Just had to read the story to the finish.
I love your Ron and Hermione. Still bickering, still deeply in love. Hermione is still the over achiever over organized one, and of course something had to replace the beaded handbag.
Excellent story, again. Wasted the whole evening reading it from the beginning.
Jet LaBargeAuthor's Response: Aw thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I love writing Ron and Hermione, so I'm very pleased to hear you liked my characterization of them. You know my love for canon! Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
I'm glad you are back! I have been looking for a new story from you. Keep writing.
Oh, the story is very funny too.Author's Response: Thank you! It's good to be back!
I'm having some technical issues (my flashdrive with all my stories died) so it may be a bit before I start updated unfinished fics again, but I'm working on it! It's nice to know I still have readers out there!
Thanks! It was fun to write! Report Review
I'm thrilled you have a beta. It does fantastic things to your writing. The harder your beta is on you the better, I find. The fabulous Mrs_Granger was my first beta, but that didn't last. She is too busy. LadymBlack is my beta now, and we are going over my entire story chapter by chapter, re-writing it again. I also have an Irish beta that is checking for 'Americanisms.'
I had to find you again to find Maybe Someday. Although it will be months before Ron and Hermione's wedding is posted much of it is written. It owes a lot to Maybe Someday, and I do mention you and the story in the Authors Notes.
This story is delightful! Great writing and at least as far as I am concerned really true to canon. Northumbrian (Fanfiction dot net) has a fantastic story The Mind of Arthur Weasley where he talks about Ron and Hermione. As he says in the story, they can't leave each other alone. Each is fascinated by the other. You show the beginnings of that beautifully in this chapter.
I have to get back to work, but over the next few days I will read the rest of your chapters.
JetLaBarge Report Review
I owe you a review, since I first read this Friday. Just too busy.
After promising to give the sex of the baby in the first chapter you made us wait over half the chapter, and even teased us for two and a half paragraphs once Rose saw little Ramses. Good job!
Still want to see great grandmother Malfoy's reaction to Ramses. I hope he has a little of Jonny Lupin in him when he goes over to the Malfoy house for dinner.
JetAuthor's Response: Haha, it was fun to drag that out a bit. It's a boy! Woot!
I'm not sure if a visit to the Malfoys will fit in this story but if it doesn't, I promise to write a one-shot for it. :) Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
What do you mean, "don't throw things at you." After not giving us the sex of the baby you deserve to have things thrown at you!
How many chapters into "Midnight over Broadway" are we going to have to go before the sex of the baby is revealed? Or is it how many of these stories are you going to write until we finally find out?
Reminds me of a jump rope song from grade school, "it's not a boy, it's not a girl, it's just an ordinary baby. Wrap it up in tissue paper send it down the elevator first floor second floor ... " and on until somebody missed.
Lots of possibilities with the Malfoy family's reaction to the baby. Of course the name would have to be unusual, and would have to make the Malfoy family upset. They ought to get married and use a hyphenated last name.
JetAuthor's Response: lol. First chapter, I promise.
Oh, so many possibilities for the Malfoys... I may have to do a one-shot later to show the initial introduction to them, but at some point we'll definitely get to see the Malfoys interact with a half-Weasley grandchild.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
First babies usually take longer. 24 hours for our first. By baby 4 my wife almost had him in our back yard. Labor was easy, and she put off doing anything because we had an appointment with the OB scheduled anyway. Of course when he saw how far along she was he sent her right over to the delivery room, where she proceeded to have two massive contractions and deliver a black and blue baby, bruised from being slammed through the birth canal so fast and hard.
Easiest labor ever.
Anyone who says newborns are pretty has not seen many brand new babies. They get prettier quickly, but the first minutes and hours they are rather squished little things.
Much better than the birth scenes that you can tell have been written by a teen age girl who has never been close to an actual birth.
Now, how will nasty Grandma Malfoy handle the great-grandchild, and the mother of the great-grandchild. Lots of potential for conflict.
Glad to see Scorpius' career doing well.
JetAuthor's Response: Yep, on average they go longer. Not always, of course. Subsequent babies do like to come faster a lot too - my mom says she had two big contractions and poof, there I was, and I was only her second. Apparently we've got good short labor genes on her side ;)
Newborns do look squashed! I got a real kick out of describing Victoire's newborn son as looking like her husband would if he wore a stocking over his head (like a bank robber) XD They look like wrinkly, smushed old men. But when it's your own newborn you also see the cute baby, you know?
Birth scenes written by grown-ups for the win ;)
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Another funny chapter. "and the timber of his voice sounded richer!!" Scorpius is a lot more masculine than some people think he is, just arty and caring with a lot of the personality traits that some people associate with females. He seems very secure in who he is at this point. I'm glad that he is finally finding his calling as an artist, and finding a way to make a living at it.
Rose ought to marry Scorpius just to spite her father-in-law and grandmother-in-law, but with only two more chapters to go that's not going to happen. Probably not going to happen until Rose has another child or two. Between skip-tracing, of course.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: Haha, oh that is probably only in his head, he's just super happy right now. He actually is more masculine than he's given credit for, and despite being rather lazy career-wise, he's a pretty stand-up guy, and he is secure in himself which is a very good thing. He's starting off his career finally. Should've tried portraits a while back instead of being a landscape artist ;)
It would be entertaining to have them marry, just to see Draco's reaction. He'd be hoping for a divorce then instead of a break-up. ha. Thank you so much for reviewing! Report Review
To Ladymblack, Maria Mia Cloos, Friday, April 27, 2012
Can Muggles use the floo network? I would think you would have to have some magic in you to use the floo.
I don't think British houses have basements. The kitchen is on the lowest floor, or ground floor. That is the floor below the first floor, I think.
They are young, but some Wizards do get married at a young age.
Jet LaBargeAuthor's Response: I think that Muggles could only use the Floo Network if they were "brought along for the ride" by a witch or wizard. If not, oops!
As to British houses not having basements, that might be true. However, Jo consistently refers to the kitchen at Grimmauld Place as being in the basement. I just confirmed that it wasn't an American revision by checking my British edition of DH.
Although Harry and Ginny are indeed young, I think that they have been through enough and grown up enough that they know their own minds and themselves (two prerequisites for a good marriage). And, as you pointed out, it would seem that the Wizarding population does seem to marry quite young (or very old, as in McGonagall's case). Report Review
It's hard to read much when you are writing a story, and when you have a full time job and are starting another company besides it's even harder, but my beta Ladymblack recommended you. I have been slowly reading this, and just had to review this chapter.
This story deserves to be in the modest selection of stories that ought to be saved and read. You do a beautiful job of staying true to the books and canon and showing the story from Ginny's point of view.
Thank you for writing it.
JetLaBarge Report Review
Rose and Scorpius spend three weeks mostly high on rum, wearing almost nothing during the day and, I would expect, even less at night. Whatever witches do to keep from getting pregnant, Rose obviously forgot to do. Likewise if Scorpius is the one taking precautions he obviously forgot.
Mistakes are the most frequent cause of people.
In all your Rose/Scorpius stories you have not yet shown little scenes with Rose and Scorpius meeting just with Ron and Hermione, or meeting just with Draco and Astoria.
Very interested in seeing how you are writing those scenes.
I cannot imagine either of the fathers being at all happy!
Is Draco going to end up taking care of the baby? Or is Rose going to take some time off? Eventually, when the child is weaned, Rose has to go back to her chosen profession.
I hope you have them get married. I can imagine two or three hilarious chapters, where you skewer every stupid wedding tradition. Ron walking Rose down the aisle and giving her to MALFOY! How could you do that without Ron using language Momotwins never uses?
Scorpius marrying a half-breed, and daughter of Granger to boot!
I'm sure Roxanne could arrange the music for the wedding. Maybe with Scorpius painting them the Weird Sisters could even play. Hold the wedding with all the strange characters you can pull out from your stories, at Malfoy Manor?
Only 7 chapters?
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: "Mistakes are the most frequent cause of people." - totally made me smile. So funny and true.
They have met with just Draco and Astoria - dinner with them in JAMR. They don't have much to do with Scorpius's parents. I was thinking they had been in scenes with just Ron and Hermione several times with dinners at her parents', but I think Hugo was always around so you might be right there. Rose had a solo scene with her parents though, when she catches them kissing in Ron's office. Hermione doesn't stick around long there though. Anyway.
Neither will really be happy, no, but remember Rose and Scorpius have been together for over 10 years at this point. Ron and Draco are sort of used to the idea of their being together, although both always hope they'll break up.
Oh Draco would be so angry if they got married. lol... That would be fun to write, wouldn't it? I did think it was hilarious for you to mention language I never use, cause I really don't cuss much in my writing, but I have the biggest potty-mouth ever in person. Odd, but there you go.
Yes, seven chapters - this is just a short story. Writing 30,000 words about pregnancy would get boring after a while, since Rose isn't working and there's no relationship conflict - she and Scorpius are pretty settled - really there's no need to go into every detail.
Thank you so much for reviewing! Report Review
OK, Scorpius is beginning to make money from his painting,
Rose is becoming almost sort of good at her job as a bounty hunter.
So they blow the first big commission on a vacation.
Is marriage and respectability right around the corner?
What delicious possibilities a Weasley/Malfoy wedding would bring.
The loving parents! Ron and Draco happily planning the wedding.
Of course only Rose would have a child to compare to Johnny Lupin.
Plus a married Rose and Scorpius doesn't solve any of the problems that causes Rose to get into trouble, and probably makes Ron and Draco even more uncomfortable.
I can't wait to see what you do with this one.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: It's about time someone paid him, eh? He should've been doing portraits instead of landscapes. Rose is always Rose - she was better than she thought. Maybe she's a bit more confident now. Respectability? Never ;)
It would make the poor dads more uncomfortable, wouldn't it?
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Ch 4, already reviewed so I have to add it here
You could use more diaper changing. Maybe a little spitting up. I know when I got up in the middle of the night the normal routine was that I changed a diaper, Karen fed the baby, and then I changed the diaper again.
Love how Kreacher is key to rebuilding the Burrow!
I don't have Harry with nightmares. You are doing a good job with this part of Harry's psyche.
One part of your story I remember well is George and Harry at the funeral. Very well done.
I like Dudley becoming friends with Harry, and you are not canon unless Vernon never changes. Petunia is more complex, and can be written several different ways.
I love what you've done with Dudley in this chapter. Susan Bones; who would have thought.
I think giving away money wisely is a little harder than you have it. Maybe as part of the story line it's OK.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: You know, I do wish I'd done more with Teddy (diaper changes and such), although I have nowhere near the knowledge (and experience) that you do. I wouldn't mind tweaking some things, although my goal at the moment is to finish it, lol.
I couldn't imagine Harry not having nightmares after all of that; all of them really. Dudley was so much fun to write because I found myself laughing at so much of it.
As for Harry and his money, it really is a much bigger job than I suggest. Your method for dealing with it is much more interesting too. Report Review
First criticisms. I think Arthur and Molly would be happy that Ginny and Molly were together, but I also think they would be more concerned about how quickly they would move from boyfriend and girlfriend to sex, especially considering their ages. If you were to re-write this I would try to put yourself into the mind of the parents. Maybe it's easier for me to do, having had a what I call post-mature wedding in our family. (The baby was not early, the wedding was just a little late.)
It's not a good idea for a baby to sleep in the same bed as the parents. It's a nice idea, but you are probably better off having him sleep in the crib.
Of course you could have Ron much more worried about Harry and Ginny and sex; take your own advice about using Ron for humor.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: Yeah, I suppose I would have assumed that Molly had "had the talk" with Ginny and would have been rather frank about it. I should probably say something to that effect though, or even have Harry and Ginny discuss it. Thanks for the idea!
And it's certainly funnier that it's Ron who's so uptight about everything, lol. Report Review
Who can forget Golden and Silver Trios.
Mistress Ginny? Not Miss Weasley or Miss Ginny?
You need an award ceremony. I know you have it a year before I have it. Nice ceremony.
It's hard to portray the Weasley family. There is of course sorrow over the loss of Fred, and George has a special problem.
How is Molly going to handle Ginny and Harry? She is going to be happy they are together, but Ginny is only 16.
I find it very interesting that we both have Harry and Ginny taking care of Teddy right away. Teddy is part of Harryís life, but just how much, as maybe closer than most godchildren but like a nephew, or really like another son, or something in between, is something we do not know from Rowling.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: Ah, Kreacher recognizes the fact that Ginny will be his mistress, even before she, Harry or anyone else does. We'll see how this works much, much later in the story.
I never like fics that just gloss over Teddy. Harry would NEVER allow his orphaned god-child to grow up without him. Based on the books, it's a reasonable assumption that Harry would give Teddy everything that he hadn't had as a child. So, really, Jo has given us a good indication of what would have happened, in my opinion anyway. Report Review
You and I have talked about how our stories are similar as well as different. We both see the chaos after the battle, not just all sweetness and light. We both see Harry and Ginny getting back together reasonably quickly. We also both see Kreacher as someone who has value.
I have just read some of your other reviews. I am going to be rereading your story, and I know enjoying it.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: Indeed, my friend, I think we have both seen a lot of the same things from the fantastic books that we read and can imagine what might happen. I look forward to hearing what you think as you progress through the story. Report Review
Delightful story, and finish.
I notice the care with which you set up how betrayed Lucy felt. It was not only her natural reaction to Hilarion's not telling the truth but also a reaction Dominique's problems.
The scene where Hilarion tries to tell Lucy how he had broken up with Roxanne and even then he doesn't really realize that he wants Lucy, and only realizes it when he botches it and gets home. And of course the old woman shooing Hilarion away so he is intimidated from going back.
Of course he realizes that he does want Lucy "that badly," but for all that he is a big Quidditch star he has no self-confidence with women, no confidence that he can ever make it right with Lucy.
Delicious torture. And of course you did a great job of milking the finish, drawing out the agony.
Loved the finale, and the epilogues.
The quotes from Cyrano were fantastic, and the last one was the best! Good enough that I told my wife I needed to see the original play. Somehow I've missed the original, and with quotes like the ones you have given us it is obvious that the original is worth searching out.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: Dominique's divorce definitely factored into Lucy's sense of betrayal. She perceived him as a liar just like Dom's ex, and had to take time to separate the two.
I'm glad you liked the scene with Hilarion botching utterly his attempt to confess all to Lucy. He does lack confidence, despite his Quidditch fame (and handsomeness fame). Delicious torture is exactly how I think of it ;) Who doesn't love a bit of angst in their romance now and then?
Cyrano is AMAZING. If you can see it in the original French, it's totally worth it (there's a film version with G√É¬©rard D√É¬©pardieu that is incredible), but it's a wonderful play in any language. So witty. So many wonderful moments.
Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I really appreciate it, it made my day :) Report Review
I decided I needed to re-read your story. I do not know how much editing you have done since I first read it, but I'm sure I first read it a long time ago.
It's better than I remember it. It's brilliant in places, a very good take on the days right after the battle. I think as realistic as these stories can be.Author's Response: Ha, hi Jet. Actually, I'm going through the whole thing again as well, and I'm finding all sorts of errors. Of course, these were early days, when I was still learning. I'm glad you're enjoying it again. Report Review
I don't usually read about James II. Writing a Harry/Ginny that will lead into an Albus/OC; Rose/Scorpius tale. But this one is adorable. I want to see you get to the conclusion.
You ought to marry someone you can be best friends with. My wife and I have been married 44 years.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: thanks! wow 44 years! That's amazing! congrats :) hopefully I'll get to the conclusion! :D Report Review
I like this story.
There are thousands of swear words, many of them vastly better choices than the F word.
God and variations, Jesus, etc. Plus the variations like gosh, gee etc.
Damn and other words referring to hell, go to hades etc.
Words for the stuff that comes out of your bottom, shit, crap and the like.
I am sure you can find a hundred more with a little looking.
British swear words would be even better, bloody, which Ron uses in the books, blimey.
Instead of god Rowling uses Merlin. Oh Merlin for surprise. I've used boggarts, and another author, I think momotwins, uses holy kneazles.
So try "Oh Merlin, dragon dung, bloody boggarts" or something like that. Get creative.
The F word is really lower class American, and used over and over indicated a lack of education. Your story is way too good to be weighed down with the F word.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: I never really thought about that, I've definitely tried to use Merlin but I forgot about kneazles and stuff like that, but thanks for the tips, they'll definitely come in handy in future :)
and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
What about Hilarion and Lucy?
Oh, we sort of know what will happen, I guess. Hilarion will go looking for Lucy, and tell her that he and Roxanne have broken up? Lucy will find out from Hilarion what happened, sort of. Roxanne will be too consumed with Perry to think of her poor cousin.
But Lucy and Hilarion is too predictable to make a good story, unlike Roxanne and Perry.
Just a lovely re-do of the Cyrano de Bergerac story. Lots of fun, and they all lived happily ever after, or as happy as momotwins can stand to make them.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: Oh it's not over! There are still three chapters left. Lucy and Hilarion are coming next (and I disagree that they don't make a good story), and more resolution of Perry and Roxanne also. Roxanne doesn't even really know that her cousin liked Hilarion or had been hanging out with him a lot, so she wouldn't have a reason to go tell Lucy. Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Delightful story. Made me laugh! Great written from the point of view of someone visiting the Weasley family. Like the way you portray Ginny too. I see Harry as stable, but Ginny as a little bit of a loose cannon, well, not a Cannon, a loose Harpy? Report Review
Chapter 1 says Harry and Ginny have 3 children, this chapter says Ginny is expecting their first. I know you are writing about Luna but this is a little looney even for her. Also from the way you wrote one could think that Ron and Hermione also had 3 children.
The wedding story is better.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: Really? I thought I wrote that Ginny and Harry have no childreno.O This is the first fanfiction I've written in years so please give it a chance. I've honestly haven't written in three years. I have another novel written and I think that one is better as well. I honestly wrote this under an hour. So that might explain why. Report Review
You are an amazing writer. As with everyone, some stories are better than others. This a good one.
I hope you meet your Ron.
I have not seen The Notebook, but I have watched my father die a drawn out death due to Alzheimer's, and lived with dementia in both my in-laws.
Couples usually do not die at the same time, and we all get wounded as we go through life. The absolutely worse reason for a divorce is "it's not the person I married." Of course not! As someone 66 and almost 44 years married I can tell you we are very different people than we were when we were young. My wife has had both hips and both knees replaced; I tell people I am getting a new wife one joint at a time.
True love is for better or for worse; of course there are going to be some bad times.
In sickness and in health. Few of us will go through life without some serious illness, and some of us, maybe you, maybe your spouse, will battle chronic illness.
Good story. Good moral. Good emotions.
Good writer. Thank you.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: I agree with you- I have some epic fails on my author's page, some so-so stories, and some that people seem to really love.
Dear god, do I hope I meet my Ron. More so, I hope that I haven't already met him and let him go with my own stupidity, which is one of my worst fears.
I apologize about your family situation- that does sound awful. I've never actually met anyone with such a disease, which I feel blessed for. That could be why the movie struck me so hard.
Thank you for this review- I get scared about the world so often. And I'm far too cynical, thinking that true love doesn't exist. I've let my fairytale view of the world get soured by media and parents and all these little things that pile up. But when I hear stories like that, of people still in love after 44 years... I get a little bit of faith back. Mazel tov, really!
It shouldn't matter- it shouldn't scare you out of a relationship. Love is love. And that is what writing this fanfic helped me work through.
Even now, when I think about this movie and this story, I just want to burst into tears. I guess when you're young, the future really does seem endless. And I never got that until I got into High School! But it's hitting me hard, especially now. ~writergirl8 Report Review
The story started out just magical. The first paragraph is one that every author should yearn for, one that drags you into the story. I loved the story from the start.
The book store, the awkwardness of the interaction between Hermione and Ron, the best friends but not really boyfriend yet but ... just fantastic.
Then I got to the first paragraph, again. Oh my, what symmetry, what a beautiful way to show the difference ten years have made. The exactly same face, but a much more mature person much more secure in who she is. Brilliant!
We were at my wife's 50th high school reunion last summer. Somehow the nice people are more often the winners than the not so nice people. I think most of us have people like Mattie, who made us feel small or stupid or unpopular when we were young.
It's delicious when you are a grown up, and those things don't matter. We should be charitable, but really it's even more delicious the antagonist gets the proper put down.
Loved the story!
What a talent! You're beautiful! ! !
After writing the review I reread the story again. It's even better the second time.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for such a long and lovely review! I'll try to answer it as well as possible.
If I am able to drag you into the story with that long and pointless first paragraph about mirrors, then I'm even better than I hoped! I tend to start with really big paragraphs and I think people hate that about my writing.
I love them at this stage of their relationship- which is ridiculous because I love them at all stages of their relationship- but especially this one. The newness, the awkwardness, the way most people can relate to it, whether or not you've ever been in love.
I'm especially glad you noticed that, because I was slightly concerned that no one would really see the parallels! Haha. Silly me.
A lot can happen in ten years, and I love the juxtaposition of their two situations.
I absolutely have Maddies in my life, and I can't wait to get rid of them all. I hope one day I'll be able to let go of my anger at the people who are bothering me now, and I think by letting Hermione do so, it calmed me down a little bit.
Thanks for reading not once, but twice! That's very kind. ~writergirl8 Report Review
I'm addicted to Harry/Ginny stories, but was put off by the short chapters. You chapters are very good, however. The ideas, the way the story flows, is much better than I have seen in many of the stories.
Harry and Ginny starting over by shaking hands, great! You do a good job of showing the awkwardness as two very young people try to find each other. You do a good job with the dialogue, and ought to work hard to have more dialogue.
You leave a lot undeveloped. I know in my story I went back and re-wrote all of the early chapters, and they became much longer. If you wanted to you probably could do the same. Develop the ideas you began, making the chapters fuller.
Do you know where you are going in the story? Are you going to try and follow 'canon,' Rowling's sometimes contradictory interviews, with Hermione and Ginny going back to school but Harry and Ron helping to reform the Auror department? Or do you have another future in mind?
Very interesting, Petunia Evans. How big is the back story to that? Have you developed a back story, or just that she is now Evans. One good story device is to have Petunia tell Harry and the family why she is EVANS now, what happened. I think Vernon is a pretty despicable character, but Petunia is more nuanced, and you can certainly have fun developing what happened to the family the past year when they were in hiding. Dudley is redeemable too.
The quotes at the start of each chapter are great! The quote at the start of this chapter is right on. With 4 children and 6 grandchildren I am even more aware how my life and the life of my wife will live on in our children.
Maybe you can develop a little more how Harry is Arthur and Molly's son, and their family is his family, the family he really never had with Vernon Dursley.
Have fun writing.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: First of all, thank you so much for the review! This is my first fan fiction, and since I am hardly thirteen years old, I thought that no one would read it: The attention it recieved amazed me.
I am delighted that you are happy witht he length of the chapters. In my opinion, they are short, but the more time I have to write the longer they will be.
The next few chapters will hopefully develop some of the undeveloped ideas.
I have ideas of where I'm going... mostly I'm just writing as I go. I am partially sticking to cannon: You'll have to read more to see what happens!
I guarantee you that Petunia Evans story will go into depth, also in the next few stories. No Vernon Dursley will be involved.
I was just thinking about Harry's family- The Weasely's. The next few chapters will have a lot more involving that idea.
Again, thanks so much for reveiwing!
~Magicalis Writer Report Review
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