Two big things. Well, three. Except two, well really just the one, because I forgot what all of them but I BLOODY LOVED IT were. Oh, yeah! The new dynamic between Sirius and Deb makes me want to wring their necks. But the tension between them is great, and I can tell you're having a lot of fun writing them butting heads, even if it's sort of saddening to see them still butting heads. But come on, as a writer you can do all sorts of horrible things to your characters and just appreciate the brilliant interactions that can result from horrible settings! Well, okay, maybe I'm the only one who is like 'ooo, cool character, now, how will he best benefit the story? How about if he dies and his sister's all broken up about it? COOL!' (I blame that on my frequently-resurfacing morbid tendancies.) Anyway, I want to wring their necks, I loved the bit with Sirius and his bike in the first chapter, and I can't wait to see more!
LucyAuthor's Response: haha, wow, thank you for two big/three big/one big thing(s)... glad you like the horrific tension... but I have to say I won't be killing anyone right now, that would probably just go waaay past my writing ability and er also I don't particularly want to... but I get your drift! anyway, thanks for reviewing, I hope you enjoy the rest! Report Review
(This went through about seven edits, a good number of them in my head, before I managed to refrain from sounding like an idiot who's slightly delirious from sleep deprivation and hyped up on some brilliant fiction, so sorry if it sounds a bit stiff but that's the only way I was sure it wouldn't sound like I was hyped up on something other than sleep deprivation and sugar.)
This is simply, utterly brilliant. It was so good that I stayed up way past my bedtime to read it; somehow going to bed at 6am doesn't seem like the smartest plan, but heck, this story was worth it. I loved and hated the ending; I'm looking forward to the sequel. Maybe something will be somewhat better resolved there?
I really liked Debbie, she's a nice strong character and she has a background that's not just superficial. I like that you addressed that, and that you didn't simply leave loose ends dwindling into no-where because you forgot about them, or some such thing. I really loved the sarcastic remarks in the middle of some of the tenser parts, which had me dying with laughter in places where I probably shouldn't have, but it made me get through all of them without as much fuss.
I can't wait to go look into the sequel, I'll do it a bit later today, though. I'm a little regretting the sleep deprivation at this point. However, if it's anything like this was, I'm sure it'll be amazing!
LucyAuthor's Response: thank you! lovely lovely review an i'm so glad you liked it. you're right, it's not the sort of ending that makes you like, 'ah, all sorted. that was nice', but that's because the sequel is out there and hey, you needed a reason to read it! and i'm glad you like debbie, and i did try to grab all the loose ends (about her past anyway, you may or may not have noticed the slytherins loose ends) and anyway thanks again for a great review, i hope you got some sleep and enjoy the sequel! Report Review
I really enjoyed this! It was powerful and a good interpretation of what someone in Gemma's position would have gone through, which I think a lot of writers overlook. It's also one of those stories that you just keep wanting more out of, even though I couldn't imagine how you could continue it. Very good job.
LucyAuthor's Response: Hello and thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story! And yeah...it would be pretty difficult to continue now. Thanks again! Report Review
I really enjoyed this so far! Your writing style is very strongly defined; my only real critique is that you have a few usage errors (you're instead of your, etc.). October is an amusing character, and I really like her name. The scene in this chapter where she was mooing to the Great Cow was probably my favourite.
I can't wait for more!
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