The story is getting better and better!
I liked the flashback sequence of her first kiss with Sirius.
That conversation between Gwen and Severus about switching sides was so chilling.
Poor Aunt Sarah!
(If you can't tell, I am still enjoying the story)Author's Response: SO glad you're enjoying the story. I loved reading all you had to say :) Thanks for reading!!! Report Review
Poor Severus! I'm glad he's not badmouthing Sirius to her face, but it's obvious they don't like each other.
Your dialogue is so good. Report Review
I laughed at "talk chit chat crap". Gwen has a snarky sense of humor.
So the cold weather weakens Gwen. That was a scary childhood flashback!
I'm enjoying the story, too! Report Review
I'm glad she's the history professor. Binns is terrible!
Gwen and Severus are cute together. It looks like she needs better security smarts. ;) Report Review
Gwen's infatuated with Sirius!
The interactions with Severus are funny. I'm glad Gwen gives him a chance instead of jumping on the I Hate Snivellus bandwagon. ;) She's mature.
Just noticed her last name is Bradley. Miss Bradley is becoming very likeable! Report Review
This was a sweet chapter. I did find it kind of odd that she would give Sirius such a precious gift without knowing if she was going to marry him. Just last chapter she was worried he was going to propose!
I guess she's not worried anymore. ;) Report Review
I've already read all of the story so far, but I want to review some!
I enjoyed the opening premise of the story. Gwen and Sirius together are cute. I have to admit I clicked because I was looking for a Severus/OC.
I think people get nervous when a new character shows too much strength right away, but Gwen definitely has some vulnerability. Maybe she's more vulnerable emotionally than magically and that's okay.
Something I noticed is that you might need more paragraph breaks for easier reading. Your writing itself is wonderful. Report Review
I found a minor typo:
["He's is ... displeased." Pettigrew said this with relish, savouring the feeling of having the Dark Lord's approval while the status of mine hung precariously in the balance.]
Maybe Pettigrew sounds like a house elf after so many months of acting like one! :)
Your Voldemort is pretty realistic despite the fact that we never saw Severus's first meeting with the reborn Dark Lord in canon. Your changes to the story make for some good scenes like this.
Great chapter!Author's Response: It took me about three reads to figure out what was wrong with that sentence. That's why you should never proof-read your own work, I guess! I really should get a beta. It's impossible to catch all your own mistakes when you know what it's *supposed* to say. I like the idea of Peter talking like a house-elf...haha. Thanks a bunch for catching that!
Glad you liked it! I really enjoyed writing Voldemort, since I've never gotten to before. It was pretty interesting. Thank goodness for Ralph Fiennes' expert performance. It really helped inspire me. I guess I'm kind of glad my story took a slight detour from 100% canon. Well, it sort of had to, because I don't think canon Severus would have ever fallen in love with Avrille after loving Lily so much. But like you said, it makes for some good missing moment scenes, and I like not being totally constricted by canon. I am still going to follow it as closely as I can in this story (the epilogue is going to veer way off, since there's no way I'm going to kill off Severus). Thanks so much for your reviews! ~Renny Report Review
I also forgot about Caligula. Poor cat!
I wasn't sure if the British used tea bags, but some Googling says that they do. It might not seem as wizardly to use them, but maybe Molly would choose a shortcut since she's so busy around the house. I'm rubbish at finding Britishisms! :)
Another great chapter!Author's Response: I know, right? I felt so bad when I realized I had totally ignored Caligula's existence that whole time I was writing. It's kind of ironic since my own poor cats have been kind of neglected ever since I had my baby. Maybe Caligula's just been hiding under the bed for months with Char running around, wanting to pull his tail.
I think I was definitely going for the short-cut route for Molly with the tea bags thing. I remember someone in Prisoner of Azkaban (Lupin, probably?) asking Harry if it was ok to use teabags since he was probably sick of tea leaves now from Divination. So I figured maybe most households would have both on hand. But thanks for the thought! I'm kind of mediocre at Britishisms. I definitely know some, but I'm sure I can never catch them all. Thank you for the review! Glad you're liking what I've been able to post so far! ~Renny Report Review
Both couplings were pretty funny this chapter. Enjoyable fluff!
"Lily was now looking at him as though pumpkins had begun to sprout from his ears. "
I can picture James going down a couple steps like some silly romantic comedy.
Can't wait to see Severus fishing for information from Beth!Author's Response: Fluff does exist in these pages! :) It's very few and far between, as this is definitely more of an angsty romance, but it does appear in small drivels.
Romantic comedy? -looks about wildly- I'm awful at those. :P Then again, I'm writing the second-to-last chapter of one at the moment, so perhaps you're correct. Information fishing is in the future, so hang on tight -- and thanks so much for taking the time to read and a review! It means a lot to me! ♥ Report Review
Enjoying the story! I just devoured all 10 chapters.Author's Response: haha! I hope you're full! ;)
Thanks, dear! :)
xoxo Alicia Report Review
Beth and Sev are adorable. They're acting so silly; I had to remind myself that it's 7th year. ;)
Great chapter again.Author's Response: Thank you so much for dropping by -- it's always an immense pleasure to see your name cropping up again! Neither of them's really got a lot of experience, romance-wise, so I figure they're allowed a bit of silliness now and again. ;)
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review -- it means a lot to me! Hope to see you back again soon! ♥ Report Review
Assignments already! Wow. Another great chapter.
Beth is the best option. She's the only one speaking to a Slytherin on the other side. Sirius burned all of those bridges. No idea how she's going to swing this if Severus finds out~Author's Response: Assignments already! :D Poor Sirius, I think I kept him waiting long enough, don't you? Another few months of that and he'd start breaking things in his anxiety.
Hmm... Severus finding out, you say? I wonder when that might occur. :D Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a review -- I really am so glad you did, and it totally made my day! So glad you're liking where the story is going, too! Report Review
Oh no! I wonder how Severus and Beth are going to get through this time.Author's Response: I'll tell you this -- it's going to be a bit sticky. :P But they've become a bit too involved to just drop it, haven't they? I guess you've got to read on to find out!
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a review on this chapter! I really cannot even tell you what it is to me that you did -- I appreciate it so, so much. :) I hope to see you back for the next chapter, too! Report Review
I've enjoyed this story! I was looking for Severus pairings and found it. It's really original and I like the Black ladies' interaction. I can't think of anything constructive to say because the story seems well written. Report Review
A sequel for this story? WOW I didn't know you were writing one. Great Severus pairing stories are really hard to find and I loved this one.Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, a sequel is in the works, but I have very little time for writing at the moment due to some life transitions. Hopefully in the next month or two I can put up the first few chapters I wrote for NaNoWriMo to at least have proof that I AM working on it! Thank you again for the review and I'm so happy you liked it :) ~Renny Report Review
I loved this chapter as well. It's nice that Sev treats Beth like a strong witch instead of a delicate flower. He shows that by telling her a secret that would unnerve a lot of people and by trusting that she can take care of herself. I'm excited to see how their relationship progresses!Author's Response: Oh my gosh -- you understand my characters /perfectly/. I having a bit of a moment right now. :3 I work very hard to try and get that good balance between them, but of course, as an author, you can say one thing and have someone take it in the total opposite direction. You got exactly what I was trying to say, though!!
Oh my gosh, this is so exciting. Thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave a review -- this completely and totally made my day!! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! ♥ Report Review
Awh that was a cute end to the chapter. I love reading about Severus.Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much for taking the time to leave a review! I loved this ending, too -- I have a secret and hidden passion for writing fluff, which admittedly doesn't get spotlighted a lot in this fic. Severus isn't really a fluffy character, I find.
Glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter -- thanks again! Report Review
It's a good story so far!
"...and I always suggest carrying a wooden swab in your pocket to bite down on. You know, just one of those pieces of wood we healers would always shove down your throat when you were younger. When some epileptics have a seizure, some will choke on their own tongue."
That last part about putting something in an epileptic's mouth is wrong. If you Google it, you'll see it's not recommended anymore.Author's Response: Oh, okay. Well, I'm not an expert so I'm not sure. I just researched what I didn't know and used what I did already know, and not everything you find on the internet can be trusted, so I'm not sure. But I will definitely look into that. Thank you for telling me this. :) I will definitely try to find out if it is truly recommended or not and edit accordingly. :)
Thanks for reviewing. I hope you will continue to read and overlook this minor mistake. :) Report Review
Glad to hear you're feeling better (I hope). I missed your story during the delay.
I actually felt sad reading hungry Sirius stuck in the cave and I didn't feel that way reading GoF. I hope Kerri takes care of him. I bet Sirius could smack some sense into Remus, too.
:(Author's Response: I'm doing better, thanks.
Kerri and Remus will become very close friends, which is setting her up for a lot of heartache at the end of year five.
Sirius no doubt will try to talk some sense into Remus but we'll have to see how that goes. Report Review
Ugh, I've always wondered why nobody caught on to the fake Moody. I guess it just goes to show that Dumbledore is fallible. It's either that or Moody's so paranoid he doesn't show any personality at all. Of course, they probably thought Moody wouldn't have been defeated in his own home. Certain powerful people were supposedly still locked up in Azkaban, after all.
...and the 'stealing the plate' dialogue was very funny.Author's Response: I've always just thought that Crouch Jr. must have been a very very good actor. But to pull that off right under Dumbledore's nose took incredible brains and talent. Report Review
This story is still awesome. Good update! Report Review
Great chapter. I liked the length of this one.
The Kerri/Remus pacing seems appropriate. I like that the tension is also picking up. It's interesting to see Dumbledore worried for a change. :)Author's Response: Thanks. I wasn't sure about the length in this story. There were some parts that I thought about putting in the next chapter. Report Review
Tonks cracked me up this entire chapter, especially when she named all of her window men. I can't wait for the Cup!
Looking forward to Snape and Lupin's reappearance in the future.Author's Response: Tonks's window men were inspired. It just popped into my head out of the blue while I was working on it. I love writing Tonks.
I think that Lupin will be written into the story in three chapters. The next two will cover the World Cup. Report Review
YES! Year 4! I'm excited.
Kerri's totally right: men can be morons when it comes to love.
I can relate to her way too much in this chapter (except for dating a werewolf). Lupin's going to have to do serious damage control if one of the Weasley men moves in on Kerri.
I just hope Mrs. Weasley doesn't turn on Kerri when she finds out her bloodline in the future...
Great start!Author's Response: Nope, it's not going to be one of the Weasleys. It's an original character that I'm introducing in the next chapter. You'll recognize him because he's young and handsome and in the medical profession. Pretty much ideal in every way.
I've prewritten the scene where Kerri tells Mrs. Weasley her secret. It's one of the climactic scenes of the story so I'm not going to talk about it and give things away. Report Review
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