Reading Reviews From Member: The Luna
  
25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by The LunaDraco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus: Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus

16th April 2010:
Hey this story is cute! Oh so good :) Well written, and just sweet! Draco isn't OOC I think he'd be like that to his son :) Luna

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot!! :D Yeah, I hope Draco would be like that to his son ;) Thanks again!

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Review #2, by The LunaGoing North.: First and Only Chapter.

16th April 2010:
I've read this yay :) The only problem I could see is the spelling of one word is wrong, 'first' and early on in the one-shot. I really love this and can't wait to read more 'cause it's left open and just good! Luna

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Review #3, by The LunaBecause She Smiled: Because She Smiled

12th April 2010:
I can't tell you how good this is. The writing is brilliant. The characterisation is brilliant. The plot is brilliant - if sad, but what else should I expect. Amazing. Luna

Author's Response: LOL.. I'm glad yo liked it. I'm really falling in love with the whole Harry/Luna thing and it was nice to give her a it more depth/wisdom since more people seem to just write her off as "loony-lovegood." Hopefully I'll be able to get another Harry/Luna done soon ;)
Thanks for the R&R!
*huggles*
~Moon~


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Review #4, by The LunaMy Immortal: My Immortal

10th April 2010:
Well... yet again...wow. So bitter sweet. I love it. You made me sadded! Love it and well written! Luna (or Lu!)

Author's Response: oh Lu... lol.. I hope you took my advise and had a tissue ready.. lol I'm so glad you liked it :D Can't wait to make you cry again! lol
*huggles*
~Moon~


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Review #5, by The LunaOur Farewell: Our Farewell

10th April 2010:
Ohh wow. You were right about needing a tissue and how you write tear jerkers. Oh my days. I love it. It's so sad. Perfect and wel written. Luna (or Lu!)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D
At least you had the warning up front that I write a lot of tear-jerkers... lol. I can't wait to see what you think of the sequel... as well as anything else you get a chance to R&R *wunk wink nudge nudge* LOL

Thanks again!
*huggles*
~Moon~


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Review #6, by The LunaAngels are Demons in Disguise.: Answers.

6th April 2010:
I love this, I would love to see what happens to the two major couples now, you know... see how they get on but that is left to my imagination (which is preoccupied haha). I love this story, it is very interesting. Well done. Luna

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Review #7, by The LunaAngels are Demons in Disguise.: Detirmination.

6th April 2010:
Brilliant! I really love this :) Poor Draco, I really feel for him... and Hermione, that's what my mind is left on. Great writing, Luna

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Review #8, by The LunaAngels are Demons in Disguise.: Needing.

6th April 2010:
I love this :) They're a sweet couple...how old is Godric? This story is very good so far and I can't wait to read on * squeals in excitement* Luna

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Review #9, by The LunaAngels are Demons in Disguise.: Puzzle.

6th April 2010:
Heyy, I love this chapter. I can't wait to read more. I think I really love your portrayal of Godric, he';s so sweet. I love it and can't wait to read more. Luna

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Review #10, by The LunaAngels are Demons in Disguise.: Realisation.

6th April 2010:
Amazing :) Really well written and I can't wait to read more hehe. Draco is mean :L He's a 'rin though, us Gryffies are the nice ones :) Luna

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Review #11, by The LunaAngels are Demons in Disguise.: Don't Blink.

5th April 2010:
Hey, TheLuna here of course...or Luna :) I just had to review (since you let me read it) and I have to say this is really some good stuff! I mean, your characterisation is good (I've told you who I like most and that is because of their characterisation) and the idea is just great to! I can't wait to read more either! Luna

Author's Response: Hey yah Luna! Yes, I know I let you and I'm almost regretting it you know. You're making me blush!
I'm glad that you like the characterisation, did you...? *goes to check messages* Well I told you where the idea came from, and of course I sort of borrowed it from the brilliant mind of Russel T. Davies so it's all good.
Aren't you lucky though Luna, it's all finsihed so you don't have to wait!
OK thank you so much Luna for the absolutely wonderful review, and I hope you're going to like the rest of it!
icecrystal
xxx


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Review #12, by The LunaSocks.: No socks?

1st April 2010:
Hahahahaha oh I love this! Very 12- :) Well done, I love it so much. I can't wait to see what happens! Luna

Author's Response: hahaha...thanks so much for the review, and i'm glad you enjoyed the story! I'll make an update soon-ish!

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Review #13, by The LunaCoffee For Two: Coffee For Two

31st March 2010:
Let me begin with a hi, I'm The Luna of course and you asked me to review so here it is. I'll begin with the summary (I only talk about the title if needs be, and it is fine). So there isn't much of a summary I'm afraid, but I can see how it's hard for a longer one. Maybe you could add a line or two of what she says to lengthen it? Just a suggestion.

My first worry when looking at this one shot was the size, I think you may have said it was a problem of yours. I will suggest ideas at the end to help you lengthen this one shot if I can come up with any but you can also pm me (I'm 'TheLuna' and you requested for this on my 'The Luna's reviews' page). The size of this review may be short because of the length of this one shot, it shouldn't be a problem and I'll still help you as much as possible.

So the first paragraph, with the Londoners looking like scurrying rats was good. I think it is definitely your own style that comes across and it really works. I love the imagery. It sort of reminds me of Tim Burton, especially 'Corpse bride'. Good one. Was imagery a problem you had? Or maybe that was someone else because I like this.

As a reader I am interested in what is going on with 'Mistress Black', like why is there only one side to the conversation? I'm sure we'll find out, and it does keep a reader going. Your description of this woman then and after the illusion shatters is quite good, you know there is something is wrong with her.

I like how you describe her finding out he isn't there and her reaction, it is really well done. Right now I can think of one thing that can help you lengthen this story but I'm not sure it'd work, some flashbacks may help add more to the story and give a bit more of an understanding.

I don't know if it even raises a concern but to me, if I'm honest Kreacher thinks a bit to much (when Mrs Black wants to leave) and now as I think about this, wouldn't he want to be there for her and not leave? Just a thought.

Her little rant on her own, her monologue is interesting and you can almost see it happening... you bring across another side to the woman we thought as so horrible. That is really good.

The rest of it goes well, we're left thinking and seeing this horrible woman so vulnerable and pitiful. Well done.

Now a quick summary:
Your characterisation was god for Mistress Black, it was interesting to see another side of her. I wonder if Kreacher was to thoughtful, but maybe it should be like that...It flows well if you ask me. It is very effective, had a good affect but maybe flashbacks would help, just to ad to that and lengthen it.

I'm sorry if it is to critical/ long/nit-picky. Please let me know what you think. I haven't read through what I've write here, if you want to speak to me feel free. Hope I've helped. Luna

PS- Could you leave an author response? And could you just say a few words of what you think of this on my review page, it would be very appreciated.

Author's Response: thanks for the review, it was really helpful!!!

Thanks for the idea of flashbacks, I think i will try to work that into it, as well as finding a longer extract to lengthen the summary

And it definitely wasn't too long/critical/nit-picky (I'm very nit-picky myself!), sorry it took me a little while to respond :)

thanks again for the review, it was very helpful :)


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Review #14, by The LunaTo Whom It Concerns: Epilogue

29th March 2010:
Let me begin with a hi, I'm The Luna of course and you asked me to review so here it is. I'll begin with the summary (I only talk about the title if needs be, and it is good). I like your conclusion, it makes you want to read on and has a beautiful quote 'Sometimes the most beautiful beginnings come from the saddest endings '. No problems there.

The first paragraph is interesting. It really is a good first paragraph. You don't explain to much, I like that...it helps keep a reader reading. Tonks so far is good, but of course it is early on. Charlie too...your description so far really works. Well done. I think even on the second chapter Tonks characterisation is succesful, it is just right in the sense you've got her sad but herself...if that makes sense haha.

I'm wonderng right now, is she leaving someone? Is it Remus? Why is her stuff away, does Remus know? I'm guessing I'll find out, otherwise this may be a small problem. Ohh, she's leaving Charlie. I see. Well this note? Otherwise I like it still, Tonks is a really interesting character and I think you've got her well. You've done well with Charlie, you haven't mentioned it much but he seems somewhat sad. Your writing is good, you're really good with description.

I like your line 'we thought we had it'. Interesting.

You then explain why they are splitting, why she is leaving him in a few paragraphs and I think that is good. You've got them both perfect with your explanation of what they are like, they are both full of life. There is good emotion with this, I can't help but feel sorry for them.

Their conversation is good, it works well and you just know they are trying to ease the tension and laugh. You can see they are comfortable with eachother. Well done.

Is the laughing bit to much? It seems a bit different from Tonks, but as you mention hysterics... their conversation here is interesting, they seem so comfortable and friendly... so good.

Tonks is a happy character, you've got that well, jesting even on this sad day for her. I think you're developing her well. Charlie is interesting to, as I've said and as they part...I do half expect him to come back, but I know that isn't for the best and that he wont.

The rest goes well, I like what she does... maybe more of a description at how she grabs her clothes? Maybe that would work? I love the ending, specifically these lines:
'“Wotcher, Tonks,” I told myself happily, stepping out into the street.

Sometimes, the seemingly bitterest ends were actually the happiest beginnings.'

And as she walks down, I can imagine it thoroughly... good description and a good end for the start of a story

Now a quick summary:
You were worried about characterisation? Don't. I didn't see a problem really, you've got Tonks well...just keep it up. Charlie is interesting to, well done. The flow? I don't think there was any major problem, maybe jolty as they laugh, think that was a bit complicated. Well done though, you're a good writer.

I'm sorry if it is to critical/ long/nit-picky. Please let me know what you think. I haven't read through what I've write here, if you want to speak to me feel free. Hope I've helped. Luna

PS- I'm giving it a 9 out of 10 :)

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Review #15, by The LunaMissing Piece: Missing Piece

29th March 2010:
Let me begin with a hi, I'm The Luna of course and you asked me to review so here it is. I like how you said 'I has Gred and Forge? XD ' hehe. And a happy easter to you to. I'll begin with the summary (I only talk about the title if needs be, and it is good). I like your conclusion, it doesn't leave to much and makes you want to read on. No problems there.

I think the first few lines a re interesting, it is just right for the drama and shouting to happen in the Burrow...like in the books I feel kind of at home. Two small problems to begin with: Ron crying. I know it is sort of shouting but...well I think it should be a different word if I'm honest. I know he is a bit whiney with his family, but maybe it should be changed...maybe screamed or even what you say later shouted. You've got him correct so far though. The other minor problem is Mrs Weasley talking about wishing for peace and quiet which is right...only I think you should say at the same time she wouldn't change it for the world, we know that is the truth but it makes it that little bit warmer and Mrs Weasley-ish if you ask me.

So the next little bit of a problem is you use 'cried' again. This use works really well if you ask me but I would consider changing the first 'cried'. So far, I'm talking up until Ginny tells Molly Ron is touching her seat it is good, I think your characterisation is well...and there isn't to much speech. It is still early days but good one so far.

I'm wondering if Molly is to stern and serious? I don't mean to sound bad but how she looks at Ron stern, her words and tiredness...I'm sorry but I'm wondering if that seems a bit to severe for Molly, again it may just be that part and nothing to worry about. Your characterisation of Ginny is good so far, I'm liking what she did at Ron in victory. You mention how there is always arguments in the Weasley household, again I think this may seem a bit serious...maybe you should add it is always busy or something aswell?

I like the idea of Ron's toe missing, the way he is trying to tell her...it all made me laugh I think Molly is a bit angry, shouldn't she ask about it? Maybe she is having an off day, but that needs to be mentioned. Maybe he would try to say stuff and Molly should cut him off, angry? It would add to the humour and story. It is interesting, by now you've drawn me in completely and your writing is good, better than me haha.

I've just seen Molly look at his toe, and it does seem she is having a bad day... I think it would be a good idea to say that. Otherwise it leaves me, at least, wondering why is she moody? One thing Molly does, you haven't done but may want to is use the word 'dear', like when she is consoling Ron...it'd be a good part of characterisation. I think I like your part about the '4 pairs of feet thundering down rickety old stairs', again it just makes it seem homely. Excellent.

In the 'right children' sentences Molly uses 'Ronny-kins' I like it. I'd add more of her softness however, in fear of 'Ronny-kins sounding out of place.

I'm up to the part where Percy walks out the room, saying he will help but he won't touch it. I'm honestly wondering about what you meant by the twins saying green isn't his colour...sickness? The main reason I'm basically pausing here is that your characterisation of the Weasley children is good, I mean that. You shouldn't really worry about your characterisation.

Ron wanting his toe is funny. Fungus growing haha. Poor embarrassed Ron. I'm interested in how it's gone, I do hope it is explained.

Fred and George are perfection. I really, really like them. I personally am always in fear I wont write them right or see a good piece on them but this... the way they're talking about their cauldron and 5 sickles, finishing each others sentences...well done :) The way Molly is to the twins after she hears this is good, I like 'Shush, Ronald… Now, you two ought to tell me what you did to your cauldrons, or god help me I’ll -' that is her so much.

It is really good still. I think maybe their should be more of the search? I'm not sure on that however. Trust it to be them! Perfect scene, trust them! Love it. You really have characterised well :)

Now a quick summary:
I think you've done well overall. There isn't to much speech, sometimes pieces need a bit more speech...this is one of them. You've characterised well, I love Fred and George. There is changes I've offered.

I'm sorry if it is to critical/ long/nit-picky. Please let me know what you think. I haven't read through what I've write here, if you want to speak to me feel free. Hope I've helped. Luna

PS- I'm giving it a 9 out of 10:)

Author's Response: Wow. Thanks for such a long, detailed review. I felt like I was reading it right along with you.

I always found Molly very stern as a mother... probably in comparing her to mine. So I think I may've over exaggerated her moodiness a little considering it's not something I've ever really known from my own mum. Mines nice all the time and not strict at all whereas Molly seems kind of volatile to me, with mood swings and things like that. But maybe not so rapid as I've done, haha.

I'm so glad you liked that bit with her and the twins negotiating though. That was my favourite bit to write and I loved my portrayal of the Fred and George, if you don’t mind me tooting my own horn xD.

I see where you're coming from with the 'cried' thing, but I think it's also down to how the reader thinks of the word cried. In the way I've used it (sans tears :P) I see it more as a kind of… the boy who cried wolf type thing. I'll look into that first instance you were talking about and see if I can think of something else that could fit but not sound too repetitive.

My characterisation of the Weasley children is good?! YAY. I'm so pleased to hear you say that, especially because I've been wanting to write more oneshots like this exploring the Weasleys, mainly the kids though. I'm quite keen to explore Molly's relationship with Arthur too. It's clear they love each other very much in the books but there was never really that much about them.

I'm quite surprised about the speech comment. Considering it's something I always worried there was too much of and your saying there's too little of I may just leave it as it is as some kind of middle ground.

I'm sorry if this response doesn't match up to your review in length or content but I'm just a bit stunned at the moment. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. And don't worry at ALL about the criticisms. I work really well on them and now I know that my Molly Weasley isn't quite up to par and I'll make sure I make some little changes for the next one. I think if she was in a different situation she may be a little less stern, I just think that she really likes to keep a firm eye on her kids so... yeah xD. I think I did always picture her as having a bad day when this is going on because the women in my family ALWAYS make pastry when they're not having good days xD. I suppose in that respect I haven't yet got this oneshot thing down properly, but hey! Practice makes perfect :D

Thanks again for your review. It's hugely appreciated. You were detailed enough and pointed out everything. The perfect reviewer! XD

Happy Easter :D
Lorren.


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Review #16, by The LunaHis Only Faithful Servant: Reunited

29th March 2010:
Well written, this promises to be an exciting story. I'll continue reading. I think you've done well so far, Bella is such an interesting character. This is because of you review to my story, which I thank you for. Luna

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. Bellatrix is a very interesting character in my opinion as well, which is one reason I wrote this fic!

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Review #17, by The LunaTrust Factors: Big Trouble

27th March 2010:
Hey, I really like this. I'm excited to see what happens now...will they tell? Ohh! Really good chapter, I will keep reading. I think Ginny's emotions are very interesting. Luna

Author's Response: Thanx again Luna! Ginny's emotions sometimes get the better of her but she will cool down eventually

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Review #18, by The LunaTrust Factors: The "other people"

23rd March 2010:
Thanks for your second review. Regarding the authors reply to my review on chapter one of this story, you're not stupid just didn't know. I only know since my friend is madly into Harry Potter and fan fiction. Me too now. I like this chapter, it's really interesting though I do think you'll find it hard writing about four siblings. I hope there is more of Fred and George (maybe Luna) that would be excellent. You're writing Fred and George well so far. Well done, keep reading and reviewing, I'll be sure to do the same. Luna

Author's Response: Thanx sooo much for reviewing! it's nice to get some positive critics out there. About the four siblings, I find that it's easier to write them if they are based around one thing. In this case it's getting into trouble and some humor. I try to add Fred and George in whenever I can, but you know, they cant be stalkers. On the current chapter im writing- the fourth one- i'll try to add in fred and george more and maybe luna too. I also want to add in more ron and hermione as well!, anyway thank you sooo much for reviewing and to let you know that I check up on your stories every day! Thanx again!

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Review #19, by The LunaUnknown Love: Unknown Love

23rd March 2010:
Hey, a few small things I want to mention but only to help, please don't take me wrong. The first is Ginny and Jake both say 'haha' alot. I'm sorry but it was excessive and niggled be. The other is on Christmas Day Jake wakes up, opens presents and then it's night time, just so you know. And there are random capital letters. I really do like this though, it is so sweet, funny and everything. I'd like to see more. Luna

Author's Response: oh. yeah. haha thanks! haha I am glad you liked it. And for some reason I really am just a very bad typer.haha thank you again.

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Review #20, by The LunaTrust Factors: Hogwarts Finally

22nd March 2010:
One small problem, you've called it a One-shot but that is only if there is one chapter. Thought I'd let you know. This chapter is good, a good start to what promises to be an interesting story. I'm guessing Melissa is based on you? I don't know what most people think of that but I like it, it's like a real Harry Potter character...I've written me before, but my real self of course. Keep going. Thank you for your review, this is why I read and reviewed. Luna

Author's Response: oh woops- i'm so stupid- i thought it meant that it was your first time writing. Anyway, thank you sooo much for reviewing, I really appreceate it- sorry I cant spell to save my life. Actually, I dont like to sound concieted but I happened to like the name Melissa, but I'ts not based on my personality. Thanks again!

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Review #21, by The LunaBlue Tablecloth and Coffee Stains: Blue Tablecloth and Coffee Stains

22nd March 2010:
I read and reviewed another story of yours but this has to be the best, so well written too. I felt Harry's agony, it was so sad and I just want to hug him. I'd really find it interesting what happens next. As I've said Well done and I'm new here, I hope you'll read some of my work when I add it but I'm not trying to pressure. Luna

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Review #22, by The LunaWhen Edward Cullen Entered Hogwarts and Draco Malfoy Threw a Hissy Fit : When Edward Cullen Came To Hogwarts And Draco Malfoy Threw A Hissy Fit

22nd March 2010:
I'm a Twilight fan, not as much as a HP fan but I am. I'm not taking offence, or going to Avada Kadavra you. This is really good, I feel sorry for Edward though. Draco is hilarious, I believe that is exactly how he'd act. Really well written and everything. Still team Edward. Hey, maybe you should do one on Jacob? I'd love to see that. Well done. I'm new here, I hope you'll read some of my work when I add it but I'm not trying to pressure. Luna

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Review #23, by The LunaA Rather Large Contour of Love: A Rather Large Contour of Love

21st March 2010:
I like this, it is sweet and full of love which is always a winner with me. I do believe it is unfinished though, it'd be hard but have you thought of continuing? I'd personally like to read more. Well done. I'm new here, I hope you'll read some of my work when I add it but I'm not trying to pressure. Luna

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Review #24, by The LunaTruth or Dare: Did someone said truth or dare?!

21st March 2010:
I love this, it is so fluffy and sweet. Just what I need. This is a real good feel-good story and I really liked how you told it, Harry and Ginny. So many cute pairs hehe. What do you believe happened to Luna? She is seemed to be left :( I've also added a story, you told me to let you know. More to be added and thank you for how sweet you've been. Luna

Author's Response: i'm glad u liked this fic Luna, and Luna was paired with Neville (i think i mentioned that in the story). i'll read the fic and thank u 4 the compliment.^_^

Harry and Ginny


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Review #25, by The LunaFade to Black: Death greets me warm

20th March 2010:
Harry and Ginny, you are a great writer. This is so emotional and brilliant. I had to keep reading! I'm guessing from your name, Ginny is one of your favourite characters and here you kill her, that shows immense skill, I couldn't do it! I'm going to keep reading but would you read some of mine? I'm writing my first, it's not going to be here for a while though. Thank you, Luna

Author's Response: hey Luna,

i'm glad u liked this story and that it kept u reading till the end. yeah, Ginny is one of my favourite characters, her and Harry. they are my favourite couple but i try to write as many pairs i can.

This story was a bit of a challenge, like i said in my other reviews because it was extremely hard 4 me to kill Ginny. i'll definitely read ur story but in case i 4get, u can warn me in a review or something like that. thanx so much 4 this absolutely fantastic review and if u want, u can read my other fics too!^_^

Harry and Ginny


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