Reading Reviews From Member: Roots in Water
  
443 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Roots in WaterSpeed Dating Entry: The Moonlit Nights: Another Day's Sun

18th February 2014:
Hello! I'm just here returning your lovely review! (Thanks once again!)

Wow- this certainly took a different turn than I was expecting! I mean, poor James, Sirius and Peter had the best of intentions... But it ruined Remus' relationship! And he couldn't possibly explain "his" actions away without giving himself or his friends away... Because, from what I've read about Leanne, she'd just report them for stealing the polyjuice potion. Gah! It's a no-win situation. I really don't like those.

In James' defence, though, he didn't do anything too bad. Nothing overly offensive or anything- just something that Leanne wasn't expecting, something that she definitely wasn't expecting. Leanne and Remus probably weren't at that stage in their relationship yet.

Oh well. At least this way there's less of a heartbreak for Remus because we know that she would've had to disappear during the first wizarding war anyway in order to make room for Tonks later. Plus, Remus probably wasn't at a point in his life yet where he could accept the werewolf aspect enough to be in a committed romantic relationship. We know that it was still a block in his relationship with Tonks, twenty-some-odd years later.

Overall, I liked this one-shot. I think that you did a good job with writing this within the time we were given and it certainly was a different take on the theme of Romance! Great work! :)

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Review #2, by Roots in WaterHerbology and Hearts (Speed dating entry): Herbology and Hearts

18th February 2014:
Hey! I'm just here returning your fantastic review! I'm so glad that I stopped by to read this- it's really good!

And ooo- now I'm really intrigued to read about Lorcan's date. Dropping a cake on a girl? Not very nice at all, no matter how unintentional. It's a very good thing Lysander stepped in where he did...

Anyway, I really liked this one-shot. You managed to pack quite a bit of story into a short one-shot: the lead-up to the asking, the asking itself, and then the date. Wow!

I particularly liked the lead-up to the asking. I know you used this as your summary quote, but I really, really liked it. "He liked the things that he noticed and he liked noticing new things" - it just has such a nice symmetry to it and it works so beautifully within the context of the story!

Also, I like his idea of a date much better than that of going to Madame Puddifoot's... I still don't understand the appeal of that place! Sitting beside the Lake is infinitely preferable.

As well, it was interesting to see a perspective where Lorcan was considered slightly outsider-ish within his family because he liked "normal" things. It's a different dynamic, a different perspective from the norm... And I quite enjoyed it.

I hope you don't mind, and I completely realize the time crunch this was written in, but I noticed a few things that are quite quick to fix. :) Firstly, the phrase "their parents were very close friends, Lilyís middle name was given to her after Lysanderís mother" could fit more smoothly into its sentence if you added "since/because" before "their [..]" and used "and" instead of a comma after "friends". As well, in the phrase "and the excitement of Valentineís Day in the air", "with" could be added after "and" to make the sentence flow more smoothly. With "Madame Pudifoots tea room", it should probably be "Pudifoot's" and with "Madame Pudifoots, if it were", it should be a semi-colon or period instead of a comma after "Pudifoot's".

All in all, I think that you did a fantastic job with this story, particularly within the context of Speed Dating. Good luck to you! :)

Author's Response: Hi Roots! Thanks for stopping by :D

I'm so glad you liked the story, I'm not entirely sure how I managed to stick within the word limit we were given, I thought I would have been over for sure. I'm so pleased that you picked out that line, it was one of my favourites :D

I'm with you on the whole Madam Puddifoot's thing, it sounds like a dreadful place to go for a date. Plimpie fishing at the lake is definitely better.

Lorcan's character actually came from my partner, her story focusses more on him and explains the cake thing (shameless hinting for you to read it!) but it was great to incorporate him even breifly into this. I liked the idea of having twins that weren't very similar in their nature.

Thank you for pointing those errors out, I'll be sure to fix them now that it's not one in the morning before the deadline:D

And thank you for this lovely review, I'm so pleased you liked the story!


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Review #3, by Roots in WaterIn Sickness And In Health: The Battle

29th September 2013:
Hey! It's Roots in Water here with your review!

Wow- you dove straight into the action! That definitely catches the attention of the reader and makes them interested and even eager to read on.

And the addition of the cliff hanger... Even if the reader wasn't hanging off the edge of their seat before, they sure would be now!

However, even though the speed of the chapter works within the context of a battle, it was a little too fast for the set-up of your story. Because of how quickly you wrote the interactions between the characters, it was difficult to connect with them right from the start. I would recommend including more description, both of the physical surroundings and the emotions of the characters. You're off to a good start with Hermione's thoughts on the battle, but more could always be added. :)

I liked how you've set up Malfoy's character in this story. Already there's the basis for his change in heart, for him to separate himself from his family and create an identity for himself on the Light side. And, of course, there's the basis for his future relationship with Hermione. :)

There were a few moments, though, where I felt that the characters acted a bit oddly. For instance, I was surprised when Draco used the word "buddy"- I would have thought that that was too much of a slang term for him to use. As well, Hermione switched emotions/trains of thought very quickly; the change in her persona from her interaction with Draco to her interaction with Ginny was a little startling.

However, overall I think that you are off to a good start with their characters. It'll definitely be interesting to see how they overcome their current dislike of each other... That will definitely be something that will have to develop over time.

As I mentioned before, you definitely did a great job with the level of suspense in this chapter! Cliff hangers are a great tool to use at the end of the first chapter, to ensure that your reader is hooked enough to continue reading. :D

I noticed from a few typos that you can easily fix. To begin, I think "Port Key" is actually "portkey". As well, in both phrases "Unless your blind" and "Your in the wrong crowd" 'your' should be 'you're'.

Overall, I think that you're off to a great start with this chapter! You definitely have an interesting story idea! Thanks for requesting a review and I hope that this review is helpful. :D

Author's Response: Hi hi! I am so so sorry that this response is so late! Life has been hectic for me, I am only two weeks away from final exams! Ahhh!

I did! I thought it would be the way to go as it is not focused on the war really, but more the aftermath. I'm glad it somewhat works!
I have had a few people explain to me the pace issue, and I have just gone about editing this piece quite immensely, so hopefully the new editing makes it better!

Oh good, Malfoy sounds believable. He is my hardest character to write, but I really like him and was hoping he would be seen with the conflicted feelings that you have picked up on. So mission accomplished!

Haha yeahh, buddy was a bit out there for him, it's one of the slang words I got rid of from him. Sounds like it was a good idea!

I have slowed down the interaction, and her interaction with Draco is not as forced or cut-up that it is hard to follow. Or at least I hope I have.

I have fixed up those typos that you picked up, thank you so much for spotting them out!

Again, thank you so much for reviewing!! I am glad that you enjoyed my first chapter. This review was definitely helpful :D

Grace


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Review #4, by Roots in WaterThe Joker and Her: Birthdays

19th September 2013:
Hello! It's Roots in Water here with your requested review! (Wow- it looks like I'm getting close to the end of this story!)

And the twist at the end of this chapter... What could it mean? Could her mother actually be alive? If so, I understand why she didn't inform Brienne before- Brienne wouldn't have appeared so grief-stricken, which would have ruined the secret. However, if she is alive, I bet Brienne wouldn't be happy... And that would be understandable too. The amount of suffering she went through after the "death" of her mother could not be wiped away by the realization that her mother is still alive, particularly not after she realizes that her mother purposefully hid the fact from her.

I really liked how you highlighted the cultural differences between Muggleborns and those from magical families. I hadn't really thought about the difference in the significance of the sixteenth birthday before, but it was nicely discussed and executed here. I wonder if Paisley will get a driver's license.

Overall, I definitely think that the chapter flowed well. The sentences worked together well and the changes in time and location weren't abrupt at all.

However, I think that the story you're telling in this chapter could be better explained to the reader if you were to include more description. At times it felt as though we were flying through sections, and though I understand that some of those sections were just there to indicate setting and the passing of time (such as the paragraphs about studying for exams), I wish that you had expanded on others. For example, I really liked Fred and George's idea about wearing pyjamas all day and wish I could have read more about their birthday celebrations (which were sure to have been hilarious).

The change in dynamics that occurred at the birthday celebration was very interesting. I felt certain that that would be the moment where they finally got together- his request to "not freak out" sealed the deal for me. However, he didn't kiss Brienne and instead broke down laughing... And the confusion this caused Brienne to feel ruptured their friendship. (Obviously, I do not have any George/Brienne sensor whatsoever because I thought that he would do something special for her birthday- write her a personal note, or something- but he didn't...).

I think that your characterization as a whole for this story was great. There weren't any problems that I could see and all of their reactions felt natural. I think that you've done a great job of making Brienne's world feel like a reality.

As for dialogue, I think that you do have enough, but there's room to add some more if you so choose. If you do choose, I would suggest adding it into the scenes you expand, because it will feel most natural that way.

Question: why do the students hover near Fred and George during breakfast on their birthday? What are they waiting for/why are they drawn there? I'm just a little bit confused.

All in all, I think that you've done a great job with this chapter. The forward plot movement is fantastic (the mystery of the letter! the shattering between George and Brienne!)and your characterization is great too. Thank you for requesting a review and I hope that I've responded to all of your concerns! :D

Author's Response: Hi! What a lovely long review to find on a Friday morning xD

I think you're right about expanding upon Fred and George's birthday a little. Birthdays were so little explored in the original books so I'd like to have them detailed in some way xD The reason people were gratitating towards them was because they wanted the break from studying and wanted to be cheered up by the twins' birthday excitement xD

I'm glad you think it flows well, I didn't want it to feel like it was rushed in any way.

George is so awkward, I doubt he would have thought to do anything that personal for Brienne xD Especially the debacle on his own birthday.

Thank you for the lovely review!


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Review #5, by Roots in WaterPost Scriptum: Making Good, Breaking Bad

11th September 2013:
Hello! I'm finally here to resume our long-term review swap. I hope you still have time for this, if not, I definitely understand. I'm sorry for my several-months-long absence- real life became crazy and I don't know quite where the time went.

This was another really well done chapter. One of the things I find really great about this story is your ability to switch tones between Lily's sections and Regulus'- because of course Regulus hangs around "darker" people.

I really liked how you set up this chapter. The description in the beginning of this chapter worked really well to set the stage as well as introduce the characters. Rosier's dialogue immediately reminded us about who we are watching/reading about.

Rosier's superior attitude was very well written. I particularly liked how you only showed it through his actions and his words, in how he stated that the bartender wouldn't be any trouble and how everyone looked to him to ask about and understand the ways of the Death Eaters.

Also, I liked how Rosier told Regulus that he only bought drinks for girls. It fit in perfectly with his characterization, especially since he was the one who made Regulus buy that drink in the first place, instead of his preferred drink.

The switch into Lily's section was very well done as well. It was immediately apparent that we were with a different class of people. The interaction between Severus and Lily was also well written. I particularly liked Lily's line about how she's no one's Lily, because, of course, she isn't. No one should treat her as a prize, or put her on a pedestal.

I also liked how there was no definite resolution. There were steps towards a potential healing, a potential mend of the break, yes, but there was nothing resolved in their interaction. This is great because their situation is now far more complicated than it was before, and Severus needs to apologize deeply and very well in order for them to move past the insult he called Lily. If Severus had accomplished that in this one interaction, it might have seemed too easy, and thus not fit in with the complexities of this story.

I am very curious about the ending of the chapter. It's probably due to the length of time since I last read this story, but the description of Sirius' eyes was quite interesting. I can't remember if something occurred to cause Sirius to look that way... Gah- there probably was. A reminder, please? Anyway, the description, and Regulus' subsequent observation, was a great way to further link the two character groups as well as show Regulus' concern for his brother.

All in all, I think that you did a fantastic job with this chapter and I do hope that we can continue with our exchange. Great work! :D

Author's Response: Hi Claire! I'm glad to hear from you, since I haven't seen you around for quite a while. I'll admit that I'm really very busy this semester, and while I'll try to maintain the swap, reviews will probably be a little more spread out than they were over the summer. If you'd prefer not to continue, though, that's fine with me. Just let me know.

It's great that you liked the beginning of this chapter and the emphasis on Rosier as a leader. It's interesting for me to think about the Death Eater hierarchy, since it seems very "dog eat dog" compared to the way the Order is structured. Rosier is king among these younger students, but surely he would cower before someone like Dolohov, and they would both be meek before Voldemort.

Naturally Lily would hope for a simple solution, but as you said there's a lot of carnage between her and Severus and a quick fix wouldn't be realistic (or very interesting, I think). Both of them are unwilling to commit fully to the reconciliation in their own separate ways.

Well, Sirius's expression was just a reminder that he doesn't want to reconcile with Regulus or trust him the way Regulus wishes he would. There's a definite separation between them, one that the others present there don't really understand.

Thanks so much for another awesome review!

-Amanda


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Review #6, by Roots in WaterPurple: Purple

11th September 2013:
Hello! It's Roots in Water here with your (much-delayed) review! I'm so sorry that it's taken me this long to actually write it- real life became kinda crazy for a little while and I never seemed to have enough time to actually sit down and write a review.

However, I am here now, should you still wish to read my comments. :)

Was this story worth the risk? Yes, I would definitely say that it was. I think that you did a really good job with this story. You could definitely see the passion Sirius had for Marlene. Moreover, you didn't overdo the passion. He's a male, typically considered the less sentimental/sappy gender , but he's in a position where he would have hours to ruminate on his feelings and his feelings alone. Therefore, his "sappiness" or inclination to talk about his feelings isn't odd, but rather fitting.

One thing that I did find a little odd was how much of his memories were happy. From what I remember from the books, Azkaban strips you of the ability to remember happy memories... And if Sirius transformed into a dog, I doubt that he would be able to remember as much of his life with Marlene as he did (but that's just my opinion. perhaps dogs have better interpretive skills than I give them credit for). Anyway, I thought that this would have a more melancholy slant.

(However, I suppose that you could argue that since Marlene died, all of his memories of her are tainted with sadness... Would that make the memories sad enough?)

I think that you did a good job with Sirius' characterization. Obviously, Sirius would not be very jokey in Azkaban... However, you did manage to include memories of past accidents and pranks, which kept in with the younger Sirius that we know, and there was a strength in his narration that definitely seemed in character.

Even though I know that the Remus/Sirius pairing was only mentioned in passing in this story, I still really did like the ease with which you wrote about Sirius' bisexuality.

Another thing that I think you did well here was the development of their relationship. It seemed realistic (no "all of sudden, from the first moment I met you, I knew you were the love of my life"), and the growth from friendship into romance is one of my favourite types of relationships.

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this one-shot. It definitely didn't show that this is something you consider to be outside of your comfort zone! Thanks for requesting a review and once again I am so sorry for the delay in its delivery.

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Review #7, by Roots in WaterOther Side of Glass: to grieve

11th September 2013:
Hello! This is Roots in Water here with your (much-delayed) review! I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to respond to your request. I can only say that real life has been a bit crazy...

Anyway, I'm here now. Hopefully you don't mind and would still like for me to review this chapter.

This chapter was certainly interesting. I particularly found George's substance abuse fascinating. I could definitely picture him trying to escape from reality in that manner, especially since actually playing a practical joke would be going too far. George was trying to put Fred's death out of his mind, to keep Fred alive for as long as possible, and he couldn't do that without the powder.

Your description of George under the influence was great. The sharpening of the senses was easy to see and experience along with him.

Also, I liked the addition of the Polyjuice Potion. It was an interesting twist on the idea of trying to keep a deceased loved one alive- he was trying to be Fred.

All throughout the funeral I was cringing, because I knew that George would do something to disrupt it. For a while I thought that he would just pee where he was sitting... I'm not sure that it's any better that he actually got up on stage. I just felt so bad for him, and for everyone watching him, when he tried to say that Fred was still alive- couldn't you see that he was right there? It was a very difficult situation and I think that you did a great job of portraying the reactions of everyone involved.

Your description about how they shared everything in their lives, about how their room was not divided but rather one large combination of their things, was really touching and a great insight into their lives. Furthermore, it also provided an explanation or insight as to how George was feeling before and during Fred's funeral- he was literally attending the funeral for half of himself.

The second paragraph gave me pause for a moment. I was confused by the reference to flowers- I hadn't been expecting them, nor the charmed colours of the ground. However, after I realized that they were funeral customs, all was fine.

George's reaction to Fred's tombstone was quite interesting to read because it showed an anger that might have been hidden... Or perhaps not anger so much as frustration at being separated from each other. Either way, the scene provided insight into George's mind through his actions, not through telling- which is something that you are very good at doing.

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter. Although there were a few parts that I had to reread in order to be able to understand them (such as the more fragmented sections of the text), I understand that they were put there to enhance the reader's understanding of the fragility of George's mindset. As well, I don't think that you were overly melodramatic because of the significance of the main event of this chapter. George was losing someone that he still doesn't want to admit is dead. He is in denial, his mind is all confused. Everything in this chapter added to this understanding. Thank you for requesting a review and (once again) I am so sorry that it took me so long to write it!

Author's Response: Roots! Oh my goodness, what a review! And I have completely forgotten that I even made this request :O But thank you so, so much for such a detailed, insightful, and thorough review. It has been quite some time since I updated this story, and I've actually put it on hiatus while I figure things out - where I'd like to take this story and how it will turn out etc.

I know this wasn't a very comfortable read for many people; I certainly felt very uncomfortable writing it, and I do intend it to be this way. The depths of George's grief is supposed to be quite personal, especially since he's a Weasley twin, and going by the books, the twins are almost never shown as being intensely unhappy. It got to a point that I began to feel like an intruder in my own fic, witnessing George's frame of mind. The funeral bit was just...incredibly painful to write. :(

Yeah, I'm aware that some parts aren't as clear as the others, and there might be a few details which confuse readers; I can't remember much of it now, since I wrote this chapter last year, but I'll definitely be revising it once I get this story up and going again. The reference to the flowers in the early paragraph is meant to be tied to a later reference (in the last section, post-funeral, there are big flashy flowers on Fred's grave left by Ginny). That was one of those little details I thought I might slip in, since the twins were always so flamboyant (with their maroon robes clashing with their red hair and all etc.). Thanks for your great and very valuable feedback on this, Roots.

And yeah, I generally prefer to do a whole lot of showing rather than telling, even if it does mean that readers have to think a little and make their own assumptions/conclusiosn from whatever the narrative presents to them. I'm so glad you picked up on this :D

Thank you so, so much once again for this brilliant review, Roots! It has been extremely useful, and no worries about the time! I'm just so grateful and glad that you stopped by!

-teh


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Review #8, by Roots in WaterBeneath: tears and rain

18th July 2013:
Hello there!

I have a question I meant to ask you in the last review (oops!): how does Rainne obtain her ciggarettes (spelling is a little wonky right now)? They're a Muggle item and she spends most of her time at Hogwarts... I can't imagine that there's a convenient place to purchase them.

Anyway, I, once again, really enjoyed this chapter. Rainne's thought process is absolutely fascinating (though it's also quite tragic). I really hope that someone truly tries to help her soon... Because of the time jumps it seems like she's become closer with more people and that they should be close enough to want to help her. But perhaps they can't see it just yet- she's doing a good job of hiding it and it's not like you look at people, expecting them to be hurting themself.

I did notice, though, that in the first section you switched from Rainne's perspective to Lily's quite a bit. I found that a little confusing, as "she" can refer to either one of them. :P I would suggest trying to stick to only one perspective per section. :)

The section in the room, with the memories of Rainne's mother, was really well done. You could definitely see both Rainne's sorrow and the love she has for her mother.

All in all, I think that this was another well done chapter. Great work! :D

Author's Response: she buys them in the bunch, i suppose. and being in the castle makes it a bit difficult to find a smoke break so she doesn't go through them very quickly :)
though rainne's sixth year will be a bit of a roller coaster, it's going to get better, that i can promise you :) she will slowly allow more people to enter her life and care for her.
drat, i was hoping that would work. the reason i'm writing in third person is so that i can show how everyone is thinking -- i'll definitely work on that.
thanks so much for all the reviews, i'm excited to see what you think of the next few chapters!


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Review #9, by Roots in WaterBeneath: teen idle

18th July 2013:
Hello there!

So- a time jump! That's probably for the best. Not only does it allow us to see the progression in Rainne's character, but also in James and Lily's relationship. It would be unlikely that their situations would change drastically over a few days and this allows us to look in on more significant moments- or simply moments that show the changes in their sitautions- as they progress over long periods of time.

Rainne's friendship with Ben is very interesting and I like how carefully you're navigating it. It would be impossible for Rainne to have any sort of bond without her questioning it, at least not at the stage in her life she's at. Hopefully, she can evenutally reach that moment.

The scene in the bedroom was also very interesting. I liked how you wrote Rainne's anxiety- it fits with Rainne's mindset at the moment.

James and Lily's relationship still isn't very good, I see... But perhaps it will become better once Lily gains a more active role in Rainne's life (I'm still holding on to my prediction from the first chapter).

I do have one question, though. "Carmen Pierson, her new best friend" - why is Carmen her new best friend? Her was her old one? I'd gotten the impression that they'd been friends for a long time... But then again, I suppose that friends is not the same thing as best friends.

All in all, I think that you're continuing to do a great job and I'm very interested to read the next chapter. Great work! :D

Author's Response: yes, i thought it would be best to skip a month or so, or it would get too slow, i think. rainne is obviously still very apprehensive due to all her insecurities, but her friends will help her through it :)
as for lily and carmen, lily's old best friend was snape up until the incident in fifth year where he called her a mudblood. then she severed (haha, get it, severed - severus) ties with him and found someone else.
once i get ta i'll edit that to make it more clear :)
thanks again!


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Review #10, by Roots in WaterBeneath: how can i

18th July 2013:
Hello there.

Wow. What a chapter. As I said before, I can't even imagine what Rainne is going through but I have a lot of sympathy for her. Her problems seem very real and you're not over-dramaticizing them. They're simply a part of who she is at the moment.

What's really amazing is the balancing act you're doing between Rainne and Lily. While I could definitely understand why Rainne is uncomfortable around Lily (Lily- who she compares herself to; Lily- the one she thinks is beautiful, perfect), I can also understand why Lily feels hurt that Rainne is uncomfortable around her. It always hurts when you think that someone doesn't like you, particularly when you're trying to be their friend... But Rainne just needs time, and effort, to become more comfortable around people actually paying attention to her.

Lily's reaction to realizing that she'd forgotten about Rainne being her roommate was very similar to how I think I would feel. After all, it's horrible to realize that you've forgotten about someone so completley... And then to have that person be someone who's so vulnerable herself...

I also think that you did a good job with the relationship between Lily and James in this chapter. They weren't being overly dramatic, which I hate; they weren't yelling or fighting or basically just drawing attention to themselves. Instead, they had quieter interactions that still showed a lot about how they feel about each other.

All in all, I think that you did another good job with this story and I look forward to reading more. Great work! :D

Author's Response: i am running out of ways to say thank you. i really appreciate you taking the time to leave me such detailed reviews, it means so much to me that you spend time thinking about my writing.
thank you so much!


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Review #11, by Roots in WaterBeneath: summer mood

18th July 2013:
Hello there!

Hmm... That's an interesting choice you've made, to replace Peter with another character. Why did you do it? I understand that he made an absolutely awful choice in the books... But maybe he could have just not done that action here? :P I'm just curious.

Oooh- this is interesting. The interaction between James and Lily revealed a lot about their characters and where they are at this point in their relationship- well done! While Lily is still mostly annoyed by him, she's on good enough terms with him to actually attend a pool party he throws and then seek out his help in including Rainne. Something tells me that helping Rainne, and becoming her friend, will help Lily to see another side of James. :)

Rainne's reaction to the party seems very in character for her, from what we know of her. Hopefully nothing happens that makes her truly regret coming to the pool party... But what I'm really curious about is why she attended in the first place. What pushed her to actually go up to James' house and knock on the door?

I noticed two typos as I was reading that I thought I'd point out quickly. The first: with the phrase "Her and is", "and" should probably be "hand". The second: the phrase "the will" seems to be missing missing "party". :)

All in all, I think that you did another great job with this story. Nothing has moved along too quickly and I feel very curious to see how Rainne's relationships develop with everyone. Great work! :D

Author's Response: hmmm you'll see in chapters ahead why ben has replace peter ;) i'm sure you've already left a review about it!
i think rainne forced herself to go to the party because she doesn't want to be an outcast anymore. she is so lonely that, even though it's minimal, she's putting as much effort as she can into getting out into the world of friends and such.
ashhgasldk i know i have typos, i uploaded this chapter in a bit of a hurry. once i get trusted author i plan on going through and fixing everything. thanks for pointing them out though!
and thanks again for your reviews!


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Review #12, by Roots in WaterBeneath: numb

18th July 2013:
Hello there!

Wow- I think that this was a really well-done first chapter. The short sentences really made everything seem to have more of an impact and they did a great job of expressing the bleakness that Rainne is feeling.

I can't imagine how Raine is feeling, or what she is feeling, but you've given us some clues in this chapter as to why she is feeling so depressed. It makes sense that you haven't outright stated anything. After all, Rainne wouldn't have a reason to reveal that just yet. She's closed off, private. But I've got the sense, now, that her parents were recently killed (not too recently, mind you, but within the past year or so) and that she doesn't really have any friends, or anyone she connects with.

I found it odd that Lily doesn't remember a girl she's slept beside for however many years, but I guess it's possible, especially if Rainne is as silent and "wall-flower-ish" as she seems to be. At least Lily is trying to make an effort now - and I really wonder if Rainne will go to the party. I don't think that it'd be in her character at the moment... But maybe she'll go to punish herself, to make herself feel uncomfortable. I don't know. Or maybe her grandfather will push for her to go, so that she can socialize. Hmmm...

The opening scene with the doctor was also interesting because it definitely showed Rainne's state of mind very well. The last few lines were very dramatic - a lashing out of sorts at the doctor.

All in all, I think that you did a very good job with the first chapter in this story. I'm looking forward to reading the second chapter. Great work! :D

Author's Response: wow, thanks so much for this long review! and for all the others you've left in the following chapters!
i'm really glad you like the story :)
i know it's a bit of a stretch that lily wouldn't remember rainne, but she really doesn't talk at all, it's too much for her. that's going to change though :)


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Review #13, by Roots in WaterThe Pineapple Conspiracy: Chapter 1

17th July 2013:
Hey there!

Wow- this certainly sounds like a very interesting beginning! "The Pineapple Conspiracy"... What an interesting name. I'm very curious to learn more about the significance of the pineapple. Of course it's what they keep muttering about... But there must be something deeper, right? :)

I really enjoyed the short, scattered scenes in this chapter. It did a great job of setting up numerous plot lines and characters. I'm particularly intrigued by the interaction between Scorpius and Dominique. His comments definitely seemed to hit a nerve with her and the dynamic between her and her sister sounds very interesting.

I'm already feeling sympathetic for Dominique, even though I suppose her life must be better than Scorpius portrayed it. Scorpius was, after all, deliberately trying to be nasty and disheartening.

The opening scene was very interesting as well. A Wizarding world where everyone had achieved equality is very interesting and very amazing- if true equality has actually been achieved. His murder seems to speak otherwise, though, as do the attacks on the Muggles.

However, perhaps the wizards and witches are attacking Muggles because they can no longer attack each other (at least not based on blood)?

Oh my gosh. You're certainly setting this up to be an interesting story and I'm very interested in reading on. You did a fabulous job with this opening chapter. Great work! :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I just re-read this story so I could refresh my memory, and I'm glad you liked the scattered scenes because there are a lot of characters involved, and I had planned a lot of little arcs. As far as Dominique's characterization is concerned, I needed an excuse to make her a little bit gritty (otherwise the things I had planned for her would seem ridiculously ooc) and I couldn't pass up using Victoire to make her that way. Scorpius is being a jerk, though I do think he makes a few valid points about why Dominique acts the way she does.

An attempt at true equality is going to be tough to portray, but I'm glad you think the story is interesting so far! Thanks again for the review!


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Review #14, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: The Disappearing Man

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

Another interesting chapter. So now Worthing has skipped out on them, eh? At least she still has one house to camp outside of, even though it could be abandonned as well...

I will say this, Rose manages to fill her days in very unique ways. Her job certainly doesn't fill in all of her hours, leaving her with plenty of time to go and visit her extended family. :P It must be nice to have such flexible work hours (although perhaps Rose would like for there to be more hours to work, since that would mean that she actually had a solid lead).

Her latest pick-up was interesting. "Can you get me a Day-Dreaming Charm, then?" Oh jeez. At least it was a nice, quiet and easy pick-up. And even though the bounty was small, Rose certainly needs it because she's not really getting anywhere with Butrus at the moment.

Scorpius' reaction to her change in wardrobe wasn't as big as I'd had hoped, but it was still quite appropriate. It's good that he prefers her wearing her pink unicorn shirts. :)

The last scene of the chapter was also a nice read. The interaction between Rose and her two cousins was nice and the familiarity between them was quite obvious.

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this chapter and I definitely enjoyed reading it. Good work! :D

Author's Response: She is only mostly employed, isn't she? A lot of the time she's got nothing to do. If she took bigger bounties, she might be busier. And have more money. But Dino takes care of those. Having more working hours, more leads, and more bounties would sound good to Rose, but she's rather lazy, so she's probably happier being less busy.

Ah, Annabelle Cleary, she's one of the more inept criminals, typical of Rose's usual bounties. Quick pick-ups that aren't worth Dino's time (in his opinion) but that someone has to take in. At least they're usually easy to deal with!

Scorpius likes her being herself, even if that means pink unicorn t-shirts. ;)

Thank you very much! I hope you get a chance to continue the story and let me know what you think!


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Review #15, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: Like a Law or Something

17th July 2013:
Hello there! It's me again! :)

Wow- what a change. You know, I hadn't ever really pictured Rose's wardrobe before, but now that I have the picture is quite funny. A Bounty Hunter, trying to catch people while wearing a shirt with a pink unicorn? I thought most people grew out of the phase of thinking that those sorts of shirts were the perfect thing to wear. But to each their own, eh?

Unfortunately, her new wardrobe is such a change! I hope Rose is comfortable wearing all of that leather. I also hope that you'll show us Scorpius' reaction to her change in wardrobe. I think it'll be interesting.

Mrs Kochel, though she seems gruff and unbending, is understandable. After all, she probably depends somewhat on their rent for her own provisions and having rent come in late is never good. At least she's willing to give them another chance.

It's too bad that she can't give Rose a description of the guy who came to see her (and I can't imagine that guy wanted anything good). However, it does fit in with what I know of Mrs Kochel. She doesn't really care who it was and so she didn't take any care to remember any details of the meeting. :P

I really liked the one line you wrote about how Rose had to deal with her mother's problems because she gave birth to her. It was very funny.

Once again, I really like your description and the personalities you have given your characters. You've done a good job of giving such a wide cast individual and recognizable personalities.

All in all, I think that you're doing a great job with this story. I look forward to reading on! Great work! :D

Author's Response: Her wardrobe is really ridiculous. But it suits her. She's flighty. Ever heard of Lisa Frank? Not sure if you're old enough to remember Lisa Frank, but google her - that's pretty much how I picture Rose's wardrobe. Pink and cartoony and with glitter. She never grew out of it, since she's still a bit childish at times. Switching to dressing in Molly's clothes with black leather and industrial effects is a huge change. It's just not her.

Mrs. Kochel is a bit mean, but she's not wrong - they owe her a bunch of rent and have pretty much never paid on time. They're lucky she's been as lenient as she has. Rose is a fast talker, so she gets a second chance.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you like the characterizations, I really loved writing this story and fell in love with Rose and Scorpius while doing so. Had to give them a sequel, and then a few more ;) Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #16, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: The Good One

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

Oh no! Evicted? I suppose it was inevitable... But they were getting the money! It's not like they aren't working... They just aren't working jobs that give them very much money.

Oh Ron. Once again I really love the little sentences you include that seem to perfectly describe the character/a relationship. The little phrase about Ron seeming to be unable to withhold the truth from his wife as well as the line about their individual determination really spoke a lot about their personalities and their relationship.

To clarifiy this: I absolutely love the way you're portraying the relationship between Ron and Hermione. It seems very natural and very true to their characers.

Poor Scorpius. It's good that Rose noticed the change, but I hope that he's soon allowed to go back to painting (and that he actually starts getting paid for it).

And aha! I knew that Worthing was lying! I knew it! If only Rose can actually do something now... Hopefully she soon finds someone for backup or takes a stupid risk and just confronts them... I really want her to get somewhere with the case! I want her to find Butrus and bring him in and crush whatever Dark thing he's got himself involved in.

Ah well. These things take time... Even if they don't really have the time to spare.

All in all, I think that this was another good chapter and I'm looking forward to reading the next one! Good work! :D

Author's Response: Sadly, it was inevitable. Two months behind on the rent when they're chronically late, it was bound to happen eventually.

Ron feeling compelled to tell his wife the truth is one of my favorite bits of this story. I'm glad you liked it ;) Rose finds it incomprehensible, but I feel like that's Ron and Hermione - he'll be all "No" and then immediately come clean. I love writing Ron and Hermione in these stories. They're one of my favorite couples ever.

Scorpius's stress levels are definitely up, particularly with the eviction. Poor guy. Rose will get him back home again soon.

Rose take a stupid risk? Ehehehe... Yep excellent call there. Definitely Rose as I write her. Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #17, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: Bounty Hunter: 1, Aurors: 0

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

Hmm... I have a suspicion that Louis will end up being helpful somehow. After all, as Rose said, he seems to be involved in a lot of those shadier things and he could have heard something while he was frequenting trouble.

But sheesh, Louis. You know it's bad when it's what your family expects of you. I did find it funny, though, when Rose and Lily started discussing sunglasses/glasses. They can be so easily distracted. :P

Though poor Louis- what an awkward situation, to have to consider how to get home whilst naked. You'd think that he'd have the spell on how to conjure/transfigure clothes mastered by this point in his life.

I do feel a little sorry for Rose, though. Nothing seems to be going her way (who on earth is she going to turn to now for back-up?) and her family is continually turning up underfoot. Though, to be fair, she's searching them out a lot of the time too.

And, pointed remark to Dino: you can Apparate without getting your license. Getting your license just means that you're able to Apparate legally. Geez. Stop being snarky to Rose.

As well, I noticed one small thing as I was reading. The phrase "now Scorpius" would sound better as "now that", I think (but feel free to ignore me, of course).

All in all, I think that you're doing a great job with this story and I'm very intrigued to see just what Butrus (and thus Rose) has gotten himself into. Good work! :D

Author's Response: Louis is a disgrace. ehehehe. He's just terrible, isn't he? No taste in women at all. Always good for a laugh, though. Rose is easily distracted, and Lily's not much better. At least they managed some sort of clothes for him! Could've been worse. He really ought to master the conjuring trousers spell, shouldn't he? ;)

Rose is definitely having a time of it. Things will start looking up. You're right about the license ;) Dino just likes to make fun of Rose's ineptness sometimes. He does bet on her to catch her skip in the sequel though, so he actually does have some confidence in her.

I'll have to look over that line. It's possible I was trying for a more British-style phrasing, I did make an attempt at that for this story. Less so than I did with Unsinkable, since it's a bit more tongue in cheek.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #18, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: Temporarily Deaf and Blind

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

Haha- oh Harry. At least he hasn't turned into such a stickler for Ministry rules that he won't allow Ron to sneak files for his daughter. :P

I liked the discussion about Hermione in this chapter. It really shows that the friendship between the three of them hasn't changed much over the years. Hermione is still the one looking for social justice and doesn't care as much about the specifics of the suffering of those who benefit from the system. Harry and Ron, who can see their points, don't try to argue with her too much. After all, she kind of just steam rolls over them. :P

Harry and Ron weren't all that helpful, aside from the smuggling of the files. I guess they can't always have brilliant insights, but they just suggested things that Rose had already done (good for you, Rose, doing the same things that Aurors would suggest you do). But then again Rose really doesn't have much to work on and they aren't working on the case themselves. :P

I didn't like Worthing in this chapter. He seemed too nice, too agreeable... I have a feeling he's still involved and was just trying (and succeeding) in pacifying Rose's suspicions.

I wonder how Rose is going to go about the case now. Hopefully the files will have something helpful... Else all she can really do is stakeout the brother's house.

All in all, this was another good chapter full of solid story-telling. I'm on to the next one now! :D

Author's Response: Heh. Harry would probably sneak files to his own child if one of his were a bounty hunter or P.I. And of course he lets Ron gets away with it, they've been BFFs for about forty years at this point. ;) And brothers-in-law!

Hermione could give two craps if someone points out those she sees as oppressors are being injured by her social crusades. lol... Harry and Ron sit back and let her do her thing, because really, there's not much other choice. Ron still argues with her, but he knows it won't stop her. She does steamroll over them, doesn't she?

They weren't much help, other than giving Rose confidence in herself. And unauthorized files. Those will give her some clues, though. She really has very little to go on.

Worthing is suspiciously kind, isn't he? ;)

Thank you for reviewing! I really appreciate it.


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Review #19, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: You Can't Bring a Baby on a Stakeout!

17th July 2013:
Hello there! Hopefully you aren't getting sick of the reviews. :P

I enjoyed this chapter, especially because Rose seems to finally be getting somewhere with Butrus' skip (although I'm not sure I'm following her thought process one hundred percent. But I am sure that I'll catch up at some point :P).

It was interesting to see Rose and Scorpius interact with Scorpius' parents. That scene reminded me of the scenes in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" where Ian's parents were so silent during their dinners together... Those silences and strained conversations seem so uncomfortable! I would have thought that Draco would have changed since the war- would have become warmer, less rigid - since he had a near death experience and would have had to live in a world where Voldemort lost and his old views were very outdated, but I suppose it wasn't to be. It's kind of sad, actually, that Scorpius prefers Rose's family, whose older generation still doesn't accept him one hundred percent.

Rose's interaction with Victoire was great, as per usual. My favourite part of that scene was when Victoire said "Bugger off, my love" in a very happy and loving tone. The difference between the tone and the actual words struck a very funny comparison to me. :)

Anyway, I do hope that Rose finds more concrete detail on Butrus soon. Her tale about how Angelo found someone two years after they disappeared off the grid was amusing, but Rose doesn't have that sort of time. :(

All in all, I think that this was a very enjoyable chapter and I am eager to see Rose's progress on the case. One thing I particularly enjoy is how you're weaving the rest of Rose's life into the story of her catching Butrus. Great work! :D

Author's Response: Nope, not getting sick of them at all! I love reading reviews, and yours are really making me smile.

I'm not sure Rose always follows her own thought process 100 percent. Sometimes she leaps merrily to conclusions. :p

Visits to the Malfoys are sort of the polar opposite of visits to the Weasleys. I can't see Draco changing much - he did change enough that he still has a relationship with the son who was a Hufflepuff, has zero interest in any of the things Draco values, and ran off with a half-blood Weasley girl. So I suppose that is a rather big change for someone like Draco, but he's not going to morph into a warm and fuzzy guy really. At least not in my stories! Scorpius just doesn't fit in with his family, and he fits much better with Rose and her cousins. He'll get along better with her parents and the older Weasleys as time goes by.

Victoire talking to her kids is always fun to write ;) The high-pitched happy mum voice cracks me up, and I'm glad you liked that line since it's one of my favorites in this story. And it's our introduction to Johnny Lupin!

Rose definitely doesn't have two years to waste. She'll catch him in the end, but you'll have to keep reading to see what happens ;) Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #20, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: Gainfully Employed

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

I really love the interactions you write between Rose and the rest of her family. The last scene was particularly enjoyable- I love the idea of Arthur cracking up because Scorpius now works in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office. Didn't Arthur once work there himself? Perhaps this example of how different Scorpius is from his family will help to further soften Rose's family's reactions to him. *crosses fingers*

The incident in the shop with George was also great. I really liked how he just gave them to her free of charge - as Rose said, her family can really be there for her when she needs it. After all, what's a few galleons compared with Rose's safety on dangerous cases?

I think that you're doing a fantastic job with your characterization as well as your description. Everything flows so smoothly and the characters really are dynamic.

I'm also really happy that Rose has finally found a lead - Fred certainly had a good idea about looking through his belongings (how come Rose didn't think of that earlier? :P ). Perhaps she can finally move along with the case and come closer to actually catching the man (although that will bring her in closer to the danger of whatever it is that Butrus is involved in).

All in all I think that you did a great job with this chapter. I really enjoyed reading it and will now proceed to the next one! :D

Author's Response: Hiya!

I love writing Weasley family scenes. Arthur did indeed used to have that job, and Lucius Malfoy mocked him for it, so seeing Lucius's grandson working there is definitely going to amuse Arthur. They definitely have reservations about Scorpius - it would be hard not to given all the things the Malfoys did to the Weasleys - but they do understand that Scorpius isn't responsible for that history and is quite different from his father and grandfather.

I imagine George probably gave her free samples pretty regularly after this - once he realizes he can keep her in one piece by giving her things he can well afford. I'm sure he'd needle Ron about it though ;)

Rose doesn't always think things through, or notice the obvious. Fred is a better sidekick than she thinks, at least until there's some action happening, then he's useless.

Thank you very much for the review!


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Review #21, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: Small-Time Hoods

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

This was another great chapter! Every hint seems to be pointing towards Butrus being an awful lot more dangerous than anyone thought... Rose will most likely stumble across something big in her quest to find him. Unfortunately, she doesn't have any leads as of yet. Hopefully she finds something soon.

And yay for Scorpius finding a job- a legal, paying job! I was worried about that, but at least he's doing something that will help them to pay the rent. Hopefully the little side hunts Rose is doing will help them to finally pay both of the rents they have due. :P

I liked the scene at the end of the chapter as well. I suppose there is one benefit to having a really large family. :P I really like how you have everyone in Rose's family interact. With such a large family, it could be easy for someone to be left out, or for them to not keep in contact with each other as much/not keep as up-to-date with each other's lives... But then again I suppose that a few nights out at the bar, coupled with a quick owl here and there, as well as the Weasley grapevine would be sufficient enough to keep the family ties alive.

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this chapter and I'm really rooting for Rose to find Butrus. Hopefully she finds a lead soon! Great work! :D

Author's Response: Rose's main investigative technique is pretty much hoping to stumble across something useful, it's true. She follows their usual haunts and hopes for something to turn up. It usually works out for her, though.

Scorpius has a legal job! It doesn't suit him, but it's temporary so he puts up with it. Living in a cardboard box is a strong inducement to get a job.

I like throwing in the Weasley and Potter cousins. Rose is very close with her family, particularly when they're buying her drinks. I didn't get to give all of them a scene in this story, but a few more pop up in the sequel. Lucy's the closest to being left out, because she's the most introverted of them, but her sister makes sure she's never totally left behind.

Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the chapter :)


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Review #22, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: Weasley Genes

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

So what is Scorpius' big plan? I do hope that it won't get him in trouble. Not only would he be in trouble with the law, but there would be even more problems with his and Rose's life in their small apartment. *sigh* I'm really starting to get attached to him- the fondness and love between him and Rose is obvious, even though you haven't yet dropped the "l"-word.

In fact, their relationship is one of the things that I really like about this story (not that there's anything I dislike). I think that you've done a fantastic job of writing the dynamics in their relationship. Seeing the lasagna Scorpius left warm for her, or his loud singing, or especially his concern for her well-bringing (as well as Rose's knowledge of his habits) has really brought their relationship to life for me. It's great to see that they aren't fighting about their money problems; particularly that Rose isn't nagging Scorpius about not bringing in any money himself. Their financials will look up!

I also really liked the peak into Rose's relationship with Victoire and Teddy. Your description/version of Victoire was quite interesting- typically she's portrayed in the more "socially-accepted" version of beauty but her appearance here definitely fits in with her Weasley heritage. :) It was very interesting to see that Rose actually asks them to accompany her on her cases... But then again I suppose that she's never really had any dangerous cases before.

I also really liked the glimpse into Ron and Hermione's relationship. I particularly liked the line about how proof of Ron's love for her can be found in the fact that he doesn't really mind Hermione's awful cooking.

All in all, I really enjoyed this chapter and I hope that Rose finds some leads soon! The whole business with the activity in the brother-in-law's house seems rather suspicious... She'll probably find something there. Great work! :D

Author's Response: Ah, you'll have to keep reading to see his plan! It would certainly complicate things for them if he started breaking the law. I do love Scorpius, so I'm always happy to hear a reader starting to fall for him too ;) He's a good guy. Very solid sort of man. Since Rose is so flighty, that works well with her.

Rose and Scorpius have been together a long time at this point, and you do get to know each other. That sort of comfort level is a really warm and fuzzy sort of feeling - when you know each other so well. They do love each other. I tried not to focus on the romance in this story, though, since it's a mystery novel. The first time I wrote mystery, actually. My other HP fanfics to this point were largely in the romance genre. This was a bit of a challenge to write in some ways, particularly the action scenes.

Victoire and Teddy are a lot of fun. I especially love writing Teddy's view of Rose, since he sort of thinks of her as an inept and self-destructive teenager who doesn't know what's good for her. And he's not totally wrong, since she's often merrily racing headlong into danger. Making Victoire resemble her grandmother instead of her mother is still one of my favorite ideas for characterization. I love the thought of beautiful veela Fleur trying to parent short, round, red-headed daughters. Rose does like to invite Victoire along (not Teddy though) for surveillance, since she gets bored easily. She hasn't taken her on anything dangerous, since as you note, she rarely gets dangerous cases.

There's more Ron and Hermione later ;) I just love them. Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #23, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: Mostly Independent and Totally Broke

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

Uh-oh- do I sense I bit of irony? Or foreshadowing? I have a sense that Rose's case will eventually link up with her dad's... Which means that Rose will be in a lot of danger and hopefully won't have to worry about rent money for a long time (that's how happy endings work, right? They brush away all of the problems the characters had at the beginning of the story. :P )

I find it funny that their landlady is threatening to call their parents, along with other things. You'd think that that wouldn't even cross her mind (after all, both Rose and Scorpius are adults) but I guess when your parents are famous...

I quite agree with Hermione's attempt to get that law removed from use. The idea that a human can be used as collateral for another human... That sounds like something the mafia would do, instead of legal law enforcement. I really do hope that Rose finds the man, not only so that she can finally pay her rent but also so that this woman won't have to suffer on her husband's behalf.

I really wonder how Rose is going to find this guy. I mean, she doesn't really have any leads and she's definitely on a time crunch... But I suppose that she has more tricks up her sleeve, from previous experiences as a Bounty Hunter.

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter. It was just as interesting as the first and I look forward to reading the next one! :D

Author's Response: Ah, I try not to comment in early-chapter reviews about the main mystery plots, so I'll just wink at you about the foreshadowing ;) Rose never gets to brush away all her problems, partly because she's rather irresponsible at heart.

Oh, Mrs. Kochel worked out early on what motivates Rose. Calling her mother is definitely in the top three. And Rose really is a terrible tenant. She's almost always late with the rent, after all.

That law is based on a real law from UK history. Horrible. It definitely had the effect of targeting low-income women, whose husbands got in trouble and had to use their wives as collateral. It really is barbaric, to use a Hermione-ism. She definitely wouldn't let that stand once she found out about it.

Rose has very few tricks, actually. She's not a great bounty hunter. lol... She does know more than she thinks she does, but she's a small fish in the bounty hunter world, after all.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!


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Review #24, by Roots in WaterJust Another Midnight Run: Parmenter, Again

17th July 2013:
Hello there!

I don't tend to read many Next-Gen stories, but perhaps that should change. I really liked this beginning to your story. Rose certainly has an interesting job and it's great to hear about another side of the Wizarding world. After all, someone does need to go after those who skip out on court dates, just like in the Muggle world.

I really liked how you built her world in this chapter. Your description was fantastic and, without laying everything out at once or being overly descriptive, it was easy to see the outlines of Rose's world.

Rose's personality was also well done. She has a very snappy personality (if that makes sense). She understands who she is and what she wants - even if her living situation is still a little shakey.

It was also very interesting to see the big Weasley family from Rose's perspective. The difference between Ron and Harry as Aurors was an interesting detail - I can understand why Harry wouldn't share the details of his cases with Rose, even though it makes her job more difficult.

Unfortunately, I have a sense that this case won't go so easily for Rose. Perhaps the man with the unfortunate name is a lot more dangerous than he appears. Or just not as easily found.

All in all, this was a great first chapter and I really enjoyed reading it. I'm definitely moving on to the next one! Great work! :D

Author's Response: Ah, I should note here that bounty hunters do not exist in the United Kingdom. Since these stories are inspired by the Stephanie Plum series, I went ahead with it anyway. Artistic license. That's my story and I'm sticking with it ;)

Rose does have a lot of surety about her life, really. Even though she's quite lazy and has no desire to have a regular job, she does enjoy her work and in particular the ability it gives her to sleep til noon whenever she likes. I'm glad you like my portrayal of her.

Harry is her uncle, so he doesn't have that father-daughter connection with her which Rose uses to guilt or otherwise wheedle her dad into giving her information on cases. It comes in pretty handy.

If it went easily, there wouldn't be a plot ;) So naturally it won't go easy for her. I hope you enjoy the story, and thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #25, by Roots in WaterOne of the Boys: Antics and Afternoons

16th July 2013:
Hello there!

So now Ella has a crush on Chase Davies? Wow... That was quick! Just last chapter she was trying to convince herself that she didn't like him... It's times like these where it would be great to be able to see more of her thought process!

I really liked this chapter because it did a great job of showing the growing friendship between the team. The insulting commentary, the pranks/antics of 007 and the rest of the team... They really show the level of their friendship!

I also liked the insight into Ella's thoughts about them. Seeing them all as her friends is great, even if society doesn't like to believe that it is possible. I hope that she continues to show everyone just how much she can be a "part of the gang" and I hope no one starts to spread rumours about her.

I understand why Dominique is concerned, though- she's just worried for her best friend. Hopefully her concerns will turn out to be unfounded, though.

I also liked how you wrote them studying at the beginning of the chapter. Even though they eventually abandonned it to play rescuers to their poor trapped teammates, it shows that academics is a part of their lives and that they do work on their schoolwork... Occasionally. I also liked the reference to Neville. :)

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this chapter! It was an enjoyable read! :D

Author's Response: Yes, yes she does. Her attempts to stop herself from liking him were kinda half-hearted and... it didn't happen.
I'm so glad that you liked the chapter (and the whole thing!) Thank you so much for all of your FANTABULOUS questions and comments-- i'm DEFINITELY going to be referring to them when i go back to edit the story (as soon as i get my laptop back... :P) . You can count on some more Ella thoughts, an added scene or two, and maybe a bit more schoolwork in the newly edited version! (and of course a personal shoutout showering you in praise and glory.)
LOVE YOU MAN.
Jilly


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