Reading Reviews From Member: keyty
  
138 Reviews Found

Review #1, by keytyDefiant Blood, Defiant Love: Andromeda Goes To The LibraryÖNot To Study

24th August 2014:
Girl you are killing me. I was just reading as fast as I could thinking KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS and then they didn't kiss. So disappointed. They're so cute. He's so cute with her. I ship it so hard. Please update soon! Ahhh!!

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Review #2, by keytyDefiant Blood, Defiant Love: Rash Meets Reason

21st July 2014:
YAY!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY THEY ARE SO CUTE. I'm so glad Andie's plan worked! Ahh I almost melted when he (indirectly) said he was in love with her. That was so sweet. And I think Marcy can help Andie now. It would be so cool if she returned the favor to help her get with Ted. But of course Marcy has it easier. Her sister isn't a lunatic death eater. She's definitely onto something now though. It wasn't very smart of Andie to use Ted. She should have used (name of her Hufflepuff friend I'm totally blanking on) to give Jamison the note. Oh well. That'll add up to more drama so yay! I'm so scared for Marcy though. And what happens to her will be an indicator of what will happen to Andie. Uh oh. Please update soon! I can't wait to read more!!!

Author's Response: Yay thanks for reviewing!! I know it finally worked, and I wish I could write more from their perspective so I will try to squeeze that in. Marcy definitely has it easier, and hopefully she will try to help Andromeda, but for now no one knows about Ted :o Thanks again :))

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Review #3, by keytyMy Little Secrets: Surprise, Surprise

2nd July 2014:
I hate that you write such short chapters I'm always so scared that something is just around the corner. It's like when you're watching a scary movie and you can't see what's ahead of the character as they walk in the darkness. That's how I feel.
Anyway I'm glad Molly has apologized but I can't help but feel she's got something up her sleeve. Ugh. I'm just so afraid for Lucy! But she's standing up to Linda, which is good. Ugh I'm just scared. You scare me a lot. Ugh.

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Review #4, by keytyMy Little Secrets: Villas in France

2nd July 2014:
The end of this chapter scared the crap out of me. You do that a lot. Stop it.
Gwen is so perf and understanding and she's the best girlfriend ever. And I like that Lucy decided to kiss her. She made the move, which she probably does sometimes, but we rarely see it.
I also love Gwen's mom, and that Lucy wants to be closer to her family. Gwen is such a good influence.

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Review #5, by keytyMy Little Secrets: Moonlight

2nd July 2014:
You're such a tease. "I'm better, look, loads better PSYCHE." So rude. But I have no room to talk because Rainne is doing the same crap lol. But I hate that this is kind of the calm before the storm. You're so mean to us. I wish Linda would shut up. Poor Gwen. Poor Lucy. a-lsdkhlsdhkf.

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Review #6, by keytyMy Little Secrets: Irregular Beats

2nd July 2014:
Wow reading them on docs makes me feel like I reviewed them too! Ugh! I'm sorry!!

I hate Linda. Honestly that's all I want to say because I hate hate hate hate her. I wish everyone was more observant because people like Lucy can be so overlooked. BLAH. And poor Gwen. She has to be the strong one but it's so hard for her too. AND EVEN THOUGH I'M TERRIFIED I KNOW IT'LL BE OKAY. Anyway.

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Review #7, by keytyDefiant Blood, Defiant Love: When Bella Writes

2nd July 2014:
WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?! Ah I'm reading on my phone and by the time the chapter ended it was almost touching my face. EVEN THOUGH YOURE MEAN I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. I love that Andromeda is finally coming to terms with her feelings for Ted. Stupid Rabastan, being a git. It's weird because irl I cuss a lot, and everyone I know does and it doesn't bother me. But since in this story people rarely cuss when he does it just makes me hate him more. I don't know if that's on purpose or not but there you go lol. I love that Zan gets her. It's sad that her "closer" friends are all so afraid of being different, like she is, so they can't trust each other. Or at least she doesn't feel that way. I hope she can at least confide in Marcy, maybe she could relate. But grrr I really hate Bella. I want to punch her!! But she ended up helping andromeda feel closer to Ted so I guess it's not that bad. But I still hate you for not letting them kiss. Gah I wish I knew what Ted was thinking! It would be interesting to have a chapter surrounding him. Also what muggle stuff did he have to leave for? Just curious lol. UPDATE THE SECOND YOU GET BACK FROM YOUR TRIP PLEASE. And also I hope you have a wonderful time wherever you're going :) okay bye

Author's Response: YAY YOUR REVIEW MADE MY DAY COMPLETE!! I miss your story so much btw and I can't wait to catch up on it after writing this review haha :p I probably should make my characters cuss more, it's just so weird because I don't cuss so I have to literally remind myself that some of these kids probably cuss haha. Andie and her friends definitely have a lot of things they need to learn to trust each other on, and they will throughout the story, hopefully :) Haha everyone thought they were going to kiss, nope nope not yett :) Thanks so much for reviewing! My trip was fantastic, I went to Nicaragua and the Caribbean and it ended too soon :( But now that I'm back I'm excited to write write write!! Thanks again :D

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Review #8, by keytyAll Grown Up: Looking Down

20th June 2014:
Hey. Thanks for submitting!

This is beyond cute. It's short but it's not rushed, and you get everything across. I do wish it was longer (you know me) but it doesn't actually NEED to be, which is surprising considering its length. I think it's hilarious that Tonks is just sitting near Teddy and watching him snog Victoire. If only he knew.. haha I bet he would stop immediately. That would be funny. And then Remus comes in and you tie it in with James Sr. and man that kinda tugged at my heart. Anyway you know this is great, even if you won't admit it.

Results will be up in a week baaae.

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Review #9, by keytyAbove the Stormy Skies: Above the Stormy Skies

20th June 2014:
Hello! Thank you for submitting to my challenge. Here to review your entry!

I really enjoyed reading this. You did a really good job of writing Merope. I think that even after seeing the way he behaved as a child, and even at Hogwarts, she would have still loved him blindly. Just as you show here. I agree that the turning point for her would have been Tom Senior's murder. Merope was always perceived as weak willed, and I like that in the end she stood her ground against her son. I also liked the idea of her cloud changing with her emotions. Very interesting.

Thanks again for submitting! The results should be up within the next week or so :)

Author's Response: This challenge was very fun to write for especially since it is REALLY different. You have a wonderful idea! I'm glad you enjoyed her. Merope can be very naive and I see her as dismissing all Tom's past mistake, but when it comes to Tom Sr. She obviously had an unhealthy obsession with him. anyway, glad you enjoyed =D
& can't wait to see the results!


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Review #10, by keytyStar Gazer: Star Gazer

20th June 2014:
Hi! Thank you for submitting to my challenge! Here to review your entry :)

I think this is so lovely. You capture the Lovegoods so well. I especially like the comparison between Luna's grandmother's death and her mother's. How neither are desirable, but one is preferable. I also like how you show Luna's quick switch from child to nearly adult. In the books it's clear she's been forced to mature quickly, and I agree that it would have been a snap change. You also matched up your quote for the other challenge very well -- props on that! Your use of present tense works really well too. It's like she's living her entire life in one moment, like the saying about your life flashing before your eyes. It surprisingly flows very fell. Great entry. :)

Thanks again for submitting! The results should be up within the next week or so :)

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Review #11, by keytyObsidian Sky: Two Equal Halves

20th June 2014:
Hi! Thanks for submitting to my challenge. Here to review your entry!

This is very interesting. Personally I think you give Bellatrix a lot of credit - making her feel ashamed of torturing and killing people. It's possible she would have felt remorseful after dying. Your take on Voldemort was interesting too. I think it's possible that after dying he would have gained the ability to love, which is what I think you were trying to show here? One thing I'll say is that I was confused when he started to change his appearance. I didn't realize he was Tom Riddle at first, so I would suggest making that clear at the start. You have some great word choice though. For example, I love the line "Iíve held my seat for so long, cobwebs have bound me to it, growing thicker with each passing day, like chains that I could never break free of"
Overall I enjoyed the read :)

Thanks again for your submission! The results should be up within the next week.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!!

I definitely had fun writing this piece, even though it was incredibly difficult at times. Switching the tenses at different points in the story was super challenging, I kept trying to go back and change them, before I realized that I meant to do that.

I tried to portray the two different sides I see of Bella. I can see her being a better version of herself given different circumstances, but then again I kind of see how she became who and what she was. I don't think she'd necessaerily feel remorse for her actions as she was, but I think her "better" side might feel bad about some of the things she's done.

I've actually revised the bit about Tom's appearance, making it a bit more clear. In that instance they were each supposed to be the "better" version of themselves, so I imagine him to look more human than he does as Voldemort.

Since the vast majority of this, other than the flashbacks takes place mainly in Bella's mind/flashes in the afterlife, it was super hard to try and get everything across at certain points.

Thanks so much for the advice, and rest assured I had a beta go over this after i posted and am submitting the revisions this week. I'm glad you enjoyed some of my phrasing, that portion really struck me hard as well. I actually used a version of that for the banner request I submitted!

Thanks again for the great challenge, and the helpful review!


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Review #12, by keytyjust like all those times before: just like all those times before

20th June 2014:
Hello! Thank you for submitting to my challenge! Here to review your entry xx

Formatting wise I would suggest getting rid of the large gaps between paragraphs. They're kind of distracting. Of course that's your choice :)

This is a different take on Fred's death I haven't seen before. Personally I'm not sure Fred would be mad at George, or jealous of the rest of his siblings. It's definitely a possibility, and an interesting way for you to take it. I'm not sure I quite understood the second to last paragraph. Did Fred become a ghost? That is definitely interesting to think about.

Again, thank you for submitting to my challenge! The results should be posted within the next week :)

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Review #13, by keytyMy Girl: My Girl

5th May 2014:
Holy crapola, Georgia. How in the world did you do this? I could never have gotten past not being able to use 'the'. I bow down to you and your magical writing prowess. I really like this a lot. It sounds kind of formal but that's because you couldn't use wife, or the, or daughter, or Rose, or Hermione. But I think it kind of fits. Because Ron would definitely try to be a little posh and look good in front of Draco's son, at least that's what I think. But I like how you made Ron kind of accept Scorpius through their connection (another word you didn't use!) with Rose and Hermione. Because that's definitely something they're going to relate on. I can just imagine like an argument between them and Hermione and Rose. And at first they're hesitant to team up but then they're like yeah! We're right about this! You guys are going down! And Hermione and Rose are just like what since when do you guys get along? And since then they're best buds. New headcanon.
Anyway this was brilliant. Props to you for not going bald pulling all your hair out at not using e. That's pretty impressive. Go Georgia!

Author's Response: Hey!!! Thanks so much for leaving me a review!! I wasn't expecting this, and it totally made my day!

I totally love the image of Ron&Scorpius vs Hermione&Rose. Then Hugo would be in the middle trying to make everything better.

I don't know how I managed to write this. It was a bit of nighttime inspiration. I had to change the summary and it took me about twenty minutes, but the entire story only took me an hour or so... I wish I was that way more often.

Thanks so much for such a nice review!!


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Review #14, by keytyDon't Say The "P" Word: Surprise?

21st April 2014:
Okay well I was way off again. Molly is such a little turd. Why is she like that?! I just feel so bad for Ron. He's so protective and I'm pretty sure he's close to having an aneurysm. But like when is someone gonna slap Molly? And really why is she so dang flabbity rude? And on a scale from Nearly Headless Nick to Bellatrix Lestrange, how drawn out and painful is Scorpius's death going to be? Because I'm guessing Harry and Ron are going to team up and do something and then for good measure take out Draco too.

Just kidding. Kind of.

I'm curious to see how everyone will react! But really this wasn't as bad as you made it out to be, and it IS getting better!

Author's Response: Yeah, I've just kind of come to expect it ;)

DUH. IT'S MOLLY. GO READ THE SHORT STORY IF YOU WANT TO KNOW.

Yeah, probably, maybe I'll pull an MLS and give him an aneurysm. KIDDING. JUST KIDDING. Lol, I can't even, I'm laughing so hard. I think I'm crying. Your reviews are priceless. Thanks, and duh it's getting better, my writing is improving.

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #15, by keytyDon't Say The "P" Word: A Shadow In Your Imagination

21st April 2014:
Oh hey. This was hella cute. I wish it was that easy to get a sonogram, just a little wave of your wand and poof you can see it in your stomach. But I'm guessing Blair heard and now the whole school is going to know. So that's gonna suck. I don't get it -- they're friends but Rose doesn't want to tell her? We haven't seen much of her so I'm kind of confused. Oh well. This is gonna be a short review because I don't have much time to read the next chapter. Moving on!

Author's Response: Oh hey. Well, at least it wasn't too overdramatic. WRONG AGAIN. Uh, they're kind of like frenemies. Blair wants everything Rose has, perfect grades, famous family, prefect, you know. The ushe. Okay. RUN RUN RUN FORREST!

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #16, by keytyDon't Say The "P" Word: It All Ends In Fire and Ice

21st April 2014:
Okay why does she still refer to the father of her child as Malfoy? I think she needs to get a little more personal with him. Can you just imagine their baby's first word, looking at him, he/she says 'Malfoy'. And he just goes 'Dammit, Rose, I keep asking you not to call me that and now our baby thinks that's my name. Look at what you've done.'

Okay that was weird. Anyway.

I knew itt. I totally knew itt. And since I read MLS I already know how the family finds out. So that's awkward. Oops. And with the recent mention of snow I think that's soon? So much drama. I love it.

Author's Response: LOLOLOLOLOL. That was hilarious. I can't even. You're priceless. And it's more of a habit now, you've been calling someone Malfoy for the last 6 years it's kind of hard to just suddenly change that habit.

Okay. WAIT. So now you love the drama? I'm so confused. STOP CONFUSING ME LADY.

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #17, by keytyDon't Say The "P" Word: When Family Turns Into Frenzy

21st April 2014:
Okay well I mean I was kind of close. Al blurted it out but dang I wasn't expecting him to punch Scorpius. That's awkward. Poor guy, he hasn't even wrapped his head around this whole thing and now he's probably got a bloody nose. So I mean the next chapter will definitely be dramatic. I'm guessing Scorpius will either make his move or need time to think. But apparently my guesses are off so maybe it's neither of those things. I'm just hoping Albus calms the heck down. I needs to take a chill pill. For real.

Author's Response: Okay, well, I mean, kind of. But not fully. Duh. Al was mad, think of Al as protective older brother that's not actually older (Because i'm pretty sure Rose is a few months older than Al). Haha, yeah, your guesses are off. I promise he'll take a chill pill.

Btw. I'm not changing that scene in the re-write. That's staying.

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #18, by keytyDon't Say The "P" Word: What To Expect When You're Expecting

21st April 2014:
Oh man, Jacqueline, you better not say the P word. Ha. See what I did there? I'm funny. I totally called it though! I knew it was gonna be this chapter! And I didn't even look at the names, though that would have been a dead giveaway tbh. But okay this isn't making me as uncomfortable as I thought. Not yet. I'm thinking there are a few different ways this could go. One is that she forces Jacqueline to secrecy and nobody finds out until she's showing (unlikely). Another is that she tells Lily and Lily blabs... again (more likely). The last is that she accidentally blurts it out to Scorpius, maybe even in front of a bunch of other people. Probably after falling. (also more likely). I'm really curious to see how everyone will react. I'm guessing Al will be mad again, James will probably be mad for a little bit, not long. I think Lily will be pretty supportive. And then Hugo will probably just be like 'what now you're gonna be even more motherly get away from me'. True story. Just wrote out everything else right there. Just kidding. Wow this review got really long. Okay, I'm rambling. Moving on to the next chapterr!

Author's Response: Ha. Haha. Hahaha. You're so funny I can't handle it. Yeah, I know, the titles are intentionally a dead give away. I did that intentionally. Haha, I love you being wrong. This is great. LOL now I'm making Hugo react like that. Thanks for the idea.

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #19, by keytyDon't Say The "P" Word: Surely You Must Be Joking

21st April 2014:
At least she seems to be winning back her friends/cousins! I can see why they would be hurt that she didn't tell them, but really they're all just so dramatic :P And of course Scorpius is just so cute. But I think it's good for him to be rejected. The way you write him kind of reminds me of Sirius, but only just a bit. For the flashback, I don't think it needs to be in italics, just because it still sounds like she's looking back on it. Anyway I'm kind of excited about Rose rejected Scorpius. Stand your ground, girl! I wonder if next chapter she's finding out she's pregnant. Hm, I wonder how he'll take that.

Author's Response: Duh. Nobody could actually stay mad at her. Lol this story is so bad. I'm re-writing it, I promise it won't stay this dramatic. But I did tell you 3 was the worst! This is getting the biggest re-write.

Haha, the chapter titles kind of give it all away, just so you know :P

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #20, by keytyDon't Say The "P" Word: If You Can't Be My Knight In Shining Armour, Who Will?

21st April 2014:
Oh hey. Fancy seeing you here ;)

Rose is such a drama queen though. Like I get she loves Scorpius but I feel like she could have gone about this better. She's kind of reminding me of Tonks here, what with all her clumsiness. And her seemingly unrequited love. She's so oblivious, it's obvious that Scorpius cares for her. Oh well. She'll figure it out soon enough.

Author's Response: Oh hey. Imagine that. ;)

Hahahahaha, you hate how dramatic this story is. I kind of love it. Like, ugh, it's just perfect. Yeah, but sometimes the people who care, don't realize the other one cares too because they're SO wrapped up in how they feel. Plus, I mean, I couldn't have them get together RIGHT away. :p

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #21, by keytyDon't Say The "P" Word: The Best Way To Start Off The Year

21st April 2014:
Hey Sarah!

You know this really isn't that bad, I don't know what you're going on about. I like the little details you put in, like the Weasley red, or when Scorpius traced her arm. And I think this is a good start to the story, too. You've told us how Rose feels for Scorpius, how she thinks Scorpius feels about her. How Albus is usually very calm, but has a weak spot where Rose is concerned. And then how James just takes everything lightly and isn't as picky as his brother. Even though this topic is weird for me it doesn't seem too bad so far. Okay, moving on! :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Oh man, it really isn't good, though. I'm definitely rewriting 1-6 so they'll be less.. Dramatic. But thanks for reading even though it makes you uncomfortable, you're sweet!

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #22, by keytyOne Blaze of Glory: In Cups of Coffee

21st April 2014:
Nooo where's the rest? Update soon please!

I'm glad this was a happier chapter. I was so afraid something bad was going to happen! But it didn't. Does that mean it will in the next chapter? Now I'm really scared. But I like Marcellus and Marietta's little coffee date. It was sweet. They got to talk about stuff that regular people talk about, they were young again. And I love the detail you have with her, like the bit about the lipstick on her tooth.

I also love the bench metaphor for Romulus's love life. It's kind of sweet, Avril sitting there with Maria. Hopefully he starts to open up to her more, because he's right, when your life span gets shorter, you've gotta live quicker! He needs to experience happiness, not just all this misery. That's all he's been allowing himself to feel, and I'm glad he's decided to give Maria a chance. He really needs to let himself be happy. I just hope things go well between them. They both seem really intense and that could get bad quick.

I must say, I'm worried about Bennett's meeting. It seems that the only interests he has in mind are his own. I bet if the financial advantage was switched, he'd defend his tenants in a heartbeat. Maybe they should start investing in the lottery... Hmm how funny would that be? They could just 'buy' Bennett back. :P

Anywho, another lovely chapter! Can't wait for you to update and scare me with more foreshadowing ;)

Author's Response: Hello once again!! The rest is... somewhere...
Chapter seven will be up within the next two weeks.

I'm so happy that you're scared. And I'm also such a horrible person, but I don't even care. I will tell you that the next chapter will be the fluffiest chapter in the whole thing.

Romulus has a weird love life. Technically, Bellatrix should be somewhere on that bench because they were supposed to get married, but I choose to ignore that.

Romulus... has issues. He's starting to understand himself better, though. It's funny that you say "when your life span gets shorter, you've gotta live quicker" because the tagline of Rent, which this novella is based off of, is "No Day But Today".

Again, Bennett is complicated. I'm not sure if his issues will ever really come up in the second half of the novella, but... yeah. I think of him a little bit like Regulus, in that he made some bad choices and now he's a little lost.

Thank you thank you thank you for such amazing reviews! You're the best!!


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Review #23, by keytyOne Blaze of Glory: Reason Says I Should've Died Three Years Ago

21st April 2014:
Oh, yay! I'm glad Romulus is being less stubborn. He needs to realize that brooding will not help anything. He would be so much easier on himself by going out and doing things, distracting himself, instead of laying in bed and thinking things over and over.

But wow, Greyback is just so awful. It sucks that these people have been put in this situation. They have no money, and they are being shunned from society. It's only natural for them to take the first chance they get at any kind of money. But it's just so terrible that they made Portia kill that child. And it's just worse that they'll have to go to the funeral from afar. At least Bennett told them about it, but I don't think that's an indication of his attitude getting better any time soon.

*sigh*

I wish I could blame you for their hard times, but this is completely realistic (unlike my story where I just bring tragedy upon my poor OC). Everything that happens makes complete sense, and I honestly couldn't expect anything better for the times they're living in. You're doing a great job of portraying the life of werewolves during the 70s. This is just such a great story. You deserve a pat on the back!

Author's Response: Yay!! Hello again!!

Romulus... man, he's so difficult and angsty and frustrating. He'll get a little bit more agreeable. One of my goals with this novella is to create characters that are really seriously flawed, but somehow you're rooting for them are care about them anyway.

But yeah... Romulus... he was wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. Every day. His bed is just on the wrong side.

Greyback is really awful. He does not fit in with the earlier statement of wanting to create characters the reader cares about. I hate him, you can hate him, we can all just agree to hate him.

Bennett is... complicated. Obviously, from these character's POV's, he's one of the villains, but he's also stuck between a rock and a hard place. I might eventually write a one-shot or short-story about him.

Hmm... I wonder if you'll keep the same attitude of not blaming me for their hard times wink wink wink.

I literally just pat myself on the back and now I'm getting stares and I just sort of pretending it was an itch. Thanks so much for that.

But really, thanks so much!


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Review #24, by keytyOne Blaze of Glory: I Can't Control My Destiny

21st April 2014:
Hi! It's been so long! I'm so glad I'm back!

I've missed reading this! You are just such a lovely writer. There were so many interesting twists in this chapter. I like that you're including their backstory. I think sometimes people get so focused on the plot that they forget to reveal important information from the characters' pasts. And their parents' involvement with Bennett is also really interesting. I'm curious to see how that'll pan out.

And then there's poor Marietta. It must be devastating to have to go through all of that. First she finds out her father is the head of the Black family, then she's attacked by werewolves. At least he's helping them out, but still, it must be really difficult. This may have been answered in an earlier chapter, but it's been so long since I've read them (sorry!). Did Marietta inherit any magical powers? If not it must have been even more shocking to her to have to go through the whole ordeal.

Even though there wasn't much plot movement here, I still love this, because it's still really interesting. It makes me more curious to read on -- so I'm going to do just that! :)

Author's Response: Hello!! Thank you so much for these reviews, you're so nice!!!

For these characters, their pasts really dictate who they are, so I thought it was important to pretty much dedicate a chapter to it.

Oh man, Marietta would be so mad if she knew you said "poor Marietta". For her, even though she's had an exceptionally rough life, I think she'd be bored if she were normal. If she was actually raised a Black, I think she would've gone crazy. Yep, all these characters are magical (other than ones specifically said to be muggles, like Walter. Who isn't in the chapter, I don't thin. But whatever). The reason they rarely do magic is because A-Maria and Marietta were turned before they turned 11, so they never went to Hogwarts and B-At least in Marcellus and Romulus' building, they're not supposed to use magic so that the Ministry doesn't know all the werewolves are living in one place.

(Because I imagine that if the Ministry noticed a high concentration of magical activity in a muggle neighborhood, they'd investigate)

Yeah, something I could've done better is get the plot moving faster. These first four chapters are a lot of character development, and then the plot moves incredibly quickly in the second half.

Thanks so much for the review!! I'm gonna go respond to your other two :D


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Review #25, by keytyThe Lost Wolf: Street Spirit

21st April 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review :)

I must say at first I couldn't even tell that English wasn't your first language! There are a few odd word choices here and there, and a few spelling errors, but nothing a good proof reading can't fix. If you're really feeling like that's not enough, you can always request a beta in the forums! I'm sure someone would be happy to help you.

I do need to point out that there are a few discrepancies. Prisoner of Azkaban takes place in '93, not '90. This would make Cassandra 20 (which I think might be better if you plan on pairing her up with Sirius).

So far I do really like this story. It's very interesting. I like Cassandra's character. She's basically been on her own all her life, and now she's more alone than ever. But I can tell that she's strong and that these resurfacing memories will help her get through this. I'm a bit confused about her wound --if it was a werewolf that bit her, which you seem to be suggesting (please correct me if I'm wrong!) how has she not transformed? You said it had been two months since the attack, so I'm just a bit confused there. I like the idea of her being a prodigy. I'm guessing she would sort in Ravenclaw, huh?

I'm curious as to how exactly the Colonel found her.. was she in an orphanage? I think it would be interesting for you to go a bit deeper into what happened to her as a child, and into her upbringing. He does seem like an awful man --that's probably why his wife left him! --so I'm glad she got away from him. I wonder how Colonel Anderson felt about all of this. Did he want to marry her? Would he be relieved as well?

And then there's Sirius. Can you hear my romantic sighs? I think that the introduction of Cassandra into his memories is very unique. I'm guessing she is Remus's daughter, seeing as she subconsciously chose that name. Ooh, maybe it was him that attacked her? That would be weird. I am surprised that Sirius didn't recognize her though. He kept thinking about her eyes but then it didn't click when he looked into them? That seemed a bit odd.

Nonetheless, I'm still curious to see how this continues. Please feel free to come back and re-request (after a cycle of requests has gone through)! I review up to 10,000 words at a time, which is why I only did the first three chapters here. If you choose to re-request just submit a rated link to your story and tell me the chapters you'd like me to review, and also if there are any specifics you'd like me to touch up on. I hope that this review was helpful! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked the story so far!

Regarding the year during which the story is set, I did it on purpose, but it's my fault not to have pointed it out in an author's note. Let me explain: I sort of anticipated the books events, keeping the Marauders' birth date Canon. Basically, instead of Cassandra being 20, I have Sirius being 30. In the end I sort of have the same result you suggested, just more complicated to explain ;)

I'm so happy you liked Sirius! He didn't recognise Cassie simply because he didn't actually see her eyes. It was very very dark in the alley, darker than when he saw Harry :)

Regarding your other questions/suggestions... Everything will be explained, and Cassandra's past will be analysed profusely :)


Thank you again for your review! I'll surely re-request in a couple of weeks :)



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