Reading Reviews From Member: MidnightBlue_x
  
233 Reviews Found

Review #26, by MidnightBlue_xThe Fall of the Town : A Stranger In the Dawn

22nd December 2013:
Back again with your reviews for this chapter and the next one. I just want to say that even if you hadn't re-requested, I was planning on continuing to read the story, so I'm glad that you did.

I love the little songs you include, especially because you wrote them yourself. They really add to the story and give it that real genuine feel to it. I know I said the same thing in my last review, but I really feel like it's a brilliant thing to add to the story.

I love the description about Death, especially how Marigold can still feel him lurking around. I liked how you added in how Death saw himself as the master of the Peverells- it gives off that really creepy vibe, but it's also written so beautifully.

I still love Marigold as a character. I think you've written her wonderfully- I like how she understands the world around her even though she's quite young. I like how she's selfless too- she's worried about Trip and his magic, rather than herself. For me, that makes her an incredibly likeable character. I liked Mayor Radley as well- I think the fact that you mentioned his son with the twisted leg, it's not usually a thing that gets written about, but it is something close to my heart. Especially the fact that he is more worried for the boy than ashamed- that was really nice to read.

The fact that Stephane seems so shocked about a muggle being able to do magic was really well done. I liked seeing what he thought before the prejudice about muggle-borns really became a thing. I think the fact that Stephane actually wants to stop the plague is a very powerful thing-it's not necessarily something you'd hear from a wizard, I think. The fact that he actually manages to do it, was amazing. I'm definitely growing to love Stephane as a character.

I love how you build the detail in the story. Now, especially, since I realise I've read other pieces of yours, I can see the real variance in your style. I think it's wonderful that you can write a story like this with so much detail and story, and also write a story like GfS which is more character based. For me, this just highlights how much you've put into this story.

I'll be reviewing the next chapter now!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi Ely! :) First of all thanks so much for giving me all these wonderful reviews, and hearing that you wanted to keep reading anyway really made my day. ♥

Ah, I loved writing the songs! For each chapter they were the first thing I wrote to get a good feel for what might happen. I'm glad you felt it added to the story.

As soon as I knew the Peverells would be my main focus I knew there had to be a mention of Death- I felt that he would continue to haunt the descendants of Ignotus especially. I'm glad you found him creepy, but also an interesting addition. :)

It's wonderful to hear how you like Marigold! She is very kind and helpful to others, and cares about her family and friends. Mayor Radley was a really unique character for me to write as well - I'm glad you found his love for his son touching as I think it gave an interesting spin to his character.

I'm glad you liked the interpretations of muggleborns as well! I sort of imagined muggleborn wizards mostly being frightened and staying secret, so a muggleborn talking about his abilities would be quite confusing. I'm glad you like Stephane, as I really love him too- he has heroic and great magical qualities, but also a lot of flaws and selfish inclinations, so he's a real joy to write.

I'm really honoured you enjoyed the detail, and can tell how hard I worked on making this detailed and unique! :) I really love playing with different styles of stories and narrative.

Thank you so much for this beautiful review! :)


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Review #27, by MidnightBlue_xOperation Mistletoe: Operation Mistletoe

21st December 2013:
CALLY!

It's so beautiful. I love it so much! And you were worried about it :P But honestly, I think it's very lovely. I really like how you've written James and Lily, especially James. He's much sweeter than people usually write- I like that.

I really hope you go well in the Duel. Merry Christmas Cal!!

x Ely

Author's Response: Thanks so much Ely, really glad you enjoyed it! Yay for sweet James! Thanks again for your Christmas present :)

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Review #28, by MidnightBlue_xTainted Tinsel: Christmas Eve

18th December 2013:
Hi, I'm ElysiumJayne from the forums and I'm here for some review tagging fun!

I don't think I've actually ever read anything from Greyback's point of view, but I have to say I did really enjoy reading this. I like how you made him so intelligent rather than being some mindless supporter of Voldemort. The descriptions you used are amazing- incredibly creepy and evil, but brilliant nonetheless and incredibly powerful. Reading about how he picks his victims and plans his attack was so freaky, I can't even put it into words.

The attack itself was so well written. I don't know whether to be impressed or worried that you could write something like that! Poor Eilidh- My heart absolutely breaks for her! It was very interesting to see that sort of possessive/protective side of Greyback, even if it was creepy.

I don't know what else to say, but well done. I hope you have a lovely Christmas (and that you aren't bitten by any werewolves) and a wonderful New Year.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hello!

I had been wanting to experiment with Fenrir, so this was particularly fun. Since Voldemort used werewolves as pawns in his war, I only assumed that they (the werewolves) would be assisting for some of their own gain. Fenrir had a cause of his own, so I (again) assumed that he would have powerful leadership qualities.

The attack was fun to write; I really enjoy writing action scenes as it turns out. Because of the perspective I chose to write in, I was able to gain some emotional detachment from the victimized characters. That, of course, made it significantly easier to write something so sensitive. Poor Eilidh, indeed!

Thank you! And the same to you, especially sans the werewolves :)!

-Rumpel


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Review #29, by MidnightBlue_xA Chance Encounter: Imperfections Included

18th December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from over at the forums, and I'm here to fulfil your request!

I think one of the best things about Hannah Abbott is that there really isn't much known about her except for her house and that she ends up with Neville. She's basically a blank canvas. Because of that, I don't think you need to worry about her characterisation- you've written her here really well in my opinion. I think the fact that she's sort of scared to get involved after everything she went through is incredibly realistic.

As for Neville, I think you did really well with him as well. I like that you haven't written him as this big war hero but rather as the old Neville, with a little bit more confidence maybe. I like how you mentioned the part of about him not really being Auror material- I thought that admittance was very Neville.

You said you thought you were terrible lovey dovey scences? I'm not sure that I agree with that. I think that you built up the bit of romance/friendship between Hannah and Neville nicely. It didn't feel it was forced, it just flowed really nice and it was realistic! I don't think you're nearly as bad as you seem to think you are!

As for the quote, I know how difficult they can be to fit into stories, but I like how you wrote it in. Having it at the end really highlights the quote. I definitely thought that you fit it in with the themes of the story- again, it didn't seem forced to me.

I hope this review helped you in some way, and I wish you luck with the challenge! I wish you a very merry Christmas and a lovely New Year too!

x Ely

Author's Response: Thank you for responding to my request so quickly! I'm sorry that it's taken a little while for me to respond to your review.

I always get a bit antsy when I get too close to talking about canon characters, so I was really worried about Hannah's characterization, but I see your point! She's mentioned here and there in the books, but she isn't really explored in depth. I'm so glad that you think I've portrayed her realistically!

Yeah, I'm a big fan of old Neville (although Matthew Lewis is absolutely perfect...). He may have destroyed a Horcrux, but at the end of it all, he's still a bit clumsy, a tad clueless, and a truly nice guy. He just isn't the Auror type, and I think that he knows that.

Awww, you're sweet! I always feel like I don't write romance as well as some of the really fabulous authors on HPFF do--when I write it, it seems a bit forced. But I'm glad that you thought it was okay. We are our own worst critics, after all! I guess I'll just have to write more romantic scenes for practice. ;)

Ah, yes. The quote! I had hoped that it didn't seem too much like an afterthought, and I'm glad that to you, it doesn't seem that way.

Your review definitely helped me A LOT. Thank you so much for all of your praise and opinions! Happy New Year!!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #30, by MidnightBlue_xHouse of Cards: Four of Clubs

18th December 2013:
Okay, here with my third review.

I just love how you create this sense of mystery in each of your chapters. We're sort of forced to imagine what's really going on and what it all means. I honestly think you don't need to worry about your plot at all, especially if you keeping writing like this. There are certainly parts of your writing that I think you could just as easily place in an Agatha Christie novel.

I think you've probably come to this conclusion by now, but I love how you write each of your characters. Like I said in my first review, I love how you don't just focus on the younger characters but you also give the older ones voices too. I find myself just as interested in their parts as the others, which is rather odd for me. I especially liked how we got to hear from Walburga a bit in this chapter- I like how she focuses on the 'issue' of Barty rather than the death of Cygnus. I especially like seeing the real difference in personality between Bellatrix and Narcissa.

I thinking the ending scene is incredibly powerful. It's mysterious enough to grab the attention of everyone, but there's also a sense of knowing sort of what's going to happen. Brilliantly done, as always.

If you'd like to re-request for the other chapters, then please just comment on my thread or send me a PM and I'd be happy to. I hope these reviews have been helpful to you in some way.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hey there - thank you so much for the whole set of reviews, they've been so lovely and great to receive! :)

Thank you so much for that! I always try to keep things mysterious and not give things away - it's so hard! So tempting to just say what's going on and I have no sense of judging when something is enough of a clue or not... - so I'm so glad you like it! :) And to be compared to Agatha Christie is mind-blowing! :D :D

I actually really like exploring the older Black members as well as the ones we know better. Walburga has turned out to be surprisingly interesting, and I actually find myself starting to sort of empathise with her... it sounds terrible, I know! Haha, yeah, she definitely prefers to complain about Barty than mourn her dead brother, though why is something I'll let you decide ;) I have to be honest, I love creating conflict. So I always try to put clashing characters into situations where they have to talk to each other, or interact in some way, because it's so much fun to see the results! There's so many differences between them all - Bella and Narcissa, Sirius and Regulus, etc. It's just so exciting!

Gah, thank you so much! I was always a bit nervous about that one, because it was a real challenge to make it vague enough as it needed to be, without being too vague and just sounding odd, so I'm so happy you think it's alright! :)

Thank you so so much for these reviews - they've been so great to get, and I'll definitely try and nab another spot in your review thread! ;) And sorry for responding so late (I'm terrible at responding... it's so bad!)

Aph xx


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Review #31, by MidnightBlue_xHouse of Cards: Three of Hearts

18th December 2013:
Sorry, I had to go out between this review and the last one, but I'll continue on now.

I really like the interaction between Barty and Sirius at the beginning of the chapter, along with Regulus, they are some my favourite characters in the series. Their interaction really highlights the difference that I talked about in my last review. Barty is this sort of cheeky, mischievous, trouble-making character that reflects the way Sirius is usually written, while Sirius becomes, well for lack of a better word, serious. I like how you showed the diversity between them. I also really enjoyed Barty trying to trick Sirius into confessing. I didn't actually realise it until I thought about it just now, but you've written it in a way that makes me begin to question whether Sirius did it. I think that's the making of a great murder mystery.

I like how you've got them teaming up- it's not really something you ever suspect to happen. They're on such different sides and have different personalities and goals etc. but I kind of feel like they're doing it to protect Regulus. I feel like they're both a bit protective of me. Or maybe it's Barty covering his prints? (I personally don't think he has a motive, but you never really know, do you?) I think your characterisation of Sirius is just brilliant in this chapter- I like how you've given him depth and shown that he didn't always entirely hate his family.

The plot is still working really well in this chapter. I still think the pacing is good- what makes a murder mystery so good is that sometimes it being a lit bit slower adds to the suspense and the mystery of it all. Basically, I think your safe continuing at this pace. You slip in little hints and teasers really well- even things that probably won't come to anything later on, have me wondering and questioning everyone. That's done perfectly!

x Ely

P.S. Sorry if some of the wording seems a bit strange, I had to get creative because of the 12+ review thing.

Author's Response: Hey there again - nice to see you back again! :) No worries about it taking a bit of time - I'm the slowest reviewer in the world, so you're pretty quick to me! ;)

I'm so glad you like Barty and Sirius and Regulus, as I do kinda love all three of them and interactions between them are so much fun to write - particularly Regulus and Sirius! Barty is sort of cheeky and mischievous, but a lot more odd and sinister than Sirius is, I think. But yeah, Sirius is pretty serious in this ;) He did sort of try and make him confess - though the only reason for him to think so is because he's a Gryffindor, you know? Ooh, Sirius did it! Curious... ;) Good idea!

They're not quite teaming up as such, just Barty is kinda bored and knows Sirius is bored, so... well, yeah. Mm... why would they need to protect Regulus? ;) But yeah, they are both sort of protective of him - at least, Sirius definitely is more protective of him than he pretends to be! It could be Barty, though I couldn't possibly say... :P Thank you so much for that! I know I write Sirius differently to other people, but I thought it through before I started this so I'm so glad you like my Sirius! :)

Gah, thank you! I'm glad you don't think it's too slow - I'm always worried it is since I know I write a lot of description!

Thank you so so much for the review - and don't worry about the wording! It all made perfect sense! :)

Thanks again!

Aph xx


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Review #32, by MidnightBlue_xHouse of Cards: Two of Spades

17th December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to fulfill your request! Firstly, I should probably tell you that I've read House of Cards before, and that I absolutely adored it. I am going to try and see it through a fresh pair of eyes.

I've read a few of your other things in the past, and I think you made a wonderful transition into the murder mystery genre. I think one of the most important things in this genre is all the little details, and your descriptions fit in really well. I especially like how you staged the murder- rather than having it a few chapters in, it's happened right away and that really adds to the mysterious element. Your readers don't get a chance to develop a sense of who might have done it until after the actual event occurs.

However, you immediately start to develop and shape the characters in a way that makes them all seem guilty in their own little ways. You mentioned that you were worried that the characters were all too similar to one another. Personally, I don't see that. I like how there's this difference between Narcissa and Regulus compared to Bellatrix and Barty and again compared to Sirius. Narcissa and Regulus seem like the naive, innocent characters which sorts of takes the suspicion of them, and Bellatrix and Barty seem a bit more mischievous and unbothered by the entire thing. I think that shows the wide scale of difference between your characters- I don't think you have to worry about them being too much alike at all. I also like how you don't just focus on the younger Blacks, but you give other characters like Druella, Orion and Pollux, who are often forgotten, a chance.

Finally, you asked about the pacing and the flow. As far as first chapters go, I think the pacing is very well done. The murder has happened, we get to meet the characters and there's the added element of mystery at the end. I don't think it goes too slow or too fast in this chapter. I think it flows perfectly too. The way it's been paced means that there really is the sense of mystery that keeps your readers wanting more.

I'll be leaving a review now for your second and third chapters.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hey there - it's so great to see you back on the forums and archives! :) I'll have to keep an eye out for any more of your challenges ;)

Gah, thank you so much! I was so worried about starting in the mystery genre, since I'm a huge fan of Agatha Christie, but this was an idea I just couldn't pass up! I'm glad you liked the beginning - it wasn't my original beginning, but that failed, so I used this one instead :P

Haha, maybe they are all guilty ;) I'm so glad you like the characters - it was a bit of a daunting task taking on the whole family, haha, so I tried to make them all seem different. Yeah, there's definitely a big difference between Narcissa and Reg, and Bella and Barty. They are a lot more innocent, in many ways, and more, well, delicate, I guess. Bella and Barty are a bit more mad :P and unstable. I'm so glad you like the older characters, as well, since I had to think a lot about how I wanted to portray them :)

Thank you so so much! I'm always worried that I write scenes which are too slow, since I put in a lot of description which tends to slow things down, so I'm so happy you think it's about the right pace :)

Gah, thank you so so much for the lovely review, and sorry about how long it's taken me to respond! :)

Aph xx


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Review #33, by MidnightBlue_xNot Normal: {Chapter the Fifth}

17th December 2013:
I feel sad knowing this is the last chapter, or at least I think it is, until the queue re-opens. I don't know if I'm ready to go without my Ellie fix!

I just love Rose and Scorpius. I don't actually ship them (like I said it my first review, I don't really read Next Gen) but I love how your write them together. I especially like how they aren't like James and Lily, or like some people write Draco and Hermione- their relationship is unique to them. I'm really adoring how you write Scorpius- I think he's very sweet and I can't wait to see more of him and Rose.

Now Ellie. Ellie is just brilliant, always, but especially in this chapter for me. I feel like her bubbly personality is really coming out and I love how that affects the whole story. The advice she gives to Scorpius was amazing, but I think the last line of this chapter is the best thing ever. Could you just send Ellie over here to be my best friend? Because, you know, she's totally a really person, right?

Anyway, I hope you continue with the wonderful adventures of Ellie. If I don't get a chance later, then I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a lovely New Year. I hope you'll re-request some more reviews once you've got some more chapters up!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hopefully I'll have the next chapter ready by the time the queue reopens! And is your name pronounced the same as Ellie's, because if it is, is it really weird reading her name, or do you just read it differently?

I ship Rose and Scorpius harder than I ship Ellie and Al (because Al is a pain), and poor Ellie is going to have to bear the brunt of my feelings for those two. And I thought about writing them like James and Lily, but I've sort of written Ellie and Al like James and Lily, and that already feels like a cliche that I'm working to get through. Too much Jily-like tension is not good for the wizarding world - we got a Boy Who Lived the last time something like Jily happened to the world!

It's so wonderful that you've picked up on her bubbly personality - often it's hidden by all her introvertedness, but it's definitely there. She's quite a genuine person behind all that snark and sarcasm. Aww! It's such a lovely compliment that you want Ellie to be your best friend! She'd be so excited by the idea.

Ellie has a whole lot of adventure still in store for her, the poor thing! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you, too!


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Review #34, by MidnightBlue_xNot Normal: {Chapter the Fourth}

17th December 2013:
It feels good to be back, even though it's been less than a day! First of all, I just wanted to thank you for re-requesting and for responding to my last set of reviews- your replies really made me laugh.

I feel like I spend most of my time while reading your story just laughing at the things Ellie says. I really like how you've made her sort of a mixture of serious and funny, I think it really adds to the story. It takes that edge off. I liked the part about the restricted section- especially how Ellie manipulated the situation to fit her needs. Are you sure she's not secretly a Slytherin?

As usual, loved the interaction between Regulus and Ellie. I love how he's so calm and collected, and Ellie...well, isn't. As you put it, he really has his stuff (damn the 12+ rule) together. Albus is wonderful, of course. I'm really looking forward to see more interaction between the two of them- I just find it so hilarious. (And yeah, Ellie your comebacks probably do need a bit of work) Regulus' little interjections were brilliant, by the way. And the Sexual Tension Saga- I think I laughed for a good five minutes at that.

The fact that Ellie is being, reasonably, truthful makes me laugh. The part of the 'boyfriend' standing right next to Albus and him not believing it, though truthfully Regulus is there, was awesome. If I were Ellie, I'd just be chuckling to myself like all the time. The little references you make are wonderful, especially because they're things that most people know. You're not making references to some obscure wizarding book that was mentioned like once in the book series, but things like Pride and Prejudice. I think the fact that we know about that book makes Ellie's reference funnier and more realistic.

I love the voice you've given Ellie. I honestly think it's wonderful and I don't think there's a better narrator for your story. You've written her so well!

x Ely

Author's Response: I'm happy to make people laugh in any small way I can. It's so nice of you to laugh even at my bad jokes.

It is absolutely fantastic if you're laughing at Ellie - or more specifically, at what she says. She walks that line between comedy and drama so well, and I'm glad that it shows. And the secret Slytherin thing? - FUTURE PLOT POINT SO I CAN'T GIVE SPOILERS.

Regulus is actually such a lovely foil for Ellie at the moment. He's the only one even nearly sassy (and dead) enough to go head to head with her at the moment. I'm glad you like Albus - because he's absolutely terrible when it comes to writing him. Never have I had so much trouble with a character as I am having with him.

The thing they say about truth being stranger than fiction really is so true for Ellie. The bloke lives in a world full of magic and dragons, and he just can't believe that someone can see different kinds of dead people. I love that aspect about human nature. As to Ellie's references - she lives a lot of her life in the Muggle world, and that shows, often to her detriment.

Thanks so much for this review! I appreciate your appreciation for Ellie!


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Review #35, by MidnightBlue_xThe Fall of the Town : The People of Hamlin

17th December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to fill your review request! I completely forgot to mention it, but I usually review three chapters at a time- I'll just review the first one for you now but if you'd like to do the others then either post in my review thread or send me a PM and I'll be more than happy to. Anyway, let's get started.

The first thing I noticed about the chapter was the little folk song you included. I don't if that's actually a song or if you wrote it, but I think it adds to the feel of the chapter really well. You were concerned about the descriptions in the chapter- Personally, I loved them. From the very first word I was drawn in. I just love the language you used to describe everything- I could picture everything in my mind as you described it. I think that's a very rare thing in fics nowadays. I liked the background you gave, I thought that was very interesting and very detailed too.

I loved how some of the names were familiar, like Pettigrew, Bones and Peverell. I think having that connection to characters that J.K created means that they are easier to connect to because there is that sense of familiarity even if it only stems from a name. I loved how you described the Peverell's and what led them to Hamlin. I love Marigold, Blind Johnny and Trip- especially the part about Trip's magical powers and how he always 'knew'. That sort of feeling is what I imagine some muggle-borns would feel, so I thought that was captured brilliantly. I'd be interested to learn more about these three in particular.

I also really liked the plot, especially how it's sort of the reversed story from the books. The muggles getting rid of the wizards instead of the other way around- it's all very exciting! The transition into the building of Hogwarts was amazing. It's not something I've ever read before, but I really enjoyed how you described it. I especially liked how it wasn't just about the founders of Hogwarts, but also included their families- that was incredibly interesting to me.

I think that this is a marvelous first chapter. For me, it really reads like a classic legend of the time and I think that your ability to do that is amazing. To put it quite simply, I love this story already and I think it really has the potential to be absolutely brilliant. I think the language and the tone you've used fits perfectly and I really like how the whole chapters flows together.

I hope this review helped you in some way, and feel free to re-request if you'd like the next two chapters done (I do technically owe you those!).

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Wow, thank you so much for this really thoughtful and detailed review! That's so nice of you to offer to do the next ones- I feel a little guilty requesting some of these chapters since they're so long, but I'd love your opinion on the other chapters and the flow of the story if you don't mind! :D

I'm glad you liked the song- I wrote it as a sort of preface to the story and all the chapters have a little song like that at the beginning. :) It's really great to hear you liked the descriptions and that they helped bring the story to life for you as they did for me while writing it. One of my favourite parts of the story was constructing the idea of Hamlin with the background information, so I'm very pleased that came across as important and believable and didn't seem to drag on too much.

Yes! I thought it was important to make some references to canon to make sure the story was tied in and relatable for readers. I'm quite interested in writing/reading historical fan-fiction so that aspect is really important. Ah I'm so glad you liked the OCs, and the Peverells especially: Marigold is one of my favourite OCs I've created. :) The story definitely goes on to tell more about these three characters are their fates, and how they are intertwined with Hogwarts. I figured that Muggleborns would be an interesting and confusing enigma for wizards and that the confusion and prejudice would be very deep-seated this far back in time.

Ah yes! The conflicts between the wizards and muggles were inspired from historical records of suspicion and hatred towards witches, and how in medieval times a town like Hamlin where they co-exist would be very unusual. I love learning and thinking about the Founders' families as well, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed those details. :)

Thank you! Getting feedback about this chapter in particular - the others move more towards plot and narrative - feels like a legend is really amazing praise. I'm so happy you liked the story. Thank you for this incredible review, it was so thoughtful and helpful and a real joy to receive. I'll be sure to re-request as I would love your opinions on the next chapter. :)


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Review #36, by MidnightBlue_xSticks and Stones: I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

17th December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to fill your review request! Let's get started then!

I wasn't quite sure where this chapter was going to go at the beginning, but I really liked how it turned out. I love Pippa- I think she has the potential to be a really great main character. I especially liked how feisty she was- she wasn't going to take any of Peter's actions lying down.

You were concerned about the believability- I think it's quite good, but there are a few parts that I think you could fix up. I think some of the dialogue seems a little bit out of place or forced at times. I think if you changed a couple of words here and there, the whole chapter would flow much better.

As for the plot, I'm interested to see where this is going to go. I'd like to find out what Pippa's occupation is, because it sounds quite interesting. Because it's the prologue, I can't really comment on too much more. I hope this review helped you in some way nonetheless and feel free to re-request when your next chapter is up, if you'd like to.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi there Ely!

Thank u so much! There's a lot to Peter and Pippa's relationship that isn't revealed yet, so, yeah, she is feisty. I'm more than half way through the next chapter and I find that she can be really cold and cruel, so she's a bit different from what I usually write and i'm enjoying it :)

Yeah- to me, the whole idea of James crashing a wedding just literally came to me in a dream. And well, dreams aren't exactly believable, so... Thanks :) I'll go back and have a good read through :)

Believe me, her occupation isn't that interesting, she just does crazy things in her position. But the whole plot is based on what he does with her profession :)

Thank u so much! I will probably rerequest :)

-ReeBee :)


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Review #37, by MidnightBlue_xNot Normal: {Chapter the Third}

17th December 2013:
Okay, final review for this request. If you'd like me to continue, please feel free to re-request. Anyway, on with the review!

I like how you start every chapter the same- it's very cool and I love seeing what Ellie thinks makes your life not normal. (The start of this one sounds particularly enjoyable if you ask me!) I feel Ellie when she says that she hates pretty much all forms of physical exercise- that's me too. I love how she thinks she's going to get away with it too, only to have Chris be made charge of her running. I also totally get Ellie not being a morning person, I mean who is?

I'm just loving the interaction between Ellie and Albus. Especially when she considers being the bigger person, but decides his smug attitude is just too much to take. I'll be interested to see some more Scorpius in the future too- and especially some more interaction between Chris, Albus and Scorpius, I'd like to see more of their friendship because I think it could be really interesting. And James! I loved the story about the poison ivy- that was very funny.

The smart little comments that Ellie makes are just wonderful. I especially liked 'Chris made friends like mitochondria metabolised glucose for energy' and 'The rest of them had absorbed me through a slow process of diffusion'. I feel like Ellie is just living my life for me. I did notice just under that, that you wrote 'some Wotter kids' instead of Potter.

I instantly loved Amy. I'm really interested to see the friendship between Amy, Ellie and Rose now. I think that they're different personalities will make for a really interesting combination. Ben sounds like an interesting character too- I can't wait to see where that goes! I loved all the Doctor Who and James Bond references too.

Again, loved the chapter! I'm definitely interested to see where the story goes now that they are back at Hogwarts. So that's the end of my reviews, feel free to re-request anytime!

x Ely

Author's Response: It is SO DIFFICULT to think up those opening lines - I've rewritten many a scene just to get that first line right! It's so nice of you to appreciate it! (And on a side note, if three buff fictional guys wanted to eat breakfast without any upper body coverings in my kitchen, they would be more than welcome!) I hate physical exercise, too! And morning people are really aliens in disguise.

Albus really pushes all her buttons, doesn't he? And I promise that there is more Scorpius to come! He was surprisingly fun to write... And OMG James! Even I fangirl over him!

Ellie has a weirdly wonderful way of looking at the world. I'm glad that the readers appreciate it, because she feels that most of the characters in her sphere of influence don't. And my "Wotter" is a blend of "Weasley-Potter" - I should explain that somewhere...

Amy is the bomb! Ben is the bomb! That entire family is the bomb! And not only because they're secretly spies, either.

Thanks so much for these wonderful reviews! I really appreciate them, and I'll be sure to re-request when there is an available spot in your queue!


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Review #38, by MidnightBlue_xNot Normal: {Chapter the Second}

17th December 2013:
Back again with my second review! I'm going to jump right in!

So my favourite character in the entire series is Regulus Black, so I was pretty excited to see him in this chapter. (And yes Ellie, he is cute!) I loved how you wrote Regulus'. A lot of people make him quite broody and whatnot which is fair, but I think he would have had a bit of that cheeky side like how you've written him, even if it didn't come until after he died. I really do hope that we get to see more of Regulus in the future! And the fact he'd watch Doctor Who- that really made my evening.

I loved how Ellie is a smart main character- I think the point about how main OWL's she got is actually really interesting. I think it builds on her personality- she's sarcastic and blunt, and she doesn't let her gift get in the way of her life. I really like characters like that. I love the interaction between Ellie and Chris- I think their becoming my favourite set of siblings that I've read in a fic for a while. That being said, I think the fact that Ellie is so reluctant to tell her brother about her gift is both sad and very realistic. Keeping a secret like that for that long is bound to have its consequences, though I hope she will eventually tell him!

I loved your characterization of Ginny. She's very quick-witted which I enjoyed, especially against Ellie's confusion at the time. I thought it was incredibly entertaining. I loved the bit about the strait-jacket and the ticket to Bedlam- I think those thoughts that sort of run away in moments like that is also very realistic and again, entertaining. I liked how Ellie looked up to Ginny as a mother, and how she felt being included into her family.

Like I said in my first review, I really think your writing style suits the fic perfectly and you just made that really clear in this chapter. I think it's very consistent, which then allows for everything to flow really nicely. I can't wait to see some more Albus/Ellie interactions soon!

x Ely

Author's Response: Regulus Black is a seriously ignored character. He's so much a part of canon, yet he's a completely blank canvas in terms of characterisation! There's just so many places that you can take him - such as the ghost plain. I always figured that without the whole Voldemort thing he'd be a lot like Sirius, so that's the way I wrote him here. And of course he loves Doctor Who - he wouldn't be perfect otherwise!

Ellie's strangely protective of her grades. They are quite important to her - and you're right in saying that she doesn't let her gift get her down. She just tries to manage her life around it, rather than accepting it as an integral part of it - so much room for conflict! Also part of the reason why she doesn't want to tell Chris her deep dark secret!

Ginny was such a joy to write. She's quite emotionally mature in the books, and now after a stellar Quidditch career, three kids, and a few years of marriage to one of the biggest names in recent Wizardin history, that emotional intelligence was just bound to increase! I'm glad that you liked her!

Thanks so much for another wonderful review!


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Review #39, by MidnightBlue_xNot Normal: {Chapter the First}

17th December 2013:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums with your review. I forgot to mention that I'll review the first three chapters of the story for your one request, and then if you'd like to re-request for the others then you can.

I haven't really read many Next Gen fics in my time, but this is definitely my favourite so far. I adore Ellie as the main character. I think she's wonderful. I especially liked the line 'with about as much haughtiness a five-year-old in her nightie could muster' - that was brilliant. I think you introduce Ellie's gift really well, it was nice seeing it from the beginning rather than it just being a given in a story. I think the fact that you showed it through a child's point of view made it even more interesting, especially because she didn't completely understand what was going on. I liked how you explained these ghosts- the whole gift of seeing ghosts could be a bit silly in the HP world, since everyone can do it, but having these people 'stuck' gave it a nice touch. But more than it, it made it interesting- I wanted to know about these ghosts and what this gift would mean for Ellie.

I loved the relationship between Ellie and Chris, both in childhood and when they were older. I think one of my favourite things was how things between them didn't change because of Ellie's gift or because of their mother's death. With their mother, I think it was good that she died of something different. I get how that might sound horrible, but it was different to having her die of the flu rather than the usual murder thing. I adored the bit about 'The Finnish Fiasco'- that was just perfect in my opinion. I liked how Ellie and Albus don't really get along- and she knows why, but she still questions it. I thought that was very well done- instead of having her just mindlessly hate him, she sort of sits on the fence sometimes. I think that's something different to a lot of fics. Back on to Chris- I love how they had different 'gifts'. Ellie's might be seeing ghosts, but she wishes she had the gift of music like her brother- I thought that was very realistic. I especially liked how there wasn't that resentment between them despite everything they would have gone through.

I thought you wrote Rose wonderfully. I absolutely adored their friendship- it's very realistic and it reminds of my best friend. I liked how Ellie was very sarcastic with her, but ultimately she let herself be manipulated by Rose. The Cake sense thing- brilliant. I loved how 'mystic' Madame Cassandra was supposed to be and how Ellie wasn't buying any of it. I can't help but wonder if the name Cassandra was a reference to the seer related to Trelawney? I'm totally Rose- I can't wait for this mysterious love :P

All in all, I thought the characters were very well done and it flowed really well. As for the writing style, you asked whether I thought you were trying too hard. Honestly, I think your writing style really suits the story. You're not trying to make sound too intelligent or mysterious, it just flows really nicely and fits the premise of the story very well. The only thing I would suggest is fixing the spacing in a few places and the only sort of typo I saw was- ThankFlamel.

I have to warn you that my next two reviews probably won't be as long (maybe they will?). I hope this review helped you though and I shall see you in the next one.
x Ely

Author's Response: Wowee! What an incredibly detailed review! Thank you so much!

I'm glad you like Ellie. As a reader, the thing I look for most in a story is a character to whom I can connect. I wanted Ellie to be that way - that is EXACTLY why I gave her special ghost-seeing powers, because obviously everyone can do that. (-end sarcasm-) I try and be funny but I'm really not, am I?

I loved writing Ellie's dad. He's so wonderfully scatter-brained for the saddest of reasons. And yeah, I was a bit sick of death by other human being, so I tried a popular one from the history books. Nothing more pesky than disease! I also love Chris. The two of them are quite different, but in a way that sort of makes them the same. And concerning Albus - I try and show her as being at least a little aware of her relationships. She values critical thought, and that means evaluating the real reason behind her... relationship with Albus.

Rose is actually the best. She's so bubbly and fun and so completely different from Ellie. I don't think she has a sarcastic bone in her body. And I loved writing her love for Divination! Madame Cassandra references the seer from the story of Troy who was legit but no one believed her because some angry Greek god cursed her!

I'm so happy that you think the writing style suits the story! I'm not sure how it will fare when the action picks up, but we'll see! Thanks so much for this fantabulous review!


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Review #40, by MidnightBlue_xMoonlit Sonata: For a Change

8th December 2013:
This is honestly my favourite Sirius/OC WIP at the moment. My day is made so much better every time that there's a new update. I can't decide who I like better though...Ana and Remus or Ana and Sirius? It's such a difficult choice! Anyway, love the story and can't wait to read the next chapter!!

x Ely

Author's Response: Aw thank you! It's hard to choose between the two boys, but the end won't be too far away and you'll know it all. ;)

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Review #41, by MidnightBlue_xEasy Terms: Wallflower

8th December 2013:
I think this story sounds really interesting. I hope you continue it because I'd really like to see where you take the story.

x Ely

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Review #42, by MidnightBlue_x Bedlam and Broomsticks: The Thing About Stilettos

23rd November 2013:
This chapter is awesome! The whole piggyback scene was so cute and I love how for once Kenzie didn't question it. I can't wait for her to actually realise how much of a good guy Oliver is. So excited to read more!

x Ely

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it as much as you did. Before I edited I was kind of frustrated with it so its nice to know it came out alright. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter finished sometime this week. As always, thanks again for the review!

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Review #43, by MidnightBlue_xCruel Fate: Hands Open

16th November 2013:
This story is awesome. I love Viola, and I'm a massive fan of both Sirius and Regulus. I can't wait to read more! I hope you can update soon.

x Ely

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Review #44, by MidnightBlue_x Bedlam and Broomsticks: Commiseration

16th November 2013:
I love this story so much! I really think how you write Oliver and Kenzie is amazing. I really hope that they can figure stuff out though- I need my Oliver/Kenzi cuteness. I hope you update soon :)

x Ely

Author's Response: Thanks for making me smile and taking the time to review! I love the encouragement and the fact that someone else enjoys the story as much as I do! I kind of feel like I post chapters a bit fast, but just for you I'll put the next chapter in the queue tonight. Hope you enjoy and continue to read and review!

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Review #45, by MidnightBlue_xDangerously In Love: Don't Give Away the End

12th November 2013:
I absolutely love this story. I don't know who I want Dollie to end up with though. I love her with Sirius, but she and Remus are so cute! I hope you can update soon :)

x Ely

Author's Response: It means a lot that you're liking this story so far :). Don't worry, Dollie is just as confused as you are. Remus is kind of a first love situation but Sirius has proved himself to be quite the guy. The next chapter is done but I'm still polishing it up so I will update soon. Thank you so much for the review!

~Misty


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Review #46, by MidnightBlue_xIn Too Far: Chapter Sixty-One

18th September 2013:
I'm so glad you've updated this story and I hope you will continue to do so. I can't wait to read more Barty/Gwen (I seriously hope there is more!). All in all, I just seriously adore this story.

x Ely

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Review #47, by MidnightBlue_xTie That Binds: Prologue

3rd August 2013:
This story sounds so intriguing- I'm a massive Regulus fan but there aren't many stories with him at least not with romance. I can't wait to read more of your story!

x Ely

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm quite a big Regulus fan myself. I think he's a really important character in the series and it does suck a bit that there aren't more stories about him. Thanks again for your review!

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Review #48, by MidnightBlue_xTreachery: Hogsmeade

24th July 2013:
I don't really have too much to say about this chapter but it looked lonely without any reviews and I know how much it sucks when things don't get reviews (then again, maybe you don't panic like I do but anyway). I really like the chapter (and the whole story) and I know it's still early but I don't know whether I like Sirius or Regulus more yet. Can't wait to see where this goes!!

x Ely

Author's Response: Aw thank you and yes it was looking rather lonely aha thank you for reviewing. And I know I'm struggling to decide who I prefer more, I sort of have an ending planned but we'll see haha and thank you for reviewing it means a lot!!! :-)

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Review #49, by MidnightBlue_xTreachery: Curious

13th July 2013:
I love this story- Sirius/OC/Regulus will always be my biggest weakness. I can't wait to see where you go with this. Eagerly awaiting your next chapter!!

x Ely

Author's Response: Awww it's a weakness of mine too that's why I was so eager to write the story aha, a new chapter should be along shortly!

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Review #50, by MidnightBlue_xThief In The Light: Gives You Hell

9th July 2013:
AH!?!?!!

This chapter is awesome, dear. I still can't get over the duck thing- it's way too entertaining especially with Harry falling over and everything. I really can't wait to see where you go with the rest of this Jessicaah!

xxx Ely

Author's Response:
I love the idea of Harry turning into a duck! I had looked for the duck charm for a while and I hadn't even mentioned it! Which by the way (to any readers who read it, the charm is 'Ducklifors')
Thank you Ely for the lovely review!


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