Reading Reviews From Member: x0xShattered_Dreamsx0x
  
51 Reviews Found

Review #1, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xThe Unavoidable: The Bait

23rd April 2012:
I can't believe the Dursleys tried to kidnap Gregory! So crazy but comical just the same. This story is really great. Please update soon!

~SD~

Author's Response: Thank you so much, it means a lot when readers take the time to review every chapter.

I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and I'll update ASAP! :)


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Review #2, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xThe Unavoidable: The Outing

23rd April 2012:
Love this, LOVE THIS! Rose is the spitting image of her mother, I believe and I'm looking forward to how she and Gregory will interact in the future. It's so cute how Gregory is excited about starting school. I find that I'm even a little excited for him!

~SD~

Author's Response: Hehe yep, bossy omniscient little Rosie, just like Hermione.

Aww, Greg feels so special being magical. You can't help but love him for it ;)

Thank you for the review!


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Review #3, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xThe Unavoidable: The Letter

23rd April 2012:
I think this chapter was my favorite of it. Over-reaction they name is Vernon Dursley but it was so perfectly canonical for him to react that way, J.K. Rowling couldn't have done it better herself. I'm so glad that Dudley and Katrina are excepting Gregory for who he is and can't wait to see what happens next!

~SD~

Author's Response: What! Haha I'm sat here grinning like a Cheshire cat. Thank you so much! You couldn't have given me a greater compliment.

Thank you very much for the review! :)


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Review #4, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xThe Unavoidable: Hide-and-Seek

23rd April 2012:
This was so funny, I couldn't help but giggle while reading it! The dialogue is great and perfectly age appropriate! Gregory is the spitting image of Dudley at that age and I do believe Katrina is rather like a young Petunia! Over all, another great chapter and i can't wait to see where you take this!

~SD~

Author's Response: Haha yay! Glad I could make you laugh :)

Yep, Greg is very similar to Dudley, and Katrina to Petunia. I hope they aren't carbon copies, though... I've tried to make them at least a little different.

Thank you! :)


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Review #5, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xThe Unavoidable: The Phone Call

23rd April 2012:
Hello there!
Awesome first chapter and I say that because stories about Dudley and his family are so rare around here that I would have love this even if it were only a drabble. There wasn't much characterization to go on about but I believe you opened up the story perfectly - straight forward and to the point. Can't wait to see where you take this! ^_^

~SD~

Author's Response: Hi! Haha, when I first started writing it I honestly hadn't seen a fic based on Dudley's family at all :') I've spotted a couple more since, though. He needs more loving :P

I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #6, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xCan't Fight the Moonlight: Promises

20th April 2012:
Again, I have to comment on the length and easiness to read. Quite a few times I find myself reading - or even writing- lengthy chapters with long, imposing paragraphs but this is great. You give just enough without giving too much and I envy you that.

On to the story. I liked the beginning and the peek into Dimitri's life. I imagine Zack and Sophia are his coven? Or nest? Or whatever you may call a group of vampires that live together? Or not exactly as I did read Zack call Dimitri 'son'. I suspect all will be cleared up in later chapters. I like the tormented characterization of Dimitri. It's like he's torn between two things - his duty and responsibility to his family and this whatever it is that is going with him and Hugo.

I also love, just like in the last chapter, the interaction between Hugo and Teddy. I think this is great and adds depth to their relationship now that they have this wolf thing in common. Great story so far, I can't wait to see what happens next!

~SD~

Author's Response: Coven, maybe, they say family - Zack, Sophia and Theo... Because, Zack says 'son'.

Thank you for the lovely review. :)

Sam.


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Review #7, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xCan't Fight the Moonlight: He Knows

20th April 2012:
Okay, so this chapter is definitely lengthier than the first but done with an effortless flair that made it readable and understandable while not being totally overwhelming - the pace is quick, the paragraphs are short, and there is a lot of dialogue which is good.

I enjoyed the banter between Hugo and Dimitri, it was cute and made me smile particularly the part about Hugo wanting to the throw the ice pack. The only think I didn't like was that you kept referring to Dimitri as 'he' until he revealed his name and that can sometimes come across as awkward and confusing to a reader particularly when there are two male characters and could therefore both be the 'he' in the scene. But that was the only issue I had and it didn't take away from the story.

My favorite part would be the scene from the Burrow toward the end, the little moment passing between Teddy and Hugo. I liked that quite a lot and can't wait to see how that unravels in the story as well as what will happen once it is revealed that Hugo was in fact bitten.

Thoroughly am enjoying this story so far and can't wait to see what will happen in the next chapters.

~SD~

Author's Response: Hugo/Dimitri banter is fun to write... :P

Yeah, I understand what you mean. It's because it's written from Hugo's POV and Hugo didn't know his name until he was told... :)

I love writing Teddy and Hugo's relationship. Teddy is the oldest in the family, whereas Hugo is the youngest, the baby, so he's like the big brother; very protective.

Thank you. :)

Sam.



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Review #8, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xCan't Fight the Moonlight: Man and Beast

20th April 2012:
Hi there, I stumbled onto this from the forums and I'm definitely glad I did. I really liked what you did with this first chapter - basically painted a picture without a whole bunch of unnecessary words and long winding run on sentences to add length. Most writers, I notice, are so hung up on length that they inadvertently take away from the story, come away from the task at hand so to speak and I'm glad you didn't feel the need to do that.

There wasn't much geared towards characterization as far as the introduction with the two main characters but what you have written in the beginning paragraphs we can see that Hugo, a virtual canonical OC is your average teenage boy - impatient with the boundaries set in place by his age.

The attack itself is well written despite it's limited words and this brings me back to my initial comments about not using pretty prose to draw it out for word count. I could see it all vividly in my head just as if I were watching it take place.

I can't wait to see where you take this story but you have me hooked so far. 9/10.

~SD~

Author's Response: Hi. Yeah, I notice that sometimes and I don' notice the length. I stop when I feel it's right to stop.

Thank you for the review. :)

Sam.


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Review #9, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xMaybe: Maybe

19th June 2011:
This was cute. Remus/Sirius is one my faves :)

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Review #10, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xWatching them grow: watching them grow

22nd May 2011:
Aww thank you for taking my challenge. I thought this was really cute and well written. Awesome job :D

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Review #11, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xThe Weird Sisters: Chapter 1

11th May 2011:
Interesting idea for a story. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. Mind the spacing between paragraphs though, it can get quite distracting!

Author's Response: Thank you!
and I know, my formatting is awful. It always looks fine in Word and then here it just falls apart.


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Review #12, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xPavilion: The Palace and its Problems

1st May 2011:
Well I like it. Sort of reminds me of my story, The Doppelganger. It's also AU and takes place in a palace setting more or less. Good start. I'm eager to see where you take this :D

Author's Response: I think I might have read that one, but I am not sure. I will look into it. I was watching lots of kingdom/princess movies in the last few weeks and that inspired me to write this.

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Review #13, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xIn Spite Of All The Danger: Chapter One

25th April 2011:
Hello :)
well, it was a decent start. You introduce your main character quite nicely and as the chapter is written in first person, I'm sure it was rather easy to go into her personality what with the inner dialog and all. It's cool to see how she perceives the Potter family as it's just how I'd imagine they would be at Hogwarts. And I like your creativity including a witch's magazine and new Quidditch team.

There were no spelling or grammar errors that jumped out at me so all's good on that front. The only thing I had a problem with was Natalie's response from Lily. It was rather confusing because I wasn't sure what Lily was actually responding too...maybe I missed something...

Other than that, it was a pretty good opening chapter and I'm interested in seeing where you take this :D

Author's Response: Thank you for your detailed review! ^_^
Yeah, Natalie's letter to Lily and her reply is pretty much self-explanatory in the later chapters.

thanks again!


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Review #14, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xClair de Lune: Leaving

3rd March 2011:
Well I liked this first chapter very much. I especially like that it's in the first person, which for me allows more versatility with the main character. I think you got Luna's character pretty well written and I'm very much looking forward to how this story will pan out. Please update soon :D

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Review #15, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xSympathy For The Devil: II: Swan

25th February 2011:
I actually like Cygnus. Granted he's not 'beautiful' in that cliched way a lot of writers write their vamps, he seems real. I especially like his long hair...:D

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Review #16, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xSympathy For The Devil: I: Bait

25th February 2011:
Nice introductory chapter. I like this so far and cannot wait to see what happens as the story unfolds :D

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Review #17, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xEverything's Changed: Returning To Hogwarts

30th January 2011:
Everyone seemed in character, especially Hermione and Draco. Great first chapter. I spotted one grammatical error in the fifth paragraph. It's not "Is Harry and Ron..." it's "Are Harry and Ron.." other than that, this was good! Can't wait to see what happens next :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #18, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xVital: Chapter 3

27th January 2011:
This is shaping up to be a great story so far. I really like Elena and how you write her and your writing is very good. Over all it was good read and though the chapters were a bit longer than I generally like to read, I enjoyed it just the same. Nice job and thank you for requesting :D

Author's Response: Yay! first review/feedback on chapter 3! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. Thanks for taking the time to review!

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Review #19, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xVital: Chapter 2

27th January 2011:
Another great chapter. I really do love your use of descriptions and the ease with which you seemed to use to describe this scene. I can tell the story is really starting to progress and can't wait to see where you take it.

Author's Response: thank you again. I'm glad the descriptions seem effortless. honestly, i spent so much time redoing them in this chapter though. I think I had to rewrite it three times maybe (mostly to fix the descriptions and the flow).

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Review #20, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xVital: Chapter 1

27th January 2011:
A good first chapter. It was a bit long but that takes nothing from your work of course. I like Elena and how you're introduce her in a way that she seems real and not just one of those prop characters that many writer's put up as a main character but give no insight as to who they are.

You're writing is really good and descriptive as well. Flow was great. I caught no spelling or grammatical errors and thats always good.

Great job so far :D

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

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Review #21, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xAnd Capers Ensue: Begin with a Bang

27th January 2011:
This was a rather funny first chapter. I like the interaction between Bea and Fred. I love Fred's characterization. He seems just like how the twins used to be bottled up into one, which I love. I can tell there is going to be lots more in store for these two pranksters as the story continues.

As for the length, I don't think it was too short. I'm not a stickler for length. I feel that chapters need to be as long as the writer needs for them to be and if this suited your story, it suits me just fine.

Overall, a pretty good opening scene. Thanks for requesting :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks :D Heh, I think Fred's got the mind of a prankster, but his heart just isn't in it as much as the twins or former wingman James ever were. It troubles him quite a bit though. There is definitely a lot in store for the both of them.

Glad to know the length's okay ;) Thank you!


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Review #22, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xSecond Hand Ticking: Second Hand Ticking

27th January 2011:
Wow. I don't know where I should start actually. This was a brilliant piece. Wonderfully written to the point where I could see and feel everything unraveling as it did; the pain, the pride, the anger, the love. Honestly, I have no words for how great this piece was.

I have no constructive criticism or any idea of what it is you want to improve - going by your areas of concern - because this piece was absolutely perfect.

Thank you for requesting :D

Author's Response: Wow! =) I'm... I'm truly flattered, and very honored by what you thought of this piece. =) Seriously, I can't thank you enough for your review.

Thank you so much for your wonderful (and timely) review! I am truly touched. =)


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Review #23, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xSiriusly Forbidden: Guy Talk

23rd January 2011:
Wow, really good start. I like the format which provides an easier readability. I like your characterizations of both James and Sirius. They seem on. Lily might have been a bit over dramatized, but that's my own personal preference and nothing to do with your writing. Over all, its a great first chapter and I can't wait to see where you take this story! :D

Author's Response: why thank you!! :) I was always a little worried about Sirius and James because i do deviate from the books. Lily, however, is walking drama - i don't know why, but that's just the way she appeared in my head. I'm really glad you like it so far!! :)

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Review #24, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xThe Transfer Student: Transfer, Hogwarts, Her

17th January 2011:
Okay, I though I could over you some CC because I picked up on a lot of things that could be tweaked in this first chapter. The first chapter of a story should give the reader insight into the characters and set up the stage of what the story's going to be about. So far what I got from this was that this girl, Anastasia has transferred to Hogwarts in third year, she may be the daughter of Voldemort (but I am confused to that bit), and eventually she's going to fall for Harry and Draco. Though quite honestly the only reason I was able to grasp all of that was because you put that in the summary.

As for the POV, the way you switch in an out like that really makes the chapter jumbled up and forces the readers to jump around to see whose speaking and who's talking when. I would suggest finding a smoother way to do that and if you're a member of the HPFF forums there's a tutorial for POVs switching in the Writer's Resources section you might want to take a look at.

And so, I'm not telling you this to be rude of to flame you or anything. I really do think this has to potential to be a good story. You might just want to neatened it up a little more. It'll be a surer way to attract more readers. :D

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Review #25, by x0xShattered_Dreamsx0xMy Twin: Time Turners

17th January 2011:
It's a pretty good start, though I would delete a bit between the paragraphs because it can get a little distracting. I think you got Fred and George's characterizations spot on as well as Hermione's though I really could tell since it was in the first person and mostly included dialog. Fabian and Gideon, though they never came up in any of the books in my opinion seem somewhat out of character in the sense that they are very much like Fred and George and that isn't at all how I envisioned them. Though it is your story and you can do whatever you want.

That being said, I can't wait to see where you take this :D

Author's Response: I think you liked it, so great! = )

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