Reading Reviews From Member: writeyourheartout
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Review #26, by writeyourheartoutSeized: Who Ever Said Relationships Were Easy?

9th January 2015:
Dee Dee Dee ♥

I'm having a lot of fun rereading this story and finally leaving some proper reviews for it, too! ^.^

I love your Ron and Hermione. They are so plausible as a couple here, with a fight I can so easily imagine them having. The dialogue between the two of them, the hot-headed banter, the dramatic storming off after Hermione's singular attempt at kind and rational doesn't exactly go over well - it's all just spot on. What I think is even more exceptional about your writing of these two here is the fact that they're actually having a relatively common fight, and so it would have been easy to make them sound like any old generic couple, but you were able to make them feel so authentic - like Ron and Hermione in this fight and not anybody else.

What I love about their story in this is how believable it is. You cover so many fundamental topics that couples really should agree on if they plan to last without any of it feeling like simply a ploy to separate them and make way for Draco. It's all rooted deep in realism, so that I never question why things happen the way they do.

Oh! And bonus points for not making Ron some horrible person who treats Hermione poorly or is an awful boyfriend, but simply just not the right fit for Hermione. Love that.

I love the job you've given Hermione, by the way. I'm pretty sure she ends up working in law in canon as well, but the Dobby's Law thing is just such a spectacular branch off of that - regardless of what Ron thinks. ;) And I love how her beaded bag trick comes into play and basically improves every office worker's life! You're so clever and creative. ^.^

Aww... the proposal sounds pretty hilariously charming... almost makes me sad they're having such issues now. But, luckily, I've never been particularly attached to the Ron/Hermione ship, so... I think I'll be alright. ;)

Your attention to detail is really great. For example, when Hermione is doing the dishes by hand and it's mentioned how once upon a time Ron woke poke fun at her and she'd throw bubbles at him, but now he just rolls his eyes... Such a smart choice to include that sort of then versus now comparison to showcase how their relationship has changed. Not only that, but IT'S SO TRUE THAT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS! Things you used to love about someone can eventually start to just annoy the crap out of you! hahaha

Harry's proposing! Daww. Sweet. ^.^ I think it was really clever of you to include a Harry/Ginny subplot that focuses on how happy the two of them are in comparison to Hermione and Ron. It just sort of solidifies the fact that things are not the way they should be between two people actually in love, and not just together out of habit or convenience or for any other reason.

Great chapter, Dee. Like I said, I'm really glad to be rereading this story. Maybe by the time I reach chapter 22 again, there will be a chapter 23! ;)

Tanya ♥

Author's Response: Tanya Tanya Tanya! ♥

I can't believe you're going back over this and leaving more reviews. The last lot you left me were beyond lovely, now I get more! I am not worthy *bows*

I know a lot of authors on here shy away from writing the trio because readers know them so well and can be so critical if anything it OOC, but I actually find them the easiest to write BECAUSE we know them so well. I wanted to keep their essence but still show that they were older, their little domestics definitely helped with that. And I really wanted to make their break-up totally about them, which is why I didn't have Draco have any involvement with Hermione until after her break-up. I definitely couldn't make Ron horrible, he's petulant and childish at times but not horrible, and never a cheater! I'm so glad you commented on the proposal, it took a lot for me not to get carried away and make that a bigger scence. I actually love Ron and Hermione, and they're definitely one of my favourite canon ships, but Draco/Hermione will always be my preference :p

*blushes* I'm thrilled you liked the job Hermione has, the Dobby's Law thing just seemed like something she would do, it's a step up from SPEW but I think Ron ruined that name for her ;)

I'd be lying if I didn't say my own relationship disagreements played a big part in this, and you're so right about little things going from endearing to just plain irritating, don't tell my bloke I said that ;)

Hah! MAYBE there will be a chapter 23, I seem to have distracted myself writing other things but I have the end of this story all planned so I will be finishing it...soon ish.

Thank you so so so so SO much for another amazing review. You are just the best. Love love love!! ♥

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Review #27, by writeyourheartoutEffortlessly Dead: Gone

4th January 2015:
*waves* Back for more!

Actually, I should confess, I read this last night, but was too tired to write out a review simultaneously or even take notes, so I'm working a bit on memory for this particular review now, so please forgive me if it's slightly less detailed than usual!

The first section was so freaking intense, Emmi! I mean, omg... the tension in that room with the family was just crazy ridiculous. And I sort of felt torn while reading, because I understood everyone's perspective on the events that had just happened - Menna's anger towards Ifan, Ifan's guilt about Aled and - for once - silence during the majority of that scene, and Rhian's anger and blame towards Menna, plus everyone who was just trying to be comforting. A lot happening at once and it made for an excellent read.

One thing I love in particular about you and your writing style is that you so clearly understand who every one of your characters is - even the more minor ones who don't spend much time in the spotlight. For example, the glimpse into Nia's past... ugh, that was so sad. But, again, it shows how three-dimensional you characters are - how each of them has a story of their own within the Shrike clan, and it makes me all the more inclined to root for them - for all of them.

What a twist when Menna disappeared! Honestly, I feel like I should have expected it by this point, seeing as she's always doing irrational things to make up for a mistake, but I truly didn't see it coming. I thought that after her break down and after being scolded by the one and only Rhian, that she was down for the count for the rest of that day, at least! But nope! She disappears right underneath their noses, yet again. hahaha She's the best, but I also kind of want to slap some sense into her. :-p

And then off to Galen! I love his POV so much. He's got this humor about him that I didn't really pick up on as much before, but that really shined through in this chapter - both when he was talking to Joseph and when he was being threatened by Menna.

BY THE WAY: If I thought Vance was annoying, this Joseph character just blew him out of the water. Holy cow, did he need to be slapped. Poor, patient Galen, stuck being - mostly - nice to him. I don't think most people could handle that level of stupid quite so well. :-p

AND THEN THE MENNA AND GALEN SCENE! Is this the scene that started off the entire Effortlessly Dead universe? I have a sneaking suspicion it might be... Either way, I just loved it. I'm not sure I can even quite articulate what I want to say... Just that I love the way Galen reacts to her hostility - not so much with fear, but something closer to amusement. They definitely have an undeniable chemistry.

My favorite moment was right at the very end when he grabs her and they apparate away! Gah! Why did you have to end it there?! You horrible, mean, cliff-hanging person, you! hahaha I hope chapter nine will be out soon, because I am dying to know what happens next between them! Hopefully chapter nine includes one of their perspectives too, or else I might have to wait even longer to find out! Eep!

This was excellent. As always. Can't wait to read more! ♥


Author's Response: Hello Tanya!

Can I have your memory? I don't think I could have managed this amount of detail based solely on memory!

I'm so, so happy you liked the first section! I was a little worried there would be too much going on and the reader would be confused about who this person is and what they're talking about. I'm glad that this was not the case!

There is so much information about each of the characters that I think only a fraction will actually end up being mentioned in the actual story! I enjoy creating characters (so much so that at some point I have to stop and focus on writing the story! :p) and giving them their defining quirks. So glad that this shows in the writing and you like the characters! I was a bit worried that Nia's back story would seem redundant and unnecessary, but gladly it had the intended effect!

Yay! I managed to catch you by surprise! That makes me so happy! I kind of expected her disappearance would be predictable, given how she's always doing her own thing, but this was a pleasant surprise! She does need someone slapping some sense into her, though, and I've got just the right person for the job in mind. ;) Whether he's successful or not remains to be seen...

Galen's humorous side came as a bit of a surprise to me as well, I have to admit (just like Ifan's disinterest in magic). Then again, we've only seen interact with his colleagues in chapters one and seven; the rest of the time he's been with his family with whom he has a slightly strained relationship. It seems like he can be himself when surrounded by the people he works with.

Oh, Joseph. I wouldn't tolerate him a second in real life (and I don't think Vance would either!), but he's so, so much fun to write about! Thankfully we won't be seeing much of him. ;)

Yes! That is the very scene that started everything and I'm so glad you liked it!

I ended it at that scene because cliffhangers are the best way to end a chapter! ;) Hopefully I'll have chapter nine out by the end of January (preferably earlier...) and don't worry, Menna and Galen will appear in it, so you'll find out what happens to them next. I wonder if I manage to catch again you by surprise. We'll have wait and see!

- Emmi

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Review #28, by writeyourheartoutEffortlessly Dead: Two for Sorrow

3rd January 2015:
And I'm back again immediately because I was too intrigued to walk away. So hello again, Emmi! ^.^

AHA! IT WAS MURDO! Although he was expecting someone else! I wonder who... O_O I predict he will be very sorry very soon that it was Menna he got instead. I know my girl is gonna put him in his place... or at least I very much hope so! *fingers crossed*

Oh boy, Murdo. Not only is Menna hopefully going to own you, but you seriously dissed your girlfriend. Trouble, trouble, everywhere. But aww... the way he thinks about her in the aftermath of the fight is really quite sweet. That first impression I got of him really wasn't too far off, I suppose - at least in regards to Gry. It's nice that you have these assassins and murderers who aren't like Voldemort, but who actually care for and protect the people in their lives, regardless of their activities.

I love that you tied in little reminders of the past as Murdo attacks Menna - the eyes in particular really made an impact as he sort of struggles between the then and the now. AND THEN MENNA TAKES HIM OUT WITH A HEADBUTT. THAT'S MY GIRL. Well, 'takes him out' is a bit of an exaggeration, but still. I love how after attacking her, he's now trying out smalltalk. hahaha I also love that as of right now, I still have no idea what his intentions are! Does he really just want to talk? I'm about as suspicious as Menna. I love their back and forth, though.

AH! MURDO IS THE ONE WHO FRAMED MENNA! CRAZY! Ugh and he's so nonchalant about it! Guilty as charged. This scene is so intense! It takes a lot to shake up Menna, and seeing her clearly frightened and being backed into a corner is really something. Although now I'm thinking perhaps even that was a facade? Like how the way she held the knife was meant to be misleading - to make her look like an amateur - perhaps her demeanor was the same? Eep!

THIS LINE: "Oh, I didn't miss," she said, smiling nastily. "I hit you right where I wanted to." - DID SHE? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT EXACTLY DID SHE DO TO HIM? AND NOW THEY'RE ATTACKING HER. WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?

...I suppose that will have to be answered later. Hello Galen, my love. :-p

Daww, he and Rosie are so fun together - even whilst working on dead people. hehehe And I love that Galen talks to them when no one's around. He's the best. ^.^ There's so much humor in this chapter, and you write it just as well as you write everything else.

CRUP CHASE! CRUP CHASE! SOMETHING CRAZY'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN! *holds breath* OMG OMG OMG SO MUCH IS HAPPENING. (Is it weird that even in all this chaos, I was a little giddy when Galen and Menna locked eyes? Aww, and then he wants to help her! ♥ I will continue to ship them regardless of what happens.) MURDO JUST SAW ALED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS. OMG THIS IS INSANITY AND I AM LOVING IT. (Though, fingers crossed all of the Shrikes get away unharmed - or at least alive!) EXCEPT OMG ALED! WHAT HAPPENED? AND WAS IT ACTUALLY IFAN'S FAULT, LIKE GALEN SEEMED TO THINK IT MIGHT BE? EMMI THIS IS CRAZY!

Oh, thank goodness for Galen! Aled's alive! Eep! Yay! Phew! And Galen... I didn't think it was possible, but he continues to grow on me more and more! I mean, he kept her knife and hopes to return it to her. They're both so awesome, I need them to be at least a small thing together. :-p

This chapter was my favorite so far. It was just incredible. So much happened and I really can't wait to read more. And if chapter eight is your favorite, I can only imagine the sheer amounts of amazing it must contain, because this chapter was so phenomenal. I should definitely try to sleep, because it's really late here now, but I have to keep reading. I can't promise a review tonight, only because I'm sleepy and might soon be incoherent, but expect it soon! :)


Author's Response: Hello again Tanya! :)

Yes, it was Murdo the Magpie! He wasn't expecting Menna because he had been certain they'd keep a close eye on her after her previous blunder and wouldn't let her wonder off on her own... Shows how little he actually knows. :)

Murdo has trouble relating to other people since he didn't have many chances to interact with others when he was younger. However, he's very protective of Gry and would do basically anything for her (anything except let go of his obsession with the Shrikes, of course). I've done my best to show that these people are humans, not monsters, and despite what they do, they do have a heart.

As you've probably already surmised, Murdo has trouble letting go of the past. Anything and everything that reminds him of that night is bound to get a reaction out of him. Like Menna's eyes, for instance. And you're quite right to be suspicious of Murdo. I very much doubt he wants to just talk...

Menna was genuinely frightened at that moment, true enough, but she wouldn't show it that easily. So that part was an act. :) She has an excellent aim and that strike was meant to show to Murdo she was not to be underestimated; sort of "See? I can hit you anywhere I want."

Cliffhangers are the best, don't you think so too? ;) I'm pretty certain the job description for medical examiners requires them to have a sense of humour; otherwise it would be too morbid down in the morgue.

When I was writing that part, I was wondering if it was ever going to end. o.O It was insane! So much was happening! And no, it's not weird at all you were giddy when their eyes met. They do make a pretty cute couple. :) And I don't think anyone knows for certain if it was Ifan's fault or someone else's; I think it was more than one spell that hit him.

Galen and Menna will cross paths soon; I wonder if I manage to catch you by surprise this time. :) Hopefully you'll like chapter eight as much as I do!

Until next time!

- Emmi

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Review #29, by writeyourheartoutEffortlessly Dead: Trouble Arising

3rd January 2015:
Hi Emmi! Back for more! ^.^

Another fantastic chapter, of course!

I really loved getting to see things from Gawain's perspective! It's so much fun reading through his theories and understanding his thought process while knowing the truth - or at least a good amount of it - already ourselves. Part of me wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him when he's on the wrong track and give him meaningful looks when he's on the right one! But alas, I don't think this story is interactive, huh? :-p

The end of his section was so thrilling! Like, I'm half-excited that something crazy might be happening, and half-nervous that my darling Menna might be in trouble! You're so incredible at building up tension and suspense; it's what I love about this story - you always keep me on my toes with these little surprises!

Side-note: I'm still wondering exactly how Cosmas Fawley ties into this whole Shrike/Magpie thing! It's super intriguing. That man is a mystery unto himself right now.

Aled's section is just as fascinating, and for very similar reasons - me knowing what he doesn't quite understand yet (or at least in the beginning of this section). I love the slow build to the truth, though, with the cat's appearance striking him as odd to remembering the promise that of course Menna was bound to break from the beginning. I also really enjoy it when Aled and Ifan have scenes together, because they're brothers, but they're so different from each other and it always makes for an interesting read. Aled does tend to be more of a worry-wart than the rest of the family, but when Ifan worries, you know it's something serious.

Also, before I wrap up this section, I just have to ask: is Aled the one letting the cat into Ifan's room? Bahahaha! Either way, your little sprinkles of humor throughout the story are always such a nice touch.

And now... MENNA! ♥

...the thigh-length, thick cardigan had one advantage: it completely hid the thin knife she had strapped on her back hipbone. - Gah! She is crazy bad-ass. Your descriptions here are really wonderful, with her stuck in the cold, contemplating her options.

Hmm... I wonder why her birthday this year matters?

OMG. SOMETHING'S HAPPENING! Not gonna lie, I definitely was not expecting her to run into trouble just then! Excellent twist there, right at the end, and quite a cliffhanger, too! Eep! The first second she bumped into the guy, I actually thought it might be Galen, but as it continued - obviously with her not recognizing this person - I quickly ruled him out and now I'm thinking it's Murdo! Does that mean he thought her to be the weakest link, though?... That doesn't seem right... Unless he's just terribly uneducated in the awesome that is Menna. So maybe it's Vance? Or... someone else completely? LOL Clearly I have no idea, to which I say great job! Nothing better than an unpredictable story!

Some minor details:
- No matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find any reason for Cosmas Fawley to have *so vicious enemies that they would **sent the Shrikes after him. - *such, **send
- ...that would throw the suspicion *of off him. - *off of
- Why *where the Fawleys chosen as a target? - *were
- Why *sent that to us and not to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?" - *send
- He said *us much to Ifan. - *as
- Menna contemplated her attire to get her mind *of off the cold. - *off of
- He was faster, though, and snatched her wrist in a *wise-like grip. - *vice-like grip

As always, this was brilliant. I'm going to at least start the next chapter/review now, but I might not finish it today because it's a long chapter! hehehe I'm excited to see what it holds, though! Oh! And then chapter eight! Your favorite! Eep! I'm closing in! :-D

Great job, Emmi. You and this story are just phenomenal. ♥


Author's Response: Hey Tanya!

Gawain Robards is slowly sneaking his way into my list of favourite characters. I have half a mind to write a story about him... No, unfortunately this story isn't interactive so you can't give clues to the characters. ;) That would be fun, though, if that was possible!

Of course Menna is in some kind of trouble. Trouble is her middle name (well, no, not really; it's Angharad... but it could be). So glad you like the tension! I have always so much fun writing those parts.

I'll never tell! ...No, wait, yes I will! Just not right now. ;)

Aled really is such a worry-wart. Ifan is both amused and exasperated by it. Writing those two together is so much fun (really, what isn't?) because it guarantees some funny moments, like with the cat. Aled is indeed the one who keeps letting it into Ifan's bedroom. He thinks it's hilarious but he'd rather his big brother never finds out about it...

Yes, Menna! That was one of the hardest parts to write in the whole chapter since I had to write and rewrite that scene several times till I got the description right, so I'm glad you liked it! Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough why her birthday matters. :)

Yay, I managed to catch you by surprise! I really enjoyed writing that part so it's great to hear it had the intended effect! And double yay for you trying to guess the identity of the person! You'll find out soon enough...

Thanks for pointing those out to me and for all of the compliments! They always put a huge smile on my face!

Until next time!

- Emmi

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Review #30, by writeyourheartoutBackground Noise: The Curse of Carkett Close

2nd January 2015:

Omg. This is... hilarious. And ridiculous. And hilarious. And I can't even think straight because what did I just read? hahaha

...I honestly have no idea how to review this. LOL It's so... bizzare! And perfect! And hilarious! (Have I mentioned?) Seriously, what is happening?

Alright, allow me to gather my thoughts and attempt some coherency.

*takes many a deep breath*


The Carkett Close. Omg, how in the world did you come up with that? The story behind it is just... ahahaha! Seriously, it's so great. So funny and weird and this review is just me talking in circles. What do you want from me? You've unscrewed my brain.


James Potter II - what are you doing with your life, kid (besides hitting up a pub)?! Sentient, telepathic mould?! Bahahaha - Lizzy. AHAHAHA CREEVEY - OF COURSE HE GETS A CAMEO. ♥

I'm sorry this isn't a better review, but nothing I write will live up to this epic opening chapter. So I'm just going to tell you that this is sincerely phenomenal, hilarious, ridiculous, crazy, hilarious, strange, so so weird, bizarre, hilarious, wacky, splendiforous, nonsensical amazingness and I laughed throughout the entire thing.

You are a brilliant. And my sincere apologies for the level of stupidity that is this review.


P.S. No, seriously, I adored this, it is brilliant, you are brilliant, and I again apologize for the amount of stupid I've left for you to clean up. G'day, sir.



jk jk

You've asked all the right questions with this fic: "what even did you just read?" is a very fitting question. Because I myself don't know the answer even though I wrote all this rubbish. You would think that I have better things to do.

I can't believe I actually used that crazy prompt. :P And um, of course the whole story had to fit around that prompt. As for James II, did I say that he was 'hitting up a pub' or 'hitting a pub'?

Creevey is everywhere. He's like a cockroach. :P An adorable one.

This review gave me all teh lulz. I don't deserve reviews for this fic, really. But I LOVE ALL OF THEM ANYWAY. ♥

THANK YOU MY DEAR. Oh, wait, you forgot this. *hands over unscrewed brain to Tanya*

♥ ♥

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Review #31, by writeyourheartoutAll or Nothing: there is a light that never goes out

2nd January 2015:
Hi Kristin, my love, and Happy Hot Seat Day! :-D

I love the way this begins. That opening line's description is just phenomenal.

The entire first section - little shadows - is just brilliant. Even at ten years old, Bellatrix is just awful. The use of the bug was an incredible reflection on all three sisters and who they turned out to be as adults: Narcissa a bit prim and squeamish, Andromeda brave and merciful, and Bellatrix... who laughs at this helpless, half-dead beetle, garnering some sick pleasure to see it suffer. Brilliant.

And then when this section wraps up and speaks about how each of them truly did turn out, I felt it was so spot on the way Bellatrix would have seen both of her sisters regarding the paths they'd chosen. It's clear that you have a great understanding of who each of them is, both as children and adults. Plus, the way this section ends is ridiculously intriguing. ^.^

Section two - light and dark - is immediately compelling, because right away we learn that this person who Bellatrix loved (loves?) is not only not Voldie - the only person I'd have thought Bellatrix could offer anything close to affection for - but that it's a woman! And I love this idea of Bellatrix being attracted to this woman's power, because that is just so who she is. It's all so plausible, is the thing - because you stretched the boundaries of who Bellatrix is in the books, but you made it believable by keeping the parts of her that would most likely be unshakeable. For example, the woman being a pureblood, as I don't know if I would buy Bellatrix falling for someone with any sort of Muggle lineage. And then it expands into someone who actually supports the Dark Lord too! When you were describing her bright color choices, I was sort of the opinion that she might actually be a decent person - possibly even in a different House than Slytherin - but this woman is actually a lot more like Bellatrix than I originally thought! hahaha It makes perfect sense that Bellatrix would fall for this woman, because I'm pretty sure she's actually in love with herself. So... next best thing! ;)

I love how easily this could translate into canon! She still ends up married to Rodolphus - and the reasoning behind it is just spot on - she doesn't have children, and she's still an awful, awful person, who's love for this woman doesn't bend her out of character at all!

And finally, part three - ash and embers - gah! These lines: Power was intoxicating and left me breathless with glee, and I never wanted to leave the Dark Lord, for the powerful shadow he cast enveloped me as well. There was still you, my love, but in comparison to the Dark Lord, you were no longer the striking majesty you had been; now you were only my equal. - Just... yes. So much yes.

This entire end section, really, is so much yes. The descriptions here are to die for, Kristin! Like... I'm in awe of the details of your writing in this final bit. Just wow. And it was really quite a twist when you mentioned the woman - who remains unnamed, and I rather love that - was set free by claiming she'd been under the Imperius Curse all that time. Is it weird that I almost respect Bellatrix for her loyalty? hahaha

I love the way it ends, with those questions about the Woman Who Was. I wonder, too, what became of her. I suppose neither of us will ever find out, huh? :-p

Anyway, this was really phenomenal writing, Kristin. You're just too good. Stahp it. ♥


Author's Response: TANYA ♥ You are so wonderful! I've left this review for a while because it kind of left me speechless and I had no idea how to do it justice in a response!

It is so lovely to hear that you liked that opening line description, thank you! And I'm really glad you liked the insect analogy and how it reflected on the sisters' personality, as well as the way Bellatrix saw them as adults. I really like Andromeda and Narcissa as characters so this was so weird to write from Bellatrix's POV :p

I'm thrilled that you find this all to be plausible and that it stuck to the aspects of her character that are too solid to change. As I saw it Bellatrix really loves power and is so drawn to it, so what would happen if that came in the form of another woman? And really I wanted more gender equality in the Death Eaters :p hah, I really appreciated that you said the woman initially sounded like she might be a really decent person - and as Bellatrix sees her, of course she is :P I love what you said about them being so similar that it's almost like Bellatrix is in love with herself. Probably an element of that in here as well! :p

I'm really glad that you see this fitting into canon as well, that this is all possible as behind the scenes, that's exactly what I was hoping for.

Those lines I think sum up a lot of who Bellatrix is and I'm glad they stood out to you! And I'm thrilled that you liked the descriptions in that last bit - that was some of the weirdest writing I've ever done as she's insane and essentially shrieking at a wall but she sees it as this beautiful thing :p

Ahaha, yess, I'm really happy that you mentioned you almost respect Bellatrix for her loyalty as that was definitely part of my goal, to maybe put readers on Bellatrix's side if only for one second, while still fully recognizing how evil she is. :p

A mystery left unsolved, indeed. :p Yeah, I don't know what happened to her either!

Thank you so much, Tanya! Reviews like this are why I keep writing. ♥

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Review #32, by writeyourheartoutEffortlessly Dead: In Motion

30th December 2014:
Oh my dearest darling Emmi... I know I shouldn't be surprised by this at all, but wow - what a great chapter! Just like always. How do you do it? Give me you talent right meow! :-p

This first section was great. I love that we pick up bits and pieces of the Magpie slowly over the course of the story, so that I never quite feel like I know enough to satisfy my curiosity; I am always left wanting to know even more!

I love the moment shared between Menna and Aled. It was pretty great seeing her dad really stand firm and be a bit harsh towards Menna, and even better was seeing Menna show some actual signs of guilt! I mean, I knew the second she made that promise to Aled that she was just feeding him what he wanted to hear, but it was sweet to see her actually care about her father's feelings, as different as they may be from one another.

And then the way you ended that section! Gah! You've got me all nervous, now, leaving the last line at "...she couldn't quite silence the nagging feeling that told her she was making a mistake." I mean... something's bound to go wrong, isn't it? Eep! I hope she stays safe! And, assuming she runs into Galen again while there, I hope he stays safe too! You know they're both my favorites. DON'T YOU HURT THEM! ;)

And then this second section. Your description during the dream is to die for. Really beautifully done. And what a surprise that it's big, bad Murdo having this nightmare! And OMG MURDO IS DEFINITELY THE MAGPIE, YEAH? ...We didn't know that for sure before now, did we? It's been a little bit since I read the last Murdo scene, but this definitely feels new, and OMG. CRAZY. I think last time I wrote about Murdo, I said that he actually seemed kind of sweet because of the way he interacted with Gry, but if it's between him and Menna, you know whose side I'm on! :-p

Sheesh. Vance sure is annoying, isn't he? hahaha He seems super sleazy, and I definitely don't blame Murdo for his distrust. That was why Murdo had resolved to dispose of him permanently as soon as he was no longer useful to him. - Can't really blame him for that either... LOL Not that I'm condoning murder, of course. hehehe I still can't get over how casually cruel your characters can be. It's endlessly intriguing.

And then the ending...


I suppose we'll find out soon enough, yeah? Gah, this is still so great and exciting and I hope I get the chance to pop over to chapter six soon! As always, you are brilliant. Really great chapter, Emmi, and I'll be seeing you soon. :)


Author's Response: Hello Tanya!

Unfortunately I don't know how I do it! I just do my best! (And I see what you did there! :))

That's the whole point! :D So glad that's how you feel since that is what I'm aiming at! That moment between Menna and Aled was one of my favourites to write so I'm glad you enjoyed it. And of course things will go wrong since that will only make things more interesting! I can't promise I won't hurt Menna and/or Galen; they both have a tendency to poke their noses where they don't belong, after all. ;)

It makes me so happy you liked the dream scene! I had to rewrite big chunks of it since the first version was rather awkward... And yes, Murdo is the Magpie! I don't think I ever explicitly stated it before, only hinted at it.

Vance has to be one of the most annoying people ever. He's fun to write about but I don't think I'd be able to tolerate him for long periods of time. Murdo's quite right not to trust him, although his dislike for Vance is partially fuelled by the fact that Gry can't stand him.

LOL, not telling! ;) And yes, you'll find out soon enough!

Until next time!

- Emmi

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Review #33, by writeyourheartoutCampfire Stories: Once Upon A Time...

28th December 2014:

What a cute little story! I really enjoyed it and thought it was an interesting choice to write about not only minor characters, but children of minor characters. I don't generally read too many stories that feature minor characters, to be honest, but I really enjoyed this glimpse into the lives of people we really only knew a bit about. I also thought it was really sweet the way you paired off the adults - it's good to see them having survived the war and moved on to being happy and raising families of their own.

The first section of this story was really great because you created an extremely authentic group of kids - always interrupting and interjecting their thoughts while the older people try to be patient... Poor, poor Dylan. hahaha Good on him for trying to incorporate their requests, though. :-p

This part made me chuckle: "Why aren't the unicorns in a field of butterflies?" - "Because it's a campfire story!" - LOL And then the repeat of Alice's "I don't like carrots!" was great as well. ^.^

I also like that while this is mostly a fun, humorous little fic, you added the bit about how even with the war over, danger is still out there. It was a sobering moment in an otherwise lighthearted post-war camping trip.

Small typo: "Stand up and face me, you're no* fooling anyone." - *not

Overall, this was very enjoyable! Good job, guys! ^.^


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!!!
I/we really enjoy writing fun stories about kids interacting with each other and stuff. We enjoy writing it so much, this was the third story (eighteenth chapter) of this type of story, by only the second with a sober moment. I'm glad it didn't take the mood down too much.

Anyways, I just love writing these, and it makes me so glad to hear that people enjoy reading them too.
Thanks for the review!!!

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Review #34, by writeyourheartoutof monsters: Tap, tap, tap.

28th December 2014:
HAPPY (slightly belated) HOT SEAT DAY, EMMI!

Ahh, this was so great! Sinister and kind of creepy and somehow even almost poetic with the repetition of Tap, tap, tap. that you weaved throughout the story! Great choice and really effective.

I love the way this opens and how you set the scene for us. You're always so great with description and imagery and this story is no exception. You really painted a picture of young Tom's surroundings for us in just those first few sentences and it paves the way for the rest of the fic by giving us a solid foundation to imagine him in.

This moment you chose to write about was such a cool one. I've never read a story about the Chamber of Secrets before Harry's time, and it was really awesome to sort of compare the two in my mind. Harry, of course, is sort of forced to figure it out to save Ginny and other Muggleborns, whereas Tom actively hunts it down to unleash the beast within. I also love how it's from the first time the Chamber was opened, as it just offered a really fresh perspective. I can totally imagine this being canon.

You did such a fantastic job of getting into a young Tom Riddle's head. You understand his voice and his thoughts and his justifications and motivations and he felt very authentic here. The way you touch upon his parents and his resentment towards them both for varying reasons was so spot on, and it really lent itself to his actions.

That last line! Ah! So perfect. I think a little chill ran down my spine at the words. It was the perfect way to close the story.

The whole thing, top to bottom, was just really great, Emmi, as always.

Also, in case you're wondering why I'm reviewing this story over the next chapter of your amazing Effortlessly Dead, it's only because I already have plans to review the rest of that guy and figured I shouldn't spend a Hot Seat day on a story I already plan to review! :-p I swear you'll see me over there soon! Sorry for the delay, but holy cow, have I been swamped! Now that Christmas is over, though, I'm finally catching up again! Yay! :-D

Anyway, you're amazing, this is amazing, everything you write is amazing, and don't ever stop. ^.^


Author's Response: Hello Tanya!

Aw, thanks for the compliments! I do my best. :)

It is a very interesting moment since we only really know about the end-result, but not about how what went on in Tom's head before and during he opened the Chamber. It seemed like such an interesting topic that I just had to write about it.

I'm so glad you find my portrayal of Tom to be authentic. I did struggle a bit to keep him in character but I see it really paid off! I had to include a reference to his parents since they are such a driving force behind his actions (whether he likes it or not...).

So happy you like the ending! I'm rather fond of it myself. ;)

Thank you so much for the review and the compliments! I'm looking forward to your next review, whether it is on Effortlessly Dead or one of my other fics!

- Emmi

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Review #35, by writeyourheartoutLying to You: Lying To You

28th December 2014:

This was beautiful. Raw and poignant and painfully honest in its harsh reality. You made me feel so badly for Snape, and as an avid James/Lily shipper, that is a very difficult thing to do. It's just that some of these lines are so open, so pure in their truth, that it catches me by surprise and leaves me nearly breathless. It's just gorgeous writing.

I love that you chose to write this in sort of a first-person/second-person mix (I'm not sure what it's called when the protagonist is referred to as 'I' and they're speaking to someone else referred to as 'You', so forgive my lack of technical terminology), because it felt all the more personal, all the more intimate.

There are so many quotable lines here, and I just have to showcase a couple of my absolute favorites:
- I wish you were lying to him because you're sitting there thinking that for all his posturing and dotage and extravagant claims of love, he'll never love you like I can.
- That's what it is to love you. A lost cause. A curse. A sickness for which there is no cure.

The section in which you talk about the lilies versus the daisies was just fantastic. I love the idea behind Severus sending them not to represent Valentine's Day or to even necessarily try to win her over, but to almost throw it in her face that he knows her better; he knows her favorite flower while James doesn't seem to (or simply doesn't bother to choose it over the pun) and she'd better not forget that. You capture perfectly the way Severus thinks, because that is so something I could see him doing.

And then this idea that Snape loves too powerfully, feels too much, so that it is an obsession rather than something more pure... Gah, so good. You really delved into Snape's mind and showcased him perfectly; he felt so very authentic. Really well done.

A few minor details:

I wish you were doing * because you like the thrill of keeping it a secret. - *missing a word here - maybe 'it'?

How Iíve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you when we were just a pair of oddball *nine years old? - *nine year olds

And yeah, that's everything! I loved this; I really did. You're very talented and I'm very grateful that the Hot Seat brought me to your stories. I'm definitely going to have to check out more of them. :)


Author's Response: Hey Tanya,

Thanks so much for reviewing. I really wanted to get into Snape's psyche here so I'm glad it's come across effectively =)

I will be sure to fix those mistakes as soon as the queue opens. I must have missed them when I was editing. Somehow, no matter how many time I edit something, I always find more mistakes when I next read it. Does this happen to anyone else?

Thanks so much for reviewing. Totally made my day =)


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Review #36, by writeyourheartoutThe Ruins of Hogwarts: Ruins

27th December 2014:
HAPPY (seriously belated...) HOT SEAT DAY, ILIA! :-D

Wow. This was fantastic.

Bodies were laid on the floor, lined up in the center of the room like dominoes. - Gah, what a powerful image.

I love the way you take us back to the days when the Great Hall was a beautiful, magical safe-haven of a room, only to compare it to the devastating mess it is now. You struck up a perfect balance between then and now, so that the wreck and ruin hit even harder. This line in particular really lays into that terrible change: Each morning he drank out of a pewter goblet and ate with ornate silverware. The poise necessary for this room was now buried in the dust, replaced with a raw sense of survival. - Really well done. It makes everything all the more poignant and heartbreaking.

Your descriptions are just phenomenal. I can see it all so clearly through your eyes. I'd give specific examples of this, but it's showcased stunningly throughout the entire piece. I think the best I could do for you is to copy and paste the entire story into the review and say, THAT PART THERE! :-p

Omg. This whole Lucy/Christopher section is just so terribly upsetting. I love that you chose to feature two people who we know nothing about - who are just names to Harry and to us readers - and then created this whole potential great love story they might have had, only to remind us of what most likely happened to them both in reality. I love how they meant nothing to me before, but now you've made me feel so strongly for them, for their future, for their happiness. I hope Harry's wrong and they managed to survive...

Speaking of Harry: Writing him has to be one of the most difficult things to do, and I have actively avoided doing such a thing for that very reason, but you handle him so well. You understand who he is and how he thinks and how he feels, and it makes for a terrific and authentic read. I'm so glad you chose this moment to explore, as well, as we never really get this sort of immediate afterthought in the books once he defeats Voldemort. It's both wonderful and terrible to see it expanded upon, and you did a fantastic job at making it believable.

Lastly, I'm not a big fan of Harry/Ginny, as I was really rooting for Harry/Luna after book five's ending and I've also never been a big fan of Ginny, BUT I really love the way you wrote them together. I think you gave them more weight and meaning as a couple than I ever felt while reading the books. And the way that you spoke of them starting over as two broken people who would simply try to be okay together was so beautiful.

I thoroughly enjoyed this, Ilia. It was deep and powerful and sad, but still hopeful right at the end with that, "I will be." I'm very glad the Hot Seat brought me here, and I will definitely have to make time to read through more of your stories. Really well done.

Tanya :)

Author's Response: Tanya! Wow, how do I even begin to respond to this amazing review? Thank you!

I'm so glad you like this story. This one was tough to write because there was SO much going on beneath the surface, because of all that was right in front of Harry, you know?

This story features how I feel about the Titanic--the ship was so beautiful and ornate, and everyone on the ship was so happy to be there. They didn't suspect anything and they shouldn't have! And then for that amazing ship to meet such a rough, cruel end seemed like such an unbelievable juxtaposition. I wanted to bring that sensation into this story because I think that's how many of the students would feel, especially Harry who had such strong feelings of home for Hogwarts.

It seriously means the universe to me that you commented on my descriptions. I have been struggling with that recently because I have been leaning toward writing plays and screenplays, which are essentially void of description =P So it was tough for me to get back into the prose style, so I was very happy to see that you enjoyed my descriptive writing here. Thank you!

I'm glad you like the Christopher/Lucy scene! You got exactly what I was hoping the readers would get, so I can't really ask for anything more. That makes me so happy! Thank you!

Wow, it is amazing that you think my writing of Harry is good. I definitely think he is a very interesting character, especially after he defeats Voldemort, so I wanted to explore the moment after. I'm so happy you think it is good!

Secret: I HATE Harry/Ginny! =P I wanted to write this scene of them to challenge myself, and also to expand on the Christopher/Lucy storyline I'd created. I actually can't even get my head around such an amazing compliment: "I think you gave them more weight and meaning as a couple than I ever felt while reading the books." Thank you so much.

Thank you so so much for this incredible review. It totally made my WEEK! You are so sweet, and I really appreciate your feedback.

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Review #37, by writeyourheartout"Love you Teddy": "Love you too Lil"

27th December 2014:
Hello, Emz, and HAPPY (super duper belated) HOT SEAT DAY!!! :-D

This was so sweet! I absolutely adore the bullying theme you wrote about, and how Lily is nervous because of Teddy's experiences with bullying in the past. Instead of allowing those hard times to turn him bitter or resentful, however, Teddy uses his troubled past to remind Lily that no matter what, he'll be there for her and things will be okay.

I also love the song choice you used. It fit the story perfectly. And the way you divided up the parts was really well done; the placements of each song snippet was clearly thought out and made a real impact.

It made me so sad when it came out that Teddy once believed his parents had abandoned him, rather than they had died fighting a battle to save his and others lives and futures. Thank goodness he understands the truth now! And good on Lily for making sure he knew better! *high fives Lily* ^.^

"It sometimes changes due to mood, (either period or semi-colon here, not comma) I still haven't quite got a handle on it's (its, not it's) change when I get into" - This sentence/paragraph ends very oddly here, and so I think you're missing a whole section of this, maybe? It feels very much like an incomplete thought, and there's no punctuation either, so I'm assuming something accidentally got deleted when you posted.

Also, I noticed a lot of little technical errors - most specifically in regards to grammar and punctuation. It ends up disrupting the flow of the story and making it read a bit choppier than it otherwise would. You have such a touching story on your hands, but it's a bit compromised by the lack of finesse, so I would consider a nit-picky edit or even a beta, if you feel those things aren't your strong suit. I think the quality of the story would exponentially increase with just a small comb over of the fine details!

Otherwise, this was super enjoyable! Again, I love the topic you tackled and I love your version of Teddy and Lily and how sweet they are; how willing to protect the other they are and keep one another from hurting. Well done, Emz!


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Review #38, by writeyourheartoutEvent Three - The Elder Song : The Elder Song

24th December 2014:
HAPPY (really quite belated) HOT SEAT DAY, KYLE!!! :-D

What a great story! I really enjoyed it! I've never read a fic that focused on Rolf before, but I really found myself drawn to your version of him! The way you described his love and connection to being outdoors and discovering nature and the world was so vivid and set up a really great background for him. Also, I can totally see Luna ending up with him just based on the small insight provided by you in this short one-shot. You really captured a lot of who he is in just a small amount of time. Kudos, dude; that's a hard thing to pull off. ^.^

I have to say it: I don't know if J.K. Rowling ever actually stated Rolf's real House anywhere, but I love that he's in Hufflepuff (of course)! ^.^

I love this part here: "We may wave our wands, and cast fancy spells, but true magic lies in our hearts. Music is powerful magic Rolf. For chords of music can bring a man to tears, and bring happiness to many people. Remember that my boy, with music in your heart, the angels will accept you with arms wide open." - Such a beautiful sentiment! And I love that you chose to include Newt Scamander in the story as well with this small moment. It was really lovely. And then this bit here that follows shortly after: It was a slow song, with drifting chords. Some may call it a lullaby, but it is more than that. While it does make you feel a sense of calmness, something in the melody beckons you to be more alert of things around you. Like the world is awakening from its deep slumber, and calling for your attention. - Love this as well! You speak so beautifully about music; it really moves me. :)

And then the change hits! The tone of the piece becomes suddenly very tense and suspenseful! I think you handled that really well by introducing those small changes to the world around him - the fire with no heat, the silenced crickets, etc. And then this lady-creature thing! Ah! Just like Rolf, I can't tell if she/it is dangerous or not! But I'm definitely feeling on edge... *must get answers* *keeps reading*

Oh, yay! She/it is good! And I just have to say that this story is unraveling in such a cool way. I mean, the pipe he played called her to him, and he's all pure of heart, and his grandfather mentioned these creatures earlier in that beautiful speech I quoted, and with every new reveal and connection to the first half of the story, I get all excited to see it piecing together! Eep, this is so great!

I have to ask: Did you create this magical creature yourself?? It's so cool. If you did, that's absolutely amazing. And if you didn't, well, you still handled writing it in an awesome manner.

I just love the dialogue of this piece! The exchanges between Rolf and Adarmam are so... poetic, almost. I really like how the ending section was almost entirely dialogue, because you write it so well.

There are some little errors here and there, and I just picked out a few below:

Nestled in a grove of particular* ancient oaks alongside a small lake, was a camp. - *particularly

Even then, the cozy Hufflepuff Common Room,* and the vast grounds where** enough to suffice for his affinity for nature. -*no comma needed here, **were, not where

"Yes, but though a wizard you may be. You are still a creature of flesh and blood, and you wield with you the power of spell craft." - The structure of this sentence is just a little wonky. I would consider changing it to: "Yes. But though a wizard you may be, you are still a creature of flesh and blood, and you wield with you the power of spell craft." - There are a handful of other places where your sentence structure is just a bit off as well, so that it disrupts the otherwise gorgeous flow of this piece. I punctuation and sentence structure - like so many of us - are your weaknesses. Just something to think about and maybe concentrate on as you continue to grow as a writer, is all! ^.^

"For while we live off of hope;* hope cannot survive without trust." - *comma, not semi-colon

Minor little errors and typo's aside, this really was a wonderful story. Creative and original and just so, so lovely. The tale honestly left me with a sense of wonder when it ended. I'm really glad the Hot Seat brought me to it. Keep up the great work! :)

Tanya ^.^

Author's Response: Hey Tanya!
Thanks for the review!
I think this is only the second time I have written a non- second gen character based story. and I loved to write Rolf.

I don't think she stated it either, but since his grandfather and presumibly father (if their family follows the thing where family ends up in the same house) I can really see him being part of the Puffs.

I love music, and I honestly think that music is one of the closest things us muggles can call using magic. :)

I did invent them :) I really wanted to describe angels as if they were real. and I loved how they turned out. And she is good! though not always, the legends I did mention were slightly true. As I think if you were to hear something so pure, and not be pure yourself, you would always want to hear it again and would eventually drive you mad.

Thanks for the Grammar help :p I'm still at war with my Anti-Grammatical personality.

Thanks again Tanya! Glad you enjoyed :)
Merry Christmas!

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Review #39, by writeyourheartoutEvent Horizon: Infinity.

22nd December 2014:
HAPPY *cough cough belated cough* HOT SEAT DAY, TAWI!!! :-D


I need to apologize now, because this is going to be a shorter review than I normally leave, merely because I don't know what to say. I don't know how to put into words how stunningly this was written. I honestly think the biggest justice I could do for this story is to copy and paste the entire thing into this review and yell, THIS WAS MY FAVORITE PART. Because my goodness, from start to finish, it was just phenomenal. Every sentence is a poem unto itself; every word is carefully chosen and placed and given weight and significance. The imagery is to die for, the delicacy, the beauty, the... gods, everything.

That's the problem with this review, is that it's always going to come back to me saying that everything was perfect, everything was the best moment, everything makes me so jealous of your ability to write so gorgeously.

This is art. It's so pretty. It's like a poem and music and a painting somehow all co-existing within a story, and there's probably fireworks and rain and ice cream and fireflies and sunsets all happening at once, and nothing makes sense, but nobody cares because everything is so wonderful all at the same time that it's just surreal and... I don't even know what I'm saying. You've blown me away such a ridiculous amount that my brain has stopped forming logical thoughts. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

Time is slow in your arms. It is the infinity I think of when I dream of demons. - If I have to choose, this might be my favorite of all the favorite moments. I mean, my heart just clenched in my chest when I read it; I want to gasp at the beautiful sentiment and at the simplicity in which it's stated compared to the more complex lines. Such a poignant moment, it just stays with you. The whole thing stays with you, if I'm honest.

This is going to sound terrible, but I am so happy I found this small oversight here, because it makes me feel slightly better about myself knowing you are not in fact perfect: I rise to hold *it him ** my arms. - *remove 'it', **add 'in' - TAWI HAS A TINY FLAW EVERYBODY! SHE IS A MERE MORTAL LIKE THE REST OF US! ;)

...was that just horrible of me? hahaha Sorry, the bitter and jealous monster on my shoulder gets out of control when I read such impressive work. :-p

Seriously, I don't know what else to say. This is brilliant. You are brilliant. Stahp being so amazing at everything!

Tanya ^.^

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Review #40, by writeyourheartoutAlbus Potter and Slytherin's Office: The Rising Wizard

20th December 2014:
HAPPY (slightly belated) HOT SEAT DAY, FELLOW PUFF!!! ^.^

I love the way this begins, with such a strong setting of normalcy. It's actually a bit reminiscent of the first HP book! Did you do that on purpose? Either way, I thought it was a very clever way to begin the story!

And then, of course, we're introduced to the real scene beneath this mask of oh-so-ordinary, with these two seemingly invisible men dressed in all black and clearly up to something... I love the way you build them up, slowly, secretly, unveiling only small bits of information about their appearance and demeanor, but holding off on the reason they're doing whatever it is that they're doing! It really creates an excellent sense of suspense and tension and build up.

OMG. Wow. I was not expecting the easy, simple, spur-of-the-moment murder of an entire group of children! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY SO EVIL?! O_O

Oh man. This exchange here: After a long pause, the elder man broke the silence by saying, "That was quite unnecessary." - The younger man replied, "True. But I wanted to try out the new mass- killing curse." - Gah! So casual in their cruelness! And I was wondering what spell could take ten people out at once, and wow... A new mass-killing curse? Sheesh. You've really created some seriously intense bad guys, which is brilliant for a story like this. AND THEN THE BUNNY. And the reference to Tom? And actually calling him Tom? I assume they're referring to Voldemort... And this totally nonchalant conversation about not understanding why more people don't just murder people to let off a bit of steam? Crazy. They're crazy.

I have to admit, I very badly want to know who exactly these two people are. What was the older man's connection to Voldemort back when he was still just Tom? Is Zac a canon character from the books - possibly even Zacharias Smith? Someone you thought was at least mostly decent, but was actually evil? He was a Puff! Omg, if it's him, that would be crazy. haha

The way they idolize Tom and aim to both follow his lead and then become greater than he was is just bananas. They're so twisted. And just like Voldie, they're making plans to kill a Potter child at just eleven! I hope Albus does prove to be as invincible as Harry sometimes seemed to be. This line especially makes me worry for him, though: "Tom's big mistake was that he was constantly underestimating Harry Potter." - Eep! Not to mention, Albus doesn't have a mother's love/sacrifice to protect him, or - presumably - a shared connection that helped protect Harry from Voldemort, which makes him seem like a much easier target. I'm not a huge Next Gen fan, but I really do have a sweet spot for Albus, and I sincerely hope he survives whatever these two have planned for him!

Anyway, this was a really good first chapter. You've done a brilliant job at creating a new threat to the Next Generation with these two, and I'm already strongly rooting for Albus! Needless to say, I am certainly intrigued! Very well done! :)


Author's Response: No, I didn't do the "normalacy" scene because of the first HP book... But now that you point it out, I can definitely see some allusions! It was my subconscious mind. ;)

Writing suspense if fun. *evil grin*

So first question: Who are they? Alas, the first question you ask I cannot answer, unless you'd prefer a lie. (THAT little quote was on purpose. And I apologize if the wording is slightly off; I did it from memory.) Now onto the next question of why they are evil. I'd have to give you a full biography of each of them for you to understand that. I actually do have a full biography of them in my head, incidently. But that won't be shared for a long, long time.

Yes, the bunny died. I didn't care at all when I wrote that death. Does that make me a monster?

Yay! Crazy people! *claps hands* Okay, they might have gotten inspiration from me...

How dare you accuse a puff of being a dark wizard! *gasp* Hufflepuff doesn't have dark wizards! It's okay, you have good reason for being suspicious of Smith...

Zac is the crazy idolizer of Tom. The older fellow is more of a mentor-like person.

Hooray for team Albus! I'm rooting for Albus as well; I hope he doesn't die! Well, since I'm writing the story, I guess I decide what happens. Yeah, Albus doesn't have any superpowers- but we didn't know Harry had any during his first year, did we?

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #41, by writeyourheartoutLike Never Before: Prologue

19th December 2014:

As soon as I saw the title and the lyrics on the banner, I knew I had to read this story. I adore Songbird by Fleetwood Mac. It is so ridiculously gorgeous and poignant and heartbreakingly lovely, and I just had to see what sort of story it influenced!

And... wow. This was just phenomenal. I sincerely adored it. It's got a fairy-tale sort of feel to it, which I absolutely love, and I'm so intrigued by it all that I must insist you bring this story back to life immediately! ;) Seriously, though, this chapter alone has me hooked, even though I see you haven't updated since 2012. I hope that doesn't mean the story is abandoned! It's so, so great, and I hope this review might reignite the spark on this story! There is all the potential in the world here to create an incredible novella, and I sincerely hope you'll continue! Either way, I am definitely favoriting this. ^.^

Okay, enough of me semi-begging you for an update! Let me actually review the story more! :-p

I love how this was reminiscent of the Peverell brothers tale without actually being very much like their story at all. It honestly sounds like a story that belongs in The Tales of Beedle the Bard!

I also love the description of each of the brothers. The details were so specific and each brother was so distinct, and the way you wrote about said distinctions was so well done. Like... just so pretty! The writing in this is pretty! I don't know how else to describe it! haha This line in particular really stood out to me: He preferred academic pursuits over those of a warrior, and did his fighting with words rather than swords or even wands. - I mean, how could any person who writes not take pause at the power of that sentence? It's brilliant.

The third brother definitely stands out most of all, though. As fantastic as the first two seem in all their glory, the third brother is immediately the one you want to root for. He's the underdog, with his quiet demeanor and overlooked potential, and that's exactly the sort of person whose progress you want to follow in a story. I really hope this gets an update soon, because I'm so excited to see how his story plays out, both in his individual growth and with his upcoming relationship with the girl. And then of course that line about him having some sort of defining quality that you only allude to and don't reveal yet just has me so ridiculously intrigued! I must know what it is! hahaha

I don't know what else to say! This was just a really beautifully written, incredibly compelling prologue, and I am not above begging for an update. Please don't break my heart and tell me you've given up on this guy! I truly mean it when I say it has the potential to be one of the most phenomenal stories on this site. It has such a distinct voice and I know that must be hard to tap into sometimes, but I hope you and your Muse are able to pull a new chapter out of this sometime! Either way, congratulations on such a fabulous start, Maggie. I'm so glad the Hot Seat brought me here. :)


Author's Response: HI TANYA!! Welcome to Maggieland, so glad to have you! I'm so happy you picked this story to review, because now you've inspired me to get back to work on it! I do have plans to continue. It just got pushed to the back burner :( But I'm really happy you enjoyed this first chapter!

You know, I saw that banner in the Up For Grabs section at tda, and as soon as I saw it I knew I had to have it for this story. Another reason I feel pretty guilty about letting it slip through the cracks for so long. But adlakfewjoaf, I'm just so floored that you were drawn in and that you liked the chapter! I wanted this prologue to feel like a legend or a fairy tale, so I LOVE that you mentioned Tales of Beedle the Bard! That's exactly the feel I was going for :)

I knew I wanted this chapter to be short, so I worked pretty hard at fleshing each brother out as fully as possible in just a few words. I'm glad you liked them! And oh goodness, it makes me so happy to hear that you like the style. Pretty writing is a great compliment :)

Yes, the third brother! I have big plans for him, even though I've let him gather dust for so long. I'm happy that you would want to read a story about him, because he does have a journey ahead :)

I have definitely not given up on this story, and this review has kickstarted my motivation to work on it! Thank you so so much, Tanya. Your kind words have absolutely made my day!! :)


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Review #42, by writeyourheartoutKeeping Secrets: After the Battle

18th December 2014:

Ugh, what a sad opening chapter! Why was there no warning of the Fred feels that would happen?! Bad Jayde!

hahaha I tease, I tease. Really, though, as someone still in denial of Fred's death (outside of writing it myself, because I am a walking contradiction), this chapter really hits hard. I liked seeing this from Charlie's POV, though. Normally I see stories about the aftermath of losing Fred from George's POV - and once from Percy's - but I've never read one based around Charlie's reaction, and it was really emotional and opens up the fact that while George probably feels it the most, the rest of the family is heartbroken as well, and that counts double for Charlie, I think, seeing as he's really the least featured of the Weasley kids in the books.

I really liked the relationship you created between Charlie and Bill. Being the two oldest, it makes a lot of sense that they would be close and that they would understand each other the way we see them do here.

This part here just about killed me: Bill had always known how to comfort Charlie, and Charlie knew that Bill would be able to comfort him now... but Charlie didn't want to be comforted. A part of Charlie somewhere deep inside wanted to keep suffering in silence, to continue punishing himself with seclusion and guilt. - Gah, that's so, so sad and painful and raw and true. Survivor's Guilt is a very real thing, and it's reflected perfectly here. It's so hard to be the one who's left behind with nothing but these 'If only...' scenario's running through your head. You always think if you'd done one little thing differently, then things would have ended up differently, and that turns into blaming yourself. It's a deep, dark hole to dig yourself into, and I hope to see in later chapters that Charlie doesn't dig himself too much deeper into that abyss, because it is hard to crawl out of. Poor guy. :(

Ah, and then this line! Looking into the eyes of Ron, Percy, and Ginny would only cause him to wonder if they realized, as he did, that Fred's death was entirely his fault. - No, Charlie! It's not your fault! Gah! I just want to grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him! And that feeling of wondering if other people might blame you, too... Oi vey. You better be nicer to him later in the story, is all I have to say! ;)

The ending line was really powerful. That apology really makes an impact and hits you right in the feels. It was an excellent way to end the chapter.

I really enjoyed this, Jayde! I think it's a great, albeit terribly sad and heavy, opening chapter! I look forward to seeing where it goes from here! Good job! ^.^


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Review #43, by writeyourheartoutSeized: Prologue

18th December 2014:
Well, seeing as I have so sporadically reviewed this fic in the past, it's about time I go back to the beginning and start filling in the blanks!

Oh, and also... HAPPY (slightly belated) HOT SEAT DAY, DEE!!! :-D

I love that opening line: They came in the evening. - It really packs a punch and I remember when I first starting reading this story how that line immediately pulled me in then and still does today.

The pace of this chapter is so spot on. I love the action-packed tension and how mysterious it all is. You give us the bare minimum, so that we have no real idea about what the heck is going on, but are still desperate to know what it all means! It's the perfect balance and it's why I started reading and loving this story in the first place. I just needed to know what happened next! ^.^

Ah! It's so crazy coming back to the beginning of this story after having read your most recent chapter! But I love how I still actually have questions about what some of this stuff means!

And on that note...

WARNING: Some of this upcoming section's speculation may have already been answered or explained or whatever and I'm just an idiot with a poor memory who has forgotten future details, so bear with me if I'm talking nonsense! ;)

She sat up in her seat and took a deep breath in, thinking of the man she loved and how it was entirely his fault that she was in the situation. - The man she loved... That can't be Draco, can it? I wonder who this is referring to, then! There are actually a lot of small things in this chapter that I look forward to seeing the truth unravel around, like this: They had come for her, as they warned they would and trying to escape from them would be impossible. Her best hope was to show no signs of futile resistance and pray that the life she had worked so hard for would not be taken from her. - She still sounds so much like a victim even though we now know it was her plan all along! Eep! How can I have read every posted chapter so far and still be so lost?! LOL I seriously look forward to the next few chapters, in which I assume we'll be getting some explanations that show the double meaning of these words and how they don't apply at all the way you think they do when you first read it (if that made any sense... haha)!

He chucked* manically before shouting, "She's here!" - *chuckled

Anyway, this is just a short little intro chapter, so I don't have much more to say about it other than I loved it, I love what follows it, and I will try to be back with new reviews as soon as possible! *hugs*


Author's Response: Tanya♥

I have THREE lovely reviews from you sitting in my unanswered reviews and it's about time I fixed that!

How you manage to leave such a lovely long review on this barely-even-counts-as-a-chapter is beyond me! You're the best. Siriusly.

Bare minimum is definitely what I was going for in this chapter, this is the first mystery I've written and I was a little worried I've overdone it with the giving nothing away. It's a relief you don't agree!

As for your questions, there are definitely answers coming in the next few chapters. Astoria's side of things should clear it up for you ;)

Ah, the dreaded typos, I need tips from you about how to be so scrutinous with editing :p

I'm so glad you came back to this story, your reviews are giving me the much needed kick up the rear end I needed to start writring the next chapter.Thank you a million and one times for this gorgeous review ♥

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Review #44, by writeyourheartoutSeven--Four--One--Nine--Eight--Two (Am I a Good Man?): Chapter 1

16th December 2014:

This was really great! I've never read a story from Barty Crouch Sr's perspective before, and I really loved it! I always forget how exceedingly complicated some of these minor character's are, and this one-shot did a really wonderful job at showcasing such a crazy part of Barty and his family's life in so much more detail than we get in the books!

That opening scene was set up really well, and your use of the thunder and the rain to build up the suspense and tension was extremely effective. I felt like something awful was going to happen, and it kept me right on the edge of my seat! Very cool. ^.^

The Winky flashback was one of my favorites. I was so happy to see you feature her in the story, and it really made me sad all over again thinking of how much she adored that family and how terribly she was treated in the end; cast aside over something that was not at all her fault. Poor thing. Seeing her actually in their home, taking care of them, just makes it hit home that much harder.

I just adore this line: The thunder seemed intent on guiding him along down this proverbial road - I love the way the thunder moves the story along, almost as if it's forcing him to think back on all of these moments - devastating though many of them are.

The Barty Jr flashback was another favorite of mine. Seeing him as an innocent child, excitable and kind, was such a stark contrast to who he grows up to be, and it really emphasizes just how much a person can be influenced by the people, situations, and opportunities around them. I also love that during this flashback, Barty Sr struggles with the idea of his son having potentially murdered someone. That's such a fatherly internal battle to be having - knowing that your son is evil and has done terrible things, and still wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, still wanting to hope for the best in them.

This second Winky scene was just fantastic! Your version of her felt so spot on. And when he asks her if he's a good man, I just love how it wraps around to the title, too. Oh, and then he's nice to her and treats her like more than just a servant, and she's so grateful! Gah! Great scene. ^.^

The ending was really awesome, as well. That internal struggle was so palpable, and you actually made me feel for a character I didn't really like at all in the books (which is funny, seeing as in your Author's Note you don't seem to like him either)! The whole story was very intense and I thoroughly enjoyed it, top to bottom!

My only bit of criticism is that there seems to be a handful of little technical issues - those nitpicky details that even a week's worth of editing can still mean you don't find them all. (Believe me, as an extreme over-editor who always finds mistakes after posting, I understand this all too well. :-p)

Here are a few examples:

- He decided to wait a* for a few moments to see if it was going to do that again but ** nothing but rain as it continued to fall. - *Stray 'a', **I think you're missing the word 'heard' here
- What could this one could* possibly be about? - *Stray 'could'
- "Unrelenting.*" his wife finished with a grin. - *comma, not period
- He reached up and ran a hand along the edge of the box feeling its'* smoothness. - *No apostrophe
- He reached in to lift it gently from its'* pillow... - *No apostrophe

Also, you seem to start a lot of your sentences with the same few words so that it becomes just a bit repetitive in places. For example: He shook his head again as he threw the scroll down. He rested his elbows on the desk and ran his hands through his hair. He glanced up toward the date on the parchment: - All three sentences in this paragraph begin with the word He. This is something I used to struggle a lot with, especially when writing in first person, where every sentence seemed to start with 'I'. It's just one of those habitual writing things, but you can easily break it! Variety is the spice of life, and I think your already great story would be escalated to a whole other level with just a little tweaking!

Anyway, I know these are the tiny things that seem so insignificant, but can actually make a huge difference in quality and flow of a story by being tidied up, so just something to keep in mind should you ever feel like doing a quick edit! But, again, the story was still overall really fantastic and I'm so glad the Hot Seat brought me to your story! Really well done, Karen! :)


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Review #45, by writeyourheartoutUpping The Ante: Immortal

15th December 2014:

Okay, so I was right about the Alex thing! EXCEPT OH MY GOD IT WAS SO UPSETTING SO QUICKLY. POOR ALEX! HOW COULD YOU, ALEXANDRA/LO! *pets Alex* Ugh.

Although, having said that... I'm not as attached to the idea of Alex/Alexandra as I was last chapter. In fact, I've actually been swayed back to the side of being glad they're just friends. I hope this kiss doesn't ruin things for their friendship, though! I mean, I've been in Alexandra's shoes before with my best friend, and things changed a lot after that for us, and I don't want to see it happen to these guys too! Eep! I still love Alex as a character and I want him to be happy! I hope he gets over this and finds a new girl to love even more... PROMISE ME YOU'LL GIVE HIM A NEW GIRL AT SOME POINT! :-p

Okay, moving away from my slight obsession with the well-being of Alex...

Wow, a lot of crazy stuff happens this chapter! Sirius is such a little stalker with that map (but who am I kidding, wouldn't we all be? :-p), and I've decided that he seems to genuinely care about Alexandra. I'd love it if at some point in a future chapter we could hear about the extent of their relationship before this story began. Were they friends? Acquaintances? Competitors? I think a little more background info would really push me entirely onboard the Sirius/Alexandra ship. *lets go of Alex/Alexandra dream* ;)

Omg, Frank! No! That's so upsetting. And wow, did it come at a crazy moment, just after the almost kiss and the awful burn. That room was just total chaos. I love that you are able to handle scenes like that with such ease, though. Big scenes in which a lot of things happen are the types that I always feel like I'll drop the ball on (which is why I don't think I have any posted yet...), but you juggle all of the chaos with ease and I never lose track of what's happening, nor does the scene lose its pace. TEACH ME YOUR WAYS. (Seriously, I have a war scene coming up in Lying Josephine and I have no idea what I'm doing. Save me.)

As devastating as Frank's news is, I love the choice you made to include it - particularly because it brought a whole new layer to this story by including the war. More than that, I love the paragraph that talks about how Frank's father's death was the first pureblood life to be lost and the fear that idea seemed to instill in everyone. It's moments like that which remind you of how no one is safe during this time.

*pointedly ignores the fact that Hufflepuff is always labelled as the House with the laughable Quidditch team, but only because Amos Diggory is on the team and he was pretty awful, so I'm okay with him losing* :-p

I love the description and small details in this paragraph: The air was brisk as it usually was in November. Small patches of frost crunched under our feet. The beater's bat in my hand was cold, as was my Shooting Star, and I was glad for the fingerless gloves I had that offered some protection from the winter air. - So lovely. :)

So much awkward in the changing room after the game. Poor Alex. MAKE HIM HAPPY AGAIN, LO! hehehe

The ending was so sad, but really well done. I think Dumebledore's speech was perfectly in character, and his words were really moving and powerful. That last line about Charlie was a great way to finish the chapter off, as well - really gripping to put into perspective how close to home these attacks are, having to worry about your closest friends and their safety. I wonder if the attack on Hogsmeade will throw a wrench in the plans of Sirius and Alexandra's date? (I liked seeing the slightly more vulnerable side of Sirius when he asked her out, by the way. ^.^)

And now for another round of nitpicky thingies! :-p

But I couldn't shake one face from my mind as *I hard as I tried to. - *Stray I

(bloody hell* he was a phenomenal keeper!) - *comma

"No* don't be sorry." - *comma

...and little Tom seemed *to distressed **too tie up his gear properly. - *too, **to

And that's everything! Another great chapter, Lo! I really love that this story focuses on a wide spectrum of things; it makes it all the more enjoyable. And I do insist that you update soon. ;) Keep up the great writing! :-D


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Review #46, by writeyourheartoutUpping The Ante: Upping The Ante

15th December 2014:
FIRST OF ALL: I definitely referred to Alexandra as Alexandria all of my last review, so my sincerest apologies for that! I vote we blame it on the late hour of my reviewing. :-p

Anyway, onto the actual chapter review! Yay!

Ahahaha! A true Ravenclaw, she is! I was confused at first as to her tactic, but when Alex said, "Can't touch your opponent's glass," I was like OH SNAP. That was a great moment.

I can't tell if Alex has feelings for Alexandra or not. There was mention in chapter two, I think it was, of a Daisy (I think?) that Alex seemed to maybe have a crush on, but sometimes he acts like maybe it's Alexandra he actually has feelings for... *ponders* Either way, I quite like that I can't tell. Always fun to have a bit of mystery in a story! ^.^

Speaking of Alex, I'm really loving his character. He's incredibly three dimensional and I think you have an exceptional grasp on who he is as a person. And I love when we get to see these perfectly Ravenclaw moments pop up, like when he talks about the science behind alcohol and its effects on the body. And is it weird that I love the fact he plans to become an Investigative Coroner? hahaha He's quickly becoming one of my favorite characters, I must admit. Of course, I do have to wonder how he plans to be around dead bodies if he's so afraid of blood... But the leech incident was pretty adorable. Have I mentioned already how much I like Alex's character? :-p

I love the way you described the potion-making. The details here were really fantastic, and the decision to use so many terms and objects that us Muggles are actually somewhat familiar with was great, too (though, arguably not the most canon, but it doesn't bother me at all, so there!). I think describing events and activities is your strong suit - you write those scenes flawlessly, and I'm totally jealous, cause they aren't my forte at all.

Bahaha! The Shrinking Solution on Snape's nose! Too perfect. Imagery is a beautiful thing, is it not? hehehe

OMG SHE KISSED ALEX?!?! Ah! I feel so torn! Cause, I'm going to be honest with you, I currently much prefer Alex to Sirius. Sirius is a little... smarmy so far. He's all rehearsed lines and arrogance and charm and not a substantial, true, honest person yet. But Alex is awesome - as I've mentioned (a lot) earlier, and now I'm sad, cause they're of course not going to last! Also, because it's now past midnight and I have to go to bed before knowing what results of this kiss! Quite possibly nothing at all, cause maybe my earlier inkling of Alex having feelings for Alexandria was just you being a tricky author... I WANT TO KNOW BUT I MUST SLEEP CAUSE WORK IN THE MORNING. But I will be back after work for your final review! ^.^

Some more nitpicky details before I go:

"I was an idiot last night," I groaned, my head pounding from the million little hammers that seemed to be hitting it. - Alex, who sat across from me, smiled. "Yes, you are*..." - *were

"It'll be okay. Just get back quickly or I'll flaw* you because I am not botching this potion." - *Flaw doesn't seem to work here, but I'm not sure what you meant to say, either. Flay, maybe?

Anyway, I'm seriously enjoying this story, Lo. I can't wait to see what happens next. Damn you, responsible adulthood! *shakes fist*

See you soon,
Tanya ^.^

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Review #47, by writeyourheartoutUpping The Ante: Live A Little

15th December 2014:
'lo, Lo! (Do people do that to you all the time? hahaha) I'm just gonna jump right into this review! ^.^

"We need to start a Charms club," I said as I burst into my dormitory. - Hahahaha! Omg, that is the perfect line to start this chapter after the way the previous one ended! I legitimately laughed out loud at this. Too funny.

Omg, this entire first section was just brilliant. I have to tell you, as someone who is in love with Remus Lupin, the girl talk surrounding him had me giggling so hard. I swear to God, that was such a realistic scene, I felt like I was right there with them freaking out over this adorable boy. Eep! I love him so much. And even though we've only had a glimpse of Remus' character thus far, I am loving your version already. ^.^ Oh, and the way the ending couple of lines looped back around to the Charms Club thing made me chuckle as well. Such a great opening section to this chapter.

I love that you introduced Amos Diggory as the boy Alexandria is first interested in. I mean, this is obviously a Sirius/OC fic, but I love that so far their interactions have been pretty mild. He seems like maybe he's interested in her, but he might just be a flirt at this point? It's hard to say - which I like! - whereas she hasn't shown any actual interest in him, especially compared to how quickly she was taken with Amos. I love that choice, because it adds such a great layer to this story that a lot of Sirius/OC's don't include - they tend to be completely Sirius-centric - and throwing Amos in adds believability and a fun subplot, even if Amos doesn't come back into the picture after his little face-sucking incident. haha

The friendship dynamics you've created are really great. I'm loving all of your OC's and how they're each distinct as individuals, but still make sense as a singular unit. In only three chapters, you've introduce a lot of new characters, and have somehow managed to make me care about them all. I think that takes exceptional talent to pull off, so some serious kudos to you.

Hahahaha! Can we talk about how much I LOVE that you made McGonagall a former bombshell? I can totally see it. :-p

You do a fantastic job at writing the action of a Quidditch game. By far one of the best telling's I've read, to be honest. You know how to highlight the right information so that we understand what's happening, while still keeping a quick pace to the action and building up the final moments so that I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen. And I felt the excitement that Alexandria and the others felt too at Gryffindor's win. Really wonderfully done, Lo.

EXCUSE ME WHILE I SQUEE MORE ABOUT REMUS. (Charlie is so lucky. Ugh. :-p)

I love the way this chapter ended. The whole section was great, but those last lines were an absolutely perfect way to leave it. And I have to admit, I am super excited to see what happens next chapter, because I'm taking an educated guess and thinking that maybe Alexandria's first foray into living a little may hold some fun consequences. hehehe

A few nitpicky little details:

"What did you talk about in the library,"* I asked, leaning forward on my knees. - Kendra** shrugged. "School stuff mostly..." - I think *here you want a question mark rather than a comma. And **here, did you mean Charlie? It makes it sound like Kendra is the one who was talking to Remus in the library, not Charlie. I was confused a bit about who it was that got asked out after that sentence, is all. Hope that makes sense... :-p

For years, it had been a back and forth between the two of them of awkward sexual tension. - This sentence is just a little wonky.

Red and green raced around the pitch and it was just barely possibly* to see Black as he zipped about on his Nimbus. Even Thomas began** enraptured with the Gryffindor beater's new broom. - *possible, **became

Anyway, I'm truly loving this so far. I sincerely look forward to seeing how this story continues to unravel! I'm gonna have to add this to my list of favorites, too, cause I am invested! Great job so far, Lo! Yay! :-D


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Review #48, by writeyourheartoutlow tide: a meditation

14th December 2014:

Okay, so, I have to admit, I've been actively avoiding reading this story for a long time now. It's just that I love your comedic writing so, so much, and I know you're going to be amazing at serious fics too because you're awesome like that, but this story clearly deals with Fred's death, and... yeah, it may sound hypocritical considering my novel, but outside of Lying Josephine, I'm still very much in denial over Fred's death! LOL But I'm finally going to bite the bullet and read this story, so here we go...

*some amount of time later*


That was really beautiful. I mean really, really beautiful. *is definitely not teary-eyed right now* *sniffs*

I love how - what's the word I'm even looking for? - easy it read. What I mean by that is it was obviously very sad and a difficult moment to portray, but none of it was forced, none of it felt tortured; it was written in a simple way that didn't tell the reader exactly how George was feeling about the loss of Fred, but still made us feel that loss just by his breathing in and out, by his decision not to join in on the castle building, by these small moments of thought and action that were a reflection of his feelings and built the emotion for us readers without telling us about it. I love that.

Your imagery and description in this story is to die for. I felt like I was there, sitting in the sand with him and Angelina and Lee, eating fish and chips, trying to find some semblance of normalcy and happiness amongst these simple pleasures.

This line hit me hard: Focus on the waves to numb the memory of that jarring impact on the castle wall, the tumbling stones, Fred laughing, Fred motionless. - It perfectly rekindles that moment in the books when Fred dies with "the ghost of his last laugh" still on his face, and makes it even more impactful when you gut-punch us with the words "Fred motionless." Ugh. So powerful that it makes me hate you a little cause THE FEELS. THE FEELS, KRISTIN. STAHP IT.

I love this line, too: And so the wheel turns. - because yeah, it does. I lost my dad in a very tragic way, and those moments are so crazy, so life-altering, and it feels like everything is done, is over, but it's not, cause life keeps going anyway, and you just try to find a new normal for yourself. It's a surreal moment, realizing that the wheel continues to turn. You captured it beautifully.

I don't know what else to say, to be honest. This was phenomenal. You are brilliant. Don't write any more stories like this or I might die. ;)

Tanya ^.^

Author's Response: Aw. Honestly, I completely understand about being in denial of Fred's death. How could JKR separate the twins?! Why?! I just... ugh.

Gah, thank you so much! *hands over tissue* I am really glad to hear it flowed in an easy and simple way - I was going for a sense of clarity through simple things as George begins to recover a little bit at a time, and how being in the presence of the power of nature reminds him of how everything moves on - like taking a step away for a moment. I'm glad to hear that the emotions were effective in being mostly implied, thanks!

ahh, thank you! that is so wonderful to hear about the descriptions, and gahh sorry for the punch in the feels line about Fred, but I am glad to hear it was so powerful, that means a lot to me.

Wow, thank you, I really appreciate that that line about the wheel resonated with you. I am so sorry to hear about your dad :( but yes exactly, it hurts, and it goes on. This story is the most honest piece I've ever written - really it's half about George moving forward from Fred's death, and half about my coming to terms with the death of my cousin.

Aaah, thank you soo much! You are too nice! ♥ Thanks for your incredible review!

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Review #49, by writeyourheartoutFour: Four

13th December 2014:
I'm a couple hours late, but HAPPY HOT SEAT DAY!!! :-D

This was so beautiful; I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Part one I just adored. You set the tone of the fic perfectly from the first line, and I felt transported to this big, empty mansion, silent except for the sounds of a lone piano to comfort a young Blaise. The way this tied into those last lines - There was no piano playing that night, nor the nights that followed. I never could sleep quite right after that. - ugh, so powerful. I also loved how you brought in Blaise's revolving door of father figures and his mother's casually cruel way of explaining it to him. I honestly think this might be the first Blaise-centric fic I've ever read, and you really made me feel for him here. Beautifully done.

Part two was lovely as well. I'm sure most of your readers feel at least somewhat similarly to Blaise as far as their relationship to reading goes. I know I do. There's something so comforting about loving to read and the joy it brings wrapping yourself up in this completely different world and knowing it's there for you always. I always get lost in good books that suck you into their world, and it's fantastic, so I could definitely understand Blaise's point of view here. I really liked the introduction of Hermione here, as well. Because of the structure, I just sort of assumed we wouldn't hear a word about Hermione until part four, but I like that she got a moment before then - it created a greater foundation to root for them from.

Part three, my first thought was, YES! After this line: The third love of my life was Hogwarts. Wasn't that the love of most children? hahaha And I just loved this paragraph: The towers of books shielded me from the horrors I had to face from the people I associated myself with. The words on the paper kept me in my own world, if only for a little while. The peace was a calming factor that I hadn't felt since my mother's nimble piano playing. The smell was a solace, a reminder that not all was turning dark. There would always be the smell of books, no matter what the circumstances. - So beautifully stated. What stands out to me most about this section is the internal struggle that we see Blaise face as he's torn between the two sides of the war for various reasons. And I loved the way this section ended. Just lovely.

And finally part four. I actually really liked that it started off in a different format than the other three, because it's the most important one; the one where he finds peace and happiness in all of his previous loves and now a new one as well. This line is fantastic: I didn't see a way out, so I dug deeper in. - Perfect. Sorry, I feel like half of this review is just me quoting things back at you, but the writing in these places was just too good not to repeat! haha I like that the ending of this is actually somewhat open to interpretation as far as he and Hermione go. Like, does he love her from afar, or are they actually together and in love? Really lovely, either way, because he seems to have some closure.

I thoroughly enjoyed this and I have nothing bad to say about it! It was just really, really great. :)


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Review #50, by writeyourheartoutFive and a Half: Five and a Half

13th December 2014:
I'm a little late with this review, but HAPPY BELATED HOT SEAT DAY! :-D

This was so, so, SO cute! I sincerely enjoyed it, start to finish!

I've never read a Teddy/James fic before - mostly because I'm just not a big Next Gen reader in general - but (slightly inappropriate age difference aside) I really loved them together. Poor Harry, though! hahaha I can't even imagine... That beginning section was so awkward in the best way. I'm just trying to imagine if I had a son and a godson and found them making out in the shed together... That's gotta be a shocking thing to walk in on. LOL But he handles it well, all things considered. The end especially, with these lines: "It gave me a reason to ground you until you're conveniently eighteen." and "Teddy's still welcome to visit and write, but the bedroom doors are open for another two years." hehehe

The middle section was really wonderful, too. It was great being inside Teddy's head as he goes through this internal struggle in regards to his attraction to James. And I love how James ends up sort of luring Teddy into the shed and away from Albus to steal himself some privacy.

I love, love, love the way the title tied in. Such a great moment in the story, too, and you built up the tension between Teddy and James so, so well. Even though we knew from the beginning of the chapter they end up kissing, I was still on the edge of my seat thinking, KISS! KISS! OMG KISS! hahaha And then the last line! Gah! So perfect! :-D

Some of my favorite lines:

Harry just talked to Teddy about what happened, gave him advice, and laughed it off saying he did the same thing when he was in Hogwarts, except he fought a troll, too. - LOL Yep, the Golden Trio will probably always have a one-up on their kids trouble-making with that story alone! :-p

"So, let me get this straight," Harry started, momentarily overlooking the snort from James at his word choice. - HAHAHA Omg, I legitimately laughed out loud at this. Too funny. I love the moments of humor you snuck into this. The one-shot has a great balance of awkward and tense and funny and sweet all wrapped into less than 3k. So great. ^.^

A few minor, nitpicky details:

Okay, stop!" Harry interrupted, bringing his hands around Albus' ears. - You're missing the first quotation mark here.

The wall was lined with cheaply made Beater's bats, as no one in the Potter family *every played the **positon. - *ever **position

My only bit of criticism is that I think you may have made Albus seem just a little too young for his age in certain moments. He sounds a bit more like a six year old than a twelve year old in a few places. Like this line: "Da-ad!" Albus whined, "Don't say it like that! That makes me sound like a baby!" I think something a bit more bitingly sarcastic would have made him seem more age appropriate, maybe? Or when he doesn't understand what the hand gesture (which I'm assuming to be the most common of these types of hand gestures) means; I think at twelve with at least one - possibly two? - years of school under his belt, he'd know about it by now. But, that said, I'm not really the most trustworthy source on kids of any age and am really just comparing this to Harry, Ron, Hermione, and others in their year from Chamber of Secrets and think they never felt quite so young there, is all. But it's a minor detail in an otherwise brilliant story, so absolutely feel free to completely ignore this (especially cause I could be totally wrong. :-p)!

Anyway, overall, I absolutely adored this! AND I see you have a sequel of sorts to this fic, too! I'm excited for your next Hot Seat day, cause now I know exactly where I'll be headed! I look forward to reading more about them, cause you really did an excellent job! Thanks for the great read! :-D


Author's Response: Tanya, omg, I don't even know how to begin replying to thiss♥ (which may be why I have been putting it off? Maybe? Who knows!?) lol

Haha! I don't know if I feel worse for Teddy, or for Harry here, but in the end, Teddy gets what he wants, so my sympathy vote goes to Harry. I can only imagine what he was thinking after finding Albus.

I have these ridiculous headcanons about Teddy. Like so bad. So I love writing about him, and I really loved putting James there to just sort of thwart his demeanor for a few moments. James is definitely a terrible influence.

Haha! Harry one upping Teddy :D I almost feel like it may be more of a Ron thing than a Harry thing, but it still may rub off a little.

And, thank you for pointing those errors out! I'll definitely give that another look and fix those asap!

As far as Albus, I definitely understand what you're saying. I think part of the reason he sort of molded into the characterization he got was that he wasn't one of the main two (James/Teddy), so I sort of maneuvered him to be what I needed. I also read somewhere about broken bones (never having managed it myself) that there are different pain tolerances for everyone (like, someone could compound fracture their leg and hardly notice, and then someone could break their pinky and bawl their eyes out) SO, I think he was acting a bit younger in that aspect. So yeah, reasons aside, I definitely appreciate the input!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Tanya! This was super helpful, too!


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