aw, this is so cute! I love the Draco/Astoria one :)Author's Response: Thank you! I liked that one a lot as well. It was different :) Report Review
oh my god leah, this made me cry :( SO SAD.
seriously, good job!Author's Response: Really? YAY! Thankyou :) Report Review
aw, I love this. I think it's my favorite one-shot of yours. Report Review
so for some reason, I thought this was a one-shot, and when I realized it wasn't, I got really excited!
this is awesome, and I can hardly wait for more updates! ^_^ Report Review
WHY WAS I NOT TOLD THAT YOU HAD A NEW WIP?!
Anyway, I love this! Connie AH. A hipster who isn't overdone?! I LOVE THIS.
James is pretty awesome, their situation is interesting and I found two typos: in the second paragraph, you used "you're" instead of "your" twice. ^^
CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE
Brielle :))Author's Response: Brielle!
To be honest, I didn't tell anyone, so... :)
Thank you ♥ ♥ Report Review
Hi Nell! I love this story, siriusly. Catching up on reviewing, don't mind me! ;)
I like how different her and Cal are. They're kind of like the perfect friends, because they both have such different characters. Her thoughts on love is just beautiful, because somehow, we all have that in us.
I'm also a fan that you referred to realism in this chapter, because that's one of my favorite things.
-BrielleAuthor's Response: Hola! Go ahead, this story feels a little neglected.
Cal is supposed to be Lonnie's dose of reality, in the frendliest/unfriendly package.
Phew, I thought nerding out in this chapter would alienate readers on all my bad hipster psychology.
thanks ♥ Report Review
Aw, I love these :)
James and Lily are so adorable Report Review
Now that you bring it up, you absolutely /have/ to write a one-shot about the cup-board gremlin!
anyway, Scorpius and Lucy always had lovely banter and whatnot, and I laughed at this.
They're so cute together, and hilarious.
-Brielle :)Author's Response: Haha, the cupboard gremlin definitely makes a brief reappearance in the sequel (referencing myself like a troo arteeste, cough). Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks so much for reviewing (and all your FS messages!) ♥ ♥ ♥ Report Review
I always loved Raven (sorry, Gwen) and now there's a whole one-shot all for her! This is just perfect, with the "hipster prime" and the "prime" thing that he kept bringing up and just the Scorpius/Lucy hints and everything in between < 3
keep writing things like this forever.
-Brielle, 10/10Author's Response: Awh hey again! Hipster references FTW. Had to stick one in somewhere...plus all the Scorpius/Lucy hints. I leave them lying around everywhere (I must confess a slight obsession with the ship). Thank you for another lovely review ♥ ♥ ♥ Report Review
Oh Louis, you're just an awful person.
Life must hate you /a lot/ to send you that lovely present of Aisha. ;) Report Review
AHH OMG THEY KISSED but then he ran away >.<
ah well, its progress ;) Report Review
Hi, Brielle (finally) here with your requested review!! I'm just going to do what you asked for:
general opinion: WOW. The fist paragraph alone hooked me on this story, and I can tell you that I'm going to continue reading. The way Victoire seems so hurt is enthralling, and makes the story look readable from the very beginning. Overall, nice start.
Victoire is already someone you want to read more about. Usually, characters take chapters of emptiness to really warm up and become lifelike, but you've done it in one chapter. Her hurt is so relateable, and the way she hides herself from the rest of the world because of something else that happened in her life is absolutely flawless. The way she takes something from her childhood (Ice Princess) and lives it out, simply because its expected, is fantastic, and the reasons behind it are strong. From what I can see so far, she'll have a lot of growing up to do, but for now, she's great.
For a first chapter, there's a plot. You can see that something is going to happen between Teddy and Victoire, based on the memo she saw (that he gets out soon) and their past together. In this story, I can see history repeating itself for them, and i can see them getting back together. Victoire's reaction to it was the real plot, though. Her growing as a character will easily add to the plot you have going.
I don;t have a lot to say about this. Honestly, it was easily read and enjoyed, and that's all that matters. :)
so keeep it up with this story, i already love it!
xx Brielle :) Report Review
Brielle back again with the too-long-for-you-have-to-wait-for review!!
So like I said in the last one, you've done a beautiful job with Victoire, and a perfect job on Teddy. I love them both, and the way they interact with each other is practically perfect.
When she says, "are you going to kiss me tonight?" made me smile, because it's just so... awkward, and true, that it's never written. And I /love/ stuff like that, you have no idea.
When Dom is helping her choose her clothes, and making Victoire take her to a game, its priceless. Its a fantastic depiction of what sisters are supposed to be, if only for a tidbit of the story.
I pretty much said everything I needed to last time, but there's nothing bad I can say about this chapter!
I absolutely love it.
xx Brielle :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) Report Review
Hi!! Brielle here with the requested review!
I'm going to focus on what you asked for :)
Okay, so I read this a while ago and forgot to review, so I'm glad you asked for this! Overall, this is a really good idea. I've always been one to adore the Weasley twins, so to read a love triangle about them is lovely. You're writing is impeccable, and the way it flows. I don't know if you meant for this to happen, but the fact that she's WEARING yellow kind of makes the story, because to me it seems symbolical to Fred. The fact that she's uncomfortable in the dress is symbolical to George, and that's who she ends up with.
For a story so short, the plot is the whole thing, and it moves along really well. I honestly don't have a lot to say on this, other than the fact that if someone's fiancee just died, they probably aren't going to be kissing his brother.
I think you should write a prequel to clear up confusion :)
Again, it's so lovely that I can barely say anything on it. You have Fred perfectly portrayed as a broken man. Dead, realizing that he's never going to come back, seeing the woman he loved with his brother. It's honestly the perfect set up for a story, and I'm surprised I've never seen anything like it before. You're original with your portrayals, something you don't often see in such a short one shot.
-Brielle :)Author's Response: Yeah, other people have told me about the unrealistic-ness of George kissing Charlotte...will clear that up. Ooh a prequel would work!
Thanks again for the helpful comments. Report Review
Hi! Brielle here with your requested review!
So, when I startd this I was really excited because I absolutely love Teddy/Victoire. And when I was done with this chapter, I was never happier with the pairing.
Dang girl, this is some fantastic bit of writing you have here. You have /no/ need to be worried about this! The way you depict Victoire is practically golden. She's so different than the other prim and proper Vic's I've read about that it makes me smile to think about her. She's quiet, a RAVENCLAW, and clumsy. She spends time pinning over Teddy. She's friends with FRED.
So as a character, Victiore is really well written, and I like her a lot. Her interactions with Fred are specifically brotherly, which is well done. Most stories that try this can't do it exactly right, but you seem to have it panged. The way they interact between each other is simply unchangeable, because it's just so. them. I've never read a story where they're friends, so this is now the (oh... i don't know) face? of my depiction of them. I'm currently obsessed.
BUT, moving onto Teddy and Victoire :)
The way she sees him is so... different. A lot of stories have them as siblings that fall in love, but I think the way you have them being friends (and just simply that) makes your flow that much better. This way, you never had to explain how they were close together and more specifically why, but rather just how adorable and awkward she was around him.
All in all, a fantastic plotline and a lovely first chapter! I'm excited for the next one, and I really wish it was longer!
-Brielle :)Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! This has totally made my day. :)
On the downside, this isn't longer - but on the upside, I have a one-shot in which he proposes to her that will hopefully be through the queue in the next couple days. :)
Thank you so so much! Report Review
Oh, one review until thirty? okay ;)
One thing I would have liked to see in this chapter was them being more /together/ (not in a romantic sense, but more of a friendish or /them/ sense) but I knew that wasn't going to happen, so it's alright. The way this chapter specifically is written is practically mind-blowing.
I'm extremely jealous of the way you can add in dialogue without it becoming tedious or irreverent. Somehow, you make the talking seem more like an extension of his thoughts than anything. It's absolutely incredible.
The way he pulls himself away from her is perfect, because we all knew it was going to have to happen eventually.
"And then you are gone and I am free of you."
This line is my favorite in this chapter. It's poetic, and it sums up pretty much the whole story to this point in eleven words, which is quite the feat.
I can almost feel the /pain/ in this line, speaking through Teddy's thoughts.
-Brielle :)Author's Response: Oh, only a month since you left this review? My apologies.
I really, really wanted to write them having a massive kiss sesh (well not /really/, but I understand what you mean about having them more together and /in love/) but I thought it would be better - seeing as the story is narrated from Teddy's point of view - if she still retained some sort of distance, that there wasn't /closeness/ between them.
The dialogue was a challenge. I didn't want it to overpower anything, especially the description, so it turned out a little short and simple and in some places, a little cliche (see the chapter where she dumps him). I wanted it to merge with the writing, and I'm glad you liked it.
Well, he says he is /free/ of her, but is he really? Victoire doesn't seem like the type of person who would /really/ let Teddy go. All her ex-boyfriends/lovers are probably still infatuated with her, and she could probably skip back to them and they would accept her in a heartbeat. I'm glad you like that line though - it was a bit of a summary, ending line, sorta thaaang.
Thanks for the lovely, lovely review! Report Review
Aw! I love James/Lily, and you have such lovely one-shots of them, and this is awesome!
I like short-story collections, no cliff-hangers ;) Report Review
Oh. My. Goodness.
I don't usually read stories like this (oh, the kind where Harry goes mad and Voldemort and whatever mayhem) but this is... ryfutihj amazing.
The way he transforms into the character that he becomes in the end, crazy, is perfect.
seriously, write more words like this.Author's Response: I don't normally WRITE stories like this, but for some reason once I got this idea I immediately knew I had to do it.
And your review has reinforced that -- thank you so much, I cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to me. ♥ Report Review
Ah, short chappie for a long wait, but overall not bad! I liked the carride part ;) Report Review
AN AVPM REFERENCE! < 3
And omg, it's over?!
But yay! at the same time! Louis/Patch for life :)
I'm uber excited for the sequel!Author's Response: I had to, It was the last chapter and I was like I haven't mentioned AVPM for this whole thing, it must be mentioned.
It ended rather abruptly, a bit like it began.
I am quite excited for the sequel, Arisa is so much fun to write!
Thank you for all your reviews. ♥ ♥ Report Review
Aw, that whole story was great! it was funny, and adorable and just generally believable :D
I like the part with James at the end the best though :)Author's Response: Thanks honey :D I'm really glad you think it's believable ^^
Thanks! I tried to get his character just right :D Thanks for reviewing!! Xx Report Review
Hi Nell :)
Aw, I love this! It's so different from what you've written, and Lonnie is already adorable.
She's like me, because of the whole, "in love with the concept of love" part.
-Brielle :DAuthor's Response: Hi Brielle!
It;s quite different. :) Glad you liked it!
Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
Aw, this chapter was awesome! I like that she's having twins. Twins are cool. Dessie/James = HAHAHA omg, that made me laugh for some reason.
and GOSH roxy's so dramatic. even though its funny :)Author's Response: why thanks! totally agreed, i've always wanted twins. it'd just be so awesome to have kids in the same grade and stuff. i loved the fact that dessie and james snogged. for some reason it just seemed right haha (: Report Review
I love the Freddie/Minnie interaction over the speaker in this chapter. It made me laugh. Report Review
Oh Saval, you're so awkward.
But in a good way. ;)
Al/Adele for ever and ever and ever and... you get it ;) Report Review
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