Reading Reviews From Member: Jet LaBarge
  
155 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jet LaBargeMature Scenes of a Sexual Nature Tutorial: Mature Scenes of a Sexual Nature Tutorial

21st March 2014:
I know I have read this before, but it is good to read it again.

Jet LaBarge

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Review #2, by Jet LaBargeRape/Sexual Assault Reference Tutorial: Rape/Sexual Assault Reference Tutorial

21st March 2014:
Excellent tutorial. I know I push the limits sometimes. I really am not trying to go over your boundaries. This helps.

Jet LaBarge

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Review #3, by Jet LaBargeProfanity Tutorial: Mature: Mature Profanity Tutorial

21st March 2014:
I try not to use a lot of profanity. Even my profane characters I try to make milder than what people consider real profane these days. I appreciate another lesson on what is and is not allowed.

Jet LaBarge

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Review #4, by Jet LaBargeChild/Spouse Abuse Reference Tutorial: Child/Spouse Abuse Reference Tutorial

21st March 2014:
Re read this story again.


Jet LaBarge

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Review #5, by Jet LaBargeViolence Tutorial: Violence Tutorial

21st March 2014:
Re read this.
Jet LaBarge

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Review #6, by Jet LaBargeHolly and the Mistletoe: Holly and the Mistletoe

19th December 2013:
Very well written. Deserves a review.

Author's Response: I'm very honoured that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)

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Review #7, by Jet LaBargeGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 6

2nd December 2013:
I am a great fan of all your writing, including this story.

Some time ago I reviewed your fantastic story "Yes Ginevra, there is a Santa Claus." I know I asked if I could refer to the incident in my stories, since it has become part of my "head canon." I know you gave me permission.

I have the doll house and a reference to the story in the latest chapter of my "Bad Guys and Broomsticks" story, and gave you credit. I received a message from tellmewhatthetruthis-staff letting me know that:
1 Dec 13: You may not use work from other author's unless you have evidence of their permission. The original author must get in touch with staff in order to express this permission. -tmwtti

I do not know how to get in touch with you except through reviews, and don't know if an answer to this review would be good enough. I'm not hard to find if you search the internet.

I would appreciate your permission again.

Jet LaBarge

Author's Response: I hope this worked out for you. I contacted the staff and gave them my permission for you to use the reference, so I hope you were able to put your chapter up the way you wanted. Thanks again for your loyatly and support!

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Review #8, by Jet LaBargeGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 3

23rd September 2013:
The easy stuff is the carefully crafted story. The glasses. New glasses shouted out as strange and different from their first mention, and Dumbledore mentions them again. There is magic in the glasses, and I would guess in Sadie's sight in some way. And "That thing," not the marks or the inability to talk but something. So many things, bad things that touched Sadie.

"But somewhere, buried deep inside, a little girl's belief in light and goodness had survived; the knowledge that love existed and there was more to life than pain and suffering. It's what made her fight to stay alive, to claw her way back up each time she felt she couldn't go on."

The Author in me wants to know how the story is crafted. But the father and grandfather, the human being, wants to know where Sadie came from. In our extended family, two sisters. Mother in the mental ward of Danbury Federal Prison; I really don't have to say any more. One got mad and survived. One bottled up everything, and despite almost being our 5th child, living with my daughter for a while and in our town, at our house Sundays, never opened up, never became that little girl who could trust. She ate and smoke and we had to turn off the respirator when she was 35.

You are a teacher. Sadie has to be, at least in some way, students that struggled and struggle with things that most people don't see. Students that survive and thrive despite horrible odds, and ones that fail despite seemingly having all the advantages.

Why not being able to speak? Just a plot device, or some familiarity with people who have a hard time communicating. Do you know some American Sign? My blind friend from college said that blindness was much less a handicap than deafness. Deafness was lonely. Being unable to talk is lonely.

"Sadie McLauchlin, you can do this. You'll see. You will rise, like a ph**nix from the ashes, and someday you will burn bright with life and hope again."

Somebody has to believe in you. I have not written anything but some post-Hogwarts stories, but I am sure there are good pre-Hogwarts stories to be written. There has to be a teacher or two who believed in Harry to have him turn out the way he did.

As a teacher have you had a Sadie or two? I certainly hope so. Have you helped someone find hope?

"For the first time in at least five years, her words finally escaped their prison in her mind.
And she had reclaimed her name."

Is this from teaching, or from personal experience? Only an adult who has lived through really tough times, either themselves or through others, could write this.

I look forward to the rest of the story. You HAD to write this. I apologize if I am getting to personal in asking why, and I will understand if you don’t answer.

Jet LaBarge

Author's Response: I am honored that my story is touching you in some way. I've waited for a long time to respond to this because I didn't quite know what to say.

I do love this story, and it means a lot to me, and I feel like Sadie really wants her story told. And I'm happy it is somehow touching so many people, you included.

But, as for it somehow being my story, or the story of someone I know, even indirectly - I'm sorry but it's not. I'm just a girl with a good imagination who feels like somehow there is a soothing power in words.

Thanks again for reading. I'm taking a small break right now to get through a real life event that happens in the fall, but I should be back in December.

- Farmgirl


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Review #9, by Jet LaBargeGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Prologue

10th September 2013:
I am very glad you are writing again. This story is compelling, heart rendering, and good!

I think you lost your way in "Healing." "Coming Home" was one of the best chapters of fiction I have ever read. I read it again, and it brought tears to my eyes all over again. But you don't seem to have a plot, a goal, that you HAVE to get to in that story.

Somehow the story of Sadie McLauchlin is in you and it needs to get out, needs to be told. I can already feel that you have an urgency, a goal, some sort of resolve that you have to get to with this story.

Thank you!

Jet LaBarge

Author's Response: I'm so very glad to be writing again as well! And I'm so glad you have you along for the ride on this story. I'll admit, there is something about this story that seems to be compelling me to write it. Not sure why, but it's true. And, I feel very attached to Sadie, even though she's just a character.

And you are pretty correct about Healing as well. I DO still plan to finish it, but the story ended up having such a different tone to it than I envisioned when I started that I've decided I need to re-think my outline. I did have a plot and an outline, it just changed. I haven't had the time I need yet to sit down and really figure out where I want the story to go now. Hopefully, someday I will get that chance.

Again, thanks so very much for reading! Your reviews always make me smile.


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Review #10, by Jet LaBargeGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 2

30th August 2013:
You are one of the few authors I follow. I like this story! It is typical of the Weasley family to take someone else in. Families with one or two children seem more reluctant to have anyone interrupt their "perfect" life, but many big families always have room for one more.

I'm going to see how closely you can stay true to canon with this story. I think you can, since Sadie's story is parallel to the main plot of the Harry Potter series.

Jet LaBarge

Author's Response: Wow. Thank you! I'm honored! And I'm so glad you like this new story. I love writing about the Weasleys, as I'm sure you've been able to tell by now, and I agree - I think they are just the sort of family to take someone in.

I will try to stay as true to canon as I can, with the exception of the things I noted in my beginning Author's Note. Thanks for reading! Hope you'll stick with me.

Oh, and if you're interested, I just put the next chapter up.


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Review #11, by Jet LaBargeMidnight Over Broadway: Welcome Home

27th April 2013:
Just had to read the story to the finish.

I love your Ron and Hermione. Still bickering, still deeply in love. Hermione is still the over achiever over organized one, and of course something had to replace the beaded handbag.

Excellent story, again. Wasted the whole evening reading it from the beginning.

Jet LaBarge

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I love writing Ron and Hermione, so I'm very pleased to hear you liked my characterization of them. You know my love for canon! Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #12, by Jet LaBargeRecipe for Disaster: A Recipe for Disaster

24th January 2013:
I'm glad you are back! I have been looking for a new story from you. Keep writing.

Oh, the story is very funny too.

Author's Response: Thank you! It's good to be back!

I'm having some technical issues (my flashdrive with all my stories died) so it may be a bit before I start updated unfinished fics again, but I'm working on it! It's nice to know I still have readers out there!

Thanks! It was fun to write!


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Review #13, by Jet LaBargeSleepless: Chapter One

26th November 2012:
I'm thrilled you have a beta. It does fantastic things to your writing. The harder your beta is on you the better, I find. The fabulous Mrs_Granger was my first beta, but that didn't last. She is too busy. LadymBlack is my beta now, and we are going over my entire story chapter by chapter, re-writing it again. I also have an Irish beta that is checking for 'Americanisms.'

I had to find you again to find Maybe Someday. Although it will be months before Ron and Hermione's wedding is posted much of it is written. It owes a lot to Maybe Someday, and I do mention you and the story in the Authors Notes.

This story is delightful! Great writing and at least as far as I am concerned really true to canon. Northumbrian (Fanfiction dot net) has a fantastic story The Mind of Arthur Weasley where he talks about Ron and Hermione. As he says in the story, they can't leave each other alone. Each is fascinated by the other. You show the beginnings of that beautifully in this chapter.

I have to get back to work, but over the next few days I will read the rest of your chapters.

JetLaBarge

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Review #14, by Jet LaBargeMidnight Over Broadway: More Weasley

19th May 2012:
I owe you a review, since I first read this Friday. Just too busy.

After promising to give the sex of the baby in the first chapter you made us wait over half the chapter, and even teased us for two and a half paragraphs once Rose saw little Ramses. Good job!

Still want to see great grandmother Malfoy's reaction to Ramses. I hope he has a little of Jonny Lupin in him when he goes over to the Malfoy house for dinner.

Jet

Author's Response: Haha, it was fun to drag that out a bit. It's a boy! Woot!

I'm not sure if a visit to the Malfoys will fit in this story but if it doesn't, I promise to write a one-shot for it. :) Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #15, by Jet LaBargeNext Midnight: Weasley-Malfoy

12th May 2012:
What do you mean, "don't throw things at you." After not giving us the sex of the baby you deserve to have things thrown at you!

How many chapters into "Midnight over Broadway" are we going to have to go before the sex of the baby is revealed? Or is it how many of these stories are you going to write until we finally find out?

Reminds me of a jump rope song from grade school, "it's not a boy, it's not a girl, it's just an ordinary baby. Wrap it up in tissue paper send it down the elevator first floor second floor ... " and on until somebody missed.

Lots of possibilities with the Malfoy family's reaction to the baby. Of course the name would have to be unusual, and would have to make the Malfoy family upset. They ought to get married and use a hyphenated last name.

Jet

Author's Response: lol. First chapter, I promise.

Oh, so many possibilities for the Malfoys... I may have to do a one-shot later to show the initial introduction to them, but at some point we'll definitely get to see the Malfoys interact with a half-Weasley grandchild.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #16, by Jet LaBargeNext Midnight: Delivery

4th May 2012:
Nice chapter.

First babies usually take longer. 24 hours for our first. By baby 4 my wife almost had him in our back yard. Labor was easy, and she put off doing anything because we had an appointment with the OB scheduled anyway. Of course when he saw how far along she was he sent her right over to the delivery room, where she proceeded to have two massive contractions and deliver a black and blue baby, bruised from being slammed through the birth canal so fast and hard.

Easiest labor ever.

Anyone who says newborns are pretty has not seen many brand new babies. They get prettier quickly, but the first minutes and hours they are rather squished little things.

Much better than the birth scenes that you can tell have been written by a teen age girl who has never been close to an actual birth.

Now, how will nasty Grandma Malfoy handle the great-grandchild, and the mother of the great-grandchild. Lots of potential for conflict.

Glad to see Scorpius' career doing well.

Jet

Author's Response: Yep, on average they go longer. Not always, of course. Subsequent babies do like to come faster a lot too - my mom says she had two big contractions and poof, there I was, and I was only her second. Apparently we've got good short labor genes on her side ;)

Newborns do look squashed! I got a real kick out of describing Victoire's newborn son as looking like her husband would if he wore a stocking over his head (like a bank robber) XD They look like wrinkly, smushed old men. But when it's your own newborn you also see the cute baby, you know?

Birth scenes written by grown-ups for the win ;)

Thanks for the review!


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Review #17, by Jet LaBargeNext Midnight: Chaos

28th April 2012:
Another funny chapter. "and the timber of his voice sounded richer!!" Scorpius is a lot more masculine than some people think he is, just arty and caring with a lot of the personality traits that some people associate with females. He seems very secure in who he is at this point. I'm glad that he is finally finding his calling as an artist, and finding a way to make a living at it.

Rose ought to marry Scorpius just to spite her father-in-law and grandmother-in-law, but with only two more chapters to go that's not going to happen. Probably not going to happen until Rose has another child or two. Between skip-tracing, of course.


JetLaBarge

Author's Response: Haha, oh that is probably only in his head, he's just super happy right now. He actually is more masculine than he's given credit for, and despite being rather lazy career-wise, he's a pretty stand-up guy, and he is secure in himself which is a very good thing. He's starting off his career finally. Should've tried portraits a while back instead of being a landscape artist ;)

It would be entertaining to have them marry, just to see Draco's reaction. He'd be hoping for a divorce then instead of a break-up. ha. Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #18, by Jet LaBargeA Time to Live: Chapter 6: The Engagement

28th April 2012:
To Ladymblack, Maria Mia Cloos, Friday, April 27, 2012

Dear Maria,

Can Muggles use the floo network? I would think you would have to have some magic in you to use the floo.

I don't think British houses have basements. The kitchen is on the lowest floor, or ground floor. That is the floor below the first floor, I think.

They are young, but some Wizards do get married at a young age.

Jet LaBarge

Author's Response: I think that Muggles could only use the Floo Network if they were "brought along for the ride" by a witch or wizard. If not, oops!

As to British houses not having basements, that might be true. However, Jo consistently refers to the kitchen at Grimmauld Place as being in the basement. I just confirmed that it wasn't an American revision by checking my British edition of DH.

Although Harry and Ginny are indeed young, I think that they have been through enough and grown up enough that they know their own minds and themselves (two prerequisites for a good marriage). And, as you pointed out, it would seem that the Wizarding population does seem to marry quite young (or very old, as in McGonagall's case).


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Review #19, by Jet LaBargeIn the Words of Ginevra Molly Potter: The Girl Who Loved

25th April 2012:
It's hard to read much when you are writing a story, and when you have a full time job and are starting another company besides it's even harder, but my beta Ladymblack recommended you. I have been slowly reading this, and just had to review this chapter.

This story deserves to be in the modest selection of stories that ought to be saved and read. You do a beautiful job of staying true to the books and canon and showing the story from Ginny's point of view.

Thank you for writing it.

JetLaBarge

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Review #20, by Jet LaBargeNext Midnight: Contagious

15th April 2012:
Rose and Scorpius spend three weeks mostly high on rum, wearing almost nothing during the day and, I would expect, even less at night. Whatever witches do to keep from getting pregnant, Rose obviously forgot to do. Likewise if Scorpius is the one taking precautions he obviously forgot.
Mistakes are the most frequent cause of people.

In all your Rose/Scorpius stories you have not yet shown little scenes with Rose and Scorpius meeting just with Ron and Hermione, or meeting just with Draco and Astoria.
Very interested in seeing how you are writing those scenes.

I cannot imagine either of the fathers being at all happy!

Is Draco going to end up taking care of the baby? Or is Rose going to take some time off? Eventually, when the child is weaned, Rose has to go back to her chosen profession.

I hope you have them get married. I can imagine two or three hilarious chapters, where you skewer every stupid wedding tradition. Ron walking Rose down the aisle and giving her to MALFOY! How could you do that without Ron using language Momotwins never uses?

Scorpius marrying a half-breed, and daughter of Granger to boot!

I'm sure Roxanne could arrange the music for the wedding. Maybe with Scorpius painting them the Weird Sisters could even play. Hold the wedding with all the strange characters you can pull out from your stories, at Malfoy Manor?

Only 7 chapters?

JetLaBarge

Author's Response: "Mistakes are the most frequent cause of people." - totally made me smile. So funny and true.

They have met with just Draco and Astoria - dinner with them in JAMR. They don't have much to do with Scorpius's parents. I was thinking they had been in scenes with just Ron and Hermione several times with dinners at her parents', but I think Hugo was always around so you might be right there. Rose had a solo scene with her parents though, when she catches them kissing in Ron's office. Hermione doesn't stick around long there though. Anyway.

Neither will really be happy, no, but remember Rose and Scorpius have been together for over 10 years at this point. Ron and Draco are sort of used to the idea of their being together, although both always hope they'll break up.

Oh Draco would be so angry if they got married. lol... That would be fun to write, wouldn't it? I did think it was hilarious for you to mention language I never use, cause I really don't cuss much in my writing, but I have the biggest potty-mouth ever in person. Odd, but there you go.

Yes, seven chapters - this is just a short story. Writing 30,000 words about pregnancy would get boring after a while, since Rose isn't working and there's no relationship conflict - she and Scorpius are pretty settled - really there's no need to go into every detail.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #21, by Jet LaBargeNext Midnight: Wedding Disasters

11th April 2012:
OK, Scorpius is beginning to make money from his painting,
Rose is becoming almost sort of good at her job as a bounty hunter.
So they blow the first big commission on a vacation.
Is marriage and respectability right around the corner?
With ROSE?
What delicious possibilities a Weasley/Malfoy wedding would bring.
The loving parents! Ron and Draco happily planning the wedding.

Of course only Rose would have a child to compare to Johnny Lupin.
Plus a married Rose and Scorpius doesn't solve any of the problems that causes Rose to get into trouble, and probably makes Ron and Draco even more uncomfortable.

I can't wait to see what you do with this one.

JetLaBarge

Author's Response: It's about time someone paid him, eh? He should've been doing portraits instead of landscapes. Rose is always Rose - she was better than she thought. Maybe she's a bit more confident now. Respectability? Never ;)

It would make the poor dads more uncomfortable, wouldn't it?

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #22, by Jet LaBargeA Time to Live: Chapter 5: Dudley's Adventure

10th April 2012:
Ladymblack
Ch 4, already reviewed so I have to add it here

You could use more diaper changing. Maybe a little spitting up. I know when I got up in the middle of the night the normal routine was that I changed a diaper, Karen fed the baby, and then I changed the diaper again.
Love how Kreacher is key to rebuilding the Burrow!
I don't have Harry with nightmares. You are doing a good job with this part of Harry's psyche.
One part of your story I remember well is George and Harry at the funeral. Very well done.
I like Dudley becoming friends with Harry, and you are not canon unless Vernon never changes. Petunia is more complex, and can be written several different ways.

Chapter 5

I love what you've done with Dudley in this chapter. Susan Bones; who would have thought.
I think giving away money wisely is a little harder than you have it. Maybe as part of the story line it's OK.

JetLaBarge

Author's Response: You know, I do wish I'd done more with Teddy (diaper changes and such), although I have nowhere near the knowledge (and experience) that you do. I wouldn't mind tweaking some things, although my goal at the moment is to finish it, lol.

I couldn't imagine Harry not having nightmares after all of that; all of them really. Dudley was so much fun to write because I found myself laughing at so much of it.

As for Harry and his money, it really is a much bigger job than I suggest. Your method for dealing with it is much more interesting too.


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Review #23, by Jet LaBargeA Time to Live: Chapter 3: The Plan and New Beginnings

10th April 2012:
Ladymblack
First criticisms. I think Arthur and Molly would be happy that Ginny and Molly were together, but I also think they would be more concerned about how quickly they would move from boyfriend and girlfriend to sex, especially considering their ages. If you were to re-write this I would try to put yourself into the mind of the parents. Maybe it's easier for me to do, having had a what I call post-mature wedding in our family. (The baby was not early, the wedding was just a little late.)
It's not a good idea for a baby to sleep in the same bed as the parents. It's a nice idea, but you are probably better off having him sleep in the crib.
Of course you could have Ron much more worried about Harry and Ginny and sex; take your own advice about using Ron for humor.

JetLaBarge

Author's Response: Yeah, I suppose I would have assumed that Molly had "had the talk" with Ginny and would have been rather frank about it. I should probably say something to that effect though, or even have Harry and Ginny discuss it. Thanks for the idea!

And it's certainly funnier that it's Ron who's so uptight about everything, lol.


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Review #24, by Jet LaBargeA Time to Live: Chapter 2: Golden & Silver Trios

10th April 2012:
Ladymblack
Who can forget Golden and Silver Trios.
Mistress Ginny? Not Miss Weasley or Miss Ginny?
You need an award ceremony. I know you have it a year before I have it. Nice ceremony.
It's hard to portray the Weasley family. There is of course sorrow over the loss of Fred, and George has a special problem.
How is Molly going to handle Ginny and Harry? She is going to be happy they are together, but Ginny is only 16.
I find it very interesting that we both have Harry and Ginny taking care of Teddy right away. Teddy is part of Harry’s life, but just how much, as maybe closer than most godchildren but like a nephew, or really like another son, or something in between, is something we do not know from Rowling.

JetLaBarge

Author's Response: Ah, Kreacher recognizes the fact that Ginny will be his mistress, even before she, Harry or anyone else does. We'll see how this works much, much later in the story.

I never like fics that just gloss over Teddy. Harry would NEVER allow his orphaned god-child to grow up without him. Based on the books, it's a reasonable assumption that Harry would give Teddy everything that he hadn't had as a child. So, really, Jo has given us a good indication of what would have happened, in my opinion anyway.


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Review #25, by Jet LaBargeA Time to Live: Chapter 1: One Long Day

10th April 2012:
Ladymblack
You and I have talked about how our stories are similar as well as different. We both see the chaos after the battle, not just all sweetness and light. We both see Harry and Ginny getting back together reasonably quickly. We also both see Kreacher as someone who has value.
I have just read some of your other reviews. I am going to be rereading your story, and I know enjoying it.

JetLaBarge

Author's Response: Indeed, my friend, I think we have both seen a lot of the same things from the fantastic books that we read and can imagine what might happen. I look forward to hearing what you think as you progress through the story.

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