Reading Reviews From Member: wolfygirl
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by wolfygirlWritten On His Face: Written On His Face

27th August 2011:
I LOVE this story. The idea to go through a different aspect each year was brilliant, and it was great to see how Sirius' feelings changed as he got older.

The ending was so sweet. I'm still grinning like a complete loon. Absolutely brilliant writing. Well done :)

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Review #2, by wolfygirlBecause I'm Perfect: No One Cares Because I Am Perfect

3rd April 2011:
HA! This story is painfully, awesomely bad. Love it :D Some of my favourites were:

- I am so abused and alone but still perky and now blonde.
- ...suddenly fell over even though I wasn't moving and my boobs cushioned my fall.

Also AHAHAHA at Hufflepuffs being finders. Very nicely done :D

Author's Response: I love that you got that finders joke!
Yeah I loved getting to make fun of all of those horrible bits of fan-fiction!
Thank you for the review they make my day :D

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Review #3, by wolfygirlStormy Grey Orbs: Stormy Grey Orbs

13th March 2011:
Ahahaha, that whole 'perfectly executed dip' thing at the end was priceless. Well done :D

Author's Response: Thank You, it was very fun to write! :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx

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Review #4, by wolfygirlLove is a Battlefield: Why We Gotta Fall for it Now

22nd November 2010:
EIBIDHihvsFVHSDIVHFSDVFSD! I can't be coherent right now because my mind has been turned into useless smush by the awesomeness of your story! You have reduced me to bouncing up and down in my chair and squealing like an idiot. Thank you :D

Everything about this story was brilliant. The buildup, the tension, the anger and the fighting, it all just made the whole situation that much more realistic and the ending that much sweeter. Thank you for a wonderful, wonderful read :) To my favourites!

Author's Response: *blushes*
Thank you so much. :D I must say, this review kinda made me jump up and down a bit. You're so kind and I'm glad that you enjoyed my little story! Thank you for reading and especially for taking the time to review! --Jenna

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Review #5, by wolfygirlKeeping the Secret: KA-POW!!

25th October 2010:
I love this story. LOVE it! I cannot tell you how glad I am that you asked me to review that first chapter. Keeping the Secret is going straight to my favourites :)

Hmm, favourite lines... O! how shall I pick!? I'm gonna have to go with two here, and my apologies to the rest of your comedic brilliance. I just don't feel it would be appropriate to repeat half the chapter in here :D

- "I think the professors are even betting on it, although, maybe not the hot passionate sex bit... that might be a tad inappropriate."
- "KA-POW!!! Woops. Make a note to apologise to Lily for my unacceptable behaviour."

I'm gonna have to go with those two for now, but the whole chapter was brilliant. The part about Remus and Mary being paired together made me bounce around with excitement in a way that was truly embarrassing. I can't wait for more :)

Author's Response: Ahhh, this review made my day!! :P

I'm sooo glad you liked this story! And LOL at 'comedic brilliance'... that's super sweet! I'm just glad other people find my sense of humor amusing enough!! xD

I love those lines too!! I giggled at myself when I wrote them... very cool of me! :) and Remus and Mary, lol. We'll see... I don't think I even know where that is going. ;)!

Thank you so much for reviewing!! This has really made my day and I promise to update as soon as I can. Chapter 3 is giving me a hard time, but should be up by next week! xx

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Review #6, by wolfygirlYou Poor Unfortunate Souls: It Begins

3rd October 2010:
Hey :) It's firebird from the forums here with your review.

Firstly I'd like to say that your writing is just beautiful.

"Bodies lay in cruel repose among the stones and glass. I cannot see their faces. If I force myself to see their faces I know it will break me."

Right off the bat you have this absolutely stunning piece of description. It's one of my favourite pieces from the whole chapter; writing like this makes me want to keep reading for your use of words alone.

I also think the way you've portrayed Draco here is very good. We know from the books that his heart may not have been 100% in being a Death Eater - not being able to kill Dumbledore showed that. Because of this I think the way he reacts in this chapter is perfect. He's obviously in shock, he's sickened by the blood, and there's that sense of hopelessness shown in this passage:

"I make no attempt to run. There is no point in running... I have nothing left to run to."

I think that intense mix of emotions is exactly how Draco would be feeling in this situation.

The style of writing you've used in the chapter is also perfect; it gives you a wonderfully clear idea of how Draco's feeling. It's almost as though he's in a daze. There's virtually no dialogue, and you've got scenes described in beautiful detail, followed by nothing for days. I don't know if you've done it intentionally, but there's almost a jumpy feel to the writing. Normally this would be a bad thing, but here it's so perfect! It gives such a clear picture of someone who's in shock, and kind of drifting in and out of awareness. Amazing work :)

In general your spelling and grammar are very good, but I did pick up on a couple of little mistakes. It seems to me like they're just typos - the kind of tiny errors that are hard to pick up when reading over your own work. For example:

"It is snatched from me to fast..." The 'to' here should be a 'too'.

There were only a few of these mistakes, and given the general quality of your writing I do think they're just typos. I'm sure if you read over the chapter very carefully you'll pick them up too, but as I said it's always harder to spot them in your own work than in someone else's.

Lastly I just want to say I love the final line of this chapter. Because he hasn't spoken since the final battle, this piece of dialogue is very dramatic and powerful. It's also a bit of a cliffhanger; it leaves you wanting to read on and find out what happens to him.

Overall this is a brilliantly written chapter. Your vocabulary and use of description is lovely, your spelling and grammar are good, and Draco's thoughts and actions seem perfectly in character. Draco/Hermione stories are always a bit risky to read, because there are so many bad ones out there. This, however, looks set to be one of those few great ones that makes me a sucker for the pairing. Well done :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

You are definitely right when you say it's hard to spot errors in your own work. I know that are a few little typos in this chapter and there are probably more that I haven't spotted. I put it up before I had a beta and haven't had this chapter gone over yet. It's one of those things that I keep meaning to get around to, but I always seem to get caught up in writing the next chapter.

I'm really glad to hear that I've stayed in character because I always think that's the hardest part.

Thanks again for the review. =)

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Review #7, by wolfygirlCaprice: Life at 11

30th September 2010:
Hi there :) It's firebird with your review. Sorry it took a couple of days. I wanted to read the next chapter to get a little more context, and ended up getting hooked and reading about 5 :P

Anyway, on to the chapter review! Firstly, I love that little introduction you have at the beginning. It's quite beautiful, and very intriguing. It makes me want to know what happens to her. Whose life does she change? Who walks into/out of her life? Very good job getting people hooked :)

Overall your spelling and grammar are good. I didn't find myself getting distracted by little mistakes throughout the story, and that's always nice. You have quite a unique style of writing in this chapter (at least it's different to most of the styles I'm used to on here). It moves very quickly, I think because you're giving an overview of her childhood in such a short space. A lot of information is being imparted without going into each fact in great depth. Normally this would bug me because it would make the writing seem jumpy or underdeveloped, but here it really works.

Because you're giving an overview of what her life has been like, too much description would weigh the chapter down and make it drag. You've given just enough that I can picture what's happening, and I think that's perfect for this situation. It also helps that you've chosen interesting facts from her life to display. When giving an overview like this there's always the risk of it coming out as: "And we lived in a big house, and I was homeschooled, and I didn't have friends, and I had toast for breakfast..." *snore* You avoid this by using interesting snippets of her life to build a picture of what her childhood was like. It also helps that Caprice herself seems like quite an intriguing character, and her family life is a little unusual. Keeps it interesting :)

I think your characterisation is great. Even though it's only the first chapter and Caprice is only eleven, you still get an idea of the kind of person she is. I like her :) Especially the part about living in her fantasy tales (although maybe that's just because I can relate ;) ). Also you've done a good job of writing her as an eleven year old. She's quite mature for her age (perhaps because of the way her life has been), which makes her more interesting and engaging to read about, but at the same time you haven't gone overboard. You haven't made her too mature for her age, and her observations and emotions are well suited.

Lastly I think that the ending to this chapter was perfect. I couldn't guess what 'Life at 11' meant, and it was a good little revelation and twist to the story. I loved it. This is a great story, and I can't wait to read more. Well done :)

Author's Response: Hi Firebird!
I'm incredibly sorry for the long wait for this reply! I have been meaning to write back but I'm such a scatter brain sometimes! :P No hard feelings I hope :/
Anyway...I LOVE your review! Thank you SO SO MUCH! it was honestly lovely and it made me feel great :) thank you endlessly for that and the lovely little compliments :)

I have tried very hard to not give in to the urge I have to go in depth with description and therefore I'm incredibly glad you think I got the perfect balance right! Thank you for describing Caprice as interesting. It's something I've tried very hard to achieve and realised does not come easy.

I will definitely re request on your thread I do hope you will consider reading the rest of Caprice! Thank you SO much again for the beautiful review!

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Review #8, by wolfygirlOleander: cinderella's lament

27th September 2010:
Hi there, it's firebird from the forums with your review :) And just a warning, it's gonna be a long one :P

This is such a clever story! You write brilliantly, and the ending was absolutely marvelous. I cheered a little. I couldn't help it :)

You've captured Pansy's personality perfectly. It's easy to see how vain she is, and how shallow. Yet despite her many flaws, I can't help but feel sorry for her. You've done such a great job of inspiring sympathy. An awful marriage, no hope for the family she wants, next to no friends - you can forgive Pansy for her shallowness and vanity because she's in such a hard situation.

You even manage to offset the fact that her situation is her own fault. She chose this life, and normally that would make me totally unsympathetic towards her. But once again you manage to make me see another side of it.

"He didn't like her to be late for any occasion, and meal times were no different. She used to think it was sweet of him..."

To me this passage hints that Pansy did once love (or at least have feelings for) Draco, and that she thought he felt the same. It makes me think that maybe she wasn't just being shallow when she married him. Maybe she hoped for more. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but it really makes me feel for Pansy.

Things like the shopping trip, and buying gifts for the servants to infuriate Draco. They're childish, spiteful things to do, and yet because of how well you've written this, they're also perfect. It's exactly how Pansy would respond - exactly how she'd exact whatever revenge she could on the man who'd made her so miserable.

And the oleander. Wow. I love how the oleander is woven throughout the entire story. You haven't just hinted at it in there somewhere, or only brought it up in the end (both of which would have seemed disjointed and awkward). You've made it an integral part of the story. At first it struck me as a perfect example of Pansy and Draco's marriage - her getting joy out of something, and forming an attachment to it, and him demanding it be destroyed.

And then I got to the ending, and it was so much more!

"They winked at her, her pretty conspirators, and she smiled."

A beautiful piece of writing and it just ties the entire story together wonderfully.

And have I mentioned how clever the writing is? Well too bad, I'm going to mention it again! The first time I read this the ending was a surprise. But then when I read back over the story, with the ending in mind, I could pick up on the little hints scattered through the story. For example the passage about what she'd been taught to do if she didn't like something she had. Brilliant.

The only thing I picked up that could maybe be tweaked is the structure of a couple of the sentences. For example:

"She counted slowly to ten, in case she threw the boiling liquid across the room at his head..."

It seems to me that this sentence would be more effective if you change 'in case she threw' to something else (like '...trying to resist the urge to throw the...'. Just as an example). Of course this is partly personal preference, and partly me grasping at constructive things to say :)

I'm going to stop now, as this review is reaching epic proportions. Thank you for asking me to read this story. It's a brilliant, intelligent, surprising piece of writing, and I loved it. Keep up the good work :)

P.S. Gah, I know I should shut up, but I had to add this in:

"The lies dripped from him like syrup and she was tired of the mess it made on the carpet."

Absolutely adore this simile. Beautiful writing, and it was almost humerous, but in a dark sort of way that fits the story perfectly.

I'm really done now. Promise :P

Author's Response: O.O

this has got to be the most epic review i have ever received! i did a little happy dance when i saw it!

i adore pansy, good, bad or ridiculously stuck up and spoilt, but i adore her even more like this - remorseful, regretful but so stuck in her situation she is unwilling to walk away and into a better life. she is so hung up on the materialistic aspect of this life she condones her own misery! i am so happy you got that.

yes, she did love him once; i never see pansy as stupid. i believe she is smart, but superficial, and would not have assessed the situation before agreeing to marry him. hey, maybe she even proposed to him, i don't know.

the oleander is so symbolic, and im glad you got that too! i wanted something she could use to get at him, in different ways. poor draco - what a demise. oleander poisoning would not be fun - ive seen what happens to livestock who eat it (i had a few trees in my yard growing up - they are so beautiful, but then, most poisonous things are!)

for some reason, i thought it would be a better plant than belladonna or any of those others - i think the oleander gets forgotten :(

thank you so much for all your wonderful compliments - i worked darn hard on getting this right. it was a mission because i wanted to ending to be a surprise but i wanted the reader to realise that, on closer inspection, the signs were all there.

THANK YOU for noticing!!

im just really pleased you liked this!
thanks so much for reviewing!!

kate xx

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Review #9, by wolfygirlSilk: To Hold You

20th September 2010:
So sad! So incredibly, beautifully sad. But so perfect at the same time. I've been meaning to review this story since the first chapter, but I didn't know what to say. I wanted to be helpful and constructive but all I could think was, wow. It's still all I can think :P

You are an amazing author. I think that the way you portrayed Sirius and Remus - their emotions, their thoughts, their whole personalities - was flawless. Right down to the ending, which I hated and loved equally for being so sad, they were perfectly in character. And the emotions! You can evoke such strong emotions with your writing!

And as if that weren't enough you know how to construct a plot that grabs hold of the reader and stubbornly refuses to let them go. I was hooked from the first chapter. I am currently in a fit of jealousy over your talent.

Thank you for this story. It is going straight to my favourites :) And I hope you don't mind the gushing nature of my review. I tried to be constructive, but I'm too caught up in the story. My mind currently sounds something like this - love love LOVE love LOVE LOVE LOVE story LOVE story want more story so SAD LOVE STORY!!

So you can see how a productive review is impossible at this time :P I just cannot think of anything to say that falls in the critisism category. In fact I'm quite proud I even managed to make any sense at all.

In conclusion, you're amazing, the story is amazing, and thank you :)


Author's Response: Dear wolfygirl, this is one of the kindest, most encouraging reviews I've ever recieved. Thank you! I just basically write what /I/ would like to read, and in my great luck, turns out maybe other people like to read that stuff too! This was a very sad but moving story - I have never written slash before, but it came to me so fluidly...

Don't be jealous. Just get writing! Let me know if you post a story - i'd love to read it. Just put yourself INSIDE the story and write the emotions from there.

Much love to you, LM

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Review #10, by wolfygirlAll Hallow's Eve: All Hallow's Eve

5th September 2010:
Beautifully written. Your imagery is wonderful, and you manage to have a lot happening within a very short story, without it seeming choppy or rushed. This is a great story :)

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Review #11, by wolfygirlLike we have Forever: The Tower

28th August 2010:
Wow. This is the first Lily/Remus story I've ever read, and I LOVE it. Your plot's good, your character work is good, your spelling and grammar are good. *sigh* I just wish it didn't have to be so sad. Poor Remus.

Thanks for an awesome story :)


Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I know that Lily/Remus isn't a very popular pairing, but I received that quote for a challenge and suddenly I was like, "ZOMG I HAVE TO WRITE A REMUS/LILY PIECE!" I too hate that it is sad, but it's really the only way it could end. At least, in my head it is. I'm so thrilled that you like it! It's my favorite piece that i've written to date.

Thank you for making my day and reading it. It has hardly any reads.


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Review #12, by wolfygirlSeeing The Lost: I'm the invisable girl

22nd August 2010:
I liked this first chapter. You have some problems with spelling and, to a lesser extent, grammar. I know they've already been pointed out to you, but if you have access to Word's spelling and grammar check or if there's someone you could ask to proof-read chapters, it would make a big difference.

Aside from that, I thought it was good. I love the plot idea. It's the first story I've come across on here that has this particular plot, so big points for originality :) I also like your style of writing. Spelling and grammar mistakes are a pet hate of mine, so the fact that the story still pulled me in and is leaving me wanting more is a big achievement. I thought some of the little details and descriptions you added (like the breakfast smiley face in the flashback) were great, and I would love to see more of them.

Looking forward to reading more :)

Author's Response: I know my spelling is less then great. Thank you for the great review. I thought this would be a plot that many had used. Don't worry, I will be writing more.

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Review #13, by wolfygirlLove Thy Enemy: When everything's broken

22nd August 2010:
I liked this first chaper, but there are a couple of things that I thought could be improved. Please don't take the critisism badly, as it definately wasn't meant that way. Firstly, I think the chapter needs to be a little longer. Not adding any more ideas, just extending on those you aready have. For example, it seems like you have a good grasp on how Ginny's feeling about the whole situation, but it isn't explained very clearly or in much detail. I think you could go further in to her emotions over being left behind etc.

The other critisism I have is about spelling/grammar. The spelling is ok, but there are mistakes here and there that seem more like typos than anything else. Maybe just run it through Word's spelling and grammar check (or an equivalent)? The grammar is a little more tricky. Towards the end especially, it feels very rushed. There are some sentences in there that are just a long mesh of words, and would really benefit from being broken into smaller sentences, or even just from some commas. I think that adding more description to the section where the sobbing boy enters Ginny's compartment would also help it feel less rushed.

Lastly, the layout of your text is very messy, particularly at the start. You have half a line of text, and then it skips to the next line for no apparent reason. If you just check over the layout before posting the chapter it makes the story a lot easier to read, and helps it feel more fluid.

I'm sorry about the epically long review and I hope it doesn't seem too negative. I only said it because I really like the feel of the story, and I think there's some potentially beautiful writing in there. If you fix up these few small problems they won't detract from your writing, and I think you'll have an awesome story on your hands :)

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