OBSCURE! I LOVE THAT LITTLE CHILD.

I haven't any idea why. Yeah, but I can't believe you said that! His talk reminded me about this one time on my gap year! I was in Africa, and I saw this woman with malaria, and she looked at me with this vacant stare, but with a sense of endearing hope as if to say, you know, despite our differences, you and I are one with the spirits. Yeah, and then I just chundered everywhere! Like EVERYWHERE.

..10/10 :)

(Anyway, I loved this chapter, and gap yah! Rose is scary. Indeed. And I had no idea Horses didn't have arms. OH WELL!)

Author's Response: Glad you like him! He's an interesting deviation to write. Oh, yeah, I went to perah. Perah? Perah? Perah? PERU!

and then i totally chundered everywha.

Rose is frightening indeed. And horses may have arms, I don't know. I'm not a horse expert. So they might do. Or they might not. Idk. I am suitably vague.

thanks for the review!

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BAD KITTY! NO KISSING OTHER BOYS! GO SNOG SIRIUS.

Sorry, I talk to characters like I do my dog.

ANYWAY, I love this chapter. Go Sirius. Way to show Gavin. Gavin should have known better, to tell you the truth. And Kitty. Oh, Kitty. Never break Sirius Black's heart. Not a good idea, child.

But I LOVED that you updated quickly:) It makes me smile:) Would you want to do it again? I'd love you forever and ever and ever!
10/10
RavenclawBeater

Author's Response: Haha I love that you are talking to my characters! And I'm off school for the next two weeks so I will definately have time to write :D


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OHMIGOD.
Firetruck Sarah. (I say firetruck only because bad words aren't allowed on reviews.) Oh, James, James, James HE CAN'T DIE.
I love Roxy. She's amazing. Poor Al... I almost started crying at that part!
Anyway, this is what I would like to see next chapter.
1. Sarah the word I can't say needs to be humiliated. A LOT.
And that's about it. Update soon please! :)

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That was an awesome ending! And it's totally fine about the name thing, I didn't feel like I really had the right to name her anyway, and Pandora is really good! It reflects her evilness! I like how she kills Harry. That ending was amazing! You did a great job!

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I'd like to start off by saying I usually don't like the Lily/Severus ship, but yours was absolutely amazing! I can imagine the childhood love they had, and it was so adorable! You did an amazing job! I really liked the way you wrote this! Great work!
10/10

Author's Response: Aww! Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to review. Super duper kind of you! Glad that I could make an unappealing ship a bit more appealing for you! ;)
-schoenemaedchen

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I like it! Rose and Lily sound like very... dramatic? girls. I'd be scared of Lily. Very scared. Can't wait to read the next chapter! Mclovin' it!!

Author's Response: Thanks! The first part means nothing like you would think! Nothing at all...:) just wait and see.

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I loved it! You're very descriptive with your writing, and it's hard to stop reading!

Oh, and it's me again! Sorry, my email and I don't get along too well so I was going to leave my name suggestions is a review. These are strictly SUGGESTIONS. I hate making decisions, and you can alter change or combine these in any way you want to. But, here are random suggestions:
Tegan
Amelia
Aubrey
Danielle
Kierstin
Ember
Evelyn
Anything really! Don't tell me what you pick though! I like to be surprised:)
Oh, and sorry about the repetitive-ness in my reviews. I read them all in a row and reviewed in a row. Can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: yeah arr thanks i am glad you like reading them :) and yeah description XD and awesome suggestions i'll have a think but it will definatly be one of those :) and no you're not repetitive! i will post the new ones with the changed grammar and everything when the que re-opens.
i also have my story Nursery Rhymes if you'd like to read anymore ?
anyway thanks again and i'll put her name in the last chapter which i think will be the next one! or i might do two more (i dont like REALLY long stories or i get bored of it, thats why i have so many one-shots!) so anyway yes i OH OH I HAVE AN IDEA! hehe :)
thanks again! *scurries off to write

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Alright, so I thought I'd point something out:
He stopped bursting into tears.
He stopped, bursting into tears.
Punctuation makes a huge difference, and I have a bad tendency of correcting people which I'm very sorry for! Your descriptions were getting much better, but half way through one of your paragraphs, it switched to first person. You may want to take a second look at that. I'm really confused as to when the time of this story takes place so you might want to clear that up. I can really feel the chemistry between Draco and the girl, and you were much more descriptive this chapter! She still needs a name. I can't wait to read your next chapter! It's a very interesting story! Keep writing! I NEED to know this girl's name!!!

Author's Response: yeah and no please dont apologise i like to improve and so that will be changed :D its set during hogwarts with harry and ron and the crew but its when you know in the half blood prince where draco ups and leaves cause after dumbledore gets killed he goes with the death eaters and doesnt really ever return, well not properly :D and sorry about that i think its because i ALWAYS write in first person so doing something in third person is well weird so its hard not to slip back into it. but i will go back over and change it XD and yeah you felt the chemistry! and yer about the name again *email XD

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Okay, so I'm a bit confused. Luna just died? I just checked the genre listing on the story, but I'm pretty sure it's AU (Alternate Universe) unless it's some sort of weird dream again. I still want to know this girl's name. You may want to change your warnings, and I'm a little bit obsessive about grammar so I'd really recommend getting a beta (someone to read through your story before you submit, I think). Luna didn't sound exactly like Luna, but she's a very hard character to capture, and you did an exceptional job! I'm still dying to know this girl's name, and I'm determined. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: ooh i am so happy with all your REVIEWS!!! :D hehe yer so she just killed luna, i'll change the thingie in the wanrings, sorry sometimes they confuse me as it doesnt say exactly what it means so i just well basically put anything in! :D but yes i'll make sure its right. and yes my betas reading through and making changes. so i'll post the new ones when the que opens up again XD yes i always find luna hard to capture, but i am glad you think i did exceptionally XD yes i think i might put a warning in the summary about her being OOC. and about the name check below in the response and you can name her, i have my email :)
thanks again i am so glad you're keeping reading them it means so much XD

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Once again, I liked the development, but I still got lost in the dialogue. Whom does she mean by 'us' and 'them'? Gryffindors and Slytherins? Someone and Death Eaters? Perhaps some more explanation would make it more clear. I liked the part with Murphy and Draco. It was funny. There are still some grammar mistakes with spelling and parallelism, but otherwise, great plot! Can't wait for the next chapter. This girl needs a name, and I'm detirmined to find out.

Author's Response: sorry i am so sorry i am having my beta going back through all of them and i will change it to make it clearer, sorry again XD hehe and about the name i'll tell you what because i cant think of one YOU CAN NAME HER! as long as its not too like i dont know like *flower or something then its all good XD so just leave it in a review :)

ooh i tell you what, i'll put here my email if you want to email it to me -
so its sazbarker and then the @ thingie and then googlemail and then .com
i hope thats clear, it wont let me send it all together.

THANKS AGAIN!

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I like the story line, but the dialogue can be hard to follow sometimes. There are still some grammar mistakes, but this has some real potential! I'm also sort of wondering... does this girl have a name, or is it part of the mystery? You have a really good plot, and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: yeah! yes i am having my beta read all the chapters back through and make it better :) so i will update them new when the que re-opens and will let me :D and the name is a mystery i think :D (basically i cant think of a name for her but its adds to it :D)

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This is a good idea! I like the plot so far! I found a few grammar errors so you might be interested in getting a beta. Otherwise, I see some real potential, and I can't wait to see how you develop the plot! Some more description might be a little helpful, but besides that, you're doing an awesome job!

Author's Response: ar thankyou so much! yes i will get into contact with my beta :D i am so glad you enjoyed it though!

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Gryffindork? I'm a Ravencleptomaniac (not good, I know!) Hey, we can't all be Hufflepoufs!

Ha ha, sorry about my bad jokes... I was up late last night. Anyway, Noah scares me like the crazy child she is. And I'm pretty sure the Weasley/Potters have WAY too much candy in their households. Their children are out of control... I love it! Update soon, pretty pretty please! Good luck with your science project!!!

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Ohmigod. That was the end. The end of the story. The end of Andy's story. Please, please, please, please, PLEASE make a sequel! But I don't wanna be rude because I totally understand how life can get in the way of writing, but I can't believe it! It was an absolutely amazing story! Definitely one of my faves:D

Author's Response: aww thanks so much! i'm really glad you liked the story, and I miss Andy already too, so I'm doing my best to think of a decent plot for a sequel. We'll see how that goes. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Cheers.

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WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!?!?!?!?!? SCOLD, SCOLD, SCOLD! YELL, YELL, YELL! VIRTUALLY SCORN IN ALL CAPS!
Okay, I'm done:) YOu're back! The Marauders shared secrets. (I for one do not want to see what Peter and Rayne did behind the mirror *shudder*) Please update soon, or else I'm going to send my imaginary pygmy puff Ralph after you. Actually, I won't, but I'm starting to get ideas!!! Update soon, woman!

Author's Response: *runs away from Ralph*
Sorry sorry sorry I know I'm dreadful aren't I? I just totally lack motivation but I am going to try and not be so crap anymore :D
I would like to congratulate you on your rather hilarious review :D
Sparkle x

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B-b-but!!! Teddy! What is it with you and killing all my favorite characters?!?!?!?!?!? Just kidding. Kind of. I guess I really should have known. :( At least you updated! I'm hooked on this story! Albus is being a jerk. Okay, maybe he's a little pass the jerk stage, but what I'd prefer to call him isn't allowed in a review. I'm actually kind of excited to find out why he's doing it though. Update soon!!!
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!! And I know, I'm evil...very evil. But, Teddy and Victoire are my favorite characters, too, so it was actually really hard for me to write this chapter, but it had to be done! And hahaha, yeah.he's a little past the jerk stage now...but he wasn't just being a killer here, but a mean, sadistic killer if thats what youre trying to say. haha.

Thanks again for the review! And I just updated!



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Okay, so I know that this is the second thing I've caught, but I loved the glee quote:)
"Well, I checked out of this conversation about a minute ago, so I'm going to go. Remind me to make it a habit not to talk to you because this has been a colossal waste of my time."
I was freaking out over the grilled cheesus!

Anyway, I loved this chapter! Molly made the team! Woo! I definitely want to see more of my favorite pyscho aka Lucy! Update soon!

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Great chapter! You're writing makes everything so clear! The action was written very well! Can't wait for the next chapter! I want to see how Remus and Kerri resolve their riff.
10/10

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it.



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Okay first off:

Beautifully written chapter! I really want to know more about the Addy/James situation and whether she meets Regulus or not!

Second, you quoted Wicked aka my favorite musical. You just got a virtual hug.

Can't wait for the next chapter! Post soon!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll make sure to add some more Addy/James action ;)

Yay! haha love the virtual hug!

=) Ill post as soon as I can! Thanks for reviewing!!

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Bleh!!! Rawr fleuger gimin hagen!

Sorry, Artemis gets expletives, I get jibberish.

Alex. Fred. Kiss. Soup.

Perfect combination! Update soon please!!! Do it! I don't know your future, but do it!

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Ahh! Suspense! Can't wait for the next chapter whenever you get it out! Loved it!

Author's Response: I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make it Monday but I'm going to really try to work on it a lot this weekend. I found a lot of inspiration at Universal Studios.

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"But I still think her national hero is a pervert."

I was about dying laughing when I read that! Great chapter! I love how you potray Kerri's relationship with Tonks, and I can't wait to read about the World Cup!

Author's Response: Well --- I guess Kerri kind of has a point. Would you want to be around some creepy old guy who could see through your clothes?

I am working on the World Cup scene now. I think I might have at least half of it done by next Monday and then save the other part for the next.

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Alright, at risk of sounding creepy, I love you. I'm practically crying at the fact Andy is a bloke. Can't wait for the next update!

Author's Response: Hahaha, thank you. :-) I will try to update soon!

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Yay! More Rhys action! For some reason, I love him. I kind of want Kerri to take him so I can have Remus... Anyway, this was a brilliant chapter, and I can't wait to read the next one!
10/10

Author's Response: Good, I'm glad people like Rhys because that was my intention. I wanted him to be the person that Lockhart seemed to be but wasn't. You know, kind of a Mr. Perfect; handsome and smart and talented and all of that. Only unlike Lockhart, he really is all of those things.

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Ahh! Regulus! What a way to make Sirius jealous.

I really like this story! Thanks for telling me about it! I love the friendship between James and Chloe a lot! Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah, most stories don't really have James and Sirius being just FRIENDS with a girl, so I decided that Chloe should be quite close with them. Any critisism or ideas for future chapters? PM me xxx

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