Reading Reviews From Member: writeyourheartout
184 Reviews Found

Review #1, by writeyourheartoutLife in the Boot Family: Dylan

27th March 2015:
Hello again Freda and Georgina! ^.^

Believe it or not, I am here, once again, for the Review Hot Seat! hahaha I realize that I am ridiculously late in getting this to you, but I promised to get everyone their round three reviews, and so I continue to push through it (even if it is at an embarrassingly glacial pace). ;)

Just like every story I've read of yours so far, this was such a sweet, feel-good fic. ♥

Awww, new baby! How exciting! And also terribly painstaking having to wait to hear the gender and name even after its birth! I know I'd try to be just as sneaky as Selena and just as anxious as Dylan!

You write both children and family dynamics really well. The whole writing children thing absolutely terrifies me - I try to stay away from them just about at all costs - but you guys make it sound so easy to handle! And the little family details - things like Dylan trying to keep Kenway in one place while hunting down Amy or drawing on the parchment together - are so spot on to my experience growing up with four siblings of my own. I have to assume that growing up for you two was somewhat similar - and if not, then I am even more impressed with your abilities!

Bahahaha! Kenway's baby talk with the adorable W's makes me chuckle with every line of his. Too cute. ♥

You do a really great job of keeping the magic alive. Things like including the no-spill ink for Kenway to use while drawing are both super original and wonderfully reflective of the Harry Potter universe.

LOL The "Can I poke him?" scene was so cute.

And AWWW! Dylan got to choose her middle name?!? *melts* So. Darn. Adorable. And I love the name he chose, too. ;) Such a sweet moment. The whole story, really, was one giant sweet moment. You guys are so good at that sort of thing. ♥

Anyway, as far as constructive criticism goes, the one thing I've noticed you do a lot is start dialogue tags with capital letters rather than including them as part of the quoted sentence that precedes them. Here are some examples:

“Any luck Amy?” He called down the stairs. - This should be, "Any luck, Amy?" he called down the stairs. The 'he' should not be capitalized. Also, there should be a comma before Amy's name.

“Did you find him here?” *He asked. - *he

“He got into the chocolate box*.” **She said. - *comma, not period, **she

“Do you want to hold Shannon?” *He asked. - *he

There are a large number of these sorts of errors throughout the story outside of the ones I quoted here, and so I wanted to make sure I pointed it out to you since it happens so often! And hopefully all of that made sense and helps you out. :)

Anyway, other than those small grammatical errors, this was such a lovely first chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Again, your ability to write young kids and their family dynamics is just so spot on. And that last line was too sweet! Gah. Feels. Really great job, you two. ^.^


Author's Response: Yay! Hey better late than never! Also Yay finally one on this story!! It was supposed to be a sequel to a SSC that was really popular; but when limited big name characters are in it... That's my (Freda's) theory at least.

We really enjoyed writing these kinds of stories; though it's been a bit since we've done so. Kids are so cute and fun to write and naturally nothing goes right. Being able to observe kids interacting helps, even if it's limited. Glad it turned out well!

I, Freda, am the oldest, so I relate to Dylan in this situation quite well. Even in the context of babysitting, which both of us have a fair amount of experience in. Georgina was usually my "right hand man" (like Amy) when the two of us were on our own with our youngest sister Ginny, or again babysitting.

The idea for that came from "Magic Markers"; a brand of markers that only colored on a special kind of paper, otherwise on say the carpet, it was invisible. I forget which one of us came up with that. "Kiddie Quill" if it didn't get edited out represents a big thick quill; because little kids can't hold thin utensils.

The poking thing was all Georgina. It came up in real life (I think between us; more or less in goofiness) at the dinner table shortly before writing this. The witty Amy response at least was all Georgina.

Yeah, that's embarrassing. Obviously this was an earlier piece (before we corrected that habit) that wasn't looked over as much. Only last week I looked at this and fixed a couple appalling typos like "got green ink gall over his face" and "time for you nap". No joke. I plan to fix those dialogue tags soon; I don't have too much time to spare but I really wanted to respond and my fingers are itching to fix it; since it's probably like that for the others too. :/

Aw! Glad you liked it so much! :) Especially the ending; it felt borderline sappy to me, but I'm glad it was alright.

Thanks so much for the lovely review; which *cough cough* reminds me why you were nominated so many times for Keckers Best Reviewer! ;)


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Review #2, by writeyourheartoutInfinitesimal: Leo Minor

22nd March 2015:

First of all, thank you for the dedication! That was so sweet of you to include me in, too! You're so lovely. You know, when you're not torturing characters and breaking my heart. ;)

FAIR WARNING: I'm going to quote you A LOT. Cause your writing is so pretty. Your description in some places and your poignancy in others is just so brilliant that I just can't help but to relive it here.

I never was able to keep quiet for long, as you know well; my mum blames my dad for it and my dad blames my mum. In turn, they both blame Sirius, too. - HAHAHA I love that while this really was overall a very angsty, tragic story, you were still able to add in these wonderful moments of humor. It added a whole new level to the tale, lacing it through with some comedy so that we're emotionally up and down the whole time.

Unlike you, he wasn’t open, or friendly, or talkative; he was quiet and aloof and hardly ever deigned to acknowledge others around him. He wasn’t even rude – you remember, I’m sure, how unfailingly polite he was in prefects’ meetings – he was just… cold. - I love this description of Regulus. It is so spot on for me. In fact, all of your characterizations were brilliantly on point; from those we spend a lot of time with to those we only see in small glimpses; everyone felt to authentic.

Charmingly foolish, you called me once. You always did know me so well, even when you said you hated me. - Did I mention I was going to quote you a lot? LOL Forgive me. BUT SO MUCH YES HERE. Charmingly foolish - it's too true. I wrote a Jily fic once that essentially likened James to a charming mess. It's always so great to read stories where characters are written just as you see them, too. It makes it far too easy to become hopelessly attached, though. ♥

I have to say, I just love the slow build of their relationship, the complete unsureness of James, the skepticism of Regulus, both of which still pulls them toward one another without knowing quite why. It's so lovely.

Once a Gryffindor, though, and so I walked forwards again. - This line. This moment. So much yes. SO MUCH YES.

And then omggg. That stargazing date scene that immediately followed was sooo romantic! *dies* And what I love most about it was that it was romantic without feeling overdone or cheesy or any of the things I usually feel and dislike while reading romantic scenes! I don't even know how you did it, but it was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

You always trusted me implicitly. Faith and kindness: your two best and most endearing qualities. I suppose in this I abused both, really. - UGH. I love that this story was in letter format for moments like these. His openness and honesty in this letter, regardless of how he kept the secret for so long in the first place, is just so perfectly touching sometimes. I really want to know what Lily thinks of all this; how she'd react to all of these truths.

The moment when Regulus shares his hemophilia and James shares his heart murmur... ugh, Laura. UGH. ♥ What a beautiful, touching moment.

I just adore this hero complex section, of James trying to almost justify why he thinks it started in the first place, because he wanted to fix or to save or to help Regulus. And this idea of both feeling that it was a good, kind thing to do for Regulus while also knowing it wasn't actually a nice thing to do to Lily, it makes me really feel for him and to understand how torn he was. And I love that when he asks if it was wrong, he doesn't say I don't think so, but rather I don't want to think so. Love it.

In my life, you were the daylight, the person I could love then, openly and obviously, utterly unfettered by convention, by sides in a war, by secrets and truths we both hid. He was like the night, quiet and beautiful and wondrous in his own way, and I didn’t love him any less than you, even if we had to be secret, had to be short and sweet and simple. - This. Is. Perfection. I can't even. Just yes. Everything here: yes. ♥


(You just had to throw a little wink to Albus/Gellert in, didn't you? hahaha I've never really gotten into their ship, to be honest, but that was a brilliant moment. I love that you struck upon their parallels to gut-punch us right in the feels. I also hate that you did it, too, though... cause FEELS. UGH.)


It's like... I feel bad for EVERYONE in this story! For James and for Regulus and for Lily and for Dumbledore and for Sirius and WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU THAT EVERYONE MUST SUFFER? (Don't worry, I mean that in a terribly good way. :-p)

The ending was perfect. From Sirius' reaction to Lily's naive comforting to the way you wrapped up the letter... Perfection. I don't even know what else to say about it. It was just so wonderful.

You are brilliant. This was incredible. And that is all.

Tanya ♥

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Review #3, by writeyourheartoutThe Orchard: Games Continue

15th March 2015:
Hey Zayne! ^.^

I was so happy to see you'd updated this story; it's truly one of my favorites! And this was another excellent chapter! Yay! ♥

I just love Mary. I loved her from the beginning and she grows on me more and more each chapter. I love her subtlety, her quietness (I've always been drawn to quieter characters), how unassuming she is, and her internal monologue is always so fascinating and intriuging, even when nothing much is really happening. She sees the world just a little bit differently and is highly observant where everyone else is somewhat indifferent and/or oblivious.

Your Lily is so unique; I don't think I've ever read a version of her quite like yours. There's something so... unlikeable about her! But I mean that in a good way, I promise. ;) I don't even quite know how to put my finger on it... I do thoroughly enjoy the choice, though.

The air of mystery that surrounds every single chapter, in one place or another, always leaves me dying to know more. This chapter it really started off with Mafalda. I have no idea what Peter might have meant, why it effected her so deeply, why she's seemingly such an anxious person, or anything else - which I love! Reading a story with this element of mystery and feeling like I don't know where it's headed is endlessly exciting.

Oh! And what about the Remus and Lily and Laura thing? That was strange... What in the world was happening with that?!?! I want to know so badly because I legitimately have no clue! I love-hate it! haha

Still love Florence. She's kind of awful, but also kind of brilliant, and every scene with her is great.

Your Sirius is another exceptional character, and different than I've seen before. A little less... exhausting? I mean, he's almost tame at both the Quidditch match and the party that follows, which is not a Sirius I often see. He's usually the life of these events in some fashion. I love that you chose to allow his upbringing in the Black family to effect him a little more. I think it makes sense that some of those things are ingrained in him, much as he may loath his family. But that superiority sort of complex - feeling like he's above the party - is a pretty direct reflection of his upbringing.

Also... is it bad that I'm shipping Mary/Sirius now? PLEASE TELL ME NO! hahaha Seriously, I really like them together after that conversation.

I wonder what's up with James and this Helen chick... Like, why is he (I assume) dating her? And why was it so important for Mary to meet her? Does James have some sort of ulterior motive here? Or Helen, even? Dun dun dunnn! I really have no idea, they could be totally legit, for all I know. :-p

THAT ENDING! Omg, please tell me you plan to update again soon, because THAT WAS SUCH A CLIFFHANGER! I must know what happens next.


I feel like I should tell you that Remus is my all-time favorite character and if you hurt him... I will be very upset. ZAYNE. WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM?? Seriously, he's been MIA, like, this entire chapter, and you've got me all sorts of nervous because of it! Eep!

Anyway, all of that aside, your Author's Note inquired about the Quidditch match and how you handled it, so I thought I'd comment on that as well to say I thought you did it exceptionally well! I loved the fog which added to the mystery of what was even going on out there - especially when the Snitch chase began. It was suspenseful and action-y without being too overwhelming or distracting from other important things that were happening simultaneously. It was the perfect balance of life in the stands versus what was happening on the pitch. Really well done. :)

If you're rusty at writing, it honestly doesn't show at all. Other than a few typo's or missing words here and there, the chapter read wonderfully. Here are a couple examples of those moments, though:

“*Professors, wait, who is the student?" - *Professor

He jumped * and down chanting a Quidditch song the boys had made up in their second year. - *up

Anyway, there are a handful of those little details, but that's honestly my only tiny critique! You're brilliant, this story is amazing, and I sincerely cannot wait for the next chapter! :-D


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Review #4, by writeyourheartoutFeed Me Chocolate: Feed Me Chocolate

15th March 2015:

This is seriously perfection. Like, I can't even. I'm a little speechless and also currently finding out that it's hard to type when you're bouncing around in your chair from a case of severe giddiness!

Now, please allow me to apologize ahead of time for the possibly incoherent review about to follow, and for any overuse of caps lock, quoting, and just general *squee*-ness.


(I'm trying really hard to pull myself together. SO MANY FEELS RIGHT IN THE HEART.)

First off, this scene with the chocolate. I am dead. SO MUCH TENSION. hahaha It's actually incredible how palpable their chemistry in this scene was. I could have cut it with a knife, swear to God. The entire time I was sitting on the edge of my chair with all the thoughts in my mind screaming, KISS! KISS! KISS HIM NOW, YOU FOOL!


Anyway, I'll try not to hold him too accountable for it. Although, when you consider the bucket of water incident, too... hahaha That was a hilarious detail to include, by the way. I love the small moments like that you managed to fit into the story - it really added a whole other layer.

By the way, I am just in love with the Remus you created here. He is everything I just absolutely adore in a Remus. The perfect balance of uncertainty and boldness, of control and lack thereof. He had so many layers here and so many battles sort of going on at once, between Sirius' perpetual flirtations and the rapidly approaching full moon and his goal to suppress all the feelings that come along with both of those things, we got to see a lot of different sides of him; all of which I adored.

Oh, and I love the way you explained Remus' chocolate habit in this; almost as a desire to drown the monster within. I thought that was such a cool choice, that he wasn't just eating chocolate for the sake of it, like he does in a lot of Remus-centric stories.

“Am I bothering you?” Sirius asked... “You know you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it,” Remus replied... - HAHAHAHA These two lines say so much about their relationship as friends, and it is ridiculously spot on. You understand their dynamic so well. ♥

“You asked them to make me something?” Remus asked, turning searching eyes on his best mate and wondering if Sirius had any clue how in love with him Remus was. - AWWW! This makes me so happy. That last bit of the line made my heart clench. And the moment before this was so great too, when Remus comments on how rare it is for Sirius to do something truly thoughtful... BUT HE DID FOR REMUS. I am dead. ♥

HAHAHA I love that Sirius threatens to obliviate Remus if he doesn't react well to his confession! They are too perfect together, I can't even.

You flirted with McGonagall the other day! - LOL

I love how no one seems to know anything. Remus has no clue about Sirius, Sirius has no clue about Remus, James has clue about what he'd interrupted, and Peter is just asleep and obviously clueless, too. *pets all the poor oblivious boys*

BUT THEN YOU MAKE IT ALL UP WITH THE ENDING! AHHH! YES! CONFESSIONS! AND THEY KISSED! AND IT WAS PERFECTION! GAH! I am a melted puddle of goo on the floor, and I almost mean that quite literally. :-p

He knew on some subconscious level that he probably had a huge goofy grin on his face that wasn’t at all flattering, but Remus was too happy to care. - This is basically me right now, just so you know. :-p

This was really just phenomenal. It was so funny and charming and sweet and sincere and tense and so many more things, all wrapped up into one excellent fic. I don't know how you did it, but I truly loved it, Ellie. And more than that, you wrote it specifically for me, and I sincerely cannot thank you enough for that. It was literally the perfect gift. You are so wonderful. Thank you endlessly. ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Hey Tanya,

Now I'm the one wearing the goofy, unflattering smile after that review! I'm so glad you liked it, seriously, I've been so nervous about publishing it and not getting them right the way you like them, so it's so good to know that you enjoyed it immensely. It was a lot of fun to write this, and a little bit challenging to write as well because I've never written anything Slash before and all the "he did this" "he touched him" 's were doing my head in a little because when I was re-reading I was going "WHICH HE?" and so I had to use their names a little more to make things clearer.

Seriously though, I can't imagine a funner pairing to play with in my first paddle of slashy water. I'm glad you like this pairing and not something really tricky like a James/Snape or something. That would've been tough.

Anyways, I'm so so happy you liked your present. Since I couldn't send you a real cake as I don't know where you live, I thought this might be a good stand in (plus this one won't sticky to your hips like cake ;) *teehee* )

Thanks for making my day with this review. You're the best!


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Review #5, by writeyourheartoutLosing You: Losing You

24th February 2015:
Hello Ellie, and happy SUPER DUPER BELATED Hot Seat Day! :-D

Oh my goodness. You and these first-person, gut-wrenching, overwhelmingly heartbreaking stories! Stahp it.

(Just kidding. Don't ever stahp it. ♥) you arched backwards with all the grace you’d ever had in life... - Omg, I love this little snippet. Gorgeously put.

And this line, too: He fought me so hard* Sirius. - *comma here - That made for such a poignant moment. My heart broke for both Remus and Harry here. Just wonderful.


Really, though, I have always felt that Remus has the most heart-wrenching story, and this section with him drinking and thinking about James and Sirius dead and Peter a traitor while he's left alone is just one of the many reasons why. It's so ridiculously upsetting, but really well done. And I just loved this moment here in particular: I can find solace only in the idea of the two of you finally together again. - Ugh! And then when it's followed by his wanting to be there with them?! *sniffs* My heart! He really does have so much strength, to keep going, despite it all.

I love the way you justify this side of Remus we're seeing here, because we never really see too many signs of his devastation over the loss of all his closest friends in the books. He really only has that one melt-down moment, in Deathly Hallows, but that's over his soon to be born son. We never see the part of him that surely fell apart after Sirius died and he lost him all over again. I like that you gave a reason to that, by choosing to say he felt obligated to be strong, to be seen as a leader when other people are around, so that only in the privacy of loneliness did he allow himself to indulge in this all-consuming anger and sadness.

Omg, I love the moment when he's thanking them for all they did for him. So touching. And the way you worked your challenge quote in was really great, as well.

The ending was just perfection. I mean, truly; from his decision to skip the Wolfsbane potion and embrace the wolf within, to his desire to use this thing he's always hated so much as an escape instead - brilliant. And that paragraph - that last line - was so beautiful in such a terrible way. So many feels. Really, such a powerful ending.

My only critique is that were a few places where it felt like you were sort of saying the same thing or repeating a few of the same words too many times so that it felt a bit unedited. I may be being a harsh critic for you simply because your last one-shot truly blew me away with the beauty of it, but the thing is that I feel like this story could be just as phenomenal, just as gripping, if it had just a couple places tightened up a bit. Let me give a couple examples to you:

She’s brilliant and beautiful and so much younger than me*. She doesn’t need to be saddled with me* and with all the baggage that comes along with me*. - *The "me"s here are a little heavy-handed.

He’s already gnawing for release inside me and the moon’s not even high yet. Already he’s hungry for release, no doubt expecting the night of freedom I so recall from our younger days. - The "already _ _ _ release" formula here is repetitive.

And don't get me wrong: sometimes repetition is an extremely useful and powerful tool, but in these cases, I think it's taking away from the beauty of the rest of your writing. But anyway, like I said, this could totally just be me, so if you end up looking it over and disagree, please feel free to completely ignore this! Especially because, at the end of the day, this was still a wonderful, moving, beautiful piece of writing. You do an excellent job at putting the pain of loss into words. Really well done, Ellie. ♥


Author's Response: Oh wow,

Thanks so much for reviewing for me Tanya. I hadn't even noticed those things, but now that you've pointed them out I see what you mean. I'll jump in and edit the so it's more poignant and smoother.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and a huge kudos on chasing up the review hot seat this way. I need to get on top of mine too.


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Review #6, by writeyourheartoutSympathy, Tenderness: Offer Me Your Embrace

18th February 2015:
Hello again, Ilia, and Happy Super-Duper Belated Hot Seat Day! ^.^

You know, it's funny. Generally when I choose a story to review for someone, I'm not ever tempted to read Dramione's, but for whatever reason, I really just wanted to see what you would do with the pair! So here I am!

Spoiler: You did very good with them. ;)

Oh, wow, what a way to begin! Very sad to see that Narcissa has died. She obviously wasn't the greatest person in the books, but she wasn't ever truly evil either. I've always felt that a lot of who she is/was had been defined by the people surrounding her, and that if she'd grown up with some better influences, she'd never have found herself in Voldemort's circle. I think she could have ended up like Andromeda, if only she'd been strong enough to walk away from the majority of her family. But regardless of all that, she ended her canon reign with a good deed and defined herself as a mother far more than as a Death Eater. Anyway, like I said, sad to see her dead (but a great way to start this story). ♥

Can't apply the same theory for Lucius, though, can I? My goodness, he's still just awful here! hahaha The fact that he would risk Narcissa's life rather than go to a Muggle hospital where she could be cured is so upsetting. And the fact that he would disown Draco simply for communicating with Hermione? Wow. Unfortunately, I think that's pretty in character with Lucius, especially during stressful situations, where he becomes even more rash.

I love that by seeing Lucius' decision compared directly next to Draco's decision to reach out to Hermione really shined a light on the defining difference between the two of them, who seemed so similar during most of the books. I mean, the fact that Draco was willing to put aside any prejudice that might have still remained (even post-war) to help his mother speaks miles about how good he can be to the people he loves.

(By the way, I just have to tell you that I loved the choice to have Narcissa die from a Muggle disease. I'm sure that irony wasn't lost on a lot of people.)

As far as Draco and Hermione go, I love the way you set them up - I love the idea behind what brought them together. I also thought it was incredibly kind of Hermione to find Draco after the news of his mother's death was reported. She's such a lovely person, but still tough when she needs to be - like when Draco starts to heavily turn on her and she takes a stand when he's gone too far. I also thought that Draco's love for his mother was super heart-breaking, and the way Hermione came back for him at the end and he let her hold him as he fell apart was a really wonderful ending.

Overall I very much enjoyed this. A little dramatic in places? Sure, yeah, I won't lie about that. But it wasn't so over the top or unfathomable that I couldn't still enjoy it or understand the harsh actions and reactions.

My only real critique is concerning some background information:

The thing that's unclear in this story is what Hermione and Draco's relationship before this moment was - between Hogwarts and his asking for her help. During some parts of the story, it feels like this is the first communication they've had since Hogwarts, but other times it feels like they've spent at least a little bit of time together and have repaired small pieces of their relationship and gained a greater understanding for one another. For example: She took small, deliberate steps, very aware that she was somewhere she’d never been before, nor did she ever expect to be. and You should be thanking me for even answering you, considering how horribly you treated all of us our entire lives!” - Both of these sentences make me feel like this is the first time they've seen each other since Hogwarts - or at the very least the first time they've had an actual conversation. But the fact that he calls her Hermione and not Granger throughout the entire story and the fact that she later says, " haven’t changed as much as I thought." both make it sound like they grew closer since their Hogwarts days and may have even been becoming friends. Not knowing where they stand before this scene takes place just made me feel a little lost, is all.

But that's it! Again, overall it was sincerely enjoyable and I'm glad I chose to read this! ^.^

Tanya ♥

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Review #7, by writeyourheartoutBackground Noise: The Devil (Who is Neither in Disguise Nor in Prada)

17th February 2015:

Omg. This story is near impossible to review well. I mean, the chapter title alone! Are you kidding me? Hahahaha! I keep trying to redeem myself from my last review on chapter one, but the sheer levels of hilarity and silliness written into this story keep turning my brain to mush! WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?

I'm apologizing ahead of time for this newest round in insanity and for the number of times I quote you. It can't be helped. This is your fault.

"Allie Apples is – was a member of the once popular wizarding band, One Dimension." - ONE DIMENSION, YOU DIDN'T!!! HAHAHA PERFECTION.

“You’ll want to be more careful now,” Nora says as I pull out of the garage. “After all, your time’s supposed to be up. You could be harvested by Death’s grim scythe any moment now.” - Ah, friendship. Nothing lovelier. :-p

My God, your characters are hilarious. Nora's bouts of inter-dimensional mind-travel are just the greatest thing ever. And I love that Lizzy's always calling her Princess or Your Highness. Too much fun. :-p

Port Sturry sounds a blast.

Oh, God! Polyjuice Potion was already gross, and now you've just taken it to a whole other level of ick-ick-ick! *shudders* What goes on in that head of yours, teh, I may never know... O_O

I just love the sheer amounts of magic you have in this fic - and so much of it completely original. Carkett Close and its whole deal was already imaginative enough, but you've got so many new places, new tricks, new ways of life being featured in this story that it's just so impressive. This whole smuggling world, for example... First of all - LOL! Wow, what a job to throw your characters into. Love it. And then the way the business is dealt with inside these ports, the way they do their sneaking about and smuggling. It's all brilliant and hilariously entertaining and a world unto itself. This story feels like its own universe. :)

The Auror, meanwhile, is now doing a cross between the Viennese waltz and Gangnam-style. - This is officially my favorite spell ever.

Holy cow, what happened in the Potter household to cause Lily - er... Lily-Lou, excuse me - to grow up so... so... holy-mother-of-God-crazy-pants-crazy?

LOL Love the way the chapter title seriously comes into play later on. :-p

Well, it’s simple, Mojo Jojo. - HAHAHA OMG, IS THAT A POWERPUFF GIRLS REFERENCE? I could kiss you. ♥

I have to tell you: I love that this is turning into a legitimate story beneath all the ridiculous antics and references and insanity. I'm, like, sincerely invested in this story now. I really want to know what's up with this whole James plotline. It's beyond intriguing.

“The hobo fohmally known as Jojo is no mo'. From this day fowohd, I shall be known as MOJO JOJO!” - HAHAHAHA Omg. I kind of want to be friends with your twisted version of Lily just for that.

Bahahaha I love that Nora is just flopped down in the middle of the road for this entire exchange. *pets*

Wow. What a party... O_O LOL Seriously, that place sounds like a coulrophobic's nightmare. Oh Lily-Lou... You're gonna be a great character, aren't you? She's hilarious and devious and it's absolutely wonderful to watch her mess with good ol' Mojo Jojo's head. I'm super curious about these powers of hers that she seems to possess, though! I hope we end up with a fuller explanation at some point, because I am super intrigued! :-D

This was brilliant, yet again. And I think my review came out much more coherent this time around!!! Yay! It took a lot of effort, I'm not gonna lie. ;)

Stay awesome, possum.


Author's Response: HI TANYA!! ♥ ♥

...this response is waaay laaate OH GOD I AM SO SORRY -hides-

But srsly OMG THANK YOOUUU for this reviewww!!

You are far too kind and I LOVE YOU and this story makes no sense but thank you for this review again asldj;asldk;

I don't even remember what I wrote because it's been waaay too long since I even wrote anything. And...ONE DIMENSION. I wanna write ONE DIMENSION fanfic where the band is reunited baahahaha. Nora and Jo are indeed the best of friends. They're more a partnership than friends, actually, but still friends.

Seriously, I look at all your comments and I think, did I really write all that stuff you're quoting? Turns out I did. :P I have no idea what frame of mind I was in while writing this chapter, but it wasn't anything normal. And I would love to curse someone and force them to do gangnam style plus a viennese waltz. YES.

Lily-Lou, hahaha, I love writing her. Her making Jo quote the Powerpuff Girls. UGH I MIGHT JUST START SHIPPINH THEM TOGETHERRR. SHe's the devil, Lily-Lou, and you'd better start taking me literally, Tanya. :P

Your review's coherent, what are ya talking about?! It's this story that's completely whacked. BUT THANK YOU.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #8, by writeyourheartoutThe Expectant Follower of Always: The First.

10th February 2015:
Hello again, fellow Puff! ^.^

Awww, what a sweet idea for a story! I love the way you've turned Snape's famous always into this deepest pledge of love! And the idea of wanting to pass it down from generation to generation is even sweeter. It's too cute, I can't even. ♥

Echo (do you think if her name was Sally she'd be different- 'cause I do) Philips. - LOL This little jab made me chuckle. :-p

Poor Al. I can definitely understand his struggle as far as his relationship with Echo goes and the way his friends regard said relationship. I love that he's a romantic, that he's searching for his always, but finding ones soulmate can be an extremely long and tedious journey, especially because you never know when that person is going to come along. The idea of being alone the entire time he waits for his soulmate is just sad, so of course he finds consolation and comfort in short-term girlfriends. I think it's sweet that he wants to defend Echo, too, even if she does seem rather less-than-worthy.

I can’t find a reason to break up with her, but I don’t have a reason to stay with her either. - I really love this sentence. It rings so true of many a relationship. I think a lot of couples reach this point after a while, where they stay with each other not for any reason other than they're simply comfortable there. Of course, that's not at all a good reason to stay with someone long-term, which is sort of reason enough to break things off just by default, but a lot of people can't do it. They grow used to the routine of being with this person because it's what they know, and to leave it behind, regardless of the lack of love, is scary. Totally feel you, Albus. ;)

Dawww, Ruby's a sweetheart! That was nice of her to check in on Albus. And if I'm not mistaken, there might actually be a little chemistry between the two of them... ♥

Rose, on the other hand... hahaha She seems a little less on the sweet side of things! hehehe Her plotting out how Albus should dump Echo made me laugh. Girl doesn't mess around, does she? :-p

This was a very enjoyable opening chapter! I think you've got a really nice plot going, an interesting group of friends to be centered around, and a really sweet and romantic focal point! My only concern for this story is the technical details of your writing. Let me give you some examples:

Severus Snape found his match before he was 11. - Harry James Potter, met his soulmate at 11. - I looked toward my bed and area around that had belonged to me for the whole 6 almost 7 years I had been attending this school. - So, something I notice you don't do is type out your small numbers, which is something that I'm sure a lot of people don't care about (and please ignore this entirely if you prefer it as is), but that I also know is a general rule of thumb when it comes to grammar guidelines. I've read one rule that says it should be applied for all numbers ten and under, and others that say twenty and under. I prefer twenty and under because, in my opinion, it just makes the writing look more formal, more advanced, and of higher quality. I just think that when they aren't spelled out, they tend to negatively stick out - draw my eye in an aesthetically displeasing way. I think all of those sentences would look better if you substituted the numbers with the words eleven, six, and seven.

(But, again, I may legitimately be the only person who feels strongly about this rule, so sincerely disregard if you like! :-p)

Grammar, punctuation, sentence flow and structure - all these little technical details are just not quite there. You have a brilliant foundation here for your story to shine, but it could do with some serious tightening up. Those small technicalities are the absolute worst to overcome - trust me, I feel your pain - but they are so important when it comes to the fluidity of sentences, the ability to powerfully story-tell, and overall quality of writing. I've selected a few examples for you below:

I, Albus Severus Potter* promise to continue and** use the word always to represent affection to my soul mate, when and if,*** I find them. - *comma, **to, not and, ***no comma here

In the sentence above, you can see how there are a lot of small details that just aren't quite right, and it disrupts the flow, which takes away the power of his pledge.

This next section (italicized below) has almost no punctuation at all. There aren't even periods at the end of any of the sentences. Take a look:

"Al! You'll never guess what just happened" she came over, practically sat on my lap, even though the entire sofa next to me was free, and put on her classic fake pout

"What?" I pretend to care and put on my concerned boyfriend face while removing a stray bit of hair from her face

"I just had a fight with Caitlyn" aka her best and almost only friend, she started to whimper slightly which meant full on protective boyfriend mode

"Why? What did she do to you?" I quickly toughened up and got angry

Anyway, I know it's the nitpicky stuff, the time-consuming little details that are rather annoying to try to use correctly, but I really believe that taking the time to be meticulous will prove to be exceedingly beneficial for your stories! Or you could find a beta willing to nitpick for you! They're always a great option. ^.^

All of that said, it was still very enjoyable overall! Keep it up! :)


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Review #9, by writeyourheartoutI See You. : Prologue: Missing.

8th February 2015:
Hello again, Kyle! ^.^

What an interesting premise for a story! I was really intrigued the entire time!

I love the way the first section builds towards James' disappearance while centering around Harry, Ginny, and the family dynamics. It was a great way to incorporate background information and lay a solid foundation for the readers. What's more is that it never felt explain-y while you did it, nor did it seem to drag - both of which can easily happen when an author writes about background information. You managed to stay out of that hole, so kudos to you! ^.^

I feel so bad for Harry and Ginny! The way the gossip columns cling to this news is bad enough, but to twist it around to read like they're poor parents? Ugh, that's just awful!

Aww! I feel so bad for Albus and Lily, too! I can't even imagine having to go through a period of time in which one of your siblings is missing. ♥

Headmistress Sprout! Love it! I don't think I've read a story yet in which she's the person who becomes the Headmistress, but I love it! Hufflepuff represent! *high fives* ;)


Looks like Teddy may have been the one to find him, actually, considering that he's covered in blood! :-/ I'm so curious as to what happened!!! Must. Read. On.

Aaand... yep! Wow. That's crazy. And now I have even more questions! Who is it that did this to James? Why did they do it? And why did they return him half-alive? And to a relative, no less! Perhaps the goal here was not to kill him after all? Hmm...

AND THEN THE ENDING! I mean, thank goodness he's alive, but it's so sad he lost his sight! ♥

Really well done story overall, but I do have just a few notes for you before I wrap this review up:

There's something a bit... off. Something just doesn't seem to quite work in regards to the style of your writing - in the first section in particular. I think you're trying a bit too hard to be... formal? I don't know, I'm having a hard time placing my finger on it exactly... It's a modern-day story, right? But you write it almost as if it's something out of the A Song of Ice and Fire series. Here's an example: Nevertheless, as the hours slipped by Ginny grew increasingly doubtless that something was afoot with the absence of her child. And another example here: Rarely, on occasion, do the children somehow piece together an adequate point that there is no way really, to deny them what they request. And it's not necessarily that you don't handle the language well or use it incorrectly or anything, it's just that it doesn't really fit with the times, in my opinion, and it feels sort of jumbled in places because of that. But, as I said, this is strictly my opinion! I wanted to point it out in case it's something you'd like to look into, but if it's what you like and what you're going for, definitely ignore me and continue to have at it! ^.^

Lily was not convinced and only when Albus wrapped his arm around his sister’s shoulder, did her crying turn into quite sniffles. - *quiet

I'd also like to point out your comma usage. It wasn't something you had too big of an issue with in the previous story I read of yours - which I truly loved ♥ - but you seem to be overusing it a lot in this story - placing them in sentences where they don't need to be and subsequently creating a more stilted, less fluid story. Comma's are just the worst, though, aren't they? I completely feel your pain. haha

And on a final note: I noticed that you switch between past and present tense a few times throughout the story. For example, this sentence starts out in the present tense and ends in the past tense: It is* (present) not until two weeks after James went* (past) missing, until they obtained* (past) any word of his whereabouts.

That said, it's still a very enjoyable opening chapter with a lot of mystery and build-up that has left me extremely curious as to what exactly is going on! I think that with just a bit of tidying and tightening up, this fic could really shine!


Author's Response: Thanks Tanya!
First off I do hate commas, I always over look them. :P
I really enjoyed writing this and thanks for the feed back. Chapter 2 should be around relatively soon. And I'll be sure to go back through and look at your suggestions :)
Thanks again-

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Review #10, by writeyourheartoutAlbus Potter and Slytherin's Office: The Extraordinary Arrival

29th January 2015:
Hello again, Pheonix Potioneer, and Happy Belated Hot Seat Day! ^.^

Awww... Albus is such a sweet little kid. I think it's very fitting of him to feel upset about leaving home, because he seemed exceptionally close and reliant upon his dad in the epilogue. I think Harry is probably his safety net, and it must be hard to walk away from that for a school so far away, knowing they won't see each other again for months - even while surrounded by the familiar faces of his brother and cousins.

“Plus,” James added, “They announced at the end of last year that they aren’t using the sorting hat this year, because it got damaged. They’re going to have a big test instead, wrestling mountain trolls and that sort of stuff.” - LOL James is such a brat. Reminds me of my own older brother who, after I accidentally swallowed a black watermelon seed, convinced me that a watermelon would start growing in my stomach... I was so young. :-p

I can completely understand Albus' anxiety in regards to his expectations for the year. Having such a well-known father who has this great legacy certainly comes with its challenges. And I can definitely relate to people having high expectations for you and that, in turn, making you afraid of disappointing them. But, that said, I still think it's really sweet that Harry likes to tell people that Albus' is like him. Proud daddy. ^.^

He's so determined not to be a snake! Didn't he listen to his dad at the station!? :-p

Hagrid! Glad to see he's still working there. ♥

Awww, the Sorting Hat song was really cute! That's a tough challenge to take on, but I think you handled it well!

CLIFFHANGER! WHERE'S HE GET SORTED? I suppose I'll have to read on to find out, huh? ;)

One thing I noticed you did that felt a little inconsistent was whether or not Albus actually believed what James' said about the Sorting Hat being unusable this year. He seemed to really believe it at first when you wrote this: Albus’s heart sank. Now not only did he have to be worried about being away from home so long, and being sorted into Slytherin house, but also he had to worry about whatever test they were doing. - But later this thought happened: Was his dad right, in saying the sorting hat would listen when he said he didn’t want to be in Gryffindor? - He clearly begins worrying about the Hat again, so now I start to think he doesn't really believe James and knows he was probably just messing with him. But then this happens: As they continued forward he breathed a huge sigh of relief when he saw the sorting hat sitting on the stool, and not some huge obstacle course out in front of them with trolls and other horrible creatures. - So, as you can see, it goes back and forth a few times and is just unclear as to what he actually thinks. Anyway, I just wanted to point out that that confused me a bit, so you may want to be clearer, should you ever decide to edit this! ^.^

(Also, I believe Sorting Hat should be capitalized, but don't quote me on that because I unfortunately don't have my books on me at the moment!)

It was still a good chapter overall, though, and the ending was particularly clever! Keep it up!

Tanya ♥

Author's Response: If I went to boarding school when I was 11, I would have been terrified too, like Albus. He's very understandable.

I remember my brother telling me the same thing about the black watermelon seed too! Ah, the pains of having older brothers. Or was it my mom who said the thing about the watermelon seed? It might have been.

Yup, James can be a brat!

Albus did listen to his dad, but a one-minute conversation can't completely erase his (in my head canon) months-old fears. Plus, I think he paid more attention to the "you can choose what house to be in" than the "Slytherin is a great house" part.

I didn't really notice the inconsistencies until now- thank you for pointing that out! I might go back and edit it, but then I'll feel the urge to rewrite the entire story, and I've kind of moved on from it. Thank you for letting me know.

I just went to my bookshelf and looked up the Sorting Hat, and you are right! The books refers to it as "the Sorting Hat". I won't edit it this, but I'll be sure to change it on the sequel and all future stories. Thank you so much for this revelation!

Thanks for reviewing! And yes, of course there had to be a cliffhangers! I love cliffhangers.

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Review #11, by writeyourheartoutAlong the Astral Plane: Binary Star

27th January 2015:
Hello again, Maggie! Happy (Belated and Final) Hot Seat Day! ♥

This was, once again, fantastic.

Love the way your brought the Diadem into the story and how it seems to effect Rowena - at least through Helena's eyes.

Poor Helena here with this marriage talk. Oh Gareth... why couldn't you have just broken the traditional route of asking for a girls hand in marriage without actually asking the girl herself first? hahaha That was such a backwards system those days. Also, in chapter one I was flip-flopping a bit between the brother's, but this makes me not want it to be Gareth anymore. TEAM... ah, shoot - what's the brother's name? It'll come to me later, I'm sure...

I love the way you used the Game of Thrones quote! It fit absolutely perfectly into this story and that moment! Excellent job!

It's crazy how much that diadem effects their relationship, turning Rowena harsher and colder than ever, and Helena bitter and resentful. I truly do feel sorry for the position Helena is in, with her mother so uncaring of what she wants. And it's very hypocritical of her too, considering that Rowena was never married and that she gets to make choices all her own because she is an intelligent, independent woman. I would think she would want the same for her daughter, and it's a real shame that she doesn't. Anyway, I just love the way you write them together - two forces to be reckoned with who each have trouble seeing the other's side.

I LOVE YOUR HELGA. Seriously, she is such a fantastic representation of our House. Reading your version of her makes me even prouder to be a Hufflepuff. :)

“I am a night-bird, cursed to walk the earth in human guise. But when the moon rises I will grow wings and be free. I am waiting for nightfall so that I can fly away from this place.” - What a gorgeous line, and one that I relate to greatly. Really lovely, Maggie. ♥


That entire scene with Helena, Helga, and Salazar was just perfect, and I love the relationships between them all - especially Salazar and Helga. Such a unique decision, and one that I hope to see a bit more in depth! Also, the continued exploration into the world of the diadem was really intriguing. I love all the choices you made surrounding it.

“But there are times,” Helena swallowed, “when it feels as though you would rather...create me than know me.” - THIS LINE. ♥

When she puts on that diadem... oh boy, I was, like... nervous for her; afraid of what it might do to her. Clearly it helped her make some sort of decision. I'm wondering if the decision isn't to get rid of the diadem entirely! hahaha I mean, she does do that eventually - hide it away - and how ironic would it be if the diadem's disappearance is influenced directly by the diadem influencing Helena? Either way, I love the little cliffhanger you left us on!

This was an another excellent chapter, Maggie. I'm really enjoying this story so far. ^.^


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Review #12, by writeyourheartoutKeeping Secrets: Enough

26th January 2015:
Hi Jayde! Happy Hot Seat Day! :)

Ah, that opening paragraph! My heart! It's so sad. Especially the George part. :(

I really like the choice to have Molly trying to lead the pack back to some semblance of normalcy, because she's the Momma! And the fact is that while she lost Fred, she still has six other children that I'm certain she is desperate to care for; that as much pain as she is in, seeing her children in pain is just as terrible, if not more so.

What's nearly as upsetting is the fact that after this terrible, huge ordeal - both the war itself and the loss of George with it - is the fact that they now have to deal with reporters searching for a scoop! Unbelievable. The poor Weasley's. And Harry and Hermione too, I'm sure. They all did so much for the war and then lost so many they cared about and I'm certain the last thing they want is to relive it for some nosy reporter who doesn't care about their loss, but is just looking for something juicy to publish.

I completely understand Charlie's need to escape. I think it's good that he stayed for as long as did, to heal at least as much as he could while at home, but there does come a point when you have to recognize whether getting caught in this same routine is holding you back from healing or anything else. But I do feel bad for Molly. I hope his leaving doesn't make her feel like she's losing another child. ♥

As sad as the moment when Charlie finally breaks down is, I'm glad he did it. It's so much harder to move forward when you suppress all of your feelings.

Ugh, of course Rita Skeeter has to show up! :(

What horrible questions to ask! She is just the worse! And she shows absolutely no sympathy for him, but instead gets excited when he's clearly horrified by her awful inquiries! I hate her. But, on the plus side, you wrote her fantastically. :-p


So, the further along this scene with her goes, I start to wonder is there a reason she's being so incredibly vicious here? I mean, Rita was nasty in the books, but I don't think she was ever quite like this. She sounds vindictive - like she's not there to interview him, but to purposefully make him suffer. She usually tries to soften the blow of her awful questions by at least pretending to be sympathetic, but she sounds almost like Umbridge here. But maybe there's a bigger reason for that...?

It's still so sad that Charlie blames himself, but it obviously wasn't his fault. I hope that if this ridiculous report hits the press, his family makes sure he knows that nobody blames him.

That is if they can find him... Where's he going!? Poor thing, essentially exiling himself. :(

Anyway, another great chapter, Jayde! Well done! ♥


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Review #13, by writeyourheartoutSeized: Could the Timing be Any Worse?

25th January 2015:
Dee! I'm back for more! Happy Hot Seat Day! ^.^

Aww. This really is a sweet opening - or maybe bittersweet, considering what happens to them soon enough. But still, it's really nice to see you give them a real chance as a couple, who fight and make-up and try to move forward. Hermione choosing to cook Ron's favorite meal for him, followed by his actual acceptance of the gift just goes to show that they really don't walk away from this relationship without having tried hard to make it work first. I really love that choice. Oh! And I read your review response that talked about wanting Ron and Hermione's break-up to be entirely about them and not influenced by Draco at all, and I think that was just a brilliant choice that's reflected in every Ron/Hermione scene. :)

I love seeing Hermione thriving in her work environment and truly making a difference. She's so great, and your version of her always feels so authentic.

I have to mention as well that your minor original characters are all so great! If I remember correctly, Loretta Fleets and Corrigan Riggs are really only briefly seen throughout the story, but even so, you've made them both so three-dimensional in this chapter alone.

Hermione flooed straight back to the flat, intent on spending the rest of the day cleaning the flat by hand rather than magic, it was so rare for her to have the time to do it. - Bahaha! Finally a decent amount of time off in which she doesn't plan on devoting to additional note-taking and planning AND SHE WANTS TO SPEND IT CLEANING MUGGLE-STYLE? And she actually sounds excited too! LOL Crazy girl. (I hate cleaning, in case you couldn't tell! :-p)

Oh, Draco and Astoria... Such a lovely, ridiculous, excessive wedding announcement. Especially considering... Well, seeing as I know where this leads in the most recently added chapter... hahaha Let's just say there are a lot of things I could say right now, but... yeah. Just imagine me throwing shade their direction. ;)

So I've said this to you a lot, but I'm gonna say it again because I can't help it: I just love the way you so slowly build the Draco/Hermione relationship. And even though he's not really even in this chapter, you still lay a foundation here that makes me need to mention it again. For example, the fact that they actually both went back for '8th' year to graduate Hogwarts properly, but they didn't have any sort of relationship there. Or the fact that when she sees his face in the paper, there's no mention of, "Oh, he's sooo preeetty!" haha And also that she works in the same building as him, but they have no relationship. I just think all of that's so great because it feels the most realistic that neither would try to grow closer without a reason too; that it takes being forced to work together on a case to get them to progress.

Gah, the fight! I can so imagine that going down the way it did. I really understand Ron's frustration, although I understand Hermione's reasoning as well. Neither are wrong in the way that they feel, but that's kind of why it's such a bad fight to be having - especially when neither wants to budge on their side of things. Again, just gotta comment on the complete plausibility of this story. ^.^

Side-Note: The Floo Network is so invasive! LOL I mean, you can literally land inside someone else's house without even knocking! But congrats to Harry and Ginny and their excellent timing! :-p

Another wonderful chapter, Dee! ♥


P.S. I hope this review puts a smile on your face. Especially because I need it to soften the blow when I tell you that LJ6 will not be posted today. DON'T YELL AT ME! IT WASN'T MY FAULT! My brother is in town and I forgot he was coming and so I haven't even been home since Friday morning... That's a pretty valid excuse, yeah? hahaha LOVE YOU. (And you love me, too. Don't forget that. ;))

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Review #14, by writeyourheartout(Who) Needs Horcruxes?: Legend

24th January 2015:
Hello Karen! Happy (Belated) Hot Seat Day! ♥


‘The legend is that this individual is capable of time travel without the use of a timeturner. He also carries a metallic wand perhaps far more powerful than the fabled Elder Wand. And finally that he holds the true secrets of immortality, able to regenerate when he is close to death.’ - I love this. I love the parallels and comparisons and connections you drew between each item of the Doctor's and how exceedingly helpful they would be for Voldemort. I mean... I can't believe how perfectly the Doctor's abilities and items fit into Voldemort's desires for world domination! It's absolutely brilliant!

I also love the point in time you decided to write this in - while Voldemort has realized all but one of his horcruxes has been compromised and his so-called immortality has considerably waned. He's now desperate for a back-up plan, and the Doctor, with his ability to regenerate, is just absolute perfection.

INTO THE TARDIS! Vroom vroom. ;)

To be entirely honest, I'm not actually caught up 100% on Doctor Who at the moment, and have only seen the first Clara episode, so I probably can't offer too much input on her character, but... MATT SMITH. ELEVEN. Love him.

And I think you did him fantastically! You really captured his quirkiness and oddities and I could hear every line of his in Matt Smith's voice and picture all his little mannerisms perfectly. The whole Rubik's Cube ordeal is too funny, and something I could definitely see the Doctor partaking in. Really well-done!

Why must he always do this ‘do it now and ask questions later’? - Bahaha! Yeah, he totally does that. :-p

I LOVE that you chose to acknowledge Harry Potter and all subsequent HP related things to be an actual book and a fictional scenario they've been sucked into! Too much fun!

Before I wrap this review up, I wanted to tell you that I do see an improvement in the technical details from the first story I read of yours to this most recent one now, which is great! I would say concentrate on comma's - those seem to be your greatest weakness. You tend to under-use. I would maybe suggest that the next time you're writing/editing a story/chapter, that you read it slowly out loud to yourself and listen for the natural pauses and throw a comma in! Then, instead of, "No Clara you’re not.", you might hear yourself speak it more like, "No, Clara, you're not." But it was still really a great improvement overall! Congrats! I know you're working hard on it and it shows! ♥

Anyway, this is an excellent start to your story! I can't wait to see what happens next! It sounds like you have a really great plan for the future of this story and I'm very excited to see how it all plays out! Yay!


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Review #15, by writeyourheartoutWolf Like Me: O here comes that moon

22nd January 2015:
Oh, you know, was just passing by... figured I ought to review a lovely person such as yourself on this fine night. ^.^

(Plus, when I saw you'd written a Remus/Sirius fic, I was clearly done for, cause looove them.)


And not just wow, but WOW.

This is just... beyond gorgeous. It's stunning, really. It's so poetic and articulate and poignant and just... truly masterful. This review stands no chance at doing this story justice. Apologies in advance.

I loved this. I love the way you describe each of the characters, the way you explain their actions, the way you make even something so simple as walking - Each step cracks twigs and dry leaves, but this forest has learned our names. - feel like the most beautiful, heavy, and significant of things.

I'm fighting myself very hard not to just copy and paste this entire story into this review and yell, "THIS WAS MY FAVORITE PART." Although it would be true. But I'm gonna show the tiniest bit of self-control and limit my quotes to only a select few. *fingers twitch anxiously*

This paragraph:

Years. Years of stolen hours, dust-sticky potions bottles, spent learning to mirror my malady. They cracked their bones and carved their bodies into beasts, until that Curse just blinked down at empty fingers. They’d ripped my tragedy from her grip, transforming it the way that she transforms me. We stole back those swollen-moon nights, and avenged every scratching, howling hour.

Wow. It is just perfectly stated. I love this idea that they stole back the full-moon nights; that they took what was a terrible tragedy, an imprisonment, a life-sentence of cruel obedience, and just recaptured it back for themselves, refused to let it win, to let it steal anymore of Remus' freedom. It's a beautiful thought. So many feels.

And then this guy here: No one's nightmare more than my own. - Gah. This line kills me because it is so, so true. I love Remus so much, he's my absolute favorite character, and it never fails to break my heart knowing that he feels this way about himself.

And I can't finish this review without mentioning my absolute adoration for the way you depicted Remus and Sirius as a pair here. Honestly, I can't even articulate what I want to say about it, so please forgive me. Just... yes. Yes to it all. Yes, yes, yes. ♥

Absolutely brilliant, Roisin.




And especially for pointing out that one paragraph, it was actually the one I felt least confident about, so THANK YOU!

I've written some poetry over the years, but never been super keen on any one piece as a whole. But they all had little phrases or sentences I liked, so I basically shoved them all together here because I discovered my love for WolfStar and needed to write it.

And I'm really glad that, as a Remus fan, you liked this story! I realize I went kind of OOC, at least considering the language here, but I thought I could hand wave it with WOLF MIND!

Anyway, AH, thank you so much for this review!


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Review #16, by writeyourheartoutRed: She Did It

22nd January 2015:
Hello Maelody! ^.^

I couldn't help but notice the incredible number of reviews you've been leaving people lately, and so I just wanted to return the favor! It's honestly so kind of you and I know you've made a ton of people just beyond happy with your generosity and warmth! ♥

This is so adorable! I love James/Lily and I think you did an excellent job showcasing how they might have finally come together!

I think your choice to write the story in this setting, where they're on rounds together, was a really clever decision. It allowed for a slow build between them; a tale in which we weren't thrown head-first into massive amounts of fluff and flirtations and sugary-sweetness that just always feels like too much right at the beginning of a fic. Instead we get to see them interact almost like a normal pair of friends, with just small moments of cuteness here and there that slowly built towards the ending (WHICH I SHALL SQUEE ABOUT LATER IN THIS REVIEW. OMG.)

I'm also really glad you included the effects of the war in this story, too. A lot of Marauder stories - James/Lily fics in particular - tend to gloss over the fact that horrible things are happening around them because they'd rather write something strictly fluffy or funny, but the inclusion makes their relationship and the fact that they're drawn more towards each other now feel all the more authentic and purposeful.

Omg, this Forbidden Forrest date between Sirius and Alice sounds hilarious! I can only imagine what in the world they got up to in there! You could totally write a companion piece to this about the date, you know... ;)

THE WAY SHE ASKS HIM OUT IS JUST TOO FLIPPIN' CUTE! *SQUEE* It was totally unexpected, too! Well, I mean, I assumed something would happen between them before the end of the story, but I was not even somewhat expecting it to be that or to have been done in that fashion! hahaha It was adorably awkward and entirely perfect.

And then James is such a little twerp about it! Bahahaha Too funny. "I dunno." - LOL

Awww! The ending is just beyond squee-worthy! When he shouts it out in the hall that she asked him out... hahaha So many feels. I'm all smiles now. And the fact they stayed up all night talking and sharing memories is so sweet. I'm all giddy, Mae. I love these two together. ♥

So, my only critique is that I noticed you change tenses rather often between past and present. Here's a good example: “Hey, cheer up now.” James awkwardly *nudged Lily’s side, not sure of what else to do. She **sniffles and looks up, putting the summer in the past. Nothing good ever came out of worrying. James ***was right. This ** **is their seventh year, and they had to make the best out of it. James *** **continued once he figured it was safe to do so. - *past tense **turns to present ***turns back to past ** **turns back to present *** **turns back to past - I think the majority of the story was told in past tense, so if you decide to go back and edit, I would keep an eye out for any present tense words/moments! But even with those little details, the story was still a complete joy to read!

You did a really great job with this, Mae. I thoroughly enjoyed it! And thank you again for the massive amounts of incredible reviews you've been passing out. I know you've made endless people's day with your kind words, and I hope my review does the same for you. ♥


Author's Response: Tanya! You're the sweetest! *hugs*

Just so you know, you came just a tad bit too early! I already have this back in the queue because I read it through when it was validated and edited it once more. So hopefully, if you come back to it ever, you'll notice I already made those changes! But thank you for pointing them out. I've grown way more conscious of them, but they're still my weakness! :)

Really, hun. You're too sweet. Honestly, I just wanted people to get reviews they deserved. I've decided from now on, there will never be a story that I read where I don't review it. I'm not really all that helpful with my reviews, but I like to make their days. Even if I do sort of leave slews of reviews for people to read... ;)

I'm glad you like it. :3 I sort of worried about this installment because I think it's the weakest of the four (it took a lot more thought of what should go in it than the others did) and I was worried how it would come out to others.

I have a theme that I want to follow with these four installments when they're all out. I won't spoil it now, but the rounds just sort of fit in perfectly with it. I didn't want to show the moment where she finally fell for him, or what she would do if he did something romantic. I wanted to show something where a lot of that has already happened, and this is just the time that she decided: "You know what? Now is the time I think we can go on a date."

Yay! I'm so happy you liked that, too! I (again) worried about that for the exact reasons you stated. People like the fluffy, funny side of the marauder era. Sometimes, it's almost like people forget Voldemort was really taking ownership here. There were giants rampaging. Lily and James defeated him three trice before the tender age of 21.

Oooh, that'd be fun! ;) Maybe, one day. If I ever find time after the other billion fics I want to write! xD

I like adorably awkward Lily. I mean, she was friends with Snape, who was always awkward. So she couldn't have been totally put together in the sense that she didn't have an odd thought here or there. I hate always mad Lily, though I know she has a temper, but always for good reason. She's just one of those characters I totally want to get to know better, because I think she would do something like this. This little short story is something that'll end up being sorta like what my head-canon between the two would have been like. :3

Ahhh, James. He couldn't let her get by with a casual asking out, now could he? There's gotta be something that causes a bit of a challenge in there. ;)

D'aaw. I'm glad you're all giddy. Thanks! :3 I'm just incredibly happy you enjoyed it! I love your writing, so it sort of makes me squee over here too that you read something of mine. :3 Thank you so much, Tanya! Honestly, you're such a doll for coming over here! *hugs*


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Review #17, by writeyourheartoutLike Clockwork: Antiquity

21st January 2015:
Hello again, Leigh! And Happy Belated Hot Seat Day! ^.^

I love the way this begins! It's immediately intriguing! Must. Know. What's. Happening. O_O

Oh wow. Witch-burning. That's crazy. You write it so well, though. I can feel her panic as well as the haste and disgust and fear of the crowd trying to rid themselves of her 'evil'. The action is great, palpable. And the way we slowly come to realize that this girl, who truly believed she was not a witch and would of course wrongfully burn at the stake, is actually surviving it and is in fact a witch after all.

I also love the way you write this - the more formal, old-fashioned feel of the story carries itself really well here. You capture the era of burning witches really well. Although, I have to admit, I am a bit confused, because isn't this a Sirius/OC fic? But maybe it's AU and I didn't notice... Or perhaps there's simply more to this story than currently meets the eye... Interesting... *continues on*

The way you weave her belief in God and Satan and Heaven and Hell into this is flawless. And the struggles she faces because of her beliefs, because of her fears of what witchcraft implies, was such a clever choice to include, and it really adds a whole other layer to this opening.

The further I read into this second section, the more confused and curious I become! Who is this girl?? If she's only eleven, how can this be her return to the castle? And what did he mean by one too many spins? I feel like I'm missing a big piece of the puzzle! hahaha But I assume this is your intention - to slowly let us in on the secrets surrounding Cecily. And it's working brilliantly, I must say. I am beyond intrigued.

“You see, Miss Mason, this is not our first turn in this scene of your life.” - Whaaa'?!?! This is so crazy interesting! And now my questions from earlier regarding the writing style of this story versus it being a Marauders-era fic makes a lot more sense. Very cool! What a neat idea!

Also... WHAT'S THE THING SHE CREATED?? Dude, I am so hooked. hahaha

“Let us imagine I send you five minutes ahead of now. I tell you that I rather enjoy singing. Then I send you back to now. ... You would not remember the words I told you. Until five minutes pass, and you experience the moment I once sent you forward into. Then, while we may hold a different conversation, you will remember the words I told you.” - Well, this is a neat concept! But he wouldn't remember?? This is crazy and I love it.

And way to leave us on a bit of a cliffhanger. :-p

A few minor details:

The flames flickered up into my throat, my tongue aflame and teeth burning, flames flicking through my pinched lips. - There's a lot of 'flame'-age in this sentence and it feels just a little heavy-handed; too repetitive. Sometimes this sort of repetition can really work for a story, but I think in this case it's taking away from what is otherwise a great opening. Plus, in the sentence that immediately follows this one, you use the word again. And in the paragraph following that sentence, you repeat the word 'aflame'. It's just a bit too much of the same thing one right after the other, is all. I'm definitely not saying get rid of them altogether, only to be a bit more selective about which ones to keep.

They pulled me tight, digging nails into my flesh, *knifes and pitchforks puncturing the skin on my back, throat, arm. - *the plural of knife is knives

Where I came from, men were anything but to a lady, especially a young one such as *yourself. - *Whoops! Switched to second person here. Should be 'myself'.

And that's it! This is brilliant. It's incredibly unique, endlessly intriguing, and very well-written. You're off to a fantastic start with this story and I look forward to seeing how it all plays out! Great job!

Tanya ♥

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Review #18, by writeyourheartoutNine and a Half: Nine and a Half

21st January 2015:
Hello Julie! Happy Belated Hot Seat Day! :-D

So, after having read and thoroughly enjoyed the prequel, I just had to follow it up with this guy! Yayz! ^.^

Awww! Did they end up together?? For some reason the summary had me thinking that Teddy had ended up with someone else, only to think back wistfully on what might have been! How sweet that they're married now! I was totally not expecting that, but it's got me all smiles! ^.^

Omg, wolfies. ♥ That just warms my heart. I am such a huge Remus fan, so the idea of his little grandchildren running around playing a game almost in his honor is just so wonderful. FEELS.

They're so cute together, all cuddled up in bed, as their children behave as all children do Christmas morning... hehehe And they definitely should have heeded Harry's advice about living under the staircase! My bedroom at my house growing up was practically under the steps as well and there is no cushioning the thunder that be! hehehe

“Daddy, you don’t call Santa, you write to him or visit him at the mall,” Dora’s response came back. - LOL That 'mall' bit made me chuckle. :-p

HEAD OF HUFFLEPUFF?! LOVE IT! All of these Hot Seat reviews have introduced me to so many new stories, and a TON of them feature Puff characters! I absolutely adore seeing our House represented in so many places and in such a positive light. ♥

Bahahaha These poor guys. Can't ever seem to get quite enough alone time before the kids interrupt. Remind me to never have children... :-p

BUT OH NO, THEY'RE FIGHTING?! And then thiiis line: “I thought you said Puffies don’t lie.” - Gah! *heart breaks*

"It would make my very happy if I could see you smile before I had to get on the train." - Oh man, it must be so hard to be a teacher at Hogwarts when you have a family at home. :(

“I don’t think you should fight with Papa anymore. He gets very sad at home when you are not there.” - This review has basically just turned into me quoting your characters, BUT ZOMG, THEIR LINES MAKE ME SO SAD-FACE! But hey, at least that last one got James and Teddy to make-up before the train took off, right? So I forgive you. ;)

Anyway, this was just as adorable as the first installment! I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love your versions of both James and Teddy, I love the family and life you built for them, and I love their relationship with one another. Such a sweet story. Great job, my dear!


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Review #19, by writeyourheartoutMy (Fake) Wedding: Welcome to my Crappy Life

21st January 2015:
Hello again, Aimee! And Happy Belated Hot Seat Day! ♥

I really like how this begins with a bit of mystery - with you dangling some hidden information about Elle's dad right in front of our eyes, but refusing to let us in on the secret. Super intriguing! I must know all the things. :-p

HAHAHA A ONESIE TO DINNER? I shall marry him at once. ;) I really enjoy the little touches of comedy laced throughout the story. Makes for a very cute, fun read!

Ruari! That's a cool name! Never heard it before, but I'm really quite loving it. Did you come up with it yourself?? Ruuuaaariii. ♥

I like that we're learning about your OC through her actions and interactions with her family, rather than simply through a list of things you tell us about her. I always find that when people write sentence after sentence - and sometimes paragraph after paragraph - about who their character is as a person, what their past was like, what their present is like, etc. etc., it just becomes sooo explainy and rather boring, too. Throwing her into this hectic environment where she's kind of down on her luck and stuck living with her sister's family was a really great decision. And then we get a bit more of a glimpse into her more socialized personality when she goes out with her friends. I'm liking Elle so far; she seems like a good OC to base a story around. I look forward to seeing how she develops in upcoming chapters!

ALSO! She's a Hufflepuff! I love when I read characters from our beloved House! Excellent choice, if I do say so myself. ;)

Oh ho! What have we here? “Honestly, he’s *being going out with this ‘girl’ for over 2 years now and he didn’t think we’d like to meet her? I’m starting to believe she’s not real.” - *been - I think I can see where this plot may be heading... hahaha Very nice. ^.^

A few minor notes:

“Can anyone else *here that tapping?” - *hear

Something I notice you don't do is type out your small numbers, which is something that I'm sure a lot of people don't care about (and please ignore this entirely if you prefer it as is), but that I also know is a general rule of thumb when it comes to grammar guidelines. I've read one rule that says it should be applied for all numbers ten and under, and others that say twenty and under. I prefer twenty and under because, in my opinion, it just makes the writing look more formal, more advanced, and of higher quality. I just think that when they aren't spelled out, they tend to negatively stick out - draw my eye in an aesthetically displeasing way.

For example: I’ll just say this, my Dad didn’t speak to me for 2 years after it. - I would consider changing it to: I’ll just say this, my Dad didn’t speak to me for two years after it.

And, in case you do decide to apply those edits, here are some other places I noticed them:

- I got kicked out of my apartment last week because I couldn’t pay the rent for the last 3 months so I’m basically hopping from house to house.
- “Honestly, he’s being going out with this ‘girl’ for over 2 years now and he didn’t think we’d like to meet her?
- It was lovely, roomy even, but it wasn’t ideal because she had two children that were 6 and 3 respectively and both of them were already showing signs of magical capabilities. - In this example, you actually use both types: two, 6, and 3. If you decide to stick with the non-spelled out versions, I would at least suggest changing 'two' to 2 here, simply for consistencies sake. (But none of it's actually a big deal, so I wouldn't worry all that much if you don't feel like editing at all. :-p)

I would also say watch out for comma's. You tend to use them a little too often in a sentence where it's not needed so that it makes the sentence read a bit bumpy and a lot less fluid than it would otherwise be. Comma's are the worst, though. I don't think anyone ever gets them right all the time. *glares at own writing*

Anyway, all minor details, and please feel free to ignore them! ^.^

Overall, this was a very enjoyable and intriguing opening chapter! I expect I'll be back here very soon! Good job, Aimee!

Tanya ♥

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Review #20, by writeyourheartoutAlong the Astral Plane: Autumnal Point

20th January 2015:
Hiya Maggie! Happy Belated Round Two Hot Seat Day! (That's a mouthful, huh? :-p)

Well sheesh, Maggie. Your writing continues to surprise me in the greatest way imaginable. This was fantastic!

First of all, the way you handle writing this era - jumping back in time to the language and customs and everything else - is just incredible. It feels so authentic. You very clearly have an excellent grasp on the life and times of this day and age, because it's reflected in every turn of phrase. I can't even imagine the amount of effort it takes to accurately tackle this type of story, but you make it look easy. Really phenomenal job.

Your characterization is something else I just adore! I love each person we were introduced to - even if only briefly - and how they all felt so real, so three-dimensional already, even in these small glimpses. It was particularly interesting to see how different many of the Founders kids are compared to their parents. Helena is obviously very different from her mother, regardless of their sharing the same House, and therefore some basic traits. Then all of the Gryffindor's clearly have some differences between them, each just as fascinating as the next. I do hope to see more of Belden in later chapters! He sounds like a blast. :-p

(Side-Note: Is Godric dead in this story??)

Also, I got super excited when Helga entered the picture. *high fives Head of House* :-p “They will think I am a sentimental old woman,” she replied, and Helena’s arm received the expected swat. “Oh, but this is just my bliss overflowing, my loves. You are all home once more, and my heart is full.” - Dawww! She's so sweet. Especially compared to the harshness of Rowena! haha

Gareth is a great character so far, too! I can't decide between him and Belden, though, as far as who I want to ship with Helena! hehehe I guess I'll have to make those decisions as the story progresses... Although this one line here really did have me pulling for Belden: Belden Gryffindor, his shaggy red hair gleaming in the candlelight, was showing off for one of the village girls. Helena laughed aloud at his gallant bow, so at odds with the loud, unruly boy she had always known, and vowed to tease him about it later. No doubt Belden would have an impossibly witty counter in mind; there was no one in the castle better suited to a meeting of the minds. - hahaha They just sound pretty great together, but maybe just as friends! We shall see, huh? ;)

Either way, whichever path you choose, I am super excited to see how this all unfolds! I can't deny that Gareth and Helena definitely had great chemistry, though. You write them really well together. And this line was really sweet after she mentions her looks: “That is not your only quality. It is simply the easiest to notice.” - Dawww. ^.^

I love that this chapter ended with a bit of mystery revolving around the black-haired man. And she already danced with him! Uh oh! I suspect we'll be seeing more of him in upcoming chapters. (I just had a random thought: Is he the Bloody Baron, who ends up killing Helena?? ...Is that even how her canon story goes? I'm grasping at some vague memories, to be honest... hahaha Can you tell I'm not that familiar with the Founder's era? :-p)

Another brilliant beginning to a story, Maggie! I'm really glad the Hot Seat continues to bring me around to your writing, because you're swiftly becoming a favorite of mine! ♥


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Review #21, by writeyourheartoutCarpe Aestatem: I Reckon

20th January 2015:

James Potter didn’t fancy blokes. - MUAHAHAHA! JUST YOU WAIT, SIR. *SQUEE*

And yet. - Nailed it.

Oh! Love that Sirius is gay as well. I wonder if that means Remus will, in the end, be with Sirius? Love me some WolfStar, too. Dude, if this is James/Remus that eventually leads to even just implications of Remus/Sirius... I may die of happiness. There may be too much amazing in one story for my heart to handle. My palms are sweaty. SORCERESS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME ALREADY? I'M LIKE FIVE PARAGRAPHS IN. (Although, a few paragraphs later and it looks like they might not be a good match after all. Either way, I'm beyond ecstatic about this story! :-p)

Your dialogue is just brilliant. I love the way James and Sirius interact in this scene by the lake. I can't quote most of it (because M swears!) but it's just spot on how I imagine them. ♥

GAH. AWW. WHEN SIRIUS SAYS REMUS DOESN'T LIKE... -le cough- AND THEN JAMES ASK IF HE'S A... -le double cough- MY HEART HAS MELTED. (Also, I may require a lozenge.)

Dawww, he's gonna quit smoking for Reeemus. ♥

He regretted it almost the moment he said it – it was fine to joke around when it was the four of them, and the sort of banter that would border on flirtatious to the uninitiated was par for the course – but it was a different story when it was just him and Remus and they skirted too close to truth. - Ugh, I just love your writing. ♥

Hahahaha Omg. Again with your dialogue - this time between James and Remus. *squee* It's so wonderful.

I'm trying really hard not to just quote this entire story back at you, BUT PLEASE FORGIVE THIS ONE BECAUSE I CAN'T NOT: Remus put down his quill. “All right.” His face was impassive, his voice toneless. It was one of the worst things about him, his ability to mask any emotion and tuck it neatly behind some façade or other that suited his needs (and one of the most alluring, because there was some primal part of James that wanted to strip him of that ability – maybe for a moment, maybe for an eternity; he wasn’t picky). - ♥

AND THE KISS. Gah. It's perfect. All of it. Everything. This is phenomenal. I am so happy right now, I can't even. Like... I don't have any more articulate words to offer, because my brain has disconnected. Seriously, this is... I'm so beyond happy with what you've done with my prompt. I knew you were the right person to give it to.

And on that note... I just have to thank you so, so much for writing this story for me. And I can't even begin to fathom how quickly you were able to run with the inspiration and still create such an incredible chapter in so short a time! Teach me your ways. You are just so wonderful. I am in love with this and I cannot wait for chapter two! Eep!


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Review #22, by writeyourheartoutIcarus: Prologue

20th January 2015:

What in the world is happening in this story. O_O

I feel I should state that I mean that in the best way possible! :-p But seriously, what is going on!?! hahaha

That opening is just beyond intriguing. Everything about it is a mystery to me at the moment - one I'm pretty desperate to figure out! Like... who's the Captain?? And if the majority of this story is from Lily's POV, WHAT DID SHE DO TO CAUSE THINGS. This line: Lily tried to change history and see what could have been, and only burned in the end. - UM WHAT?!!! Must know more.

Remembrance Day ♥ And what you said about how days like that do fade as time passes... Too true. It's so much sadder when you put it into this perspective for me, as well. Doesn't seem right we should forget or stop caring so much about such important days where the lives of so many brave people were lost. :(

HAHAHA The names thing is hilarious. You're always so brilliant with humor.

And details, too! (I mean, really everything - let's be honest - but humor and details are what I'm focusing on at the moment, so there.) Like the way you introduce us into her home-life via small glimpses of her roommates - a social life, what's that? - and how Arthur has influenced Albus to start up a plug collection! hahaha Already your characters feel so three-dimensional to me.

Lily, naturally, stands out above the rest. I love the comparison to her namesake and how people expect that she'll magically take after Lily Evans simply because she was named after her, when in reality she's quite different - and in a way that seems to not be ideal. Poor thing. But I love it - she feels so authentic and substantial as a person, and her dry humor is perfection. I'm really loving being inside her head and following her narration. You've crafted an excellent version of Lily, my dear. ^.^

AND THEN THE ENDING. HELLO! I see what's a-brewing here now! AND I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT. Well... except clearly something goes terribly wrong, doesn't it? hahaha I have no idea what's in store for this fic, and that absolutely thrills me. I'm very excited to see where it all goes.

This is a great first chapter, Kristin - just like everything you write! Stahp being so amazing. (Just kidding, don't stahp.) - I learned that trick from your Lily. ;)


Author's Response: Aw! Your reviews always put such a smile on my face!

Um, yes. This story is weird. I feel like there needs to be a warning for that, or at least I should put in a disclaimer or something so people know what they're getting into. ADVISORY: BIZARRE. :p But yeah, 'what is going on?' is pretty much the reaction I was going for :p

MUAHAHA. Things that will be explained later. Much later. :P

I'm so glad you like the idea of a Remembrance Day. It is sad when you think about it, how a lot of today's holidays are just days, and there's no longer as much attention put on why it's a day off work and such.

Haha, glad you liked the bit about the names. The names in the epilogue were my least favourite thing about the HP series. :p Sometimes this story is less of a fanfic and more a chance for me to comment on things under the guise of a fictional character XD

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like the details as a way of introducing characters, as well as the glimpses into her life, family and friends.

I think having the same name as someone does invite comparisons, and in Lily (II)'s case where her namesake is such a hero, Lily doesn't really compare favourably - at least not at the moment when she's unemployed and kind of jaded. I am so glad to hear she feels like an authentic person! Thank you!

Ehehehe. If everything went well, there would be no story! :P

Aw, thank you! Stahp making me blush with your amazing compliments! :P

(10 points to Hufflepuff if you can actually understand me.)

♡ ♡

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Review #23, by writeyourheartoutA Tulip and a Weasley: Tulips, tulips

19th January 2015:

I am so far behind it isn't even funny, but I wanted to make sure that I got one delivered to you before I fall too far behind on Round Three as well! (I've not exactly been rocking the art of Time Management since maybe Christmas... :-p)

Hahaha! This is too funny. Oh Percy, you ridiculous fool... :-p I love how even though this is a parody, it still captures the essence of Percy. He's almost a caricature of himself at certain points in the books, with his over-dramatics and arrogance and the way he speaks so formally. You really can't help but make fun of him a bit, right?

No one saw fit to tell him that the old Archie Holmes was mostly deaf and was probably sleeping with his eyes open. Percy, in his eagerness to share his views about the Ministry's proposal for next year's budget, failed to notice this. - LOL Don't lie to me, Emmi: you enjoyed torturing him, didn't you? ;)

To him, the tulips were family, like his own children. He knew each of them by name and wept for every wilted flower. - HAHAHAHA Omg. ♥ Too funny. And pretty darn sad as well. Methinks Percy needs to get himself a girlfriend. hahaha

Omg, his disguise!!! LOL Wow. That's some subtle Muggle-wear, Perce. Nailed it. hehehe

The images this story is conjuring up in mind are just so hilarious. This right here: They would understand if he told them he had spent sleepless nights worrying about whether the fertilizer he had used was too strong for his tulips or that repotting them was one of the most exciting phases in growing plants – because his babies were all grown up now – or that he had wept for two days when one of his favourite tulips, named Muriel for his formidable great-aunt, had finally lost the battle to old age and wilted. - HAHAHA *wipes tear*

AND THEN THIS: Percy was certain that Voldemort would have never tried to take over the wizarding world if he had simply directed his excess energies into repotting and fertilizing flowers. - Yep. Totally, Percy. That's EXACTLY what good ol' Voldie's been missing his whole life! A little therapeutic gardening! hahaha So funny.

Side-Note: Sorry to keep quoting things back at you, but they're cracking me up! :-p

What would happen to his family if someone found out – or, more importantly, to his precious flowers? - MORE IMPORTANTLY? REALLY, PERCY? COME ON.

LOVE how Penelope Clearwater shows up! AND THE WAY HE LIES TO HER. Innocentius Moreton! LOL And now all that's left is for Percy and his tulips to take on the world. For it is their destiny. Great things and all that. :-p

This was so funny, Emmi. How versatile an author you are! I sincerely enjoyed it! Great job!


Author's Response: Hey Tanya!

I'm so glad you liked this! This was my first attempt at writing a parody, or humour as a genre, so I had no idea how well I had done. I was worried I had overdone the parody (I suppose that's the whole point of the parody, but still).

Percy was surprisingly easy to turn into a parody because he's so pompous and self-important. He almost begs of being put into a humourous story! And yes, I did enjoy every second of it. :D

If you asked him, he would say he doesn't need a girlfriend. He's got his flowers to fill in that void. :)

I had so much fun coming up with a disguise for Percy. I suppose that, in reality, he is more up to date about the Muggle fashion - but where's the fun in that? I'm glad that you enjoyed the images as much as I did when I was writing them!

I'm almost certain that gardening has a positive effect on people but I'm not sure - I try spend as little time doing garden chores as possible... What I'm absolutely certain is that if forced to choose between his family and his flowers, Percy would choose the flowers. In a heartbeat. Yep.

He lied to Penelope because he didn't want anyone to find out he was going to a plant competition but I'm afraid that by now everyone knows... Rita Skeeter's Quick-Quotes Quill died of happiness. But mark my words, soon every student at Hogwarts will have to take a course to learn to raise tulips. It's all for the sake of the future of wizarding world, after all. :D

Thanks for reviewing this!

- Emmi

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Review #24, by writeyourheartoutCinnamon Rolls: The Legacy Lives On

15th January 2015:
Hello again Freda and Georgina, and Happy Hot Seat Day! ^.^

This was such a sweet story! I love the concept of it: a prank passed down from generation to generation (with slight alterations along the way).

"We made the orange juice look like milk..." HAHAHA! This cracked me up because I'VE SO BEEN THERE BEFORE! I once took a sip of what I thought to be water, but what turned out to actually be orange juice, and let me tell you... that is a SERIOUS blow to your mind and to your taste buds! I LOVE the brilliance and simplicity of that being the basis of a prank! Harmless, but extremely effective. This is why Remus is the greatest ever. ♥

"We Hufflepuffs are really spoiled being next to the kitchens, aren't we?" - LOL I'm not gonna lie, this is definitely something I considered when I chose to be in Hufflepuff. Easy kitchen access is the bomb. ;)

I really enjoyed all of the characters we saw, and how little details shown through - like Tonks' flowers, Teddy's clumsiness, and of course all the food-related gags and the way they each celebrated after a successful prank - with cinnamon rolls.


Really good job, you two; I enjoyed this very much. :)

P.S. I am absolutely craving cinnamon rolls now. *drools*

Author's Response: Hello Tanya!

Thank you for the review! We wrote this for Clare and included things only she would understand what we were nodding to and I (Georgina) was personally worried that others wouldn't understand it. But you did! Yay! I love all of the stuff you said here, reviews like yours satisfy the soul.

Little fun fact, we met Clare through cinnamon rolls. For the Yule Ball she posted a picture of them, I commented on how delicious they looked, she messaged us, and this story was the result.

Glad to hear how much you loved this story!

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Review #25, by writeyourheartoutLove is for Fools: Not a Fool

12th January 2015:

(Allow me to apologize ahead of time for the ridiculous amount of caps lock, squeeing, and quoting of your amazing story that will take place in this comment. Cause those three things make up about 99.9% of this review. Zomg.)

First of all... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WROTE ME A STORY! YOU INCREDIBLE, AMAZING, SNEAKY THING, YOU! Honestly, I'm blown away. What a truly wonderful surprise. I am just beyond touched. ♥

Friends, that’s what you were. Great friends; the best. He knew, of course, you both did, knew that there was something more and unspoken between you. It was there in his looks when he caught you staring as he laughed his carefree laugh. Just a look as if he was saying to you, ‘I know'. Knowing was never enough for you, nor for him, but neither of you ever acted upon your feelings. - I AM DEAD. OMG. Dee... omg. I can't even. I CAN'T EVEN IT'S SO PERFECT.

My heart. Like... Omg, REMUS! WAH! I just want to hold him forever, my little dumpling. ♥

Quietly you suffered, though you knew he was suffering too, but your friendship would suffer more should you ever act on the feelings. - THOSE DAMN PROUD FOOLS. YOU COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL! *sobs*

I'm so sorry to just be quoting back at you this entire story, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. I HAVE NO CONTROL. Real suffering came when you discovered what he had done, what you thought he had done to James and Lily for thirteen years. Still you loved him, you would love him no matter what, and that is when you knew he had been right: love is for fools. - *sobs more* MY HEART, DEE.

“Zonkos,” Sirius once told you, “if there is a heaven, I hope it’s exactly like Zonkos.” - And you hoped it was too. - SO MUCH SOBBING, OMG. That last line... Perfect. Like being kicked by someone wearing steel-toe boots right in the feels. I am dead.

Dee. I can't even. I can't even articulate.


Can we talk about how you also managed to squeeze two really difficult challenges into this as well? And you did it SO RIDICULOUSLY WELL. The ABC Challenge in exactly 500 Words. WHAT?! STAHP BEING SO TALENTED. (Just kidding, never stop. ♥)

In all seriousness, this is such a gorgeous story. It is stunningly written, beautifully descriptive, and it just wraps its little hands around your heart and squeezes the living daylights out of you. And the fact that it's dedicated to me... Honestly, Dee, I don't even know what to say. I'm blown away by your generosity and kindness every day, and no more so than right now. You are one of my absolute favorite people and I sort of want to book a flight to the UK, hunt you down, and just hug-attack you with love.

...This took a slightly creepy turn, but I stand by it. ;)

You are the absolute best. Thank you so, so much.

Tanya ♥

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