Reading Reviews From Member: peppersweet
  
296 Reviews Found

Review #51, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: And the Award Goes To...

29th May 2013:
Switched from Laura Marling to some truly miserable James Blake piano noodling to reflect how sad I feel on Edie's behalf. Stop torturing her, you heartless author!

I know Lisa wants the best for me. But I don't want to be patted on the cheek and told that my time will come. - YES RIGHT ON EDIE YES YES YES!! You tell Lisa! You tell everyone! Not all women have some 'marriage and babies' instinct! (And now I'm soapboxing too, but even at a considerably younger age than Edie, I get this from my friends too a lot, and it gets my goat)

Edie: The Feminist. I like it a lot! She's the first OC I've come across in a long time who I can wholly identify with, and who feels so, uh...real. Like, I can imagine her being someone I know, if you know what I mean? And I am proud of her politics! Go Edie!

I think I want Rose to take a long walk off a short pier now.

EDIE BETTER TELL BLAKESLEE AND GET ROSE FIRED OK or I will NOT be a happy bunny.

♥ (but I am also raging at everyone because poor wee Edie is so mistreated)

Author's Response: Hahahaha, I'm glad you've found some music that encompasses how awful I'm making Edie's life! It's pretty mean of me, eh?

YES YOU CAN RELATE TO EDIE YES YES YES This makes me so happy. Seriously. I just want her to be real. And I was concerned that nobody would be able to relate to her because I (rather foolishly) assumed that everyone else my age had quit reading fic, and that all the readers would be much much younger. I don't mean that in a sense that younger people can't relate to older characters and vice-versa, but I was afraid that it wouldn't "hit home" because nobody would be in Edie's life situation.

♥ to you too!


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Review #52, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: Bad Publicity

29th May 2013:
Nooo Edie *claws at her* nooo. The girl can't catch a break, can she? Edieee.

Oliver needs to be pelted with rotten turnips. And Rose. And the guy that owns the pub. I am NOT HAPPY WIT YA, OLIVER. You're no doin' yer country proud, laddie. *Aggressively Highland Flings into next section*

This is where the hipsters come die. Or at least to wax philosophical, with their Dragonskine notebooks, I decide. - this is where I belong.

I am actually feeling so much rage towards Rose right now I'm starting to exhibit physical symptoms. Fists clenching and unclenching. Teeth grinding. Brow furrowing. Furrowing like a well-tilled field.

If life doesn't pick up for Edie soon I might defenestrate myself (don't panic, I'm on the ground floor).



Author's Response: ROTTEN TURNIPS YES. Or maybe a Mandrake, as I see no difference between the two (at least visually.) I DONT KNOW WHAT I HIGHLAND FLING IS BUT IT SOUNDS AWESOME IS THAT LIKE THROWING A LOG OR SOMETHING I HOPE SO

Heeheee! Maybe you are the witch with the septum piercing, then, who nods at Edie :P As in that's what I'm going to choose to believe from now on.

GURL HOLD ON DONT HURT YOURSELF. I know Rose is a total jerk, but I need you alive and well to write more lovely fic! And make awesome fanmixes!


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Review #53, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: Mother/Matchmaker

29th May 2013:
Blasting 'Master Hunter' by Laura Marling whilst I read this, it somehow seems like a fitting song for Edie!

Just a wee typo I noticed - 'I can't even imagine how he's fairing right now' should be faring, as opposed to fairing. Also, just a wee nitpick, but I can't imagine Oliver saying 'wotcher' - it's supposedly a cockney phrase, and one I've never heard in scotland! This is the most minor thing ever to nitpick about, but I imagine he'd say something like 'Alright, Edie?' instead.

I secretly hope Oliver's going to be the one to expose Rose and get Edie the credit she deserves for her writing. Come on Olvier, do me proud!

Can I be really cruel and nitpick over one more thing? Sometimes, your chapters kind of flip-flop between events - like, in this chapter, going from Edie waking up to her recalling the events of the night before. Maybe it's because I read a wee bit too quick, but sometimes I have to go back like, what, is this the same scene? I don't know why I'm bringing this up, because I don't really have an 'answer' for it, but the non-linear way sections are arranged confuses me sometimes. But it doesn't detract from the story at all! I'm really enjoying reading this.

Jae seems nice! Oh dear, Edie's mum. Oh dear. She sounds like the sort of person I'd looove to teach me art...

Heh, I like the jibe about House Elf Lib being like veganism! (No disrespect to vegans generally, only the trendy vegans of tumblr...)

Argh, Edie's mother's already annoying me too! (I've been quite the spiteful little madam in my past few reviews, sincerest apologies). I'm nowhere near Edie's age, but I get so much chat from my Dad, of all people, about marrying up and giving him grandchildren, and even when I tell people my own age that I'd personally like to settle down late and focus on a career first, they always give me this patronising little 'ah, but every woman wants children, you'll be married soon, you see,' AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR THEIR HEADS OFF. So, poor, poor Edie. I can empathise!

Go eat that doughnut, Edie, you deserve it.



Author's Response: NO THANK YOU. I am seriously, like, terrified of sounding fake-European. Which obviously I am, and the story is going to sound a bit off. But I am so afraid of Edie sounding like this offensive charactature of a British person, like 'OH BLIMEY FISH AND CHIPS TEA AND CRUMPETS THE LIFT AND THE LORRY!' (Okay so that was really offensive, and obviously I don't think that British people sound like that whatsoever, but you get the point.) Anyway, thank you for pointing that out, it was not nitpicking at all. Please feel free to continue to do so, if you notice anything else wrong!

Gah, yeah, also the flip-flopping is a problem. I've never written in the present-progressive tense before, and am still trying to work out the kinks! It's difficult, because sometimes I want Edie to be recalling something from earlier that day, or the previous night, whilst doing something else. But I guess I need to work on making it sound more realistic? I just really hate the use of the ~*~Flashback~*~. I am adding this to the list of things to continue working on ;D Please don't feel nitpicky, you're being so helpful. And I really admire your writing, so it's nice to hear your opinion.

Oh gurl. Don't worry, Hypatia is supposed to be annoying as you-know-what. She's based on my own mother, bless her, or at least one aspect of her. So it was really easy for me to make her annoying xD

DONUT. ♥


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Review #54, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: Hell Hath No Fury like Rose Zeller Scorned

29th May 2013:
Lisa has done absolutely nothing to make me hate her but her life is just so perfect and pretty that I'm starting to hate her too. Count of characters I like in this story: 3. Edie, Dean, and Seamus. Everyone else: either too perfect (Lisa), a git (Oliver), or just plain unloveable (Rose). I think I'm possibly just a bitter old miser. And I'm rooting for Edie more than anything, so I'm predisposed to hate anyone who seemingly has a better life than her.

It seems that she's been reading too many of those Gwendolyn Phire: Witch Detective mystery paperbacks that I've noticed on her desk. (As far as I can tell, every installment in the thirty-book series is just another excuse for gratuitous smut followed by, "Oh, wait, right. We're supposed to be looking for that fellow's wallet.") - this line made me laugh so loud and so heartily that for a few terrifying moments I was in danger of bathing myself in scalding tea. But you'll be no doubt pleased to find out that I managed to salvage both mug and myself, and am ready to read on.

Rose. roSE. ROOOSE. YOU ARE NOW THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. She's not even wholly hateable! She's just...I don't like her!!! (Sorry for all the exclamation marks, but I feel quite passionately about this)

Cheerleading for Edie's success in journalism over here! ♥

Author's Response: Heeheee! No harm in hating Lisa. I happen to love her but I can see exactly why somebody would find it difficult to be around her for long. Her life really is too perfect--but my friend who I based her on was nice enough to make up for it ;D I'm glad that you like the Golden Trio of this story! Even if you find Oliver to be a big ol' git.

YEESSS *fist pump* I laughed so, so, SO hard at so many things in Blunderland, I can't even explain how happy it makes me that you almost scalded yourself. (Well that just sounds rude.)

I'm so glad you said "not wholly hateable." I didn't want her to be this two-dimensional, rotten-to-the-core villain. She has her flaws, and she's got a horrible way of dealing with stress and her insecurities. But she is a person somewhere! (Deep, deep, DEEP down in there.)

Yay journalism success! Don't worry, it's entirely short-lived, just like all fun things in her life :P


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Review #55, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: Lessons in Chemistry

29th May 2013:
Heee, I like that Edie's using an extendable ear! Definitely one of the best things JKR came up with.

AAARGH I WANT TO PULL AN UNFORGIVEABLE ON ROSE HOW DARE SHE BLITHELY JUST ACCEPT CREDIT FOR EDIE'S WORK!!! RAAAGE!!!

Sorry, I get a bit exclamation-mark happy when I'm angry.

Fate just keeps throwing Oliver and Edie together in the most intriguing ways.

He seems genuinely okay in this chapter. But I'm still side-eyeing him. I'm watching ya, Ollie. Nae funny business.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND YOUR CLIFFHANGERY ENDINGS *claws at own face*

Poor Edie, that's all I'm going to say!



Author's Response: Yay Extendable Ear! At first I had her pressing her ear to the keyhole. But then I was all, "Naw, that's what a Muggle would do."

I just laughed too hard at "pull an Unforgiveable." What do you think the odds are that I can drop that into everyday conversation without getting weird looks?

Oh man, yeah, there is definitely a lot of the WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! trope in the beginning of this story. Sometimes you've just gotta embrace a good ol-fashioned cliche.

(PS I'm going to make Oliver say "nae" now because you say it a lot and you're, liek, Scottish and stuff???)


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Review #56, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: A Very Brief Foray into Journalism

29th May 2013:
Typical Edie; using Finnegan's Wake to prop up her writing desk.

I like the magical typewriter idea! One of the biggest challenges for we lowly HP fic writers, I think, is having to 'invent' magic, so to speak. Like, having to transfigure our own muggle objects into magic ones. I often forget/struggle to include magic in my stories (it's a serious issue) so I really appreciate it when I read a fic that takes time to describe magical objects, like this typewriter!

Ugh Oliver you are so hard to like. As much as I care about the aesthetics of the Knight Bus...as Ron Weasley once sort of said, (s)he needs to sort out (his) priorities.

I'm interested to find out how Oliver got into this ~state~; he always struck me in the books as being, well, possibly a bit tactless, but very much a do-gooder, go-getter kinda guy. It's a little sad to see him as an alcoholic - I'm not criticising your take on the character at all, what I mean is that I'm really intrigued to find out what his life has been like between Hogwarts and now! Your take on him so far is really interesting - he's been very unlikeable these past few chapters, but you can sort of sense that it might be a front. I just want to solve the mystery of Mr Wood (and I'm sure Edie will, but in a wholly journalistic way)

Also, I like how political Edie is. An! OC! With! Strong! Opinions!! It's perfect!!! She's a wonderful character. Oooh I do like her a lot.

And I still hate Rose. She's really taking Edie for granted, and generally just seems quite...spiteful? I hope Edie gets credit for her article in the end.

Cliffhanger!!



Author's Response: I am the worst English major ever, and can add Finnegan's Wake to the list of literature I've never glimpsed at. I'd imagine Edie is the same way; she probably bought it because she heard it was THE ULTIMATE BOOK TO FINISH, like The Fountainhead, or Atlas Shrugged, and wanted to look all intellectual and cool. And now look at her! Using it as a table-wedge. What a loser :P

Gah, I was so worried about the magical typewriter. I agree with you; it's really hard to insert magical devices, especially when they are so blatantly based off a Muggle one. But we see them in the HP films (at least items like cameras in GoF and gramophones in PoA) and kind of want to believe they are canon, even though JKR mentioned that electronics don't work near Magic... UNLESS BEA HAS FINISHED THE PROTOTYPE

Kekekekekeke. I really hate Oliver at the beginning of this story too. Like, so much. Sometimes I meet strangers and think UGH I HATE YOU and realize it's because they're exactly this type of person. Hopefully the Mr. Darcy Effect will go smoothly, and eventually people will begin to be able to stand him ;3

Ohhh my GAHD I have this really long, drawn out biography that, like, gets down into his dang psyche and everything and explains why he is the way he is. I kind of want to put it on my tumblr or something, just to be like GUISE LOOK WHAT I DID but there are too many spoilers. And I'm so dilusional that I think there are people who would be seriously upset if they read KC&CO spoilers, hehe.

EDIE LIKES YOU TOO. And Lucy. And also Flora. I think they would all get on swimmingly! ♥


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Review #57, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: An Interview with Mister Wood

29th May 2013:
Dean and Seamus are awesome. I love a good bromance in a fic! I also like the idea of Seamus being a, er, big fan of Oliver. I really hope they meet at some point, purely for the priceless reaction Seamus will surely come out with. (And I also appreciate that Edie has a bro-lationship with Dean. I kind of hope it stays that way for the rest of this story - I know I write it all the time, but the 'male best friend turns a couple into a love triangle' thing can be a bit...ehhh. And I like Dean a lot :3 )

Oh Oliver. You are not a classy lad (yet).

Also: Oh Edie, you sassy madam. Write that exposing exposee!

Looking forward to the next one! ♥

Author's Response: Seamus is quite the Oliver-fan, isn't he? I guess I'm not making him very canon; or at least canon to the fandom's version of Seamus. Apparently a lot of people are portraying him as quite dark and put-upon after the War (which is an entirely understandable way to be.) And I like Dean too! He seems to be the only reasonable one, though a bit possessive.

Hahaha, no, classy is definitely not the word I would use for Oliver. Especially not in this chapter.

Thanks again!


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Review #58, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: The Proposition

29th May 2013:
I read this chapter about five centuries ago but I've only come to review now (I am a horrible, horrible person, forgive me).

Before I actually leave you a coherent review I wanted to mention something I read about the other day...apparently there's this new genre of fiction called NA fiction, as in New Adult; stories written with a protagonist between the ages of 18 and 25 that deal with, uh, 18 to 25 year old issues like flatshares and getting your foot on the employment ladder and writing exposees about Oliver Wood. I reckon that's the genre I read and write the most, but finding out about it reminded me of your story first! I'm so glad stuff like this exists on HPFF; there's a distinct lack of loveable protagonists who are my age in published fiction, and so it's marvy that there are people like Edie I can read about online who ~speak to me~ more. Thank you for dreaming her up!

I know who Viktor Krum really is because I've read ahead, so I'll withhold most of my capslocking comments for now but SWEET JESUS POOR WEE EDIE.

I love that the first exclamation Edie thinks of is 'FATHER CHRISTMAS'. I may start using that meself. It's a bit less, uh, offensive than what would usually spring to my tongue.

I. Do. Not. Like. Rose. GAARRGHR. EdieEdieEdieNo don't do it DON'T DO IT. Well obviously I want her to talk to Oliver and woo him with her charm but I DON'T WANT HER TO GET SCREWED OVER BY ROSEEE.

Marvy chapter ♥ and on to the next one!

Author's Response: HOLY GOD NINE JULIA-REVIEWS ARE YOU EVEN SRS RIGHT NOW I AM SCREAMING

OOoooh, I like the sound of NA fiction! It seems appropriate, as "they" (whoever "they" are) are now raising the age of adolescent to something like 30 years old, because so many people are being forced to move back in with their parents due to the economy. I'm so happy that you find this story, and Edie's plight, relatable. That was one of the most important things for me in writing this; I wanted readers to know that it's okay to be in such a situation, and that it's totally normal!

Yes! Father Christmas! It was just the first thing that popped into my (coffee-saturated) brain. I feel like it's time to bring it back for a reprise, in a later chapter... ;3

Thanks so much for ALL OF THESE REVIEWS HAVE I MENTIONED HOLY GOD WOW ♥


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Review #59, by peppersweetThe Fluttery Whimsy: Awkward People

23rd May 2013:
eee update!

I read this on A Mobile Device (capitalised for effect) whilst hurtling the length of Britain on a train, so I'm back to reread properly and review, reading it on a nice big laptop screen this time. Speaking of laptops, I can really emphasise with Greta. I can barely go three hours without wifi. It's been worse since I upgraded from a nokia brick to an phone that does internet; I'm a bit of an addict. I highly doubt I'd last long in the wizardy world.

Lily's a wee bit creepy. Like Greta, I also awkwardly pat people on the back when I hug them. /I think I'm trying to identify with your OC too much.

There was an argument going on in the sitting room. Greta wasn't sure if it was about a game or the cleaning because they were talking about teams but all holding broomsticks. - this line made me chuckle!

:( poor Greta! Baww. Wee lamb. I can empathise with her! I am also of the nervy variety. I'm glad she found Albus to snuggle against (and that he listened to her). I like that angle you've taken on Albus as well, he did seem like a bit of a quiet chap in the epilogue and the way you've written him really fits with that mental image of him. He seems so sweet! Also, you're really messing with my shipping feels now. Greta/Hugo or Greta/Albus? I don't even know anymoreee. GRUGO OR GRALBUS?!?

I really like the way this is written. It's so gentle and sweet and the word choices are really simple - in a good way! - but it feels like you've taken time and care and really thought about each one. It's one of those fics that sort of creeps up on you in a lovely way, sort of like waves lapping at the shore. Wow, that sounded pretentious! In a nutshell, this was a marvy chapter, I love this fic, please update soon! ♥

Author's Response: I'm glad you identify with my OC, there's no such thing as too much. Unless of course you start calling yourself Greta and wearing horse t-shirts and mismatched socks. Then I would be a bit worried. But still very flattered.

Glad you liked the Quidditch bit too. I was originally going to feature Quidditch a lot more, but when that didn't end up happening, I figured I could still sneak a line or two in. Probably the most fun part of this fic is trying to see how the wizarding world would look to an outsider :D

Yes! You like Albus! -dances- I am very happy about that because Albus has always been a weird area for me in next generation fanfiction. I feel like there are so many directions to play with, and many that have already been played with extensively, so I wanted to make him kinda unique but not in an obnoxious way. If that makes sense. And I wanted him to be true to his epilogue self, if mostly to emphasise that he's still a bit immature :P

I shall never stop messing with the shipping feels. You should feel very violated.

Word choice is a pretty big thing in this story. Half the time when I'm re-reading my chapters I just have to go back and make it sound more... Greta :P The idea was that she uses simple worlds because she likes simple things. She just wants her laptop and rabbit and tea, no messes. And I really wanted her voice to come through about all that.

Your reviews are marvy as well, and so is your heart, which I shall attempt to steal in a very creepy way ♥

But I don't think it's working. Fiddlesticks. REVEAL YOUR SECRETS.


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Review #60, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: The Job Thousands would Kill For

22nd April 2013:
Hello again! I am currently reading on A Mobile Device (capitalised for effect) So please excuse the shortness of this review or any spelling or grammatical errors herein.

something I forgot to comment on in your last chapter. The bit about Edie buying dean the quill was so sweet but also so very relatable; I'm an art student meself and the degree practically requires you to sell your granny to buy course materials. At one point I was spending 30 a week. That's six whole Galleons.

I liked Edie's feminist inclinations in this chapter! Her frustration at not getting to write about what she wants makes me ;A;

Also appreciating the way you've written her internship. So realistic. I spent much of today applying for jobs and in one drastic moment I almost put 'excellent tea-making skills' on my CV because that's all work experience ever really taught me.

really enjoying this story so far :3

Author's Response: Hello again! I wish I had A Mobile Device which allowed me to read HPFF... there would be so much more time!

The bit with the quill came from my best friends being art majors. Not only were they stuck in the studio for hours a week (on top of other, non-art classes) but they were just hemorrhaging money!

Yes! I feel that feminism really needs to be brought forward on HPFF, especially after that whole April Fool's debaucle.

Hahahha, "tea-making skills." Seriously though, it's so hard to get good experience when they only want you to do the grunt-work. I actually left my last internship because it went from researching/compiling information for exhibition guides to distributing event flyers around town. Womp.

I'm so glad you like this story!! Yay! ♥


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Review #61, by peppersweetKeep Calm and Carry On: Take Two and Call Me in the Morning

22nd April 2013:
I've been meaning to read this story for so long! I keep seeing it pop up on recently added and I've always gone 'oh, yeah, I should check that out someday' but I never got around to it...until today. I'm excited to start this knowing that you also wrote The Wild, which is one of the fics on this site I've liked forever.

I enjoyed this opening chapter and I really like the characters you've introduced so far - Edie's a lovely narrator and Seamus and Dean sound like a hoot! I feel like a lot of people, myself included, attempt this sort of post-school story about young friends boozing, flatsharing and occasionally working, and it so often falls flat - here it didn't; it's written really well and the characters already seem so natural and real.

The only thing I'd say is that this chapter, at times, felt like a bit of an information dump - it was a lot of Edie's internal narration about her friends, introducing them one by one, which comparatively little action. But I think you're a bit too far into the story now to work on that, haha!

Really great opener and I'm looking forward to reading the rest! :D ♥

Author's Response: AAHHH. I am so excited you read this! Fa real, I like your stories quite a lot.

And ohhh yes, the information dump :c Trust me, you're not the first person to mention it. I think it was the result of getting inspired for this story, not being sure how to start it off for WEEKS, and then churning out the first chapter in one go. I got so excited to post it that I didn't even have the second chapter written, where I could totally have spread out some of this information, haha. When the story is complete, that's one of my top priorities for editing... I'll be able to disperse it into the story a bit more easily.

Thanks so much for your review! I'm so flattered that you think it's believable (and, oh, that you like The Wild, which will always be my baby.)

♥!


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Review #62, by peppersweetBreak Me: Lucy

21st April 2013:
oh, god, Helen, WAAAIL.

This was amazing. Seriously, one of the best fics I've read here in a long time. I'm so glad someone chose to write about this issue, and I'm so glad it was you, and I'm so glad you've written it the way you have. It's not something that's easy to write about and the way it's so stigmatised in society means that, even if you write about it, there's still that fear of discussing it with people and opening up the conversation to the world (I know, I've tried) and ARGH YOU'RE MY HERO RIGHT NOW.

This is a personal topic for me and the way you've written it was just excellent - relatable and so realistic; my experiences of the internet have taught me that people tend to totally misunderstand & condemn or romanticise self-harm, whereas your fic is unjudgemental and represents both the feelings of the sufferer and the - dare I say it - ignorance? of the people around her (well, not so much ignorance, but sympathy and pain without a real understanding). I like the way the italicsed flashbacks moved seamlessly with the discussion with her family - I liked that you presented her family asking 'why?' and then her answer in the form of a memory, whilst Lucy never really makes those memories explicit to her family. Kind of emphasises the difficulties in overcoming it.

The only thing I'd really criticise is a few spelling and grammatical errors here and there - 'drawer' was repeatedly misspelled as 'draw', which stuck out to me. But seriously it does not detract from the 500% certified amazingness of this fic.

Thank you so much for writing this ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Helllo Julia!

This was a pretty personal topic for me too and it was one that I really wanted to write about, but also one that I was reaaallly scared to write about too (because of all the reasons you listed and more - it's such a... wowsensitive topic), so I'm really REALLY glad that you well... not liked it, but, that I didn't mess up completely I guess.

Its a really difficult thing to talk about and, usually, some of the responses aren't something the family/others necessarily want to hear about. This was written fairly speedily, so I'm not surprised there's a couple of mistakes. I'll be sure to go back and edit soon. Thank you for the lovely review! :)

-Helen


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Review #63, by peppersweetNot Normal: {Chapter the First}

19th April 2013:
Hey, I'm here from review tag!

I was drawn to this one by the bright banner and I think you've done well to establish a lighter tone in the first few paragraphs, especially given that opening line and the subject matter! You're dealing with heavy issues without them seeming heavy and that's quite refreshing.

Ellie's gift is really interesting and unusual. It's a lovely starting point for the story and the passage about Ellie's mother dying makes her gift seem even sadder.

One thing I'd like to pick up on is your use of short, single-sentence paragraphs. I think it works well now and again for dramatic (or comedic, as it was in the opening) affect, but when it's used throughout the entire chapter it can disrupt the flow. Some of the chapter, for example, the parts about Ellie's mother's death, could be condensed into a single paragraph. You could still keep the abrupt short sentences, but maybe consider reducing the number of short paragraphs...if that makes sense? The chapter also seems to move quite quickly between the different scenes which is probably to do with this.

And another wee thing I'd like to pick up on - Rose asking Ellie to go to the 'mall' is a bit of an Americanism. Something like 'going to the shops' would sound more natural :) similarly for 'bookstore' - it'd be 'bookshop'. But that's seeeriously nitpicking on my part and I don't think it detracts from your story in any way.

Nice start! Like I said, Ellie's gift is a really interesting thing to work the story from, and I love how you started it with her discovering the gift at a young age instead of explaining it away at a later stage. Good job! ♥

Author's Response: Hello! *waves*

Bright banners are awesome. All credit to the awesome artist! I tried really hard to make this light and humorous because I have this thing about angst. I might make the story a bit darker as we go along, though!

Her gift is sad in that aspect. I plan to explore that later on. She isn't as cool with it as she seems!

Yeah... you're right about the single-sentence paragraphs. I think I was trying to see which writing style would fit best, but I think you make a good point about everything having its place!

I have no idea why I said mall. I've never used the word in real life - I'm Australian. I'll change that when I go back and edit!

Thank you for your lovely review!


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Review #64, by peppersweetThe Fluttery Whimsy: Ginger People

15th April 2013:
I'm like three paragraphs into this story and already terrified because it basically describes my life. I always stalk reblogger blogs! I frequently spend three hours on etsy doing nothing! AND I AM ALWAYS DOING STUFF.

Your summary is ace. I do a daily check of recently added (don't worry, I don't even pretend to have a life) but usually just scroll aimlessly past all the things and then go back to tumblr. This summary made me stop and actually read something for a change! :3

Ooh, I like the idea (if I've got the idea right, hee) of a non-magical person (who shares my love of uninterrupted wifi access) having to go and spend time with magical folk (who do not appreciate the wonders of the internet). It's something I've never read before!

Bigger on the inside! I spy a doctor who reference~

One thing I'd comment on is some of the terms seem a little...off? I can't speak for the entirety of this fine nation seeing as I'm a mad Scottish git but I feel like 'rooming' is an odd term - Hugo saying 'You're staying with my sister' seems a bit more...natural. Also, the bit where Astrid says they're heading for West Sussex seems a bit odd too - I think it's more likely she'd name the town than the county. Although I'm not sure I've ever been to West Sussex so for all I know it could be the norm to refer to it as West Sussex as all times. If I were me, I wouldn't take my own advice.

A sour look returned. 'It's outside the back. Didn't fancy carrying it anymore. Nasty hill, innit?' / 'You're telling me,' he said with a snort. - and with this tiny exchange I am shipping Greta and Hugo forEVERRR

Lovely start and a really enjoyable read! Looking forward to an update! ♥

Author's Response: WOW. WOW I LOVE YOU. Alright, this'll be weird, I already know. But I can't contain the WOW. Seriously, Starving Artists was half the inspiration for this fic. And by that I mean, well, I just absolutely loved Lucy and her character development and how real it all was and that's what I wanted to do with Greta. Honest, I was so obsessed with that fic that I had to watch Skins just because I wanted to see Hannah Murray's acting so I could better visualise Lucy and see her movements and facial expressions as I was reading. Having done that, I re-read Starving Artists. Twice. You are pretty much the reason I joined HPFF, so I could favourite your stories and follow everything better and just... yeah.

*cough* Okay, my fangirling is all done now. Well alright, that's 100% a lie, but it's done for the moment.

GAH.

Alright, so there's obviously a bunch of random stuff I have to ramble about now in response to this most brilliant review, but I'm going to start with YES IT WAS A DOCTOR WHO REFERENCE. Couldn't help it :P

As for the terms, I'm glad you mentioned all that, cause my terms are definitely funny. Half of them are chiefly British terms and the other half chiefly American, due to the fact that I was raised both places. So basically it means neither the British nor Americans will be able to understand it, which is pretty much my life (moment of deepest sympathy, please. I belong nowhere. Cry for me). Which is a little less than spectacular. But I'm trying to get rid of all the mostly American terms, because this fic is trying very hard to be British.

Of course, for the West Sussex bit, mostly I was just being lazy. I figured it would be easier to describe the weather and surroundings for a county than a specific town. I am slightly paranoid that someone will live in that town and read this and go IT'S NOT LIKE THAT HERE. Like in Forks for Twilight. (I hope the fact that I know random Twilight trivia doesn't affect your opinion of this story.) But I should just pick a town and have done with :P

Wow that's all it took to ship Greta/Hugo? But I have so many more tiny exchanges planned!

In (sort of) conclusion to this review response of most absurd length, I thank you for taking the time to leave one of these little things (especially because yeah I never did ahem but I WILL CHANGE MY WAYS eventually probably).

And I'm glad you like the summary. I edited it about a million times (and I'll bet you're amazed that after all that, it still includes ponies).


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Review #65, by peppersweetetc. etc. (and life goes on): Bare-Knuckled Heartbreaking

24th March 2013:
I swear to Glob that this is one of the best things you've ever written. Having been with it from the start, having proofread it since the year 2009 or whatever, I've fallen in love with this chapter more and more, and everytime you've sent it to me and I've got to relive it has been super duper special and whatnot.

Sentimentality over - but seriously, no wonder you're a Rainicorn from the Crystal Dimension in me and Lily's fantasy Land of Ooo. You are majestic and you say things to us in Rainicorn Korean that we don't understand but we just sit and appreciate your majesty like the bottom feeders we are (the angst will never end, it's misadventure time).

Okay, this chapter is just a real stoater.

I've waxed lyrical enough about this on skype for you to know the sum of my feelings about it (and boy do I have a lot of feelings about this). The way you handled Clemence's reaction to ~the morning after~ and wrote her narration is so perfectly done. It's sharp and realistic and doesn't go off into the realms of fluff and sugar - there's no mooning over Albus' orbs and whatnot, and she's so...pragmatic! The way you've written her, and all your cast, here is just so so so lovely and so inkeeping with how you've written them so far. Okay I don't think that makes sense so tl;dr your characterisation is perfect.

Anyway. I just love this story so much. Please feel free to bombard me with more (MOAR) previews and such on skype~

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: OH MY GLOB HAY JULIA. I enjoy you and lily's lovingly snide remarks about my update speed. I WOULD NOT HAVE MADE IT HERE WITHOUT YOU TWO. And you and your kind words ;-; SO MANY OF THEM asfdkagn. I am always crey. Creying in Korean that even I don't understand and boxes, because you can't display Korean characters.

I had to look up stoater. I thought you meant like, stoat... beer.

I'VE NEVER HAD TO WRITE SO MANY CHARACTERS INTO ONE CHAPTER It was a doozy. It's one thing to write a morning after starring Albus' orbs and another starring Scorpius' orbs hurrr. Sexytimes is actually very pragmatic in RL, but I never see it in fiction??? But uh, that's probably the extent I can say without being totally awkward in a review box.

♥ ALWAYS.


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Review #66, by peppersweetinvictus.: friday: part two

9th February 2013:
wail. WAIL.

this story is giving me overpowering feels but I have not winced nor cried aloud

(I might have done an anguished sigh or two)

Scorpius can play and talk. Albus cannot listen and play. - i think this is some cool character development you know but, well, I think you know from logs that my mind is not in an analytical place tonight. but I have braced myself for this chapter and i am DYING to read it because you write like a flawless queen, turtle princess

you are aUTHOR PRINCESS

who is pacing behind rose? oh mystery

I think when molly observes that rose is stressed about the prank - that's a kind of hit-the-nail-on-the-head line, i guess? because, before, you've used the juxtaposition of rose's mental torment/absurdity & mundanity to key us in to her actual mental state, and here it's like...shown into sharp relief. Rose is a big lumpy (space princess) glob of emotions and grief, and - molly is just like 'stressed about the prank?'. like, the word 'prank' sounds so out of place.

and...yeah, no, I'm not very good at being analytical tonight.

but I feel like with rose...she'll turn the most basic/random of things into poetry. like, her internal narration is so sturm and drang and stuff, and it's really discordant with what the other characters say and do - in a good way - like Rose mentally soliloquising as albus just pops up like 'hey you two need chow'

you are a goddess

Peeves has tooted out a small tune to me, and I retaliate with a wordless screech, pulling on my hair. - LIKE OMG THIS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE

oh ho HO

things are going down!

I like that someone's vocalising these thoughts about rose. I've been getting very caught up in her narration of late and it's even making me mistrust albus and molly a bit, even though I plainly shouldn't

thats why writing is such a dangerous hobby. Its a one-way conversation - I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A METAPHOR FOR ROSE OR SOMETHING

squee at the author's note :3

UPDATE SOON PLZ

Author's Response: JULES ♥ I'm going to try to answer this as well as I can hahierhuer. I already let you know about my difficulties interpreting but there are apparently two sides of angst and they're more different than I'd anticipated.

aUTHOR PRINCESS is the best compliment.

I like that you always pick up on small details that I sometimes write without understanding fully myself; the spectre pacing. I interpret it, after I've written it (sobs), as her conscience. Does that work with how you read it? hOPE SO

Yes, Rose is a glob and Molly's like, urh, what's a glob? And so she tries to deal with it the way that she can though she already knows at this point that Rose and Percy are in on something so in a way she's trying to make it smaller so /she/ has less to worry about, too. But yeah, I'd never said straight-out that it was a "prank" before but I felt like, ho ho, here's a moment of absurdity that I'm going to play up.

I love your analysis, raggedy doll princess :3

Rose is so so absorbed into her own world and it's the be-all-end-all for her so she sees strange beauty in things and makes things about it beautiful, but she also can contort to other peoples' realities when she wants to, which is part of what makes her so frustrating, because when you see it you KNOW that she could clean herself up and get help if she wanted to, but she just doesn't want to, and that's her biggest, perhaps, problem.

I love the idea of someone dishing it back to Peeves. Rose's insanity allows me to do this without it being like what?? I mean, it's a bit of that, but not...I'm gonna stop now.

Part of my main goal with this fic was to have it give a reader an emotional response. I wanted to make someone as a character who makes you sympathetic with her own brand of charm but who is realistically messed up, too, because I think that Rose's an exploded version of all of us in those ways.

I realize now that I haven't made writing that prevalent in the last couple chapters because the letters stopped being that important. I'd tried to jam them in here but NOPE the story didn't allow it. i'm going to have a cheater chapter later--you'll see. And when I edit I want to make some more things consistent. A lot of emotional impact of a certain scene earlier in the story depends on you understanding that Rose's writing is super important to her, but right now, it's taking a back seat.

THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS UR DA BEAST

YES I MEANT IT THAT WAY ♥


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Review #67, by peppersweetinvictus.: friday: part one

3rd February 2013:
WAIL BECAUSE INVICTUS AND WAIL BECAUSE ANGST.

we have shared so much angst in the past week or so that it seems very fitting I should be reading this. thank you for updating, oh mighty lilyeth~

okay, okay, despite saying okay twice (and now thrice) this line is NOT OKAY:
"Poppy," you said, because we were on first-name terms, "Poppy, please, give her something, put her to sleep, give her a dreamless. What do I do? Put her to sleep, put me to sleep."
do you WANT me to feel things like I felt just then? seriously. that line's a punch in the gut.

I feel like there's a marked difference in Rose from chapter to chapter. when I say marked, I make it sound like it's obvious...it's actually very subtle, but I can sense it, and she feels a bit more unravelled in this chapter than she's done before.

so Scorpius was at the funeral? I'm aching to figure out exactly what's gone on here - how and why Rose witnessed Hermione and Hugo's death, why Scorpius can see (or part-see?) thestrals, etc, etc.

and Scorpius. mowh. I want to gather him up in my arms and hug him.

I like what you said about the applause at the funeral being partly selfish on everyone's part - I think? how they applaud for themselves, and how they possibly feel grief in more of a selfish way because of Hermione's fame, etc. I'm not clever enough to do some anaylsis wizardry here but that line really resonated with me for some reason.

'Dom catches my eye past your shoulder. I do not see her; just the aura of your heat, and what it does to me.' we share in angst and I understand this so well and...FEELS.

also, when Rose says the last time she cried herself to sleep - before everything fell apart. before, not after. I am making a note of this because I feel like it's important (and I bet I'm way off the mark).

and I love her description of Scorpius being asleep. she finds pretty things in the gormless mouth and the squished cheek and the half-moustache.

(momentary snort: Rose's eyebrows were the topic of one of her first conversations with Scorpius.)

I think I partly love this story because it works with my headcanon so well. you've subverted so many things in a very beautiful and natural way - Rose and Scorpius, for instance. here she's a little unhinged with a lot of secrets and an allegience to Percy; he's the sweet and shiny one. it fits how I imagine them, but in a fresh way, and they feel like totally new, totally revolutionary characters. I just love this fic in so many ways I cannot express~

I feel like Rose might underestimate Scorpius too much and this may come back to bite her in the backside (so to speak) soon. the bit where she says he won't have charmed his stuff and it'll be easy to summon things - that especially. I may just be reading into things again but OH WELL.

(that ahem was totally umbridge back for vengeance o k)

thestrals!!! I feel a bit tense now. I've even stopped eating this satsuma so I can concentrate on reading.

('and Professor Professor has entered the classroom' - is this a typo or...? because it reminds me of community when jeff makes up a conspiracy theories class taught by professor professerson and yeah.)

'Once, before we knew each other well, I used to will myself to feel for you. I considered your profile one day realising your presence procured no reaction in me, and wished fervently for the strange visceral twisting I knew to accompany obsession, and wished for them at every thought of you. - guhhh so beautiful.

I have to say I was a wee bit confused by the introduction of James and 'work' at the end - I think it was a flashback, right? aarrgh. I think I'm too wound up in angst to concentrate!

this was another perfect chapter, lovely! I adore you and stuff ♥

Author's Response: JULIA ♥

Rose's outer world is closer to getting to where she's been planning it to go for the whole story--she's really close to the break in and retrieving the letters and even in getting Scorpius to talk to her again (she already got a snog, to be fair), so of course, I have to balance this out by making her a little more cray inside, don't I? That's just what this fic promises.

Scorp. was at the funeral, indeed. I can make that clearer when I go back to edit. It's hard for me to tell what's just in my head and what I've actually put on the page.

And yes, you're reading applause just how I meant it. I meant there to be some irony there, too, because Rose is totally self-absorbed and she's projecting it onto other people, whether or not it's actually true for them.

I think you might be onto something in that she last cried to sleep /before/ stuff got horrible with her and Scorpius; but I don't know if I was ever planning to explain it properly so I'm glad you brought it up haha. I wrote it because after stuff went wrong between them Rose was just on a mission to get it right again for her own good and was writing to Scorpius like a madwoman (more letters to come in the next chapter) and also had Percy at her ear telling her to get her stuff together, so she's never gotten to the point of processing her grief. She hasn't even acknowledged it. I think her first reaction to the news was to feel guilty for distracting Mum and Hugo right before they got, well, killed, and she thinks it's her fault, so she gets jumpy every time someone mentions them, more than the average person does when something just hurts. So she's still in this phase of protecting herself. She didn't get the "poison" out and it's ruining her life. Also Scorpius's probably bc he still loves her, in a way.

Scorpius is definitely going to be a physical presence in the next chapter. I'd pre-written one of the scenes half a year ago and I've done a bit of hemming and hawing on it to try to fit it to the plot I actually wrote (which has deviated wildly from the plot I planned). Someone who you aren't expecting is going to get hurt. You are a perceptive reader is all I'm going to say... :3

I feel--this may be tmi but deal with it, you've heard worse from me--like this fic stems vividly from personal feelings, so, I always feel like the person I'm enamored with is better and a good person and I'm this little leetch on society who has no right to consider a togetherness; so this fic stems both from my hopes and from me facing up to facts about myself. I don't know, I may be looking for answers. Maybe a conclusion to this story can be two birds with one stone.

Thestrals are my way of rooting the story in people's hidden feelings. Addae has been somewhat obviously on a mission but this is the one real curiosity he has about Rose, something he organically just wants to know, and so he acts like a decent human when he realizes he's overstepped his boundaries and leaves Rose alone. Scorpius saw Rose at the verge of jumping off the astronomy tower and he's seen how she's "dead" since, so, whenever he encounters the Thestrals he imagines that he's going to see him. He feels like he's witnessed enough to garner at least a glimpse. I think I'm going to have Rose explain in real words how she saw her fam die bc it is not clear at this point and I don't think it needs to stay a mystery...

Professor Professor was originally a typo but Rachel told me to keep it. And I did.

Yes, it was a flashback! I tried with questionable success to root the scene in time with "after I'd convinced myself it was good to love you" or whatever I wrote. I'll do it more concretely. I'm realizing there are things that are questions that DON'T NEED TO BE QUESTIONS and it's my fault for not writing it better, but this story is such a boiling cauldron inside of me that I forget what ingredients I've already added, if you will.

♥ I ADORE /YOU/


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Review #68, by peppersweetAnd Capers Ensue: The Great Escape

28th January 2013:
THINGS THAT ARE NOT OKAY
1. Scorpius and Bea are trapped
2. Emeric and Cato exist
3. Draco is dead
4. Scorpius has been roughed up
5. Bea's invention has been repurposed with malicious intent
6. Will Franjali ever don mackintoshes?!?
7. It has been TOO DAMN LONG since we saw potterpuff
8. this entire chapter basically

THINGS THAT ARE OKAY
1. Scorbeaus

In a nutshell because I've already poured my heart out to you about this on skype: warghblarghargharaghrghahahhh

Excuse me while I sail this Scorbeaus ship into the sun.

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: But you see Scorpius counts for 9 things SO THE OKAY SIDE WINS OUT.

Also appreciation that you appreciate beat-up Scorpius because that is egregious emotional manipulation that I have wanted to dish out for like forever ♥


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Review #69, by peppersweetA Thing Called Transference : ego, ii

7th January 2013:
I HAVE BEEN WAITING MANY MOONS FOR THIS. Also the way you use first person plural in your authors notes makes me feel like I have mistakenly wandered into Jeffrey Eugenides does fanfiction. Meta meta.

I love how they all still act a bit like teenagers despite working at the Ministry. Throwing insults and picking dates for the ball and such. You know, while I'm very partial to an angsty, PTSD Draco, I like this one a lot. He's a pretty immature guy. He cannot say stapler. This has become a parallel head canon of sorts. And I feel a bit sorry for Scorpius to be honest.

I lost it at Blaise going 'all right, longbottom!'

Also draco's five o'clock shadow becoming a small beard. I feel like it is a character in itself so you lose twenty house points for not sufficiently developing the character of said small beard. Except I guess going from stubble to beard is character development enough but this is getting a bit weird so I'll stop.

OH MY GOD SCORPIUS IS NAMED AFTER AN OWL I CAN'T. I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO CAN. omg poor boy. Poor wee lad.

The stapler represents hermione! The limit does not exist!

This was amazing. Thank you for the larfs ♥

Author's Response: JOLOO. This is obviously the stuff of meta--I think in a way if you can see metafiction as fiction that makes you think about what it's doing while it does it, then the ridiculousness of this can sort of function that way. Maybe. Yeah?

Yes; this was a really immature chapter and it's the one in which everyone was supposed to have their shaving cream together, you know. To be fair this is probably happening in some three-thousandth dimension.

I'm sorry to have let the house down by not developing the character of the small beard...but there is always tomorrow...

The limit is the line at which readers can be gratified by seeing their two U.S.T.-filled characters unite in lurve. That is the limit.

YOU'RE SO WELCOME. I still remember your review about the mortar and pestle epistle fondly every once in a while and chuckle a bit ♥


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Review #70, by peppersweetA Godlike Science: A Man of Letters

5th January 2013:
Tag!

I love how you've opened this with an Angela Carter quote. She's one of my favourite authors! But that's kind of irrelevant to the story itself so I shall move on to something resembling a review.

How on earth do you fit so much into just 500 words? If I'd written the same thing it would have taken me 5000. It's a real skill to be able to write something neat and concise, and I'm envious of anyone who can do it.

The first time I read it I was a tad confused and I've gone over it a few more times in an attempt to digest it properly. And I love what happens here - it's not clear at first, but I think I've worked out the plot for myself now and it's awesome. I'm a bit hesitant to tell you what I think it's about because, well, I'm almost certain I'll be wrong, and I get the feeling that this is meant to be a bit amibiguous anyway. I feel like it's one of those pieces you have to read and then let stew in the back of your mind for a bit and wait for it to become fully apparent.

The ending's heartbreaking. Well, all 500 words are, really, but the ending especially.

Also, I've got to say that I don't read Marauders often, but now and again I'll read something about them, like this, and it blows me away.

Great job! ♥

Author's Response: Hey!

Angela Carter is one of my favourites, too. You have great taste. :D

So I suppose that's meant to be a rhetorical question, but I'll answer it for you anyway: I cheat. Because my readers are mostly Potterheads, it's the readers that are filling in the character backstories, most of the plot, all that kind of stuff. It can go awfully wrong, so I'm glad it seems to have worked for you. (And I've probably ruined it for you now. Sorry.)

This fic tends to confuse everyone, so sorry 'bout that. But - thank you so much for your wonderful comments! (Your interpretation probably isn't wrong - I tend to go for a more postmodern approach to that kind of thing anyway, because I'm an awful person.)

Once again: thank you so, so much for your lovely review.


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Review #71, by peppersweetBetter Days Than These: There are boys, and then there are boys... and then there is Draco Malfoy.

1st January 2013:
Becoming a true and proper Slytherin didn't happen overnight. - ah, well. Rome wasn't built in a day.

The nasty incident with the shears? Ouch (or should I say FTW?)

The thing about three/two-toed sloths made me cackle like a fool. Never bring a knife to a gunfight, and also, never forget your toe when you are a three-toed sloth. Wise words to live by.

Peony, you are so sweet, but you can be so frustrating, with your perfect tears and your beautiful eyes and your...underthings. The rest of us have to deal with ugly snotty weeping, grey eyes and boring old knickers you know.

Birdhouse cozies! I think Peony needs to consider a career in soft furnishings.

the only figures he seemed interested in walked around in short skirts after classes - snorrrt.

another lovely chapter of loveliness (but I must confess to a deep desire to hit Peony over the head with something blunt at times). I'm looking forward to the unraveling of the mystery, and hopefully a bit more Terence/Peony banter!

p.s Draco is hilarious.

Author's Response: It must be Christmas or something, because you left me another present! You ARE sweet!

I thought about going into detail with those shears, but why explain myself when I can leave it all vague and mysterious??

I'm glad you liked the three-toed sloth humor. That was one thing my beta rolled her eyes at but made me giggle insanely. I guess I'm not the only one.

What horrible thoughts Peony's friends must be having behind her back, talking about her perfectly perfect perfectness all the time. I bet they swipe the "underthings: when she's not noticing, just so they can possess something so grand, if only for a moment. Little did they know that all they have to do is ask, and Peony will probably teach them how to make those wonderfully intricate additions to their own underthings. She has a knack for sewing and crafting and such. haha! I'll mention the "soft furnishings" career to her, but I think she's already got her chosen profession all sorted out.

Go ahead and pick out your favorite blunt object. The desire to use it may become stronger in the next chapter.

Thanks so much for your lovely loveliness and for appreciating the way I characterized Draco in this. I look forward to your future thoughts about Peony!


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Review #72, by peppersweetBetter Days Than These: Pure blood is pure blood, except when it's not and then it's... not.

1st January 2013:
I'm back!~

I just noticed in your last author's note that you were asking us reviewers to point out pop culture references we'd seen - as Abed Nadir, pop culture god of Community, is my spirit animal, I shall take it upon myself to track down said pop culture references and regurgitate them back to you in this wee review box.

I like how the investigation of the house elf's death has to take place for such mundane reasons, haha. And that such a, erm, junior detective has been assigned to the case :P (also, I think Spungen was Draco's surname in one of JKR's initial drafts, a reference to Nancy Spungen, the girlfriend of Sid Vicious. Do I get a point for a pop culture reference?)

Terrence expected the Headmaster to finish with "that will be all", but after an awkward silence with the Headmaster's head buried into his scrollwork, the detective saw himself out. - lolololol. I think it's a legal requirement that everyone in the teaching profession must finish their conversations with 'that will be all'.

And I like how Pansy is like a foil to Peony, being all ugly and spiteful when Peony is graceful. She wears underthings. Not just pants. Underthings. How delicate and proper!

(May I britpick for a second? Here, it's not eggplant - it's aubergine. I've never understood how both countries can speak English and disagree over a simple vegetable but, well.)

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the purebloodiest of them all? (a wee insight into Pansy's internal dialogue there)

Draco, honestly, Peony does not have eyes! She has orbs!

(Another reference! Aside from Spungen, Spinks was another surname JKR was considering for Draco. Knowledge~)

Heh, I like the 'Dumbledore's Army, FTW!'

another awesome chapter dear ♥

Author's Response: Wow, your spirit animal is downright accurate! Congratulations! You might be my only reviewer that noticed both the Spinks and the Spungen reference. Why have one Draco, when we can have three? ;)

I had no idea that Brits had an alter ego fro eggplant. But now I do. In the future, they will all be named aubergine. And you got Pansy's little sweet talk to herself nailed too.

You know, I honestly thought about using the term "orbs" in this story, but with everything else going on, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I can only push things so far before I start feeling uncomfortable... *cough*

Cookies AND brownies for you, since you were so excellent AND you came back for chapter two! I might even throw in whipped topping and a cherry. You were extra sweet. Thanks so much!


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Review #73, by peppersweetThe Anatomy of Genius: The Anatomy of Genius

31st December 2012:
Tag! (A wee confession: I've been meaning to read your fics for ages, so when I saw you post in review tag I thought to myself I will snag this even if I die trying).

First: happy new year! And second: I've never read a James/Lily before, as far as I know. So I'm looking forward to reading a new pairing as written by an excellent author :3

I love your characterisation in the opening paragraph. I've always been hesitant of reading Marauders, because I feel like most authors have such defined characterisations that I disagree with - playboy Sirius, James the git, Lily the fiery redhead, absent Peter, the likes. So even though I'm not far into this fic, I'm loving it already, because, well - this Lily and James seem like real people.

I really like this line: She had never hated James Potter, though he had certainly deserved it, time and time again. No, she only hated the pedestal on which he had placed her. There's an accurate justification here for her not-overtly-positive feelings about James, which is rare!

Also, I like how you've explored what it's like to be both a muggle and a witch. I never thought of it that way, but now you've written it, well...that's perfect.

All in all, I really liked this one-shot. It was impeccably written (I'm a bit flabbergasted by it, to be honest) and such a subtle take on the ship.

So glad I read this! ♥

Author's Response: Julia! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this story! It was awesome to see your name on a review and I'm really glad that you enjoyed reading this. :D

You're right that authors too often adhere to narrow fanon characterizations for the Marauder-era, characterizations that are too restrictive and that don't particularly suit the characters. I like being able to tweak, or even explode, those ideas of how the characters "should" be, especially with Lily, whose characterization most often annoys me. This story is the first time I've been satisfied with how Lily has turned out because it includes her Muggleness, her conflicted double-life, her lower-middle class roots, and the frustrations of being a teenage girl. She's one of the most difficult Potterverse characters to write, and the fact that you loved her characterization in this story is making me dance and grin and otherwise be wildly happy.

The story ends up being more about Lily than about the ship, which is interesting. Not at all what I'd originally planned. It's more a pre-Lily/James story, trying to show the increasing connection between them that comes before the actual relationship. Lily has to navigate her own issues and insecurities first, and when she discovers James in the final scene, she sees that he has, all along, been dealing with similar problems. However, unlike her, he falls apart, and she realizes that he's real too. The ideals of genius she had ascribed to them are just as false as the pedestal on which he places her. Only from this point can they see eye-to-eye. It actually became more complicated than I anticipated, but that's a good thing. :P

Thank you again!


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Review #74, by peppersweetForever: FOREVER

31st December 2012:
Hey, here from review tag!

This story is quite an interesting take on a plot I've seen often - I don't mean it's cliche at all, because you've avoided cliche simply in your choice of characters. Quite often, I think, people would make Rose the bride, and then another one of the Weasley girls (or boys!) the jealous one at the wedding. So it's interesting to see a switch in characters and have Lily marrying Scorpius instead.

One comment I'd make is that Rose's narration seems a little melodramatic at times. I feel like you've written her as someone who's quite pragmatic and logical, and although she is in a desperate situation in this story, her sudden thought of 'I should just end it all' seems quite jarring in the middle.

I was also going to comment about how uncharacteristic Scorpius' decision to abandon Lily was, but, I see what you did there :P

I have to confess that I didn't like Scorpius or Rose much in this story at all. Scorpius seems like a bit of a prat, if I'm honest, and I just sort of wanted to tell Rose to pull herself together...if anything, I felt for Lily the most. She seemed to have done nothing wrong to get all that ill will from Rose! I know the middle section wasn't 'real', but I think you made a very important point there about Lily taking after Harry in her selflessness. While you took your time with Rose, it would have been interesting to see more depth to Scorpius and perhaps more of Lily in this fic.

Aside from that, your writing is pretty good in this. Your grammar is near perfect (unusual in fanfiction!) and I like how you use short sentences at the start of Rose's narration to show how broken her mental state was.

And one final thing that made me laugh: when Rose imagined that Scorpius was kissing her, I noticed that you hadn't written Albus as leaving the room so I was just like 'Albus is okay with watching this...?'

Good job! ♥

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am a little surprised that you chose this story to review as most people skip over this one, but I am glad anyway :)

I tried to avoid the cliche, hence the character-switch :) Its good to know it interested you!

I was attempting to write mere streams of thought-processes and thus it sounded a little abrupt I guess. I'll see what I can do about it though if I edit this.

Haha it was definitely very unrealistic and uncharacteristic, which is why it was a dream xP

Hmm this was all from Rose's POV so I tried to portray things as to how SHE would see them, and to her Scorp was definitely being a prat (for marrying Lily, if nothing) and her main attention was on Scorpius, thus little attention on Lily (which is sad, I know).

I am glad you liked my writing. And grammar is near perfect really? I do try my best, but I am not sure I am near perfect xP

Haha I didn't quite think about Al being in the room too! But well it gave some comic relief and it was a dream after all, lol.

Thanks!


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Review #75, by peppersweet2012 Writer's Duel: A Fresh Spin: In One Safe Piece by Toujours Padfoot

30th December 2012:
The delightful Melissa pointed me in the direction of this story after I spent some time bemoaning the fluffy cheerfulness of teenage pregnancy fanfiction stories, and I'm so glad she did. This is a perfect fresh spin on what is an alarmingly cliched plot device. It's so realistic! I think the most important 'fresh' bit of it was the attitude of Molly's boyfriend, and of Molly and Audrey towards him. I so often see teenage pregnancy fics where the father ends up being some mature-beyond-his-years saint who sticks with the girl to the bitter end. Er, not in many cases. Audrey may seem like the strict, uptight mother, but I found myself sympathising so much for her in this piece, as well as Molly, although Molly's naivety and optimism really did frustrate me at times.

And this was actually a pretty sad piece, but it was phenomenal. Well done you ♥

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