Beeezie: Hello! Laurie, from forums, here with your requested review.
I loved this! I have quite a soft spot for Next Gen, and Teddy/Victoire is usually so adorable to read. Having just been reading a darker fic, this was refreshing with its light and fluffy nature!
I think your strong point in this piece is definitely the characterisation of all characters featured. Although we don't learn much of Teddy or Victoire - you seemed to have them wrote perfectly - in terms of reflecting their age. You could definitely tell Teddy was the slightly older one in the relationship, for example. I also liked the comments on the minor characters (Micah being one) as their age could also be reflected through the small details you added in.
Enid was also brilliant, even if she didn't feature all that much. I can definitely imagine the sort of woman she was - and it was great to have some insight to what Teddy was going to be like through Enid.
I liked the way you had Victoire worrying about going to see Teddy - it makes it a little more realistic, since she's still only a teen and very nervous about seeing Teddy.
Now, Teddy! He's one of my favourite Next-Gen characters but this also makes it a little tricky to please me. I usually am a little stereotypical when it comes to him because I can really imagine how I'd think him to be. Truthfully, I thought you wrote him brilliantly!
The relationship between Victoire and Teddy was written beautifully. Nothing was rushed and the references to the photographs and other hints at past memories (like the Christmas present) were great touches adding to the build-up of their relationship. I think this is important in One-Shots since you don't have a whole novel to show the progression of the relationship, it just sort of needs to be assumed and these touches reflected this perfectly.
So you asked particularly about flow and description. I think you did really well on both parts. The flow of the story was great - it wasn't too rushed and I liked the balance between Victoire's inner thoughts and actual dialogue between the characters. I think description is the strongest point in the piece as your characters were realistic and I found it easy to imagine the scene unfolding as I read, due to your brilliant description!
Overall, I loved this story! It was a great one-shot and I noticed that you've wrote other Teddy/Victoire one-shots in the A/N so I might have to have a look at those!
- Laurie.Author's Response: I also really enjoy next-gen - Teddy/Victoire is probably my favourite ship to write, and (as you could probably see from my author's note) I write it quite a lot. I find shorter fics with them to be a lot of fun, because they allow me to skip around in their relationship - for example, I've got a story about their first date (Fish Out of Water) and a story about them getting engaged (Cloud Nine). Some of my readers are occasionally after me to write a novella or novel, but I just find these to be a lot more fun.
Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate it. I was a bit unsure about this one (just because I tend to second guess myself in general - it's rare for me to immediately be pleased with a fic I write), so this was really lovely to get - especially when I saw that you'd liked it so much that you'd favourited it! ♥ Report Review
CambAngst: Hello! Laurie here with your requested review.
So, I was immediately intrigued by your introductory sentence. It was a great way to start the story and your description in the first couple of paragraphs is great. I'm also not sure if you created the mystery around King's Cross on purpose, but I think perhaps more clues should have been added in into why he was there and how he got there etc.
It's a little short and has a lack of dialogue but, I realise this could be due to the fact it is a prologue and not an 'actual' chapter in the story.
Your grammar is great, I didn't spot any major spelling mistakes or errors so this is good!
Improvements? I think perhaps more dialogue would have worked well - perhaps a conversation starting between Harry and Ginny? We didn't get to learn much about the two of them, or much about the plot-line that is going to unfold in the story. I think more detail to this would create a great effect.
I do have a favourite line out of the piece that I have to mention! 'Great,' he mumbled to himself, 'you’re dead again.' - I thought this was brilliant and the characterisation of Harry here was fabulous.
Overall, I think this is a great start to the story. The mystery you created was fabulous and I loved the general characterisation of Harry (He's quite difficult to write, I find)
I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for requesting.
- Laurie.Author's Response: Hi, there. Glad you decided to take me up on my story.
The prologue is very mysterious on purpose. It is actually the beginning of a scene that takes place much, much later in the story. In Deathly Hallows, Kings Cross Station was a metaphor for a certain kind of choice that Harry faced. It appears that Harry is now facing the same choice again, only much later in life.
A conversation between Harry and Ginny will definitely happen in Kings Cross, just not yet. To have gone any farther than they did would have given away too much.
I'm very glad that you enjoyed the first chapter and I hope that I can keep you coming back for more. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
This was wonderful. I can't even put it into words how much I've loved reading this story - and that goes for Delicate too.
It's been years! Wow.
This was one of the first stories I read when I first joined HPFF, and I've stuck with it until the end. Aah!
It just dawned on me that it's going to be strange not checking for Delicate/Still Delicate updates when this is over :'( Report Review
Sooo, I finally caught up with this story - can't remember the last time I read this! But it's soo good to read it again, I've missed Pippa!
I'm loving where this is going! I'm hooked again ;)
xoAuthor's Response: Heya :) It's lovely to see you again :) Hope you are well. Haha, I'm so glad you like it! That makes me happy. I'm already working on chapter 17. It's going well. Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a wonderful day. xx Report Review
Rose/Scorpius is a ship to die-for, so I'm actually really suprised that I'm saying this ; I'm coming around to Rose/Tom :O
It's not for good reasons though, sorry. I purely want to see Scorpius get jealous of Rose/Tom and for the REAL SHIP to bounce back. ;) Report Review
Hellooo dear, ;)
I've only just caught up with this story from a while ago when I reviewed your first chapter *shamefull*!
I'm hooked again ;) so I want to see this updated, yes? :P hehe.
I've come to a point where I'm adoring Pippa, and I'm so curious to what's made her the way she is - who is this he!? xD
Oh, and one last request.. more Albus, please? :')Author's Response: Hi lovely! I hope you're having a great day! It's fine :) I can understand that life gets in the way! School is busy at the end of the year.
Yay! That makes me super happy :D I'm working on the next chapter, it's about 2300 words at the moment. Should be up in a week.
Really? Some people hate her, but it's wonderful to see that you like her :) Who is he? Well, who knows ;) Haha. The mystery will eventually be revealed but not yet. Pippa, as the narrator can't bring herself to say his name because he hurt her too much. But eventually she'll be stronger :D
And more Albus you say? Well, your wish is my command ;) He's featured heavily in the next couple of chapters :D I know we've had a few chapters without him so I thought I'd make up for it ;) Haha.
Thanks so much for the review, it's made my day.
xxx Report Review
I've read a lot of stories focused around the Weasley twins, and Fred's death - basically because I adore the two of them, and I miss Fred so much! Haha. I feel like I knew him, or something xD
but anyway ~ i just want to credit you on your originality. I don't know if other authors have wrote this way (if they have, woo!) but I've never seen a story written like this - from FREDS p.o.v. It was very interesting to read and also very realistic. You combined little parts of humour ("holey") but reverted them to something so sad - which was a great touch, despite me feeling a little sad xD but that was your aim, so kudos ;)
It was beautifully written, and I loved seeing something like this. Author's Response: I came across the idea of doing it from Fred's view because I'd read a few in the living's point of view. And it did seem so sad to me, and I'm so thankful you think it came through. In such a short story, I really tried to make it emotional.
I'm so glad you reviewed, and I'm really flattered. Report Review
You asked for my opinion, so here it is: Don't give up with this. It's certainly intriguing. I can't wait to find out the questions that are running through my mind; Snape has a daughter - What? Somethings got to happen between Draco and Her? Who is she?
~ Great chapter!
x Report Review
SexyDoorFrames; Hello! Laurie here with your requested review. First of all, Sorry for the wait! I was really behind on schoolwork, Now its halfterm and my review list is like WOAH. hehe.
It normally takes me a while to get used to OC's, not many can seem to get me hooked to a story strait away because I suppose I'm just loving Canon. But I must say, I'm already loving Pippa. "He'd chucked some dirt on me, so I broke his nose. Fair, yes?" was an amazing quote, I can imagine be-friending this girl IRL. Too bad she doesn't exsit..
I'm cringing FOR Pippa here, Her plan.. She should of waited a little longer. Dragged on the whole "dead" thing. Haha.
Overall, This is a really good start to the story. Lots of humour, which is always good, right? It moved at the right pace and You have me hooked! Favourited!
~ Laurie.Author's Response: Hiya :) Thanks for doing this for me. It's okay. I understand, school has a habit of taking up loads of times.
Ah. I can totally understand that. But really? That's amazing! I'm so glad that you like Pippa, and I had a lot of fun writing that quote. I know, it is sad she doesn't exist :( She'd be a crazy best friend.
Haha. I know. But she gets to excited. She creates these plans but not all of them go so well ;) Haha.
Thank you so much for the nice review! It's made my day. I'm so happy you've added it to your favourites.
Thanks again. Report Review
OliveOil_Med: Hello, Laurie here with your requested review! Sorry It's took a while, RL sucks atm.
I was really happy when I saw someone had wrote Luna, I haven't yet had a story in my request thread to read Luna fics. ^.^ I love Luna!
I think Luna is a hard character to write and you've done pretty well in writing her odd, unique view on life.
I completley love the idea of this! It's a nice humourous fic that shows something that you really can imagine Luna doing. I love Ginny too, Another favourite character of mine. It's good to see the contrast between them both, and the bond appearing too.
"Luna leaned in closer, bringing her voice to a whisper. “Don’t worry. If anyone asks, I won’t tell that you opened it early.”" - This is totally something I can imagine Luna saying, I even read it in my mind in the voice of Evanna. Haha! (She plays Luna so well :))
I think you've characterized Snape well too. The way he's a little suspicious before he opens the present, I really can't imagine Snape finding it amazing and opening it quick (I just laughed at the thought). I also like the way he's a little reluctant to why Luna would of done this for him.
Great fic. I loved this.
I really felt the christmassy cheer - And its February!
Thanks for requesting, It was a lovely read! :D
P/s. I rated 10/10!Author's Response: No shame in picturing Evanna as Luna Lovegood. She was born to play the role! I even find myself trying to think of excuses for why Luna had Evanna's cute little Irish accent!
I never thought Irish accents could be cute before then!
And nothing can make you happier than a 10/10! I do love Luna and I have mother fics featuring Luna and Snape, but I am trying to come up with ideas about a longer story about them. Report Review
Aderyn: Hello, Laurie here with your requested review from forums. I'm sorry it's took a while to get to you.. RL has been a pain!
This seems pretty original, Not many seem to write just after Voldemort had fell and I think it's a pretty interesting topic to work with.
I liked the characterization of Elena. She seems real by the way she still gets a little shaken when something reminds her of those dark times. I think this is a good point to add in the story, I know I'd be like this if something that dark had happened. Its not something you'd forget over night.
I also like the innocence of Ollie. It shows not all innocence was lost hehe.
I don't have much to comment on, There's not alot I can say to improve the story I think its a great start. Well done :)
~ Laurie.Author's Response: Hi! No problem about the wait :)
I'm glad that you like the concept and Elena. Thanks for your kind review. Report Review
AquariaJasmyne: Hello, Laurie here from forums with your requested review! Firstly, I'm sorry it's took so long to get this to you, RL is a pain!
I'm happy to be reading something a little more on the dark side, I've been reading too much fluff recently. Ok, Down to business ;)
"thinking of the time he threw some of his brothers' wedding cake at one of Lucius Malfoys' peacocks." I think this quote is rather fabulous, You seemed to be able to add a little humour into what seems to be quite a dark-story.
That first flashback is amazing! I'm glad to see someone thinks that not ALL deatheaters are cold hearted. It's good to see him get effected like that. "his heart was wrenched in two" - thats beautifully.. sad? Yet effective!
Is it bad for me to get excited because you've used 'Burke' as a last name? My charrie on PW .. Her last name is burke (eep) hehe. *cough* sorry. got out of control there ;)
Oh wow. Aoife is dead? That was so sad in the flashback. I felt my heart break reading that, honestly. "She broke away, smiling at him, but then her big green eyes widened once more, but with horror this time."
Wow! Do you want me to cry?! This is fabulous. The pace is brilliant, The way you included flashbacks was good because it helped us build up more of a picture of Rabastan. My favourite parts were the flashbacks and the way you ended the story with the letter.
Thanks for requesting, This has been an excellent read.
Adding to my fave's!
~ Laurie.Author's Response: Oh, my gosh, Laurie, I could have sworn I responded to this amazing review! I am SO SO SORRY!!! D': I feel terrible, as this review was so lovely-I greatly appreciate it!
Eeeek! Fluff! *hides* hehe, glad to have given you a darker fic to read :)
I always try to have at least one lighter line in my dark stories - too much angst can be a little much after a while.
That's why I love writing about Death Eaters - surely not all of them were completely heartless! I always saw being one was more of a day job, with a few notable exceptions. Hehe, glad you think so!
Bahaha :P Well, I kinda hope you're not cranky with me and I did the name justice, haha! :D
Yeah, Aoife's dead. I felt that there was no other way, and I'm kinda glad that I managed to convey the sadness.
Um...no? Not really? Hehe, I'm so thrilled you liked this, Laurie! I loved ending it with a letter, too :) Ah, I'm so honoured for the favourite, hun! And once again, I must apologise for not replying sooner *blushes*
Thanks so much for this incredible review, darling!
-Lizzie Report Review
justonemorefic: Hey, Laurie again with your requested review (x2) hehe.
Ok, So you mentioned how you might think this chapter was boring? I don't think that. It perhaps could of done with a little more in the story. You know, But I can see how you kept it short. Short = Quick Updates, and too the point in some cases too. I like the introduction of Anjali, She's a unique one. I'm a little intrigued to why she helped them actually.
Overall, I think it was a good chapter. Perhaps could of been longer with a little more progress of the story shown. I didn't spot any grammar or spelling mistakes and I thought it flowed well.
Thanks for requesting, It's been a good read.
~ Laurie.Author's Response: I suppose I just hoped that people's attention would be kept long enough to get to more of the plot, which is in chapter 3. The mystery behind Anjali I hoped would be enough, but I don't know if I've made her mysterious enough. She's an OC, so I know people aren't as interested sometimes.
Thanks :) Report Review
justonemorefic: Hello, Laurie here with your requested review. So sorry for keeping you waiting, RL can be a pain! I'm playing catch-up at the moment ^.^
Ok, So. I like the way you started it off with the potion thing. It automatically makes the reader want to know; What is the potion? It must be something if they're hiding it? You know, That sort of jive ;)
"Oh for Fawkes sake" Haha, I love that. ;)
I really like how you've introduced the two characters, It shows they're mischevious and look like fun to read. Especially with ending with the classroom 'blast off from its hinges', Ooh somebodys in trouubleee. Hehe.
Good beginning, I'm gonna' read on and review chapter 2 for you aswell ^.^
~ Laurie.Author's Response: Hi and thanks! The intro's always so important, hehe. First impressions and all that. Never can be too sure about them! Report Review
TenthWeasley: HiHi. Laurie here from forums with that review you requested ;) Sorry about the wait!
"How welcome sleep would be now, just one moment’s respite from the soreness in his head" This quote seems to stick out to me from the rest of the story, I can relate to this because I went through a dark phase in RL and I remember thinking something along these lines. I think this is a great technique you have used to show how disturbed/upset your character is feeling.
Another way you've done this is; "A cat yowled from somewhere outside, startling Antonin out of his reverie." The simple thing like a cat shows how paranoid the character is; Its brilliant.
I like the way you have used small snippets of the flashback all the way through the story as your character moves. I think it's effective because it's not too long that you don't lose the character's movements outside the flashback.
Wow. I'm not usually a fan of dark stuff, not much anyway, I'm becoming more used to reading stuff though because I'm trying to be inspired for my own dark fic thats in progress. I think you've done really well and I especially love the characterization, The reader can really get a grip to how disturbed he's feeling, and how being a death-eater has effected him.
The last line is also really effective because it shows the character knows what is coming.
P/s. 9/10Author's Response: Thanks so much for coming by and leaving a review! Sorry about the wait for the reply - I promise I'm not always such a slacker. ^^
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story! I feel this is one of my best one-shots, and I am so pleased that you seemed to be able to relate to it. I write many, many of my emotions from absolutely no experience, so that I am able to write them so that people can feel them is just fabulous for me. =]
I'm not usually a dark fic person either, so this story was a bit of a surprise to me when I wrote it, but I am pleased with how it came about. Thanks so much for leaving such an amazing review!! Report Review
firefly910: Hey hey! Laurie here with your requested review! Sorry it's took me a while to get around, I'm usually quicker but I had quite a queue forming. :P
First of all, I'd like to comment on the summary; Which is something I don't usually do, But I'd just like to say I liked how it wasn't overdone. The two sentences were enough to sum-up your peice without over-doing it. And that banner is lovely, Those people @ tda are so talented *jealousy!*
I love the idea of this fic and I can totally imagine Harry wanting to reflect on all the people he's come across in his life and who has helped him. The first paragraph shows good characterization of Harry immediatly because I think we can all agree on the fact that Harry wouldn't be partying with the rest of them; He'd be too guilty from the amount of deaths.
"But now, now the hole was so big that it threatened to consume him, to take over his whole body so that all that would be left was a shell, a body without feeling." This quote is amazing. I think it really helps the reader connect with Harry's pain well, It choked me up reading it, honestly.
The way the paragraphs changed from person-to-person could be seen as moving too fast, but I liked the way you did this. I think it helps the reader see how many people Harry has lost, not just in the war. I like the links you made to his parents and other's that died before the war also, because it shows that Harry's been hurting for a long time.
I don't think you need to worry about the characterization of Harry, I think you've got it down to a T.
P/s. 9/10.Author's Response: Hi Laurie. Thanks for reviewing :)
I did toy with making the summary a bit more detailed but I just couldn't decide on anything. And then I thought why not just keep it simple and sum it up in two sentences. I'm glad you liked it, it appears it had the effect I was aiming for. The banner is beautiful isn't it? When nala did it for me I couldn't believe how much the banner went with my story, I love it so much.
*dances around* I'm so happy you think my characterization of Harry is immediate, I was so scared about writing him. He's not someone I've focused on as the main character before, I've always felt daunted by how JKR wrote him.
Oh wow, you said it was amazing! Thank you. I am proud of that sentence. I had that in my head a soon as I started writing the piece. It choked you up? Wow again, I'm amazed that my writing could do that to someone.
I agree with that it could be seen as moving too fast point. I could feel it going really fast as I wrote it but I couldn't think of another way to fit all the people who had touched Harry's life in, so I'm glad you liked it because I was worried about it.
Including Harry's parents was really important to me because it is the basis for the whole story, I thought bringing them in when talking about other people who had died would show just how much Harry had lost.
*dances around again* Down to a T? That has made my day, seriously.
Thank you so much for that review, it's made me extremely happy :) Report Review
Houlestar: Hello! It's Laurie from forums. I'm here with your requested review *cheesy grin!*
First of all, Nice banner! ;) Always something that catches my eye!
Hehe. The simple fact that Lily & James are head boy and girl, and don't know about eachother being it made me smile!
I think you wrote Remus extremley well from the start, Immediataly ensuring the reader would know that he was the more serious one from the group.
I also liked the way you wrote Lily with two-sides to her. The loving side when she's with her family at the beginning and then the blunt side when she's around James.
And oh how I love James' determination. I'm wondering why you wrote in your post that you worried about characterisation; You seem to write the characters very well!
Overall, I think this prologue tells us enough to make the reader want to read on and find out what James has planned for winning over Lily. Yet, it doesn't drag on with un-needed details. The flow is good and seems to move at the perfect time, I hate when a fic moves too fast and yours moved at the speed I like to read at, at least.
Thanks for requesting for this interesting read.
P/s. 9/10!Author's Response: Violet over at TDA is amazing, isn't she? I love her work. I'm glad that her banner is pretty to more people than just me.
I'm glad my little flights of fancy make people smile. I thought that since Ron and Hermione didn't know who the other prefects were until the meeting, it would be plausible that James and Lily would not know about each other.
I'm glad you liked my Remus, James and Lily portrayals. I always worry a little with my characterizations. (Even though people say it's good... I work hard at making sure they "sound" right.)
Thank you very much for your nice review!
p.s. Yay! Report Review
Kaida Snape: Hello, Laurie here with your requested review from forums. First of all, Sorry about the wait.. But I'm here now ^.^
Ok. I know how annoying the formatting can get when posting a chapter, but its a little un-easy to the eye with the giant gaps between the chapters. Is there any way you can fix this? I know that can put people off reading sometimes.
I love Severus so I was happy when I found that you'd wrote him. I couldn't help but notice the mistake you'd made in the first paragraph. You wrote "She spoke something", Forgive me if I'm wrong but I'm sure this should say "She said something".
I like the way you wrote his mood changing when Lily asked about his homelife, I can imagine him feeling like this. (It makes you want to hug him, Dont you think? No? Is that just me.. Oh right.)
It's also good to see him laughing though, like you wrote shortly afterwars, because this balances the emotions out and shows the innocence of him still being an almost care-free child.
Question: Did Lily really react that way to Snape calling her mudblood? Just by calling him Snivellus.. I think she'd be a lot more hurt than to use a nickname earned from the marauders.
Overall (I have to wrap it up else I'll be running out of character space!), I think this is a fantastic story. You balanced out the time well and I really enjoyed how it featured over so many years of Severus' life to show the way he matured, yet never really got over Lily. It was good to see his reaction to Petunia getting Harry too, As I found it odd we never actually learnt anything about that in the book.
There was a few grammar mistakes, but apart from that the story had a good flow to it and you didn't take too long on particular areas of the story - which is good.
Great job! Thanks for requesting.
9/10.Author's Response: I love Severus, too, don't worry. I wanted to hug him well before that amazing chapter with all the memories in DH. With the scene where Lily called him Snivellus, I didn't want to copy exactly what J.K. Rowling did (copyright and all), so I tweaked it a little to where all Snape heard was "Snivellus."
As for the spacing, I am trying to work that out. For some reason, every time I try and fix it, it doesn't work. I will try one more time to fix that, because you're right, it is putting even me off, and I wrote this. Thanks again for the review! Report Review
orderofthephoenix: Hellooo! Laurie here with your requested review!
Ok. First of all. EEP! I love the Script. I'm going to see them live in March! Ok excitement over.. Onto the review ^.^ ...
Aww. The way you start the fic of is great (obviously because I'm feeling sorry for Scorpius), The way he feels hopeless at home and good ol' Albus Potter is trying to get him out, Bless. ;) ~ This is my comment on good characterisation by the way ;D
I feel a little angry at Rose in a way, but I guess I shouldnt because I haven't heard her side of the story :( Its a shame Scorpius is so hung up on her.
You've done well to get the story from the lyrics; I think you've really listened and looked between the lines to get the best out of it. You've done a really good job and I was singing along while reading hehe.
Ps. *And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they’re slurred* - Stuck in my head now -.- heheAuthor's Response: Thanks Laurie! I'm glad you liked it. I seem to be getting good responses from this fic so I'm happy :D
I love the Script too! That's so awesome that you're seeing them live! ^^ Report Review
CapellaBlack: Hello, Laurie here with your requested review from forums ;)
Even before I started reading, Even before I'd clicked the link I smiled when I noticed that this is my first "Harry/Ginny" request. Eeeep (Oh, How I ADORE this pairing!)
Aww! Lily is so adorable, I thought it first when her eyes lit up at the sound of her father. Then even more so when she called the Basilisk a Basilock.
I'm feeling all giddy reading this story. Oh how I love a bit of fluff after many requests of dark-stuff. "And knights do get scared, when it comes to their hearts." - That line is SO cute.
Cakes instead of children? Fabulous! Haha.
"he jumped on his trusty steed – called Firebolt" - another line that is brilliant! I love how you have Harry as telling the story as a fairytale, It really shows the innocence Lily has :')
Oh wow! This story is so cute, I've just fell in love with Harry/Ginny a little bit more. Ok. This story is going in my favourites! I love it, seriously.
Thank you for a wonderful read! (':
Ps. 10/10Author's Response: Awww! This is a completely new realm for me - I usually write much darker, angsty stuff, and so I was very nervous to post it, in case people found it revolting. So your words have really helped calm me down (except that now I am bouncing with happiness!)
I'm glad you liked the fairytale take - it's this concept I'd been playing with for a while (writing a story with an obvious bias, so that the reader can see both concepts at the same time) and when the challenge was posted I jumped at the chance. It wasn't until I went to post it that the panicking happened!
So yeah, thanks for the input and the kind support - I may even try writing more stuff that isn't overly gloomy at this rate! Report Review
gingersnape: Well hello there ;) Laurie here with your requested review, and its a pleasure that you stopped by my review thread.. hehe.
Ooh, Another beatles challenge. My first review request on this thread was another from this challenge. It will be good to see the two huh? ;P i love the beatles♥! Oh and that banner is beautiful. Down to business..
Wow. This story is such a mystery. I've never read much like it before, With Bill as one of the main characters without his fellow Weasleys; Brilliant touch, Original in my eyes. ;)
Felix is brilliant. You've characterised him so well! I always seem to love evil-sounding characters more (strange huh?), I think it's because they hold so much strange emotion and power.
I felt quite sad that Jo and Fenrir didn't seem to have a happy ending, though all stories cannot hold as such, and the way you wrote it with that mysterious twist and feeling was fabulous. I also love the way Jo kept that object that he gave her - Very cute ;)
Overall, I really enjoyed this peice. It's not normally something I would read but I found it refreshing and very gripping from start to finish.
xAuthor's Response: Hello, and you are so fast at your reviews! I will definitely be back when I get my novel that goes with this posted, if that's alright with you! Hehe, thank you so much for doing this, it was very helpful and just generally awesome!
Oooh, lucky you getting to read two Beatles songfics in a day! (They are amazing! This is my first songfic, and I wasn't sure about doing a songfic, but I love the Beatles so much I had to join! :D) I squeed when I saw it in the Up For Grabs section! Man the people at TDA are good! :D Oh right, the review! Here, have a cookie and let's get this started! =]
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you think it's original, it really makes me happy to know it's different, and that the mystery in it worked out!
I adore the evil ones too! They always seem to have so much depth and the fact that Felix has that characterization I was going for is amazing. They do hold a lot of power, especially the smart but not quite violent just twisted ones because you never know what they'll do.
I really wanted to give them a happy ending, and actually did in a super early version, but it just didn't feel right. I did want to give them a bit of happiness, so the pocket watch was my way of adding in just a bit of love into this.
Again, thank you so much for doing this and I'm glad you liked it! I actually thought I would have to force the words to come for a story like this, but now I've surprised myself by really liking i!
Have a great day,
-ginger Report Review
Hyacinth Dursley: Hey, It's Laurie here with your requested review. I aplogize if its not up-to scratch because I don't usually read fics like this, but I'll try my best :)!
I like how you haven't wrote Hy' as some amazing muggleborn that comes to Hogwarts and grasps everything quickly; It makes her more real and believable, It's also good to see her progressing in the flying lessons :)
Catch me if you can? I like the idea of that game. Curious, Is that somewhere and I've simply never seen it before.. or Did you come up with that one yourself? ;P
Wow, Madame Hooch is still goin' eh? ;) Its good to see some old charries in these next gen fics, I like that! It's also good to see fresh faces, Because of course it's obvious they're all not going to be there so "Nurse Comfit" is good too. ;) OOh, and old Flitwick;D .. N'aw, Neville.. 'Nuff said ;) Author's Response: Thanks for looking it over! :) I wanted to write a believable character. She's eleven, I have to watch sometimes that I don't start throwing things at her that are too old for her. It can be so tempting to rush things along.
The game is my own, I figured they'd have some form of tag, after all kids have played it for centuries. I also like keeping some of the old characters, it helps give continuity to the story. Glad you liked it ! :D Report Review
In the words of Ron Weasley.. "Bloody Brilliant".
I was literally laughing my socks off when she'd ate that and was chasing Jessica, That's a really good twist ;)
I also loved the way all she could think about was the muffin between the conversation - Its something I'd do ;) I'm loving this story at the moment, Waiting for its next update ;)
xAuthor's Response: Aw thank you sooo much!! Glad you enjoyed the twist:-). Ha ha yeah cravings can just take over your mind sometimes lol. I'm so glad that your still reading and your enjoying it. Glad your arms better:-D and hope that you continue to stay tuned!!! Report Review
NeverGotHerLetter: Hello, Laurie here with your requested review. First point; Yay, Teddy! I love him atm ^.^ I have a one-shot with him, but he's younger in mine;).. Anyway!..
"Ginny on the other hand... well she does it all the time." - This line really made me laugh, I can imagine Ginny always commenting on people from her school life.. It's just Ginny all over ;)
Oh, This is cute. I love the way Teddy is brewing that potion, even if it is illegal, because it just makes me think of Lupin *swoon*. Oh, Also loving how he's best-mates with Olivers son? Am I right? ;)
Overall, You wrote this brilliantly with the correct amount of humour in it etc. I also like the references to the past, with Fred and Lupin&Tonks and I'm glad you didn't let the sad-feeling take over the story. You balanced the two moods well - Kudos to you ;)
I hope you did well in the challenge - You deserved it with this piece.
ps. Your summary wasn't a problem by the way. Just a short summary is perfect :P, Oh and thats a lovely banner ;)Author's Response: Hello Laurie :D
Ah, I love Teddy too! NextGen has recently taken over Marauders in my favourite era list!
Haha thanks :) I totally imagine her being like that too :)
Ahh, yeah. Lupin. *sigh* I miss him. :(
But yes, you're totally right; Jack is Oliver Wood's son :)
Actually, the challenge hasn't finished yet, and we haven't found out who's won, I just like to get challenge pieces in early :) Fingers crossed!!
Thank you so much! xx Report Review
electricfeel: Hello, Laurie here with your requested review! :)
The setting was brilliant at the beginning of the story, I could immediatly picture the scene and feel the coldness in the air.
Wow, The way you described fear as "thick smoke, creeping through keyholes" really sent a chill down my spine. That was brilliant and gave a really good effect to me as the reader because you begin to imagine how disturbed Draco's mind is.
It's good to see Draco in a different light. I haven't read many dark-Draco fics. I hate the odd fic that pops up which shows a transformed Draco, because I dont think he'd ever change completley, and of course there will always be a hatrid for Harry there too; and you showed that well with touching upon it ever-so-slightly. I like the way you've linked the dark night and the character, making him seem like he belonged there was a great touch.
I loved this. You've really done well with this peice. I'm adding it to my favourites ^.^
Go you ;)
~ Laurie.Author's Response: Thank you for such a speedy review :)
I really enjoy dark-Draco fics, especially post-war but I've always been a little afraid that I might not capture him properly as he is such a complex character. So I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and thanks so much for adding it to your favourites, wow! Report Review
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