I seriously thought Tanith turned and cast the curse on Thanatos. I know that's insane, but it was a satisfying thought for a split-second.
And it was going to be Tanith all along. I half wondered if Nick had influenced that, knowing Gabe had told the truth and he was doomed anyway - why not twist the knife for her at the same time ( I really have a problem with Nick, I now realize). Good on Gabe and Cal for being bigger people than me.
I love that Gabe wants Cal to balance Tom. (And that Cal will totally do it, too.) And that Gabe is so there for Jen -or Katie- whichever she is :) Too funny!
And Tanith LET David be there for her. That's the biggest shock. (Ok, no, the Unforgivable was the biggest shock, but still). That's a whole lot to drop on a muggle.Author's Response: If Tanith was prepared to make a suicide charge, that is pretty much how she'd do it.
I don't think Nick would have consciously tried to twist it into Tanith being his executioner, or at least not through a sense of punishment. He did remember that she was the one who got him out of being Kissed at Azkaban. But Nick Wilson was no saint, and though in many ways he was a young man being thoroughly messed up by war, it doesn't excuse everything.
Gabe and Cal can kind of AFFORD to be bigger men, and Gabe especially gains nothing by demonising/blaming Nick after the fact. Though he does at least remind Jen that it's basically his own fault if it's not Thanatos's.
See, emotional growth from Tanith! It happens! This is rather why David's good for her. She'd be snapping right now if she didn't have him. Thanks for the reviews! Report Review
Loved, loved that Gabe braced for the pain of revealing his prophesy and it didn't come because Nick wasn't going to alter anything for anything. Not even a second thought for Jen, ouch!
Although, a little upset at Jen for playing like Gabe wasn't pulling more weight in their success. No wonder they treat him like a freak.
Intellectually I understand Nick's motivation, I know I should be sympathetic for his perspective, but apparently I'm not that big a person. I wish someone would just stun him.
Oh, that man set Tanith up HUGE. No question. Thanatos is relishing this now. It's never a good thing when the sick freaks are also smart.
And Nick named her as his executioner. What does a person do with THAT?Author's Response: Nick's charge to death is entirely unavoidable and YET entirely avoidable. The crux of the issue was that the only person who could change it was Nick himself. And he wouldn't. Not even for Jen.
So while he might 'deserve' pity, he does also deserve a clip around the ear. Though, he's also a victim of his grief: with another week, or two, or more, to come to terms with what happened, would he still race off to die for vengeance? Would he think more clearly about it? Impossible to say.
Jen was wholly wrong to under-sell Gabe. Though her punishment for it perhaps outweighs the deed itself. At the least you can bet that she regrets having done so now.
Thanatos is evil and manipulative, no question about it. Right after he claimed to not relish in his misdeeds - another notch for hypocrisy. Report Review
Nice chapter title. I wouldn't want to be Riley right now. Here she is all frustrated that Gabe's the one who gets her (and probably not keen on him so strongly defending Tanith), but in so many ways rather stuck with the hand she's dealt herself. Yikes, what would go through your mind in that fifteen minutes?
MORE horrifying!?! I'm not sure I want to know what that implies. Even if Gabe hasn't 'seen' everything in the story, he's seen some pretty horrific things.Author's Response: Jen Riley's 15 minutes is something I must revisit in future works because as a concept I find that terrifying even if I entirely understand why she's done it. And it's not made easier by Gabriel Doyle being the one person she can really talk to about these things.
Gabe has... some big issues ahead of him. Report Review
This was tough.
There's really no safe place in Britain. Even the Lions are shedding blood and keeping tally (here's hoping Cal never rates a full point). Riley, Lestrange, and Thanatos each do have their own logic on necessity, and thanks for acknowledging the fact that even the good guys haven't kept their hands clean in the situation.
You have to be commended for giving your lunatics so many heinous layers. Rob was a piece of work, but Thanatos is downright committed to crazy. I'm glad Tanith finally actually could say something back. Part of me wonders if he truly thinks he can turn her -and Cal by extension, possibly- why else would he keep her around?
And, I'm pretty sure I've seen him relish.Author's Response: Yes: aside from Thanatos' arguments being crazy (as Tanith said, big deal if he's the one she'd RATHER murdered her family in their homes), he's also... lying. Or kidding himself. He views himself as a monster, but he views himself as a 'noble' monster, making necessary sacrifices, and... while that's twisted and messed up as a principle anyway it's also pretty much wrong. Because he does revel in his monstrosity at times.
It's still that twisted nobility which makes him cling to Tanith. Because he doesn't genuinely believe he can fit in the New World Order of Voldemort's, so he sees people like Tanith - good, dutiful purebloods - as the future. He just needs to get her to BELIEVE in his future. Thanatos has to believe he's building this new Britain for someone, it's what keeps him going.
I almost surprised myself when I originally wrote how the Lions had killed some Snatchers, chapters back. But it makes sense. It's war, and people die, and just beating them up won't DO anything. The Lions have killed and will continue to kill. Ideals matter, and that's what's got Jen Riley different to Thanatos Brynmor, but they have both killed people and ordered their subordinates to go kill people. Report Review
Just really want to give a small hug to Will. Good on Toby for being there for him.
In the same pass, Toby's so completely not there for Tanith. How can he be? She's still so very close to the end of the rope, if David's the one to help her tie a knot and hold on, you can't begrudge the girl that (I hope she finally asked him what his name was). The whole scene on the roof is kind of a favorite for me. I really liked it. Does that make me a T/T traitor?
Odd to think that muggle London might actually be the safest place in wizard BritainAuthor's Response: I am glad that the T/T fans all seem to still love David. Because I am obviously a T/T fan and I love David too; he's good for Tanith, he's good for keeping her sane in the war and for letting her grow, emotionally, considering her damage, and these would all be necessary for future T/T-ness anyway. BUT I don't think his last name EVER comes out!!
I should have hung a lampshade on my accidental Aladdin reference in this chapter, looking back on it. Report Review
Are you superstitious? I'm wondering how much I should read into an address of 13. It is kind of bold for Riley to take over the house and not even let Nick in when she sets up shop in his dining room.
I'm glad Cal and Gabe have each other now because it's a tough crowd in the Lion's den.
Poor Toby. Even the best bedside manner can't take the sting off that diagnosis.Author's Response: I hadn't even considered/realised I'd put them at number 13. Huh! That's a bit of an unfortunate implication. Riley is being a bit bold, but this is how she always operates, compartmentalisation of information. Officially, at least, Wilson knows this. Whether he *likes* it...
Cal and Gabe will have each others' backs. It also helps that Cal's a lot more *likable* than Gabe, so can help bridge the gap. Gabe's reputation amongst the Gryffs would have been rotten.
And yeah, poor Toby. :( But a man can't beat death and emerge unmarked. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I now realize why I'm so keen on Tanith - it's the unhealthy reliance on coffee.
I've been looking forward to a talk with her father. Patience, though? Not sure that is equal to repression so it might be a lesson Tanith yet needs to learn.
I hope this is not her last meeting with her dad.Author's Response: Haha. Tanith is a pro at repression. She needs no more lessons on it. Patience? Less her forte. You'd think someone so good at repression would be good at clamping down and waiting, And Yet. I may have been writing Tanith chapters while hopped up on coffee myself. I fear this may show.
Certainly we, the audience, will see Daedalus Cole again. Whether Tanith will is up for debate. Report Review
A bigger target on Toby. That's just lovely.Author's Response: But it's a big target on a living man! That's progress! Report Review
Total Gabe love in this chapter. Haha - 'I don't. But. You'd know better.' (I'm just the bloke you pulled out of bed in his boxers FOR reassurance.) And Cal needing his own reassurance was pure love.
I confess to harboring a thin grain of hope Toby was not lost. Still not sure I trust you, but thank you.Author's Response: Gabe is pretty keenly aware of the situation between Riley and Wilson. Perhaps better than they are. He just likes sitting and letting Riley figure it out for herself, often out loud, to him. Oh, the implications. And Cal is a bit of a darling in this one, yep.
I *am* cruel. But perhaps not cruel enough to kill Tobias at this juncture. There may be more junctures in the future. Report Review
Here I think we past rock-bottom halfway through the chapter and then... new lows. For everyone. To see Perkins and Thanatos hit that low, I'm not ashamed to admit, was satisfying. But Tanith and Cal, turning on each other was heartbreaking.
And David - he completely had Tanith pegged to the end. Oh, where is the power of the guitar now? I think she's more than a little lost at this point.Author's Response: This is, indeed, the darkest. Perhaps of anything I've written. I only feel so intensely sorry for Tanith on the reread, as this is her completely collapsing to the lowest of the points, and hitting everyone else on their way down as she plummets. If only the power of the guitar were enough. Report Review
Almost. Wow, that little paragraph was like a punch in the gut.
Tanith's reaction I was braced for, even Cal's, but not Gabe's. What a twisted web he's spinning in. "-just like he'd been warned..." Was that in Brazil?
One thing- I thought Tanith gave Toby the watch when he left Hogwarts for MLE, not King's Cross? Not that it much matters given the circumstances.
It's all just so sad.Author's Response: 'Almost' indeed. ...whoops, you're right about the watch! I forget my own canon. He just LOOKED at the watch at King's Cross. Gabriel is... finally beginning to show the cracks in his armour. It just takes death for that to happen. :( Report Review
You seriously cannot be trusted.
And with his own wand!
Hollow is exactly how I feel.Author's Response: *bows, and also apologises* Report Review
Yeah, somehow I don't see Thanatos sitting in a park placidly playing gobstones. That's kind of a tough sell, there.
And crap, more distance between Cal and Tanith, and worse more Perkins.Author's Response: Thanatos does like to try, however. Of course, he uses all kinds of methods. Including Perkins, if possible. Who is... yeah, she's trouble, that woman. Report Review
'Why is your wand in my face?' Ha, I'm still reeling from last chapter so if Dimitri did turn out to be dark I'd have had to shut the laptop down and go away for a while. Too bad Toby's suspicion had him ditching perfectly good coffee.
David?!?Author's Response: Yeah, I'm cruel and yet self-mocking with this chapter. Certainly, right now, Dimitri has no intentions of murdering poor Tobias in the middle of the park. He might do it later, mind! And yes, David. He's baaack. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
It's taken me forever to get back here and review. I'm going to blame the fact that I HAVE NO WORDS.
I suspected you'd do this, you can't be trusted a bit, but no!Author's Response: Well, there's... a whole lot more to be read, I'll say that much! I'm glad you're enjoying it. Or, at least, I assume this lack of words and implied anger is enjoyment! :) Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
OK, I'm laughing because you probably have the same number of scene breaks in your second chapter as I have in mine. No reason that should be funny, but I often think random facts are funny.
Poor Lily. I agree, no one should yell in the world of comfort. And Petunia's not looking so good, but then she's grieving too so I'm going to cut her some slack. She's always seemed to be the if-everything-looks-in-order-life-is-in-order type personality. I can see Petunia not able to deal with the emotional upheaval that is Lily's reaction as well as James' equally reactive response. I'm also glad Lily realizes that if she doesn't tell people, she can't expect them to act any differently.
I noticed some typing glitches. For example: 'the floor of James's room massive, rectangular room', 'nearly all off Hogwarts', 'she held up a finger to stop in from interrupting'. They aren't major, but a little distracting.
This is a big transition from beginning to end. I actually read it like two small chapters with the train being on its own. Short, but with everything you need to get the point. I feel like we're moving and I'm interested to learn what else Sirius knows about the night of the accident.
~TyAuthor's Response: Scene breaks are addicting! They don't bother me at all, so when they *do* bother people I'm like.. What?? You don't like scene breaks??? For realz? Okay.. I don't actually say that, but yeah. Haha.
Petunia is someone I really find myself forming a bond with through this. During the story there are parts where Lily has a dream or flashback sort of thing about her parents. Mainly when something big happens to remind her of them. So, those start out as 'parent' memories, but they really are about Lily and Petunia and showing how they went from close, loving sisters to... well you know. If my outlines works right, they'll end right around Christmas when Lily and James meet with Vernon and Petunia for dinner and the wedding. Okay,sorry.. rambling over. Haha.
Sirius's 'revelation' doesn't come out until chapter 8. And I've had someone guess that there was 'something' going on with him and Lily, so just in case you are thinking along those lines.. definitly not. I am one of those 'LILYANDJAMESARESOULMATES' people. Haha.
Thanks for pointing out the typos! I'll go edit those right now :)! And thank you again for another awesome and insightful review ♥ Report Review
Last minute Ty here for the exchange :-)
I'm interested to read your take on James/Lily. Already I like that you started the story outside Hogwarts and included interaction between James and his parents. You worked in the Potters' background - how they knew about Regulus and wondered if Sirius did. With school about to re-start, maybe William and Olivia won't be big characters in the story, but I appreciate getting a feel of their home life.
Your initial scene starts almost leisurely, with a conversational, cinematic tone to the descriptions. Quite a contrast to the entrance of Sirus and unveiling of Lily. I liked the contrast.
I'm a reader who will unapologetically skim description if it doesn't hold my interest. I crave details that stand out, like the mailbox and the size of James' hands between Lily's shoulder blades, so thank you for that kind of description. My only suggestion on that regard would be to skim for less impactful details. If you find yourself mentioning James' hazel eyes twice in a chapter, you could think about what else to bring out in one of those instances to give the reader something more or different to visualize.
I'm intrigued about your plot. You've left me with loads of good questions swimming around - how did Lily's parents die, where was Petunia, and how does Sirius feel so comfortable popping off to Lily's house in the middle of the night. I guess I'll have to keep reading to find out :)
~TyAuthor's Response: Hi darling! I'm so happy to see you here! I really enjoy your next gen so far, so I hope Before They Fall can be an enjoyable little Marauders era for you.
Using detail to enhance the story as opposed to clog it is one of my biggest goals. I'll go through this and see if there's anything unnecessary as well as anything that would serve a better purpose if it were described instead. The part about the size of his hand on her back is actually a very recently added bit, so I'm thrilled that it did it's job :)!
Thank you so much for this review ♥ Oh! And the Potters will actually be involved enough. This book is during their Hogwarts time only, but we'll still be with William and Olivia for Christmas :). For me, part of trying to show James as a truly good person, is showing the kind of people he came from. I'm so happy you liked our little dip into their world ♥ Report Review
Two full days- that man's all heart.
How sweet, Cal took her to her sister.
'I'll know to mention you doing something impressive in my vision next time I want you to actually take me seriously.' Gotta love Gabe.
Like Russia, you say?Author's Response: I know, all that time to recover from being brutally tortured. Who said they were an evil regime?
One of the main reasons I stuck Gabe in the Lions was so he could snark at the Gryffindors in his inimitable fashion. It pays off! Report Review
This is a vivid chapter. I love how you portray theory of Occlumency so starkly against the reality of it. Theories can so easily fall apart when pushed, and Robb was certainly doing some massive pushing.
Blind stubbornness and love - that is something Tanith has in spades and a very believable defence whereas her inexperience against a monster like Robb would have crumbled a rookie Auror's training eventually. Amazing how you weave the excerpts into the story. Really well done. And she ended there - so close!
'We can negotiate on that point.' Haha, I agree with Toby.
Now I feel bad for beating up on Cal last chapter.Author's Response: Yes, while Tanith would have a natural aptitude against Occlumency - despite being a passionate person, she's incredibly strong-willed and is very good at compartmentalising her feelings - the proper theory only goes so far against an expert who can take their time. So then it degenerates to a complete raw willpower test, though again, that will only last so long if Robb can keep her locked up and poke through her mind as he wishes.
I think Tobias' chosen headline would have been quite appropriate, myself. ;) And yes, this is where Cal gets a little bit of redemption... Report Review
Love happy-Tanith, she's such a rare bird. But the girl does deserve to celebrate a successful mission, even if no one can know.
And Cal's picking up hints of her little muggle secret. At this point I'm wondering if David's not just a one-time gig. Maybe he and Cal can start a band since Cal's got nothing else really going. (Well, except Perkins, and we already know my feelings on her. I'm glad he wiped his mouth and threw her out. I hope he went straight away and brushed his teeth.)
Ah, but then there's the second half of the chapter and I know the band's not getting together. Happy-Tanith couldn't last. You inched us up to the very top of the coaster before the plunge. And plunge it was. My stomach dipped when Toby found out and that very last line gave me a shiver.
Now I'm mad at you and Cal.Author's Response: Happy Tanith IS rare. I know I'm cruel to all my characters, but I think she is generally my favourite chew-toy. I'm just mean.
Cal is the one she'll have to be careful in lying to, because he's the one who'll identify any Muggle influence. He and David WOULD get on, alas. But there will be more from Cal... even if Perkins is an obstacle he'll have to deal with.
But I do like this chapter ending, if I may say so myself. ;) And I do deserve being mad at. And Cal does deserve it. Read on! :D Report Review
Her second offer to run away. This one quite a bit more tempting.
And the L word! That trumps Quidditch.
Although, I'm glad Tanith realizes that if Cal is trying, she needs to meet him in the middle somewhere. Preferably somewhere Perkins is not.
~TyAuthor's Response: And she almost did. The Tanith of one year earlier, the one who still thought her parents were supremacists and her sister was an idiot, probably would have done. Since then she's learnt more about her father and is getting to know her niece, and couldn't do it.
Yes. The L Word. This is such a huge scene and it was almost not in the story at all, but I realised while writing that if it didn't happen, Tanith and Tobias wouldn't be on the same page together for a SICKENINGLY long time, and it's hard to have your driving love story with them not being together for 90% of the fic! And now it's so stupidly integral to everything. Crazy.
Tanith SEES what she needs to do with Cal. Question is if she'll do anything about it. She's not good at that. Report Review
Coals for Cole. Don't know why that popped into my head, but it's brilliant - the theory, I mean, and not the wordplay. I absolutely love the Floo theory and how you not only worked out the plan, but revealed it in such a completely natural way.
Still loving Dimitri, but I'm going to defend Gabe: school WAS school, but some people never change. Riley isn't completely unbiased as to who is doing the antagonizing.
And what was that charged little moment? Me...I mean him. Never mind, forget that question, I have a theory there, but I want a theory on the BIG VISION. Is it the scion prophesy, the war, something else you've cooked up? You're truly not good for my health - I'm all tense now.
~TyAuthor's Response: Even if "a wizard did it", I like there to be some principles behind my magical theory. It feels a bit cheating when I'm writing the theory to fit the plot, and not being clever and coming up with plots to exploit the theory, but I'll deal with it. Everyone seems to love Dimitri. ;)
Gabe's not strictly wrong. Riley's not strictly wrong. People can change and holding schoolboy grudges is unhelpful in war, but equally saying that people can change when they've given no evidence that they will is... silly. As for Gabe's him/me bit, I'll give you that one for free: he's talking about Annie's funeral. His very first vision, after the passing out one, was seeing that through Nick's eyes, with Jen crying on Nick's shoulders. So his recollection is of Jen crying on HIM, Gabe. It gets complicated for the guy.
As for Gabe's Big Vision... read on! Report Review
Your updating is phenomenal. You put me to shame for not getting here sooner with some well-deserved appreciation for this story. Like for this chapter...
In a word, Gabe! In more words, the words coming out of Tanith's mouth with Brynmor were hard to read (and not due the writing, for sure). Unimaginable how hard those were for her to actually say.
I was hoping Gabe wouldn't spend the war in Brazil. No idea how he ended up with a group of Gryffindors - didn't he turn one of them into a duck in school? I'm slightly worried that he couldn't go near Tanith or Cal for similar reasons he couldn't go to the Ravenclaw stands. That's not foreboding at all, even before considering 'you're going to have to'.
~a very tardy TyAuthor's Response: It seems I'm either chronically inactive or I write like a demon. I harnessed the latter this time to get the bloody story FINISHED - it's all done, this one and the next, it's all over except, you know, the actual posting.
Tanith's lying to Brynmor here was awkward - and yet rather natural to write. As a lie, she's tapping into something uncomfortably close to the truth. If she wanted to, or had to, that's how she'd have twisted her mind to come to accept the New World Order. Which, of course, made that only harder, because the best lies have a little truth in them and that's not a truth she'd want to face.
Explanations of how and why Gabe is where he is will occur. Though no, he didn't turn one of them into a duck, Cal Transfigured himself (partially) into a giant duck and the two of them attacked Gryffindors together at the lake. Easy mistake to make.
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
'he reminded me of what I am in this war'
That really does sum up why a stupid one-time incident can have such a lasting impact on a long-time friendship. Nice!
Thanks for dueling with this :)
~TyAuthor's Response: Thanks for stopping by and reading this little story Ty! Report Review
This was a nice pick for the duel.
I always thought Snape deserved redemption. Your glimpse into the afterlife is nice reward for all the sacrifice. A second chance and a birthday present, what could be better?
~TyAuthor's Response: Hey Ty,
Thanks for checking my little story out. I'm glad you liked this. I sort of warmed up to Snape during DH, but I actually felt more of a connection with him during the movie than the book (Alan Rickman is that good). The movie is actually what forced me to get going on this story, actually.
It's just a brief glimpse of the afterlife, as I go into it a bit more in my other stories, but it's enough to give Snape what he deserves.
Thanks for the review. :) Report Review
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