Another awesome chapter!
Liked the scene where Summer revealed her news to her friends, think that was handled well.
Wasn't a fan of the "date", but it was realistic that their dynamics wouldn't changed suddenly, so I think you made the right call there.
Now to see how Summer will react! :) Report Review
Terrific ending to an enigmatic story! Great job!
I guess we'll never know who beat up Emmanuelle then?
I really liked how she faced her ghost and got over her fear of being happy.
Can't say enough about the character development and plot twists in this story! Loved it! Report Review
Had to go all the way back to chapter 63 to leave you a review. Wanted to let you know I've nominated Amelia as best original character for the Dobbys! This is one of my favourite stories on the site and I'd love to get to find out how everything wraps up! Keep it up! Report Review
Another terrific chapter! It's scary to think of the battle approaching, and I hope there are no more "deserters" from Hogwarts.
As of yet, I'm not entirely sure of the significance of the meeting with Delia, but I hope more comes to light soon!
Keep up the great work!Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it :) Report Review
Yay! An update! And I'm the first review!
Nice to finally get more background on Ben and his family! Love that he has 3 sisters, it explains his protectiveness of Amelia.
Again, an excellent chapter, but don't leave us with a cliffhanger for too long!!! I need to find out what's going on with Minerva!
Keep it up! Can't wait to read more! Report Review
Hi! Sorry it took me so long to get this up, RL has been busy.
What a touching story, in so few words you were able to convey danger and sadness.
I do think you could get more emotion from your readers if you used more of the human side of things, like showing that helpless fight or the aftermath effect on other students.
This was a very original idea though!Author's Response: Hi!!
Don't worry about the wait at all, it's no drama ^_^
I was actually going to write two more pieces to this one shot similiar to what you suggested and now that you've suggested it I might just do that ^_^
Thank you so much for your awesome review
~Karni, xx Report Review
This has to be one of the cutest and sweetest things I've ever read! I feel like a cartoon with the hearts popping around my head, lol. I think you got James perfect with JKR's vision, and I loved how you made Lily a bit of a klutz, that was original and I haven't seen that before! I think it's clear the romance/fluff is your strong point, you write it excellently! I look forward to reading more from you in the future! :)Author's Response: Oh, good! I'm really really glad you like it! :) I love the image of a cartoon with hearts around your head, haha.
Thank you so much for the review. :) Report Review
This story is quite different from your romantic Teddy/Victoire stories I've read. I agree that angst is harder to write, because you need to get the reader behind the character's thoughts and emotions as opposed to shipping your characters. That said, I think you did a good job with this piece, and gave Lily many reasons for her beliefs and fear for her family. I think more detail into what happened to James and what has happened to Harry/other family members in the past would make this more powerful, maybe showing flashbacks of all the times she's thought she could lose someone. Other than that though, great job!Author's Response: Oooh, yes. I think that I will do that when I have the chance to edit it (which may not be until after NaNo).
Thank you! :) Report Review
Aw!!! Sooo much cuteness in one bit! Seriously though, this is bad for me to read because first dates are never like this for me! Stop spoiling me with this adorableness! I am still really liking your thoroughly non-cliched Victoire (she doesn't think she's beautiful but not insecure, not super popular with the boys, not prissy, etc). I also really like that Teddy wanted to take things slowly, and the whole "patience is a virtue" speech. Overall such a good adorable continuation of the first chapter!Author's Response: I'm glad you like my Victoire - I tried really, really hard to avoid making her cliched. She's often portrayed as a carbon copy of Fleur in GoF, and I wanted to avoid that as much as possible. I'm also really glad you like Teddy, because I had a lot of fun with him here. :)
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Yay! An update! Not much content in this chapter, and I wish you had gone into more detail on the students' reactions to Ben and Amelia's relationship, that could've added many hilarious moments! Besides saving Draco, defeating the Death Eaters, and Ben proposing, not sure what else can happen. I trust you, you're the author and these are your characters (except for JKR's, lol), so I'll be happy no matter what you do! Keep up the great work! :) Report Review
OMG cliffhanger! And you haven't updated since early August, get on that now!!!
Seriously though, I love this story and need to find out the answers to all the mysteries! I'm also really enjoying the character evolution Em has had, keep up the great work! Report Review
Aw! Such a cute continuation of the Teddy/Victoire you created for "Fish out of water"! I loved it! Overall just adorable! Nice to see that Victoire has accomplished her goals and that they're still keeping in touch with school friends. Loved your take on magical pastries, landlords, flowers, etc, not something I've seen before! There aren't any changes I'd make to this story! :)Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! :) I'm really glad you liked it! Report Review
My guess is Cormac McLaggen! In love with Hermione Granger! So there! Anyways onto the review, I think it's pretty tough to have a cohesive story without revealing any names, but I think this was as good as it gets. You provided the background on how he came to like her and what he plans to do in the future, as well as his current dilemma. He's not exactly the most likeable character from the books, and you certainly didn't get anymore sympathy from me towards him!
Great job at a difficult challenge!Author's Response: So there!
;) Your guess was correct :)
Oh thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed reading this ^_^ Poor bloke :) I love underloved characters, Cormac and Seamus being 2 of my favourites :) So I did Cormac :P
Well done on a correct guess, and thank you so much for your lovely review ^_^
~Karni, xx Report Review
Such a cute glimpse into their lives after graduation. Can't say I'm surprised Drew and Dom didn't last. Although I'd like to know who Halley's marrying, and what's up with Cayleigh!
Love your vision of Victoire the babymaker, lol.
Thanks again for all the hardwork and time you've put into this book, it's fantastic! Hope to read more from you in the future!Author's Response: Yes, Drew and Dom were never going to last. I knew that from the moment I wrote them together haha. But hey they were a good schootime couple. And Halley's marrying someone that wasn't introduced in this. His names John, and he's a healer who was a few years above them in Hogwarts.
Thanks for reviewing! And keep an eye out for new stories!! Report Review
Such a long chapter! Still loving this story! Two inconsistencies/errors I noted. Dom is "erratic" not "erotic" and Missy is a boy not a girl (you used she instead of he). Love this story!!!Author's Response: Gah I got to go back and fix gender on that dog. I know, but thanks for pointing it out:) Report Review
Another emotionally wrenching chapter! Keep up the great work!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
This is such an emotional take on my silly back to school challenge, and really caught me off guard. I never would've thought to set the plot following the Battle of Hogwarts, and I commend you for doing just that. Poor Seamus with all his guilt and emotions, it was interesting to see that George went back to Hogwarts following the war. So touching to see them both work through their sadness together. When George first entered the compartment, I was sure it was Dean (knowing how close Seamus and Dean were), so I hope they work out their issues in the coming chapters. Two small errors I found "determind" should be "determined", and "douln't" is "couldn't". Thanks again for participating in my challenge!Author's Response: Yay!! judging! I love Judging!!!
I thank you very much for taken the time to read this!! and also for considering this an entry! I wanted to put this in here as i sort of needed it with the plot line and well Seamus returned to school, so i kinda flowed in with your challenge ^_^
Thank you for second place too ;)
Nope, not dean, tricked ya ;) lol They will indeed work out this issue, little devil Seamus is, how rude is he not talking to his frind for that long :?O
I wanted emotion in it as obviously it is stil sad that he lost his best friend!! x one of a few anyway :D x
Thank you so much for you challenge and your judging!! I look forward to your future challenges! x
~Karni. x Report Review
WOW! I love of much character development and romance building you did in just one chapter given my very open challenge. Soo impressed right now with the amount of information you've managed to squeeze into the however many words this is, we know the houses of a good majority of the Weasley-Potter children, Victoire's hopes and dreams for the future, the Victoire/Teddy background, and so much more. Loved how much you did with this story! What a great entry! Thanks again for participating in my challenge!Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you liked it! :) Thank you again for making the challenge, I had so much fun with it! Report Review
Awww! Loved this glimpse into Kaden's pre-Hogwarts days! Hope to find out more about Bethany and whether or not she's got magical blood too!
Very well-written!Author's Response: I loved writing about Kaden's pre-Hogwarts days. If I'm doing the math right, Bethany should find out whether she's a witch or not when Albus is a sixth year. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
Aww, what a sweet and funny Christmas tale at the Burrow! I love your heavily pregnant Ginny! She's hilarious! Poor Teddy, he was just trying to help and ended up getting in trouble with the tempermental redhead! Such a cute one shot, it's no wonder you won! I also love all the "baby" Weasleys, sooo cute!!!Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you think that Ginny was hilarious. I'm really happy you think that it was so cute and that you loved the baby Weasleys. Thank you for the lovely review! ^^ Report Review
Sorry this took so long, here's the review I've owed you since mid-August.
The irony of the whole story is almost too much for me, if only they'd originally trusted Dumbledore how different Harry's life would've been! Or if Sirius hadn't backed out! That line at the end is almost heartbreaking. I think you have captured James well but I'm on the fence about Lily, I would think she'd be more worried and motherly during the war. One small error I found, it's Evans not Evens. Another little detail I loved, that Lily calls Petunia "Tuney" that is almost too cute to handle!Author's Response: That's perfectly okay! I know how life is when it gets hectic! I'm in a way rather glad you thought the line was heartbreaking, I wanted it to be a kind of 'famous last words' kind of thing. I'll go and look and fix that. I'm glad you thought James was captured well, I agree that I think Lily might have been more motherly during the war but I also figured she's really young and is responsible for so much that this particular news and event would have her feeling and looking more vulnerable which was what I tried to bring across. I'm glad you liked the cutemess though :D to me that was another sign of her fear and the weight of everything on her shoulders.
Thank you for the lovely review! ^^ Report Review
And here comes the suspense and storyline! Yay! Can't wait to see what happens next with Dra -er- Will ;)
This chapter is much more in line with the quality of writing I've come to expect from you (very high), and I'm guessing the last chapter was written quickly and not edited enough. I'm hooked on this story now, can't wait to see what you do next! :)Author's Response: Yay! Thanks! I liked this chapter a ton better too, tbh. It made me so happy to hear that you like my writing! Thanks again for the AMAZING reviews you've left me. They're all so helpful, even if that help is just an ego boost xD I'm super excited about the plot I have planned for this, and I hope it lives up to your expectations!
-Naida Report Review
I've noticed a big difference in this chapter from the other work of yours I've read, there seem to be many changes in tense that comes across as awkward to the reader, as well as less action/plot in the chapter. This is probably just because with one shots you have to tell the entire story in a shorter amount of time, and with a WIP you need to build up to the story. I will say I'm not entirely sure what's going to happen with this story, but I'm expecting a baby Scorpius to be born soon, since 19 years later he's ready to attend Hogwarts! This review isn't meant to discourage you in any way, as it is still free of spelling mistakes and the story is intriguing, I'm just pointing out that it's not as strong as your previous works and maybe requires a Beta or some more proofreading for grammar.Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much for this! I absolutely love getting crit, and it makes me so glad that you've done that. The changes in tense actually come as a surprise to me. I didn't realize I was doing that, but I'll definitely go through and fix those! :) The story isn't canon compliant though, so no Scorpius xD I think this chapter is more of an intro for me, since this is a novel length story, which is why it's not quite in the style of my one shots. Thanks for all the crit though! I'll definitely be going through and proofreading :)
-Naida Report Review
Really like the idea behind this story, and love all the emotions you imparted into such a short chapter! William Smith is a perfectly ordinary name, from Draco Malfoy to William Smith, pretty extreme! One little error I'd fix is to change it from "Wizard world" to "Wizarding world", which seems to flow better. Onto Chapter 1 to see what happens next!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really loving all the reviews from you! Make me smile :D And thanks for pointing out that error. I'll fix it ASAP!
-Naida Report Review
A very original story! Loved that it showed Narcissa's memories and feelings on Bellatrix. I do think you seemed to paint Narcissa more innocent and nice than she actually is, but your Bellatrix is fully believable. Would love to see this turned into a short story, making each chapter a flashback of the Black sisters' childhood and school memories. I also really liked how symbolic the colour black became in your story, that was done masterfully. I noticed one spelling error "laugher" is missing a "t". Another interesting and awesome story!Author's Response: Hello again! Is it bad that I think its a good thing that you thought Cissy was too innocent...? Since I was writing it from her perspective, I did want to make her seem "right" since she doesn't think she's as horrible as the rest of us do, and also to sharply contrast her and Bella. But if you think it's a bit too OOC, I should definitely look into that a bit :) The idea of a short story is great, actually! Maybe if I didn't have so much to already write xD And the sybolism of Black is something I really wanted to get across, so I'm glad that worked. And thanks again for spotting the typo! (I really need to work on that >. Report Review
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