the Willinsons had used it when trying to bring Voldemort back, it might not have ended well.

I really like the idea of discussing the ethics of various potions. I can see it both ways with Felix Felicis. Nothing wrong with making yourself lucky but there are so many situations when luck for one person means lack of luck for another. And not just in situations as simple as elections or sports contests. Like luck for a criminal is getting away with your crime or getting a good opportunity to attack somebody or luck for a bully again would be not getting caught. And even when nobody is really in the wrong, luck for one person bidding say for a house or land or a contract means bad luck for those bidding against them.

 Report Review

Review #22, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: Head Girl

28th August 2017:
The last year at school is such a mixture of feelings. Everything depends on the exams so you don't know what is ahead of you. Here, like I said yesterday, college offers only went out last Monday, so people end the school year still not knowing what is ahead of them. Not sure when the N.E.W.T. results come out but they can't have much time either. And while it is great to be finished with school, it also means leaving friends and everything you've gotten used to. Leaving a boarding school must be even more difficult, more like finishing college, as it would have become your home.

I am kind of seeing similarities between the situation here and American politics at the moment.

Love the explanation of all the confusion in wizarding law. I'm looking forward to seeing how things get figured out, if they do.

SO in character for Harry to express his understanding of James wanting to avoid people staring.

*grins at Albus wishing he could apply anonymously* That is one thing I love about our system. We DO apply to college anonymously and it's all done through a central applications office so whether you are the president's kid or the kid from a notorious estate, nobody knows. There are other problems, for example judging people solely by their performance in one set of exams and including subjects that have no bearing on a person's ability to actually do the job, but anonymity is definitely good, especially in a small country. And the wizarding world is even smaller. The odds of somebody knowing each applicant there must be huge.

Yikes, Albus is going to be busy! Preparing for final exams take up enough time without two extra-curriculars, prefect duties and tutoring. We used have about 3-4 hours homework and study each night after about 7 hours of school. Add on an hour or two of sports or other activities and you'd be going around the clock.

Rose seem to be running the prefects well, which is unsurprising given what we know of her personality.

*laughs at Ashtyn not having to do any chores and getting a new broom*

I think Amanda and Kaden would find it hard to get into a Muggle university with no G.C.S.E.s or A-levels or even any record of attending secondary school at all. I know their system isn't as "A-level only" as ours but I still think you'd need them and G.C.S.E.s to stand much chance. It looks as if their application form requires you to fill in your school. And your G.C.S.E. or equivalent results.

Not that either of them seems too enthusiastic about the idea anyway, but I wonder how feasible it would be even if they wanted to. Suppose they could study for the exams as adults. It's a big decision required of 11 year olds. Especially when they have no idea what careers they can even get as wizards.

I like the idea of 17 year olds being allowed into Hogwarts any weekend. It makes sense as they are now adults.

Yikes, Albus does have the most difficult task but it makes sense both that somebody would have to ensure the first years get where they are supposed to and that it would be 7th year prefects doing it. Being the most involved task, it should be those who are most experienced.

*grins* I started some revision before returning to school for my final year. Only had a vague schedule though.

Looks like things are really about to begin now. Looking forward to the next chapter.

 Report Review

Review #23, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: The Test

27th August 2017:
Aw, poor Albus. I don't know if it would make it easier or harder to have a cousin you feel sure will pass taking the test the same day as you. On the one hand, like he says, it means the attention isn't entirely on you but it also means there's an inevitable comparison if she passes and he fails. And the person who passed might feel uncomfortable about celebrating.

But I think Albus will pass anyway. I wouldn't even be surprised if Rose failed. Completely reverse Albus's expectations.

LOVE the part about having to do it without being seen by the fake Muggles.

Oooh, I can see a romance developing between Albus and Emily.

I'll be back for the last chapter. Tomorrow probably. It's late now.

 Report Review

Review #24, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: The Protest

27th August 2017:
Hmmm, the title of this chapter sounds interesting.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how Matt's last year goes.

Oh, I'd forgotten how much I look forward to seeing new teachers. I haven't read any next gens in a while. I do wonder who they will have for Potions.

This seems a bit like the Fudge situation, with people calling for the minister to be sacked. It never really explained WHO chooses or sacks the minister or how he or she is replaced. I know you had an election in...was it year four? Here, the party can vote out their leader and the parliament can vote out a Taoiseach. Generally, the party in power can decide on the Taoiseach, assuming whoever they are in coalition with (as overall majorities are rare) agrees. We had great craic recently with the governing party wanting their leader to go and him continually saying, "oh, I'll go after St. Patrick's day. We have to have somebody to visit the White House," "I'll go when things are more sorted about Brexit" and so on. He did eventually step down; you may have heard of our new Taoiseach. As he is gay, about 37, has an Indian father and comes from a privileged background, he isn't a typical Irish Taoiseach.

Sounds like getting rid of Laurentis is more complicated though.

*grins* The second story in my series has a discussion on making something into a spectacle for werewolf rights, basically. Though it's more unavoidable there as the villains are determined to create a spectacle against werewolf rights. Looking forward to seeing how it plays out here. I love your werewolf lore.

OK, this review is sort of a ramble of vaguely related stuff.

 Report Review

Review #25, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sway of Felicis: Owls

27th August 2017:
Wow, I just decided to check and see if by any chance you might have started this and you have! I think this is the first time I've read a series that went the whole way - well, I read one that stopped either after the sixth year or midway through the seventh, which was close enough.

Anyway, the title here is intriguing. The sway of felicis. I immediately assumed somebody under the control of the potion but then I thought it might not be that literal. Hmm.

Of course, Albus's first day at Hogwarts is only days away, which has me thinking I really should get back to my series, but the third year just isn't working for me.

Poor James. I really like the way you don't give any easy solution to his problems.

That's a string of inquiries worthy of Ireland, though generally what happens here is they run on for so long that the people involved are dead or retired by the time they are finished. We had a really corrupt Taoiseach (Prime Minister) in the '80s and he promoted a load of other corrupt people who went on the lead the party afterwards, so... (Let's put it this way, he used a friend's cancer treatment as a way to line his own pockets.)

I ought to read back over some of your series. I thought I remembered what was going on, but I keep coming across things I'd forgotten. It's "oh YEAH," when I do read them but I'm going to run into something that I've completely forgotten.

*grins* The Leaving Cert. results came out a week and a half ago and the college offers came out last Monday, so the papers have been FULL of "people who succeeded without the Leaving Cert." One actually included ABRAHAM LINCOLN, which had me thinking, "um, if you have to include somebody from a different country that doesn't even HAVE the Leaving Cert. and who lived in an era when qualifications were less important, you might just be contradicting your own point." Not that I believe college IS necessary in order to be successful. I just think that was an incredibly bad argument.

Poor James. But I do like the fact that you made him actually get bad grades. It's realistic.

Anyway, great to see Albus back. You know I've loved the series so far.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>