Reading Reviews From Member: Hayleekins
  
107 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HayleekinsMudblood to Murder: Anger

19th June 2013:
Another brilliant chapter! Now I must wait in agony for the next update! Dx

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Review #2, by HayleekinsAgainst the World: Chapter Twelve

18th February 2013:
i really, throughly enjoyed this story! I'm glad to see this kind of twist on a Lily and James romance. I've always wanted to read a fic like this :) I'll admit, I wasn't entirely pleased with the ending (Please don't hate me :S) Mostly just because I thought it was a little "Deus ex machina"... Like all of a sudden "Hey, here's Dumbledore, and everything is going to be good again!" I feel like a witch just saying that though :S I did think the story as a whole was wonderfully written, and it's a great piece that I've been delighted to read! Just right at the climax, everything ended in a flash... I did like how everything wasn't completely perfect though... Discrimination still exists, even after all the trials. So i'm sorry for the kinda negative review... Forgive me!
Happy writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #3, by HayleekinsJust close your eyes: The Sun is Going Down

27th February 2012:
Haha this is the second song-fic I've read for this song (not including my own!) and I found it very good! I'd be very interested in reading the additional story that comes with this one, its very interesting. Thats all I can think to say right now, so I bid you adeau!
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: It's funny, I didn't realize there were so many for this song already until after I posted this one haha. I just read yours actually, though I'll review over there. I do plan to post more soon, though like I said I'm still deciding whether I want to make it a second chapter or just leave this as a one-shot.

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Review #4, by Hayleekins 'Safe and Sound' : They're safe and sound

22nd February 2012:
Hello! I liked the story, and I thought it was pretty well done! I'm not really in the mood to write a very long review, sorry, haha.. But I too am in love with Hunger Games, and I also wrote a songfic to this song! We have so much in common! hehe see yah!
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: Heyy! thank you so much :) We do have alot in common, haha. Gale or Peeta? Thanks for reviewing
xx Beaux


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Review #5, by HayleekinsHe couldn't catch me now: White Horse

14th February 2012:
I really liked that :) It was a little short, but I think that, in this case, that factor did little to deteriorate the story on the whole :) Good job, and I encourage you to continue writing more!
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #6, by HayleekinsFor the Love of Lily Evans: The Secret

15th January 2012:
Hm! I've never ever liked Lily-Sirius pairing (though I think that's only because I really really love James-Lily pairings) but this story is... something else! I really did enjoy this, and I think you did a great job. Because truthfully, you're right, even when you know you can be happy when you go down a certain path, it doesn't mean you really want to. The reason I didn't want to like this story is because i hate how true it was.. I had always imagined Lily being perfectly happy with James, and never wanting anything else (and I'll probably continue feeling this way honestly!). It was still really interesting, and you had some amazing lines throughout the whole story! It's sad, in a way, how Lily and Sirius won't ever be together, because in some ways I can see it working, and you just can't help but sympathize with Sirius!
Well, really great job! This is probably the first Lily-Sirius fic that I've read, so you are the lucky one to have such a title!! Congrats ;)
Happy writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #7, by HayleekinsNo One Mourns the Wicked: No One Mourns the Wicked

11th January 2012:
Argh! You got wicked songs stuck in my head!! Gah! Other than that, it was pretty well done! I'm still a little confused as to whom this story is about... anyways, good job!
Happy writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad to hear that! And it was an original character, not any Death Eater we knew. :)

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Review #8, by HayleekinsThe Price of Erised: Ambition's Price

21st December 2011:
WOW! This is such a neat story!!! It really explains why Percy was such a pompous git who blindly adored the Ministry. Very well written, and totally awesome :D
10/10!!
Keep it up; Happy Writing!
Hayleekins

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Review #9, by HayleekinsWhy Us?: Why Us?

19th December 2011:
xD ahhh I love these type of stories where the characters read fanfiction about themselves!! It's sooo fun! hehe very nice, and the pairing bothers me as well : I never understood how people th0ought that THEY were gay... *I* didn't get that impression : anyways! Very nice :) Gave me a good laugh!
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #10, by HayleekinsA Certain Kind of Darkness: A Certain Kind of Darkness

2nd November 2011:
Oh WOW! That was so amazing!!! I can't even find wods to discrive this :O just amazing. And a little creepy, but in this case it's a compliment :D Good work, a very nice piece!!
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: Yes it is a compliment, thank you :) I actually really enjoyed trying to get the creepy vibe for this one.

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Review #11, by HayleekinsJust For You: chapter five

28th October 2011:
Hullo dear! Before I forget: I think it would be interesting to hear something in either James' POV, or Sophie's perhaps, but that would depend on which direction your stroy is going (Revenge on the Untouchables perhaps? I dunno, just my thinkings :P)
I don't know where YOU are, but right now, its like quarter after 11 : I'm telling you this as an explaination as to why this review will be quite short, not unlike my last one!
So, I think this chapter is really good! I could see hardly and gramatical or spelling errors, and if I did, they must have been so minescule that I've forgotten it by now! So I am OFFICIALLY congradulating you! Cheers (Clinks butterbeers)!
... It could be the fact that I'm very tired, or the aformentioned improvements, but I really can't find anything to critique! So, another round of virual butterbeer for everyone- on me! Hehehe
Well, I bid you adeau, and Happy Writings dear.
Hayleekins

Author's Response: *clinks butterbeers* thanks!! well this chapter i edited it alot, chopping and changing because it just wasn't working out.. you know what i mean? wel anyways, im thinking of doing another Untouchables pov for the next chapter.. ((maybe lottie??)) Ive lately become obsessed with Sirius and OC so thats why... well i guess this is a good chapter then!! thanks :D
~Happy Writings to you too
Prongs_lover


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Review #12, by HayleekinsOne Young Malfoy: Be Proper

20th October 2011:
That is very good! I love the way you wrote Draco as such a happy, loving little boy, who accepted those he now feels inferior. The change is nicley done, and I love how it gives a bit of a background to why Draco is like that now. Very nicely done, I applaud you :) I'm surprised this hasn't gotten more reviews, honestyly : Well, Good work, and Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: Ohmygosh , thankyou soso much! Haha, yeah I always thought that Draco could've turned out fine if it wasn't for his family. I mean, he couldn't have been born cruel could he. Every little kid is a bundle of joy :D Thanks again! xx

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Review #13, by HayleekinsConfession: Voldemort's Confession

19th October 2011:
... This sounds like Voldemort is on a LOT of drugs! :D I wish my friends were as crazy and HP obsessed as yours are, I would love to make up ridiculous stories!! Haha but this was very funny, and very random... Good job :)
Hayleekins

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Review #14, by HayleekinsKreacher's Fairytale: Kreacher's Fairytale

19th October 2011:
Haha that was very cute, and quite funny :) There were only some parts of the story that didn't make a whole lot of sense (After midnight her cart was a cauldron again, so she apparated home... but earlier it said she was a muggleborn so she couldn't... THEN AGAIN now I think about it, even if she was a muggleborn, she was still a witch, so she could have simply apparated in the first place? ... I DUNNO, just never mind)
It was a very entertaining story, and is assisting me with procrastinating, so I thank you :)
Nice work and Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #15, by HayleekinsJust For You: boys... and firewhiskey

19th October 2011:
Hello! I won't be able to leave an extremely lengthy review tonight, I am in the midst of finishing my Reader's Response for English that's due tomorrow :
Well! I've been checking almost daily to see when the story's updated, and FINALLY :) I understand what you're going through with the validation issues. they can be MEGA frustrating! I have failed to update one of my stories because the chapter is simply too gruesome for the validators.. They have their conserns though, and as much as it may frustrate us writers, we must respect their decision. So I forgive you for the delay :)
I like this chapter, I think that although it is filler, it can be kind of amusing for the reader, and it is something light and easy to follow. I think this chapter has few mistakes, besides the occasional spelling error (who am I to talk though, my spelling is horid! God bless spell check!!)
Good job, excited to read more :) Hope the validators aren't so rough on you next time! :)
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: haha thanks!! i also have quite bad spelling, and sometimes spell check doesn't pick up on it (hence the mistakes) :S... im posting the next chapter asap, and i tried to update this one last week, but the site was down for two days for me and i couldnt post!! sometimes i think the validaters should just tell you all the mistakes in one instead of making you re-validate like five times, its seriously frustrating!

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Review #16, by HayleekinsWhiskey Lullaby: Whiskey Lullaby

15th October 2011:
First of all: this song, is AMAZING. I love it with my life, definately one of my top 5. It makes me very happy to see someone else appreciate such a great song! Secondly, the story goes very well with it :) I think you did a good job with the characters and their emotions. I think it is a really well done story, and I applaud you!
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #17, by HayleekinsMudblood to Murder: Murder in the Forest

6th October 2011:
GAH I can't stand waiting!!! But for you, I shall be patient ;) I love this story to pieces, and I can only wish and hope to see a new chapter! I understand with your work though, so I'll forgive you :)
This chapter is definately a good one, leaving me with more and more questions! I can't wait to read more and find out, no matter how long it takes! I especially love your characterizations, they are always spot on, or close to that anyways :) I love it, and will wait in anxious anticipation for the next chappie :)
Thanks and Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #18, by HayleekinsJust For You: Girls, Guys, and "Talks"

15th September 2011:
Hey again! In response to your response on my review, I'd like to say that I know, it can be challanging to write someone older than yourself, simply because you aren't at that age yet and don't exactly know what a seventeen year old would think. I have the same problem sometimes (I'm fifteen), and its difficult because its something you can't change until you are that certain age. Don't worry too much about it, your chapters seem to be going very well :)
Now, onto this chapter: Your shout out made me smile so much! I just hope I was helpful enough to deserve such a big thanks!
Okay, now lets REALLY talk about your chapter :) It looks to be coming together very nicely. I'm excited to read the next chapter! Thats a very good thing to have: a want from the readers. If you have readers begging you to hurry up and update, you know that you are doing well in your writing. So I'll tell you now: Hurry up and update! hehe :) There is not much I can say advice wise about this chapter in particular, but I will definately review the next one and the one after that! You can rest assured that I'll be here :)
I may not be able to give much simply for this chapter, but all together my advice to you is just to keep going. I find that my biggest problem while writing is that I get stuck very easily. Whether I've submitted one chapter or five, I still find that when I go to write, there is nothing there. I wish and I hope that I have the inspiration to continue writing those, but once you quit a story, its hard to go back. So I advise you to keep going with the same story no matter how frustrated you get. I hope that you differ from me and don not have those problems at all, because its very troublesome.
Now, I really wish I could write a longer review, but I have Science, Careers, and English homework I need to finish :
Lots of Love and Happy Writing,
Hayleekins!
ps, do I get virtual chocolate?

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad not only me and my bestie like my story :D and yeah for awhile a did get writers block, but I've writen 7 chapters already but its just finding the timeto get the story from my laptop to my PC, although I try to do them asap :))

yes here you go: |_|_|
|_|_|

~Prongs_lover


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Review #19, by HayleekinsJust For You: Prologue

7th September 2011:
Hello! I actually reviewed the second chapter before the first one, but I remembered something I didn't include in the other review:
If you are looking for a banner, which I would recommend, I would advise you to look at the-dark-arts dot net (I cant include links :$ ) you can either request a banner done by one of the artists, or you could navigate your way to the "Up For Grabs" section, which are already made banners that the artists are putting 'Up for Grabs' :) They can change the title for you, and soemtimes even add or take away a few things as well :) I know I have had many banners from TDA (check out my profile to see em ;D ) and I love it there!
Hope I was helpful :)
And if you're reading this first, please see the next review by me, Hayleekins, for actual feedback on your story :)
Thanks and Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll go check it out!

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Review #20, by HayleekinsJust For You: Sixth year dramas...

7th September 2011:
Hi there! I'm here to offer you a tad bit of advice :) I'm sorry, I don't intend to come off rude, but just in case that's the impression you get, I want to apologize right now.
First, I understand this is your first fic here. Trust me, I was there before, and I remember just how nervous/ excited I was for a review to help me out! It wasn't until... well, a long time after I started writing that I really got a review that pointed out some of my errors, which was actually very helpful in my opinion.
Alright, so I just want to say that it is a liiittle short. I know that when you're starting out, writing extensive chapters can be challanging. I encourage you to do the same that I was told to do: describe the surroundings. It can add some length to your chapters, and it can help fill the story, give it a bit of a backbone. It can be hard, but practice really does add to perfection (I can say that my stories have advanced as time goes on... Chapters get longer, and personally I feel that my writing has slightly matured. Thats simply my opinion though).
Next, I personally feel that exadurating words (like many use on social sites or over text) are not needed for a good story. So having Sirius actually say "I have never, ever, ever, EVER heard Evans swear, bahaha you pissed her off big time, good luck!" You could have said something along the lines of "I have never *ever* heard Evans swear. You must have pissed her off big time, good luck!" Sirius chuckled/laughed/teased or any other emotion he could have in his voice. I just find that a little more proper.. Just like how Ebony says '"Naww is this your way of finally admitting your secret love for Jamesie?" Eb retorted looking, happy with herself, too happy.' I find that adding the 'Naww' part isn't really needed.
That quote brings me to another point. I'm not sure if its merely a mistake that you missed, but the placement of the commas is incorrect here. It could perhaps be better if it read 'Eb retorted looking very happy with herself, maybe a little too happy...' Or something along those lines?
In no way could I be considered a pro writer. I am flawed, I have horrid spelling, and I make mistakes like anyone else. If you happen to take a glimpse at my work, you'd probably notice a few spelling mistakes here or there... I'm bad with it, so I want to warn you now so that you don't end up like me! You said you have had a few friends look it over? You could ask one of your good friends to be a sort of editor for you, if you'd like (I know I have one!) and they can look over your work and make suggestions just like I'm doing now :)
I hope you continue with your work, and do not take any offence by this!
Nice Work so far and Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: Hi well, first off I'm glad you took the time to review :)!! I did actually have a freind off mine edit it, (shes based on one of the characters- Lottie) but shes not much of a writer... I know its a bit short, but as I started writing other chapters, they get longer. Ans yeah well, I'm trying to write the story from a 16/17 year olds POV which is challenging since im younger than that :/ And yeah so, thanks overall for taking the time to review :)
~Prongs_lover


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Review #21, by HayleekinsSeptember First: You're Beautiful: I Wanna Know You: Year One

1st September 2011:
Hi There :) I like the story so far, I think its pretty well done :) I also thought it was cool, since today is also September 1st :D I'd like to read more, I think the one day concept would be really interseting to see (I didnt see the movie :P), so please continue :)
Good luck and Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: Thanks :)
I didn't even realize that, I wrote this in August! Ya, don't see the movie--trust me.

Thanks for the review!

xoxo,

pp123


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Review #22, by HayleekinsSurrendering My Broken Heart: Progress

27th August 2011:
I really enjoyed that! It was very sweet, the moments between Lily and James (espicially at the end) and I think you did a nice job with the interactions between Lily and Mulciber. Very well done, I look forward to reading more from you :)
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #23, by HayleekinsProject Vanishing Act: Meet the Parents

11th August 2011:
Oh wow! What a chapter! I really like where this story is going, and I can't wait to read the rest! I love how you ended the chapter, leaving the rest of us wondering what Harry would do! I really cannot wait for you to post the next chapter, please be quick in updating!!! As long as you update, I'll read it :)
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

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Review #24, by HayleekinsCheckmate: Silence Is The Best Policy

1st February 2011:
Wooh! Another great chapter!! I love the way you write. I don't know why, but I just do!! Haha... This chapter was sort of depressing, given James' and Lily's mood, but I guess I should start to expect that for this story now should I? Either way, it's really good, and I love how you added a bit of the 'old James' in at the end, with his remark about being on first name terms! Oh Golly, you better hurry up and update soon! I can't be left hanging much longer!!
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I'm really glad you like the way I write. And if you think this chapter's depressing...wait til you get to the next one! And I had to put in some of the old James in the end, otherwise it would be far too OOC. I'm updating the next chapter now so fingers crossed it will be validated ASAP. Thanks for your review again!

~Soraya~


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Review #25, by HayleekinsCheckmate: Prologue

1st February 2011:
Oh wow!! This is a REALLY good start!! I really can't wait to read more, so please continue! You are a really good writer, and I expect good things from you! So, I will go on to read the next chapter, and you shall continue writing and not cry.
Happy Writing,
Hayleekins
You know, if you felt like brightening a fourteen year old's day, you could check out some of my stories? Haha!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm relieved you liked it as much as you did. I will definitely get round to reading some of your stories--as long as you keep reviewing mine!

~Soraya~


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