This was intense and beautiful. really good.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it because a scene like this one has so much potential to go wrong. Thanks again :)
cheers, Mel Report Review
Congratulations on the baby, first of all!! That's great news :)
So slowly, but surely Sirius is learning to live, that's pretty much what I got from this chapter. I liked it. The points with Remus' point of view were enlightening. He always is the one marauder that just gets it. Another great chapter.Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!
And thanks for your good wishes; all is going well so far. (Knock on wood.) Anyway. Yes, Sirius is starting to get on with his live, which I thought was important to show. After all, he has to become the person we knew in the canon so this is how he gets on with that.
And yes, Remus does just "get it" sometimes. I think that was why his POV spoke to me for this chapter, because he had some insight where James wouldn't.
Thanks, Mel Report Review
You had big, fat, thick tears rolling down my face while I was reading... be proud! (That rarely happens.) It is a true ode to the character (and for that matter author) that their death really makes you feel.
It was a surprising turn to do the funeral in James' perspective, but I think it was perfect in the end. It gave an almost objective look at Sirius' pain. His eulogy was moving and yet calculated, so pretty much perfect. It was a grieving Sirius through and through. This was definitely a chapter everyone had been waiting for from this story and I think you did it fair justice. It was a bit too jumpy at parts, but all in all it was great!Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!
And, horrible as it potentially sounds, I AM proud that you cried in this chapter. It was a pretty emotional one dealing with my MC's death so, if I didn't touch any emotional notes, then I would have been doing something wrong. So thank you for telling me you reacted like that, because it means I didn't do as much of a hatchet job on this scene as I had feared. :)
As for the James POV, well to be honest it wasn't planned, but when I started writing it came naturally so I kept it. I do think that Sirius' POV would have been too raw (and very hard to write, hahaha) whereas James, as you said, gave a more objective narrative. Very pleased you appreciated that.
thanks again, Mel Report Review
The fluff and mush was needed :) and I agree it is great placement. They are in that stage of the story that this can be the way they have to interact. I enjoyed it very much! Awesome job!Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!
Yes, I thought it was time for a bit of fluff, especially since I've cut some out of this collection because I didn't like the chapters they were in. But considering where the story is up to I thought it was needed. Glad you agreed! :)
cheers, Mel Report Review
Welcome back to the world of the living! ;)
On to the review. It was a really long chapter so thank you. It was cute and enjoyable and worrisome. I sense dark waters coming for Aidan and James... well update faster please!! I loved the chapter congrats! Report Review
Wow, a completely different point of view, unexpected but still quite enjoyable. I loved it. It's a very appropriate view of Remus and Charlotte's reactions. Great Job!Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!
Yes, I suppose it probably was a bit unexpected but I've had this scene in my mind for ages so it made sense to show it. And it was a pretty big moment for those two characters so it felt worthwhile posting it. :) I'm very pleased that you thought it felt realistic because it's a bit of a hard moment to show accurately so thank you!
cheers, Mel Report Review
where oh where have you gone?? Report Review
I genuinely love the fact that this has me laughing out loud at all times! Honestly, this is a great portrayal of the Weasley/ Potter family.
I do enjoy a good cliff-hanger! well done once again. I loved it.Author's Response: I love writing bits where the family is around :D It really makes me happy to hear that other people enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it :D Thank you so much!
And thank you! I like cliffies too! Try and explain that to the rest of this lot! :D
Thanks so much for your review! Made my day :) Report Review
That was cute! The part with Hugo and Ron quite literally had me laughing out loud :) it was hilariousand to be frank extremely realistic. Thank you for finally letting us see those moments at Aidan's birthday party, I have been quite curious. James' POV is definitely a change but for the better. I think you handled it very nicely and it was quite good.
PLEASE PLEASE update as soon as possible! thank u :)Author's Response: Awww, thanks!
I loved writing the part with Hugo and Ron! It was, I think, one of the clearest images in my mind when I was writing :D I had a feeling people really wanted to see what happened at the birthday party at this seemed like the perfect time to include it in the story so I did. I'm glad you liked it! And James' POV, I must say, was quite fun to write and I'm glad you feel that I was equal to the challenge! You're too kind :)
I'll update by the end of this week, I think, so you can mark that on your calendar and whatnot :D I rarely promise chapter updates but I'm pretty confident I'll get it done :D
Thanks so much for your review! :D Report Review
Very nice. I like how you threw in all that wonderful mushy crap about love :) A writer?? Really?? i did not see that one coming at all. To be honest I was hoping she went the quidditch route. I honestly did nt see her being a writer, but she is your character so go with it! Next time dnt take so long! PLEASE! great chapter! cnt wait for what u have next! Report Review
Well, sweet holy Jesus... FINALLY! I'm exceptionally glad you kept them together, I would've been thoroughly irritated if they had broken up :) I loved it, as in LOVED it! I like all the jobs you gave them... it siuts them well, though you never said what Aidan does for a living... mystery until next time?? great first chapter!! amazing really!!Author's Response: Did everyone really think I'd break them up in the gap? :D Wow, no one has a particularly high opinion of me, do they?
I'm so glad you liked it. I loved giving them all their professions and yes, Aidan's job is a mystery for the time being :D It's nothing major though so don't worry about that.
I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks so much for the review!! :D Report Review
Definitely interesting to say the least. I like it. The direction you are taking it will be amazing if you keep this up... good luck.Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I was afraid that there wasn't enough background information about the character but at the same time I'm not inspired to write her story with sirius even though i have it all thought out.
I'll try to get the second chapter up as soon as I can, which might be this weekend. Report Review
I really like the story. The thing is why doesn't laney know anything about the wizarding world. Quidditch is a world wide sport, even if she went to Beauxbatons she should at least know about it, shouldn't she?? And she should know about house elves too. Also in fifth year Hermione started S.P.E.W. not W.O.M.B.A.T. sorry, but I've always been a bit of a stickler for things like that. One more thing work on bits of your grammar.
It's a good story and I like it, overall.Author's Response: Thanks a lot for everything! I'll be sure to fix that as soon as possible! And as for Laney, she's not very good at taking note of somethings (unless its about a certain boy). Of course she's heard of them (house elves) but she's never actually seen one. :)
And now I'm so very curious to know what WOMBAT is...I'll look it up later. xD
Grammar was never on of my strong points in middle school, and they still aren't in high school. And well, I'm not exactly experienced as to writing stories. This is only my second and its only my frist year of high school. Writing this is helping me gain confidence and develop in writing. Anyway, thanks for the helpful review and thanks for reading! Report Review
I liked it and you're right it was probably needed. It wasn't too boring because of all the questions it brought up. Make your next review a fast one please n thnx :) its a good story.Author's Response: thanks! And I'll try. Report Review
It's a good beginning. The only thing you may want to invest in is a beta; there are alot of mistakes. Other than that I want to see where this is going...Author's Response: thank you for reviewing! i know there is alot of mistakes. i think it comes from me accidentally putting the way i talk into it. i would love a beta but have no idea how to go about getting one..:S Chapter 2 is in the queue :) Report Review
I LOVED IT!! It was just the kind of ending the story needed. It left you wanting more and kept you interested for the sequel. It was a great story overall and there weren't that many mistakes at all. Congrats on a great first story!!Author's Response: Yay! :D
I'm glad you liked the ending! Thank you so much for reading all of it and reviewing. And thank god there weren't too many mistakes. My poor beta would be so ashamed if I hadn't learned anything over the past few months :D
Thank you so much for everything! Report Review
Nicely done on the cliffhanger!! If I didn't love it so much, I'd be upset :) Love the exceptionally long chapter and cannot wait for the next. I'm really glad to hear you will be doing a sequel for this story, I honestly think it's amazing. Just so you know I love Harry's character in this story, it's a good side of him. Hat's off to another job well done!!Author's Response: Hey, sweetheart!
The cliffhanger was just written that way, actually. If the whole chapter was put up then it would simply lead into the next event like nothing happened. Too bad I had to split it but I'm glad that you don't mind! The next one should be up either today or tomorrow, I think! And I'm glad I'm doing a sequel as well :D
I love Henry as well. Ah, a few good men and how I love them!
Thanks so much for the compliments and the review!
Cheers! Report Review
It's a really good story line. The one thing I have to be honest about are all the grammatical and spelling mistakes. I'm sort of a stickler for them. They get annoying after a while. I suggest you get a beta if you don't have one. I'm getting out of school so I have free time, so I'll throw my hat in the ring for it.
Good luck!! and let me know if you need meAuthor's Response: Thanks for the feedback. My friend will be editing my chapters from now on but thanks for the offer. Please let me know what you think of the next chapter.
HPSwimmer Report Review
I did enjoy it. I really like your story, it's good. You've been able to make this plot original and yours even if it has been used alot.
Can you do me a favor though?? Work on thte grammar and spelling and over all little mistakes for example:
"Listen, James, if you don’t want to talk about it…” James started"
I'm assuming you James here was referring to Sirius and not himself. There's other small mistakes around. I'm sorry if I'm being a bit of a stickler, but I'm wierd.
It's still a great storyAuthor's Response: Thanks for the advice! I'm sorry if I make spelling and grammer mistakes, I'll try my best to catch them before I post. Thanks for the compliment too! Report Review
I'm really glad there's a sequel because it was abrupt to say the least. It was a bit obvious, but that's not bad and whoever said simplicity was a bad thing?? I liked it for all it's simple obvious glory. Work on spelling and grammar though (just an FYI the word excerpt has an R in it) it was good though I applaud you.Author's Response: Hi,
Thanks for R&R! Glad you liked it, but I've done a bit of a re-write anyway, as it felt too abrupt. Hopefully with the new alterations it will seem a bit smoother. Oh, and thanks for the spelling shout out (I must have been typing too quickly!) Report Review
It was pretty good. It didn't make me a sobbing wreck, though. To be honest it seems like you could've put more emotion into it, you know?? I liked it, don't doubt yourself, you're a good writer. Also, generally people kill Ginny first, so how about an A for originality.Author's Response: Thank you, but I didn't want it to be overly emotional in that sense, I didn't want sobbing as a reaction.I was sort of going for clinical I was trying to get across that in a way the idea of eventual death is comforting, because it's something we can predict. It's hard to explain. I do take your point though, certainly. :D Report Review
Don't doubt yourself everyone needs a good intro. It was good, Harry's a bit wierd though huh??Author's Response: Thanks for your support, this is my first next generation fanfic and I'm wondering if I've got it right. And yes, I did make Harry weird because I gave him a big ego in this story! Report Review
ok so i just started reading this really recently and I just caught up. I didnt want to review on th past chapters, i just waited til i got caught up. I really love this story its creatice and funny. i admit i kind of hate u for this chapter, ive been waiting forever for thoses two to get over themselves and just go for it. ur an evil person u kno?? its a good story and im sad it will end soon, great job through and through.Author's Response: Welcome to DV! It's great to have new readers and I'm so glad that you took the time out to read and to leave a review. It really means a lot to me. :D
I'm glad you like the story! It's always great for an author to hear that so you can imagine that I'm quite chuffed :D
I totally understand that you hate me for this chapter. I kind of expected that when I wrote it to be honest :D But I promise that it's all going somewhere! It has a point! :D
Thank you so much for the compliments! I'll update as soon as I can so do let me know what you think of the next chapter! :D
Thanks for the review! Report Review
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