I never thought that I'd find someone who could pull off writing in Luna's perspective, but here you are! I adore this; it's brilliant. I love how Luna is strong; it's not a word that most people use to describe her, but it's true. She's ectremely strong and brave, no matter what she thinks of herself.
When I first found out who Luna ends up with I didn't know what to think of it, but then I just supposed he was a nice man. I love how you make him so angry and rude. It's such a huge twist from what I had in mind, but I love the idea.
The way that Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville treat Luna is lovely. I like that friendship. I really do. You can tell that they all care about each other so much. Oh, and I loved that small comment about Harry's and Hermione's bond; it's completely irrelevant to the rest of the story, but it's still amazing.
I really want to see where you can go with the rest of this. I wonder how the relationship will evolve. So, update soon, yeah? (:
Lovely piece, really. It's brilliant. Report Review
To start off, Ginny Potter should be my mother. You know, just saying. It sure would be nice to be able to get that kind of ticket to a professional Quidditch match in such short notice. :P And be able to take as many friends as you want. James is a spoiled boy, but Iw ouldn't have him any other way. :P
Anyways, there's not too much going on in this chapter which is good because you need something relaxing after all of the drama that has happened in the last few chapters. (:
Oh, and I absolutely adored the part where James is reading Ginny's letter to him and Bink suddenly comes up to him. "I DON'T WANT BABIES!" xD
See, now you've got me all anxious to see what's going to happen in the next chapter. -.-
Sorry for the short review, but I don't have much time, >.<
UPDATE SOON! Can't wait for Quidditch! :D Great chapter!(:
Victoria(:Author's Response: uh YEAH she should be mine too!! At the drop of a hat--here's a suite! Take your little friends and paint nails. Well, you know. James is so spoiled. And he loves it.
I'm glad you liked this chapter. I totally know what you mean. I did want something a little more relaxing. To contrast the insanity of the fights and whatnot. so you got some relaxation and Quidditch love, and James obsession! Which is always a good way to go, hmm? And I hope you're anxious! That's EXACTLY what I wanted, haha. Thanks, Victoria!! Report Review
To start off, I love the chapter image; I never would have thought of Harry looking like that when he's older, but it actually fits in nicely. The James/Harry conversation was definitely not what I expected, but it was great. Especially this part:
Dad surveyed me over his glasses, the look in his eye suggesting I might be more his son than he previously thought. "Get me one of those mini figurines. Your uncle Ron loves those things. And I like to gloat."
"Deal," I said, finally smiling outright for the first time in ages. It felt weird on my lips, but it was right. "Good too. Because I already owled Mum and she said she'll send me the tickets."
Basically, the entire conversation was my favorite part of the chapter. :D
THEY'RE FINALLY FRIENDS AGAIN! :D I was hoping that would happen within this chapter. I guess the messages I sent to you by telepathy worked. ;D
I love Bink's, Freddie's, and James' encounter with Albus and Rose.
Fred tugged at Rose’s robes. "Why isn't Roxy this cool? Or this ginger?" He grabbed a fistful of her hair and twirled it around.
"Genetics, Fred," she mumbled.
"OR! Or hair coloring," he said. "I'm voting the latter. Sometimes I think I can see her roots."
"Dad owled me to say you talked to him."
"Did not," I mumbled. "You guys talk too much. Stop talking. Bad enough you look alike."
I always knew Avery would take charge. I'm sorry, James. She's just more manly than you & your manly mittens.
So, this is a short review compared to others, but I just can't write; I'm laughing too much. Hahaha. xD This chapter was hilarious. (': Update soon! I love this chapter.Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the chapter image! I went through a lot of different options before I settled on RDjr. He's such a dish. And to make a boy as hothothot as James you have to be a dish.
I'm also super stoked you like the Harry/James convo. I was nervous about it but it just sort of flowed so that was nice. And convenient.
I totally got those messages. I mean, it was confusing at first as to why someone else was in my head, but I knew it would be the right thing to do.
Oh Avery is way more in charge. And totally always will be, haha.
Thank you so much! And I forgive you for laughing too much. It's a disease ;)
Thanks! Report Review
Hey! So as I said, I will review(:
To start, I like that this doesn't include Cho as the main character (Cho sucks; no explanation is necessary). At first I wasn't too big on the fact that Rachel wasn't interested by Quidditch, but it fits because there is already way too much Quidditch craze with the Weasley twins and Lee as her friends & Katie, Angelina, and Alicia there as well. And Cedric is a Quidditch player as well, so I guess Rachel not loving it sort of balances it out.
Rachel fits in well at the Gryffindor house according to books, because Jo never mentioned another girl in the twins' year to share a dormitory with Alicia, Katie, and Angelina; you managed to work that in well.(:
WIN! You added in angry Mrs. Weasley in the very first chapter! I am a Molly fan, sorry. xD
I also liked how you managed to fit in some of Rachel's background in a casual manner. It didn't seem forced. I know a lot of writers who struggle with that, so congratulations.
The flow of this chapter seems to be fine, but I'll have to look at future to really see.
As I mentioned before, you seem to have good description(: You pay attention to the little details. You could add even more (without going over the top), but in this chapter it's really good.
You did say that this chapter was cliché and in some parts it is. Especially with her getting tangled(?) and that it was Cedric who helped her, haha. But you said it got even better. So, if I don't mention the word cliché in future reviews, it's because you were honest. ;D
Oh, I also thought it was a good idea to slightly mention something about Harry, because he IS famous at school, but not as much to a sixth-year.
I love the banner, by the way.(:
Overall, it seems like a good start.(: Hope to read all chapters soon!
Victoria(:Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking your time to review this! :D I'm glad you like Rachel, and I do hope this chapter at least didn't leave you bored out of your mind. ^^ I hope you'll like the rest, as well - it gets (hopefully) less cliche-ridden as you go!
Thank you very, very much! :) Report Review
I'm so glad that George is happy about this! I had absolutely no idea what his reaction would be and his blank expression did nothing to help. But I'm so glad that Hermione has his support.(: And he gave her the note and ring! :D That's really sweet of George to have kept it and is giving it to her. I really liked the part where he said that he was Fred's twin after all and that Hermione responds he still is. Seemed to really fit there.(:
I dunno what to think about Hermione's and Percy's relationship. It's like I want something to happen between them because they've helped each other out so much and they understand each other, but Percy's a Weasley. Ron's AND Fred's brother. D: I like that Percy is so caring, though. Makes my day to read about him being that way.(:
I feel terribly sorry for Ron, though..I don't really want 'Mione with him, though. /: Well, it'll all work out in the end..I hope.
Lovely chapter! Update soon!
Victoria(:Author's Response: I think it would be right for George to be happy. He's lost his twin, but now there's a chance to have him back, in a way. I love writing George in this story, and he's going to play a fundamental part from now on.
Hermione and Percy's relationship is...complicated, at this point in the story. Actually, it's complicated right down until the end. But you are right, it will all work out in the end...for better or for worse. :P
Thanks so much for reading! Reviews like this make MY day. :D Report Review
I loved this chapter, expecially that flashback. I had no idea that Fred & 'Mione were going to get married! :O I feel even more sad about his death now. And, I love how they show each other everything about them; not just the mischievious joker and bookworm, but their more human sides. They're not as two-dimensional.
At least, Hermione has Percy..for now. I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen in their relationship..
Oh, those Weasley boys. They sure do know how to capture Hermione's heart.Author's Response: Yep, I loved writing the Fred/Hermione flashbacks. Unfortunately, I don't think there will be any more of them in the story (but who knows).
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I absolutely adored Nick. I love that Dixie and Nick have such a close relataionship. It's good for Dixie to be close to at least a few people. Will Nick be able to fix things up at all?
I was laughing so much when you descrubed the stance the twins were in. Then, their costumes. That was definitely my favorite part of the chapter. I really like them. What do they sell at their shop? I don't remember you saying.
Dexter reminds me of a little cousin I have. An angel when he's sleeping, but a devil when he's awake.
Hannibal is very like Dixie. I'm glad she liked the cat.
This chapter seemed different. Probably the lack of Dixie's friends. But I liked it nonetheless.(:
At this point, I want Dixie to get over Freddy. He's done nothing to show he loves her or anything of the sort anymore. Avery and Gabe don't treat Dixie like that. I wouldn't be opposed to her falling for one of them. ;D
I wonder who Drew's girlfriend is...
Victoria(:Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter, and liked Nick! I love to write him and Dixie, together their words just seem to write themselves.
The costumes are funny people, they're the type of people that will do practically anything!
Their shop sells practically anything, I didn't say what they sold so that the readers could decide themselves. They sell sweets and jokes and muggle cards and wizard cards, sort of a version of Weasley Wizards Wheezes. :L
The next chapter is already in the queue, hopefully you won't still feel the same way after that chapter.
Thank you again! Report Review
"HEY, CAT?! CAN I EAT ONE OF THESE CARMEL FILLED BROWNIES YOU MADE?!" My dad's voice came from downstairs. You haven't met him, or my mom yet. I don't know how I can describe them.
They're parents, of course. But I think they may be a bit different then other parents, because I hardly consider them parents. I think of them as roommates that I love, or something.
Which is kind of weird, because I have roommates at Hogwarts. And as far as I'm aware, I don't love any of them.
Huh. I'll have to think about this.
"KITTY, DON'T LET HIM HAVE ONE! HE JUST WANTS TO EAT IT IN FRONT OF MY FACE!" There's Cody, now where's mo--
"DARLING, THESE LOOK POSITIVELY DELICIOUS. COULD I PERHAPS ALSO HAVE ONE?!" There she is.
"KITTY! THEY JUST WANT TO BRAG ABOUT GETTING TO EAT ONE BEFORE ME! THEY WON'T TRULY RESPECT YOUR BAKING SKILLS LIKE I WILL!"
"GO AHEAD AND HAVE ONE, MOM AND DAD!"
"WHAT?!?!" Mwahaha, poor Cody.
Ahahaha. xD I absolutely loved that bit.
I did like the first chapter better, but this one is really good as well.(: I shall forever call Catrice, Kitty. :D
Does Kitty have friends at Hogwarts? Is it Cody's first year?
Pleasee, please update soon! I need laughs! :D
Victoria(:Author's Response: oh dear, I'm so sorry I have taken so long to get back to this!
I'm glad you enjoyed the new chapter, and I'll try and make the next more like the first :)
Kitty doesn't have friends, but that shall soon be fixed, and yes, it's Cody's first year.
there should be an update soon, I'm so sorry for the wait!
oh. and there will be laughs.
there will be. >;D Report Review
This is hilarious. xD
Draco has an affair with himself, Scorpius wears a rhinestone suit, Rose leaves throught the portrait hole (Dramatically ;D), and there's a club/mingling spot on the Astronomy Tower.
There are so many other things I could mention, but those just made me crack up so much. xD
Normally I wouldn't read parodies, but this one, oh this one is something else. ;P Update soon! I need lots of laughs. :D
Victoria(:Author's Response: Thanks XD All the crazy in my mind spat out!
Sadly it's a oneshot, so no updating, but I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! :D Report Review
I think this one is shorter than others, but it covers enough.
I'm glad that you're pretty blunt about the suspicions concerning Scorpius. After all, it's to be expected seeing as Scorpius was the only one to be found with the body. Plus, it moves the story along. I really want to see what Scorpius' reaction is about that suspicion; will he angry, sad, frustrated, or simply confused?
I like how you added in just a tad of Lily's personality. You kinda fixed the issues on her breaking down in the past chapter (I think it was that chapter). You also bring in the question about the whereabouts of James, which brings some of Harry's thoughts as well. So that worked out pretty well.
James' part fit well for this chapter. At first, I couldn't believe how quickly the Gryffindors had known something had happened, but then I remembered that it's Hogwarts. xD Anyways, I like James' frustration. It seems like a good way to go. Not angry, depressed or anything of the sort. Frustration works really well.
Overall, good chapter.(: It was lacking in length a bit, but it was well-written. Can't wait for the next chapter.(:
Victoria(:Author's Response: I feel like all of these chapters are too short, but it was such an awkward story to cut up because I didn't actually write it chapter by chapter, so I did the best that I could.
And I tried to carry this story as upfront and blunt as possible for the most part, obviously the one who found the body will be the first to be blamed. And I think Lily is more consistent throughout the rest of the story, the last chapter had lapses in it.
And James is my favorite, I think he sort of takes a serious situation and makes it a bit more laid back.
Thanks again for the review!
Megan. Report Review
This chapter was rather intriguing. Since the last chapter I had wondered what Jack would think once he was at Diagon Alley. And, it's nothing short of what I expected. Jack seemed to be rather cautious. First I thought that since he's a Muggleborn as far as he knows, then maybe he wants to lay low and not attract any attention towards the fact that he doesn't much about the wizarding world, but his cautiousness seemed to have taken place even before meeting anyone. It's a little strange, but I think it keeps Jack in character.
Jack's exchange with Timothy was interesting as well. I wondered what Jack would say if Timothy questioned about his parents, but he didn't hesitate and said the blatant truth. Timothy is quite a character. Talkative and all, but if I were him I'd take his mother's advice and not speak that way about Muggleborns even if times seem to have changed. In a way, I hope Timothy does not end up in Slytherin. It doesn't seem too much like him, except for his slight comment on Muggleborns.
Who's the boy who bought Jack the Daily Prophet? I understand if you don't tell :P, but you know it's good to give hints...;D
Harry's characterization is a bit off, I have to say. I think seeing Harry's background of not really knowing anything about the wizarding world when he was younger, I would think that he'd be kinder to Jack than he was. Possibly talk about some Hogwarts experiences. Those odd looks he gave Jack also had me thinking...I'm a bit surprised, though, that Harry didn't have people coming up to him left and right.
I'm glad that Jack didn't react much towards the simple sparks coming from the wand seeing as how he had been shown some spells from Penelope before. I expected something climatic to come from him getting a wand. Dunno what I wanted to happen, though. *shrugs*
Will he and James (Harry's son) become acquainted during their time at Hogwarts? Will the next chapter be on the Hogwarts Express? If so, will Jack make any friends? Sorry, I've got a lot of questions. ;P
Great chapter all in all. Hope to see a new update soon.(:
Victoria(:Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for the review.
He is very cautious, and I think he would have been extra cautious in any strange place. The wizarding world is just so much stranger than anything else in the Muggle world, that all of his reactions get a little intensified. And he's a bit in shock, I think, which makes him number than usual, which all together makes it not the best situation in which to get a good idea of what he's like -normally-, but what can you do? :P
I'm actually still considering whether Timothy will be a Slytherin or not, but I do think it would fit him. It doesn't seem like it so much from Jack's perspective at the moment, but Jack only spoke with him for about ten minutes. XD Plus, I'm trying to get away from the cliched ideas of what people from each houses are like, so... well, we'll see.
Oooh, I love keeping secrets. :D Oooh, but I also love dropping hints. *shifty* Okay, I'll tell you this: his name starts with an M. :D And he's important to the main adventure plot.
The thing about Harry's behavior in this chapter is that since you're not seeing it from his perspective, it's hard to see all of his motivations. I think he got a very strange vibe from Jack, and there are some things going on in the wizarding world that Jack doesn't know about yet, that hardly anyone knows about yet, so basically... I think Harry is remembering Tom Riddle too, and is in the same position (sort of) as Dumbledore when Tom started Hogwarts. He thinks that this kid could be very bad news and needs to have some eyes kept on him, but at the same time, is willing to give him a cautious chance and understands that it all depends on the choices that he makes later, not on the potential that he has now. (And yeah, well... it's been like eighteen years now, and he was already talking to someone. XD I think if he was on his own, he'd have been approached a few times, or if it was more recent.)
There might be more about the wand later, but there are already a lot of parallels with Tom and Harry, so I thought it would be interesting if a big parallel was just missing.
He and James will definitely meet, the next chapter will indeed be set on the Hogwarts express and Jack may or may not make friends (there are two ways it could go and I haven't written it yet), but if he doesn't, then he will at least meet some people who will later develop into friends.
Thank you so much for reviewing! Sorry it took a bit long to get back to you, RL is insane just now. I'll update as soon as I can though. RL is busy, but I'll make time. XD
- Evan Report Review
Dunno if I've reviewed, but here goes:
I loved seeing this side of Percy. It's nice to see he cares. Not only for Hermione, but for the rest of his family as well. The last bit was absolutely lovely. I'm glad that Hermione has learned to care for Percy as well, instead of just being rude to him. (Not that she always was, but you know.)
I feel bad for Ron. He has no idea what's going. And just when he's let Hermione see him at his most vulneravle point (him telling her he loves her), she breaks away from him. I don't Hermione will ever really love Ron. They might end up together (the end seems so far from here. Everything is so...wrong. It doesn't seem like they're all happy right now.), but Hermione will never love him like she loved Fred.
This chapter was lovely. And, you made me love Percy. Never before had I even liked him.
Victoria(:Author's Response: I'm very glad that I've managed to make you see Percy differently. That was really my intention with this entire story. It's far from over, there's still plenty of chapters left, but when I approached this story idea six months ago, I wanted people to emerge from it with a better look of Percy.
Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
Seeing inside of Umbridge's mind is something that's not exactly very new for me. Throughout reading about her and her horrible deeds (for lack of words) in Order of the Phoenix and the following books I wondered what she was like. Inside of her mind, I did not see pink and cats/kittens or anything of the likes. I saw intricacy and her want for more.
Apparently you see something much like what I saw. And you portray it wonderfully. You tell it like you believe it is. No excuses behind it, just Umbridge's mind. Raw.
And I love it. You give us emotion from her that forms a sort of mood around this story. But you don't just focus on her alone, but on the Golden Trio as well. You show how they've changed. In a minor way, because of Umbridge too.
You tie it all in so wonderfully. This is definitely one of the best fanfics that I've read.
Victoria(:Author's Response: Wow. I'm flattered that you think so highly of my story. Dolores Umbridge is a really bizarre person. She's so mean. Not evil, exactly, but definitely not a nice person. It's easy to make her into a bad character. Underneath though, I think there's a part of her that we should feel sorry for. She's probably insecure underneath all of the pink and kittens. I don't think she's ever really been liked in her life, and so she's getting back at the world in the only way she knows. Maybe I'm just reading too far into this, but that's what I think of her . Thank you for all your amazing reviews. You're amazing. Report Review
I'm sure I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I love your writing.
This piece of prose doesn't have as many words or dialogue as your others have, but it's not needed. Your description is beautiful. Poetic, even.
I love how even on a normal night, their thoughts are on their past experiences. On times when nothing was safe. It conveys a lot of meaning. It shows, to me, that even though the war is long over their thoughts are still on Harry who helped them, on how nothing was safe, on how there wasn't a lot of happiness. It's absolutely lovely. Especially how you didn't even use dialogue to make us see this.
I knew that it was Rose was crying, but I loved how at first both Hermione and Ron thought it was something else.
Beautful piece of writing. Absolutely loved it.Author's Response: Thank you again. Your reviews are so lovely. I'm so happy you've been enjoying my work. Originally I was going to have this story seem like it was set during the year when they were on the run, with Harry having nightmares, but then at the end have the twist that it was really Rose... but when I was writing it I thought it would convey what I was trying to say more if I wrote it like this. The lack of dialogue was an experiment of mine; I wanted to get the emotions and the storyline across with minimum speech. And it made Ron talking to his daughter just a bit more emphasized, I thought. Maybe it was just me... I think that Ron and Hermione would never really get rid of all the paranoia that grew in them during the war. Thanks again for all the spectacularly wonderful reviews. Report Review
I absolutely love your writing. Love it.
This piece was great. I love seeing Albus' need for answers. His curiousity is great; it shows a great part of his personality. I think everyone knew it wasn't Albus' fault on getting Lily stuck in the chimney. xD
Having a father/son moment like this was great. We get to see some of the Harry we knew from the original books as well as him as a father. We also get to see Ginny! And her fierce anger. I have to say, by the end of this I was a bit worried about Harry's, James', and Al's well being after Ginny got through with them.
You also manage to show us some of the other kids' personalities without having them actually be in the fanfic.
Victoria(:Author's Response: Thanks again! I really do like writing Harry, but I worry about getting him to sound like the character from the books. And his kids... well, I just love them to pieces! It's great writing them because they're a part of the real books, but we don't know much about them, so writers can play around with them. I think Albus is a curious little lad, but his parents had better watch out because I'm sure he's even more devious than James. And I'm sure it's not totally his fault for getting poor Lily stuck in the Chimney... perhaps. We'll never know for sure :) Thanks so much for all these reviews. You're making me so happy! Report Review
I was laughing throughout the whole story. xD
All the details were amazing.(: I loved seeing Lockhart there and how Al mentioned that his Nana fancied him. Even Rita Skeeter was mentioned in her bug form! xD
I loved how every time that Al and James heard bad words, it was italicized; it really gives them the little kid feel. You also incorporated signs of magic from James which was really quite lovely. And the exchange between the Dragon and James & Al was hilarious. "No..His name is Daddy not Harry Potter." xD
You even managed to fit in Neville and Ron. Oh, and the theory on babies coming from gift shops was hilarious. Great piece of writing. I loved it. Every part of it.(:
Victoria(:Author's Response: Thanks so much! I have to say, out of the entire story, that little mention of Rita was my favorite part to write. I just wanted to see if anyone caught the reference; I'm so glad you did! And so many of the other details as well! Yes! My work was not in vain! I was trying to go for the little kid feel throughout the story (and apparently it worked... thank goodness!) so I just put as much of my childhood convictions into it as possible. If I heard a big kid say a bad word for example, it was definitely italicized in my head. As for Ron and Neville... they didn't need to be in the story per se, but they're my favorite characters... and I figured, I'm the writer, I can do what I want :) Thanks again for reading and for reviewing. Report Review
I can't stop laughing at this.
In a good way. :D
Honestly, I don't know what's more hilarious here. "Mmm. Muffins." or "It was extremely intense. We made game plans, put on war paint, dressed in camouflage, held our forks high, and attacked."
We know next to nothing about the character. And that makes me so excited to see what you're going to come up with. :D
"Am I right, or am I right?
Now, let's go make brownies." - Sure. She's right as long as I get to eat the brownies. That works, yeah?
Now if you don't update soon, I will be very upset. And you don't want to make your fans sad.
So, update! :D
Victoria(:Author's Response: Yayyy(: this makes me happy. I'm glad I could make you laugh :D
And of course you can have brownies. BROWNIES FOR ALL!
I shall update as soon as possible, I promise. Wouldn't want to disappoint all three of my fans, now would I? :D Report Review
Yet another lovely chapter.(:
The date couldn't have gone more wrong for Hugo. From Pamela not paying him much attention, to James being in a horrible mood, and Lily and Glen showing up. At least he had an actual conversation with Connie.(:
I like the fact that Hugo didn't help Professor Ramsay with exactly what he needed, but he helped him move on. It was absolutely lovely.
I'm glad that Hugo is finally moving away from Glen and he's being his own person. He's gaining confidence! Hugo going to the Quidditch match for Charlie is a great detail because it proves that Hugo really is moving on.
Overall, it was a great chapter.(: Hope to see an update soon.
Victoria(:Author's Response: Yeah, as an expert on horrible dates I felt I captured this fairly well. You really picked up on a lot of the subtle characterizations I was trying to create and that makes me very, very happy! Thank you for everything you said! Report Review
I feel so sorry for Harry and Ginny, especially Harry. They've been through so much already and then their child is found dead. D:
Somehow, I knew that this chapter would be another point of view. ;P
I understand how Neville feels. He's seen Harry at his worst and now he was the one to bring the pain. I'm glad, though, that it was Neville who went. Even though it didn't seem to actually add in too much comfort, he seemed to be more thoughtful about how and when he should tell them than another professor would be. And when he has to see Harry's and Ginny's emotional moment when they break down. That must have been extremely uncomfortable.
I do feel that their reaction was a bit strange. I thought maybe some shock first then for them to break down, but they immediately broke into sobs.
Lily's reaction was a little strange as well. She also began to sob immediately. I like the fact you added about Mrs. Weasley (Nana). It gives us a little background and possible another tragedy that could happen sometime.
Overall, lovely chapter.(: You continued to move the story on at a leisurely pace. Hope to see a new update soon.
Victoria(:Author's Response: I'm actually really glad that you pointed out their rapid reactions, because I had actually meant to change that and had references in the next chapter that didn't make sense, so I went back and edited a bit!
And I really think that Neville was the only one who could have worked for this scene, while the news couldn't ever be easy to take, I think he made everything easier.
Thanks so much for another lovely review! Report Review
The beginning wasn't too eventful, but the end...The end was WOAH. I can't believe they got caught by Emerson. Emerson of all people. -.- Geez. I knew I hated him. I really do wonder what Bink and Freddie will say. Or do. I honestly have no idea this time around. They could be happy with the fact that Avery and James got together, or they might not even say anything because they might know already, or they could get extremely angry and do something very irrational to Avery and James (or maybe just James). Oh, the possibilities.
Abigail and Freddie are having problems! :D I'm so glad! (I sound terribly mean saying that...) I wonder if they'll actually find a way to fix it this time.
I'm beginning to think that Bink will never recover from what he went through with Meta...
It was nice to have some insight on Avery's dad. We see that he's always been a douche. >.<
Woo, woo! Al and Paloma got together.(: I'm so happy for them. :D
What's with Falcon Cat, though? Does 'Won't F* Let Me Turn It Into A Teacup' simply like Avery better?
It's a bit strange seeing Avery and James be so comfortable with each other. I expected some awkardness, especially on James' part, but he seems to be completely alright with it all. They must really love each other, then.
(I'm afraid I'm not a jealous woman so I don't quite share that trait with Tory the puff...;P Oh, and I guess we can leave it at an impasse; Ginny will never be among my list of liked characters.)
Victoria(:Author's Response: Haha, a nice balanced chapter :) A slow beginning and them BAM IN YOUR FACE.
Yeah, one of your answers just might be correct. It's which one...
Yes, you're very happy they're having problems. What a relationship killjoy you are!! Only joking. I have BIG PLANS for Freddie so don't you worry.
Bink just needs some time to figure out exactly what he wants from life. Maybe mystery and good sex isn't quite what he should aim for.
And yeah, Falcon Cat is just more comfortable in the other dormitory. Between Victoria being a jerkbutt and the dirty clothes and lack of intimate attention, she just likes the girl side better.
Trust me, the awkwardness will happen, but right now they're both so caught up in this new craziness that it hasn't set in yet who they really are and what they're doing.
Thank you so much for the lovely review! Report Review
I loved this Al/OC. Everything was perfect from her name to the Shakespere quotes to the 'if this was a chcik flick' view.
A couple of my mistakes, but it was lovely nonetheless. I don wonder what happened with Oliver, though..
Great Job(: It's really adorableAuthor's Response: Thanks! I might write a sequel about Oliver... Poor guy. Report Review
I have to say the idea for this story is pretty original. I honestly like it and would love to see where you can go with it.
The fact that you use someone else's POV and not Jack's is great way to show how people view Jack. You allow description of him but it doesn't come from him which I like.
I definitely like Jack as a character. He's really quite interesting...You know, he reminds me of Tom Riddle (the young one, before going off to Hogwarts). He has bits of him that are exactly like Tom, but he's his own person altogether. I'm a bit confused though. Penelope calls him John Thomas Dawkins and he says that's his name, but later he corrects her and calls himself Jack. Does he simply prefer to be called Jack or something of the sort? I can't help but think that he was much too calm when he was told of magic and Hogwarts and the likes. I understand he's perceptive, but to that extent?
Having Penelope as a professor is a nice detail. It's something that I can really see happening, but I haven't seen done anywhere else. And, you already showed us some parts of her personality. In an offhand way, but you still introduced her.
You have a nice writing style and I have to say this chapter was lovely. Great beginning, middle, and end. Good flow.(: The last chapter had a bit of a choppy end, but it was good nonetheless.(:
Victoria(:Author's Response: Ooh! Another review; I must be in heaven. XD
There definitely are parts of Tom in him. In part, this is because I'm deliberately mirroring parts of the books. For instance, the introduction from other perspectives is used a bit in the beginning of the Philosopher's Stone, in addition to being probably the best way to keep Jack mysterious and to build suspense. However, it's also important that readers notice the Tom parts because other characters are going to be noticing them too, which as you can imagine, will make life a little complicated for Jack further down the line. (*teaser!*)
I was a little worried about the name. Jack started as a nickname for John, and only relatively recently has it become a name in itself, so to speak. Sort of how Tom is short for Thomas and its variations, but now sometimes people are just named Tom. As far as characterization goes, Jack's insistence on Jack, rather than John, is very important, because his father's name is John as well and Jack unequivocally rejects everything about his father (look, more Tom references! :P ). I plan to make that clearer in a later chapter, but I'll see if I can clarify it a bit in the edit as well.
And yes, the composure is the other main thing that concerned me in this chapter. There's much more of a story behind it, which will be revealed later on, but for now, in part it goes back to Jack's rejection of his father. He sees his father as weak and cowardly, lacking in self-control and completely ruined by his emotions. So Jack is extremely self-controlled, and is able to hide his reaction, which is already a somewhat smaller reaction due to certain things in his past. Plus, Penelope's demonstration was relatively minor. I definitely don't think that he was quite as calm when Penelope vanished into thin air, but of course, she wasn't there to tell about it. XD
I really wasn't planning for Penelope to play a significant role later on, but after writing this chapter, I think she will, because it was very easy to write her and she does have a good personality for a professor. It'll probably be a minor role, because other professors and students have snagged the major ones already, but there'll definitely be more.
Thank you so much for the lovely review! You touched on a lot of my concerns and I will definitely keep it all in mind for the edit and later chapters.
- Evan Report Review
The ending was absolutely adorable! Sam trying to kiss Myrtle and she actually goes back and kisses him! I can honestly say I didn't expect that.
You managed to keep Myrtle within her characters throughout all of this, which I think is apretty amazing feat when Sam was there. It's good to finally see Myrtle enjoying herself. I never thought I'd see the day when that would happen. You did a great job with her characterization.(:
Sam, oh, Sam. He's such a lovely character! He's funny, outspoken, even a tad annoying, and jokes about death. But Myrtle still likes him. O:
You had great details as well. Like Myrtle Ministry decree, who Sam went to the party with, Sam's story and background information.
Great job on this! You actually made me like Myrtle as a character. :D I had never thought much of Myrtle while I'd read through the books, but as soon as I came across this fanfic and saw the title I HAD to read this.(:
Victoria(:Author's Response: This story is an embodiment of why I love challenges so much :P If it weren't for a challenge, I don't think I would have ever written a Moaning Myrtle fic like this...she doesn't exactly scream romance :P
Thanks so much for your review! I'm really glad you enjoy the characterizations. I kind of love Sam :P
I'm really glad that you took the time to read this story, and even happier that you enjoyed it so much :) Thanks again for your review! Happy Holidays! Report Review
Although this one isn't entirely about James, I was on the right track! :D (I should get cookies. :P)
The way you put in both the professors being there and deciding who should go tell the Potters and what Scorpius thinks of it in the same part seems pretty damn good.
What Scorpius thinks of their well, cowardness is very justified. He's right in thinking that.
Neville going to tell the Potters the tragic news is a good addition as well, because it shows that he's enough of a Gryffindor to tell a friend that their son has been murdered. Plus, it'll give some comfort to Harry and Ginny.
The way you added in that McGonagall thought that Harry had already lost plenty in his life seems like a good touch.
James seems just like the James I had imagined. Quidditch-crazy, prankster, and rather impatient. Good job on his characterization. :D That seems to be one of your strengths in writing; characterization. Plus, you showed James' reaction to the horrible news. Nothing short of what was expected.
The prefect was kind of stupid, but then again *shrugs*
Great chapter. Even better than the last two, I believe.(: Update soon!
Victoria(:Author's Response: So you're really awesome for taking the time to leave a review on all three chapters, because that isn't something that many people would do! I'd like to thank you for that first of all!
Neville going to the Potters was something that I found very important, because that's going to be a pivotal point in the Potters life, and you don't want to send just anyone!
And I'm glad that James was James, his character was really fun to write, and I tried really hard to get his character right!
After the break another chapter should be up, so you won't have to wait too long!
Megan Report Review
To start off, I like the fact that you're showing how they call out Albus's immediate family in the next chapter. I suspect the next one will be about James...In any case, it's a really good idea, so kudos on that.
Next, I like that Lily is in Ravenclaw, not in Gryffindor. It's good to change it up and not have all of the Wotters in the same house.
You had some good characterization in this chapter as well. You show how Lily is when she wakes up (something that tends to be quite interesting ;D), what she thinks is the reason for why she's being woken, that she's clumsy, and the fact that she can be quite patient.
I also like that the prefect knows that it's not her place to tell Lily what's been going on. In this chapter you show that Slytherin really isn't what it was. The prefect actually allows Lily a few more seconds of bliss. As the saying goes, "Ignorance is bliss." (I think. :P)
Lovely chapter.(: Off to the next one.
Victoria(:Author's Response: Woot, another review!
You'll find out that this story is going to jump around from POV to POV from chapter to chapter, even within the chapter, because I figured that it was the best way to get the whole story across to the reader. And yes, part of the next chapter has to do with James!
Lily being in Ravenclaw was actually something I went back and changed, because I figured they wouldn't all be in Gryffindor, and you'll find later that she really fits in the smarty pants house.
The prefect and I had a love hate relationship (especially over if they needed a name!) but I think that was the one thing this one was great at, knowing her place and deciding to keep Lily in the dark! Report Review
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