Awesome chapter! Aw, Scorpius and Rose are so awkward, it's adorable. I just want to hug them both. And so many funny parts in this chapter, too! I can't even list them here. Update soon, please!

Author's Response: Hahaha, yes, awkward is definitely the best way to describe the two of them! Wow, thanks! Feel free to put in a couple of your favorites next time ;) I love seeing what people actually notice as being funny, and if any of my corny jokes really go recognised! Thanks so much for reviewing :)

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Yay, Remus is back! He needs to get up on his white horse and save Freddy from the evil healer. Speaking of Healer Creeper, yikes! He's told the other healers to stay away from Freddy? Creepy behavior, if you ask me. He's a bit too interested in her. I bet he's going to try and keep her sick for longer so that he can keep her locked up there. Cause he's a creep. And a jerk. And a... meaniepants. I do like Healer Elliot, though! You should have him come back. :) Anyway, great great great chapter, as always. Hope you update soon!

Author's Response: Hi breakingeven!
Yes, Remus is finally back! Took him long enough, didn't it? But don't worry, I plan to have him pop up again soon. He won't be leaving Freddy alone for long.

And I must say, you certainly don't like Healer Crane. I suppose that's a good thing, as he is currently Remus's rival. ;) However, the next chapter (which I'm hard at work on and should be posted soon) will hopefully shed some light on his behavior and perhaps give you a better understanding of his motives. ^_^

Also, I'm so very glad you liked Healer Elliot. He'll be back for the next chapter as well. ^_^

Thanks so much for the awesome reviews, breakingeven! You know I adore your feedback. I hope you have a pleasant weekend! Take care!

Best,
celticbard

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Okay, I've decided that Healer Creeper is definitely a vampire. He doesn't sleep--wide awake when he was busy declaring someone dead at 12:15 in the morning? don't think so--and he doesn't have TB. You think he'd get it being around all these people.

So that's my theory. I still don't like him, even if he has a "radiant aura". I think he wants to trick Freddy (and suck her blood) or something. I don't even know. I feel like he doesn't have good intentions though. But, great great chapter! 10/10

Author's Response: Hi breakingeven!
Ah, Crane as a vampire. That's a great theory. You know, in the old days, many consumptives were actually mistaken for vampires as they seemed to be "wasting away", all the while maintaining a strange pallor and coughing up blood. However, I can say with confidence that Crane isn't a vampire. (hope you're not disappointed!) He is, however, very isolated and awkward.

And as far as his intentions go, they will be detailed at length in the next chapter, I promise. Actually, Crane isn't really evil, he's just very inept when it comes to women. ;)

Thank you so much for the kind review, breakingeven! Your feedback never fails to put a smile on my face. I hope you have a pleasant week! Take care!

Best,
celticbard

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Oh, gosh, this is all so perfectly suspenseful! What had Trelawny said a long time ago? What does that have to do with Healer Crane? When are the patients going to go crazy and kill all the nurses and healers and run free?!?!? Just kidding, though that would be an interesting turn of events. :) 10/10 as always!

Author's Response: Hiya breakingeven!
Aww, thanks so much for taking the time to read and review! You've been such a supportive reader. I'm so very grateful for your feedback.

As to as what Trelawney said about Crane "a long time ago" you can find that in Chapter Seventeen of "Consumed". ;)

Haha, it would be funny to see the "lunatics take over the asylum", although I suppose consumptives lack the feverish motivation of some mental patients. ^_^

Thanks again for everything! I hope you have a lovely week!

Best,
celticbard

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Another great chapter! I hope that this letter doesn't seem as official as you suggest. :( I don't think I could stand to see Freddy let down by another male fixture in her life! Must keep reading!

Author's Response: Hello breakingeven!
Yes, Freddy could definitely use some positive male companionship right now. ;) And as far as the letter goes, I think you'll find it appropriately congenial, or at least, I hope so. ^_^

Thanks so much for the awesome review! It was really wonderful hearing from you. Take care!

Best,
celticbard

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I can't really say much about this chapter. It was interesting, yes, but it seemed to just be... purely informational. Nothing to critique. Ah, well, it's good to hear that Hermione has such a developed backstory, though I would have enjoyed a more condensed version. :)

Author's Response: It is different, and nice look at their lifes I think.

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Great opening. I love it when the first paragraph just grabs your attention, like this one did. I also really enjoyed the throwback to Wizard's Chess from Ron. It really gives him some believability, as it's normally difficult to write Trio-era fiction because the characters are so developed. But you've done a great job with Ron.

I really enjoyed the action sequences. Again, great writing.

Again, I find myself with a lack of words! I've nothing to critique, except that there's no connection to the first chapter. I'm assuming that'll come eventually, but as for right now, the story seems a bit disjointed. Other than that, this is a very high-quality story.

Author's Response: YAYAYAAYA. I am so glad you liked it. This chapter is one of my all time favorites. I actually almost wrote itself.

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Hello, breakingeven from the forums here with your review! Sorry for such a long wait! First off, wow. This chapter is long. But, let's get down to it.

I see no problems with the writing. You write very well, with good grammar and sentence structure. So, great job there. It's a breath of fresh air to read something so well-written.

Your characterization of Bellatrix was spot on. Creepy, even, how well you've captured her. She's surely psychotic, and it's often downplayed in fanfiction, but you've got every inch of crazy that she has!

There's not much I can say about this chapter, though. It's left me with a lot of questions, and I'm excited to see what happens next. Great job. :)

Author's Response: Mm, bella was really fun. I hate to admit it but I really liked writing her. She may make another appearance or two in flashbacks. Keep your eyes open!

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Aw, I liked this! Scorpius seems really believable. I think you've really captured the whole prejudice thing. I think I a lot of stories that involve Scorpius just kind of gloss over the fact that his dad was a Death Eater. (albeit, not a very good one, but...) I really liked it! Scorpius seemed like a real teenager (complaining all the time haha) and like a person who's dad is pretty much hated in the community he's in. :) Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you sooo much! I'm glad you like Scorpius!

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I think you really should get somebody to look over your chapters. Just in the first quarter of the chapter, I've found so many grammatical errors. It's difficult to read, and I think your story could only benefit from proofreading. The story is good, but if I was just browsing through stories, I would read the first two sentences of this and move onto something else.

You also have some very awkward paragraph breaks. Like, in the middle of dialogue. It's really confusing, and it would be best if it was on the same line. Even the end with like the "he said" part. Because, if you end a quote with a comma and put a "he said" or something after it, that whole thing is a sentence. It reads as a sentence, and it should stay together.

Again, I really think that Harry wouldn't be able to kill Mrs. Weasley. She was nothing but kind to him, and I think he would have just a shred of hesitation, at the very least. I know he's going through a change, but I think that the love Mrs. Weasley showed him through all the years would count for something and Harry wouldn't be able to bring himself to kill her until he had completely changed. He still seems to retain some of his former qualities, so it's a bit inconsistent to have him just be able to kill people who always showed him kindness.

Author's Response: Thanks for the much needed criticism

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So the beginning of this was much more believable. It kind of characterizes Harry as kind of a power-junkie, justifying his next fix by saying he'll stop eventually, but he might as well while he's here. This is a much needed improvement from the previous chapter, where he just completely changed overnight with no explaination.

I also noted a few missing quotation marks. It can make this very difficult to read, because sometimes I can't tell what is dialogue and what isn't.

Again, I'm having troubles believing your characterization of Harry. I think that he would have hesitated before killing the Dursleys. They were horrible to them, yes, but Harry isn't a murderer. And, they're the only family he ever knew. I don't know, it's just difficult for me to see him conjuring up enough anger at them to kill them all with one curse. I just think he would have more of an internal struggle.

I hope you don't think I'm being overly critical. Again, this is a great idea, I just think you're going too fast and sacrificing the quality and credibility of your story.

Author's Response: Thank you for leaving a review.

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Hello, breakingeven from the forums here with your review! Sorry for the long wait!

Anyway, the first thing about this story is that there are lots of misplaced punctuation marks. I won't put them all here, because it seems to be a recurring problem with each set of quotation marks. I am very... grammar based. It's a bit difficult to read sometimes as well, since you kind of jumble up dialogue and it becomes unclear who is speaking. I'd suggest starting a new paragraph every time a different character talks. It gives a distinction between who is talking when, without having to have excessive "he said, she said".

The story seems extremely rushed. Harry has strong convictions against Voldemort and everything he stands for. I think he would be more skeptical of Voldemort. I actually think that this is a really good idea. It seems perfectly in character for Voldemort to do something like this. But, Harry goes from a freedom-fighting, Voldemort's-going-down character to a completely different person in a matter of sentences. I know you want to get to the beginning of the plot quickly, but this kind of abrupt change just kind of puts me off. Also, I think that you should have expanded on his usage of the Killing Curse. In the fifth book, Harry can't even cast Crucio on Bellatrix Lestrange after she killed Sirius. And, in DH he doesn't even cast Avada Kedavra on Voldemort! It just kind of bugs me that he can so easily do it now, when he struggled with it so much in canon.

I don't know, I think the story has good potential, but the beginning really didn't strike a good chord with me.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review

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Hello, breakingeven from the forums here with your review. (Finally, sorry it's taken me so long!) This piece is very lovely, the writing was wonderful. The only criticism I can think of is that, at some points, it was overly vague. And, when you explaining the accidents in the beginning, it was a bit confusing to keep up with. But, it eventually sorted itself out in my head. Maybe it's just me, but that's really the only thing I didn't like about the story.

"The one thing that really struck me was her hair. It was not pulled back. She had down and it was wavy and thick and beautiful. The scene was perfect. It was something one might see as a happy ending to a book. Only I knew how the story really ended. And it was not perfect." This was my favorite part. It really shows the difference that Arianna made in her mother's life. I like the symbolism of the hair. When you were writing about Kendra outside of the pensieve, the reader only sees how strict she is and she's associated with her perfect bun. But, in the memory, she shows true, unabashed emotions and her hair is down. I thought this part was just beautiful.

The ending was a bit rushed for me, but overall, the story was fantastic. I really enjoyed it. 9/10

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed the scene from the hospital. That was one of my favorite parts to write.

Thank you again for taking time to read my story!

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I think it's awfully funny that you contracting whooping cough. XD I, personally, have chronic bronchitis. Ah, respiratory diseases, lol. Anyway, I again need to emphasize that Healer Crane is a CREEPER. I have rechristened him Healer Creep in my head, I'll have you know. And gosh, people are just so mean there! Poor Forbia, as if she didn't have enough problems to begin with. 10/10, as per usual, and onto the next chapter I go!

Author's Response: Hello again breakingeven!
Yes, I thought it was quite ironic that I came down with whooping cough. Ugh! It certainly made me sympathize with Freddy more. And I have had bronchitis in the past...it's awful, isn't it?

Haha, Healer Creep. I like that! It does suit him quite well. ;)

Thanks again for the awesome reviews! Your kind comments really made my day. Take care! ^_^

Best,
celticbard

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Yeah, I definitely don't like Healer Crane. He's creepy-nice. And his interaction with Lupin? Suspicious. I think he might like Freddy a bit too much. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this. Ah, so torn! Must read on! Great chapter, as always, 10/10!

Author's Response: Hey breakingeven!
Wow, you're a reviewing machine! I honestly can't express how grateful I am for your feedback. You've been such a supportive reader.

Yeah, Crane is creepy-nice, although he doesn't realize it, of course. He thinks he's just being nice...not socially inept. Haha.

Thanks again for everything!

Best,
celticbard

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I don't like Healer Crane. His niceness is... unnerving. Haha, maybe that's my own paranoia, though. But, I hope Freddy's okay! God, TB is horrible. And I love her so much!

Yeah, I know. I'm a bit crazy. Anyway, onwards to the next chapter, yeah? 10/10, as always.

Author's Response: Hi breakingeven!
Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to review! Your feedback has been wonderful.

And yes, I agree. Crane is a bit creepy, a little too nice. ;)

Thanks again for everything! Take care!

Best,
celticbard

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Okay. Wow. Wow. Wow. This fic was so amazing. I can't even put it into words. Forbia's characterization was fantastic. She was incredibly believable from beginning to end, and even the change in attitude due to sickness was perfectly understandable. The whole thing was insanely engaging. I had to tear myself away from the computer in order to leave the story! I haven't read a fic this good in such a long time, and I can't wait to read the sequel. I'm sure it's just as good. You're a very talented writer, and this whole fic sounded just like a book I would purchase in a store and read cover to cover in one night! I've spent the last day and a half reading this, when I probably should be doing my spring break homework, but it was completely worth every single second! I've never read or even seen anything as original as this. I would have never thought of Quirrell as being a social person, let alone getting engaged, but I love it as just one of the completely unique things about this story! Oh, God, look at me, I'm gushing. But it really was super fantastic. I'm going to go post it in the recommendations section of the forums right now, although I hope somebody would have beaten me to the punch by now! I will almost certainly be re-reading this in the near future. 10/10, I would rate it higher if I could! :)

Author's Response: Hello breakingeven!
*blushes* Oh my...I really don't know what to say. What an a amazing review! I'm afraid this reply isn't going to be very coherent. I'm entirely speechless.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my fic and share your thoughts on it with me. Your feedback really means the world to me. I cannot possibly express how grateful I am for your kind comments.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. It was the first ever full-length HP fic I'd ever written, so I was quite nervous about posting. And I'm really happy you enjoyed the Quirrell/OC pairing. He certainly does not get enough attention in the HP fandom.

Thanks again for everything! I hope you have a great review!

Best,
celticbard

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Ah, dangit! I was hoping she wouldn't have MDR-TB! But, I'm so glad I decided to read this fic. It's so good. Very addicting.

Author's Response: You are correct! Freddy does have MDR-TB. I know, I'm not being very kind to her. ;)

Thanks again for the thoughtful review!

Best,
celticbard

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Hah, I knew it! I'm sorry for not reviewing any of the previous, but I just... I just had to keep reading! And I plan on leaving you a nice, looonnnggg review when I get to the end of this. But, I knew it! I knew it I knew it! You kept mentioning the cough, and I have extensive knowledge of respiratory diseases because I wrote a research paper on them just last semester, and TB was my focus! Then, when you mentioned the blood, I was like "oh yeah, it's TB." And then the line about tuberculosis in the opera? Yeah. I knew it! I'm so proud of myself now. XD Anyway, fantastic story, I can't wait to finish it!

Author's Response: Hello breakingeven!
Thank you so very much for the lovely reviews. It was wonderful hearing from you. Your kind feedback really put a smile on my face. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading "Consumed". ^_^

Yes! Freddy has TB. You are quite right. You know, I think only one other reviewer picked up on her respiratory illness. I suppose I was rather cryptic about, so you must be very astute. ;)

Thanks again for the awesome review! I hope you have a great week!

Best,
celticbard

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I started squealing uncontrollably when Scorpius was on the stand! Oh my god, they are so cute. So awesomely fantastically cute. Oh, and this:

"You know--he was--" James gestured a lot with his hands. "I can't even put it into words, it was so appalling."

made my night. :) Update soon please! It's so so so good!

Author's Response: Hooray! Thanks! I'm loving your reactions! I certainly hope you return for the next installation! That James...never really one with words, I guess! Thanks for the continued reviews :) I'm working on chapter 9 and I hope to have it up soon.

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Ah, wtf Scorpius?! He should have gone for it! Again, great chapter!

Author's Response: Hahahahahaha! But that Scorpius doesn't want to be seen with a Weasley! Or does he? Thanks again for the reviews :D

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OH SCANDALOUS. And some Rose/Scorpius loving in there too! Great chapter! Must read next one!

Author's Response: There's always some hidding Scorose lovin' ;) At least in my head there is. Thanks again for reviewing!

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Jasper Reed is a funny name for a very funny person. :) Though, I think he may share some of Rose's wet-blanket-ish qualities. They're prefect for each other!

... Just kidding. XD

Author's Response: Heehee, you made a funny! :D I liked it. Jasper is a bit of a wet blanket. He's also a bit socially awkward, but the poor guy doesn't deserve Rose's snubbing. She's just so oblivious! Thanks so much for continuing to review! :)

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"Oh, yeah, right up there with the Crucifixion and the Blitz"

I laughed for a whole minute at that. Just looking at it again is making me laugh. Why are you so funny?!!?!?

Author's Response: Yayyy that is one of my favourite lines that I've written! Thank you for appreciating it. Maybe it was a little much...but I thought it was funny. A whole minute?! I'm so glad! Hahaha :D

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The bit about setting the Burrow on fire?! Hilarious! Classic! I laughed so hard. God, there are just so many parts of this story that I just have to stop for a minute and laugh! Great, great, great job.

Author's Response: I couldn't resist making a comment on that ludicrous scene! It was ridiculous, and I think we all agreed, hahaha. Please, laugh it up! I'm so glad I'm making you laugh! Hahaha. Thanks again for reviewing :)

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