Reading Reviews From Member: TenthWeasley
604 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TenthWeasleyNoise: Noise

21st February 2015:
Hey, Sarah -- here with a review for you!

Oh, Neville as a werewolf! Before reading this, I wouldn't have conjured up that idea, but you actually made it seem very plausible. I walk a lot when I have things to deal with, and that's nothing compared to the things Neville would be feeling, having survived a war. I don't think it's a far stretch at all.

I think one of the things I liked best about this story is the style in which you wrote it. The sentences are short and staccato, and it feels very distant and removed -- but that's really very fitting, I think. Before the hospital, Neville's essentially going through mild PTSD from the war, and afterwards obviously the lycanthropy is messing with his brain. I think it's very genius, really, to have the style reflect so specifically the way his mind would have been working.

Those two lines before the last italics are eerily lovely -- they made the hairs on my arms stand up, in the best way possible. ♥ I have a huge fascination with the depiction of mental illness and just the idea of someone being in this body, knowing their mind is going to tip, knowing it's inevitable and not being able to stop it... wow. I'm giving myself goosebumps again! I love those lines.

I think it's interesting that you and TreacleTart both gave me prompts from this challenge to read, but this was gorgeous! Thanks for pointing me in its direction. Best of luck with the challenge results!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the lovely review! :)

I never would've thought up Neville as a werewolf if I hadn't received him for this challenge! I thought about switching because I prefer writing lesser-known characters, but then figured, hey, it's supposed to be a challenge. I'm really glad you think it's plausible! The guilt and trauma felt by survivors of a war is so often overlooked in the Muggle world, so I figured it would be the same in the wizarding world.

Ahh, I'm thrilled you got the style! That's exactly what I was going for and I'm so glad it came through. I think it's extremely likely Neville had PTSD after the war (as with a lot of the characters who lived) and he wouldn't be thinking clearly all the time. And of course, when he woke up in St. Mungo's everything was hazy.

I was definitely trying to make an impact with those lines. Very glad it made the hairs on your arms stand up! I love writing about mental illness in fan fic, so this fit perfectly with that.

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this! I love writing about werewolves and this was probably the most difficult one I've done.

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Review #2, by TenthWeasleyTo Fear A Full Moon: Chapter 1

20th February 2015:
Hello -- here with a review for you!

I like reading HPFF stories that expand the horizon of the wizarding world, and so I thought it was an interesting choice to center your story around a work study program in Los Angeles. I think that's one of the best things about the world of Harry Potter: J.K. Rowling made it huge and expansive on her own, but she also gave other people the tools to keep expanding it. And I think using Pansy as your main character was a great choice! Not only is she the sort of person who I can see participating in work study, but it also makes it natural, to me, that she'd hold all of these bigoted opinions about werewolves.

In that vein, I really like how you paint the difference between the UK and the US as far as how people view werewolves. That's something I'd never have even thought about!

And I liked how, by the end, the entire story seemed sort of like a PSA for werewolf rights; I can just imagine Pansy writing this as a speech and using it at a benefit dinner or something, you know? I love all the thought you put into this, even in just a short one-shot. Details like overexaggerated werewolf rumors and the wolfsbane potion not being covered by the healthcare system really serve to make this facet of the world more grounded and real.

I do have a few questions about how severely the UK werewolf society is treated -- it does seem a little more harsh than we've seen in the books. Did things get worse for werewolves after the war, in light of Fenrir Greyback's involvement with the Death Eaters? Admittedly, Lupin had to quit his job teaching when parents of students found out who he was. But I guess I never got the sense of such hostility. Not saying that's a bad thing in your story at all! It made me wonder, and I always like a story that makes me think.

Good job with this! It's a very unique and interesting portrayal of lycanthropy. Good luck with your challenge!

Author's Response: Hi TenthWeasley,

Thank you for taking the time to write such a nice response to my story.

I really wanted to take Pansy out of her usual environment and I thought sending her on a work-study program would be plausible. I toyed with keeping her in Europe, but I imagined that after the war she would want to get far away from home for awhile.

In regards to the treatment of werewolves being so severe in the UK, I kind of had the impression that it was pretty hostile in HP. I remember Remus being dressed in shabby, patched clothes upon starting his job at Hogwarts. Throughout the story, it is pointed out time after time how against werewolves the general population are. In fact, he loses his job over his disease. I also recall that when he finds out Tonks is pregnant, he tells Harry that he can't believe he's cursed his child with his illness. He talks about Harry has only ever seen him around people who are excepting of his malady, but that it isn't that way in most of society. I just expanded on that.

I'm glad you liked the little touches like medical coverage not providing the wolfsbane potion. I tried hard to think about all of the different aspects of it.

Thank you for the good luck wishes!


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Review #3, by TenthWeasleyDone: Really done

23rd April 2014:
It's been AGES since I've read proper fan fiction, and even longer since I've read something by you! I've really missed it -- even more than I thought I did. ♥ I'm worried now that I've lost the proper art of review-leaving, but I'll do my best!

Honestly, one of my favorite types of fan fiction to read is just this type: little snippets and moments taking a look at the characters' home and family lives. There's something to be said for an author who can make the ordinary entertaining, you know? I just really like the idea of Teddy and Victoire and this whole brood of children, which is probably also why I adore the Weasleys so much. And you write the craziness of both families so well!

I knew at once that Victoire would get pregnant as soon as she and Teddy made their "no more" resolution, and I had a suspicion it would be twins as soon as Victoire entered the midwife's office. ;) Hurray for being right, and hurray for multiples! Poor Teddy, though, shell-shocked as he is -- especially seeing as how he's about to get two daughters and doesn't know what to do with them. Bless. ♥

This was such a cute story! And I'm glad that I decided on a whim to swing back by your page and see what I'd missed. I'm not gone from HPFF but definitely taking it easier than I did in the past, and it's so nice to know there are people like you who can make temporary re-entries so happy and familiar. I hope to be back before too long!

Author's Response: Always good to see reviews from you! ♥ I'm not the world's greatest reviewer myself, so I appreciate any and all reviews ;)

I love little moments like these. They're so much fun to write. And I do love writing the Weasleys. Imagining Teddy and Victoire with this gigantic passel of kids is amusing. And of course they're knocked up when they're deciding they don't want any more kids. Murphy's Law.

I thought it would be fun for them to have twins - Fred and George were identical, which doesn't have a hereditary factor, but Victoire's girls will be fraternal so. She does fall into two of the increased-chance-of-fraternals categories, so I went with it. I love the idea of Teddy, who doesn't know what to do with the two daughters he already has, getting two more at once.

It's always good to see you around! Hopefully you'll be back soon :) Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review, I really appreciate it.

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Review #4, by TenthWeasleyEquilibrium: Prologue

9th December 2013:
Fact: There is no better way to read a Christmas present than with a bar of chocolate when you should be doing something scholastic and productive. But on a more serious note, I can remember VERY well clicking on a random one-shot by a random member, and being so surprised at how good it was! And then moving onto SA and continuing to be blown away, and then being so pleasantly surprised when you turned up on the forums and we struck up a few conversations. And look how far we've come! ♥ I'll always be proud to have "discovered" you as a newbie, dear Isobel.

And this story. Oh my goodness, this story. I'm potentially going to be really, really selfish here but this story felt so completely tailor-made to me that even before the first paragraph was done, it gave me chills. I don't even know how you managed to get ME so accurately, but absolutely everything -- the hair, the book, the large mug of coffee, the hatred of bent corners in books, and the probability that I would someday write a Snape biography -- I want to cry with how perfect it is. And since this is my present I am going to hope that it is on purpose, and if not, I will pretend it is, because this truly made my entire week. I am blathering like an idiot, but it is the only thing I can think to do.

But Eileen was done so well too, and even though I've only written about her briefly, and hardly read anything else about her, it just seemed right, the way you told the story from her viewpoint here. Somehow it never occurred to me that she could very well have outlived her son, and that is very bittersweet. But I love that she sought me (yay!) out to have me tell Tobias's story too, and that more than anything is what makes me think you got her right: she clearly loved her husband, enough to want someone to tell his story. And I will never for a second believe that Eileen Prince did not love Tobias Snape, no matter what kind of a man he's hinted at being.

Your writing style is, as always, lovely. ♥ In a thousand words you're able to put me there in that coffee shop, and maybe it's the mix of second and first person that does it -- I don't know WHAT it is, but it works. It's been a long time since I've read fan fiction that's placed me so wholly in a location, and maybe it's just time for me to read more fan fiction, but it felt like you weren't pretending to write as anyone but you in this story. And that may be confusing, or pretentious, but sometimes I get the sense authors are hiding behind pretty words to paint their story false. Here, it's not that way at all. And I'm rambling again, but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS, ISOBEL. ♥ I can say it until I'm blue in the face and it won't feel like enough, but honestly, I cannot tell you what it means to me that you were willing to write me a Christmas story. You're a truly wonderful friend, and even though we haven't talked as much lately, I want you to know that I still consider you one. :) We'll have to catch up VERY soon! Love you, and thank you again!!

Author's Response: Hehe, procrastination is always terribly fun! :P I still remember your reviews on the original version of SA, and of The Badger's Den, and they were so encouraging and positive that I credit you as one of the people who made me want to stay on HPFF and become a part of the family ♥

You aren't being selfish at all! In fact, the whole idea of you writing a Snape biography came from 350k words of Sneth; I just couldn't see anyone else as devoted to the topic, and since this is your present, I decided to create a character based on you. ♥ I'm really pleased that it made your week, although shush - you certainly aren't blathering like an idiot; your review is absolutely lovely. ♥ As for how I got you so accurately - it's well-known that you adore books, coffee and Snape; the way your hair behaved and the corners were educated guesses.

I'm firmly convinced that Eileen and Tobias loved each other, despite what we see in Snape's memory. Something that a lot of people tend to forget is that it was only one memory - if the only thing you knew of James and Lily was the memory where Snape called her a Mudblood, you wouldn't believe they got married and had a son, would you? Plus, I remembered you saying you found writing mental issues fascinating in Ad Venenum, so I sat down and used that knowledge to come up with a plausible explanation for Tobias' actions in that memory. (And yes, you can take that as a hint.)

Thank you so very much! ♥ The mix of second and first person, I have to credit to Nicole (teh tarik) and her one-shot Sanguini, the Vampire, which inspired it - but I quite like it! And that comment is actually correct - I'm probably going to sound really pretentious here, but while I was writing the prologue and sections of the interludes and epilogue, I wrote as if I was Eileen talking to you - in fact, there's quite a lot of resemblances between her and me, and although I didn't plan it at all I'm still grateful that you like it! ♥

I consider you a wonderful friend too (yes, we'll have to catch up very soon!) and since you inspired so much of my writing and have been so encouraging all through the year, a Christmas story seemed an excellent way to express my thanks. I just hope that you continue to love Equilibrium! ♥

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Review #5, by TenthWeasleySleepwalk: dead-weight

18th October 2013:
Hello -- swinging by for the TGS review exchange!

I was so excited to click on this story and realize that it was a Marauders era. And a Snape/Lily, no less! I'm very partial to anything dealing with either the Marauders or Snape (in case you've never heard, although I'm certainly not quiet about it), and the pair of them together is a winning combination. I can't remember if I've ever read anything of yours, but I've heard from several people that you're a very good writer, too, so that made me even more excited!

And those people did you credit. :) This is very different than any Snape/Lily I can remember reading before, and I'm especially intrigued that you're following canon. Weirdly enough, Snape/Lily only catches my attention when canon is followed, which probably isn't normal for shipping purposes. I think you got both of their characters very well in this first chapter! So many people either overwrite or underwrite Lily, if that makes any sense -- she's either flying off the handle all the time, or she's so insignificant it hardly seems to matter if she's a part of the story or not. You had a really nice balance to her personality.

Your descriptions were also lovely. ♥ Very poetic, and not at all like one normally sees in fan fiction. I've noticed this trend of late, this incorporating more abstract and more literary techniques into fic writing. Lines like this:

And Sirius continues standing there, watching his school unravel, the fag illuminating his face for seconds only, smoke rising like halos.

Its the late dusk where the sun peaks before it crests, orange hazes and a warm cocoon embracing her face.

And shell murmur his, a light caress of summer as winter arrives, the flower blooming out of snow.

Very lovely!

I enjoyed reading this chapter for you. Great job with it, really! The world needs more Marauder-era Snape/Lily (she said selfishly).

Author's Response: Yay! Review exchange :) Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot! I'm so happy you liked this - Snape and Lily are wonderful xx

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Review #6, by TenthWeasleyThis Devilry: Chapter Two

3rd October 2013:
I've returned for chapter 2! And please forgive any typos or strangeness in advance -- I'm writing this review on my phone, and it's often liable to make things wonky.

I'm very pleased that someone's taking the time to explore post-Hogwarts Ginny issues! Which is so weird to say, but like I said in my first review, it's combining two of my favorite fic things (post-Hogwarts and mental illness) very well. I like your trio characterizations so far, too. I'm not sure if it's intentional, but everything about them seems softer and quieter and more delicate. I imagine the stresses of living through a war, especially at their young age, and with their stresses, might make them like that. I liked the brief mentions of Luna and Rolf, too!

I'm very anxious to get into the darker and more twisty parts of this story. :) I have a feeling Ginny will keep her therapy appointment, but that things won't go as planned, or that the nightmares will still persist. I want to see more of them! And more how it's affecting her real life in tangible ways, like her thinking she saw Tom in the supermarket.

A very good second chapter! I'm glad I had the time today to sit down and read it. Keep up the good work and I'll look out for chapter 3 when it arrives!

Author's Response: Hi Rachel!

Ginny is so sadly underused, and the more time I spend with her the more I've grown to like her and find her interesting. I did intend for her and the trio to come across as being a bit more subdued, which is a reflection of the trauma they've been through and their quiet struggle to settle into their adult lives having totally lost any chance at a normal childhood.

The therapy appointment will feature in the next chapter, which is going up today :) You'll have to keep your eyes peeled to see how Ginny's nightmares manifest themselves in new and (hopefully) frightening ways!

Thanks so much for your fabulous review!


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Review #7, by TenthWeasleyThis Devilry: Chapter One

15th September 2013:
Hello! When I saw you'd posted last in the review battle requesting for this story, I had to snap it up at once -- I saw your banner request on TDA and was instantly intrigued, and besides, you know how I am about stories with mental illness! I actually truly can't get enough of them, and I've been turning over ideas in my head for a Ginny-centered mental illness story for a while with no luck. So, needless to say, I'm very excited you're writing one!

I can't wait to see more of the illness aspect of this story, with her dreams and seeing things and all of that. I think you've started it off really well, too, because it wasn't a huge focus in this chapter, even if I have the sense that you'll increase the am-I-going-mad feelings as the story progresses.

And another thing I just genuinely liked about this chapter was how serene it felt, an emotion I think you'll shatter later on... but it worked well here! Some of the first stories I ever read were just post-war family-type fics like this chapter (minus the snake dreams, of course), and I have a soft spot in my heart for them. ♥ And James is absolutely adorable! There's a reason I've written two collections about little kids, and it's not often people write about them, really, at these very young and sweet ages. I do think his speech is a little advanced for a two-and-a-half-year-old, however.

And also -- in canon, Ginny's actually the senior Quidditch correspondent for the Daily Prophet after she and Harry have started their family, not just someone who writes and sends in Quidditch articles. :) Just something I thought I'd mention!

I'm glad I got the chance to read this first chapter of yours! I thoroughly enjoyed it and will be keeping my eye out for a second. Victoire's birthday party, perhaps? Ooh! Now I sense that something will happen there, if you choose to write it, and I'm very eager to see what that'll be.

Great job!

Author's Response: Aww, Rachel! I'm so happy to hear from you! It's great that you're looking forward to seeing what happens with this story, though I am definitely feeling pressure to do well now!

Trust me, Ginny's dreams and visions and the emotions she feels because of them will definitely increase as the plot builds. I tried to portray the dreams as something she's experienced on and off since her possession, except now they've started to occur more frequently and she's seeing things even during her waking hours. It definitely worries her, as it should.

I think the mundane family aspect is really helpful in terms of building the scary elements in the story because it just creates an excellent backdrop of a seemingly normal life that will ultimately be changed. I'm also having fun just exploring adult Ginny and figuring out who she really is. I was a bit worried about James's speech, though I tried to keep it as minimal as possible--I'll have to investigate how I can make him sound a bit more realistic. As for Ginny, I was going for the angle that she works her way up to being senior Quidditch correspondent--I think it'll be an important part of her journey, so stay tuned :)

Victoire's birthday party is coming up, but not right away. I do hope you come back when the second chapter is posted, because I would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks so much for your lovely review!


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Review #8, by TenthWeasleyMagnolia Street: Embers

10th September 2013:
I know I just told you this in a PM, but true story -- I'd just sat down for this chapter (at last!) when I got your PM back, and I swear, it's like we're on the same wavelength or something. I can't tell you how good it feels to be reading this story again! It's just been absolutely ages, and believe you me, I'm not going to let it go so long again!

Lysander. ♥ I have missed him -- all of them, but him especially. He seems to be... not timid about his relationship, but cautious, and I am really loving the fact that he's able to admit his feelings to Lorcan. I love this portrayal of the Scamander brothers, if I haven't already told you; most often when I read them they're quirky as their mother, but this is a very refreshing take. Which is exactly what I need to get me to read next gen in the first place!

And now I am going to be useless and quote your own writing back at you:

A fire! Lorcan had declared, and Lysander made it so. -- I STILL REALLY LOVE THIS LINE. ♥ And I think I know why now, but in one sentence you've absolutely got the boys' differing personalities down pat. Lorcan is the more outgoing and outspoken one, full of ideas and plans and commands, and Lysander calmly acquiesces, because he is more thoughtful and submissive. I just. That one line. Gah.

His fingers moved over and between the others shoulder blades, tracing the linear ridges as if they were familiar. -- Just the image of tracing someone's shoulder blades is so strangely lovely that it made the hairs on my arms stand up a little. You have a way of just HITTING on things in one sentence, and they look so innocent but they say so much, and I am rambling but I love it.

EEE THEY'RE GOING TO DINNER. ♥ And to Magnolia Street, no less! "We'll go from there." I CAN'T. I don't know why I ship them so hard, but I do, and it's like it's coming back full circle, and I am in anticipation for this next chapter. You've left me a promise and I expect you to fulfill it!

Please pardon the excessive capslock. Because in all serious, I am so, so, so happy you're posting this again! A lovely chapter, as your chapters always are!

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Review #9, by TenthWeasleyHow I Saved the Wizarding World with Hair Potions, By Gilderoy Lockhart: Hair-Care Potion Maker Extraordinaire

1st September 2013:
Oh my goodness -- I LOVED this! I was flicking through the recently added stories the other day and came across this one, but I was supposed to be revising and thus didn't click on it. This review swap really was supremely fortunate! I don't remember the last time I read a story that was genuinely so much fun!

I think you've characterized Lockhart here perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. ♥ CoS is one of my favorite books solely because I adore Lockhart throughout it, and he always seemed like he'd be tremendously fun to write. You've done him such credit! He's the perfect blend of lovable and ridiculous, just like in the books. I want to simultaneously pat him on the head and shove him off a cliff, and that's exactly how he made me feel when J.K. Rowling first wrote him, too. And you've stuck to canon so well in general! The hair potions, the smiling, the lilac hat, mentioning hags on holiday. I always wondered why he'd be a Ravenclaw, but one of the things I loved is that you sort of explained that, too! Even if he was shoddy at spellwork, surely the hair care potions count for something, right?

And another thing that strikes me about this story (forgive me, because I feel like I'm just rambling on and on) is how clean and polished and just well-written it was. That's definitely not something you come across often in fan fiction, as I'm sure you know. But honestly, there were almost no grammar or spelling mistakes in this at all, and I can't tell you how HUGE that is for me and how much it makes me respect an author as a whole. When someone takes the time to make their story look that professional, it's a sure bet that I'll want to return and read more from them.

This story was awesome. Absolutely awesome. And I really, really mean that! I'm going to go find a thread to recommend this in so someone else can come across it, and I hope we'll get the chance to do another review swap soon. You really are a good writer!

Author's Response: kjasdofah;s I don't even know where to start - how do I respond to such an amazing review! Really, this is so nice! ♥

I'm so glad you liked the characterisation of Lockhart. You're right, he was a lot of fun to write! He's such an oblivious and silly narrator and I really enjoyed writing that. (And yes, I think he probably could have been quite good at Potions, when he wasn't being distracted by his own reflection, of course.) I can't tell you how thrilled I am that the way I wrote him reminded you of the way JKR wrote him - eeep! I'm so flattered, thank you!

All your compliments about my writing are going to inflate my head until I float away, I think. :P I'm so honoured that you would recommend the story! Thanks so much for reading, and for being my 100th review!!!

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Review #10, by TenthWeasleyPeriphery: Periphery

17th August 2013:
Hi, Kiana -- here to review you for the TGS review exchange!

People really don't mention Barty Crouch enough in stories, let alone write stories entirely centered around him, and I was pretty intrigued when I saw that your story for this month's exchange dealt with him. The old Ravenclaw collab was a Barty-centric story, so I've read (and written) a bit about him, but I somehow loved the fact that you put it into second person. That's actually one of my favorite writing techniques, and not a lot of people can pull it off; it can sometimes be really challenging. But for a character like Barty, who can seem sometimes incomprehensible, the second person allows the reader into his head to see what he's thinking, and I thought it was a really excellent choice of storytelling!

The last section is my absolute favorite -- bleak and depressing, but wonderful for all that. ♥ It's so heartbreaking, too, because that's where the entire story comes to a close. How painful would it be, to know that your own family was, in the end, what led you to where you ended up? And then there's the idea of Barty's mother's role in canon, too, but obviously that doesn't come into play in this one-shot. I don't really know what I'm trying to say anymore, but there's just such emotion in, what, four lines? I got a little bit teary thinking about it. They were very hard-hitting, and that's what I look for in a story.

Death Eaters all have a reason for ending up where they do. Some are mad, some are power-hungry... And that's the great thing about fan fiction. We're allowed to explore that. Why don't more people explore that? I find it fascinating! And in your story, Barty Crouch Jr.'s father is almost more of the villain for not saving his son. I am nearly incomprehensible with love for that twist.

Wow. This review was a bit... less than desired. But honestly, I loved reading this, and I'm very glad I got the chance to. ♥

Author's Response: Hey Rachel!

I noticed that too, that's why I was really glad when I was given him in the challenge because I really hadn't thought about him at all but now was my chance. Don't bring up the collab it will only trigger guilt of having not read it! I'm really glad that you liked my choice of narrative, as it just somehow seemed to fit him. It was actually a ton of fun to write so I definitely want to try it out again!

The last section is my favourite too! I know how you feel, because I felt I became a lot closer to Barty in this one-shot so I almost wanted to make it AU so he could have happy life away from everything. I'm sorry I made you teary, but I guess it was good teary in a way :P

I'm so glad that you loved the twist, as it's so much fun to explore it from another perspective! Thank you for this wonderful review, Rachel! ♥

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Review #11, by TenthWeasleyThe M Word: Epilogue

20th July 2013:
I've just finished reading this story at one in the morning (what's the point of summer if you don't stay up late reading fan fiction?), and even though I'm not sure if you still check reviews anymore, I wanted to tell you anyway just how much I enjoyed it! It's not enough for an author to get me to start reading something if they want to guarantee I'll finish it, but luckily this was one of the stories that was unique and great enough to capture me from beginning to end.

I adore AU stories, and I love the way you handled this one! The dystopic, sadistic Hogwarts you showed us was horrific at the same time it was intriguing, and I think your best aspect was the way you skillfully wrote the mystery and suspense of the plot. Brilliantly handled! And with great twists, too -- everything from the revealing of the clones to Luna's involvement, and that very last line about Draco returning to 1995 with Hermione's clone. You kept me always guessing, and that truly is something to be proud of being able to do!

This was a great read. :D And I'm glad I did read it! Whatever you're doing now, I hope you're still out there writing!

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Review #12, by TenthWeasleyA Love Without End: A Love Without End

4th July 2013:
THIS. This is Ron as he's meant to be written -- not stupid, not useless, not angry, not jealous. There are too many instances of a bad Ron on this site, and that's what makes this story read almost at once like a breath of fresh air. I think it's even better that the story's not through his eyes, too, because we can see his growth and his character even more clearly through his son's eyes. Ron is one of my favorite characters in the series, and there's so much more to him that people give him credit for. You made him so strong, coping with the world after Hermione's death -- and more than that, fighting through the grief to be there for his children in a way that made me so, so proud of him. I have so many feelings for him right now. ♥

There's so much uniqueness to this story, too: Tony's being a Squib, the fact that the Weasley/Granger kids aren't strictly set out as Rose-and-Hugo. This is a glimpse into next generation that I miss sorely, because hardly anyone writes it, and yet this is ten times more compelling to me than a thousand romantic comedy Al/OCs. These are all real people, threaded with real emotions, and the grieving process is wonderfully written. I feel so bad for Ron, but then there are those feelings of pride, because he does love his children. His actions speak so, so loudly in that regard.

I swore to myself that no matter how sad this was I wasn't going to tear up. (You did say "kinda sad" but I tear up at TV commercials, which is to say everything makes me cry!) And I thought I was going to make it, but then we hit the image of Ron altering the dress robes in his Chudley Cannons sweatshirt, shamelessly sewing, and I could feel my throat close up. That was my favorite part of the whole story. It's wonderful, absolutely wonderful, and wonderfully Ron. Without reading any further, you proved to me his love for his children. Without even using the word love, and that hits a lot on a conversation I had with a group of people today -- but I digress, of course.

This is why your other one-shot still makes me revisit it down and again, two and a half years since I first read it. This is powerful! You say a lot in a small amount of words, and you make me think. This was beautiful. I'm so glad I read it. I'm so glad you were online so I could be shoved in this direction again!

Author's Response: Okay, I'm still in awe from this review! That's partly why it's taken me so long to reply. I just don't know what to say in the face of so many nice things. I've just kinda been blushing like a fool for days now. But I will try to do my best to reply to his amazing review.

I love Ron. He's not my all time favorite (we all know who those are) but he's Ron, and a Weasley, and what's not to love about him? He's got a bit of a bumbling characteristic about him, but I get so sick and tired of people taking that and turning him into either an idiot or a fool. He's brave, and loyal, and smart. Sure, he's hot-headed, but try and tell me Harry isn't as well. So, I really do try to do Ron justice when I write him so as not to perpetuate the bad Ron stuff out there.

As for this story being through Tony's eyes, and not using the canon kids for Ron and Hermione, I didn't consciously plan that. I just had this image in my head of Ron alone, having to fix all these little girl's hair, and from that sprang this fic. It didn't work, though, until Tony jumped into my head and started telling the story. And then it all fell into place. Funny how stories can do that sometimes, isn't it.

Well, that's probably not ENTIRELY true. I have issues with the "epilogue" and all the other stuff we've learned about characters since the books ended. While it's fun to learn how the characters could have ended up, I don't really like knowing it all. Half the fun of reading a book and falling in love with characters is the ability to imagine how the story goes on once the pages end. I really dislike having it all spelled out for me. Doesn't give me any room to play. I knew Ron and Hermione were going to end up together by book two, and I had their family all planned out in my head, because I knew the books weren't going to go that far anyway. And then I don't get that chance anymore. I guess that's selfish of me, considering they are JKR's characters and she can do what she likes with them, but I'm an odd duck that way. That's why I've never been able to get into next generation fics very well - I don't feel any connection to the characters because to me they feel wrong.

Sorry about the tears, btw. I should have told you to bring tissues. Of course, I did say it was sad, so I tried to warn you. And thanks again for more wonderful compliments. I think my head has swollen beyond what is healthy from all of this.

And I should tell you the fact that you go back and re-read "Silence" made my day. Heck, it made my month. I don't get a lot of reviews anymore, which is my own fault for not updating, but it is so nice to know people are going back and re-reading stuff even if I'm slow.

Thank you so much for granting my review request! It was a lovely gift!

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Review #13, by TenthWeasleyFlight of the Heart: A Chance Meeting

17th June 2013:
Jami! I've been eyeing this story for weeks now -- I even took peeks at your chapter image requests over on TDA -- and I'm pleased as punch to have an opportunity to pop over and review this for you at last. Oliver/OC was one of the first things to get me into reading fic, and I'm so glad to be reading one after such a long hiatus from it!

Right off the bat, I love your Oliver. ♥ Most of the Oliver/OC stories I've read in my time have been focused around him at Hogwarts, and I don't have a lot of experience with an older version of him (so you best watch out or this'll become my headcanon!). In a slightly sad way, I like the fact that he's been put off Keeping in favor of managing because of an injury. He is only twenty-nine, but the reality is that's pretty old for an athlete, and it seems a kind of natural way for things to have ended up. (I'm now paranoid because this sounds really familiar and maybe it's actually canon and I'm mixing up my canon with my fan fiction again. HELP.)

And oh my gosh, Aidan is to die for! SO adorable. :D I ship Oliver/Mia so hard right now, if only so Aidan can have Oliver as a stepfather and adore him forever. But now I'm curious about Mia's background, too -- where Aidan's father is, and why she keeps to herself, and whether or not she's going to fall in love with Oliver (which she simply must do, you know). Oliver was so sweet with Aidan, it should make any woman fall in love with him, period. Giving Fred and Angelina's tickets to him just so he could go to the match! Okay, he sort of had an ulterior motive, but he also just really seemed to like Aidan and if you can't tell by now, I am hardcore shipping that bromance. If it's a bromance at all.

I liked the way you described things in this story, too -- it wasn't over the top, which really made me happy because that seems to be a plague running amok in the fan fiction world, but it did enough so that I could see where your story was set and who it was about in my head. Which is, I think, very important for reading, and you did it all very naturally, so well done there!

I have nothing bad to say about this story. :D And I hope that I get the chance to review the second chapter for you before too long! More Aidan is much needed on this end of the screen. :) Great work!

Author's Response: Hi Rachel! I was so happy when I saw that you'd tagged me!

It's nice to know I'm not the only stalked at TDA. If I'm trying to procrastinate, I'll just scroll through banner requests and see if there's anyone i know requesting, haha!

Oliver/OC is oddly something I never gave much thought about. But then when I got the idea for this story, he clicked perfectly into place! And I'm pretty much in the dark with adult Oliver. I've never read anything featuring him, so this is definitely a new adventure!

Those were my thoughts exactly; twenty-nine is old for an athlete! Hahhah no you aren't mixing up canon with FF. Canon has like nothing about him, which was sort of scary! But I do that so much, wonder if something is actually canon and I've just forgotten :P.

Aidan is the whole reason I wanted to start this story. I'm not sure if I mentioned before that I work with kids, and they're something I know really well. I'm sure I'll start getting pouty when I finish up with my current clients and stop working temporarily, so I'm going to take out those pouty feels on Aidan :P.

I'm really excited that I opened up a nice amount of curiosity in this first chapter! I'm still a bit worried about it being too slow, but I guess sometimes that's unavoidable with the start. Hahah I agree that he did really enjoy Aidan and had an ulterior motive for the tickets. Men are sneaky... well, actually they think they're sneaky. At least they try :P.

Aww it makes me so happy that you like Mia/Oliver, Mia/Aidan/Oliver. I'm a sucker for happy endings, so I can't pretend like there probably won't be on here :P! And you know how depressing writing Marauders gets. We have NO HOPE for the majority of our characters, so having something to work on that has a chance of ending happy is definitely nice.

Knowing it felt natural but still gave you a good picture is such an awesome compliment. I've been finding my style over the past few months I think, and as fun as it is to write extreme sorts of descriptions in a story, it's not what I enjoy the most. I really like just trying to get a story to start playing out and keeping the reader focused, and honestly I just don't have much of a talent for really descriptive metaphors or similes. haha!

This review was such an awesome treat, and I can't tell you how happy I am that you enjoyed this first chapter! Hopefully you'll see my on your AP very soon! I've been trying to wait until I'll have time to give you good, long reviews. But I'm getting impatient and might just have to throw out that idea and instead squee for a few paragraphs then continue on, haha.

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Review #14, by TenthWeasleyThe Society: Scarlet In the Midst Of Monochrome

11th June 2013:
Hello! This was a perfect opportunity, coming across your name again in the review battle. :) I'd been meaning to come back and read this chapter anyway! I saw your response to my review of the first chapter, too, and it was absolutely lovely. ♥ Thank you so much!

I've got to express appreciation again for the way you write, both descriptively and just in the fact that you have great mastering of spelling and punctuation and grammar and all those sorts of things. :D It makes a read so much more enjoyable, and it's a lot easier to concentrate on the story itself that way. I'm very impressed by the maturity of this story! Some of that is derived from the subject matter, I suppose, but it also comes from the way you turn a phrase. Lines like this one:

Who knew what evils were lurking behind the locks? -- I don't know why, but I just really liked the way you said that. :) Your descriptions are lovely, too, and I LOVE the mental image of Persephone as a spot of red among black and white (which actually happens to be my favorite color combination!). The burgundy walls spotted by lamps, the iron curlicues on the door -- they all lend a darkness and mystery to your story, and you never had to say it outright once. That's the sort of description that I love to see, because it makes me feel invested in the story. I'm there, and I want to know what happens!

And of course the menacing Society and all its members -- I love the names and characteristics you gave to all of its Directors! They were all very vivid and unique and forbidding, and I don't think it's too assertive of me to assume that's exactly what you were going for, so well done. I think my favorite thing in this chapter, character-wise, was how you made Arnold, a character who looked so creepy into the first chapter, into one of the better men in this one. That was an interesting turnaround, and I actually really liked it!

And David Weatherly! Just WHO is this man, and what's his history with Persephone? What exactly is the Society going to ask her to do, and why? How does her family and past connect with her present? I've got so many questions and none of the answers, and that's such a good thing; it means that I'm going to be back and searching for them among your future updates. ;) You've got great lead-ins to a really good mystery story at work here!

Seriously, seriously well done; I enjoyed this chapter just as much as the first, if not more! It's fair to say that I'll be hunting for hints of an update around the forums. I'm very interested to read more of your story, and when you do get a chance to update, I hope that you'll let me know!

Author's Response: You've come back? Really?! Yay! :D

Thank you so much for your compliments about my spelling/grammar/description! I'm kind of a rookie fanfiction writer, but I've written many an essay in literature classes, and those have seemed to go a long way in helping me describe things. I really wanted to make the story sound a little bit antique, and I tried to do that with phrases that I thought sounded old-ish. I'm glad you thought they were effective!!

Red/black/white is actually a color combination at the school I'll be attending in the future. Well, it's more a crimson color, but... I'm so glad that you picked up on the air of mystery that I was trying to give the place. It's still a mystery to me, because I haven't fully explored its depths yet! I am certainly waiting just as much as you to find out what will happen--this story seems to have a mind of its own when I sit down to write it!!

The Directors!! I really, really hate them, mostly because I identify too much with Persephone (not the oppressive "Society" part, but the slightly defiant part!), and I wrote them to be really creepy and forbidding indeed!! Arnold probably turned around just a bit too quickly, I think, but he wanted to show his tutee some respect. I'll probably have a few flashbacks to explain his character in the coming chapters!

David!!! He's really rude right now, but he'll play a really significant role in the story, as will Persephone's background and the demands of the Society. Do I know what those are yet? ...No, but hopefully I will very soon! I will definitely let you know when the next chapter is out!!

Thank you so much for showing such an interest in my story. It really, really means a lot to me. :)

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Review #15, by TenthWeasleyBefore Evening the Score: The Warning

8th June 2013:
Hello there! :) I was really excited to get a chance to read more from your author's page, since I loved what I got to read for you for the Secret Santa exchange.

And thank you for pointing me to this story, too, because this is such a neat premise! I adore mystery stories, and there aren't too many (finished) ones on HPFF. You've set it up perfectly so far, as far as I'm concerned -- leading into the mystery itself, building suspense about what's going to happen when the score hits 100-100... I suspect, from your summary, that it's got something to do with Amelia Aubin, but I have no idea what and now I want to know! And I want to know what Czarny's deal is, too. Ugh. I have just remembered that, while I love them, mystery stories are infuriating. :P

I really like the fact that your little crime-solving duo is Tonks and Moody, too, because just like there aren't enough mystery stories, there aren't enough stories concerning the pair of them. I was actually thinking only an hour or two ago that I wanted to seek out a Tonks story to read, and this really couldn't have come at a more perfect time! Both of them were wonderfully in character, speaking and body language and all. Poor Kenneth Jempton, though... but not really, because we all know Tonks belongs with Lupin. ;)

Much, much too short of a chapter! I have no idea how you're going to wrap all this up in three chapters, but I really want to return and find out. This was such a good lead-in to your story, and that's the second time this week I've been envious over a first chapter. I struggle with them, and it's always awesome to read well-written ones!

So glad I came after you in the review battle today! ♥ I'll be back at the first opportunity to find out more!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the lovely review! And I'm sorry for the late reply. You make me want to go back and finish this story once and for all... I wrote it all in one go, except for the very end. I posted two chapters, then couldn't decide on a proper ending, so I just left it... after promising myself a hundred times that I'd finish this one! I don't consider myself good at beginnings at all, so it's really nice to hear that you liked it, let alone were envious of it.

I've wanted to write Tonks and Moody for ages, I think they have a lovely chemistry. I don't think I'm close to mastering it, but it's enjoyable to write, all the same.

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Review #16, by TenthWeasleyWeasley Spinster: Spinster For Life

7th June 2013:
Here for the review battle! I was just browsing the filled requests at TDA (which is something odd I like doing) and I recognized your banner, so I thought I might as well give the story a shot while I was here. :)

I can honestly say that I've never read the story with a premise like this, but speaking as someone who's only ever had a handful of dates and no proper boyfriend, I can somewhat empathize with the idea of a spinster! You're right, too, that there aren't very many stories centered around Victoire, and even fewer that don't have a Teddy Lupin element to them. That's not a bad thing, of course, but as someone who doesn't generally choose to read a lot of next gen in the first place, it's nice to have something more refreshing.

I liked the way you styled this first chapter, as sort of introduction to Victoire from the perspective of an omniscient narrator. I've read a lot of stories where the narrator speaks directly to the reader, and sometimes that's difficult to pull off, but I didn't see a problem with it here. :) She seems really spunky and lively, if perhaps a touch obnoxious -- but that's not a slight against your writing. You're working with an understandably obnoxious characterization!

That IQ line is brilliant, too -- I love Sherlock and that was a nice reference. It'll be neat to read more of her voice, too, as that'll really pave the way for her personality and your writing to shine! This was a fairly short introduction, but I don't think it needed to be any longer. And now your readers are all geared up to hear more from your characters!

I enjoyed this -- isn't it nice how things work out sometimes, my seeing this banner on TDA only an hour earlier? Always glad to leave a review!

Author's Response: I can't believe I'm responding to this so late but hello! I like to browse the completed requests as well, I have nothing to do sometimes so I go and look at the pretty stuff that everyone else makes.

The idea of ending up as a spinster is very closely related to me as well. I have yet to go on an actual date with someone. I think I scare away all of the males because I'm a blunt sort of person who's not a pushover. That and the fact that my personality isn't exactly top notch and I'm not the prettiest flower out there probably contributes to the fact that I will mostly live with lots of cats. But enough of my waffling.

I never knew how much fun it would be to write crabby characters who practically spit fire. I am proud to say that I am contributing to the Victoire Weasley stories where there's no Teddy.

I've always found stories where the narrator is speaking directly to the reader really fun to read. I wanted to try writing this way and it means a lot to me that I've managed to pull it off.

Anyway, I'm glad that you enjoyed the first chapter and thank you for the feedback and for reviewing!

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Review #17, by TenthWeasleyThe Society: No Turning Back

4th June 2013:
Popping by with a review from the review battle!

Right away I've got to tell you that this is one of the most engaging stories I've come across on HPFF in a long time, and I'm very glad this was the link I clicked in your signature. You got an air of suspense across extremely well, and it was a near-perfect way to engage readers and make them want to come back for more; as someone who personally struggles with first chapters, I'm rather jealous! It wasn't long-winded but neither was it short enough for me to feel slighted, like you hadn't told me enough.

Your use of description was lovely, and it really painted the scene. The way you described Persephone's surroundings reflected her and the other characters in a subtle way -- you didn't need to tell us what she was feeling, because the rain and the dark conveyed the nerves and anxiety very well. That's the definition of "show, don't tell" and I've really got to take my hat off to you for doing it so aptly! Are you quite sure this is your first story?

I wish I had time right now to click over to the second chapter and read more, because I've got loads of questions! I want to know exactly what the Society is (a precursor to the Death Eaters, perhaps?), and why Persephone must join it, and how she'll cope. This intrigues me like no story on this site's intrigued me for some time, and I say that with all sincerity.

You're quite honestly a very talented writer, and this first chapter was a joy to read! ♥ I mean that very sincerely. Please do keep up the brilliant work, and I mean to make my way back over to this story before too long!

Author's Response: *looks at reviewers name, then looks again to make sure it's not a dream*

*then squeals*

E!!! Thank you so much for this lovely review!! You're probably one of the best authors on this site, and it means so much to see that you've said all of this nice stuff to little old me! In fact, I chose to respond to this review last because every time I read it, I would be rendered incapable of coherent thought. :)

*contains enthusiasm slightly*

Thank you so very much for saying that this is an engaging story. This was my very first story, and when I started it, I just pounded down the chapter in one sitting. Today, it's almost the same as it was when I first wrote it. I don't know what it was that made it turn out so well, but I'm thankful for it. I think that it's the second, third, fourth, and so on chapters that I have trouble with. :)

Thank you for complimenting my description!!! I honestly don't know where it came from, but I think that the best ideas often come out of thin air. I did leave a lot of questions in this chapter, and I can assure you that I didn't do that on purpose. I just wrote haphazardly, and now I'm stuck with having to work everything out. At this point, I've got so much to decide about the plot, but seeing your lovely review has made all of that worth it. I certainly hope that you find the time to read more. :)

Thank you so much for all of your wonderful compliments!! I think that you're an amazingly talented writer, too--definitely one of the best.

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Review #18, by TenthWeasleyLook Again: F.G.

16th May 2013:
I love reading stories about the Death Eaters -- and here, you most definitely did not disappoint. There's a lot more to most of them in that the seeming evil on the surface masks a lot of hidden emotions, and I think you nailed that really well with Fenrir Greyback in this first story. Interestingly enough, he's probably one of the Death Eaters I myself haven't explored as far as his motivations are concerned, but I think you tackled them adeptly.

It just makes a lot of sense to me that one of the things that would most drive him to be such a vicious werewolf was loneliness. Remus always had his friends, the Order, and Tonks, and never needed to create werewolves for fear of being lonely if he didn't. His parents didn't kick him out of the house; Dumbledore didn't kick him out of school. But if the circumstances were different, it's not at all hard to believe that he might have ended up something a bit like Greyback.

I also really liked how the story ended, too; it's like we saw a breaking down of this man's tough exterior. At the beginning of the story he was untouchable, invincible... and by the end he knew indubitable fear, perhaps for the first time ever. In one thousand words you turned him from a monstrous beast into something human. And that's really a fantastic accomplishment!

Your writing style in this story fit the actual events very well, too. It was detached, but not detached enough for the reader to feel disinterested in the story. I actually really found myself enjoying this, and before too long I'd love to return and read the other two installments. If you've written them to be anything like this one, I already know they'll be great commentaries on hidden natures of characters that pretty much all get painted with the same brush in the books.

Thank you for asking me to read this! I'm not sure I'd ever have read it otherwise, and then I'd have missed out on a good piece of writing. Here's hoping I get the chance to return before too long! :)

Author's Response: Well, thank you for completely making my day!

I know how you feel - I love reading about Death Eaters.

I loved creating the parallels between Remus and Fenrir, and showing how differently people with the same basic background can turn out through their experiences.

The breaking down of Fenrir was really my goal for this particular chapter, so I'm glad you picked up on it! I think that there are so many layers to a person, and it's really fun to peel those back and get to the core.

I'm glad the writing style fit the story, as I didn't want it to be too attached to the character, but not too far away either.

Thanks so much for reviewing this! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

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Review #19, by TenthWeasleyDevil's Snare: Beyond the Pale

12th May 2013:

It is, of course, a brilliant explanation for how she got to be her canon self, and it sort of reminds me of how everyone transforms back to their human selves at the end of Beauty and the Beast, which again shows just how apt you are at putting spins on fairy tales and how you just need to keep doing that forever. But aside from all of that, I for some reason just had this feeling that you wouldn't kill her. Maybe that would have been the thing that had broken him, or at least helped to break him: The one that got away. But I suppose he's twisted enough without that, isn't he?

Forever jealous of the way you're able to sprinkle little hints and foreshadows throughout your story. I didn't even think to look up the meaning of begonia, but I love the meaning it has! AND THEN. Transforming Sprout into a begonia makes it almost like it's a warning for him, doesn't it? Because she's going to come back, even though he doesn't know it, and she's not gone for good and she'll fight against him. Maybe I'm reading into things, but I love the depth of your stories. I feel like I've said this before, but they are never just surface material. There is always more going on than meets the eye.

Also my heart was completely racing during that chase scene. I think it's got something to do with te fact that being chased, as you know, LITERALLY TERRIFIES ME OUT OF MY SKULL (tied with living dolls, I'll have you know), but also because you just write action and action-based emotions extremely well. That's something you proved in Run and I am so, so jealous of it. ♥

Take as many pieces of me as you want. More will remain behind, I assure you. -- FAVORITE LINE IN THE WHOLE CHAPTER. Holy cow, I got goosebumps. That sort of just puts it into perspective how freaking terrifying Tom Riddle actually was, because he was legitimately ensuring that he would never, ever, ever die, no matter how many people tried to kill him. Thank God some people actually tried to figure out what Horcruxes were, because oh my gosh, can you even imagine.

I am incoherent. Absolutely so. I adored this story, and I'm so sad it's over, and I don't want you to stop writing it. I want you to stay and write more things so I can write bad reviews for them and love your writing always.

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Review #20, by TenthWeasleyDevil's Snare: A Study In Impulse Control

1st May 2013:
Okay, Tom, you creepy bugger. I must confess that I was less attracted to him here and much more repulsed than normal, but then I expect that was the desired end result. Anyone attracted to someone who is basically a slave to an insane and murderous fever might need a CAT scan or three. And now that I'm thinking it on it, he probably seems less attractive because he's letting himself slip more and more as far as the front he's putting on goes. And bless her, when she's not under his little charms, she's starting to notice, too. That probably scares the heck out of him, the prospect of failure. Scratch that, I KNOW it scares the heck out of him. And so he goes all creepy and sweaty and diary-writing, and it makes me want to squirm.

I love how you're setting up Pomona to be Professor Sprout! It's still such an incongruous image in my mind, that, but mostly because the movies did a pretty good job of nailing my brain-image for how she was supposed to look, and somehow you've written romance into a person I never imagined as romantic. I sort of want to weep for her and pull her away from Tom and scream all sorts of warnings at her, but I am banking on what you said in your last review response about her being able to hold her own. I still actually have no idea whether you're going to make this completely AU or not (and I checked your genre tags after my last review and there was much gnashing of teeth to see you'd marked that down as one of them), so I am going to hold my breath and close my eyes and keep my fingers perpetually crossed until next Tuesday. ♥

DID HE ACTUALLY IMPERIO HER OR PUT A SPELL ON HER OR SOMETHING, THOUGH. Ugh, there is so much morally wrong with the Imperius Curse. That is probably the most horrible spell out there; Avada Kedavra is the kindest of the three Unforgivable Curses, absolutely. How anyone can think that being tortured out of your skull, or forced to do absolutely anything without your control, is less scary than a quick and painless death... That does not make sense to me. Being someone's puppet would be absolutely terrifying, puppet imagery aside.

At least Mafalda's got a brain in her head! Cutting, underhanded comments or not, she knows what's up, and she'd better steer Pomona away from Tom. Fast. Because she is just too innocent for bad things to happen to her. :(

Now that I have sufficiently hacked away in rambles for fifteen minutes, I'll spare you more headaches. LOVELY CHAPTER. ♥ And eeek, only one more to go! It doesn't feel like things should be wrapping up just yet. Where did time go?

Author's Response: I am going to pull something I have not done in a long time, because my brain is squishy.

I once had an owner who fled
Because he had business to tend
I now sit in a hut
With a slavering mutt
And groan under the weight of six men.

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Review #21, by TenthWeasleyDevil's Snare: Mr. Riddle's Stars

28th April 2013:
SO I TOTALLY READ THIS ON WEDNESDAY IN CLASS AND THOUGHT I HAD LEFT YOU A REVIEW ON THIS AND I AM JUST NOW DISCOVERING THAT I HAVEN'T. I told you this review was going to be late but oh my gosh, I didn't mean this late. I beg your forgiveness. ♥

I think the thing that strikes me most about this chapter is just how detached Tom is from basically being human -- which is a very canon quality, even though he's not nearly Lord Voldemort (yet). It makes me want to further explore him just because no one else has like this: What makes him tick, what he's thinking behind unreadable expressions. Lines like this:

But he knew, on an annoyingly conscious level, that most men did not have to think about the act of smiling before engaging in it.

That is CREEPY. And psychopathic, like you mentioned. I feel like when a lot of people write Riddle, or Voldemort, they forget the motivations behind him and just show a vapid, two-dimensional villain who's evil for the sake of being evil. And that's not who he is at all. Riddle knows exactly what he's doing and why he's doing it and how he's doing it, and that is scarier than a man who's lost control of his senses -- evil for the sake of evil -- any day.

And poor Pomona, being sucked in by it all -- but I do cheer for her at the spare moments when she does seem to notice that something is amiss. I have no idea if you're going to go AU or not, if Riddle's really going to make her bite the dust, but I'm sort of hoping not. Not just for the obvious reasons of not wanting characters to die, but think how that'd drive her in the canon days: Knowing who he is, and that he's back. That would add a whole new dimension to her character and I already want to read about her with that extra layer slapped on.

Adding in here that your last paragraph was absolutely horrific/wonderful, and that is one of the most gruesome images ever. AND THERE'S THE DIARY, I SEE IT. Ooh -- does Pomona die to create one of his Horcruxes, maybe?! Are you going completely AU? (Bloody teeth, oh my goodness, that is horrifying.)

Ugh. I am so, so sorry again for how long it took me to review this. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I FORGOT I HADN'T REVIEWED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. My brain is mush and I just want to go home and anyway. This was lovely. But I always expect the best from you, and you always deliver!

Author's Response: WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO LEAVE A REVIEW IN THE FIRST PLACE! ♥ Seriously, it's enough that you read it. (hug)

Now that I'm reading this review for the second or third time, it's struck me that I draw inspiration for Tom's detachment from the feeling I get after watching an episode of Mad Men. Which sounds insane. But I swear to God, every time I've finished watching an episode of that show I literally feel like I have no soul. (WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING) Some of the characters do such senselessly /bad/ things with no remorse whatsoever and their moral compass is like, nonexistent. I get an actual void in my brain from sitting through an hour of that and that void is what comes to mind when I regard Tom Riddle. Just an inhuman black pit whose only emotions are base, selfish, child-like ones: I want this, so I will say whatever I can to get it.

One-note villains who're bad just because they want to be bad don't interest me. Voldemort got a little less dimensional with age, I think, and from his horcruxes. But when he was young and we saw Dumbledore visit him at the orphanage, that's where you get that glimpse of what lurks beneath. And it's fascinating. The wardrobe on fire with a tin of stolen items, the boasting about the things he can do - his true self before he discovered that he'd let too much slip in his moment of excitement. He spent the next seven years glossing over those characteristics with practiced smiles and flattery, but it's all still there. Eeep, I just love it.

I can't remark on what will happen with Pomona, obviously, but she's got a little more strength and determination than she lets on. I'm very fond of her.

♥ You are the best.

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Review #22, by TenthWeasleyIt's Not Love: When It All Began

26th April 2013:
Hello! Here for you from the review tag!

I'm not a huge fan of next generation and I don't read a lot of it, but I thought I'd give this story a try for you. You've set up quite an interesting premise for the story already and deftly skirted the arranged marriage issue, so bravo on that. :)

Your original character seems spunky and has a lot of character, and it's clear that you enjoy writing her -- which is always a good thing to be able to tell! I've never read someone quite like her, either, and uniqueness and originality are good things to have to set your character apart.

A thing I would comment on is that you do sometimes tend to overuse commas when they aren't needed. As an example:

The room, itself, is heavily decorated with antiques -- The word "itself" doesn't need to be separated by commas, and there a lot of similar instances throughout your story when you separate a single word with commas when you don't need to. Sometimes it is necessary, and it's a bit tricky to set out rules for when to use them and when not to. Commas are always tricky, and there are about a thousand and one rules on how to use them. Study the books you read and how the authors use commas in their writing there -- reading books is the best way to learn how to write yourself! It's how I did it.

The spaces for this chapter are also rather big, but I used to have that issue as well! Nothing a bit of formatting can't fix, but it's just something to be aware of.

Anyway! I hope this review has been of some help to you. :) And I'll be seeing you around!

Author's Response: Heyy, thankyou soo much. I will surely take you up on the advise I have some comma issues to be honest :p
BUT IM SO GLAD THAT YOU LIKE MY CHARACTER cause she's who I am in real. It's kinda fun imagining yourself in such situations to be honest. And as you find her unique, *free cookies for you* :D
Thankyou once again.

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Review #23, by TenthWeasleyHeart's Desire: Beauty

20th April 2013:
Oh, this was so pretty, Amanda! And there was a dark edge under it all that I loved even more, because dark stories draw me -- beautiful, but with a bite. It is a very fitting tone for the subject of the story, and I think you pulled it off really well, like you always do.

I don't know who this woman is in particular, and I feel like she's a character of your own invention, but I still felt like there was something about her I could relate to. We all have our moments, though, don't we? As little girls we're trained to grow up and achieve love and be satisfied with that, and some may argue but worlds of Disney movies and fairy tales say otherwise. When we don't rise to meet those expectations, a part of us feels as though we've failed. It's almost scary to know that this woman has to resort to drinking love potion in front of a mirror to feel worthy -- and it's an excellent commentary on society. How many real young women would do the same, if they had the means?

And going back to what I said about your imagery -- lovely, and right on point. ♥ There were a couple of lines in particular that stuck out to me:

I have never been told that Im one of those girls who would be so pretty if she just took all that paint off her face, so I put it on thick -- This is heartbreaking and accurate, and I just... I've never been one of those girls, either. I tried not wearing mascara the other day and when I told someone I was a little tired, she said, "Yeah, you look tired." Something I am never, ever told when I'm wearing makeup. That line resonates with me, and it breaks my heart: A mask of makeup to hide real and imagined scars

My kitchen stinks of peppermint and roses -- Have you ever read Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut? The phrase "mustard gas and roses" is used a few times to describe the smell of the dead, and it's almost the same here, really. Not physically dead, obviously, but a deadening of emotions. Forced, unnatural love, because she can't love herself.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this story, or maybe what I found is exactly what you intended. Nonetheless, this is a lovely story, Amanda, and it's made me think more than a lot of other fan fiction stories I've read lately. Thank you for that! ♥ And thank you for your lovely review, too -- I hope to respond to it sooner, rather than later. Always such a pleasure to read a story of yours!

Author's Response: Hi Rachel! Look at us, getting our exchange done right off the bat. I'm so proud :)

I actually had Lavender in mind when I wrote this, and I felt like she really embodies the height of that romantic sentiment you described. She's fallen victim to the idea that if you're a girl who's not pretty or not wanted, then you've really got nothing to offer the world and you'll be cast aside by everyone else. I thought of her consumption of the love potion as being akin to drinking or using drugs to numb the pain, except that it takes things one step further--she actually feels a drive to fall in love with herself because she thinks so little of her own value without the potion. As it is, she's stuck between being a werewolf and being a human, with no kin to call her own.

I don't get told as much very often, though I usually wear make-up, but I also feel sort of tired and unattractive when I don't put in that effort in the morning. I think we're conditioned to feel that way--it's the same thing if my hair isn't done or my outfit doesn't feel quite right. It's sad to think that Lavender really needs to cake it on to feel like a woman. Why should we have to apologize or make excuses for not looking immaculate?

I haven't read that--though my husband loved it--and for some reason your reference reminds me of imagery from The Hunger Games (probably the roses). Anyway, it's great that you picked that one out, because I like it, too. I think it conveys the idea that anyone else would be disgusted and overpowered by the extent of Lavender's effort to like herself, but for her, all of the drama and desperate measures are needed.

I do think you got at the heart of the story, and I'm pleased to hear you enjoyed it! I always strive to make people think, so that's good to hear. So glad you enjoyed my review as well, and know that I loved getting this one!


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Review #24, by TenthWeasleyThe Unfortunate Life of Scarlett Winters: The Terrible Introduction of Scarlett Winters

17th April 2013:
This is a pretty good beginning to your story! Your OC has a very unique voice, which I like, and the way you told this first chapter was interesting. It felt more like a literal voice-over narration than most stories, even though I suppose that's technically what all first person stories are, and it was a sort of neat thing.

Poor Scarlett, though -- James really doesn't seem to be a nice guy. You'd have thought Harry and Ginny raised him better! I wonder if it's enough motivation to carry her hatred so far into her schooling, but then again, he's probably done more to her than embarrassed her on the platform. I suppose your future chapters will cover that!

Do keep writing! You've got a nice grasp on where your story's going, I think. (I can't help but think Scarlett will end up with James anyway!)

Author's Response: Thank You! I was really nervous about writing this story but I am really happy I decided to write it.

I know of a lot of good parents who have a kid where you ask yourself where they went wrong, but James just seems to me like the kind of person who thinks he is "too cool for school". Not all of us can be as modest as Harry Potter.

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Review #25, by TenthWeasleyDevil's Snare: The Man of Many Masks

16th April 2013:
This is essentially my perfect story. Oh my goodness, I am so excited about this! ♥ I've told you this once before, but I have been searching for a good Tom Riddle/OC story for ages, and it's just too much now that my favorite fic author (that would be you, yes) is writing one. Not only does it spare me the need of doing it myself, but I can't wait to see what you do with it. I already absolutely love what you're doing with it. Please, please make this an epic novel and not only a four-chapter short story, even though you've completed it.

I knew Pomona was Professor Sprout's first name, but somehow... I just assumed it was a different Pomona? Regardless of which Pomona she happens or does not happen to be, I already feel really bad for her. The titular trap has been laid and she all but voluntarily walked into it. :( And yet I can't find I blame her, because I have already professed my attraction for this handsomely villainous Tom. He is the perfect old-age Tom, before he turns all skull-like and red-eyed -- all dark and mysterious and sinuous and silky and what can I say, that is darn attractive. ♥ So it truly is no wonder that Pomona is, at the very least, fascinated by him. I just am praying he's not going to hurt her or take advantage of her, and even as I type that I know it's not going to be the case.

Also, Mafalda seems to be kind of a snot. BOO, MAFALDA. But I write the older version of her to be a snot, so there is that.

I LOVE YOUR TWIST ON A MASQUERADE. Using Polyjuice Potion as a party trick is something I have never thought of and love immensely. (Although how creepy is Walburga Black, seriously.) It is distinctly eerie that Tom can become other people so effortlessly. And it is delightfully sinister at the same time, because that means he has so much control over who he comes in contact with. Who's to say which face is his real one? Maybe he puts on different masks for different people, depending on what he senses they want to see. That is terrifying. Why have you not written Tom Riddle before now.

Dying over your imagery. ♥ I love how spooky and noir this story seems, like a horror story, but with a Potter twist. A castle made of igneous rock! That is somehow gorgeous in my head, but in a creepy way. Which is the best way. I am revelling way, way too much in the darkness and secrecy of this fic, but wow, this is so perfect. And the image of The Jaws of St. Tenebris gave me goosebumps, because if that is not alluding to a scary story then nothing is. HOW DID YOU THINK OF THAT. I want to see what you see when you describe things.

Oh my goodness, when he basically pinned her against the wall and KISSED THE BASE OF HER THROAT, I AM SILENTLY SCREAMING. I cannot decide whether I am attracted or repulsed. Can I be both? That is, like... sexy, but icky, and this man is a conflicting contrast to himself and I must read more about Tom and his inky eyes and strained mouth. I want to know what he's going to do to Pomona. I want to tell Pomona to run very, very far away. Maybe show her a picture of how icky he'll look in a few years.


Moar. ♥


Seriously, though. Your reviews. ♥ You keep coming back time and time again to read my stuff and at the risk of this turning into a gush-fest, you are just the best. Plain and simple. I would not still be part of this fabulous adventure known as fan fiction were it not for you and your incredible, unconditional support.

Oh, no. This does not pardon you from writing your own Tom Riddle/OC. I fully expect you to produce one of those someday.

He was so much fun to write! Way better than Tom Riddle who is bald and nose-less, a few Horcruxes down the road. I'd like to revisit his character again in the future, for an AU sleuth!Tom, in a short mystery story.

I chose to use Pomona Sprout because she's one of the only canon female characters besides Minerva whose time at Hogwarts overlapped with Tom's. Tom/Minerva is a thing but for some reason there aren't any Tom/Pomona's. Maybe it's because in Hogwarts Era she's busy bustling around with dirt all over her hair. Who knows. Maybe people don't find that attractive or something. Here, she is a wee lass who is just a touch too naive for her own good. Which makes her the perfect prey, of course.

Seriously, if I had Polyjuice Potion for a day I would do at least fifty different things with it. So, so many opportunities. P.S. I have been wanting to do a masquerade ball with Polyjuice Potion for AGES.

Sexy/icky. That is a marvelous description.

Run, Pomona!

Tuesday is tomorrow ~ ~


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