Reading Reviews From Member: Northumbrian
  
91 Reviews Found

Review #1, by NorthumbrianClosed Secrets: Miss Always Invisible

7th November 2010:
Hi
You really manage to bring a character who is no more than a name to life. Lisa's self-doubt in the first part of this story, is very well written, well done.
Colin Creevey's death is an event which seems to run through my stories, too. You manage to bring out the tragedy of the death of the youngest combatant (who would not have any mourners at his bedside because his parents are Muggles.
A couple of things to look at:
First: on the edge of the road for a week? That seems very unlikely. Perhaps you should expand on that. Perhaps that is what she wass told, after all, she was three, she can't remember.
Second: Second section, third paragraph - "she was scared off" should be "she was scared of" and "guiltity" minor things, I know, and easily fixed.
Well done.
N

Author's Response: Hullo!
Thank you!
I was sort of experiencing this at the present time and I suppose that effected my writing.
I felt so sorry for him when he died. He was such a lively character that I felt I just need to add him in there.
I had an idea this morning on how to fix that and was just about to change it.
Yes, I'm hoping to invest in a beta for all my stories eventually.
Thank you again!
x Ely


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Review #2, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Another Picture

22nd August 2010:
The idea of flashes, of someone taking pictures of the battle is inspired.
From the moment the name Dennis is mentioned we know that it is Dennis, but until then there are merely hints.
This is a good first person pov tale.
N

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Review #3, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: This I Swear

22nd August 2010:
Intersting twist on Draco's story. It certainly fits, because while Draco is incapable of taking someones life he is quite capable of standing by and watching someone else do it.

I had always assumed that Draco, Crabbe and Goyle stayed at school "'ung back" as Crabble (or Goyle) said. But this peice shows how scared Draco is of Voldemoert, and does it well.

N

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Review #4, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Those With A Noble Heart

22nd August 2010:
I love Sir Cadogan (well perhaps love is too strong a word) but this story brilliantly points out that, despite Cadogan's wishes, war is neither noble nor chivalrous.
Personally I'd have loved to see the words varlet and blackguard, to, but then I've always been a sucked for the cod-medieval.
One thing, it should be chivalric skills, not chivalry skills.
N

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Review #5, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Blood Purity's Not Worth Bloodshed

22nd August 2010:
Amazing
I find it more than a little unbelievable to discover that Draco has a conscience, however the fact that even he does not beleieve it wins me over.
Well done.
N

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Review #6, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Paladin

22nd August 2010:
Arthur the quet man turns into Arthur the leader, Arthur the Paladin. Gread title by the way. I have visions of "the once and future king" in this story. The way Arthur takes control seems so natural. His orders are to hold for as long as possible, and we know that he will.
I'm really impressed by this story, because so many stories make arthur a bumbling buffoon. As he once told Harry, 'you're talkign to the man who raised Fred and George.'
N

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Review #7, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: What Is Most Important

22nd August 2010:
No
it doesn't matter how hard you try, you're not going to make me actually like Lucius Malfoy.
However, you do, somehow manage to make me feel some sympathy for him. Well done.
The Malfoys were given a hard lesson, their home taken over, their wands taken (all of them, I'm afraid, Draco lost his mother's in the Room of Requirement (-: ) and nothing to show for all their years of devotion to Voldemort's cause.
They are a flwed and cruel family, but at least they are a family and you manage to show that nicely.
N

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Review #8, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Retribution

22nd August 2010:
Why didn't I think of putting Bill against Greyback?
Given thier history it's brilliant, and I never even considered it.
Yet another wonderful Weasley story from you, this one showing a solid and very adult relationship between Bill and his wife.
Again canon correctness impells me to tell you that hermione was underneeathe the invisibility cloak when she blasted Greyback from Lavender.
Neil

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Review #9, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: The Longest Walk

22nd August 2010:
I'd never considered the effect that witnessing Harry's death would have had on Hagrid, but you portrayed it beautifully.

Hagrid has lost so much to the Death Eaters and to his old schoolmate Tom Riddle. Hagrid is another person who Voldemort always underestimates.

I have to say that I think "scandalous tales like this one were fodder for gullible ears" is a pretty big think for someone of Hagrid's vocabulary. (-;

Neil

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Review #10, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Against the Wall

22nd August 2010:
Well
That surprised me, a nice little normal Fred story which did not end in his death.
It is all the better for that, I think. You show us Fred the businessman, Fred the joker, Fred the organiser the Fred who is (as heshould be) completely unaware that he won't see the dawn. That makes this one of the most powerful Fred stories I've read.
N

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Review #11, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: The Prodigal Son

22nd August 2010:
Well another wonderful portrait of a Weasley. Poor Percy, It must have taken a lot of courage to return to his family, to admit that he was wrong and to face the consequences.
I loved your characterisation of Perce, he's still a bit stuffy, but at least he's able to take the mickey out of himself a bit (that's probably a natural defence mechanism from the twins).
It was nice to discover that he'd even sacrificed his private life in his opursuit of a career. That simply made me feel more sorry for him.
N

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Review #12, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Taking the Plunge

22nd August 2010:
This is absolutely wonderful, a missing moment that really should not have been missed in my opinion.
But you are such a tease:
Hermione (breathless and pale): "Was that it?"
Ron: "When I went to stab the locket, it kept talking to me, showing me things. It was awful."
Ron - Maybe she understood anyway.
Maybe it did speak to her somehow?
Not I want to know.
N

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Review #13, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: The Lie

22nd August 2010:
Mel
And on to Ginny
This is Ginny at her best (of course she usually is, in my opinion). I love Ginny's words af comfort and hope even when she does not really believe them herself.
The only little error I've spotted is that you say "as midnight neared she headed for the forest" the first Battle, the first attack on the castle, started at midnight. "The Forest again took place within an hour or so of dawn so it would be four or five in the morning when Ginny found the girl.
(Yes, I worked out a timeline for the battle for my stories)
Pedantically yours
Neil

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Review #14, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Hope

22nd August 2010:
I looked around for Charlie in DH and he doesn't do much does he. The idea of him going into the forest for allies is clever and very in character for the creature-loving Weasley.
I'm pretty sure that he was actually with Slughorn, rounding up the reinforcements, but here he's in the forest, rounding up the reinforcements.
I love Arthur in this "Been a rough day," good old Arthur, always the master of understatement.
N

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Review #15, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: The Last Straw

22nd August 2010:
Mel
So, finally, I get around to reading your Weasley stories, with a matter of hours to go.
What a treat this was, Hell hath no fury like a mother... You didn't need to finish this it could stop right there, Fred and George already knew that. Bella, loveless childless Bellatrix never could and that is why she would always underestimate Molly.
It's interesting that reading this makes me see even more parallels between the Molly/Bella fight and the Harry/Voldemort fight. In both cases the villain was really defeated by their failure to understand parental love. Of course, that's the parallel you intended to draw, isn't it?
N

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Review #16, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Never

22nd August 2010:
The canon guy in me wants to know how Alecto escaped from McGonnagall's binding spell, but the rest of me is just happy to see Minerva in action.
This story really needed another beta read before being submitted. This section:
"her flying her eyes narrowed into a glare" for example does not make sense. I'd advise more read-throughs before publication in future, but, otherwise, nice story.
N

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Review #17, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Disgrace

22nd August 2010:
The companion peice to Fallen, with Tonk's death shown from the eyes of her killer. I'm not reading the Battle fics in any particular order, but i've alreadty read a couple of "Tonks dies" stories. Your two views of the same incident are the best I've read so far and Bellatrix in this story is a truly chilling monster. Completely without compassion.
I line Tonk's last words, and Bella's failure to understand who is the disgrace to the name of wizard.
N

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Review #18, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Fallen

22nd August 2010:
Fleur, lovely Fleur
So often protrayed as a blonde bombo but in reality the Beauxbatons champion, an accomplished witch and noble and clever enough to attract Bill Weasley. This highly effective Fleur is wonderful and the fight scenes are some of the best I've read in this Challenge. Well done.
N

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Review #19, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Promise Unbroken

22nd August 2010:
This is a well written and entirely believable missing moment from DH. Harry and Ginny parted with an unspoken understanding after the kiss. But this would have been so much better. Ginny is passionate to the point of being frightening in this story and that is good. That is very good.
N

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Review #20, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Last Moments of a Red-Headed Hero

22nd August 2010:
I always find Percy the hardest Weasley to write. I think that you have captured him here.
you have also captured Fred's natural instinct to laugh and the shortness of this peice does not lessen its impacct, even though we know where it will end.
N

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Review #21, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: The Graveyard

22nd August 2010:
Colin rescues Lavender.
That is a twist I have not seen before.
Colin always struck me as the eternal optimist, Harry seemed completely unable to upset him, so this dour and battle weary colin came as something of a surprise. That, plus the lack of recognition from Lavender slightly spoiled this story for me. When I'm reading a first person tale I like to have a few clues to help me guess the narrator. Here there were none. I think ythat a few clues would have piqued my Curiosity.
N

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Review #22, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Tea Cozies

22nd August 2010:
Another interesting elf tale. I liked Dobby's apearance to Winky, but I'm not certain about the other house Elf's name, Mobbsi.
Still, if that's my only complaint it isn't much.
N

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Review #23, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Peaceful Quidditch Pitches

22nd August 2010:
This short glimpse into the final minutes of the battle is good, but I'm surprised that Percy was still crying for Fred so many hours after his ddeath.
There is an unfortunate typo Weasely instead of Weasley. That particular miss spelling always annoys me, so I always point it out when I spoty it.
N

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Review #24, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: I Will Always Love Him

22nd August 2010:
Nice first person pov from Ginny.
In my view, the irony of this story is that by the time of this exchange Cho means next to nothing to Harry, whereas Luna is one of his most trusted friends and one of Harry's three favourite girls.
N

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Review #25, by NorthumbrianThe Final Battle: Ocean Eyes

22nd August 2010:
Stream of consciousness grief. That is a very difficult thing to achieve and you have succeeded admirably. The mix of memoriies and emotions is so real. George is right, of course, only Fred would be crass enough to make jokes about his twin's missing ear. And that is sad.
N

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