Oh Gosh this was actually really powerful! It gave me shivers each time you said "Dead" after introducing someone. Gosh... but this made me laugh - She was honestly the most bi-polar, goody two-shoes, mental ginger I have ever met in my life." Ahahaha that does pretty much sum her up XD Woah, 80 chapters! That's alot! Totally can't wait! :D xxAuthor's Response: YAYZERS!! I have people who aprove *gasp*. But yeah, I've always thought of Lily as having her heart in the right place, but also being a little annoying. Oh and you got shivers? AWSOME! I love giving people emotions through my writing. Keep an eye out for more!!
Taylor Report Review
Aww I like Arisa! She's different, I like that she's not bubbly or stupid or completely Mary Sue :)
AH I love Aaron :) But Louis will always be the bomb. He tastes like soap... that's kinda gross but at least he washes XD
Amazing chapter, can't wait for the next one! :D XxAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review
Arisa's basically constantly pms-ing. Thank god she's not a mary sure, but she's not friendly enough to be a mary sue, I think. :)
Louis has okay personal hygiene, just suckish with his room and stuff. Meh. I still think Charlie's better. ;)
:D xx Report Review
HEY :) So your story was the second review I've ever given, and I was just looking through my old reviews to see if you updated... And you had! :D I really like this chapter and James is so sweet and Tyler is not Mary Sue at all! Her dress sense seems a little crazy which I like :) I also like that you made Sirius and Tyler five years apart as that's something you don't really see before. Is it really plausible that they're friends though? And why are they friends? Surely not through lessons as they're in different years... yeah, those are the things I'd like cleared up :) And what's your forum name? I'd love to see pictures of the characters! :D xxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you liked the chapter, I worked my butt off on it! Lol, jk. Yeah I always thought that around his friends James would be uber sweet, unlike alot of other stories. And you have no idea how glad I am Tyler isn't a Mary Sue, I HATE Mary Sue's and am trying as hard as I can for her not to be one. Her dress sense is actually based off of my own, haha so I'm glad you like it. Ok, so I screwed up in the chapter when Tyler and Sirius were messing around. She isn't five years younger. It was just supposed to be them both calling eachother stupid. They were going to be in the same year but now I might make her a year or two younger. Sorry about that, I've confused a lot of peopel around that. My forum name is MelTonks, and I will put the pictures up just for you :). You're the first person to ask! Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
Why hello there ;)
So I read this before but for some reason I didn't leave a review...? Hmm... SO I think this is so good as it's canon and sweet - in a crazy death eater kinda way XD Secondly I think you did a really good job with this because who wants to see Umbridge and Yaxley kissing passionately? The best thing you did was to make it really subtle and really sweet and not unlikely and OOC because that would have just been annnoying and put Yaxbridge on to the list of failed-weird-ships. BUT NO! Yaxbridge reigns on, and *Puts hand on heart* I wish to write a Yaxbridge one day that you shall be proud of :D Haven't seen you around the forums lately, hope to talk soon! :D ~NeverGotHerLetter x x x x x x x x xAuthor's Response: AW!!! Thank You :D This review has made my day as I believe I have just said on the forums. Anyway enough of that.
This was my intention :) I wanted to try and portray Yaxbridge in a sweet way for them.. but not all kissy kissy I love you my pink queen! as yeah... can you imagine them doing that? No. I've just started a Yaxbridge short story that I'm not too sure on for a challenge. I think this as my first shall always be my favourite. Annyywaaay.
Thank YOU!!! x Report Review
AHhahahahahahahaha this is one of the best worst stories I've seen :D I genuinely hope you get placed for TP's challenge :D XXAuthor's Response: Thank you! I hope so too :P Report Review
AAhhh that was such a sweet ending :) And I'm glad Sarah turned out so nice and she and James are still going to be friends :) And YAY for Sydney and James! I think that at the end of the last chapter I realised that they would be together ^_^ It was so nice :D I am very happy with this! You don't have me ranting and raving abou bad endings around my room like some stories do hahaha ;) Thanks for this amazing read, I can't believe it's over! :( *clicks on shadow dancer* See ya! ;) XAuthor's Response: I definitely went for the super cheesy happy ending. I didn't want things to end badly between James and Sarah. They just weren't meant to be together. Because, of course, James and Sydney are just so lovely. :P I'm so glad you liked the ending! Thanks for all of the reviews you've given me. And I hope you enjoy shadow dancer. :) Report Review
... Utter crap? This? This story? This is utter crap? NO WAY. THIS STORY IS SO SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT THAT I WOULD RUN AWAY TO LAS VEGAS WITH IT IF IT WASN'T STUCK ON THE INTERNET. But seriously, this story is so cool, and all of the characters and your characterisation is so amazing! Like, Malfoy and Rose and Dom and James and Eliza and EVERYONE you've totally got them really detailed personalities and gosh, it's DA BOMB. YEAH. Well done :D I shall be favouriting this and looking forward to the next chapter ;) xAuthor's Response: heh heh.. when i was first putting up this story (read: TRYING to put up this story) it got rejected like 3 times. no joke. i rewrote it each time just for the heck of it and it gave me a chance to really think about the characters and stuff. i'm glad that pulled off well :) THANKS A BILLION SWEETIE. Report Review
DRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMA NOoOoOoOo :( I feel really bad for Sydney, and in this chapter, Sarah was really annoying! I might jump ship... AH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO *Runs frantically backwards and forwards from Sydney to Sarah* Gosh, things happened in this chapter and they're making me all dazed and confused as to what I want! One. More. Chapter. :( This makes me sad. But this is an amazing story and I'd much rather an amazing story of this length than a rubbish one of 394281899938041827418 chapters ^__^ Thank you so much for this story! *Goes off to stalk your other works* :D ~NGHL XAuthor's Response: Yess, lots of drama in this one. :( Not fun, but necessary. It's very hard to choose which shipping team to be on! It was very difficult for me for awhile, too. :P Baww, thank YOU for the reviews on this story! They are much appreciated. :D Report Review
hvj clxhzhb TWO CHAPTERS??!! Gosh, you've made my day!! :D And this chapter was so lovely :) I'm SO glad Sarah and James are still together. And I loved the line when he found out about her blood status and James was like "You do know who my Father is, right?" Made me laugh so much! :D Their embarrassing stories were really funny (I'm guessing in this one that Albus is the amazingly good looking one? :P ) and I loved Mark and Hunter's banter about the missing lucky socks ^__^ Also I'm glad Sydney's found someone. I really hoped she might get together with Hunter or Mark or whichever's left, but a Ravenclaw will do :) I think the boys are just biased against the other houses :D Also, I love the way they treat Sydney like their daughters, I think it was really sweet :3 Can't wait for the next chapter... OH WAIT I can read it now!! ;) I can't believe this story's nearly over :( It makes me want to cry D': ~NeverGotHerLetter x x x x x x xAuthor's Response: Making up their embrrassing stories was a lot of fun. It was just so silly. :P I suppose Albus is the more studly, good looking one in this story. They're kind of switched from the norm, really. Usually Albus is more nerdy than James, heh. Aww, don't cry! :) Thank you for the review! Report Review
Woah HEY :D I'm NeverGotHerLetter off formspring and decided to stalk you XD BUT THIS IS AWESOME :D This was a great introduction to the story and it sounds awesome! :D I love Patch, when I found out why that was her nickname I was like Awww but then started laughing :D New chapter soon pleease! :D I especially can't wait for their chamber of secrets escapade :D XXXAuthor's Response: I was actually in the middle of stalking you. I am reading the first, from spring to summer.
I'm glad you liked the beginning.Thank you, I love nicknaming characters. Louis is actually the only person who calls her Patch, nobody else tries because she'd throw a diva hissy fit.
I just finished the chamber of secrets chapter. I just have to proofread everything I write a billion times, or it will be loaded with 1000's of mistakes. I just landed myself a beta, so the update shall be soon.
Thanks for the review :) Report Review
This was beautiful :) I think it really captured adult James perfectly. James is my favourite character ever ever ever and for me to think you did him justice (which I do) is a big thing... if my opinion mattered that much XD But seriously be proud of this. With a little editing it could be one of those one shots that make people cry :') Well done :D XXXAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you so much :') Yeah, I was hoping to go back and edit it soon xxx Report Review
This is AWESOME :D Love the idea, love the characters and love that finally someone's put Albus in Gryffindor. I hate him being in Slytherin! Does this mean Scorp's a Gryffie too?! I love Gryffindor Scorpius :D Pahahahaha speaking of Scorpius, that little rumour? Pure Gold ;) AH so totally update this soon pretty pleeease :D XAuthor's Response: Thanks ^__^ I just put my characters where they seem to fit :) And Scorp's a Gryffie too. OH my, the rumor. It's indulging my secret love of Al/Scor~ Report Review
Aww that was sweet! I really liked it! Great characterisation of Luna and Draco, and Blaise and I really loved that it was from Blaise's perspective, s that's something I've never seen before :D XXAuthor's Response: Thanks! That's great to hear! I'm glad you liked the characterisations :) I was planning on making the story a bit longer, to make Blaise... say more, I suppose, but obviously, that didn't happen.
Thank you for your review! Report Review
I love James.SO MUCH AH HE'S JUST SO BLOODY CUTE :D
W-Wait. ONLY THREE MORE CHAPTERS?!!! No D: This is like my favourite story though :(
Anyway the last line... love. So sweet. So James. So n dabvlJDNVKL AH :D
I'm actually James/Sarah now. Sydney's a little too quiet and dull really... although I honestly wouldn't mind them getting together, I'd just rather him with Sarah ^__^ WELL DONE RAWR :D
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x x x xAuthor's Response: Baww, thank you so much. I'm glad you like this story so much. It's been such an adventure to write it. James/Sarah huh? I think a lot of people are jumping off the Sydney ship! I feel bad for the poor girl, hahah. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
BORING?!! NO WAY :D
So sorry I haven't been around for a while :( I've had a load of RL stuff going on *grumbles* and the forums are really time consuming! Plus I've had writing... but excuses excuses! Never mind!
This story is amazing! (although I'm sure I've told you that multiple times) I think this chapter was soo sweet and really natural. Also what went on and how Cedric and Rachel acted was completely matching of their previous characterisation. So I truly loved it, seriously :)
Well done! :D xAuthor's Response: HAA!! Well, I'm glad it wasn't boring... Otherwise I would have been building up through 11 chapters for nothing! :P
Thanks so much for stopping off with a review! Don't worry about the wait, I don't mind. :) I appreciate each review you give me so much - thank you!!! Report Review
Aaw poor James :(
But AHA you can tell Sydney likes James! I knew it! :D
But Sarah does too... I don't know who I want with him! :O
Hope you don't get flu again and looking forward to the next chapter! :D XAuthor's Response: Ah, another confused reader, heheh. I think I've got a lot of people on the fence about who they want to ship! :P Thank you for the review!! Report Review
Ahhh that was awesome!! They're dating! YAAAY!!! And Hunter has a girlfriend!! YAY!! And Sarah is nice!! YAYY!!!
I've concluded that this story is full of things that make me go YAY!! and so I will not bore you with these YAYY!!s any longer. (But this story is win. PURE WIN I TELL YOU!!) I love it :D XAuthor's Response: Bawww, I'm glad this story has things that make you go yay! That makes me go yay! Thank you so much for the lovely review! I really appreciate it! Report Review
This was very good and your characterisation was immense! I loved the different personalities you showed and it was a great situation. Squee, I LOVE Sco/Rose :) ~NGHL XXAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it! :) Report Review
This was very very good :) I loved the way you used the room and I thought it was very detailed. Also I think it was really smart that you thought about the room's capability after the accident with fiendfyre. And also the skeleton in the corner was a great detail! Poor Crabbe... kind of :P
The winners of the challenge will be announced in a blog in the next week so look out for it to check the results! :D xAuthor's Response: Thank you for your kind comments! I'll be keeping my eyes open for the blog. :) Report Review
This was really amazing and detailed and gah!! I loved it! Seriously, so detailed and you used the room sooo well! The winners will be up in my blog in the next week so look out for it!! Love, NeverGotHerLetter x x x x xAuthor's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I'll be sure to keep an eye out :) xx Report Review
Wow that was absolutely amazing! It was chilling and scary and also gave a really realistic account of what happened. It wasn't too over the top and it didn't give us the pretence of Illyana being cool and collected about it, because honestly that wouldn't happen :)
I really liked the secret room being added in but the 'four white pillars' just reminded me to much of Malfoy Manor. I think you should change the description because the Malfoys were the RICH death eaters... was McNair really that rich? Or is this AU McNair. Anyhow it still reminded me of the Malfoys' place.
One more little bit of CC, the ending was too abrubt for my liking. It would have worked if you had put something more descriptive and gives us a clear view of what Illyana is feeling, like the sentences before and indeed the whole story so far. I think that just "Illyana cried." isn't a sufficient ending for a story which has shown a much higher calibre of writing before.
But still a fantastic story in which I hope there'll be another chapter soon :D Another 9/10 :)
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x xAuthor's Response: Hi again! Sorry my responses have been delayed!
Haha, oh no, I don't think many people could remain cool and calm in a situation like this at all. Yay for chilling, realistic, and scary! I'm so happy you felt those things while reading this.
As far as the Manor concerns, it isn't as big as Lucius' Manor that's for sure. However, remember, Illyana is a Malfoy too ;) As the next chapters come out, more will be revealed in terms of Walden MacNair's connections.
Hmm, while I already know I'm not going to drastically change the ending, I appreciate your feedback on this section. I'm glad that you got the sense of a degradation in description and language, because that was my intention. As Illyana breaks down, so does the language, in my opinion. But maybe that parallel wasn't executed as well as I thought it was...and I will read that part over too. Either way, I'm glad that you find that I have a high calibre (awesome word!) of writing haha.
Thanks again, I'm glad you enjoyed most aspects of the story this far! =)
Ellie Report Review
Another amazing chapter! I'm finding it hard to give you constructive criticism so I'm going to be really picky, ok? :)
So why was Daphne so emotional? Was it just the effect of seeing Dumbledore's body? Or is she a 'nice' Slytherin who liked Dumbledore and is genuinely sad about his death. Also, her emotions change quickly; first she's crying hysterically then she's angry and defiant and then sad again. I think you should check that up :)
Otherwise a great chapter! A really good perspective of an OC witnessing Dumbledore's death and a really good base for characters to know who she is, i.e. her being Draco's cousin and being close to him as you said he wasn't talking to her much lately which insinuates they were close before his task. 9/10 for this one, and still an amazing story! :D
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x xAuthor's Response: Hi hi! Thanks for reviewing hun!
Haha, I love nit-picky, no worries ;) Daphne is emotional because, well, she just is emotional :P She hasn't quite mastered control over her emotions, but the shock and horror of death and fear for her future played a big role in making her even more emo. However, I definitely see what you mean -she did get rather angry out of seemingly nowhere and I will see if there is some way to spruce that transition up a bit, thanks!
Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed Illyana's first perspective and got a sense of how she fit in to everything canon (if I'm not reading your review incorrectly). I'm glad you find the story to be amazing haha, thanks so much for reviewing this for me!
NRB Report Review
Hi :) This review is like a month late I know, but I've been SO busy so sorry! I'm skipping a history essay for this haha :D
So this is an AMAZING start!! It's really intriguing and Julienne is very believable. Also it gives an insight in to what it was like at for some wizarding families at the time of the first war. I really like it! Spelling and grammar is fine, as is the general plot line and it's definitely unique, I've never seen anything like it before... really looking forward to reading on! 10/10 :)
Sorry again for the late review and I'll try to be more helpful to you for improving it in the next chapter :)
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x x xAuthor's Response: Hey NeverGotHerLetter! Haha, don't worry about being late, to be completely honest I didn't realize how long ago I posted in your thread (I had to double-check) lol and ooof! don't miss a history essay over reviews, especially on my account, I'm sorry hun :/
Thank you! I didn't tihnk it was that fantastic, but thanks so much for your kind words and for saying it's unique. I'm going through a rut right now and I think your review has made me feel better about the story as it is thus far. Thanks so much! I'm glad you felt like this opening gave you some insight and that Julienne was believable, that's very important!
Quit apologizing haha ;) Thanks again!
Ellie Report Review
AHahahaha this is really good, really well written and great characters :D One thing... in like one bit, this bit: "Scorpius and all her aunts" You put Scorpius as a her! I had to read back and make sure you hadn't actually made him a girl. I mean there are some next gens in which they make Lorcan a girl, but Scorpius?! *shudder* So glad you didn't :) So yeah, fix that up cause it interrupts the flow, but otherwise, loving this!!! The money thing didn't bother me... maybe everyone's rich or just plain generous?!! Anyway, brilliant story, lovely and random and bright and bubbly; just what I like to see :D Well done, 10/10 xxxAuthor's Response: Uh oh - ill get on that Scorpius thing, thnks for the heads up:) As for making Scorpius a girl, or even Lorcan a girl, they're both plainly boys names - sorry to anyone who's done this i mean no offence - and with the money thing, they are quite rich, but money value decreases and increases. thirty years ago money was worth a lot more than it is now, and things were a lot cheaper. Glad someone had picked up on the "they are rich" thing though. Keep reviewing and keep reading - it feeds me, seriously.
xXxMissMademoiselle Report Review
I am in love with the Batty Old Lady *Don't worry, I'll feed you!!*
Oh and this story was just so bad but SO good from start to end. Yay for you :D XAuthor's Response: Batty Old Lady is epic. I think I would like to write a harrowing novel on the ups and downs of Batty Old Lady's life.
Day One: I ate some prunes today.
Day Two: My soaps aren't on T.V. I'm going to call up the cable company and give them a piece of my mind.
Day Three: The mailman is late. Booo.
Day One: Because I have forgotten that it is supposed to be Day Four. Report Review
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