This was amazing! Top story! Top writing! Just absolutely brill all round! And congrats for finishing such an awesome little story. Rose had me laughing, Scorpius had me sighing and the last scene was gold. Gold. I'd definitely enjoy another story like this because you are very good at it despite you not writing it often. Any chance of a sequel/spin-off?
So, all-in-all awesome job! Well done. :)Author's Response: Ahh, I'm so pleased to hear that you liked the story so much! I'm quite proud of finishing it -- it sat abandoned on my computer for quite some time before I decided to tackle it once and for all.
I actually have considered a spin-off or a sequel, and wouldn't be entirely opposed to the idea at a later date. Not now, per se, because I've got a million and one projects I should be working on -- but maybe someday!
Thank you very much for taking the time to review this! It's highly appreciated! :3 Report Review
Oh my god, only three more chapters? Terrible. But then again, i am so awfully excited to get to the end of this because it is just so good! I don't think it was Scorpius at all who told julian about Rose's feelings. I'm not sure why, but I feel like Pippa had something to do with it. But I could be entirely wrong and she could just be the cool best friend. So, awesome job on this chapter yet again and i am very excited to read more of this fantastic story! :)Author's Response: Only three more chapters! And I think I kept this as short as I did because it really was, first and foremost, an experiment -- both to see how I would write it, and how people would react to it. :P I am very pleased on both counts, if you must know!
Ahh, theories abound. ;) I suppose you'll have to wait for the real answer, eh? I love all the guesses y'all are making! So intuitive! Thanks so much for taking the time to leave me this review -- it seriously means to much to me that you do. ♥ You're awesome! Report Review
I'm really enjoying this story. It's clever and well-written and a little bit different. You also make Rose a really believable character which is awesome. :)
I'm really quite excited to see how her and Scorpius' relationship develop. Also, Rose and Julian. You've kind of not really had a lot of Rose and Julian contact, but I think that's really good because at the moment, Rose is kind of into the /idea/ of Julian.
Ooh and the Pippa and Scorpius scandal - so interesting. I HAVE to know what happened! :P
And, I'm noticing something about Scorpius' actions. He acts like a 10 year old with a crush. You know, being mean. ;)
So, I'm really excited to read more! Great job!Author's Response: I sort of wanted to step into the next generation romantic comedy while making it new -- so this review is appreciated a million times over. :) I work a lot on my plots and stories, trying to make them appealing and yet not over-the-top or unrealistic (as far as Harry Potter fan fiction can be realistic), and I'm so glad you seem to think I'm succeeding!
Rose/Julian contact is sparse simply because... well, it IS. The entire relationship is in her head because he's physically attractive, and verbal exchanges are pretty much nonexistent by definition. :)
Answers to all will be revealed in time! :D I'm so glad you appear to be enjoying the story so far, and I'm excited to see what people think of updates! Hope to see you back for chapter 7! ♥ Report Review
Ah! I love this story. I legit love this story so much that i think i shall dub it my favourite hpff story. (don't get a big head - though i wouldn't mind if you do because you totally deserve it.)
I'm very excited for the return of Lettuce and his fantastic ways and also the 'plot' though I have severely enjoyed these chapters full of your cracky random moments with cute Lucy/Scorpius moments.
So keep on writing and i will eagerly read. :)
Toodle pip.Author's Response: awww thank you so much! ^^ you're all very kind. hee, the return of Lettuce...and plot! I'm pretty stoked to write the next chapter, let's just say that.
thank you so much for reviewing, and I'm really glad you liked it! ♥ Report Review
OOOHHH cliffie! I know I've read this chapter before and I hate to ask but pleeease update. I will love you for ever and ever. :D
But this is such an amazing story and I can not wait a second longer,Author's Response: Can you wait likeee four days? The next chapter is in the queue and its a doozy, 7,500 words!
Thank you so much for the review!
xx Report Review
Who! We've approached perhaps a large part of the plot? I hope. :D Anyway, I really love this story. I really really do. It's original and fun and entertaining. I really like James in this too. I've read way too many stories where James is troubled and angsty and annoying. But now he just seems like a regular (wizard) guy. Hehe. I know it but Spencer doesn't.
So update soon! :DAuthor's Response: Thanks! And poor Spencer; everyone's in on the secret but her :D
And we have approached a large part of the plot! I think I'm gonna take my time at developing it but they'll be more thickening to come.
I like James too! When I first started writing this, he seemed more like on the path of becoming a flawless Sex-God type character and I'm glad that I developed him more so that it didn't end up that way. Because I don't think I would have liked him as much; this way he's like you said: regular. He's a silly, fun teenage boy.
I'll try for a quick update but I won't make any promises! Thanks for reading and for the lovely review! :D Report Review
HOMOMGOD! That was mildly epic! Wow!
One little thing: Don't you think its time to change the story type to novel, seeing as though it's now 32 chapters?
Anyway, this chapter was amazing and they KISSED AGAIN! WOOP!
So, I'm really looking forward to another chapter. :) Report Review
I REALLY LOVED THIS. Your writing was amazing and I love the analogies! I also really like how you made it a novella. It just fit. And the ending was super cute and awesome. I think a snog-fest would have been cliche and it wouldn't have really fit the story. That's what I think anyway. I also really liked how you made up with Arisa. Very realistic and clever. Abd there weren't any tears or big big hugs with heart felt proclamations. It wouldn't fit the characters. So very good! And the sequel is a really good idea from Arisa's POV. I think we need romance. Obviously. I also love sarcastic characters so I'll be looking out for that. Do you think you'll use one of JKR's next-gen Weasley/Potter characters for Arisa's possible love interest, because I'm not sure I'll love that. It would just seem not as nice. Cos we are starting to run out of Potter/Weasley characters haha. Anyway, I loved this, love the sequel idea and I'll be looking for it. Oh! Before I forget, I LOVED the Hugo reference. I don't really know what it's implying but I think I do and it was very clever. :P so good job and thank you for writing such a great little novella (which there needs to be more of) :)Author's Response: I REALLY LOVES YOUR REVIEW. so now with an even caps locks:small caps ratio, I shall continue my review. :)
I think some people make their stories drag, their characters are emotionally ready for the relationship, but then they keep adding unresolved drama and they don't let it end.
There will be romance, but it will focus on growing up again and growing apart.
I am having a hard time deciding between one of the wotters (i hate it when people call them that) or just a cannon characters child.
I think the hugo reference made sense to those who read eating carrot tops (before i deleted it, sorry).
Thank you for your lovely support. &hearts ♥ Report Review
OHH NOZ. This is a mixture of horrifyingingly terrible and so juicy in scandal. Wow. That was... full of... interesting stuff!
Anyway, I'm like totally excited for the next chapter because it will just be so... I literally have no words.
So I do hope you update soon. :) Report Review
Duh duh duuuhhh. Dominique is kind of scary. But in a good way because this chapter was done so well and I loved it but it was definitely disturbing - in a good way! :)
I can't wait for something else exciting, like perhaps Lysander coming back...
Do you think you'll try and get Dominque's soul back together with regret? Or is that just like way to difficult to write?
But thank you for the great chapter!Author's Response: YEAH SHE'S CRAY CRAY! SHE'S KILLING EVERYONE SHE HATES (APART FROM LYSANDER AND ALL THAT) AND YEAH. It was quite fun to write her crazy episodes though. Lysander will be back soon, hopefully, unless she doesn't kill him too. Well, I was going for the whole horcrux thing - that killing people rips your soul in pieces, just like Voldy. I don't think there's a way she'll get them together again (maybe find true love again... ?)
Thanks so much for your lovely comments and for reading and reviewing! Hope you keep reading! Report Review
Okay well this was cute and I liked a lot of it but there are a few little bits of criticism.
I don't think Luna would have freaked out that much about the leech. I think she would have just smiled serenely and whatever. Leeches only take like a teaspoon of blood so she would have been fine. I think you are getting better at being Luna but she is a bit OOC sometimes.
But good try and I still liked it. :) Report Review
THANK YOU FOR THE THANKS! But I really should be thanking you for writing such an extraordinary story. Words can't describe how perfect your portrayal of Ginny was or the accuracy of all the events. I can't believe how long it is! Wow. But this was such an amazing story and I'm going to miss it so much! :D
Are you thinking about writing anything new? A sequel or just a missing moments sort of thing?
So, wow, just wow.
I bet you're feeling pretty proud of yourself. So congratulations! And well done! And thank you!
ClaudiaAuthor's Response: Missing moments I am doing I'll be adding them into the story where they go so when you see that this story has been updated just click on it and the chapters that say "New Scene added" will have a new addition, for example I'm working on the easter egg library scene. Thanks so for reading and I'm srry there will not be a sequel but I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
I probably shouldn't because Dom hates him, but I love Lysander and constantly ship them. Anyway, this is so exciting! I'll probably have to re-read because I can't really remember anything About Featherby, or what happened between Dom and him. But this was an awesome chapter! It was like the right amount of mystery but you let us know that Lysander was (probably) innocent.
I was looking at your banner, you made that!? I love it! Like the perspective that Dom is lookind down at you through glass and the blood. Ooh shivers. Who's the actress or model in the banner? She's a reaoly good portrayal of Dominique. So lovely chapter and I can't wait for more!Author's Response: EEE! EVERYONE SHOULD LOVE LYSANDER AND DOMINIQUE TOGETHER! IT SHOULD BE SPECTACULAR AND WONDERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL!! Yeah, you'll have to reread to find out some more about him - he becomes pretty key in the next few chapters. And yeah, you'll find out if you keep reading that Lysander is innocent. I did make the banner! Thanks for the lovely comments and for reading and reviewing! Literally made my day! Report Review
Good chapter. Merci beaucoup means thank you very much actually. : P i did really like this chapter so feel free to update soon! :)Author's Response: Thank you!
Oh, what did I write it as, and there I was thinking I was good at french. :)
I'll try, but alas I have no time! :) xx Report Review
So this chapter was awesome! Also better than the first because we heard some more fun things about friends and whatnot. It can get a bit tiring hearing about hair a lot so maybe a few more descriptions won't go amiss.
Still the dialogue, “Shhh, it will be ok Mattie, you'll be fine and I’ll always be right here for you. You just have to say my name into that mirror I got you for your birthday.” A heavily masculine...' - y,” a h Report Review
STEPHHH! HEY! So firstly, LOVE the idea and it’s really fun and witty and totally witty. Second, I’ve tried to write an Aussie story too! You’ve accomplished it! I never posted mine. It was HARD! Anyway, I do really liek this story and so far, we have a really good character who is sarcastic, witty, strong but has a life story that is interesting and will make the story very enjoyable.
So I’m a picky reviewer only because I hate having my own stories posted with silly mistakes when they can be sooo good without them. So a few things that could be fixed. A biggie is dialogue punctuation because having it nice and proper will encourage a lot more readers to continue reading. Which they should do to a such a great story!
There are a lot of topic in Writer’s Resources that can explain the working of dialogue and lot more detailed and correct than I can so maybe just pop in there and have a read.
Crossing the cold wooden floor of my room to my mirror I starred at the person looking back at me. – Should be ‘stared’.
I had chestnut hair that sometimes looked red in the sun – it may be in past tense but when you describe something it makes more sense to have it in present tense. It sounds a bit like she’s describing hair she no longer actually has.
“MATILDA GET UP NOW” Yelled a woman’s voice from somewhere outside my door. – Dialogue punctuation: Should be like this, “MATLIDA, GET UP NOW,” yelled a woman’s voice... Though I think it would nicer with a exclamation mark after ‘now’.
Did I mention it was 7:30? Oh Yeah I did. – Perhaps it would be nicer punctuated like this, ‘Oh yeah, I did.’ But it’s nice and quirky and humorous.
“There you are you filthy girl, make my some breakfast, because I need to leave for work in half an hour.” My mother drunkenly stuttered to me. – Perhaps like this, ‘There you are you filthy girl, make me some breakfast. I need to leave for work in half an hour,” my mother drunkenly stuttered to me.
...deranged mother, my way of pay back for the way she treats me. I really want to see what she would look like fat. – Perhaps with a hyphen (-) between me and I instead of the full stop.
“Why are you standing in the doorway and what the hell do you have in your hand!” She yelled at me from the kitchen table. – should be: ... your hand!” she yelled at me.
‘at 10 o-clocks...’ – Just 10 o’clock.
‘Before she could yell at me and bet me up...’ – should be ‘beat’.
‘Now where did I put that damn two-way mirror.’ – Should have a question mark on the end.
So there’s the end of that! It’s a great first chapter to a really great story so far and I’m looking forward to reading more of it!
Claudia. Report Review
Gahhh! Cliffie! I love it but still! Please update soon. *puppy dog eyes*
Okay, serious review.
So, one little thing, you're American but it's just a little easier to be a realistic if you use british language. So when you said, 'and my mommy. (Yeah, I’m a momma’s boy, get over it.)'
It should really be mummy and mama's boy. Though mama's sounds a tad weird. Mummy's boy would probably be better. :)
Hope this helps.
But I really really loved this! Utterly fantastic!Author's Response: haha thanks! i'll proabably keep what i said though just cause i like a little americaness in there and i'm too lazy to change it (: Report Review
Wow. Just wow. You're characterisation of Andromeda and Ted were so strong and interesting. I really loved this. So so much! I've written a one-shot of the two and it's completely different but yours is just so intriguing. I absolutely love it.
The story in itself was very dark, with a lot of strong themes but you wrote them wonderfully.
Andromeda's change was really good and I think Ted was such a great character though he could have been a little more clear in his actions. But nevertheless, it was amazing!
Well done!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review :) I loved Andy and this was how I pictured her. I think it is vital to note that she IS a Black; she isn't all light. Ted helped her become a better person and she learned from her mistakes. Thank you so much for reviewing :) Report Review
What i think? I think that this is my new fave story so I'm really really happy that you've kindly decided to spree it. :) Yayyy!
Thank you! Report Review
Oh my wowowowow. I think my brain just exploded. That was AMAZING! Gosh, how do you do it? I really really like it how you didn't just set Fred on him straight away. You made us worried but I'm not a fan of stupid testosterone fights that seem hugely unrealistic. I think a fight could happen and be necessary but I hope you do it well. Though by going by this epic chapter you are basically prepped for awesomeness.
Well done and I am totally looking forward to the next chapter. Which will be exciting! :)Author's Response: I'm glad it was a good brain explosion :)Haha I love what you said about the prepped for awesomeness, thank you so much for the sweet and lovely review. This really made my day!!
xx Report Review
Over! No. But OMG that was amazing and the best ending ever. I actually think that this was the best ending I've read on this site.
I can't forget monobrow man. :)
Thank you for writing such an awesome story and well done for finishing it!
Great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely comments! And monobrow man is taken... so BACK OFF! :P Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D Report Review
Awww is all I have to say. Now THAT is what I was waiting for . :) Report Review
Oohh cliffie! Evil.
But this was a fantastic chapter and now I'm going to go out of my mind waiting for the next chapter.
Great job!Author's Response: Don't worry, you won't be going out of your mind for too long :) Report Review
Heh heh. Sporks are scary. You know what, Laney is scary.
But it was a pretty cool chapter. Actually, Daniel is THE scariest person on the planet - well, story universe.
I think it can get a little too random at times. Like, seriously, where did the plastic spork come from?
But still, it was very interesting! Good job! :)Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review.
Maybe it's just me being a self doubting writer, or the fact that I got a pretty nasty review earlier today, but I can't pretend like hearing criticism isn't hard. Or even a bit hurtful for that matter. But I guess what I have to come to a conlusion with is that my writing just isn't for everyone. :P I get a response now 'n then that finds Laney annoying or my story structure as rubbish, or even finds it just a little TOO weird. I don't mean to scare you off, I really don't. People always tend to ask me how I write humour, since that is the primary focus of JO. I write what pops into my head as I go, and that's that. I'm a wild and obscure person, someone who has ADD and jumps from one thing to the next like you wouldn't believe. I write this because I find it to make no sense and pefect sense. Some people see what I mean by that right away, others don't. Some people it takes a few chapters to warm up to this story. And sometimes it's a great response in the beginning, and then a kind of "Erm, this is too weird for me," thing by the end. Oh! And I am NOT meaning to thrash out at you by this, as you gave me a VERY friendly review. Something I forever and always appreciate. My whole thing with Laney is that she's really honest. Maybe too honest, or a little blunt or thick headed, but that's always how I've proudly painted her. So I feel like I should be honest too. This is an author's response, right? I should be genuine with you. ^.^ I guess it kind of sucks to hear that kind of criticism. Not because you were mean, or you are wrong and I am right, not at all. More that I don't get what you mean, and I had a sort of "D:" face when I read that. Haha. I don't think I ever will understand either. Random? That's why it's funny! Too random? Ash = D: sadface. Hahaha. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I understand what you mean -- yet I don't. I get the legistics of what you said, but my inner sadface is gleaming.
I am so sorry for talking your ear off. After getting that nasty review earlier (which, by the by, a validator friend demolished for me :D) I suppose I've just had all this building up inside me for far too long. :D Again, nothing personal. Glad you thought the chapter was cool. :) I hope you don't stop reading, because I like you a lot! And I hope I haven't scared you off.
I'm just a crazy person. My story makes sense to me, so I get a tad jumble-bumbled when no one understands. I really am Laney Becks, aren't I?
Love you for reviewing and (hopefully!) reading this,
Ash Report Review
Aw that was sweet. I really liked that! And I also forgot that Lily didn't know about their secret.
You know, I'm totally loving this story. It's got... pizazz! I love the characters and the ideas and their dialogue. It's realistic and really really well done.
So, good job! And I can't wait for an update! :)Author's Response: well she knew about remus. just not sirius, peter and james.. yeah
hehe thank you, that means a lot! Report Review
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