Reading Reviews From Member: peppersweet
302 Reviews Found

Review #1, by peppersweetFaith: beginnings.

6th July 2015:
I, TOO, KNOW THE PAIN OF LIVING IN A FLAT WITH A PERMANENT BREEZE, DESPITE THE CLOSURE OF ALL WINDOWS. Fun fact: the windows were original, in an 130-year-old flat. Not so fun fact: it gave me a 4 month chest infection. Watch out, Austin, especially if youíre smoking too.

Faithís cynicism about the wonders of technology was great. Yeah, Google Cars are pretty wacky, but not so great if youíre a witch/wizard and can fit 20 people and a dog into a Ford Escort.

I, too, share the joy of realising I am rich enough to buy real cheese.

ďWhat instrument am I playing tonight?Ē - cripes, Austin, what a humblebrag. We get it, youíre super talented. Gosh! (Does he play the spoons? Youíre not a real musician unless you can play the spoons. I made that up.)

Oh no, Iíve been to ten person shows, and they arenít usually fantastic. I am crossing my fingers and toes for Faith and Austin.

ďWe donít really have a band name, but Iím Faith and thatís Austin.Ē - fun story: one of my best friends is in a band with some girls she met at school, so, at their first gig, they opened with Ďum, we met at schoolí, and someone got the wrong end of the stick and so thatís the name they played under for their first couple of months. They eventually got a better name.

I donít know why butÖIÖamÖhearing Alunageorge while I read this?

Wheee this chapter was also fun! Again, the tone is right up my street. Omg, a Faith and Austin album. WILL VENGEFUL SONGS ABOUT CASSIE BE SUNG? WILL AUSTIN GET A HAIRCUT? Only time will tell, I suppose.

♥ thank you again for another marvy chapter!! I will watch out for an update!

Author's Response: I am living for these story relate fun facts - 130 years!! That is far too long to have ANYTHING original in that place.

Somehow this story has become the place where I dump all of my Muggle vs. Magical observations and jokes. Faith grew up with a Muggleborn mother and definitely doesn't see the big deal about technology because she's always been exposed to it in equal measure as magic. So basically, she's everyone in the real world who isn't excited that humans can fly across the world in giant hunks of metal.

I envy anyone who doesn't realize what a blessing real cheese is.

You're the first person to call Austin out on being 100% full of himself. I haven't really laid it on thick yet, but he's a humble-bragger extraordinaire. He doesn't play the spoons yet, but if someone told him that he probably couldn't teach himself to play the spoons, he'd do it.

Ten person shows are not usually fantastic. Although I have been to some pretty small venues that hosted amazing performances, even those usually had at least three times as many in the audience.

I kind of love the name 'Met At School' for a band! But then I'm a huge fan of cheesy, tongue in cheek band names that give me a little chuckle whenever I think about them.

So, I've been running around telling everyone about the AlunaGeorge thing because when I first started thinking up concepts for this story one of the first things I wrote down was: 'Faith and Austin's sound is very much like that of AlunaGeorge's.' (also I wrote that AlunaGeorge absolutely cannot exist in this universe and, in bold, wrote 'too meta') They don't yet sound exactly like them, but as time goes on, they basically become fictionalized versions of them. I can't believe you picked up on that, really. I didn't think anyone would figure it out this early in the story. Fun fact: The entire universe this story exists in is named after the AlunaGeorge song 'Your Drums, Your Love,' with drums swapped out for life.

Thank you for another amazing review!

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Review #2, by peppersweetFaith: change.

6th July 2015:
Okay, I hate to open this review on such a terribly nerdish note, but finally, SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS LETTING PROPERTIES. Faith is on a periodic tenancy! The landlord can give a monthís notice at any time and, yes, increase the rent without the need for renegotiating the agreement! Sorry. I used to work in a letting agency. I like to show off.

She pondered why the Wizarding world hadnít come up with a more instantaneous method of communication already, but couldnít think of any reason other than maintaining an aesthetic. GOD I LOVE THIS LINE. Did you know owls are actually kinda stupid?? I went to an owl sanctuary when I was 19 and this is VERIFIABLE FACT spoken by a man who has to try and train them for aerial displays. He was clearly a bit frustrated with his job.

I also love the touch of ĎBloody Merlinsí. I like the ~magicisation~ of muggle things a lot in fic, and this also gave me a chuckle.

Ok, I know it was just a little comment on Faithís part, but thank you for expressing her exasperation with the perception of bi girls! Iím bi/queer, and most of the reason Iím not publicly out is because peopleís no. 1 reaction is just like, wonít u cheat??! how can u likeÖmore than one?!? canít u just pick!?!?!?!?! ?!?! Hurrah for bi representation on HPFF !!

Omg, I know it wasnít intended, but the aforementioned estate agency training meant I read the, um, letting agent wizard?ís speech in such a funny internal voice. ĎA light, airy property, directly off Hogsmeade High Street, with views to the Shrieking Shack *cough* from the chimneystack *cough*, three bedchambers, two chamber pots, andÖan almost-kitchen.í Iím sorry, Iíll stop with the letting agency thing now. Iím just so used to hearing stuff like this.

Except Iím not done because The water runs and the shower knobs have temperature adjusting capabilities IS TOTALLY SOMETHING AN ESTATE AGENT WOULD USE TO SELL A PROPERTY. If you ever need more inspiration for property talk, hit me up, Iíve written up enough advertising descriptions in my life.

Whoops, I accidentally clicked onto the next chapter without posting the review for this one. Iím that pumped.

This was a v. v. enjoyable chapter - I have to confess Iím not familiar with the universe youíre writing in, but the tone and setting are right up my alley; I am a student and habitual inhabitant of scabby flats, so I LIVE for stories about gently impoverished young adults living in the sort of places that violate building regulations and the laws of physics. Iím excited for chapter two, and for more about Faithís musical leanings!

I just have a couple of bits of concrit:

She found a piece of paper (parchment is pricy) and scribbled a note down - I might alter the wording of this sentence a bit, because this sounds more like your interjection into her narrative, rather than something she might admit. U feel? Not sure I explained that well. Like - She found a piece of paper - parchment was too pricey - and scribbled a note down. I mean, that doesnít change a lot, but the original bit in parenthesis jarred me a bit.

The patrons almost didnít look like witches and wizards they were dressed in such outlandish garb. I think you might need a comma between wizards and they.

All in all, this was brill, good job, and thanks for the swap! ♥

Author's Response: hi Julia! I can't believe I'm actually answering these reviews within a week of receiving them. This does not happen often.

You'd be surprised how much completely unnecessary research I conduct for this story. I think all of my reviews should open a nerdish note, it's only right.

I am CRYING at owls being stupid. That makes some future scenes I have planned SO much funnier. I like to have fun with people literally sending messages by owl in a modern setting because it's really, really ridiculous.

All credit for the Bloody Merlins thing goes directly to my friend Roisin. She is the greatest and just handed me that gem!

I'm super queer myself, but for years and years I was actually terrified of writing any characters that weren't straight into my fic. I just kind of expected flames and disappointed readers, (which was a logical mental projection from my real life) so I avoided it. Last year I began writing queer characters and was having a lot of fun with it, but then I realized that I was only writing gay men/boys. And like - that's diversity and everything, but it wasn't really all that bold to only write people with the exact same identity as me. So, since I already had this story kicking around in my head, I decided that Faith was going to be bi. And I don't think I could possibly write a bi girl without addressing some of the things they go through, even if in passing. So yeah, that is the super long history of stuff that lead up to that line.

The fact that you are this excited about the landlord pretty much validated my weird obsession with him, thank you! The funny voice you read it in was very much intentional, except he has no idea that he's being absurd!

It's totally fine that you're not familiar with the universe because this story takes place so long after almost all of the other stories in the verse. There's nothing you need to know, really, before reading this. You won't recognize Faith's parents or any of their friends, but I went out of my way to introduce them under the assumption that readers hadn't read any other stories before this one so as to not confuse anyone.

I've already gone through and changed those two things, thank you for pointing that stuff out--I'm trying to make these opening chapters good enough that I won't feel the urge to come back and completely revamp them by the time I reach chapter five.

Thank you so much for the swap!

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Review #3, by peppersweetfirst: first crush

4th July 2015:
Hello!! Back again.

First things first, Iím not sure whether itís my browser or not, but this chapter seems to be in a tiny sans-serif font instead of the standard HPFF formatting - might be the coding on the chapter text? Itís not bothering me, just in case you didnít know.

And another small nitpick - is Esmeís name spelt with one E or two? Iíve seen it both ways so far and Iím not sure which is correct.

And The Burrow appears!!! Hurrah. I spent half my childhood building it in lego.

Again, I love Esmeís narration - the simplicity and naÔvety of it. Her voice is just wonderful. I really struggle to write characters this young, but youíve absolutely nailed it. Iím taking tips!

Poor Esme, always crying when Albus pops upÖheís like a chopped onion.

In regards to Esmeís comments on loveÖhow can someone so young be so sad?!? Girl! Now I need to know more about her life!

Aww, this chapter was so sweet and fluffy, with so many little bittersweet touches (thatís how I like my fluff - with extra doses of sads). Iím intrigued to learn more about Esme and Albusí backgrounds - whatís burdened them with such sadness at such a young age?? And where will they meet againÖ?

This sentence could do with a little ironing out: íHer cousins, Dominique, Louis and Victoire had told her stories of the house with its mismatched floors and lively gardens. When they spoke of it, it always sounded of home. As she looked around her, there being more redheads than she'd ever seen and at the people all in formal wear, she could see why they felt what they did - bedecked as it was, the house still spoke of the comfort that came with home.. I personally would rephrase as ĎHer cousins - Dominique, Louis and Victoire - had told her stories of the house, with its mismatched floors and lively gardens. As Esme looked around, surrounded by more redheads than sheíd ever seen and guests all in formal wear, she could see why they spoke of it with such fondness. Bedecked as it was, the house still spoke of comfort, of home.í - thatís a major rephrasing on my part, but I feel the two statements about it being Ďhomeí are a bit redundant together and could be liquidated.

"Alors on danse.Ē - my french isnít great, but I think it should be Ďení instead of Ďoní.

he said teasingly, pulling her to the dance floor and before she knew they were moving enthusiastically to the music. - I would break this sentence up a bit, taking out the Ďandí and starting a new sentence with the ĎBeforeí.

This was, again, a lovely chapter. Iím so impressed with how youíre handling the POV of a character so young - I wish I could do that!! I like how the fluffiness is tinged with just a little bit of sadness too - it makes the story very realistic. I hope Esme finds happiness in a few chaptersí time!!

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Review #4, by peppersweetfirst: first meeting

4th July 2015:
Hello! Here with my promised reviews.

Okay, Iíve never heard the phrase Ďlovely little waferí before, but Iím using it from now on. Iím picturing, like, pink wafers? The cute lil ones they used to market with the pink panther as a mascot. Anyway. Here I am to give you some concrit and general comments on your lovely lil fic!

I know this is narrated in the third person, but I think youíve nailed Esmeís voice very well in this - thereís a certain naÔvety to the narration, and the simple expression suits her age and what I can see of her personality. I like it a lot! Her dialogue is great too. The way she forms her sentences does make it sound like English isnít her first language, but also suggests her discomfort in this situation. That contrasts nicely to the easy way Albus speaks.

íI think the red is beautiful. It simply means belonging, doesn't it?í Oh god, this line is so sad! Itís a simple statement to her, but it means a lot.

I have some teeny corrections to suggest:

Added to that, she had only two female cousins and both were more than five years older than her so they were too old to play with her and she was too young to have anything in common to talk with them about. - this sentence is a bit of a run on. Maybe could use another comma, or being broken into two.

but before Esee could hear any more - just a wee typo here!

Panic filtered into his voice when he realised, ĎOh GOD, I'm not even certain who your mum is.í - just a little bit of clunkiness here, I think. Maybe: ĎPanic filled his voice when he realised. (new line) ďOh, God, Iím not even certain who your mum is!Ēí

Esme sighed, sounding more like an adult than her ten years would - I think youíre missing the end of the sentence here? Or at least a full stop.

Living in France, Esme had no concept of how a simple striped scarf could do any damage so she just thanked Albus with a lilting "Merci,Ē - to be brutally honest, I donít think you need this line. Itís clear from Albusí expression that something upsets him about the scarf, and thatís information you can reveal in a later chapter as Esme gets to know him. Stating it outright here contradicts Esmeís POV in the story so far, as it states something she doesnít fully know. So I think Iíd leave it out here. Just start from the ĎMercií, maybe.

All in all, this was a very sweet and enjoyable chapter! I like Esmeís narration a lot. Youíve definitely established her voice well in this opening, as well as much of Albusí character. Iím looking forward to reading on!

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Review #5, by peppersweet'Eyes' with an 'L': Boom

9th January 2015:
!!! THIS WAS SO GOOD! Excuse me whilst I contain myself for a minute or two...

This was such a good take on Lily - and Severus, and James too. It's a different take (although Lily could have been canonically deaf, do we really know enough about her to make that judgement) but the characters we know from the books still shine through. Lily has such spirit. She's so defiant, so independent. Those have always been her characteristics, I know, but you've managed to portray them so beautifully. Oh, god. I never really read Marauders, mostly because I got a little fed up with the characterisations but, jings, you did them so well.

I also love how you portrayed James and Lily's relationship coming together - James' eagerness to sign, his stumbling grammar. It was such a lovely moment to end on. Similarly, I liked the way you ended her friendship with Severus, showing his misplaced love, something more personal than the muggle-born/pureblood issue.

Lily's relationship with her hearing was definitely the highlight of this, though. Her confusion and anger surrounding it was so well drawn. I also appreciate the research that went into this fic; with the help of my friend, who is partially-hearing, I am learning to sign so I can communicate with a man on my course. At the moment, he lip-reads and I make a lot of gestures, but my accent is very strong and I shape my words differently - something I had never considered!

Thank you for writing this, I really enjoyed it! ♥

Author's Response: Oh I'm so stoked you liked it! This was my first foray into marauders so I was really nervous about approaching these characters. I'm like, insanely relieved you thought I did them well! James was especially tricky because I wanted to keep him in line with the cocky annoyingness of canon, but still have him be likable.

I got SO excited when my prompt for this challenge was "Lily Evans is deaf" because I was taking ASL and Deaf Studies at the time! This might as well be a really weird essay about all the stuff I learned :p

That's awesome that you're learning sign! One thing I really wanted to get at in this story is how the hearing world often expects the deaf to adapt, but too few hearing people bother trying to meet them half way. So yeah, good on you for adapting, too! (LIKE JAMES, YOU KNOW)


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Review #6, by peppersweetTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

9th January 2015:
Hello hello! I found this story completely by chance today, and after reading five chapters in a row I'm hooked. Draco/Astoria is one of my favourite pairings, and everyone's different takes on their relationship makes for interesting reading! I don't know if you're planning to pair them here but, boy, there's so much tension between them. You've characterised them both perfectly - Draco is exactly as I see him during the war - and Astoria is fiercely independent and so nicely written. Your description is flawless, by the way - you've got a real knack for it.

I'm glad to see Draco's Legillimency showing up in this chapter! One of my favourite headcanons is that his skill is in Occlumency/Legillimency, so I'm chuffed you've written about it! All round, this is the perfect fic for me to read, and I'm enjoying it so much!

Thank you for writing this, and I'm very much looking forward to reading on! ♥

Author's Response: Hello hello hello!
First off, sorry that this response is SO late. I've been a little out of commission lately, but I am back and working on finishing up the next chapter.

Thank you so much for your kind words! This review is just so encouraging, and I really appreciate it.

I totally agree--I always thought Draco would have to have a knack for Occlumency, since he was able to fend off Snape's Legillimency, and Bellatrix didn't figure out that he (probably, I think) knew exactly who Harry was when they captured him in Book 7. It seems like a valuable skill to develop when you're a member of Voldemort's forces. And it only stands to reason, then, that he'd develop considerable skill as a Legilimens. It certainly makes him the perfect man for the job in this fic!

I'm so, so glad you've enjoyed this story, and hope that you'll continue to! Thanks again!


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Review #7, by peppersweetThe Enemy of My Enemy: Satan, Beelzebub and the Anti-Christ Walk Into a Dungeon

17th July 2014:
Celeste!! My god, I loved this! I had no idea what to expect, so this was a real treat. The 'female marauders' trope has been done to death, but it's wonderful that you chose to focus on a group of girls entirely separate from the Marauders who are so much better. Girl power! Calpurnia's - whoops, Fawley's - thoughts on her friendship with the girls at the end is so sweet. Girl, if you bumble along together and cheat at cards together, you are bffl.

Something I'd never considered before reading this was Dumbledore's choice of Head Boy and Head Girl in the Marauders era - why the devil did James make Head Boy?! Seriously?!?! And both from Gryffindor?!?!??!?! Yep, that's about as far from partial as the Oort cloud is from the Sun. I think the truth we all need to hear is that Dumbledore is a Jily fanboy and just had to make his ship sail. God, Dumbledore, you suck. Boo.

My favourite line by far was: My grandmum always says rubbish like 'a true lady is like the Cruciatus Curse Ė effective, but never loud'. Oh dear, it did make me chuckle. It's also pretty depressing at the same time.

Overall, I really enjoyed this. This was a beautifully subtle type of humour writing that made me snort a few times, but also...think. Calpurnia's - whoops, Fawley's voice was really strong and engaging and, yeah, like you said, I can picture her with a monocle, stroking a cat. Her friendship with the other few was realised really nicely, and I like how you gave them canon surnames associated with students in Harry's generation - makes me wonder whether their children would be friends or not (sequel!! Sequel!!! Ernie MacMillan, Astoria Greengrass Prewett and a Fawley playing cards and drinking during All-Out Wizard War: The Sequel)

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: It's awkward writing a response while talking to you at the same time, but here we go :D

Thank you for the lovely review :3 I really didn't expect a review, so yay! Fawley is outraged that you called her Calpurnia. Fawley is also outraged that you think that she is sweet or that she and those 3 nuts are legitimately friends -- it was the post-Dumbledore alcohol talking.

Dumbledore's partial, isn't he? Ugh, I mean I thought he made it incredibly transparent that Harry was his fave, so what would've stopped him from making it transparent that James was his fave? Yes, he was a creepy Jily shipper.

Yay, you like my humour! Considering how stellar your humour is, I am deeply flattered.

Yeah, I can totally see Ernie, Astoria, a Prewett and a Fawley being bumbling reluctant friends and like perpetually being terrified at stuff going on in Hogwarts. Basilisk? You-Know-Who? Sirius Black in the castle?!

Haha, thank you for the review :)

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Review #8, by peppersweetclose your eyes, listen on up.: under the mistletoe.

3rd January 2014:
Hey Maia! Here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge. I've read a lot of of 'stuck under the mistletoe' type stories this winter, but this was by far the sweetest and most engaging. Caitlin and Lily's progression from friends to lovers was so natural! I liked how Lily knew she loved her from day dot, even if she couldn't comprehend it at the age she was. Their relationship was beautifully written and they sounded like a perfect match - Caitlin's comment about the bee between the lips was really funny and I could just imagine her making comments like that to Lily all through the years.

One of the best passages was Lily's reaction to the kiss, I thought, especially this line: her mouth falling just the slightest bit open and her tongue darting out to check inventory of her lips, because it feels slightly like Caitlinís taken them with her when she pulled away, like sheís taken all of Lily, that sheís a hollow-shell-girl now - ugh, what a gorgeous piece of imagery, so evocative and sensual and eeep. I love the two of them a lot already. The narrative voice in this was really sweet too. I felt like I'd sat down for a cuppa and a natter and got this story chucked in as a surprise bonus.

The only criticism I have is that the spacing in this chapter is a bit weird - the HPFF editor does that sometimes. Didn't detract from the story at all, though, which was fab.

Really good job! Best of luck with the duel and have a fab start to 2014 :D ♥

Author's Response: Hiya! Yay, reviews from you always make my day :D I'm so glad you liked it! I think when I started writing this I honestly thought the enchanted mistletoe was something from canon - then I realised it wasn't and I must have read it in a fic ages ago and merged it into my brain as canon... but I liked it so I left it that way :P I am really glad you liked it and thought it was engaging! I'm terrible at writing romance and really struggle to make a good connection between the characters, and the characters and the reader, so I'm super glad you think that worked here!

Lots of people have commented on the informal writing style! I'm glad it seems to be such a hit - I think I did write this entire thing while drinking tea, so that might have had something to do with it :P

I've edited the spacing now but it's still a bit inconsistent so I might have another shot. SIGH. hpff editor drives me crazy sometimes.

Thanks so much for reviewing! Happy 2014 :D


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Review #9, by peppersweetWaltz: Waltz

3rd January 2014:
Hi Tanya! Here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge, day 8!

I'm so glad I read this one-shot. It's such a sensitive but also sweet and funny handling of Scorose. Both of their conditions seemed absurd, but not in a bad way - I'm kind of struggling how to express myself here - as in, you showed the difficulty of living with OCD or a stutter really well without sensationalising the conditions or making this a tragic story. The way the narrative voice sometimes reflected Rose's OCD habits was really effective, with the repetitions of three. I thought it made this line really stand out: Not that she hasnít considered what it might be like to kiss Scorpius in a daydream or two or twelve, but the dream versus the reality are so very vastly different for one glaringly obvious reason: there are no germs in daydreams. It seems like a really offhand remark, but I liked how you used numbers that weren't multiples of 3 to count the daydreams, and mentioned that there weren't any dreams in them. The suggestion of Rose possibly having some sort of mental escape was really touching.

Their reactions after the kiss were also really sweet (sorry to overuse the word sweet!). I absolutely loved the closing line. Also, gotta say, it made me giggle a bit thinking of their absolute aversion to being covered in glitter. I know it's tough to get off, but sparkles!! I guess I can empathise - I glittered up for a Christmas party something like a month ago and my carpet's still got bits of silver trodden into it.

Really good work. Best of luck with the duel, and happy 2014! ♥

Author's Response: *squee* Hi hi hi and thank you so much for this wonderful review! Wow! :-D

Ah, I'm so relieved to hear that my portrayal of both Rose and Scorpius' conditions came across well! I was so very nervous about that when I was posting and it's been so reassuring to know they've been well-received! And that's so exactly what I was going for: showing their challenges in an accurate light without making their lives seem wholly tragic! Also, that's one of my favorite bits as well for exactly that reason: Rose gets to take a break from the germophobia aspects of her life, if only in a daydream. The numbers thing I actually didn't do on purpose, but I'm glad you liked it anyway (though I have to point out that twelve actually is divisible by three... hehehe)!

Ahh, the reaction line is one of my favorites! Scorpius is adorable after that kiss! And I'm so happy that the closing line worked for you; I was a little unsure if I shouldn't have ended it with his 'Good, good, good.' line, but I was selfish and really wanted that final Waltz line in it, so I threw it in just because! I'm very glad it worked for you! Phew!

Omg, glitter. No, I can't deal with it. LOL I'm telling you, it's impossible to clean up! Hahaha I wish the best of luck to you and your carpet, though! ;)

Thank you so, so much for this wonderful review! I was so happy to receive something from the 12 Days of Christmas challenge, too! Also, now that the winners have been announced (omg, I can't believe I'm one of them!), CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU! I'm such a slow reviewer, but I'm working my way through all of the entries, so I'll see you over at Thaw soon enough! Yay! *hugs*

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Review #10, by peppersweetYou, Traitor: You, Traitor

3rd January 2014:
Hi, here for day 8 of the 12 days of reviewing challenge!

I very rarely read stories about the Marauders, much less often stories about Peter, so I really enjoyed this one-shot. I liked where you went with the prompt, with Peter literally changing himself physically at the New Year as well as shrugging off any of his remaining loyalties to the Order in favour of Voldemort. I found this line quite chilling: You just wanted them to be safe. If theyíd just allowed your master to kill Harry, everything would be okay. To think that Peter would just prefer a child to die so things can go back to normal with him and his friends is pretty disturbing and says a lot about him as a character. I also liked how you wrote about him becoming part of the Weasley family, although it did seem a little strange that Percy just plucked a random rat off the ground and decided he wanted it as a pet. Also, the jump in Peter's mind from the mention of Ron to knowing he'd be able to spy on Harry at Hogwarts seemed a little unrealistic. I thought it was more a case of Peter ending up with a magical family out of sheer luck and choosing to stay there as it gave him a good place to hide, rather than tactfully biding his time with them until he could fulfil his duties. Peter is a coward through and through, after all, which you actually did a really good job of portraying earlier on in the one-shot.

Well done, best of luck with the duel! And a happy belated New Year :) ♥

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you very much! I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this one-shot, and that you enjoyed how I interpreted the prompt.

That line is definitely creepy; in a way, it makes sense but when you add emotion into the decision, it's a terrible thought to contemplate.

I intended for Percy to be the "odd one" of his family, so he wanted a pet so he could have a friend, and since the Weasleys couldn't afford to buy one he'd pick the rat. I'll try and see if I can add in a bit more description to convey that, but I agree with you on the unrealistic aspect. I'm afraid I rushed the ending of the one-shot to get it into the queue before the deadline, and I'll definitely fix that soon.

Thank you so much for your lovely comments, and a belated Happy New Year to you too! ♥

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Review #11, by peppersweetMixed Feelings: Flying Forks and Bathroom Talk

3rd January 2014:
Hiya, here for day 8 of the 12 days of reviewing challenge! This was such a nice wee one-shot. I loved the casual absurdity of the Weasley's Christmas, like Roxanne accidentally throwing forks at Lucy, Albus levitating Lily and Hermione flawlessly performing the Heimlich manoeuvre on Ron. Bet he's glad he married her, eh?

I loved how much of a grudge Roxanne had on Henry Allen, seemingly for nothing. I know I get like that sometimes - I have terrifyingly short patience, especially when hungry - and I thought you portrayed Roxanne's frustration with him really well. Of course she fancies him! The ending was hilarious, when she just kinda throws insults at him then snogs him. I feel sorry for the poor boy. This line, I thought, summed up her inexplicable hatred of him perfectly: When all the dishes were clean, he wiped down all the counters and managed to remove the red food coloring stain that had remained for several years now. Roxanne thought about what it would look like if he suddenly went up in flames.

Roxanne's insistence on referring to Henry Allen by his full name at all times made me laugh - it reminded me of the podcast Welcome to Night Vale, where one character is always referred to as John Peters (you know, the farmer?)

Good job. Best of luck with the duel! ♥

Author's Response: Thank you! I also have short patience and have been known to get snappy when I get upset at people not going fast enough for me. :P I've heard of Welcome to Night Vale, and I keep meaning to listen to it but never do. Have fun in the 12 Days of Reviewing! :)

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Review #12, by peppersweetResolute: Resolute

3rd January 2014:
Hi, here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge!

This was an excellent insight into Riddle's mind. I like where you went with the prompt - instead of pondering how to change himself for the better and be a good man, Riddle's 'new year, new me' thoughts are fixated on how great he will become. The only way is up for him. I thought you brought across his arrogance and psychopathic traits well in this. It was written very subtly. Of course, psychopathic as he is, Riddle would never let anyone on to his dark thoughts and actions, and so the ease of tone and flow in this even when discussing some of his horrible deeds (like killing the Head Girl's owl) really suited his character.

I especially liked this line: He does not need a potion, even one for luck. He would create his own luck, if he ever needed it, and he never needs it. I felt like it was a really good piece of characterisation, Riddle just destroying the Felix Felicis, even being offended by it. It displays his arrogance and ambition perfectly.

Really good job. Best of luck with the duel! ♥

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by! :) Good luck with the reviewing challenge!

Thanks! :) I'm so glad you liked it - I've been wanting for ages to write something about Tom Riddle and so when I saw this prompt, this was the first thing which popped into my head. I looked up lists of traits of psychopathy online, tbh, haha, so I'm happy you thought it came across well.

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it - I wasn't sure if that bit was a bit too much, in all.

Thank you so much for the lovely review and good luck with the reviewing challenge! :)

Aph xx

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Review #13, by peppersweetThe Unspeakable and the Wasp: Unique Service

3rd January 2014:
Hey, here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge! I've never read any fanfiction about Rookwood or, come to think of it, Ludo Bagman before, so this was a really unique and refreshing read. I thought you responded to the prompt very well, with Rookwood reflecting on his mask-like personality and using his tryst with Bagman to consider changing himself for the better. Whilst very compassionate and sweet, I did find it unusual that he felt remorse for possibly causing Bagman to lose faith in people generally, but you cleared that up in the end when Rookwood returned home. I always start the New Year with promises to make myself a better person, usually whilst drunk, and always go back on them by noon on New Year's Day...

I have to say that I especially liked how you explored the sexuality of two very, very minor characters, especially casting them both as bisexual (or at least I assume so, after Ludo's comment about being hexed in Brussels!). I feel like most people kind of react to bisexuality like 'what?? how?? surely you're only one or the other??' so I really appreciate it being written like this. Quite a few stories with gay or bisexual characters make the storylines revolve around sexuality, but you didn't do that here, for which I'm very glad! I also really like the sarky tone and the innuendo. I guffawed a bit when Rookwood made the comment about Bagman handling a broom. So smooth, Augustus, so smooth.

Just a little piece of criticism: this line is missing a word - Flirtation was just the in Augustus needed to plant a seed for his quest. Not sure which word is missing, but I feel like there should be something between 'the' and 'in'.

Great work! Best of luck with the duel, and a happy 2014 to you ♥

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for picking this as part of the 12 days of reviewing. :D I'm really thrilled this was a unique read. Part of Rookwood's remore went back to the fact that he knew Bagman as a non-famous teenager and thinks of him as still the same person behind the fame. I didn't explicitly talk about that because I couldn't think of a way to make it clear that he only hit on him because he seemed useful and not because he creeped on teenagers.

I didn't want to make it just about their sexual preferences. I do think Ludo is bi and Rookwood leands towards anyone he sees as a potential mark. It's never really about preference but gain. Making his innuendo a bit silly was a must for me. I mean, most innuendos are.

Thank you so much for the review and cc!! It was really helpful and quite squee-worthy to get such good feedback.


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Review #14, by peppersweetMerry Christmas: The Winter Air

3rd January 2014:
Hi! Here for day eight of the 12 days of reviewing challenge.

This was a really cute little one-shot! It had a perfect festive setting and I really liked the dynamic between Sirius and Eleanor, especially Siriusí snark. I loved the bit where he said Iím about as Sirius as they get! - I like to think he uses that joke all the time. The last line was really cute as well, looks like the start of a blossoming relationship for the two.

I did have a few things to comment on in terms of your spelling and grammar, etc, but I notice that writeyourheartout has already left you a really helpful review so I wonít repeat what sheís said. One sentence I do want to bring up, though, is this one: The snow fell ever so lightly, falling delicately on my nose, creating a magical atmosphere. On such a cold night, my breath could be seen condensing in the winter breeze air as my family and I made our way to the big wooden oak doors. Your writing here is pretty evocative of a wintry, magical atmosphere, so you donít need to clarify it with the words Ďcreating a magical atmosphereí. Itís a redundant phrase - we know from all your description of the manor, the snow, etcetera, that thereís a magical atmosphere here. Try to show, not tell.

Good job though, this was a lovely winter warmer of a story! Happy 2014 ♥

Author's Response: I'm really glad this story is getting such a good response, minus all the grammatical problems. I'm really thankful for all those who have taken time out to point out my errors to help me improve as a writer. Your example of how I can show and not tell, will honestly help in he future where I can let the reader read between the lines. Thankyou very much! A happy 2014 right back at you! :)

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Review #15, by peppersweetCaught Under the Mistletoe: Chapter 1

3rd January 2014:
Hiya, here for day eight of the 12 days of reviewing!

This was such a cute and christmassy one-shot. I like how Lily and Mary get their own back on James and Sirius ultimately, especially with the help of Remus and Peter. I really liked how just adorably fluffy it was, and how well you depicted the Maraudersí friendship - a lot of writers tend to slip in as many hints as possible about Peter being a bad egg, which is unrealistic because he was a marauder, so I appreciate that you didnít do that here. Also, loved how sarky Remus was. (James, thinking? Blasphemy!)

One wee criticism I have is that your phrasing was a little awkward in places. I donít really get this one line in particular: They each put four up in the locations that Lily had overheard and with the help of the others. I understand the first bit about Lily overhearing the locations of the mistletoe, but the Ďhelp of the othersí bit confused me. Do you mean Remus and Peter?

Good job, though! Happy 2014 :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Yeah, I always get really annoyed when authors tend to make Peter as a bad guy from day one. In my opinion, if the Marauders were prepared to die for Peter he must have been a pretty good friend! You don't just die for anyone!

Haha, I'm glad you liked Remus! :p

Yeah, I meant Remus and Peter but I wanted to try and be subtle and not ruin the prank idea. I admit that I felt that was awkward but I couldn't think of a way to change it. If I think of another way to write it, I'll fix it up! Thanks for pointing it out, though!

Thank you for the lovely review! Happy 2014 to you too! :D

- Kayla :)

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Review #16, by peppersweetThe Lucky One: Cross Your Fingers

2nd January 2014:
Greetings! Here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge. How could I resist hipster Albus?

Before I even discuss the plot or anything, I love the line Broomstick scientist, he was not. So often when I write fanfic I get really carried away by the actual act of typing and forget that Iím writing about wizards and witches and whatnot, so whenever I see magical metaphors or idioms with a magical turn of phrase in fic, I get extraordinarily excited and want to shower the author in praise. So please wear your best praise-repelling anorak if you donít want to get soaked.

Itís kind of adorable how Albus resents his celebrity in this. Not because itís a pain being famous, but because he feels guilty about leeching off his dadís success. He seems like a guy with a heart of gold and I love him already! Also, the description of the cafe made me laugh out loud - being an art student, Iíve been to a lot of those sort of cafes and I never understand why the empty picture frame on wall thing is popular - and I love how this chapter is such a loving homage to all things try-hard and desperately cool. Also, Jamesí Wizbook status. First world problems indeed.

And at the paragraph about Albusí dress sense Iím laughing out loud. I can just picture him in his fair isle jumper and woolly hat and whatnot. Merlinís beard, please say he has strange piercings and tattoos too. Like, idk, a stretcher in each ear and a stylish owl chest piece. (But he loses hipster points for actually needing glasses as opposed to just, you know, wearing them. I share that struggle - whenever people try on my glasses theyíre like Ďoh, you actually canít see!í as if they expected me to just wear them for funniesÖ)

Oh Albus, you bleeding heart! Whilst part of me wants Sir Adorable of Adorableness to find love, it is a little creepy how infatuated he is with Violet - er, Blossom - without ever having said anything. I sort of hope he finds someone else, someone who is equally just as unknowingly hipster who will appreciate his lack of 20/20 vision and playlist.

That last line cracked me up. Hipster metaphor!!

Wait, a shoutout to me in the authorís note?? Aaah, youíre too kind! I didnít expect that and itís put a smile on my face ♥ great start to the story, I hope you update this soon!

Happy 2014 :D

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Review #17, by peppersweetAll Over Again: Time Will Tell

2nd January 2014:
Celeste! Greetings, Iím here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge. Iíve developed something of a soft spot for Cho over the past year or so, so I jumped on this. Todayís challenge is about reading stories that donít have angst as a main genre, and I have to say itís kinda unusual and very refreshing that Iíve found a non-angsty Cho story. Especially one thatís about adult life post-hogwarts - I love those!

This is such a beautiful start to a story. I like how you put us down in Cho, Padma and Hannahís lives without too much exposition or detail about them, how you just let us observe an ordinary lunchtime between the three of them. I feel like I know them already, you know? The dialogue was so natural. I liked Choís little dig at Ginny. Iíve never really considered how Cho might actually view Ginny, because Iíve never really figured out for myself whether Cho was really smitten with Harry or just looking for a meaningful relationship with another lost soul after Cedricís death, but I suppose Quidditch rivalry and whatnot wouldnít make them the best of friends. Also, yeah, Ginny is pretty annoying. Thatís such a small and odd detail to pick up on, but I picked up on it.

The imagery in this chapter was just gorgeous, especially the closing few lines. I love the springtime feeling in this, the feeling that life is spilling and sprawling out into the unknown and exciting things are just round the corner. The line It was silent and in the silence were lifeís melodies was really, really lovely in this context - just imagining that, even as Cho stands still and quiet, the world turns and her life turns with it. I donít think I expressed that very-well! Anyway, this chapter captures that twenty-something on the cusp of life feeling really well, and in a really refreshingly optimistic way.

This line was my favourite: It was spring. Around her, trees were deciding whether or not to bloom and the sun was parting easily with its light, but not with its heat. Itís so evocative of that almost-spring feel. For me, it instantly conjured up that first day of spring in Britain that always ends up being like an ersatz summer, when people go around in shorts and t-shirts with their goose-pimpled pale arms on show even if the temperatureís only just pipped a few degrees past celsius.

Really lovely start. Adding this to my favourites and looking forward to reading on ♥

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Review #18, by peppersweetUp For Grabs: {TO MARKET, TO MARKET, TO BUY A FAT COW}

2nd January 2014:
Meghna! Iím here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge.

This was such a cute one-shot, I loved it. It was great getting to see into Parvatiís life for a change and what she gets up to after Hogwarts - sheís not a minor character Iíve read too much about in fanfiction, so I really enjoyed this, especially as you set with her family in India. Her motherís matchmaking was hilarious and made me feel a little sorry for Parvati, especially when I read this line: Parvati stared into her empty tea cup as if she could see the figure of the Grim in it. Also, the bit where her mum asks if the boys are clean or not (íBathing is important. Do they have a bath twice a day?í - kinda sounds like my dad, to be honest, whoís always badgering me to find a rich English boy). I loved her little exclamation of íBroomsticks and bakwaas!í and how you called back to it right at the end. Vinod seems like heíd get on with Parvati really well - part of me hopes that, after this, theyíd befriend one another in London and get up to all sorts of magical hi-jinks. Ahh, Vinod is such a cutie. I know youíre a busy med student and all but can we get a Vinod/Parvati (b)romance fic? Can we can we can we please please please??

Iíve just got one wee criticism, which is that your tenses jumped around a bit in this, e.g She began to wonder if itís too late to floo back to London, and if she really can endure a whole three weeks back home. - it started in the past tense, and this line sort of jumps right into present, and throughout the fic you fluctuated between past and present a little too much. This is something you could definitely fix with editing though.

Great work, so glad I read this! Happy 2014 :) ♥

Author's Response: How does this story have so many new reviews. Let alone one from Julia herself. Bring me my fan, Dobby.
TENSE KINKS BE THE DEATH OF ME. I was so frazzled by the end of this story that I just thought o.k. it doesn't matter if it looks like I don't know basic grammar LET'S JUST PUBLISH YEAH? and look what's happened. But omg I did not expect you to like this or anybody for that matter but here you are being kind and sugary ;A; THANK YOU. xoxo

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Review #19, by peppersweetLungs: One

2nd January 2014:
Sarah! I've been meaning to read this for a while now, but today I'm here as part of the 12 days of reviewing challenge.

I liked this opening chapter, especially the first line: Helene could not separate the cigarette smoke from her own breath that hung before her. Every breath expelled a curling ghostly mass. The writing was beautiful, and those first few passages about Helene smoking in the early morning outdoors were very atmospheric. If I have one criticism, it's that this chapter felt sliiightly too info-heavy - some of the characterisation we got of Helene could be left for later chapters, or just shown through her actions. When I think up a story, the first thing I want to do is launch into all the complex character and plot info I've just thought up, but I think it's more important for readers to be thrown straight into the action. So I came up with the compromise of writing the info dump first, then shelving that chapter and writing an alternate 'action' opening that presumes readers just know who my characters are already. I mean, I don't think that reflects in my plodding writing, but, well, I try. I love Helene's character (she seems like a bit of a BBC Sherlock) and I'm intrigued to see how she comes into contact with the Marauders. Will she treat Remus? Will he melt her heart of ice? Ah, only time will tell.

Great opening, though, Sarah! Looking forward to reading the next chapter when you post it (and I promise to catch up with KC&CO soon!) ♥

Author's Response: JUUULIIIAAA (this requires more than the allotted four-character-count.)

Why thank you! I admit this kind of writing comes a bit more naturally to me... any excuse to throw in way too much imagery, really.

That's a very helpful suggestion about the first chapter info-dump. I'm guilty of doing that (especially in KC&CO, ack!), mostly because I get so excited to update that I turbo-write one chapter and immediately throw it in the queue. I really like your suggestion though, about writing the alternate action chapter... That's definitely something I'll keep in mind for my next OF project.

Hehe, I've never seen Sherlock (BBC or otherwise) but that's a cool--and pretty flattering--comparison!

Thanks so much for taking the time to review! I hope your Holiday went well ♥

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Review #20, by peppersweetThe Rainbow Room: curious.

2nd January 2014:
Greetings, here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge! Draco, Astoria, and Luna? If it werenít for the fact that Christmas was just a week ago, I would say that Christmas just came early.

I loved this opening chapter. Astoriaís narration was brilliant; it felt very light and effortless, but little flashes of darkness poked out now and again which made the general tone a touch bittersweet. For example, when Astoria mentions, almost offhand, that more people will be seeing thestrals this year, or even that her parents had died. Iím a big fan of post-war stories about the Slytherins, and my all-time OTPs do tend to involve Dracos and Astorias and Lunas so this fic is an absolute treat. I like the way youíve written Luna before - she definitely seems like Luna, with her bluntness and all. Some writers have the tendency to overemphasise her oddness, but you havenít done that, which is cool!

Looking forward to reading on. Thank you for posting this & a happy new year! ♥

Author's Response: Hey peppersweet - I am so, so sorry about this late reply to your lovely review. I haven't had a chance to use my computer for a while. I'm so happy to that you enjoyed both narration and pairings/characters. I'm like yourself, and love post-war Slytherin stories (though I feel they are unfairly rare).
Again, I am over the moon to hear you enjoyed this beginning. You review was incredibly sweet, and it means a lot to hear such things. Also, happy belated new year to you too!

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Review #21, by peppersweetMiracle : Miracle

2nd January 2014:
Hey, here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge! You had me at Ďcontains references to suicide and death. Quite a bit of death.í

Holy moly, I loved this. I know the poem in question and love it too, and itís wonderful to see how youíve interpreted it and spun it into this one-shot. Itís so beautifully written and the concept is amazing (twisted, yes, but brilliant - and I have a weakness for twisted anyways). This was my favourite bit: Dying is your gift, I correct, as big sisters do. You stiffen, so like the strict realignment of bones of a corpse. I wonder you are all sharp, unbending bones bound in a dressing of blood and knit together by skin. The morbid imagery was perfect and wonderful and honestly Iím incapable of saying anything constructive about this fic, just lots of Ďwonderfulís and Ďlovelyís and Ďbeautifulís.

Amazing work. So glad I came across this! ♥

Author's Response: Hello! :) Haha, to say death is a big theme of the story is a bit of an understatement, and I'm so happy you found it intriguing!

I love getting reviews regardless, but to get one from someone who knows and likes the poem it was based on makes it extra special. I'm glad you found it interesting and twisted, I quite like getting into that dark frame of mind and coming up with creepy lines like the one you quoted. It's so fun, and I'm really pleased you pointed that line out as it was one of my favourites as well.

Thanks for this beautiful review, it was so lovely to receive! :D ♥

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Review #22, by peppersweetLove, Damned Love, and Statistics: I. The Girl

2nd January 2014:
Gina!! Itís-a-me, Julio. Here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge. Todayís challenge is reading angst-less stories, swear Iíve never had to do anything so difficult in my life. Also, Iíve wanted to read this for about 6561928723 years.

Anyway, enough about me.


I love the fluffiness of this (Iím still recovering from NYE and need fluff like I need calories and caffeine rn) and Iím only like, halfway through chapter 1 and already giggling and awing - the line about the 50% off sale at Gladrags attracting girls and James considering putting a similar sign on himself cracked me up. You know those people who are employed to stand on street corners holding signs advertising pizza places and stuff? Iím just imagining him standing outside the Great Hall with a big placard saying ĎDATE ME and get a FREE £5 GIFT CARD FOR HONEYDUKESí or similar.




IS THIS THE CAPERSVERSE?? (If youíve told me that before Iím sorry that I have a memory like a Leaky Cauldron but it is a BIG REVELATION and the merest hint of a velvet blazer might make me fall off the sofa)

"That's one voluptuous graph," he said one evening with a low whistle, staring at the diagram she was working on. /ď Normal people call it a bell curve," she said smoothly over the scratch of her quill. This exchange made me snort with laughter. One might say Ellianís work has curves in places, occasionally the right places.

If James thinks Ellian is romantic as a fencepost, Iím shipping them already. Land ahoy, shiver me timbers and such. Jallian. Eames. EAMES. EEEAMES (fandoms within fandoms)

James seems like a bit of a jerk but in a wholly loveable way?? Also, knowing (or assuming, more like) this is Capersverse makes me so happy because FRED, the point-man, oh oh Fred, knowing what I know about your futureÖ

Eames 5eva. See you at the next chapter (once Iíve, er, left my six other reviews for this challenge - todayís gonna be a whole lot of reading) ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO RESPOND HERE I AM A GINO. You've wanted to read this since earth was a flaming piece of rock, thank.

THE GLADRAGS BIT IS MY FAVORITE LINE i added it in an edit though, so not everyone had the chance to see it. I'M GLAG(rags) YOU'RE THE FIRST TO MENTION IT. I think James would look spiffin in a placard. Or a giant suit of anything, really, even a hot dog.

THIS IS THE CAPERSVERSE as it says in the note at the beginning~ Scorpius isn't here but there is a brief Bea and Lucy cameo! I'll bet that Scorpius is one of the boys who looks like a sparkly flowerpot at the Yule Ball though.

EAMEs. ok that's too good, the ship has to sail. Actually I had an old dumb bit where James ships himself with her and calls it "Jelly" hurrhurhur

JAMES IS BASICALLY OBLIVIOUS TO EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T HIMSELF but he's a puppy so he needs people around him to be happy. Fred's bit is a wee sad if you remember him pining for James in the beginning of Capers. THESE ARE THE ANTICS JAMES PUT HIM UP TO.

♥ ♣ ♠ to spice it up. THANK.

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Review #23, by peppersweetWinking Eyes: Colin Creevey

1st January 2014:
Hey! Here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge. I have a real soft spot for Colin Creevey as a character, so this obviously broke my heart into teensy wee pieces. I hate that he had to die in the final battleÖ!

This chapter was really moving, especially with all the repeated mentions of Dennis and the winking eyes. What are the winking eyes? I guess Iíll have to read on to find out, hehe - at first I imagined Colin had charmed photographs of himself to wink at Dennis as a way of signalling whether he was alive or not. Which is silly, but itís what my mind jumped to!

One of my favourite bits was where the stairs formed a whirlpool of sorts and swallowed up the Death Eaters. Very imaginative, and something I can see the castle doing during the final battle. I also really liked how your writing because increasingly fragmented as the fic went on and you used more dashes to break up sentences, showing Colinís growing anxiety and the intensifying action. And the last line was absolutely heartbreaking.

Really lovely chapter - Iíll definitely be back to check out the rest when Iím not so hungover and tired (happy new year, by the way!). Thank you for posting this! ♥

Author's Response: Oh, that idea of the winking eyes is really beautiful too! I guess in this first chapter I was sort of going for that sense of not quite knowing what the winking eyes are, and leaving that up to imagination. Obviously my answer is going to be given in the next two chapters :)

I'm so glad you liked the writing of the battle... I always find actions scenes pretty challenging so I'm glad I did this one well.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! And a happy new year to you too!

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Review #24, by peppersweetVictory: I've found you.

1st January 2014:
Hattieee! Iíve been meaning to read this for a while, so Iíve arrived here for day 6 of the 12 days of reviewing challenge.

I have to confess that, when I started reading this, I assumed Victoire was narrating it - I only made the Teddy connection in chapter two! But it made for some great mental images in the meantime. I will not let that detract from the creepiness of the fic, however.

Loved this line: For a moment, I am in pain. I revel in the fact that it is not caused by you. - as an initial introduction to their relationship, anyway!

I really like the bit where Teddy points out that he can change physically very easily, whereas Victoire can change her personality or thoughts with the same relative ease as her Ďbeauty remains constantí. I, er, donít have anything deep to say about it, I just think itís a really interesting comparison.

Itís ironic how the child born at the end of an old war gave birth to a new one. - also love this line. So! Much!!

The rhythm of this fic is excellent; it feels like a constant, rolling beat as Teddy walks. Iím not sure if I read it right, but I got the feeling that there was a weird sort of timescale going on here, specifically in chapter 5 when Teddy talked about his relationship with the other girl. It seemed to be over so quickly that I reasoned that the fic is set in a sped-up version of Teddyís life; instead of being a moment of him running to actually hunt out Victoire, itís more of a metaphor for his process of getting over her after the end of their relationship. I mean, I might be so wrong - I am very hungover and tired today and not reading stuff right (happy 2014!!) - but itís the feeling I get. But wait!! Victoire is in Azkaban? Sheís an actual murderer? I THOUGHT THESE WERE JUST METAPHORS HATTIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY EMOTIONS. I also might be wrong about the timescale thing. Heís not getting over her!! Not at all!! HEíS SWIMMING IN THE NORTH SEA NOT GETTING OVER HER!!!

Dude. Wow. That ending. All the way through this fic I just assumed it was about a creepy Teddy, you know? And nowÖI know better.

Okay, seriously, well done, Hatz. After reading this last chapter I can see how tightly constructed and put-together this is. Itís melodramatic, but in the best possible way, and I definitely didnít see the end coming (I just assumed that when he mentioned she killed people, he meant likeÖmetaphorically? By breaking their hearts? Because Iím naive and too innocent for this world?). Brilliant job!

p.s happy new year! ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #25, by peppersweetI Feel Pretty: Epilogue: You Are Beautiful

1st January 2014:
Hi! Iím here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge at the forums.

I love and also hate the idea of Roxanne having to deal with an insult mirror - it sounds like exactly the sort of tacky, silly magical object youíd get in the potterverse, and itís definitely a daft gift. Although Iím reading it literally as Roxanne having to face an actual mirror that insults her, Iím also interpreting it as her own voice that she might hear in her head as influenced by the media, etc.

I think itís desperately sad in chapter two when Roxanne mentions Molly and her terminal illness, and almost seems to wish Molly would be dead. Roxanne really gets put through the works in this fic! I appreciate that you showed her cycle of illness and recovery from start to finish, highlighting the start of it and then bringing it to a close. Unlike most fics about self-harm, anorexia and abuse, it wasnít too sensationalised, and I liked the more hopeful tone of the final chapter.

My main criticism would be that Roxanne and Seanís relationship was far too rushed in this chapter - they went from meeting to expecting a baby in no time at all, and then he was dead! I appreciate that Roxanneís illness would have made her more vulnerable and perhaps too trusting towards men, but if this is the case, you could do with making it a little more explicit. As it was, things seemed to happen very quickly, and his introduction felt like more of a catch-all Ďcureí for her mental health disorders than a true romance. I do like the ending, though, when Roxanne resolves to love her children no matter what and do whatever she can to help their self-esteem. She makes a complete change in her life in this closing chapter, which is heartwarming.

You also had a few issues with flip-flopping tenses in this fic, e.g the two of them were talking about Quidditch and Katie occasionally put in a word or two. Freddie and LeeAnne were sitting in front of us, talking quietly about their twin boys (names, they just found out last night) - the story often flopped between past and present tense, which I found a little confusing. That sentence seems like the past tense (and the ending makes me think that Roxanne is narrating this from far in the future) but the mention of the twins is in the present tense. Also, I thought you mentioned Roxanne was at a muggle school in the first chapter, so I was confused for a lot of this about whether she was actually a witch or not, haha!

Good job, though, for tackling a lot of very difficult issues in a pretty sensitive way. And a happy new year! ♥

Author's Response: First of all, thank you for the review I really appreciate it.

Now about Roxanne and Sean relationship, I sort of viewed it as a whirlwind romance, I can see Roxanne being with someone who will make her happy. Sean makes her happy because he understands that he needs to help her, and I did jump around in the last chapter. They had been going out for at least a year, and he was planning on proposing to her.

The tenses have always been an issue of mine, but I'll get around to editing it soon.

And the mention of Muggle school in the first chapter. Roxanne is five at the time, my headcannon is that all the Weasley kids went to primary school until Hogwarts age. It made sense to me as their parents couldn't all homeschool them if they were working, also it would help them be around/respect Muggles.

Thank you again for the review and constructive criticism.


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