I just finished reading this story and I must admit that the concept drew me right in. What made you come up with such an idea, especially when you have stated that Draco is not a favorite character of yours?
The first person narrative seemed like it was an effective way to tell the story quickly, but it made me keep wondering about the context under which Draco was relating the story and to whom? At times it felt like it was directly to the reader, but I was hoping that at the end it would be revealed that he was in fact coming clean to the others and relaying it to them, or perhaps to Dumbledore?
Also, I was very curious just what the force was that set everything in to motion. At first I felt that it must be Dumbledore somehow setting it all in motion from beyond the grave, but then, in the end Dumbledore does not die and that creates a complex conundrum.
All in all an enjoyable read, thank you for writing it.
On another note, I have been looking for a means to contact you regarding beta reading for me? If you are interested contact me at jeograph (at) hotmail. I have been looking for a new beta for a while and I have not been having any luck, then it occured to me that you have offered in the past.
Anyway, thanks for the story, I enjoyed it.Author's Response: It's been so long since I finished my stories here that I had not looked for any reviews in some time. Sorry for not noticing this until you pointed it out in your response to my review. I'll respond to your points in my email. Report Review
Just started your story. An interesting beginning... You might have warned people not to start while they are eating! An awful lot of retching going on in this story. Still, I am curious about your little band of transfer students. Lots more to reveal about who they are and where they come from.
Saw that you have been reading my story... Hope you will do me the honor of leaving a few reviews? Every author adores feedback.
I am definitely going to continue reading. I am so far, quite curious.
Good start.Author's Response: Thank you and yeah, I probably should have.didn't think about it to be honest, :P
I will do that. Yes, I find it helps to inspire me to write more!
Well, I am glad I have caught your attention, hope you enjoy what happens.
Thanks again. x Report Review
Just when I think I know where your going to always take a turn in a different direction! I am definitely enjoying this but I still want to know more about the nature of the apparent bond between (AU) Harry and Maeby, and the same regarding Maeby and Snape? Plus, there is he question about non-appearing characters. I await more as always.
And, I think you may have missed a chapter of my story as well?
Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Much more is coming between AU Harry and Maeby (that's one of the parts of the coming chapters that I'm happiest about). Unfortunately, I don't like the way I ended up wrapping up the Snape and Maeby part. I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the two relationships into an ending that I'm happy about. The non-appearing characters will either be added soon, or (after this story is done) I'll go back and edit them in. Right now, I'm trying to tie up key parts of the story. The non-appearing characters aren't fitting in well, and I want to make sure I don't just add them for the sake of it, if you know what I mean.
Sorry for the late reply. I started college. When I get swamped with work the first thing to go is fanfiction, unfortunately. In a week I'll start fall break and I'll get to catch up with all my reading (and writing!).
Thank you so much for your continued support! I love the feedback you give me. :)
Aether Report Review
Can't wait to see more. I liked the Harry/Harry encounter, but I am more interested at the moment in what is happening to Maeby, and the ultimate role of Mother, who obviously is acting to assist Harry to put the pan-dimensions right again. After all, she takes her orders from the only "cosmic" level player, the Earth itself.
I like the fact that you seem to be suggesting the differences here are largely circumstantial, while the "core" of each of the characters remains fairly constant across your dimensions.
Oh, and I loved seeing Ginny make an appearance, even if she seemed a bit stiffer than I would generally like. I keep expecting others to make appearances, especially Ron and Hermione. I wonder, would they have still gravitated together without Harry? And what about Luna Lovegood, in this world that seems a bit more pragmatic than the one JKR created? There seems to be less room for eccentricity in your Potter dimension?
I would like to see more of what many of the other characters developed into without the presence of Harry Potter in their lives. What was Ron like, without a best friend to support and depend on? What is Hagrid like with no Harry as a central concern? Did Fred and George manage to open a joke shop anyway? Who won the Tri-wizard Tournament, Cedric? Is he still alive? Is he still with Cho? The questions are endless, and while they are not at all pertinent to the story you are telling, the differences of your story and it's circumstances still beg all the questions.
I certainly don't expect you to answer them all... but maybe, just a few if they can be logically fit in?
Most importantly, just keep writing it!
Thanks.Author's Response: I'll be including Maeby and Mother more in future chapters. I'm surprised that you've picked up on the the connection between Mother and whatever power carried Harry to this dimension. There will be more on that later, definitely. Also, I'm glad you see the AU character differences I've included in these characters. I've tried to make it believable in that respect.
I'll definitely go through my future chapters and see where I can make more mention of Canon characters in the AU dimension. I get so swept up in the plot that sometimes I forget those sorts of questions. But I agree, my story certainly begs those questions, so I should have the answers there at some point. I might even go back and revise this after it's fully posted with a few Hermione/Ron encounters.
Anywho, thank YOU so much for leaving feedback while you read. It is extremely helpful. :-)
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Good chapter, everything just keeps escalating wonderfully! One thing though... When harry tells Neville he is "subhuman", don't you mean "superhuman"? Especially since you use "sub-human" a few paragraphs later to describe Voldemort? It just caught me oddly and forced me out of the flow.
I am liking the twists.
Keep it up.Author's Response: I definitely did mean superhuman. Without a beta, I tend to miss stupid errors like that. Thank you for catching it. I'll be sure to fix that right away. I'm glad you're enjoying the twists.
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I remain quite intrigued, and I must admit that you surprised me here. I expected the memory to be hugely horrific, I expected the shock and tragedy of it to be the realization that Maeby had been turned by Harry, her once, only true friend. However, it seems the real crux of the memory was the fact that her mother had been killed by Vamps. Interesting turn of events, with interesting ramifications for Harry. I continue to read, and continue to be impressed. Very nice chapter.Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the interlude. :) Thank you for the feedback!
Aether Report Review
Nice chapter, I am getting into you Vamp lore. I find it interesting so far, but I am still watching closely to see what you do with them. I am very curious about the connection to the earth.
I am also enjoying the different take on all the standard characters. Very nice story, I am still reading. And the chapter length is fine.
thanks.Author's Response: I'm so glad to know you're enjoying this. :) Thank you for leaving me feedback! Report Review
I've made it this far and I remain intrigued with this story. I will continue to read and look forward to more interesting twists and turns.Author's Response: Great! I'm glad you're still reading. Thanks for the feedback. :) Report Review
It was a sentence from this chapter that gave me the idea that the Harry Vampire was a "twilight" type vamp.
"Sunlight filtered through a broken window pane into the smallest bedroom of Number 4, Privet Drive. Stark, raven locks rustled and the body of a teenage boy turned, restlessly, onto his back so that the daylight streamed directly onto his face."
Now, I now his flesh is not shimmering here, but "Twilight" vamps are the only ones I know of that can take direct sunlight without some sort of alternative protection. I am glad though that you do not intend the use a "Twilight" style vamp.Author's Response: Yeah, I weeded out a lot of the old vampire lore about vampires, including sunlight, coffins, etc. I guess Twilight did that to make the vampires seem more glorious, but I did it to make them more human-seeming. I wanted them to appear (to an untrained eye when it's not a Turning Night) to be nothing more than humans, sort of like werewolves.
Thank you for leaving a review!
Aether Report Review
You have some very nice ideas here, and this could shape up to be a very compelling story. My advice would be as others have suggested, slow down, get more into Harry's head, be a bit more descriptive and remember that you may know exactly what is happening and where, but the reader doesn't unless you tell them. I like the real somber feel you are giving the characters, as they are all obviously dealing with great tragedy, and trying to cope... but I am sorry, I just don't bye Molly Weasley as a drunk... at least not without some character build-up to explain why and how. It is totally inconsistent with the Molly of the books. Perhaps if you had strung it through a few chapters, and dropped in hints, like a history of alcoholism in her family, or giving it too us slow with a bottle of cooking sherry that is disappearing far faster than it should. something to ease us into it all.
I repeat, I do like some of your ideas and I would like to see where you are going, but please slow down and give us more of what your are intending.
And by all means - DO KEEP WRITING!!Author's Response: Thanks for the suggestion! That will come more into play near Christmas time of their year. Report Review
Very interesting story, I am getting hooked, and I don't usually go in for AU stuff, but I am enjoying the character dynamics with the AU versions of Voldemort and Dumbledore. I am even enjoying the idea of the alternate Harry being a Vampire, though I cannot say I like the insinuation that he is a "Twilight" type vamp. But I am curious about your saying that vampires, like werewolves, are magical conditions and functioning on a cycle. I definitely want to know more and will continue reading. Nice work.Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying this. I don't think I ever insinuated that he's like a Twilight vampire (in fact, I'm trying to stay away from that comparison). I made the connection between werewolves and vampires because I thought it was a cool parallel. Keep reading! Thank you for leaving a detailed review! Report Review
Nice story. I am enjoying it. It is nice to see the time and care you are taking establishing the clean-up and aftermath of the final battle. Personally I was less fond of DH than of the rest of the series, so I look forward to seeing where you intend to take the characters next. I have an idea for a book 8 as well, but I have vowed not to write it until after I am finished with my own book 7 story. Keep up the good work, and I am looking forward to the next chapter. (Personally I like the longer chapters)Author's Response: Thanks for the detailed review! I'm pleased that you are enjoying it, and I will try to keep the chapters longer, like this one.
As for DH, I suppose JK had to write it darker and less light-hearted than the others, so there was not as much humour and fun; maybe that is why you didn't enjoy it as much? I see what you mean, though. Good luck with your book 7 and book 8 stories, I'm sure they'll be great :-)
Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I'll try to update as soon as possible :-) Thanks! Report Review
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