I'm really proud of myself for getting this review to you so soon. :)

When it's talking about how Ron is saving his money for Auror Training, you wrote "That was a small part of the reason he hadn't did his Auror training with Harry," but the 'did' should be a 'done'. Probably just a typo but I thought I would point it out.

There are a few other typos that could be fixed with a quick reread of the chapter, like somethings that aren't capitalized that should be or vice versa (Dept. of Regulations and Control of Magical Creatures, for example) a couple commas where there should be a period or semi colon ("I thought to day was your day off; why were you doing paper work?"). A few misused or misspelled words herea nd there. There are just several random typos. I would recommend either reading what you write several times before you post, or getting a beta. Or maybe even both, would be the better choice.

And now about the story:

I liked it. I wasn't too drawn in at the beginning and I could foresee her being pregnant, but it's good and I like it. However, I can't really picture Hermione being so tolerant of him making a big, crumby mess in her living room, or making him food the second he walks in the door. It just doesn't seem like a Hermione thing. I also don't really see Ron automatically asking for a sandwich. He's a big boy, he can make him own food. I'm not trying to be mean, this is just my opinion; you don't even need to listen to it. :)

Thanks for requesting. If you want me to review the next chapter, don't forget to request the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for revieiwing! :)
I'll look into getting a beta and thanks for the CC, I'll take it into account when I edit the story.
I'm glad you liked it though and thanks again for reviewing! :)

 Report Review

Oh my gosh, I am *so* sorry for the really long wait for this review! D: There was my birthday and school shopping and school starting and getting back into the swing of things and I was just so busy. D: I'm SO SORRY!!! D:

Anyway, I'll get this done so you don't have to wait any longer. D:

I don't really have any comments on the beginning until he said her name in her sleep. Haha, I see what you did there. :D I love it, it's so adorable.

The whole time while they were talking I was on the edge of my seat (figuratively, of course. I was laying down on my bed. :P ). It was really well written and attention-grabbing. It seemed realistic and kind of emotional. Not necessarily like crying emotional, but like you would tell what emotions Hermione, and even Ron, were feeling.

I don't really have a whole lot else to say, other than that I really liked the line, "Passing through the halls like a ghost..." I don't know why exactly, but I do like it a lot.

Once again, sorry for the wait, and hopefully I didn't scare you off. I would love for you to request the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: That's totally fine. I hope you had a great birthday. :) I really liked writing that one moment reminiscent of the one in HBP. I wanted it to be the catalyst that made Hermione realize she's somehow attached to Ron. I'm glad you liked this chapter, this one was the very first I've written :) Thanks so much for the review and don't worry about taking your time, I don't mind at all . I hope you'l like the next chapter, too.

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Alrighty! Here's your review! Sorry about the wait! My birthday was Friday (thanks for the happy birthday wish, by the way! :) ) and then I was unexpectedly busy over the weekend. So now is the earliest I could review. *ashamed*

These two sentences: "‘I was yelling at him because he hates me,’ she explained. ‘He hates me and thinks I’m annoying and calls me a hypocrite.’
and
‘But don’t act like you didn’t already know,’ she said accusingly, pushing Peregrine away from her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’"
should be combined into one paragraph, as it is just her speaking and Peregrine isn't speaking between her two sentences.

One question: Why do you always refer to "the Keeper and the Chaser" as "the Keeper and Chaser?" I mean, why not "Billy Joe and Bob?" I mean, it would be weird if those were their names, but they don't have names so I don't have anything to work with. :P

I like the relationship between Peregrine and Dominique, and I think he gave her good advice. However, I don't think she acted well on that advice. I think she could have tried a little bit harder to get his attention. She had it, obviously, but she didn't know it. I think maybe she should have just continued apologizing, explaining, whether she thought he was listening or not.

Anyway, that's all I've really got to say on this chapter, as it was a fairly short chapter.

Bye! :)

Author's Response: Hi, no worries. I'm just happy you're still willing to read this. You had a good birthday, btw?

I made the two sentences two paragraphs on purpose, because I wanted her to pause in between them. Debating whether to say it or not. Letting her anger build a little before accusing Peregrine. I'll go back and edit that to make it more clear, thank you for pointing it out.

And about the Keeper and the Chaser, I don't really know, it just happened. The Keeper gets a name in the next chapter, though ;)

Scorpius can be a really cold and insensitive person sometimes and it was already hard for her to face him, while she was still angry and hurt. Apologising was a bit of a defeat for her, so I do understand why she wasn't trying too hard - but she WAS trying ;)

Thanks for the review!

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Alrighty, here's your review that you requested on Thursday! Sorry about the wait. My birthday was on Friday, and I've been unexpectedly busy all weekend. But, here I am! :)

The first thing I really want to comment on is, when referring to James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, when you call them 'marauders' that should be capitalized. 'Marauders.' Also, 'Muggle' is capitalized.

Okay, so the first part of the chapter, as in, the part before the first page break, was good. I liked it. It seemed to capture Lily's panicked-ness, as well as how she feels about the Marauders. And although the reader would understand that she hates James, you put more emphasis on the fact that she is friends with Remus. And while that's good, I would advise for you to maybe put just a little more emphasis on the Lily-James relationship and how she feels about him.

Now for the second part: I really don't have a whole lot to say on this part, as nothing really happened, but I do have a question. Why doesn't Lily call James 'Potter'? I mean, he calls her Evans, she doesn't like him... It's like a big deal or anything, I'm just curious. :)

Third part: I really liked Lily's internal monologue about whether or not she should drink. I liked how she acted while she was drunk, playing with James' cheecks. That was funny. :)

That's really all I've got to say, other than you're missing a couple commas here and there. Nothing major, but you may want to read over and add a comma or two. :)

Don't forget to rerequest a review! :)

Author's Response: First part: I think that I should put more focus on the James/Lily relationship, but I think a lot of the later parts of the story focus on that more. The Remus/Lily friendship is extremely important to the story, so I wanted to make sure people understood that. I will probably change a few things around.

Second part: I'll be sure to be consistent with that. I think she outwardly calls James 'Potter', but inside her head she calls him James, as I'm sure he does as well.

Third part: She's a bit insane, so the internal monologue seemed to fit.

Thanks so much for the review, I'll rerequest soon!

~Caitlin

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Here I am with your requested review! :)

I'm going to tell you now, there won't be a whole lot of constructive criticism, if any at all.

I must say, I was pulled in from the first sentence, and it lasted until the last word. Especially the last scene, as was probably to be expected. :P

Your concerns that you told me about were:
-Flow: I think the flow was fine. I was never confused about what was happening. It "flew" perfectly.

-Characterization: That was fine. Obviously after James and Lily left Hogwarts things were tougher so James and the other Marauders weren't as light-hearted and fun-spirited, but I think you did mention that they were those things during school. And you mentioned several times that "Lily was berating" James, or Sirius, even, when they came to visit James in the hospital.

-Plot/style: They were great. The plot was original and not cliched. The style was great. You could tell Lily and James just wanted to be light-hearted and fun, but the war was not letting them do so.

That's all I've really got to say. :)

Author's Response: Hiya ;)

I'm glad you liked this! It's lovely to know that you were grabbed by the first sentence -- I always have trouble with them, lol. And YAY to you liking the last scene!

Thank you for saying it flowed fine and that you weren't confused -- some did find it confusing, so it's nice to know you didn't :) And yay to the characterisation being okay. Ha, I know, Lily was giving James a hard time at points, but hopefully you understood why.

I'm so glad you didn't find this story cliched! James/Lily often is cliched, sadly, but it's lovely to know you didn't think so :)

Ta for the review!

~Soraya~

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Here's your requested review. :)

I really liked the quote at the beginning. I had to read it a couple times to understand it, but I did like it. :)

When Eileen was telling Dominique to get that smile off her face, you wrote, "‘Get that smile of your face,’" There needs to be a second 'f' in 'of'.

When Dominique was talking about how she was crazy about the beaters, she said, "She was crazy about them to." You used the wrong form of "to." In this case it needs to be "too."

This sentence: "They didn’t always like him, didn’t know what to make of him and more often than not wanted to strangle him, but he was the boss." This doesn't totally make sense. Maybe try it like this: "The didn't always like him, didn't always know what to make of him, and more often than not, they wanted to strangle him, but he was the boss."

Here it's not completely necessary to replace the first comma with a semi colon, but it might improve readability (is that a word? Haha. :P ) "Two hours of madness followed, flying Quaffles and murderous Bludgers, a traitorous Snitch and a crowd that loved it all."

Here: " A flurry of arms, legs and hair and the red ribbon she had tied her hair with got loose." I think you should try to word it a little more like this: "In a flurry of arms, legs, and hair, the red ribbon she had tied in her hair came loose."

Here: "All was in slow motion and Dominique, almost in awe, watched the ribbon twirl..." This doesn't make very much sense. Maybe like this: "In slow motion, Dominique watched the ribbon twirl..." I think if you were going to put "in awe" then you might have to trade it out with "in slow motion" because I think both together is just too much.

As to your other concerns that you asked me to looks for:

Emotion: Yes, I can feel the emotion from word one. You know she loves Scorpius. You know she's crushed when she finds out he dislikes her. You can feel it, yes.

It is understandable, and it does keep my interest, even though it's not necessarily the kind of story that I normally read.

There ya go! If you have any questions, you can PM me or whatever. :)

Don't forget to request the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Ahh, yes, I love this. Spelling mistakes. No matter how many times I re-read my own chapters, I just never seem to spot them. Probably because I know what I wanted to write and should've written. Tricky brain.

Also, I have to admit the little changes you make to my sentence really are a world of difference. So thank you so much. Will edit the chapter as soon as possible and I'll definitely be back for chapter 2.

Thank you!

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That was the most perfect thing I have ever read. The perfect comeback from such a long hiatus.

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Here's your review! :)

This sentence doesn't really make any sense to me. Maybe consider rewording. 'Desperately, “But if you let me talk to her…'

Also, this sentence should have a period after 'desperately' instead of a comma. 'Desperately, “But if you let me talk to her…'

I really liked this. I think you captured the Severus's vulnerabilty at the thought of Lily's death really well.

Feel free to come back and rerequest for another review for the next chapter! :)

9/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that out, I'll have to fix that sentence a little bit to make it clearer. (The comma is actually grammatically correct because it's an adverb with the implied 'said').

I thought that Snape wouldn't be able to be a good occlumens given the circumstances, even if he is normally, so I'm glad that you were able to pick up on it.

Thank you for the review!
Houlestar

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Here's your review! :)

I really liked this. :)

I agree with Fluer. Muffins are amazing. I want one (or more) now. :P Preferably chocolate chip. Haha.

I think Fluer was characterized well, especially with wanting to be the brightest woman in the room, but still sweet at the same time.

I didn't find any grammar mistakes, so I compliment you and/or your beta on that front. :)

This was very interesting, and I was really pulled into it almost as soon as I started reading, stopping only to answer my phone when my mom called. :P

Feel free to request another review when the next chapter is up. :)

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reviewing so quickly :)

I'm so glad you liked it -- and yes, muffins are amazing. Blueberry and chocolate chip are my favorite. Anyway, that's beside the point :)

I'm happy that you thought I characterized Fleur well, since she's a little different from the characters I usually write. The grammar is all me, no beta, so I'm glad that came across flawlessly for you! *smiles proudly*

So glad it held your interest. I'll definitely think about re-requesting when I get chapters two and three up. Thanks again! :)

academica

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I'm reviewing! And I'm so loving this cute little story.

There weren't really any major grammar mistakes, so that's good. The story was adorable, and I loved it. Just sayin'.

I think Harry's proposal was very. Harry. Haha. :)

I totally agree with Ginny about the thing about winter sucking is that it's cold. Haha. :)

That's really all I have to comment on, so.

Happy writing!! :)

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: Oh thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it, that makes me super happy!

Good thing on the grammar, I suck so badly at grammar it's embarrassing.

Oh good thing on it being Harry I try to make him as Harry-ish as possible :)

I hate winter for that reason only, so I had to put in in there :)

Thanks!

Lizzie

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Here I am for that review that was requested like forever ago. :)

First things first: The summary says, "Oliver Wood was known to his classmates as a obsessive, perfectionist, and slightly insane Quidditch fan. " It should say, "Oliver Wood was known to his classmates as an obsessive, perfectionist, and slightly insane Quidditch fan."

'She pulled her cloak close to her skin careful to keep a tight grip on her wand.' There should be a comma between 'skin' and 'careful.'

These two paragraphs should be combined into ones: '“Charles,” she whispered as her husband suddenly stopped.
“Charles, is everything alright?” She asked suddenly, hearing him emitt a soft shocked sob. Her husband turned his brown eyes gave him an exhausted look and his hair stood on end.' and there should be a comma between 'soft' and 'sob.'

'She looked up, her eyes stared back at Charles who ran his hand through his hair.' There should be a comma after 'Charles' and after 'who.'

I didn't point out all the grammar mistakes, but there are still some in there. I know I beta "Building Dollhouses In The Sand," and I would like to review this one, but I don't have time to do so, what with school and such. However, I would, if I were you, find a beta to do this story as well.

I do think it was so sweet that Charles took Oliver on the broom. I loved that so much.

The chapter itself was good, but please think about what I said about a beta. :)

9/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: first off sorry for the late response.

Thank for the lovely review, and I do know I have grammar mistakes which is why I'm taking a course to improve them soon :)

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Yup. Still really like. Still interested in beta'ing. :)

A few typos I'd like to point out here are:
You said, 'Don' instead of 'Dom.'
“well, I think I'll be off.” “Bye Mum,” should say, "Well, I think I'll be off. Bye, Mum."

It's just little things that a quick read through won't fix. :)

Once again, this was great, and I'll get in touch with you through the forums to talk about beta'ing, yes? :)

9/10

~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

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Ohh, I love it!
There were a few typos here and there, such as:
In the beginning you wrote 'to' instead of 'too.'
You wrote, 'this year is going to be so excited!' when it should have said exciting.

I actually saw you're beta wanted post, so I came here to read what you had written up so far.

I like it! I think Sarah (is that her name?) is a lot like me, and Dom and Minnie are like a couple of my friends (minus Dom's fighting. None of my girl friends are really into that kind of thing. :P )

I'm definitely open to beta'ing for you, that would be great.

9/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

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I was reading the A/N at the beginning and what's 'anon?' Sorry, I'm just kind of confused. :)
Okay, so to the review. This chapter was sooo good. Probably my favorite so far, actually. Usually, the funniest chapter is my favorite, but I have to make an exception because this chapter was GREAT. Seriously. I loved it. My favorite line had to have been, "“I’m going to wait here all night. Just like this. All adorable and such.”" That was great. :)


10/10
~BellaFan202~
I *love* Victoria, and I really want a Pygmy Puff. Just sayin'.

Author's Response: It's "anonymous," meaning the person did not list a name or a penname.

I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter! I really liked writing it. It was a mess of emotions, which always makes for a fabulous chapter. And I totally agree, I need a pygmy puff.

Thank you!

 Report Review

:O What happened? Did a Deathie get her!? Or is it before the war started getting bad? I don't know. It's kind of hard to tell exactly what's going on with the war when it's from a Muggle's POV. But I'm not complaining. It's a nice, original change, and I like it.

Can't wait for the next chapter!!! :)



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Hello there! Here I am with your requested review. :)

I thought it was super adorable how nice Teddy was to Rose are his Metamorphmagus-ness. It was super cute, as well as the fact that Rose had a crush on him from thereout.

The way you described things was amazing. "...You glanced up again into the heavy blue blanket that stretched across the sky, dotted with the tiniest hints of light."

I love the way you narrated. What was it, second person? Well, whatever it was, it made me feel like I was actually there, in the story, you know? Of course, that was also partly due to your awesome describing skills. :)

And that little moment between Rose and Scorpius? Brilliant! I loved it. :)

The way Scorpius was so... I don't know, deep, or, as he was described in the fic, "short, sweet, and to the point," was really cool. Usually you see him as the cool, popular, talkative, shallow guy when the story's main focus is Rose, at least until the main character gets to know him better, you know? Sorry if that didn't make any sense, but I'm not really sure how to explain what I mean. :P

The line, "Your ancestors would be rolling around in their graves," from right after she leaned her head on his chest, kind of made me laugh. Not really because it was funny, but because of how true it is, you know?

And Scorpius. oh Scorpius... It's so sad that he's been crushing on Rose but also helping her get her man at the same time. Classic love story, right? I adore it. :)

I love how she dubbed it, "The snogging incident, but not really." That just kind of made me laugh. I'm not exactly sure why, but I did. :)

I probably sound bad saying I hope Rose ends up with Scorpius instead of Teddy, because I feel like they would make a better couple.

I absolutely adored this cute little one-shot. It was. well, awesome. :)

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: Hey!

I figured him doing that would've made her comfortable and it was something that would appeal to a child her age (at least I hope it would for most of them). Maybe she started to feel because he took the time to ease her fear, another male who wasn't her dad or who wasn't exactly family.

I'm glad you liked my use of description :) Sometimes I think it wasn't enough. Yes, it was second person. Not many people like it but I really do simply because it puts them in the position of the speaker so instead of observing it feels like they're doing the actions.

I'm glad you noticed that. I wanted to create my own Scorpius, not that I don't enjoy reading anyone else's because their interpretations of him are hilarious but to suit this particular story, I wanted to write him differently. I get what you mean - we get to see who he really is from the start and he hardly says anything.

You're probably the only one (except for my beta) who picked that up, thank you. It is really true!

I love Scorpius. I really do. And it is a shame that he's felt that way about her for so long but hasn't really done a thing to help his situation at all, if anything, he pushed her straight to him. I did have intentions for them to get together in the end or at least have Scorpius sitting on the other side of that table instead of Teddy but I wanted Rose to get what she wanted. It doesn't happen very often and there's a good reason for it...it isn't what we need.

Haha, I'm glad you liked that part. It made me chuckle when I wrote it :) You and everyone else thinks that Rose belongs with Scorpius, I think so too.

Thank you so much for reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed the one-shot.

Lia.


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Here's your requested review! :)

You were missing a few commas here and there, like:
"She ruffled the small girl's hair laying her wand onto the nearby nightstand." There should be a comma between 'laying' and 'her'.
And this sentence: "Now dear it's time for bed” whispered the young woman picking up the child she walked out of the living room and towards the bedrooms in the back." This should look a little more like this: "Now dear, it's time for bed," whispered the young woman, picking up the child. She walked out of the living room and towards the bedrooms in the back."
If you want to, you can PM me on the forums and we can talk about beta'ing. :)


At this part, “He's coming!” said the voice that came from the small owl." I'm wondering where the owl came from. Was it the silvery ball of light, or what? Like, maybe a Patronus?

I'm not exactly sure what this means,"“To think that he would keep you safe pathetic Elizabeth” he whispered." Maybe think rewording that a little bit?

I'm not sure of this one either, "Hours after the child was found sleeping soundily on her mother's chest." I was assuming the flash of green light was from Advada Kedavra, but was the mother dead and the child was just sleeping with her or what happened?

As for the story, it was very good. I like it a lot so far. I really do. Fred and George were very well characterized, although I think they were both a little but quiter that they usually would be. Of course, that may be because they were nervous about Sorting. :)

Anyway, feel free to come back and request the next chapter! :)

/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: Sorry I hadn't answered your review sooner. I just got home today.

Thank you for taking your time to review :D

I'll take your suggestions thank you.

 Report Review

Here's your requested review! :)

That was good. Very teenage agnst. Very good.
I liked it a lot. I thought at first it was Hermione, and I continued to think and until I facepalmed and realized she had black hair and Hermione has brown hair.

The last sentence was my personal favorite, "He would never see the emotion, the feelings, the love behind these eyes." I'm not exactly sure what about that line, but I really do like it.

And, best of all, I didn't find any grammar/spelling/etc. errors, so that's great. :)

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)
P.S. Feel free to come back and request anything else! :)

Author's Response: Most people do believe it is Hermione when they read it, but alas it is not her. I've actually fleshed her out a bit more and have written a sequel to this story. She has a name now. :)

Thanks for the review!

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Here's your requested review! :)
I loved it, it was so... so Fred and George, you know? It was fantastic! I just... I loved it. :)
I loved that they used the broken Decoy. That made me laugh. :) Well, the whole thing made me laugh.
Well... everything except "You'll always be by partner in crime, George. No matter what." And that was a fantastic line. In fact, it was so fantastic, it made me want to cry, because of Fred's, ah, fate in the seventh book. *sob*

Okay... sorry...

Anyway, story=FaNtAsTiC!! :)

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!

Thank you so much! I was a little nervous about getting Fred and George's characters right, you know? But thanks, I'm glad that it worked!

That part was sad to write :(

Thanks again! :D

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Hello! Here with your requested review. :) Sorry it took so long. I was busy with some podcast stuff. :P

And oh. my. god. That was intense. And sad. And I'm at a loss for words. It was so good, but *man* it was sad. I loved it. I don't generally read AU fics, but this is really good.

One question though: who was the guy that took Ginny? Or are you going to say in the next chapter?

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

P.S. Feel free to come back and rerequest the next chapters! :)

Author's Response: haha, wasn't long at all! You're fast!

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! And yes, that's something that will come up in the next chapter or so. ^_^

Thanks! And I'll definitely come back to re-request the next two!
-Caiti

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Glad you enjoy my reivew so much! :) Here's your requested review. :)

Goodness, that was sad. It was so good, but also so sad. The way you described everything was wonderful. The way you showed Eileen's love for Severus was fantastic. The way you made Tobias's distaste for Severus was also great. The way you kind of showed that Tobias didn't want to be so angry at his son amazing.

So, all in all, the whole thing was fantastic. A great read, really.

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)
P.S. Don't worry about being selfish for requesting reviews. You're and awesome writer, and I welcome your requests. Feel free to come back whenever you want to! :)

Author's Response: I really do! It's nice to have a reviewer who is honest!

I'm glad you liked it! Once again, it's another stream of consciousness, a recurring technique in most of my works.

Thank you so, so much! I can't thank you enough! I appreciate it!

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Here I am with your requested review! :)

The first thing that grabbed my attention as I read this was that Addie was telling her dad that he wasn't allowed to talk to her, and that made me laugh. Especially this line: "Can't you see, Dad? I am no longer a naive little fourth year. I am a fifth year, with high levels of maturiosity and a prefect badge to prove it."

^That was awesome^ :)
vBut not quite as awesome as thisv :)

"You have been a wonderful father, a great role model, and I have enjoyed every minute I've spent with you. Goodbye, Dad."

And the *le sigh* was epic. It made me laugh like crazy. :)
So, I'm starting to think that the rest of this review is going to be favorite quotes, even though you were probably hoping for some constructive critism. Here's to hoping I don't disappoint you. ;)

I loved the "you shut up, no you, you" between Scorp and Addie. That made me laugh as welll. :)

Anywho, the whole thing was brilliant and I absolutely adored it. :)

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

P.S. Sorry it took so long. My favorite song came on half way through reading this and I had to stop and sing and dance along with it. :P

Author's Response: What are you talking about taking so long? :P Your fastness amazes me! ;)

Anyway, thank you for the review. I was hoping for a bit more crit, but this has made me a lot happier than crit would have :P It was a lovely review, one of the best reviews I've had :)

Eleanor

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Here I am with your requested review. :)

That was good. I like it. Alot.

At first I though it was funny that the MC pushed Lorcan into the water, until I realized that the MC was Lysander, and he was telling Lorcan that he, Lysander, was better and that he loved Lily Potter. I mean, I know technically he never said that, but I feel like that's what he was saying when he tripped Lorcan. Am I right, or am I just going crazy?

But like I said, it was very good.

Also, I definitely understand Lysander when he says he's not a runner. Phwoar. Running + me = death. :P

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: Wow, what a quick review! Thanks!

Yes, yes, you got it right. He's a nasty piece of work, that Lysander.

I do hope you liked it! I totally understand - I couldn't run to the kitchen without keeling over.

Thank you so much!

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Ahh, that was adorable! By the way, I think I'm going to start calling my drier "the beast." Or maybe the box. I don't know. Maybe both? Like alternate between the two?

Sorry. I'm rambling. :)

Anyway, like I said, it was adorable. I loved it. :D

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: Haha now that you mention it I should probably call mine that too. Im horrid with laundry machines :)

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Here is your review for winning second place to my Katy Perry Challenge! :)

Wow, that was so good. I knew from the summary that this was going to make me cry, and I was right. Everytime I read a story about Remus, Sirius, and Pettigrew after Lily and James die, I always cry. Every single time. But I never regret reading them, beause they're always good. And this was no exception.

I like that you had all three boys' thoughts. I thought that was a really good idea. And the way you did it, just made it all the better.

I like the way Pettigrew's part was written, but I can't help but think that that one was my least favorite. And I don't mean, I didn't like it. I just mean he angers me. The writing was fantastic, I promise.

Out of Sirius and Remus's thoughts, I can't really pick a favorite. Sirius made me cry, but Remus made me bawl, especially after he saw that he had thrown the picture of the Marauders and broken it, and then starting crying as well. :'(

It was so good.

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

Author's Response: thank you for the review! I'm sorry it made you cry, but glad you liked it.

At the time I wrote this I couldn't really find a story like it, and I wanted to portray all of their thoughts and feelings after James and Lily died, even Peter's.

I wanted it to be sad because I wanted to portray the real emotions that they would have felt at that moment in time.

lilyandjamesfan

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