MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE.
Ahem, there's nothing more coherent coming from my mind at the moment.Author's Response: N'awwhh. That's lovely :)
AND MORE COMING SOON. Report Review
Wow, wow, wow.
That was perfect at the end. PERFECT. This whole story has had Autumn discovering that she is her own person and she doesn't need other people to tell who she is and this is the perfect climax to that journey. She doesn't need to pick either because she deserves more then a best friend that spreads rumours about her and more then a boyfriend that tries to make her choose so he can win some stupid competition with his cousin.
So I LOVED the end. Obviously I have no idea where you're going with this but I really want to know that the rumours were. And to be honest whether she ends up friends with Dom again, or in a relationship with James or both or none then I just hope that its with her discovery that she's worth more than she thought. I also kinda half hope that she has a confrontation with her mother.
10/10 as always.Author's Response: Galawen, this was such a lovely review to receive and I was so shuffled when this arrived! Because in my mind this story is completely about Autumn discovering herself and learning that she has a worth and oh, well, I'm really excited about all of this and thanks for leaving me such a lovely lovely review :)
-AC Report Review
This is one of the funniest things I've ever read.
I'm going to leave a proper review on the next chapter about how much I love this story over-all but I'm afraid I'm laughing far too hysterically to do so right now.Author's Response: Thank you so much lovely! Your reviews regularly make my day :D Report Review
I feel a little guilty because I've been following this story for quite some time yet I've never actually left a review before. Please don't hate me! But seeing as you said its coming slowly to an end I wanted to left you know how much I enjoy it.
Your characters are believable and approachable in such a way that I feel like I'm reading about people I know. I find this especially startling considering that you seem to write in an almost old-fashioned style. Some of your wording and quite a lot of the beliefs within the story are old-fashioned yet I still feel that the characters are relatable! If that makes any sense!
For such a restrained and quiet person it is strangely easy to like Charlotte and I find myself disliking Drew A LOT mostly because I feel he is wrong for her. I probably have a prejudice seeing as I adore Oliver Wood but even so I find myself constantly WAITING for a Charlotte/Oliver romantic moment *lives in hope =P*
There are some times that I feel like some of your other characters are a little one-dimensional and slightly annoying - like Claudia and Piper and there have been moments where I've been confused by the relationships within the story. And by what is meant to be the main plot-line But those are minor complaints and certainly not universally applicable to the whole story.
What IS universal is the enjoyment and relaxation that your writing gives me and while I may not be on the edge of my seat, I'm definitely snuggled back into a chair eagerly awaiting each chapter.
Keep up the great work!
- Galawen :) (Hufflepuff)Author's Response: firstly, thanks for the review! :) i really love hearing what people have to say.
secondly, though you have great points, i'd have to disagree with you about claudia. claudia, at least, to me, is definitely not a one-dimensional character. in many ways, claudia is equally, if not more complicated than charlotte.
on the other hand, i can see how piper and alex may seem one-dimensional.
and i'm confusing the relationships in the story for a reason! and the main plot-line is fuzzy, but again, that's on purpose. :P
the story still has about 10-13 chapters left, and by the end, hopefully, it'll make sense.
thanks, though, for the reviews and for the compliments! :D they mean a lot. and the more feedback i get, especially feedback like this, the more i can push my writing forward!
thank you ♥ Report Review
Oh I really liked this! Its strange, I have read a few 'Lily is a squib' stories and they all have her reacting quite positively to it. Like she had always known and accepted her fate. But she was 11years of age, she shouldn't have been able to be so mature about it and I like that you have her upset, you have her devastated. Its much more realistic that she would have felt exactly as you have portrayed her and I'm so glad you did.
The moment between herself and Harry is also believably lovely as he doesn't attempt to tell her that there's still a chance but instead shows her the opportunities she hasn't lost. This is a sweet moment at a family that may have been famous but still has problems like everyone else. Very well done :)
- Galawen Report Review
Oh wow. I'm going to say something that could be taken in a negative way but I mean it in a completely positive way.
This is probably one of the strangest stories I've ever read.
I NEVER knew where anything was going, who everyone was going to end up, what was going to happen at ANY stage. And I loved it. Like seriously I normally get frustrated with stories when I'm lost but it was perfect for this story. You threw me Off-kilter as well as the characters and so while I felt lost so did absolutely everyone else! I've said to you before but even without giving a background to the characters you still managed to make me sympathetic to them and really curious about what was going on with them!
And those last lines have killed me. Killed.Me.
I had resigned myself to the fact that Corinna and Oliver wouldn't be together because neither of them wanted it.
BUT THEN YOU WRITE THESE WORDS:
"Five: because I hated her.
Six: because she was with him.
Seven: and I wasn’t."
Gah. You have messed with my mind and I bow before your powers =PAuthor's Response: I like being strange. With all my stories, but particularly this one, I wanted to be unpredictable, or at least flout tropes and cliches that are generally found in this genre. I started worrying about the unpredictability factor towards the end with people saying "I knew this wouldn't happen" and etc :P But yeah, I really did want to take everything about this genre and turn it on its end, and I'm so, so relieved and happy that it worked.
And teehee, the last lines. They never cease to amuse me. And your reaction is exactly what I wanted, so eee I'm so happy.
Thank you so much, Ruth, for all of your support and reviews and your general loveliness. So glad to have had you along for the ride. :) Report Review
=O =O =O =O =O - that is my face at the moment. I am in shock.
S H O C K.
That was totally and completely unexpected.
*pulls herself together*
I loved the end of the last chapter - it was really sweet and completely believable even though like Corinna I'm not sure if her and Oliver really are ok - although the whole half four thing is suggestive =P. Gah I'm sorry I can't write coherently. I'm still in shock.
POOR PIPER! Gah I really hope Corinna puts him in his place straight away and doesn't humour him for a while because she doesn't want to hurt him. I mean I'm fairly sure Corinna is the kind of person who would have no bother telling Cedric she doesn't like him.right?!!?
I MUST KNOW!Author's Response: S H O C K was my intention. As I'm sure you could guess.
As far as the previous chapter goes, I think they're okay as far as friendship goes. They are friends again. What they could be beyond that has yet to be... realized, I guess you could say.
But this chapter -- my poor Piper. I've come to adore her quite a lot. Then again, me being me, I like torturing my characters. I like your read on Corinna, but you never know, right? /Right?/
As always, updates are never far away! And as always, thanks so much for reviewing, dear! Report Review
EPIC-NESS. PURE EPIC-NESS.
I just genuinely love this story. I quite possibly couldn't tell you exactly WHY I do though! I mean we've kind of just been thrown into the situation with little background and its all action.
BUT don't get me wrong! That is not a criticism, because I still find myself drawn in and having favourite characters; even though I don't know them very well I feel like I do!
If that makes sense?! Gah there isn't meant to be much sense in this review I just wanted to share that this was AMAAAZING! And I love your updating schedule.
- Galawen(Ruth)Author's Response: THANK GOODNESS FOR EPIC. I was so worried about this chapter, you know? The huge build-up to the actual show was because I was terrified of writing something so, you know, epic.
I totally understand what you're saying about background, but I do have a reason! That reason being, Corinna narrates this from her own perspective, and in her head, she doesn't have to explain the true dynamics of her relationship with people. It's like telling a story to an acquaintance at a party or something, where it's mostly plot (or in my case, definitely lack thereof) and just the teensiest bit of background. Hopefully that makes sense? But yeah, that's my reason, and hopefully you feel like you know everyone better as we get even further along!
So glad that you enjoyed the chapter and my pretty prompt schedule! Thanks for stopping by! Report Review
I find this strange. You're pretty much the only writer I can read slash from I mean I've tried other pieces but they just felt awkward. In fact "I Never Told You" is one of my favourite one-shots ever!
Remus and Sirius are two of my favourite ships, but usually with female OCs and when I try to read them together it usually just doesn't work. But this one does! I don't know how to explain it, you just seem to write with a simple assurance and of course it helps that your characterization is brilliant. Harrison's pursuit of Remus was subtly obvious - if that makes sense! What I mean is that I could see that there was a crush there but it wasn't ridiculous that Remus didn't consider it.
I really enjoyed this piece and I'm not surprised seeing as it was written by you!
- Galawen :)Author's Response: Seriously, my cheeks hurt from reading this review! It means a lot that you allow yourself to go out of your comfort zone to read my stories. That's a compliment in itself, but yeah, still smiling like a goof ball right now. :)
*blushes* So glad that the pairing seemed right to you. I was really scared that a lot of people would react badly to the twist of it, because it's so out of nowhere (unless you happen to follow my writing, then it's completely expected).
Totally get what you mean. I really wanted it to be clear to the reader what was happening, yet not to Remus. So hard to find that balance, so I'm really excited that it worked. Remus is so intelligent, but I figure when it comes to matters of the heart, he's always a bit blind (as with Tonks).
*still blushing profusely* Thank you so much for your very very kind review!! --Jenna Report Review
Ok I'm not going to lie. I am a little confused. I don't understand the four girls' friendship and their relationship with Oliver, and of course why Oliver is with someone as crazy as Gemma :P
BUT even with this confusion I am, really enjoying this! I kind of like picking up hints here and there about what's going on!
Your characters do seem insane, but in a completely endearing and hilarious way! I love love Piper already; her mumbling during Gemma's rant and of course her reaction to Cedric's flirting was brilliant! Fav lines:
"When an obsession is the type that Piper harbored, you can’t cross that line. Otherwise you risk putting the obsessed in some sort of shock-joy-coma."
I'm really intrigued and can't wait to find out more! :)
- Galawan(Ruth) :)Author's Response: I believe I explained their relationship already, but for anyone else puzzled: they really are friends, but they aren't afraid of each other. Or, in this case, of Gemma; they realize that she needs saving from herself, and as such, "conspire" to rock her and Oliver's relationship. Because Gemma and Oliver were together before, Corinna and company are vaguely familiar with him.
I know I don't explain much (it doesn't get any better, trust me, but I hope it gets clearer) because I don't like being spoon-fed the intricacies of characters' personalities and relationships to each other in one paragraph. I've always considered this my love/hate letter to fanfic romance, so I try to subvert cliche as well as I can without undermining it so much. If that makes sense.
Endearing is one of my favorite words and it's a relief to hear that they are! Piper, actually, was an afterthought of a character because I needed another girl to round out the quartet. But she's developed quite nicely and I'm glad you like her! She and Cedric are the cutesy ones in the background of all the crazy.
I'm really glad you liked it and I hope you continue to! Thanks for dropping by, dear! Report Review
I'm gonna review both chapters here if you don't mind because, well because I'm lazy :D
First off I quite love Aunt Aubrey's idea of a family quiz, I'd like to somehow force my family to do one! I can picture the entire Weasley clan sitting down to and how competitive they would get even whilst thinking its a stupid idea! So personally I think that was a great way to start off the story - you've invited the reader into the world in such a way that encourages them to form their own image of your Weasley family.(If that makes sense!)
I love, love that Molly and Rose are friends here and that they don't have the usual personas you see; such as they are the over-achievers and insanely intelligent people in the family. Your characters are much more original and at the same time normal! Rose pities herself just like every other girl and Molly seems to have inherited Percy's determination, but in a much more relaxed way.
I feel very sorry for Scorpius at the moment :( I am curious, after this chapter, if he actually is following Rose around because he likes her or if there is another reason. :O
Either way even though you've described him as a rather dismal and strange person I still pity him, specially seeing as he doesn't seem to be getting the hint!
I don't have anything particularly constructive to say at the moment except I'm a little confused about whether Molly lives with Rose? Or was just visiting? Also what Rose does for a living?(I may have just missed this whilst reading through if so I'M REALLY SORRY!)
I'm really interested to see where this is going to go; is Scorpius the unexpected source of love or will someone else appear? And can't wait for another update :)
- Galawen(Ruth) :)Author's Response: Oh my gosh! Thank you!
I also adore family quizzes! We don't do them in my family very often, because arguments and shouting often follow, but I think if I had someone like Audrey in my family who'd INSIST we did them, they'd actually be quite fun.
I think there's more to a person than their intelligence; it's all to easy to think "oh, they're brainy, let's make them annoying/boring/losers". Some of my own friends are very clever and they're nothing like the stereotypes at all. So what I'm trying to say is, I wasn't focussing on their intelligence when characterising, more what other traits would compliment them. Thus Rose is insecure because quite a few of her family are clever and she doesn't feel like she can compete. She can, of course, but she doesn't feel that way :P
Ah, that's an interesting point. I reckon Scorpius does have some romantic feeling towards Rose, but you'll have to wait and see to find out what happens there :P
Molly does live with Rose - I think somewhere it says they're flatmates but I know I wasn't sure if it was clear when writing it. I had a nice sentence about them being flatmates but it ruined the flow so I had to take it out. Rose's job shall be revealed in the next chapter, I'm getting there ;)
Where will this go? OH YOU'LL NEVER GUESS. The source of love will indeed be unexpected :)
Thanks SO much for the lovely review, Ruth! Report Review
I love this story, absolutely adore it. You mesh harsh violence and inhumanity with exquisitely woven soft emotion without any discord between the two. This chapter is a perfect example; you expose the brutality and desperation of a war intertwined with a beautiful growing affection, without detracting from either story. My brain is in mush at the moment after reading this because I've had to pull myself back out from Scorpius and Rose's world; your writing pulled me completely into the story and I love love when that happens. I don't have anything particularly constructive to say at the moment because like I said my brain is mush! Apart from the fact that I've read alot of Scorpius/Rose fics because they are my favourite ship and this is beyond a doubt one of the best characterizations of that relationship that I've ever read. I love the dynamics between the two of them and their individual personalities and I'm already dreading Rose deciding that they've gotten too intimate and it going downhill. That's how invested I've gotten - I'm dreading events that haven't and mayn't ever happen!
I just wanted to let you know how much I'm enjoying this story and to thank you for giving it to us to read :)
- GalawenAuthor's Response: hi hun
thank you so much for a wonderful review!! I am so pleased you are enjoying this so far and wow, what an incredible compliment!! i work hard to ensure that this fic has a stable balance - it can't be all brutality all the time. there needs to be something softer, something deeper and emotional, to off-set that.
one of the best characterisations? wow thank you so much! I don't know what else to say to that only that I am really thrilled you like them!
thank you for reading and reviewing hun!! I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic!
Kate xx Report Review
Aww this makes me feel so sorry for Bathilda! And really angry at Skeeter for taking advantage of an old and lonely woman! I always felt Bathilda must have felt awful after learning about what her nephew did and about the fact that apart from Voldemort he was considered one of the darkest wizards of the modern age. Knowing that a relative of hers; a child she had looked after and cared for was capable of such things would certainly have impacted heavily on her and I think you capture it perfectly.
I like how you seem to compare Bathilda and Arianna in a small way because essentially they are both such lonely individuals :( Very nice piece :)
- Galawen xxAuthor's Response: Yes, I think that Bathilda and Grindlewald shared a passion but that she now regrets and fears that she had a big part in how he turned out. So the regret and guilt must be there.
I quite like Arianna and she's the person that I would have loved to read more about so I had to have her in this story... I always imagined Bathilda knowing something about her, witnessing something that she maybe had hidden so deep within herslef that Skeeter couldn't take it and put it in her book. :)
Thank you so much for your review!
*huggles* Report Review
I liked this chapter as well. You're continuing the practice of sharing only a little bit of information per each group very well- its certainly makes me more curious as to whats going on. I am a little confused though as to what year and house everyone is in and if they know each other at all but I'd imagine I'm meant to be that way at the moment?
I love the ending. Its vaguely threatening and this line;
"And the bird that at first had been captured by her song and her words was now contained within the golden cage she had brought with her there," is gorgeous, really really beautiful :)
I was just wondering as well where the song is from?
Keep up the good work :)
- Galawen xxAuthor's Response: Haha the thing is that I don't really know either and as I write I find new parts of my characters that I didn't know was there...
What I'm trying with my story is to have many layers... like one of those russian dolls, you think you know something but then there's another layer underneath which kind of changes most things of what you thought :)
I'm so happy that you liked the ending! haha I made the song myself so that made me a bit more nervous of how people would look at it :)
Thank you again
*huggles* Report Review
This seems like its going to be a really interesting story! I like the way you've built up a certain sense of tension throughout this chapter - bringing in something, developing it and then moving on before revealing too much. Your account of May's discovery of dark magic in the abandoned house reflects the tempting, alluring quality of that brand of magic very well I think :)
There are a few confusing sentences here and there such as,
“Hey Allie! Can you believe that they let Tom become our prefect?" but then a few lines later we're told; "Of course they made our Master headboy" so I'm just a little confused as to whether or not this is 7th year and Tom is headboy or 5th year and he's just been made a prefect? But overall its well-written :) Now on to the next chapter!
- GalawenAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review!
With May as a character I want to show that not everyone that uses dark arts would be entirely evil but maybe simply fascinated by them, and as it is a revealed art it can in fact just strengthen the desire to learn more about it...
Oh sorry I hadn't spotted that mistake myself, the story is set the year after the chamber of secrets was opened the first time so it's the year 1943 and Tom Riddle is in his 5th year, so he's a prefect :)
thank you so much for the review, I'm so happy that you thought it was interesting!
*huggles* Report Review
Hello! I got some time :)
I found this piece very sweet - like what I said before there was a poignant determination throughout that made it very compelling to read. I love that its such a simple action - spreading rumours to put it basically, but theres so much riding on it. All his emotion for his sister and the threat of repercussion build up inside of him and you write that very well.
"Waiting was the worst part. The anticipation of what might happen made it both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. Oh, he knew that the Carrows would catch him eventually. And when they did, he’d think that was the worst part"
I love those lines because its so true; when we're waiting for something bad we always feel like it would just be better to have it happen than the anticipation, but of course when it happens our minds change very quickly!
Anyway I really liked this and I have to say the words "For Katherine" stayed in my mind for a while :)
- GalawenAuthor's Response: It's really funny that you mentioned the waiting part. I was waiting for an important presentation to start and I was really nervous while I finished writing this story.
Thank you! I really loved the phrase "poingant determination" to describe this. Report Review
This is an absolutely gorgeous piece of writing. The descriptions are so indepth and detailed that it makes a reader really see the images. Sometimes when a writer tries to be desciptive they don't commit enough to it - so you get a load of words but no real meaning, but there is absolutely no hint of that here.
I love the name Flick because its absolute unremarkableness adds to the whole scene - there is no need for elaborate names to create a delicate and exquisite atmosphere. And I have to say that I LOVE your metaphor about the balloons. Such a simple and yet completely perfect description of an emotion.
10/10 :)Author's Response: Whoaaa. A review! :D Hihi Galawen!
You know, description is one of my absolute ~favourite~ things ever. I love it. This piece is sort of... based on that, I suppose, just because the scene was absolutely everything for me. So yay that it... worked? for the story. :)
The name Felicity/Flick/Fee took me forever to find. I tried a few different names, but could never find the one. When I found it, I knew it was the one. The actual name, along with the meaning, fit wonderfully with the character in my head.
The balloon metaphor... it was a tricky one. I wasn't entirely sure how that would come across. I figured it would either be a 'meh' or 'what the hell are you talking about' sort of thing. But it seems to be liked, so I'm happy about that! :)
Thank you so much for taking the time to review, I really appreciate it!
Taylor ♥ Report Review
Am why am I only reading this now?? What kind of travesty prevented me from noticing the fact that you my friend had an amazing story up here? Was it your lovely personality getting in the way? I think it may have been - you should do something about that.
ANYWAY crazyness aside I absolutely love this. Siriusly. Marauders is my favourite genre to read (and write!) and this has the potential to become one of my favourite stories of that category here. I really like the variety of friends you've given Quin and I already have suspicions about one or two of them =P
Words fail me at the creativeness of Quin's weight loss. Its so funny and original and although I'm not a fan of 'cures' yours is too damn inventive to dislike! I know the ships list Sirius/OC as one of them but I already have a hankering(just from the last bit of this chapter) to see Quin and Remus together!
I don't have anything much constructive to say really Tinmeister, except I really really really like this so far, cannot wait to see the scene that contains the lines from the summary, and to apologise once again for only now noticing your story! :)
- Galawan :)Author's Response: G-force! *tackles*
OMG! What brought you here? Hahaha. So nice of you to drop by and leave me this awesome review! I never expected this! Woah! *jumps around in excitement* Thank you very much, my dear! Heehee. No worries about reading this just now, though. Oooh. Lovely personality... *chuckles*
Oh my. You really know how to make me blush, woman! I'm really happy that you liked this story so far. And a potential favourite, you say? That's good! Let's hope I can manage to lose the potential status soon then. *fingers crossed* Marauder stories are not initially my fave, but as I researched about the era, it grew on me. Nowadays, I hear Marauders and I just get excited. They're really interesting to write, no? As students, they're pretty much OC's in a way. Speaking of, I'm happy to that you like the girls so far. Variety is good! Success! Heehee. I like my girls. It took me a while to pin each of them down (even Lily who, btw, was giving me some trouble before, because I failed at writing her as a student :P) because I want their personalities to be different from one another but not different enough for it to be impossible to work, you know? And gah! You already have suspicions? I have really sensitive readers! Haha. Hmm... I dunno whether your theories will be correct or not, but let's see. :P
Damn inventive? Thank you for saying that! You are far too kind. Heehee. I'll tell you a story. The disease was patterned to hypothyroidism and a little of thyroid cancer and I was actually studying for an exam when the idea for this story first came to me. I was having trouble memorizing the signs and symptoms for various thyroid diseases and thought to myself 'If only there's a way to memorize all this' and voila! Quin introduced herself. I imagined her to have all these manifestations that helped me remember and guess what? I aced that exam. *is smug* Heehee. Nothing like a study session to give you ridiculous plot bunnies, eh? :P
About Remus... *giggles* You're actually the second person to say that. But sadly, this really is a Sirius/Quin story. But hey! Maybe I can write some Remus/OC... someday... I wonder when will that be... :P
And don't apologize for finding my story just now. *hugs* I'm not really good with advertising my stories. lol I'm shy that way. :P I kinda know what you mean. I think a lot of people are rather surprised that I write, actually. You're not the only one. Don't worry! Again, I loff you and thank you very much for leaving me this review. You made me so happy! Yay! I'll see you around! ^_^ Report Review
I'm actually in shock at the moment. I found this story ages ago on some site somewhere and it became my first ever fanfiction. You literally pushed me into this amazing world and because of this story I found and became involved in this fantastic site. But I lost the link to the original site and never found your story until now. I'm ecstatic that I'm going to get to re-visit my first and favourite fanfic and I am 100% certain that this is going to become a huge hit here! Your characterisation of Rose and Scorpius has pretty much been the definitive one in my head and I'm just so happy that you're here!! :) :) :)
- xxAuthor's Response: I'm thrilled you found me here! :) Thank you so much for the lovely compliments. You definitely made my night!
A friend told me about this site and I came over to review her story and couldn't resist submitting this one when I saw how many stories were in the Rose/Scorpius category. Of course I've learned that stories list in *every* pairing category selected, not just the main pairing, but I'm choosing to view that as a wider base of potential readers. :D
Thank you, too, for saying I gave you a push into fan fiction. The world needs as many stories as it can get and I'm glad you're writing. ^_^ Report Review
When I finished this I had to run back to the contents page and make sure this wasn't a one-shot because I want to know more!
This is a seriously emotive chapter and you've instantly captivated me. Theres so many questions I have already like; Who was William's father, what's wrong with his mother(early onset Alzheimers? Or something else?) and of course who's at the door! You've created a world that I'm curious and already care about in one chapter and I love that. My favourite kind of stories are ones where I'm drawn in from the very beginning and you've achieved that.
I feel like the scene has been perfectly set in terms of era and situation so even when(if?!) William enters the magical world the reader is always going to have this glimpse of his former life with them because it was so memorably written. I mean lines like;
"She awkwardly returned the embrace, putting her arms around William's shoulders in a sort of crumpled bending of limbs, as if she wasn't totally sure of the action,"
are heartwrenching and I absolutely cannot wait to read more.
Also I have to say that your use of the RAF motto is brillant. I love it when authors use aspects of factual life within their stories, not sure why but it always seems to add to authenticity, even when talking about a world that doesn't exist or a time you've never experienced. Very well done :)
- Galawen.Author's Response: Thank you for your review, it's great to get one that you don't ask for :) Wow, now it's pressure to keep the standard going.
Will's mum is suffering from a sort of shell shock but I'll be talking more about that later. Now I better go and get working on the rest :)
Thanks again :)
Lex Report Review
I've seriously started to review this about 10 times in the past few days but then something pops up and I've to go! Finally getting around to it though!
And wow! Energy OVERLOAD!!! In a totally awseome way! Its weird, as soon as I read the description of Deora's house I instantly could picture the kind of family they were, so fantastic work there considering you only used a few words!
I'm so impressed that you're doing a story focusing on Peter because he is actually the hardest person for me personally to write so I am in awe that you're trying this. I don't have too much to say except again to commend you on, in one chapter, painting a precise image of the dynamics of the Grunnion family(well in my crazy mind anyway!)
Favourite line has to be "Just because your great great grandfather invented the Dungbomb does not mean we have to use a Dungbomb in our everyday life!"
I'll be back! (In a non-threatening way!)
- Galawen xxAuthor's Response: Hehe, awwe thank you Galawen for reviewing!! You are my 10th reviewer, have a cookie and a hug! :)
Annnd wow, thanks for such a lovely review! I'm so glad you could imagine the house and could already imagine the dynamics of the Grunnion household. I really wanted that to come across, because the bond in that family is really important for the rest of the story... And Peter is a hard character to write, because when I write, my characters always come off quite strong-minded, but Peter's not. He's timid and shy, but he cares a lot about his friends (ha ha the irony). So I'm hoping I can keep this up throughout the story! I'm already on Chapter 2, it is so very entertaining (to me) so I really do hope you come back! And ahh, another person liked that line as well! Hehe, I'm glad you do! Hopefully, there will be more lines you like ;-) Thanks again for an awesome review!! xx Report Review
Ok, I don't read song-fics and I don't read slash.
But this was incredible. I read the summary and despite my own reservations about the content and format something told me I wanted to read this. And I am so glad I did. You created such a realistic exploration of friendship and its development into something more that I was blown away. By the end of the piece I had such a strong impression of the characters of both Benji and Louis that I felt like I'd been reading a series of chapters detailing their personalities instead of a few words.
I thought that any opposition they may have was going to come from their families so I was utterly shocked, and heartbroken when I realised Louis was dead. I was so upset reading the letter because it always gets to me when people don't find time in life to say things that need to be said. No matter how much they're implied hearing Louis saying I Love You would have been much more happier for Benji I feel. So seeing those words in the letter must have been such a bittersweet experience. On the one hand at least he has confirmation of how Louis felt, but if only he could have heard them.
This was amazingly written and the aside about Dominique was touching too and still didn't retract from the overall theme. If there are more song-fics or slash pieces out there like this one I really should force myself out from my box, I'm missing out.
10,000/10.Author's Response: Thank you so much! Honestly, that review made my day. :D You're so kind, thank you!! --Jenna Report Review
Lol woah quite a different Remus to the usual "good, studious and calm" guy we see! Still I really liked what you did with his character. I kinda saw it that as soon as he stepped onto that nike he lost all inhibitions and just went with the flow for once.
Nice play with Mustang Sally btw ;) and I loved how at the end Sirius made sure his friend was ok, THEN decided to deal with the whole theft issue! There were like one or two tense changes that I noticed but they were tiny and I can barely remember them.
Well done! :)Author's Response: Thank you im glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Wow in so little words you managed to get create, for me at least, a complete impression of Marlene's character and their relationship. I'm assuming the line:
"A thousand drained corpses and prayers for mercy can't drag me from him" is the one you were given? You did a fantastic job of encorporating it into the story. The whole piece followed the atmosphere of reluctance and regret that those words inspire and of course how fitting seeing as Travers did eventually tur Marlene into a corpse: effectively forcing her to leave him forever.
Well done! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for your great review! ItÃ¢Â€Â™s really a great compliment to me that you think that! Well actually no it wasnÃ¢Â€Â™t given to me. You had to make one yourself. But he IÃ¢Â€Â™m still glad you think I did a fantastic job of encorporating it into the story. Well itÃ¢Â€Â™s fitting if you put it like that seeing he did turn her in a corpse. I didnÃ¢Â€Â™t look at it that way but it fits.
I can't remember the storyline to Friends at all and so I was SCREAMING at her not to give up on her dream and to stay behind. Then I read on and phew! I also realised that screaming at my computer screen is not going to change a thing!
Nice take on the Teddy/Victoire story; changing it from its picture-perfectness to something different. Even though I too am wondering why Teddy thinks he has the right to be jealous!
The only thing I was a bit iffy about was her leaving Teddy's, and then going back so quickly. I kinda wished the solution would have come to her while she was with him the first time or that he had decided it himself.
Still thats only a small thing that my nit-picking nature focused on and I really liked the rest :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!
Haha, well in Friends, Ross professes her love for her and she leaves anyway and then changes her mind and comes back so that was me following the storyline; but I do understand why you were iffy about it... Victoire is very indecisive in my mind.
Ross was the jealous type too and he was the one who cheated even if they were "on a break." :D
Screaming at the screen is something I do too, same with TV, why can't the characters hear us?!
Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
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