Reading Reviews From Member: MidnightBlue_x
234 Reviews Found

Review #26, by MidnightBlue_xBurning Flames: Burning Flames

18th March 2014:

Sorry it took me so long to get to this. I had read this back when you first posted it but I didn't get the chance to review until now. Secondly, I'd like to thank you for entry my challenge (and for getting the piece done so quickly!)

I think you did really well writing this, especially since so little is known of Callidora. I would have liked to have seen a little more though, I really liked where you were going with the story!

Again, thank you so much for entering my challenge and sorry for the late review!

x Ely

Author's Response: No problem! I am glad that you liked it and maybe I will write a longer story sometime soon.

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Review #27, by MidnightBlue_xRed Silk: A Failed Chai Exchange

8th March 2014:
I wasn't sure whether we were allowed to review our own entries so I never did, but I figured since you reviewed my chapter now that I'd go ahead and do it anyway.


You've been so nice to me, telling everyone that I did all this work and whatnot but you're lying. There is no possible way that I could have ever done this without you, there's no possible way that Gautam would be himself without you.

You are honestly the world's best partner. I couldn't have written something like this without you and so I'm incredibly thankful that I got to work with you. You definitely made this competition much more enjoyable for me than I ever could have expected.

I don't think I could ever say this enough but your chapter is wonderful. I know you said in your note that I bought Gautam to life and I have to disagree with you. It was you. You wrote him as this beautiful charming guy whom everyone just fell in love with, especially me. I just continued on with what you gave me. I did this with every part of my chapter, so technically it's half you.

Anyway, I'm so so glad that we got to work together for this. You're an amazing writer and a lovely person and I can't wait to work with you on some future projects ;)

I love you, my wonderful partner!!

x Ely

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Review #28, by MidnightBlue_xHouse of Cards: Five of Spades

21st February 2014:
Sorry that this took a little bit longer than expected. With speed dating and real life, it all got a little crazy there. Anyway, I'm here to review these chapters for you today.

Usually, I sort of take notes for each review while I read, but I was so engrossed in the story that I didn't notice I hadn't written anything down until I'd finished the chapter. And this is probably my third or so reading of this chapter alone. I think that's evidence enough that your mystery is working. I don't really like trying to work out who the murderer is in stories because I think sometimes you can ruin it for yourself, but I don't even know who is innocent in this situation. Okay, so I can't imagine it being Narcissa, but who knows?

I love how you write Regulus. I think the fact that he is so disturbed by his aunt's body really suits him. I know he's close to the age of becoming a Death Eater here but I can't imagine him ever really being 'fine' with death. I think what you've written here supports that, and while others may think differently, I think that he's perfect here- after all, he is only a child. I still love the presence of Walburga and Orion, I especially like how they do care about Regulus in their own way. People often write them as being completely cold to everything, so it's nice to see them like this.

As for the pacing, I think this chapter and the story up to this point is fine. The story is only really starting at this point and going to quick would destroy the mystery of it all as would going to slow. I think at this point, the story still has a unsure tone to it- none of the characters really know what's going on, so the pace suits it perfectly.

I'll see you in the next review!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hey - and no worries! I totally understand - speed dating was amazing! So many brilliant entries! :)

Ooh, cool - that's a good thing, right? :P Thank you so so much! I'm so glad you're confused (if that's not mean to say, haha) since it really helps. I'm honestly so terrible at knowing what people will get and what they won't put together, you know, so it really helps for you to say something like that!

Regulus is a child - I think that's a pretty significant thing when I write him here. He's fourteen/fifteen here, so he's close but he's still so young and naive and yeah, I can't imagine him ever just being fine with death either. Gah, yeah, I remember Sirius said in the books, or implied at least, that Regulus was Walburga's favourite, so I kinda played off of that in their relationship, and Orion does care, really, about both of his sons, he just really has no idea how to show emotion at all :P I'm glad you like them, though - they're strange but fascinating characters to write! :)

Thank you so much! I'm always so nervous about pacing because I know I'm just really slow, haha, and it's something I'm trying to improve on so it's so great to hear that I might be starting to succeed with that! :)

Thank you so so much for this! I always love receiving your reviews - they're such gems each time! Thank you! :)

Aph xx

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Review #29, by MidnightBlue_xmaybe, once.: maybe, once.

17th February 2014:
When I saw you were doing the speed dating as well, I was so excited because it meant I could read more of your stuff. I totally did not expect Barty/Reg, but I love this so much! This is like my head canon for House of Cards, at least where Barty and Reg are concerned.

But yes, I love this piece so so much. And I'm incredibly jealous of your ability to write Barty and Reg so well. Good luck with your entry!!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thanks so much! I was so excited to do it, too - particularly since so many good writers signed up for it!

Haha, ah, I love Barty/Reg as well - they're not necessarily a mainstream couple, as such, but they're so sweet and I really do ship them ;) As for House of Cards, ah, well, I do ship them, though that's all I can say! :) (But, theoretically, if this were to be linked to HoC, this would be afterwards, timeline-wise. Just sayin'!)

I'm so glad you liked it - I know it's a bit of a weird pairing and perhaps not the most usual idea for a Valentine's one-shot, haha, so it's so lovely to hear!

And it was doubly great that this was so unexpected - thank you so so much for this! :D

Aph xx

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Review #30, by MidnightBlue_xDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: The Informant

5th February 2014:
Hi there!

I saw your status about a review swap on the forums and I thought I'd give it a go. I've never actually done a review swap before, so we'll see how this goes!

Usually, I would never even consider reading something like this not necessarily because I don't think it but because I'm more of a Marauder era sort of girl. That being said, I did actually really enjoy reading this. It was interesting to see a son of Harry's and Voldemort interacting. I think in those particular scenes you could definitely see Harry's personality in Devlin.

It was different seeing Harry face off against the Death Eaters as an older man. I was so used to him being the reckless teenager that it was nice to read something a little bit different, but I liked how you could still see a bit of that recklessness in him especially when it comes to protecting his family. And Sirius- I could never not adore him so I was very, very happy to see him here.

It'll be interesting to see where the story goes from here and I'm definitely going to continue reading!

x Ely

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Review #31, by MidnightBlue_xIn Sickness And In Health: Perseverance

5th February 2014:
So let's get started straight away.

I liked how this chapter carried on from the last- sure it's not the same day, but it was nice to see the mention of the letter from the last chapter. The fact that Hermione is struggling with writing a letter to Harry and Ron was very nice to read. Even though it is definitely not her fault, it's never easy getting back in contact with someone after a decent amount of time has passed. I think the fact you even included that is wonderful.

I'm already loving the development between Hermione and Draco. I especially loved the scene with the television- it definitely made me laugh. I think the fact that Ron is angry about Hermione's situation immediately without even bothering to get the full story is so very him. Especially as Harry is a bit more willing to accept what's happening. I personally don't think you have to worry about them being in character, I think you've written them very well.

As for the flow, I don't think there is anything majorly wrong. I'd suggest maybe stretching out the scene with Harry and Ron a bit more- like I said in my last review, maybe a little bit more description. Perhaps you could have Hermione brew some tea while she talks to them or something. That's just my personal opinion though!

I can't wait to see Pansy and Blaise (in the next chapter, I assume) especially how they are going to interact with Hermione. I hope I haven't scared you away with my slowness, and I hope you can re-request sometime in the future.

x Ely

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Review #32, by MidnightBlue_xIn Sickness And In Health: Healing in Hell?

5th February 2014:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne here to finish your review request.

Firstly, I want to apologise for how long it took me to get to this review. I feel so terrible for making you wait over a month for these reviews. So without further ado, I'll start on the actual reviews now.

I know that you asked about the dialogue- I think that it's quite well done, the only thing I'd suggest would be to maybe add some descriptions in between some of the lines. Maybe Hermione taking note of some of her surroundings? Or a sudden sharp pain in her leg? I don't know, but something to just break it up a little. I don't think there is too much dialogue, but adding even just a few lines of description here and there would make it flow a little better, I think.

You also asked about the characterisation and reactions of Hermione and Draco. I think they were done very well. I especially liked how their reactions differed- Draco was sort of in a state where he refused to believe it while Hermione was clearly upset. I think it's very realistic that they would have these different reactions and the ones you chose seem very in-character to me. I'm excited to see how Harry and Ron respond to this.

Anyway, loved the chapter and I once again want to say sorry for taking such a long time to get this done. I'll see you in the next chapter.

x Ely

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Review #33, by MidnightBlue_xEscaping the Acheron: The Chaser

5th February 2014:
Back again! I'm going to get started right away on the review.

I absolutely loved reading about the younger Weasleys. I couldn't even tell you who I liked the most in the scene- all of them were just brilliant and cute and I just can't pick. I admit, I totally wasn't expecting a scene like this but I love it so much. I think it's one of my favourites so far in the story. That being said, I loved the Quidditch game as well. Usually, I'm not the biggest fan of Quidditch matches in fics but I think you did really well with yours. It was short and sweet and I actually enjoyed reading it. I have to say, I loved Arthur in those bits- he's just brilliant.

I like how you switched back to 'present day', though I would suggest maybe putting a line break between the two times because for the first line or so it's a little bit confusing. Of course, it's up to you though. I liked seeing Angelina- I feel like she's a character that never really gets mentioned, so I really liked getting to know a little bit more about her. I really hope we get to see a bit more of her in future chapters (and that she gets better!)

Again, wonderful chapter and I apologise for taking so long to get to this. If I haven't scared you away with my slowness, then feel free to re-request!

x Ely

Author's Response: Thanks for the reviews!

I'm glad that you liked the bit with the young Weasleys. I loved writing it, they're so much fun.

That's a really good suggestion. I'm currently going through edits, and I'll make that change when I get to this chapter (ugh, editing is so difficult!)

I love Angelina!! She probably won't show up too too much in this one, but enough for me to not feel guilty.

Yay! I'm probably going to go re-request right now:D

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Review #34, by MidnightBlue_xEscaping the Acheron: Birthday Surprises

5th February 2014:
Hi! This is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to do your reviews.

First of all, I want to sincerely apologise for the fact that it's taken me over a month to get to these reviews. To be quite honest with you, I've just been incredibly lazy lately, especially where HPFF is concerned. I'm so sorry that I haven't gotten to these before now, but let's get started on those reviews anyway.

I have to say, I've actually really missed reading your story and I didn't even notice how much until I started reading again. I think the story and your writing style is very easy to slip into and it's very enjoyable to read. I absolutely adore how you write Hermione and Neville and all the others. I'm really interested to see how things are going to progress for each of them from here. I'm especially interested to see where you take things with Jeremy, I sense that he might become more important alter on? I might be wrong, though.

Anyway, this was a really nice and simple chapter- I liked it. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next! Sorry again for taking such a ridiculously long time to get to this!

x Ely

Author's Response: Don't worry about the delay! I'd honestly forgotten about them, so this was a nice surprise:) And I'm also incredibly lazy. Almost all my requested reviews start with some form of "sorry I took so long".

Things... well things will progress:). I'm glad you like Neville!

Jeremy is important:) I wouldn't've introduced him if he wasn't ;)

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Review #35, by MidnightBlue_xThe Girl from Slytherin : The Future

12th January 2014:
I just love Tor and Terry so much. I can't wait to see how things progress for them. I loved seeing Michael and Anthony too- I really liked seeing how they interacted with Tor. I'm so excited to read on!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi! :)

Aw, I'm so glad you like them! :D I'm very happy they're back together. It's also great to know that you liked the Ravenclaw boys as well: they're a riot to write and imagine and get along quite well with Tor. :)

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D I'm so happy you enjoyed the chapter!

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Review #36, by MidnightBlue_xA Melancholy Melody: Cold Shoulder

22nd December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to fulfill your request for you. I'm not usually a big Next Gen fan either and I'm also writing one currently, so I understand the difficulties you might be facing.

I already like Allie as a character- she was not at all what I was expecting. I think I've sort of come to expect crazy OC's when it comes to Next Gen in particular, so Allie really was a breath of fresh air for me. I liked hearing about her backstory- even though there was obviously the whole thing with Ethan, I feel like there's more to why Allie is so against love. Maybe, there isn't but either way, I'm excited to read more about it.

I loved your characterisation of Albus- he sort of reminds me of like a cute little brother (if brothers can be cute). I'm really excited to see more of James. It seems like you've written him more of a sweet sort of guy rather than the cocky attitude that people usually give him. I think it'll be interesting to see some real interaction between James and Allie.

I really like your writing style- I think that you aren't trying too hard, and it makes the whole chapter flow really nicely. I can't wait to see where you're going with the story!

I hope this review helped in some way and please feel free to re-request.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi! Glad to know you found Allie likeable :) Actually, there's more, but that will be revealed on later chapters. And don't you worry, they'll interact in the next chapter, yay! :)

Thank you so much for your nice review! It really motivates me to keep writing! I'll be sure to re-request when the next chapter is posted! :D

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Review #37, by MidnightBlue_xSticks and Stones: This Means War...or Friendship

22nd December 2013:
Hi! Thank you so much for re-requesting a review from me. I'm excited to see where this chapter goes.

I instantly liked the interaction between Mason and James. I wasn't so sure of them in the first chapter/prologue, but now I've grown to like them as characters. Their friendship sort of reminds me of James and Sirius a little, but I think they've got their own personality and whatnot as well, which I think is very important. I loved seeing the interactions between the Potter family, especially the sort of brotherly interaction between James and Al.

I don't usually correct spelling, but I did notice that you wrote 'Countess times' instead of 'Countless'. Other than that, I didn't really pick anything up.

All in all, I loved this chapter. Honestly, I think you definitely approved on the first one. I loved Pippa even more in this chapter- I think she's definitely a character that you can go places with. She's got more than one side to her which is always very good. I'm interested to see how the friendship between James and her will develop over the story, and I can't wait to see where the plot is going to go from here.

I hope this review helped you in some way. Thank you for re-requesting, and feel free to do so again in the future.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank u for the sweet review! I do love your reviews!

Thanks so much!! I love James and Mason! They sort of are based off James and Sirius! Except, you know, next gen :)thanks so much! Don't you lie bromance?

Ah, grammar and syntax, I totally need to work on that!

Thanks so muh! Pippa is definitely one of my favourite characters to write! Yeah, James and her relationship is definitely like a roller coaster! :)

Thanks so much! Total confidence booster with this story! :) thanks I will! :D

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Review #38, by MidnightBlue_xEscaping the Acheron: Finding a Place to Sleep

22nd December 2013:
Okay, third and final review time. Of course, feel free to re-request more reviews, if you would like to.

I had a feeling that this chapter would revolve around Harry, or at least I was hoping it would. After the mentions he got in the last few chapters, I was really interested to see what he'd been up to. I like how Harry wasn't just throwing his life away because of the battle, but because he was scared. The fact that he still sees and feels Voldemort would have been terrifying to him, especially after everyone he lost. As much as I disliked it, I could see why he was acting the way he was. I think the fact that he's still tortured by all of it is incredibly realistic- sometimes I feel like people don't express the pain he would have felt, so I'm very glad that you did.

It was really interesting to see this side of Harry. I think he's darker here that almost any other time we saw him in the books. I think you handled it very well. Again, I still think there are maybe parts you could any more description too. Especially the part where he thought he saw Ginny- with a bit more description you could really show the panic that Harry would be feeling. I think that would make this chapter better and would help the reader understand a bit more. Of course, that's just my opinion.

I hope these reviews helped you in some way and please feel free to re-request!

x Ely

Author's Response: I've said it before, but thank you for the reviews! Feedback is so nice to get! Harry is difficult for me... It took me a long time to write this chapter, but it could definitely use an over-haul. I've always been surprised that Harry never really hit a breaking point after all he's been through... I guess this is his breaking point.

Thanks for the suggestion about the dream/hallucination thing. I'll take that into consideration when I eventually get around to going through an editing process.

I'll be bugging you for more reviews soon:)
Thank you, once again!

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Review #39, by MidnightBlue_xEscaping the Acheron: Unexpected

22nd December 2013:
And here I am! Back with your second review. Let's get to it straight away.

The moment I read the first line of this chapter, I was very happy. I was really hoping we'd get to see some Hermione as well as Ron. I really like reading about the different lives that the Golden Trio are living after the War- I love seeing how they all cope with it differently. I feel so sorry for Ginny. I understand that Harry would want time to recover, but I really hope he sucks it up soon. I like how Hermione is still upset by all the deaths she saw. I think it's especially important that she feels sorry for Lavender, even after the whole thing with Ron. That definitely struck me as being very Hermione-like.

Like in the previous chapter, I'd like seeing some of the more minor characters too. I'm hoping that we do get to see a lot more of them in future chapters. I'm still really enjoying the story- I absolutely loved hearing from Hermione's point of view. I'm especially interested about the rebuilding of the castle, I like how the students are getting the chance to participate. That seems like a very Hogwarts thing to me.

I'm sorry this one is a little bit shorter than the last one- I didn't want to repeat myself too much. Now, onto my final review.

x Ely

Author's Response: Thank you for coping with my triple-request! I don't mind that it's short, I'd rather that than just rambling. I'm trying to fit in minor characters (they're some of my favorites!), but I always have trouble writing them. Like Luna - I struggle writing her even though I adore her! That's absolutely something that I need to work on. The rebuilding of the castle is sort of pushed aside for a bit, but it comes back into play in a major way later in the novel :). Thanks again for the reviews.

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Review #40, by MidnightBlue_xEscaping the Acheron: The Shopkeeper

22nd December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here with the reviews you requested! Sorry that this took me a little bit longer to get to than I thought it would. Anyway, on with the reviews!

I don't usually read in this era, thought it is something I enjoy. In most of the ones I've read, they usually focus entirely on Hermione or Harry, and while I'm not the biggest fan of Ron- I actually enjoyed reading about him here. I love how he doesn't advertise who he is/what he's done etc. I think that's much more in character for Ron than the alternative. I love how you've written George, he's got his usual cheekiness but it was nice to see how the loss of Fred was affecting him. The fact that he was so worried about losing his business was very realistic in my mind- it was nice to see him in a different light. I think the part of the mirror was particularly powerful.

I think you wrote all the other characters brilliantly. I particularly loved Molly and Fleur who I love the little sort of tension between. I was especially happy to see Andromeda and little Teddy- they are two of my favourite characters and I loved seeing them included.

Moving on from the characters now- you asked about the plot. I think that it was very enjoyable to read. I actually enjoyed reading about Ron which isn't usually something I can say. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters. My only real suggestion is that there are a few parts that could do with a little bit more description added to- there were parts that seemed to go very quickly that maybe needed a bit more attention.

I'll start on your next review now, see you then!

x Ely

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! You took a fine amount of time, don't worry (I have a review thread, I know). I love Ron. I don't know why, but I really love him, and who I think he'd grow up to be. I'm glad that you think the characters are written believably, I find it hard to find a balance. Obviously, they'd change. Not only from age, but because of what they all went through, but they wouldn't be completely different people. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. I agree that I could use some more description (I'm such a hypocrite, I almost always say that when I review people). Thanks again, I look forward to reading the other reviews!

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Review #41, by MidnightBlue_xIn Sickness And In Health: The Battle

22nd December 2013:
Hi there! This is ElysiumJayne from over at the forums and I'm here to fulfil your request. Before I get started with the actual review there are a few things I'd like to say. Firstly, I'm sorry this review took a little longer than I expected to get to, usually I do them almost straight away but with Christmas upon us I've been busy than I thought. Secondly, this isn't mention on my original post, but I review three chapters for each request. So I'm going to review the first three with this request and then you can re-request for any more, if you wish to do so. Anyway, let's get started.

You said you were worried as to whether the story seemed rushed with the battle happening straight away. Personally, I think this makes the story much more enjoyable. Draco and Hermione are canon characters and despite this being a bit AU, we know the basics of what they think about the war and what they're doing etc. Because of this, I think going straight into the battle is the best thing you could have done. Otherwise, I feel like the story might have dragged too much and that your readers would lose interest. The battle makes it exciting, fast-paced, interesting etc.

Another thing you mentioned was characterisation- I don't really read much about these two, but I think the fact that Hermione sort of agreed to Draco being there but was also a bit hesitant was perfect. I can't imagine her being 100% supportive of either decision, but her being sort of 50/50 is more like her in my opinion. Obviously, there isn't much Draco in this chapter but what we did see of him was pretty believable.

Finally, description wise- it's pretty good. I know how difficult it can be to write battle scenes, especially the final battle but I think you did a good job. The only thing I'd suggest is to maybe extend that last passage a little, I think you could add a little bit more onto that which would really benefit the story- you know, add a little bit more drama and whatnot. I'll leave this review at that so I can start on the next one!

x Ely

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Review #42, by MidnightBlue_xThe Fall of the Town : Exodus

22nd December 2013:
Okay, final review for this request. If you'd like to review for the next chapter then please feel free, of course you can wait until you have more chapters or you can request for just the one.

I feel like I sort of got carried away with my last review and that I didn't really address your concerns, so I'm going to try and focus on those in this review.

Firstly, the characters. I think it's safe to assume that you realise how much I really do like your characters. Stephane and Marigold in particular, but I also really like the more minor characters. I like how even the smallest of characters get named- I think that really gives it this genuine medieval sort of feel in which everyone in the small town would know everyone else.

Secondly, the plot and the ideas. I like the plot. I like how you've based it off an old tale but you've given it your own little twist to it. This way the readers sort of know what to expect but you're still able to surprise them with how you describe the events and whatnot. I think each section of the chapter flows really nicely into each other- one section can be talking about something and the next about something completely different but they don't seem forced or awkward, they just mould into one another. I still love the story of the Muggles attempting to go against the wizards. I know the ideas are the same as the witch trials, but I still like how you've managed to write it.

Finally, I don't think that it is possible to tell that the chapters have been written with a lot of time in between. I really think, like the subject of each of the chapters alone, that they really flow into one another nicely. All in all, I still think you've got a wonderfully written story here that you should be incredibly proud of.

I hope these reviews helped in some way and wish you all the best luck with the future. Merry Christmas!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

I don't think you got carried away- I loved your last review and this one as well! :D

It's so wonderful to hear you like my characters, really it's such high praise to get. It's really nice to know that you thought it emulated that small town feel. I wanted to include all these minor characters as it's not just the story of Stephane and Marigold, but also of the fate of the other townspeople as well.

Good, it's really helpful to know you liked the plot as well. Working it around the story of the Pied Piper was both challenging but simple in a way since the basic outline is already there. I'm glad to hear that the flow was alright, and that even though they jump around a little it isn't too confusing, as I was quite worried about that. I'm glad you liked the idea of the muggles rising, it was definitely based on the witch trials and quite fun, though also sad, to kill so many characters in these horrid and sad ways.

Ah I'm so glad to hear that they don't sound too dis-connected! I really appreciate you reading the chapters in such close proximity and being able to give me that perspective, it's very helpful. Thank you- I am very proud of it! :D

Thank you for these lovely reviews, Ely! :) I really appreciate your thoughts and all the praise really means the world to me! Merry Christmas to you too! :D

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Review #43, by MidnightBlue_xThe Fall of the Town : A Stranger In the Dawn

22nd December 2013:
Back again with your reviews for this chapter and the next one. I just want to say that even if you hadn't re-requested, I was planning on continuing to read the story, so I'm glad that you did.

I love the little songs you include, especially because you wrote them yourself. They really add to the story and give it that real genuine feel to it. I know I said the same thing in my last review, but I really feel like it's a brilliant thing to add to the story.

I love the description about Death, especially how Marigold can still feel him lurking around. I liked how you added in how Death saw himself as the master of the Peverells- it gives off that really creepy vibe, but it's also written so beautifully.

I still love Marigold as a character. I think you've written her wonderfully- I like how she understands the world around her even though she's quite young. I like how she's selfless too- she's worried about Trip and his magic, rather than herself. For me, that makes her an incredibly likeable character. I liked Mayor Radley as well- I think the fact that you mentioned his son with the twisted leg, it's not usually a thing that gets written about, but it is something close to my heart. Especially the fact that he is more worried for the boy than ashamed- that was really nice to read.

The fact that Stephane seems so shocked about a muggle being able to do magic was really well done. I liked seeing what he thought before the prejudice about muggle-borns really became a thing. I think the fact that Stephane actually wants to stop the plague is a very powerful thing-it's not necessarily something you'd hear from a wizard, I think. The fact that he actually manages to do it, was amazing. I'm definitely growing to love Stephane as a character.

I love how you build the detail in the story. Now, especially, since I realise I've read other pieces of yours, I can see the real variance in your style. I think it's wonderful that you can write a story like this with so much detail and story, and also write a story like GfS which is more character based. For me, this just highlights how much you've put into this story.

I'll be reviewing the next chapter now!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi Ely! :) First of all thanks so much for giving me all these wonderful reviews, and hearing that you wanted to keep reading anyway really made my day. ♥

Ah, I loved writing the songs! For each chapter they were the first thing I wrote to get a good feel for what might happen. I'm glad you felt it added to the story.

As soon as I knew the Peverells would be my main focus I knew there had to be a mention of Death- I felt that he would continue to haunt the descendants of Ignotus especially. I'm glad you found him creepy, but also an interesting addition. :)

It's wonderful to hear how you like Marigold! She is very kind and helpful to others, and cares about her family and friends. Mayor Radley was a really unique character for me to write as well - I'm glad you found his love for his son touching as I think it gave an interesting spin to his character.

I'm glad you liked the interpretations of muggleborns as well! I sort of imagined muggleborn wizards mostly being frightened and staying secret, so a muggleborn talking about his abilities would be quite confusing. I'm glad you like Stephane, as I really love him too- he has heroic and great magical qualities, but also a lot of flaws and selfish inclinations, so he's a real joy to write.

I'm really honoured you enjoyed the detail, and can tell how hard I worked on making this detailed and unique! :) I really love playing with different styles of stories and narrative.

Thank you so much for this beautiful review! :)

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Review #44, by MidnightBlue_xOperation Mistletoe: Operation Mistletoe

21st December 2013:

It's so beautiful. I love it so much! And you were worried about it :P But honestly, I think it's very lovely. I really like how you've written James and Lily, especially James. He's much sweeter than people usually write- I like that.

I really hope you go well in the Duel. Merry Christmas Cal!!

x Ely

Author's Response: Thanks so much Ely, really glad you enjoyed it! Yay for sweet James! Thanks again for your Christmas present :)

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Review #45, by MidnightBlue_xTainted Tinsel: Christmas Eve

18th December 2013:
Hi, I'm ElysiumJayne from the forums and I'm here for some review tagging fun!

I don't think I've actually ever read anything from Greyback's point of view, but I have to say I did really enjoy reading this. I like how you made him so intelligent rather than being some mindless supporter of Voldemort. The descriptions you used are amazing- incredibly creepy and evil, but brilliant nonetheless and incredibly powerful. Reading about how he picks his victims and plans his attack was so freaky, I can't even put it into words.

The attack itself was so well written. I don't know whether to be impressed or worried that you could write something like that! Poor Eilidh- My heart absolutely breaks for her! It was very interesting to see that sort of possessive/protective side of Greyback, even if it was creepy.

I don't know what else to say, but well done. I hope you have a lovely Christmas (and that you aren't bitten by any werewolves) and a wonderful New Year.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hello!

I had been wanting to experiment with Fenrir, so this was particularly fun. Since Voldemort used werewolves as pawns in his war, I only assumed that they (the werewolves) would be assisting for some of their own gain. Fenrir had a cause of his own, so I (again) assumed that he would have powerful leadership qualities.

The attack was fun to write; I really enjoy writing action scenes as it turns out. Because of the perspective I chose to write in, I was able to gain some emotional detachment from the victimized characters. That, of course, made it significantly easier to write something so sensitive. Poor Eilidh, indeed!

Thank you! And the same to you, especially sans the werewolves :)!


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Review #46, by MidnightBlue_xA Chance Encounter: Imperfections Included

18th December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from over at the forums, and I'm here to fulfil your request!

I think one of the best things about Hannah Abbott is that there really isn't much known about her except for her house and that she ends up with Neville. She's basically a blank canvas. Because of that, I don't think you need to worry about her characterisation- you've written her here really well in my opinion. I think the fact that she's sort of scared to get involved after everything she went through is incredibly realistic.

As for Neville, I think you did really well with him as well. I like that you haven't written him as this big war hero but rather as the old Neville, with a little bit more confidence maybe. I like how you mentioned the part of about him not really being Auror material- I thought that admittance was very Neville.

You said you thought you were terrible lovey dovey scences? I'm not sure that I agree with that. I think that you built up the bit of romance/friendship between Hannah and Neville nicely. It didn't feel it was forced, it just flowed really nice and it was realistic! I don't think you're nearly as bad as you seem to think you are!

As for the quote, I know how difficult they can be to fit into stories, but I like how you wrote it in. Having it at the end really highlights the quote. I definitely thought that you fit it in with the themes of the story- again, it didn't seem forced to me.

I hope this review helped you in some way, and I wish you luck with the challenge! I wish you a very merry Christmas and a lovely New Year too!

x Ely

Author's Response: Thank you for responding to my request so quickly! I'm sorry that it's taken a little while for me to respond to your review.

I always get a bit antsy when I get too close to talking about canon characters, so I was really worried about Hannah's characterization, but I see your point! She's mentioned here and there in the books, but she isn't really explored in depth. I'm so glad that you think I've portrayed her realistically!

Yeah, I'm a big fan of old Neville (although Matthew Lewis is absolutely perfect...). He may have destroyed a Horcrux, but at the end of it all, he's still a bit clumsy, a tad clueless, and a truly nice guy. He just isn't the Auror type, and I think that he knows that.

Awww, you're sweet! I always feel like I don't write romance as well as some of the really fabulous authors on HPFF do--when I write it, it seems a bit forced. But I'm glad that you thought it was okay. We are our own worst critics, after all! I guess I'll just have to write more romantic scenes for practice. ;)

Ah, yes. The quote! I had hoped that it didn't seem too much like an afterthought, and I'm glad that to you, it doesn't seem that way.

Your review definitely helped me A LOT. Thank you so much for all of your praise and opinions! Happy New Year!!


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Review #47, by MidnightBlue_xHouse of Cards: Four of Clubs

18th December 2013:
Okay, here with my third review.

I just love how you create this sense of mystery in each of your chapters. We're sort of forced to imagine what's really going on and what it all means. I honestly think you don't need to worry about your plot at all, especially if you keeping writing like this. There are certainly parts of your writing that I think you could just as easily place in an Agatha Christie novel.

I think you've probably come to this conclusion by now, but I love how you write each of your characters. Like I said in my first review, I love how you don't just focus on the younger characters but you also give the older ones voices too. I find myself just as interested in their parts as the others, which is rather odd for me. I especially liked how we got to hear from Walburga a bit in this chapter- I like how she focuses on the 'issue' of Barty rather than the death of Cygnus. I especially like seeing the real difference in personality between Bellatrix and Narcissa.

I thinking the ending scene is incredibly powerful. It's mysterious enough to grab the attention of everyone, but there's also a sense of knowing sort of what's going to happen. Brilliantly done, as always.

If you'd like to re-request for the other chapters, then please just comment on my thread or send me a PM and I'd be happy to. I hope these reviews have been helpful to you in some way.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hey there - thank you so much for the whole set of reviews, they've been so lovely and great to receive! :)

Thank you so much for that! I always try to keep things mysterious and not give things away - it's so hard! So tempting to just say what's going on and I have no sense of judging when something is enough of a clue or not... - so I'm so glad you like it! :) And to be compared to Agatha Christie is mind-blowing! :D :D

I actually really like exploring the older Black members as well as the ones we know better. Walburga has turned out to be surprisingly interesting, and I actually find myself starting to sort of empathise with her... it sounds terrible, I know! Haha, yeah, she definitely prefers to complain about Barty than mourn her dead brother, though why is something I'll let you decide ;) I have to be honest, I love creating conflict. So I always try to put clashing characters into situations where they have to talk to each other, or interact in some way, because it's so much fun to see the results! There's so many differences between them all - Bella and Narcissa, Sirius and Regulus, etc. It's just so exciting!

Gah, thank you so much! I was always a bit nervous about that one, because it was a real challenge to make it vague enough as it needed to be, without being too vague and just sounding odd, so I'm so happy you think it's alright! :)

Thank you so so much for these reviews - they've been so great to get, and I'll definitely try and nab another spot in your review thread! ;) And sorry for responding so late (I'm terrible at responding... it's so bad!)

Aph xx

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Review #48, by MidnightBlue_xHouse of Cards: Three of Hearts

18th December 2013:
Sorry, I had to go out between this review and the last one, but I'll continue on now.

I really like the interaction between Barty and Sirius at the beginning of the chapter, along with Regulus, they are some my favourite characters in the series. Their interaction really highlights the difference that I talked about in my last review. Barty is this sort of cheeky, mischievous, trouble-making character that reflects the way Sirius is usually written, while Sirius becomes, well for lack of a better word, serious. I like how you showed the diversity between them. I also really enjoyed Barty trying to trick Sirius into confessing. I didn't actually realise it until I thought about it just now, but you've written it in a way that makes me begin to question whether Sirius did it. I think that's the making of a great murder mystery.

I like how you've got them teaming up- it's not really something you ever suspect to happen. They're on such different sides and have different personalities and goals etc. but I kind of feel like they're doing it to protect Regulus. I feel like they're both a bit protective of me. Or maybe it's Barty covering his prints? (I personally don't think he has a motive, but you never really know, do you?) I think your characterisation of Sirius is just brilliant in this chapter- I like how you've given him depth and shown that he didn't always entirely hate his family.

The plot is still working really well in this chapter. I still think the pacing is good- what makes a murder mystery so good is that sometimes it being a lit bit slower adds to the suspense and the mystery of it all. Basically, I think your safe continuing at this pace. You slip in little hints and teasers really well- even things that probably won't come to anything later on, have me wondering and questioning everyone. That's done perfectly!

x Ely

P.S. Sorry if some of the wording seems a bit strange, I had to get creative because of the 12+ review thing.

Author's Response: Hey there again - nice to see you back again! :) No worries about it taking a bit of time - I'm the slowest reviewer in the world, so you're pretty quick to me! ;)

I'm so glad you like Barty and Sirius and Regulus, as I do kinda love all three of them and interactions between them are so much fun to write - particularly Regulus and Sirius! Barty is sort of cheeky and mischievous, but a lot more odd and sinister than Sirius is, I think. But yeah, Sirius is pretty serious in this ;) He did sort of try and make him confess - though the only reason for him to think so is because he's a Gryffindor, you know? Ooh, Sirius did it! Curious... ;) Good idea!

They're not quite teaming up as such, just Barty is kinda bored and knows Sirius is bored, so... well, yeah. Mm... why would they need to protect Regulus? ;) But yeah, they are both sort of protective of him - at least, Sirius definitely is more protective of him than he pretends to be! It could be Barty, though I couldn't possibly say... :P Thank you so much for that! I know I write Sirius differently to other people, but I thought it through before I started this so I'm so glad you like my Sirius! :)

Gah, thank you! I'm glad you don't think it's too slow - I'm always worried it is since I know I write a lot of description!

Thank you so so much for the review - and don't worry about the wording! It all made perfect sense! :)

Thanks again!

Aph xx

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Review #49, by MidnightBlue_xHouse of Cards: Two of Spades

17th December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to fulfill your request! Firstly, I should probably tell you that I've read House of Cards before, and that I absolutely adored it. I am going to try and see it through a fresh pair of eyes.

I've read a few of your other things in the past, and I think you made a wonderful transition into the murder mystery genre. I think one of the most important things in this genre is all the little details, and your descriptions fit in really well. I especially like how you staged the murder- rather than having it a few chapters in, it's happened right away and that really adds to the mysterious element. Your readers don't get a chance to develop a sense of who might have done it until after the actual event occurs.

However, you immediately start to develop and shape the characters in a way that makes them all seem guilty in their own little ways. You mentioned that you were worried that the characters were all too similar to one another. Personally, I don't see that. I like how there's this difference between Narcissa and Regulus compared to Bellatrix and Barty and again compared to Sirius. Narcissa and Regulus seem like the naive, innocent characters which sorts of takes the suspicion of them, and Bellatrix and Barty seem a bit more mischievous and unbothered by the entire thing. I think that shows the wide scale of difference between your characters- I don't think you have to worry about them being too much alike at all. I also like how you don't just focus on the younger Blacks, but you give other characters like Druella, Orion and Pollux, who are often forgotten, a chance.

Finally, you asked about the pacing and the flow. As far as first chapters go, I think the pacing is very well done. The murder has happened, we get to meet the characters and there's the added element of mystery at the end. I don't think it goes too slow or too fast in this chapter. I think it flows perfectly too. The way it's been paced means that there really is the sense of mystery that keeps your readers wanting more.

I'll be leaving a review now for your second and third chapters.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hey there - it's so great to see you back on the forums and archives! :) I'll have to keep an eye out for any more of your challenges ;)

Gah, thank you so much! I was so worried about starting in the mystery genre, since I'm a huge fan of Agatha Christie, but this was an idea I just couldn't pass up! I'm glad you liked the beginning - it wasn't my original beginning, but that failed, so I used this one instead :P

Haha, maybe they are all guilty ;) I'm so glad you like the characters - it was a bit of a daunting task taking on the whole family, haha, so I tried to make them all seem different. Yeah, there's definitely a big difference between Narcissa and Reg, and Bella and Barty. They are a lot more innocent, in many ways, and more, well, delicate, I guess. Bella and Barty are a bit more mad :P and unstable. I'm so glad you like the older characters, as well, since I had to think a lot about how I wanted to portray them :)

Thank you so so much! I'm always worried that I write scenes which are too slow, since I put in a lot of description which tends to slow things down, so I'm so happy you think it's about the right pace :)

Gah, thank you so so much for the lovely review, and sorry about how long it's taken me to respond! :)

Aph xx

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Review #50, by MidnightBlue_xNot Normal: {Chapter the Fifth}

17th December 2013:
I feel sad knowing this is the last chapter, or at least I think it is, until the queue re-opens. I don't know if I'm ready to go without my Ellie fix!

I just love Rose and Scorpius. I don't actually ship them (like I said it my first review, I don't really read Next Gen) but I love how your write them together. I especially like how they aren't like James and Lily, or like some people write Draco and Hermione- their relationship is unique to them. I'm really adoring how you write Scorpius- I think he's very sweet and I can't wait to see more of him and Rose.

Now Ellie. Ellie is just brilliant, always, but especially in this chapter for me. I feel like her bubbly personality is really coming out and I love how that affects the whole story. The advice she gives to Scorpius was amazing, but I think the last line of this chapter is the best thing ever. Could you just send Ellie over here to be my best friend? Because, you know, she's totally a really person, right?

Anyway, I hope you continue with the wonderful adventures of Ellie. If I don't get a chance later, then I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a lovely New Year. I hope you'll re-request some more reviews once you've got some more chapters up!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hopefully I'll have the next chapter ready by the time the queue reopens! And is your name pronounced the same as Ellie's, because if it is, is it really weird reading her name, or do you just read it differently?

I ship Rose and Scorpius harder than I ship Ellie and Al (because Al is a pain), and poor Ellie is going to have to bear the brunt of my feelings for those two. And I thought about writing them like James and Lily, but I've sort of written Ellie and Al like James and Lily, and that already feels like a cliche that I'm working to get through. Too much Jily-like tension is not good for the wizarding world - we got a Boy Who Lived the last time something like Jily happened to the world!

It's so wonderful that you've picked up on her bubbly personality - often it's hidden by all her introvertedness, but it's definitely there. She's quite a genuine person behind all that snark and sarcasm. Aww! It's such a lovely compliment that you want Ellie to be your best friend! She'd be so excited by the idea.

Ellie has a whole lot of adventure still in store for her, the poor thing! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you, too!

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