I love this story to be quite honest; it's so original :).
I love that for once Sirius is horrible in this, because in other stories he's 'romantic' and 'sweet' and 'lovely' deep down.
Don't worry about your characters, because they're good :D.
And by the way...
First review of this chapter, yes ! :DAuthor's Response: I'm always glad for that first review because it helps get the ball rolling for everything else. So congrats on that :D.
Phew. Thanks so much for telling me that the characters are good. I've been worried that everything would be seeming kinda random.
~TFM Report Review
First review; proud :D.
Anyhow, at the moment the story is just okay in my opinion. I like the fact that it's from Snape's point of view though. Kudos.
You appreciate constructive criticism hopefully?
Right, so there's a lot of grammatical mistakes, if you're having trouble with grammer then you perhaps could get a beta?
Also, I feel that the story is moving fast. When writing, try adding more detail to the surroundings, describe in detail what the character is seeing, what they're feeling and what they're thinking.
It adds interest to the story.
I hope I've helped.
-Melissa.Author's Response: thanks...i know i probbaly shouldnt have started out with a longer sotry. thanks for the tips ill try doing what you said! Report Review
The chapter song really relates to the chapter.
I like it.
Well done. Report Review
I loved this chapter, so much drama.
You've really captured the character of Draco perfectly.
And for some reason, I really like Blaise; he's something important in this story.
And by the way, is this song Hear Me Now by Framing Hanley?
If so, I love it XD !
I've recognised most of the song titles in your chapter list and have concluded that you have awesome taste in music ;DAuthor's Response: ahaha, why thank you so very much! The song is by Framing Hayley :) The songs inspire the writing, so they all have a different flavor to them. And why thank you, You must have the same awesome taste if you recongize the titles. ; ) Report Review
I liked this. Dark, passionate. Very nice.
Once again, a few grammatical mistakes; for example, 'dears' is spelt 'deers' when speaking of the animal, as you were.
But I am very much enjoying this story :).Author's Response: why thank you so much :) Report Review
Hmm, I liked this.
I haven't read that many Dramione stories, but with this being a horror, I thought, why not.
The description is really good in this, I pictured everything perfectly. The only problem is the grammer; there are a few typo's and a few spelling errors and whatnot.
Otherwise, I really liked this chapter :)Author's Response: why thank you so much for choosing to read this story! And as I'm sure you've heard before, this isn't like all Dramione's, it really isn't. Report Review
I really like this.
I mean, yeah, I'm a fan of Marauder era stories, but they're all the same, the girl meets the boy *usually Sirius* and they fall in love eventually.
I'm actually writing one right now!
But I liked this because it's different.
I haven't read a story with this plot before, I can't guess the outcome.
I would have liked it to be a bit longer, but otherwise, I'm impressed.
Well done ! :)Author's Response: heyy, thanks! I'm glad you like it!
And yes, who doesnt love Sirius! I mean the mans a sex god! I'm glad you like it because its different!! I was worried it would be too cliche!
As it was the first chappy/prolouge thingie this chapter was a bit short but they get longer!
Thanks for reading and reviewing! - Kirsty Report Review
Woah, I like this.
It's different, it's a sexual scene that actually has HUMOUR in it.
Also, who's the girl, the boy? Suppose it could be Sirius or Draco?
What led them to each other, why is it their last ever pie to be shared together?
There's so many things I want to know about this story.
I would LOVE it if you continued with it.
I'm trying to think of something you could do better, as I usually give contructive criticism, yet I don't know what to say, as I liked it all.
Well done ! (:
'Melissa'Author's Response: oh my goodness. wow! i love you! no, because this is my first ever review!!! and you have been so nice to me! and i am not that gushy either, so take that as a compliment, please. you really want me to answer you questions or leave it as a mystery? ooh and can i ask you a question? does it show in the story that english is my second language? thank you! :) Report Review
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