Reading Reviews From Member: keyty
117 Reviews Found

Review #1, by keytyDefiant Blood, Defiant Love: Andromeda Goes To The Library…Not To Study

24th August 2014:
Girl you are killing me. I was just reading as fast as I could thinking KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS and then they didn't kiss. So disappointed. They're so cute. He's so cute with her. I ship it so hard. Please update soon! Ahhh!!

Author's Response: Lol I know I'm going to keep bothering all my readers with that, but it is coming, son :))

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Review #2, by keytyDefiant Blood, Defiant Love: Rash Meets Reason

21st July 2014:
YAY!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY THEY ARE SO CUTE. I'm so glad Andie's plan worked! Ahh I almost melted when he (indirectly) said he was in love with her. That was so sweet. And I think Marcy can help Andie now. It would be so cool if she returned the favor to help her get with Ted. But of course Marcy has it easier. Her sister isn't a lunatic death eater. She's definitely onto something now though. It wasn't very smart of Andie to use Ted. She should have used (name of her Hufflepuff friend I'm totally blanking on) to give Jamison the note. Oh well. That'll add up to more drama so yay! I'm so scared for Marcy though. And what happens to her will be an indicator of what will happen to Andie. Uh oh. Please update soon! I can't wait to read more!!!

Author's Response: Yay thanks for reviewing!! I know it finally worked, and I wish I could write more from their perspective so I will try to squeeze that in. Marcy definitely has it easier, and hopefully she will try to help Andromeda, but for now no one knows about Ted :o Thanks again :))

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Review #3, by keytyDefiant Blood, Defiant Love: When Bella Writes

2nd July 2014:
WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?! Ah I'm reading on my phone and by the time the chapter ended it was almost touching my face. EVEN THOUGH YOURE MEAN I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. I love that Andromeda is finally coming to terms with her feelings for Ted. Stupid Rabastan, being a git. It's weird because irl I cuss a lot, and everyone I know does and it doesn't bother me. But since in this story people rarely cuss when he does it just makes me hate him more. I don't know if that's on purpose or not but there you go lol. I love that Zan gets her. It's sad that her "closer" friends are all so afraid of being different, like she is, so they can't trust each other. Or at least she doesn't feel that way. I hope she can at least confide in Marcy, maybe she could relate. But grrr I really hate Bella. I want to punch her!! But she ended up helping andromeda feel closer to Ted so I guess it's not that bad. But I still hate you for not letting them kiss. Gah I wish I knew what Ted was thinking! It would be interesting to have a chapter surrounding him. Also what muggle stuff did he have to leave for? Just curious lol. UPDATE THE SECOND YOU GET BACK FROM YOUR TRIP PLEASE. And also I hope you have a wonderful time wherever you're going :) okay bye

Author's Response: YAY YOUR REVIEW MADE MY DAY COMPLETE!! I miss your story so much btw and I can't wait to catch up on it after writing this review haha :p I probably should make my characters cuss more, it's just so weird because I don't cuss so I have to literally remind myself that some of these kids probably cuss haha. Andie and her friends definitely have a lot of things they need to learn to trust each other on, and they will throughout the story, hopefully :) Haha everyone thought they were going to kiss, nope nope not yett :) Thanks so much for reviewing! My trip was fantastic, I went to Nicaragua and the Caribbean and it ended too soon :( But now that I'm back I'm excited to write write write!! Thanks again :D

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Review #4, by keytyAll Grown Up: Looking Down

20th June 2014:
Hey. Thanks for submitting!

This is beyond cute. It's short but it's not rushed, and you get everything across. I do wish it was longer (you know me) but it doesn't actually NEED to be, which is surprising considering its length. I think it's hilarious that Tonks is just sitting near Teddy and watching him snog Victoire. If only he knew.. haha I bet he would stop immediately. That would be funny. And then Remus comes in and you tie it in with James Sr. and man that kinda tugged at my heart. Anyway you know this is great, even if you won't admit it.

Results will be up in a week baaae.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks honey bunny! I'm glad you liked it, it was way way way way way way way out of my comfort zone. Thanks for the review bae. xoxo Sarah

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Review #5, by keytyStar Gazer: Star Gazer

20th June 2014:
Hi! Thank you for submitting to my challenge! Here to review your entry :)

I think this is so lovely. You capture the Lovegoods so well. I especially like the comparison between Luna's grandmother's death and her mother's. How neither are desirable, but one is preferable. I also like how you show Luna's quick switch from child to nearly adult. In the books it's clear she's been forced to mature quickly, and I agree that it would have been a snap change. You also matched up your quote for the other challenge very well -- props on that! Your use of present tense works really well too. It's like she's living her entire life in one moment, like the saying about your life flashing before your eyes. It surprisingly flows very fell. Great entry. :)

Thanks again for submitting! The results should be up within the next week or so :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review and the challenge! It was so much fun to write and it really pushed me out of my comfort zone. I'd never really given any thought to Luna's mother before you suggested her so this was new territory for me.

I'm so thrilled you noticed the tense! In present tense, you do shift back and forth when talking about the past, but since she was dead I kind of wanted there to be no past or future. Like everything that ever happened and everything that ever would happen were happening in one moment. I wasn't sure how well I wound up conveying that, so it means a lot for you to mention it.

This was loads of fun to write! :)

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Review #6, by keytyObsidian Sky: Two Equal Halves

20th June 2014:
Hi! Thanks for submitting to my challenge. Here to review your entry!

This is very interesting. Personally I think you give Bellatrix a lot of credit - making her feel ashamed of torturing and killing people. It's possible she would have felt remorseful after dying. Your take on Voldemort was interesting too. I think it's possible that after dying he would have gained the ability to love, which is what I think you were trying to show here? One thing I'll say is that I was confused when he started to change his appearance. I didn't realize he was Tom Riddle at first, so I would suggest making that clear at the start. You have some great word choice though. For example, I love the line "I’ve held my seat for so long, cobwebs have bound me to it, growing thicker with each passing day, like chains that I could never break free of"
Overall I enjoyed the read :)

Thanks again for your submission! The results should be up within the next week.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!!

I definitely had fun writing this piece, even though it was incredibly difficult at times. Switching the tenses at different points in the story was super challenging, I kept trying to go back and change them, before I realized that I meant to do that.

I tried to portray the two different sides I see of Bella. I can see her being a better version of herself given different circumstances, but then again I kind of see how she became who and what she was. I don't think she'd necessaerily feel remorse for her actions as she was, but I think her "better" side might feel bad about some of the things she's done.

I've actually revised the bit about Tom's appearance, making it a bit more clear. In that instance they were each supposed to be the "better" version of themselves, so I imagine him to look more human than he does as Voldemort.

Since the vast majority of this, other than the flashbacks takes place mainly in Bella's mind/flashes in the afterlife, it was super hard to try and get everything across at certain points.

Thanks so much for the advice, and rest assured I had a beta go over this after i posted and am submitting the revisions this week. I'm glad you enjoyed some of my phrasing, that portion really struck me hard as well. I actually used a version of that for the banner request I submitted!

Thanks again for the great challenge, and the helpful review!

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Review #7, by keytyMy Girl: My Girl

5th May 2014:
Holy crapola, Georgia. How in the world did you do this? I could never have gotten past not being able to use 'the'. I bow down to you and your magical writing prowess. I really like this a lot. It sounds kind of formal but that's because you couldn't use wife, or the, or daughter, or Rose, or Hermione. But I think it kind of fits. Because Ron would definitely try to be a little posh and look good in front of Draco's son, at least that's what I think. But I like how you made Ron kind of accept Scorpius through their connection (another word you didn't use!) with Rose and Hermione. Because that's definitely something they're going to relate on. I can just imagine like an argument between them and Hermione and Rose. And at first they're hesitant to team up but then they're like yeah! We're right about this! You guys are going down! And Hermione and Rose are just like what since when do you guys get along? And since then they're best buds. New headcanon.
Anyway this was brilliant. Props to you for not going bald pulling all your hair out at not using e. That's pretty impressive. Go Georgia!

Author's Response: Hey!!! Thanks so much for leaving me a review!! I wasn't expecting this, and it totally made my day!

I totally love the image of Ron&Scorpius vs Hermione&Rose. Then Hugo would be in the middle trying to make everything better.

I don't know how I managed to write this. It was a bit of nighttime inspiration. I had to change the summary and it took me about twenty minutes, but the entire story only took me an hour or so... I wish I was that way more often.

Thanks so much for such a nice review!!

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Review #8, by keytyOne Blaze of Glory: In Cups of Coffee

21st April 2014:
Nooo where's the rest? Update soon please!

I'm glad this was a happier chapter. I was so afraid something bad was going to happen! But it didn't. Does that mean it will in the next chapter? Now I'm really scared. But I like Marcellus and Marietta's little coffee date. It was sweet. They got to talk about stuff that regular people talk about, they were young again. And I love the detail you have with her, like the bit about the lipstick on her tooth.

I also love the bench metaphor for Romulus's love life. It's kind of sweet, Avril sitting there with Maria. Hopefully he starts to open up to her more, because he's right, when your life span gets shorter, you've gotta live quicker! He needs to experience happiness, not just all this misery. That's all he's been allowing himself to feel, and I'm glad he's decided to give Maria a chance. He really needs to let himself be happy. I just hope things go well between them. They both seem really intense and that could get bad quick.

I must say, I'm worried about Bennett's meeting. It seems that the only interests he has in mind are his own. I bet if the financial advantage was switched, he'd defend his tenants in a heartbeat. Maybe they should start investing in the lottery... Hmm how funny would that be? They could just 'buy' Bennett back. :P

Anywho, another lovely chapter! Can't wait for you to update and scare me with more foreshadowing ;)

Author's Response: Hello once again!! The rest is... somewhere...
Chapter seven will be up within the next two weeks.

I'm so happy that you're scared. And I'm also such a horrible person, but I don't even care. I will tell you that the next chapter will be the fluffiest chapter in the whole thing.

Romulus has a weird love life. Technically, Bellatrix should be somewhere on that bench because they were supposed to get married, but I choose to ignore that.

Romulus... has issues. He's starting to understand himself better, though. It's funny that you say "when your life span gets shorter, you've gotta live quicker" because the tagline of Rent, which this novella is based off of, is "No Day But Today".

Again, Bennett is complicated. I'm not sure if his issues will ever really come up in the second half of the novella, but... yeah. I think of him a little bit like Regulus, in that he made some bad choices and now he's a little lost.

Thank you thank you thank you for such amazing reviews! You're the best!!

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Review #9, by keytyOne Blaze of Glory: Reason Says I Should've Died Three Years Ago

21st April 2014:
Oh, yay! I'm glad Romulus is being less stubborn. He needs to realize that brooding will not help anything. He would be so much easier on himself by going out and doing things, distracting himself, instead of laying in bed and thinking things over and over.

But wow, Greyback is just so awful. It sucks that these people have been put in this situation. They have no money, and they are being shunned from society. It's only natural for them to take the first chance they get at any kind of money. But it's just so terrible that they made Portia kill that child. And it's just worse that they'll have to go to the funeral from afar. At least Bennett told them about it, but I don't think that's an indication of his attitude getting better any time soon.


I wish I could blame you for their hard times, but this is completely realistic (unlike my story where I just bring tragedy upon my poor OC). Everything that happens makes complete sense, and I honestly couldn't expect anything better for the times they're living in. You're doing a great job of portraying the life of werewolves during the 70s. This is just such a great story. You deserve a pat on the back!

Author's Response: Yay!! Hello again!!

Romulus... man, he's so difficult and angsty and frustrating. He'll get a little bit more agreeable. One of my goals with this novella is to create characters that are really seriously flawed, but somehow you're rooting for them are care about them anyway.

But yeah... Romulus... he was wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. Every day. His bed is just on the wrong side.

Greyback is really awful. He does not fit in with the earlier statement of wanting to create characters the reader cares about. I hate him, you can hate him, we can all just agree to hate him.

Bennett is... complicated. Obviously, from these character's POV's, he's one of the villains, but he's also stuck between a rock and a hard place. I might eventually write a one-shot or short-story about him.

Hmm... I wonder if you'll keep the same attitude of not blaming me for their hard times wink wink wink.

I literally just pat myself on the back and now I'm getting stares and I just sort of pretending it was an itch. Thanks so much for that.

But really, thanks so much!

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Review #10, by keytyOne Blaze of Glory: I Can't Control My Destiny

21st April 2014:
Hi! It's been so long! I'm so glad I'm back!

I've missed reading this! You are just such a lovely writer. There were so many interesting twists in this chapter. I like that you're including their backstory. I think sometimes people get so focused on the plot that they forget to reveal important information from the characters' pasts. And their parents' involvement with Bennett is also really interesting. I'm curious to see how that'll pan out.

And then there's poor Marietta. It must be devastating to have to go through all of that. First she finds out her father is the head of the Black family, then she's attacked by werewolves. At least he's helping them out, but still, it must be really difficult. This may have been answered in an earlier chapter, but it's been so long since I've read them (sorry!). Did Marietta inherit any magical powers? If not it must have been even more shocking to her to have to go through the whole ordeal.

Even though there wasn't much plot movement here, I still love this, because it's still really interesting. It makes me more curious to read on -- so I'm going to do just that! :)

Author's Response: Hello!! Thank you so much for these reviews, you're so nice!!!

For these characters, their pasts really dictate who they are, so I thought it was important to pretty much dedicate a chapter to it.

Oh man, Marietta would be so mad if she knew you said "poor Marietta". For her, even though she's had an exceptionally rough life, I think she'd be bored if she were normal. If she was actually raised a Black, I think she would've gone crazy. Yep, all these characters are magical (other than ones specifically said to be muggles, like Walter. Who isn't in the chapter, I don't thin. But whatever). The reason they rarely do magic is because A-Maria and Marietta were turned before they turned 11, so they never went to Hogwarts and B-At least in Marcellus and Romulus' building, they're not supposed to use magic so that the Ministry doesn't know all the werewolves are living in one place.

(Because I imagine that if the Ministry noticed a high concentration of magical activity in a muggle neighborhood, they'd investigate)

Yeah, something I could've done better is get the plot moving faster. These first four chapters are a lot of character development, and then the plot moves incredibly quickly in the second half.

Thanks so much for the review!! I'm gonna go respond to your other two :D

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Review #11, by keytyThe Lost Wolf: Street Spirit

21st April 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review :)

I must say at first I couldn't even tell that English wasn't your first language! There are a few odd word choices here and there, and a few spelling errors, but nothing a good proof reading can't fix. If you're really feeling like that's not enough, you can always request a beta in the forums! I'm sure someone would be happy to help you.

I do need to point out that there are a few discrepancies. Prisoner of Azkaban takes place in '93, not '90. This would make Cassandra 20 (which I think might be better if you plan on pairing her up with Sirius).

So far I do really like this story. It's very interesting. I like Cassandra's character. She's basically been on her own all her life, and now she's more alone than ever. But I can tell that she's strong and that these resurfacing memories will help her get through this. I'm a bit confused about her wound --if it was a werewolf that bit her, which you seem to be suggesting (please correct me if I'm wrong!) how has she not transformed? You said it had been two months since the attack, so I'm just a bit confused there. I like the idea of her being a prodigy. I'm guessing she would sort in Ravenclaw, huh?

I'm curious as to how exactly the Colonel found her.. was she in an orphanage? I think it would be interesting for you to go a bit deeper into what happened to her as a child, and into her upbringing. He does seem like an awful man --that's probably why his wife left him! --so I'm glad she got away from him. I wonder how Colonel Anderson felt about all of this. Did he want to marry her? Would he be relieved as well?

And then there's Sirius. Can you hear my romantic sighs? I think that the introduction of Cassandra into his memories is very unique. I'm guessing she is Remus's daughter, seeing as she subconsciously chose that name. Ooh, maybe it was him that attacked her? That would be weird. I am surprised that Sirius didn't recognize her though. He kept thinking about her eyes but then it didn't click when he looked into them? That seemed a bit odd.

Nonetheless, I'm still curious to see how this continues. Please feel free to come back and re-request (after a cycle of requests has gone through)! I review up to 10,000 words at a time, which is why I only did the first three chapters here. If you choose to re-request just submit a rated link to your story and tell me the chapters you'd like me to review, and also if there are any specifics you'd like me to touch up on. I hope that this review was helpful! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked the story so far!

Regarding the year during which the story is set, I did it on purpose, but it's my fault not to have pointed it out in an author's note. Let me explain: I sort of anticipated the books events, keeping the Marauders' birth date Canon. Basically, instead of Cassandra being 20, I have Sirius being 30. In the end I sort of have the same result you suggested, just more complicated to explain ;)

I'm so happy you liked Sirius! He didn't recognise Cassie simply because he didn't actually see her eyes. It was very very dark in the alley, darker than when he saw Harry :)

Regarding your other questions/suggestions... Everything will be explained, and Cassandra's past will be analysed profusely :)

Thank you again for your review! I'll surely re-request in a couple of weeks :)

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Review #12, by keytyTwelve: The Morning of March

20th April 2014:
Why hello there!

So this was an interesting chapter. You did a good job of bringing back to the surface the fact that in the end this is a ScoRose story. I thought the scene in the snow was pretty cute, and it just goes to show how innocent Rose is. Any other girl would be worried what Marcus would think about it, but Rose knows that they're just friends. It doesn't mean anything romantic (as far as she knows, that is), so she's not worried. I like that Scorpius is (very, very slowly) coming to terms with the way he feels about her. It's about time! :) Haha. I know that Rose will be very slow to feel the same way about him, what with her relationship with Marcus and her inevitable discovery of the bet.

As for Scorpius, I'm glad he didn't just go with this task. I feel like in the end he's just going to do it, because the company means a lot to him. But it obviously is going to affect him very negatively. And I think this will reinforce Marcus's behavior. Because if/when Scorpius completes the task Marcus will know he can make him do anything, and get away with it. As for Rose it's clear she'll be really upset with Scorpius. But I think she'll know something is off with him. If he really doesn't want to do it, she'll recognize this as strange and try to make him tell her what's going on.

I'm not really surprised that Marcus is being so twofaced. What else can you expect? He's just now becoming a 'different person', so he's not going to stop being mean. And clearly they've both got reasons for keeping it a secret from Rose, so it will be a long while before she finds out, I think.

I hadn't really thought about Rose being one of the girls, and that's an interesting thought. I think that the only way she would be one is if Marcus was very confident that she would stay with him no matter what. The only way I can see him using her for a task is saying 'Steal her from me', because if he's that sure of himself he'll think it's impossible. That would be really interesting. Hm. But I'm not sure that will happen. I guess I'll just have to wait and see!

I hope that these were helpful. Feel free to re-request (after a cycle of requests has gone through:) ) and I'll be happy to continue reviewing!

Author's Response: It also shows a little bit that Rose isn't going to choose another guy over Scorpius. Yes she believes that they are only friends and a bit naïvely she believes that everyone else should see that too. I don't think she has ever thought about her and Scorpius relationship as possibly being seen as more, and because of that she isn't going to act differently. She just sees it as being special, and she knows that they are closer than most best friends. If that makes sense. At the current moment I don't think Scorpius is coming to terms with anything. I think he is at that stage of just realizing that she isn't the same girl he befriended in his second year. But his actual confrontation of liking her isn't far off. Yes Rose has a bit farther to go with her feelings of Scorpius than he does, but they will come.
I feel that Socrpius is a bit defiant sometimes and he is going to argue with the things he doesn't agree with, even if he really cant do anything about it. Trust me when I say Marcus already knows that he can make Scorpius do anything. He is feeling a bit untouchable at the moment, besides having the control of the company, he also has Rose. Now yes he may like her, but it would be unrealistic of Marcus to have not at least considered that he can use Rose against Scorpius. That doesn't mean he is going to act on it, but the thought has crossed his mind in passing. But that is Marucs, he has multiple thoughts in a day about how he can play with others. Although now that he is dating Rose, the way he acts upon those thoughts have changed, meaning that he doesn't act on them as much anymore. Rose does become slightly suspicious but unfortunately something is going to happen that may somehow compensate for her suspicion and make her believe something else.
IT will be a long long while before she finds out.
Good prediction, you may just have to keep reading and find out when the time comes.
Thanks for reading.

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Review #13, by keytyTwelve: The Last of February

20th April 2014:
Hello! Addressing your concerns from your request :)

As far as characterization goes, I think so far you're still pretty consistent. All of their actions make sense from what they've done in the past. Rose still acts like Rose, and I do think she was justified in her actions. She's giving Marcus another chance, and so far he's proving to be a somewhat changed man. She knows that he's interested and if she feels the same way why shouldn't she reciprocate? I think you're right, people don't understand because they just want ScoRose. But it makes sense. I haven't seen too many instances where the relationship between Scorpius and Rose was suggested as romantic. There were a few moments where you've hinted at how this could develop, but for now they just see each other as friends. With Marcus it's been a different story. She's been nervous around him, she's liked being around him, and here you can see that she does really like him. Why else would she hang out with him all day? I think it makes sense.

I was a bit surprised at Scorpius when he talked about his lineage, but I guess when you're with someone annoying you probably get a little snarky. Obviously he surprised myself, but like I've said before he's one to speak before he thinks at times. So it still fits in his character for him to say that when he's annoyed. I'm curious to see what he's going to say to Rose about what he saw. Technically she went back on her word and spent her Hogsmeade trip with Marcus, so maybe he'll say something about that. Or maybe kind of hint at it until she confesses? Or maybe she'll just tell him... Mmm maybe not, since she knows how he feels about Marcus. I'm also curious about what his next task will be.

I think I addressed your concerns, so I'm going to go ahead and move on to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Sorry this response is late. I have been so busy with school I think I may have taken a few years off my life. Anyways Rose is about second chances for people who want them, and Marcus does genuinely seem to want one. In this current chapter, Rose and Scorpius are in that area of being friends still. There is no romantic tension behind them yet. I think the only thing that is really changing is that Scorpius is seeing Rose as a girl who is datable. If that makes sense. Just like she is seeing him as someone who likes other girls. It is no longer just their little bubble, but it is now involve other people.
Scorpius does speak before he thinks and to be honest his snarky reaction is probably the way I would behave too if I was in his shoes. I know the scene between them where Rose tells Scorpius about Marcus isn't shown, but I will say that Rose never planned to keep it a secret. She probably told him on her own, and Scorpius probably didn't seek out the truth to from her because he was upset about it.
Thanks for the reviewing.

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Review #14, by keytyCurious Happenings at Number Twelve: An Epilogue of Sorts

19th April 2014:

I seriously spent days obsessing over this. I was so afraid Sirius was going to die and that they would never get together. You don't understand the stress this put me under. I literally sat at work reading as fast as I could to make sure he wouldn't die, and that they ended up together. So thank you for not ruining my life. I was really scared there when I realized how close this was to being over.

So I have read about ten million Sirius/OC's, and I always focused on Marauders era because I didn't want dead Jily and I didn't want him to die in the end. But I kind of exhausted all the ones that seemed interesting, so I checked out a thread and someone recommended yours. And I was instantly hooked, as you can see from my previous reviews. This is such a different take on him, from what I've seen. I'm too tired to really leave a productive review, so I'm just going to gush. Because I love Nora, and I love her with Sirius. And I love how intense their feelings are. It makes me want to find my own Sirius. Because he's perfect. Especially the way you write him. Even though he's not actually perfect. He has flaws but just... Ugh I'm too exhausted he is just perfect okay? I think we can agree on that. Well I'm going to stop rambling nonsense but basically I love your story and you're a brilliant writer and I wish there was more of this to read but there isn't so I guess this is goodbye. *gross sobbing*

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Review #15, by keytyKeep Breathing: To Where You Are

19th April 2014:
Okay but like why do you keep doing this to me. I am not supposed to cry at work okay. That's not okay. You need to stahp. (But not really because it's all so good).

The emotions are so real here. I think some people would go over the top and get super descriptive, and use big words, and try to be all fancy in their writing. That wouldn't work here. Here what works is simplicity. Because when this happens, you're not thinking straight. You might not even know how to express all you're feeling. But all you know is that you are feeling, you're feeling pain. And it's a very raw pain, a very straightforward pain. It's very direct. This happened, and I feel super crappy about it. And you capture that perfectly here. I feel exactly how she feels, and I want to lay and look at the stars, and find Ginny. And I want to tell her I miss her, and that I wish she was here.

I know it's cold here but the goosebumps are definitely from your story.

Keep doing what you're doing. But maybe not too often. Because a flood of your readers' tears might be imminent.

Author's Response: Okay, but like, because I like making you cry. ;) Just kidding, I don't like making you cry (maliciously). (well thats good because i don't plan on stopping).

I don't think I could've gotten super descriptive. It was really tough to write it as it was. I'm glad you liked this story, and woah that it gave you goosebumps and just wow. How do I even reply to this review.

♥ ♥ ♥ I'm okay with a flood of my readers' tears if it means I get reviews like this ♥ ♥ ♥

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #16, by keytyFive’s a Convention: A Surprise for Draco

19th April 2014:
Hello! Back again!

I can see why you may have struggled with this chapter. Usually you have a shorter format, and you tried to cram in a lot of information here. I would suggest just writing more here, showing us time passing instead of just jumping from point to point. It seems a little rushed right now. What you could do is instead of saying "they went here," show us how they went there. How did they feel when going there? Was there any anticipation? Any expectation of what was going to happen? Where they worried? Scared? Instead of saying "he was angry," have him show us his emotions through actions. Is his face turning red? Is he clenching his fists? Is he gritting his teeth? Are his eyes bulging? Remember: show, don't tell. I think you could benefit from that topic I mentioned in my last review.

Right now all you really need to do is just give us more, more information to fill in between the major points. I found this chapter hilarious, to be frank. I would like to see it split into two chapters perhaps. If you make it longer, you could end the first half with Draco 'falling' for Harry, and continue on from there. I loved reading the bit with Draco, that's something I think you could add more of. Again, show us how he's feeling, how he's dazed, how Harry all of a sudden is the most perfect person in the world. Show us how the twins feel through all of this. There's a lot more where you could pull from and I think that you can definitely make this chapter even funnier by adding all of these things.

I liking this story, it seems to be pretty lighthearted and funny so far. Feel free to PM me if you make changes, and don't hesitate to rerequest when you update! :) Hope these were helpful!

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Review #17, by keytyFive’s a Convention: Cho’s Choice

19th April 2014:
Hello again!

This was also a very interesting chapter. There was a lot going on, but you did a pretty good job of transitioning between characters. I like the idea of the RoR having a pensieve, that would be really useful for students that felt overwhelmed.

I found a fair bit of errors so I would consider proofreading this one more time. They weren't major but there were enough for me to say something :)

Something I thought was a bit off was when the trio was transitioning from place to place to place. I feel like if they were putting off that conversation it might have been a bit awkward between the three of them. You could definitely add this feeling in through their body language. I actually posted a topic in the Help Needed section that has a chart with body language and such that you can take a look at if you're not sure where to start. (You can PM me for the link if you'd like).

This is very minor, but I would consider leaving a blank line in between different character's dialogue. Right now everything's a bit clumped together which at some points makes it a tad confusing.

As for the plot I'm very intrigued! You've got several things going on at once: Harry and Hermione dating, trying to include Ron. Ron realizing he likes Hermione (I knew it!), Cho's mischievous plan. I wonder how Luna fits in to all of this. And I'm also very curious to see how Draco will react. He certainly won't be happy to lose his girlfriend to Ron, so it'll be fun to read what he does to get back at him.

Overall I think you've got some interesting story lines which definitely make me want to read more. With just a quick edit I think you can make this chapter a lot stronger. Feel free to PM me if you make any changes :)

Moving on to Chapter 3!

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Review #18, by keytyFive’s a Convention: Where’s Ron?

19th April 2014:
Hello there, here with your requested review!

Hmmm. This is interesting. I'm not sure if I'm missing anything since this is a sequel, but you seem to have explained enough information to keep a new reader up to date. I understand why Ron is feeling this way because you've told me what happened before the story takes place. Even so, it seems kind of odd (this might just be because I'm not used to these pairings though!). But right now Ron seems spot on. He's always felt left out, shunned from the spotlight. And if Harry and Hermione were to date, I'm sure that would only amplify these sentiments. Does he like Hermione? Maybe that's something that will be revealed later on...

Even though it's short, I got a lot of information out of this chapter. Ron was in the Hospital Wing for two weeks, and is now feeling alienated from his friends. He was ill and his new appearance seems like it might bother him. Harry and Hermione are now dating which only adds to this. And even though he realizes they still love him, this all makes perfect sense. And then you've got the little twist at the end with Cho and, I'm assuming, Malfoy.

I'm interested to read more! On to the next one! :)

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Review #19, by keytyFool's Errand: She really should have known better

19th April 2014:
Woah. I was not expecting that at all. It might be because I didn't read the other story, but dang that took a very unexpected turn. I think it's interesting to start it off with her running, because that's exactly what she should have been doing at the end of the story. But it makes it seem like it'll be a relatively ordinary plot with nothing too strange or unexpected. Boy was that a wrong assessment. This definitely piques my interest, and I'm making a mental note to read the rest. Overall this was a very interesting choice and I quite like how it came out :)

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing this! So glad to hear that the effect I was aiming for worked. I was a bit worried about how that was going to turn out because that last bit was written in a rush.

You know, I never thought about that beginning-end thing! That is a very interesting observation and one of the reasons I love reading reviews so much; the readers pick up things the author doesn't even think about.

Thanks again for reviewing and you should definitely read the rest;)

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Review #20, by keytyFeel Again: Feel Again

19th April 2014:
This is not awful at all! It's so good! Especially since it wasn't even proofread -I didn't catch any mistakes at all. But I love this concept. And I love that you went with house unity! I couldn't think of anything so I just went with the third prompt :P But this is so great. It's so real. I love that it's in first person, I don't think third would have worked at all. Because he feels so alienated and confused, and the amount of information we get, as well as he, is so limited. But it works because it makes everything so frightening, is he going to be okay? Will he ever feel his legs again?

I also think it's interesting that everyone was against his team, that everyone wanted him to lose. Why is that? I like that they were rooting for Slytherin because that means that they redeemed themselves in terms of being a house full of (primarily) jerks. So that's good too.
I wasn't sure how you were going to relate it to house unity but I just loved it when they started clapping. I have to say I teared up a bit. It's so scary to be wheeled away in front of your whole school (I speak from experience here... *shivers*) and the fact that they put their differences aside is so heart warming. I wasn't sure how much time had passed but when you said the Slytherins were still in uniform I knew very little time must have passed. The footsteps must have been them returning from the pitch. But I just love that everyone got together to reassure and support him. It's just so sweet! You did a great job. If this is how you write in the middle of the night, I'm kind of afraid to read what you write midday. Because it must be absolutely brilliant. :)

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Review #21, by keytySpectacular Now: Spectacular Now

18th April 2014:
AW GEORGIA this is so cute and sweet and aw I love it. When I saw it was a Fred and George fic I braced myself for tears, but it actually wasn't sad! That itself was a great surprise. I love that it was simple, nothing too out of the ordinary happened. They were just waking up for another day, taking care of the kids, then going to run their errands. And then they met Fred. I'm smiling so much this is just so adorable.
And then when it switched to Fred at first I was confused. Molly? Is that why she was crying? And then when I got it I just grinned. You wrote him so well. It was spot on. He definitely would continue to be a jokester after his death. There's no way he would change, become sad and such. I just love this. It's so perfect, and you just wrote them so well. This is amazing. C:

Author's Response: Thanks so much!! You're so sweet!!

I've been getting mixed reviews about the sadness level of this... I didn't mean for it to be very sad (other than the reminder that Fred's dead), so we seem to be on the same page about that!

Thanks so much!!

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Review #22, by keytyA Basket Full of Love: Easter Egg Hunts

18th April 2014:
What are you talking about Sarah this is not terrible at all. It's just a cute little Easter story! I love it. A lot of the submissions are mysterious and angsty, but I like how yours is nice and sweet. You did a great job of avoiding any kind of reveal that would spoil your other stories, so props for that! I would have definitely struggled to maintain the secrecy. I like how even though it's short you get a glimpse of everyone and how they celebrate Easter in their own way. I never did egg hunts (shocking, I know!) so I loved reading this because it's just so sweet!
You're so silly. This wasn't terrible at all.

Author's Response: Oh. Well, that's good!!

Thanks. I'm glad you love it :) I wanted it to be nice and sweet, I didn't realize everything else was so angsty... I thought Easter and went into full on cute mode. Apparently I'm the only one :P Haha, thanks for this lovely review (and dude, it was so hard not to reveal anything from the other stories). Thanks! ♥

xoxo Sarah ♥

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Review #23, by keytyThe Willow Tree: Pearls and Silver Filigree

18th April 2014:
Aw it was just a dream. Is it mean of me to say you copped out? :P Vampire Hugo would've been so interesting! But I love the eeriness of it all. It's so intriguing throughout the story. I kind of wish it was longer, but I know there was a limit on the words. Anyway, I think this was really interesting. It's a unique approach, to make the person a vampire. I would be interested in reading more about her. I loved reading it! Good job :)

Author's Response: Hahahahahahahahaha, your review made me laugh a lot. Thanks for that! :)

Yes, it was just a dream. It's totally not mean of you to say that I copped out, because I did. When you have a word limit, it's a bit difficult to make a saga about Vampire Hugo. (However, when I started getting into the meat of the story, I got so many plunnies. Maybe I can turn this into a novel one day?)

Yes, I wish it was longer, too! I want to add chapters about Hugo's nerdiness and things like that. For instance, why did the disappearing girl choose him?! Even I don't know the answer to that one! I would like to know more, too. ;)

Thank you so very much!


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Review #24, by keytyI Know: I Know

18th April 2014:
Woah! This was so creepy. I love the mystery here, because there was no way I could have guessed that. It's so sad. I feel like Parvati going insane makes some sense, even though it's somewhat far fetched. But I mean, at seventeen she took part in a huge battle. She watched her best friend die, and many others she was close to. I guess I would be surprised if this drove more than one of the students mad. Especially the younger ones. What can you expect? To see death at such a young age... Well, I guess seeing thestrals wouldn't be considered weird the next year.
But back to your story! In my opinion this could definitely happen. It's not something I ever really thought about -because I mainly write Marauders era -but now that you've brought it up in this story, I think it's a very realistic idea. It's sad that Ginny did it, and even sadder that it drove Parvati insane.
You did an awesome job on your story! I loved reading it. :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much!

Yeah, I guess it is a bit far fetched- i definitely see that! But yeah, I was hoping readers would see that :) I know even just reading it, I was like a depressed zombie for days! I cant imagine! Wow… yeah! Thestrals! I never thought about that! That would be such an interesting idea to explore!

Yeah, it sort of was a build up if you get that? Like kept repeating in Parvati's head; like she would keep lingering on that thought and it was at the back of her mind for everything and then it just became everything to her. And Ginny, yeah, Ginny just made a very large mistake.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! :D Thank you for such a great review! it made me grin for days!

-Curie :)

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Review #25, by keytyEaster Lily: Easter Lily

18th April 2014:

This was so super duper sweet. I love domestic Jily. I wish they had lived on forever. This would have been an adorable tradition for them to have. *uncontrollable sobbing*
Anywho, I think this was really cute. I love the Tiger Lily, Stargazer Lily, Easter Lily theme. New headcanon. And I just love that all the boys got together to try and cheer Lily up. Her boys. *more uncontrollable sobbing* Can you just write a collection of short stories with domestic Jily? Because I would read the heck out of that.

Anyway this was amazing. You did a great job. :)

Author's Response: Hi Keyty,

Thanks so much for the kind review! I never considered writing a series of Jily one-shots, but maybe...

I actually researched the different types of Lilies to write this piece. I figured that James would be a little bit of a sap when it came to Lily. A sap who was clueless for the most part!

Thanks again!


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