Reading Reviews From Member: Jenna822
  
352 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jenna822It Gets Better.: It Gets Better.

5th June 2012:
{Challenge Review}

This was really sweet. I like the connection that Teddy and Lily have. It was very innocent and wholesome. I kind of agree with James, that Cole bloke needed a good knock to the head. :P

Thank you so much for entering my challenge! Results should be posted some time over this next week. ^_^ --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! I'll make sure to check the results. This challenge was a very enjoyable for me :)

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Review #2, by Jenna822My Beautiful Boy: It gets better

5th June 2012:
{Challenge Review}

This was quite sad. I'm not used to reading stories in second person, so it was weird at first, but it didn't take long to get used to. I love your character choice. He was perfect for this. This should have way more reviews...just saying. It was good!

Thank you so much for entering my challenge! Results should be posted some time over this next week. ^_^ --Jenna

Author's Response: Oh! Just seen this! Been majorly away from Hpff studying for exams :(

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! :) Thank you so much for reviewing as well it has made my day full of rubbish revision so much better!

Rach xx


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Review #3, by Jenna822Pretty Little Gryffindors: Lost Diaries

4th June 2012:
{Challenge Review}

I was really glad to see that Sirius got up to console his brother, rather than partake in humiliating him. That was nice. :) And OMG I didn't see the Mary/Dorcas thing coming at all. That's awesome! Eeep, it took a dark turn, fast. I was just gonna say, this isn't really a “crossover”. Because a crossover uses characters, settings, etc from both shows. This is more “inspired by PLL” than a crossover. Unless you plan on adding them in during later chapters.

So, I'm wondering, if Regulus is the one behind this, then how did he get the diaries and get the note into Lily's pocket. I've never seen the show, so I'm not sure if it's a trick. I dunno. Maybe it's one of the girls? I'm confused. *frets* Anyways, I feel really sorry for the not-responsible girls. :(

Thank you so much for entering my challenge! Results should be posted some time over this next week. ^_^ --Jenna

Author's Response: Thanks for your review, dear. I'm sorry that I didn't really get to the.."It Gets Better" part, so I'm sure I won't come close to winning. But, thank you. I thought I took the characters...they all have the personalities of all of the characters in PLLs soo...Maybe not, I don't know. And it's a sense of...knowing your sources. That's what it is in the show/books. :) Thank you honey! ~

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Review #4, by Jenna822Ghost in the Machine: Nightmares

3rd June 2012:
{Challenge Review}

Wow. Okay, to start off with, you're a very good writer. You know how to tell a story that people can, and want to, read. Your style, pace, word choice, grammar, everything...it's spot on.

For the first chapter, I was so glad to see that Parvati and Neville(?) kept coming back. You really showed that Gryffindor stubbornness in them. And you gave so much more credit to Parvati than a lot of people do. For both her and Lavender, you remind the readers that they might have been giggling, silly girls sometimes, but they were still strong, brave, Gryffindor girls. I feel like your pacing was perfect. You kept us hanging long enough on each level of her progress to understand it, while not leaving us there too long to stop caring. I don't know if you intended symbolism with the unicorn or if it was just coincidence, but it was nicely done. I like the second chapter as well. I can see that she's making progress and there's a lot of hope for her future.

Thank you so much for entering my challenge! Results should be posted some time over this next week. ^_^ --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It was actually Seamus who kept coming back, not Neville - in the books, Lavender and Seamus always seemed like better friends to me than Lavender and Neville.

I'm glad that you felt this was paced well. Thank you for the review, and for the challenge! :)


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Review #5, by Jenna822Little Numbers: Little Numbers

2nd June 2012:
{Challenge Review}

This was beautiful. It really was. Your writing style, your descriptions, the story itself, all poetry. And it truly embodied the entire purpose of the challenge. Gosh, I really don't know what else to say. It was just...great. The way you wove her childhood into it, first establishing what she'd done and then later giving the details of it. It was perfect. Because you created this broken character, who we wanted to see make it alright in the end, then you gave it to her. And it was very realistic. You didn't just snap things into place right after she left prison, you created a slow, gradual feel to it. The mention of her child at the end was a beautiful ending. I was a bit confused because of the whole canon Astoria/Draco thing, but I just assumed it was AU about half way through and it made sense again. I think you did very well on Draco's character. He didn't seem ooc at all and that's a wonderful thing!

Thank you so much for entering my challenge! Results should be posted some time over this next week. ^_^ --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! this review honestly made me so happy, I can't even tell you how happy :) This challenge was magnificent, I can't thank you enough for putting it together, I was stuck in this stupid little writer's block rut and had been for months and then your challenge jut got me out of it, thank you so much!
~Ria


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Review #6, by Jenna822A Promise Kept: Watching

2nd June 2012:
{Challenge Review}

I was worried from the moment I read your summary. Seeing the “absolute death challenge” as part of this sent me into automatic “omg who's gonna die” panic. I'm scared. I don't want anyone to die. :'( And then...but...no. The opening is both heartbreaking as well as nicely written. Very poetic descriptions of the scene.

I wanna pretend like I was big and brave and made it through this without crying...but I wasn't. You got me teared up before the end up the first chapter. Seriously, this is so sad. I can't even. When he mentioned what Sirius told Harry during the war...

I like Louis' reaction scene. It was emotional without being melodramatic, and that's a good thing. It felt so much more real this way. Especially since the first stage of grief is denial.

Teddy's “transition” I guess you could say, was lovely. I can feel his frustration coming out through the writing. Makes me want to reach in and give Louis a little shake and say “Pay attention!” I love that you added the bit about Narcissa in there. It was touching and the kind of thing that I truly think would happen after the war.

I am making an unhuman sound at that last sentence. I can't. I just...what?! No. *searches for chapter three and dies a little because it isn't there* What?! I'm not making sense anymore, but I can't because I'm literally staring at the screen with an :o face right now.

Are you going to be continuing? I'm going to put this on my faves list thing so I can see when the next chapter comes out. This is, hands down, my favorite thing you've written. And not just cause I love Louis, but because it's just awesome. I look forward to the next chapter.

Thank you so much for entering my challenge! Results should be posted some time over this next week. ^_^ --Jenna

Author's Response: Hey, Jenna. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer your review.

I had tears the whole the whole time I wrote the first chapter, especially when I got to the bit about Sirius and then Louis' reaction at the end. I just wanted to hug them.

I'm definitely continuing, I've just posted chapter three now and the rest are planned. I wish it hadn't taken as long as it did. But I hope you continue to like it. :)

Thank you so much for reviewing and for the challenge!

Sam.


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Review #7, by Jenna822Double Trouble: Chapter Eight:Revenge is Sweet

5th February 2012:
(Prize Review #5)

Chapter Seven: THAT JERK!!! What a complete creep. I can't even. *insert string of rage here* I really hope that she gets over that jerk. Remus was right! He wasn't good enough for her! I'm abusing the ! but I can't help it. And Snape...he can just get lost. Lol

Chapter Eight: I hate to say this but...she's being a little over-dramatic, isn't she? I mean, they only dated for a week like and she's a complete mess over it. It's a bit sad. :( And is she really so blind? Does she not see how Remus feels? I'm going crazy here! Sorry, but I've turned my back on Sek. She's too immature to be with Remus. She's all about the head games and playing games is lame. She has officially dropped to the bottom of my list. Isis is still enjoyable though.

So much drama! *flails* --Jenna

Author's Response: Hello again!

Yes he is quiet the jerk and Remus was very right. I don't mind the abuse of ! means I'm doing a good job of provoking emotions with my writing!

Yes Sek is very over dramatic and at the moment and a little on the immature side. Don't give up on her too soon though, she might surprise you.

Thank you!


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Review #8, by Jenna822Double Trouble: Chapter Six: Love Me, Love Me Not

28th January 2012:
(Prize Review #4)

Sorry it takes so long to review, you have long chapters and I read slow. :(
So anyways, I don't get why the girls are getting back at them. Wasn't the hair prank the revenge? I sense a full out prank war coming on. Lol.
And UGH is Remus going to make a move on Sek like ever?! That girl is practically throwing herself at him. I don't usually “ship” in fanfics cause I just go with whatever the author writes, but I ship Remus/Sek. It should happen. *cries*
OMG Teddy bear boxers. That is adorable! I do feel the need to mention that song wasn't out until 1991. But it was still funny.

Sirius...is a jerk. I mean it's one thing to play love potion pranks, but to actually kiss her. That's just heartless. I'm glad that Isis got mad at him. He deserved much worse. And *gasp* does Sek actually like that guy? Poor Remus. --Jenna

Author's Response: That's alright! Yes I do have long chapters.

More or less the reason they chose to pull another "revenge" prank was mostly on principal and, well, frankly because they could. lol!

I take that as a very high complement considering you never "ship" outside of the cannon. To be honest generally I don't either, but since we don't know if either Remus or Sirius had girlfriends during their time at Hogwarts I make an exception for them. ^_^ As for Remus and Sekhmet getting together all I can say is keep reading.

Yes Chaos and I were both aware the song was not era consistent, but we really could not resist the prank was just too funny! The Marauders' boxers singing "I'm Too Sexy" just seemed perfect!

Yes Sirius was a huge jerk in this chapter. The point of this chapter was really to show that both sides were just starting to go too far, the boys just beat out the girls in that area. This also was meant to bring an end to the prank war. Yes he deserves far worse, but I think Sek going after him and threatening his manhood and then some was pretty scary!

Thank you for another review!


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Review #9, by Jenna822Double Trouble: Chapter Four: Failed Pranks and Business

25th January 2012:
(Prize Review #3)

I like how the girls turned their prank back around on them. And the prank the girls played to begin with.
Poor Sek! I mean...seriously, poor thing! That's horrible.
I noticed in some other reviews you guys commented about it being a transition from RPG to story. That's awesome. I do the same thing and it's really fun. So my question is: Is this an AU? Or does it follow canon structuring and such. Like Lily/James will get married, have Harry, yada yada and such forth? And is all the backstory canon? Like Snape knows about Remus' furry little problem and all that?
Anyways, very active, exciting chapters! *on to the rest* :) --Jenna


“And we were stuck carrying gay stuffed animals around all day!” James added.
That's a rather offensive sentence. Gay = Stupid

Author's Response: Hello again!

To answer your question no this story is not an AU. With this part of the story and it's sequel both Chaos and I chose to stick to the canon as close as possible with throwing two new characters, Sekhmet and Isis, into the mix. What everyone already knows from the books and what JKR has said is what we are attempting to follow, it is just our take on how it may have happened. And yes the backstory for the canon characters is canon as well. The biggest thing we have changed at this point is Snape showing interest in Sekhmet, but this plays in later and by no means changes how he feels about Lily.

I look forward to reading more of your reviews!

Also I would like to appolgize for offending you with our choice of wording in the sentance you pointed out. It is not our intention to offend our readers. So for that I am sorry.


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Review #10, by Jenna822Double Trouble: Chapter Two: First Lasts

23rd January 2012:
(Prize Review #2)

So, I skipped the first and waited for this chapter to review so I'd have more to say.

You have a good opening to a story here. The characters are all laid out clearly, we get a good idea of their personalities and their traits right off the bat. It's a little faster paced than I tend to go for, but it isn't so fast that I can't keep up. I think you have a good collection of characters with diverse personalities. I'm really hoping to see more of Isis in the coming chapters, because I think she's getting a little overshadowed by her charismatic sister. So, yeah, Sekhmet is for sure my favourite character right now. I don't know why exactly, I just really like her style. I hope that she's a big part of the story.

I think you have your canon characters spot on with what we know and your additions to them doesn't contradict anything. I can already get a good sense of backstory and coming plotlines. I'm looking forward to seeing where this all goes! :) --Jenna

Also, You have some basic grammar errors and tense shifting throughout the two chapters, but it wasn't anything that a quick beta scan can't catch and it wasn't horrible, just minor tidbits here and there. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

That is perfectly fine with me if you wish to review 2 or more chapters at a time!

One thing I did not want to do with the first couple of chapters is drag out explaining the background of the characters especially Isis and Sekhmet. I tend not to like it when stories have the first couple of chapter dedicated to establishing background info. That being said I can also see how Chapter One could be a little too fast paced as well. It is challenging to find a good balance.

Isis does come into more of a main role as the story moves forward. Sekhmet is the load and in your face character. Whereas Isis tends to sit somewhere in between Lily and her sister. Almost a balance of the two. She is not a full on rule breaker like her sister, but she is not afraid to push the envelope either. At the same time Sekhmet also continues to play a main role as well. We, Chaos and myself, to balance the chapters so that both Twins were highlighted.

In terms of the canon characters I am not a big fan of straying away from how JKR portrays them or hints about them in the books and interviews. I like to attempt to get into their heads and figure out how they would react based on what we know, even though in some cases it is not much.

I just started working with a beta for this story so those issues will be worked out.

Thank you for your review! I look forward to reading what you think of the rest of the story!


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Review #11, by Jenna822The Simplest of Words: Regrets

9th January 2012:
(Prize Review #2)

Oh...my. I'm a bit speechless because this was just so powerful. I love the way you have the story layered, showing scenes from the past while having a present day Sirius coping with them. The addition of James on top of it all is brilliant. I love the way James doesn't show any animosity or blame towards Sirius, because I truly think if given the chance, he'd say just what you portrayed. Very nice chapter and I look forward to reading more of this. Shall add it to my faves so I miss nothing. :) --Jenna

Author's Response: I believe that if the Potters had survived that Halloween, they would not blame Sirius or allow him to blame himself. They each made the decision not knowing the truth about a man they thought a friend. So having James there provided a bit of comfort to Sirius as he deals with everything.

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Review #12, by Jenna822The Simplest of Words: Prologue

9th January 2012:
(Prize Review #1)

This was a beautiful prologue. You put the focus on Sirius directly, which made it so much more heartbreaking. And the way you trailed off at the end was a great set up for the coming chapters. All of the technical stuff was spot on, and you're writing style is very pleasant. Nothing but good things to say on this chapter. :D --Jenna

P.S. I sent you a message on the forums about your other prize reviews. I noticed that you had a lot of old stories and wasn't sure if you'd rather I review those or if you have some new stuff coming out that I can review if you prefer. I notice this is a WIP so I can follow it if you'd like. :) Just let me know either way.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review Jenna! I hope to be able to finish this story sometime soon.

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Review #13, by Jenna822Post Scriptum: Eggs and Bacon

6th January 2012:
(Prize Review #3)

Gonna start by saying this was good. Because when reading it back, my first line sounds like an insult at first. So just...don't take it bad. :P

Your dialogue (where Regulus, Orion, and Walburga are concerned) was stuffy, proper, and formal. I thought it was perfect. It seemed very fitting with their characters and provided a subtle contrast to Sirius' choice of wording and behaviour. I usually don't do prize reviews on anything but one shots or completed stories but when I saw your summary, I had to forsake that typical rule. I'm curious if this is a Lily/Regulus or if it is just a Lily&Regulus story.

Oh, and of course all of that praise about grammar, flow, description, pace, sentence structure, etc...: Yours was spot on. But even in the few things I've read by you, I'm noticing that it's always very strong. I enjoy your writing style, I think you have fresh ideas, and you're a pleasure to read. Very talented. :) --Jenna

P.S.I love the Kreacher and Regulus interaction.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! You had me a little scared with the warning, but I don't see it as an insult at all! Like you said, it seems fitting for their family. I'm very pleased that the story caught your interest, particularly since I haven't added the banner to it yet. A good summary is hard to find and I'm happy to know that I've written one here :) As to your question, I've intended it to be Lily and Regulus in a friendship as opposed to a romantic relationship.

I'm so glad you liked Kreacher! I actually really enjoyed writing him, between his smugness toward Sirius and the other elves and his loyalty for Regulus. Naturally, he'll be an important part of the Regulus half of the tale.

Your compliments mean so very much to me! I'm truly flattered, and I hope you return to read more when other chapters are posted.

Thank you so much! :)

Amanda


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Review #14, by Jenna822Untainted: Victorious

3rd January 2012:
(Prize Review #2)

*wipes away tear*
This was beautiful. The scenes from her life were chosen perfectly, you seemed to capture the appropriate emotions and reactions for them, and you wrote it with such a delicate pen. Even though you invoked some heavy emotions, you never had to force them. It just...happened. Very poetic layout and your choice of using first person and present tense were great assets to the story. :) --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! You said it well -- I wanted this piece to explore serious themes but still keep a very fragile hold on things, never falling too deeply into one scene or another. I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! :)

Thanks for your kind review!

Amanda


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Review #15, by Jenna822In The End: A Quiet Man

1st January 2012:
(Prize Review #1)

Wow. Can I just say wow. This was amazing. I think you captured Barty's personality very well. He seemed very true to the character that JK already created and expanded on his backstory and motives.

Your descriptions and flow are great. I think each section carried itself very well and they all meshed in together effortlessly. It almost seemed like the later sections weren't as heavily written as the beginning ones. Like you got a bit tired of working on it and started backing off a little. BUT, even those were brilliant.

Overall, a wonderful one shot. :) --Jenna

Author's Response: Hey there! :)

Thank you! I really had a lot of fun researching Barty and exploring his personality. I did try to add to what we already know from canon to make him "real", and it sounds like that worked for you, which is wonderful.

You're probably right about the later sections. When I read it over, I did feel like they lacked a little "oomph" compared to the earlier ones, but at the same time, I usually just let a story be "done" when it feels "done" to me, and that's how this one ended up. I'm glad that the change didn't detract from the story for you.

Thanks for your kind review!

academica


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Review #16, by Jenna822Finding Courage in Love : Finding Courage in Love

1st January 2012:
(Prize Review #1)

First off, I love that you wrote this in first person from Remus' POV. Not a lot of authors branch out and get into the guy's head during a story and I enjoy that perspective so much more. At first, I thought it was kind of weird to have two characters with Egyptian origin names, but then you said they were twins, so it wasn't weird, it was cute. I like the names. They're creative without being ridiculous. Are they actually part Egyptian or? Sorry for what is probably a stupid question, I know that they're part of a novel you wrote, but I haven't read it.

So...then what? Lol. Does this continue somewhere? Does he tell her?

This is a good one shot, I really liked it. And considering I'm breaking in on the middle of the story, I'd probably like it even more if I were smart enough to read the novel first. :P --Jenna

Author's Response: I am happy you enjoyed the fact that the story was written in first person. Jumping into Remus's head was not the easiest thing to do, so I am happy to hear that you feel I did a good job. :) No that is not a dumb question. Most people are not that familiar with Egyptian mythology. And to answer your question yes that are both a part of Egyptian mythology. Isis is the most well know of the two goddesses while Sekhmet is not necessarily as popular. Sekhmet is the goddess of war.

I purposely left the ending open for two reasons. 1) Because I just wanted to focus on Remus making the decision not the follow through. 2) To get people who read this one-shot to go and read the main story to see what happens! Part of my evil plan to gain more readers, lol.

I know I only get so many review for winning 2nd place, but if you continue reading the Twins Series as I call it I would love to hear what you think!

Thank you!


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Review #17, by Jenna822The Cleverness of Uncle George: Try

18th December 2011:
Very cute. I love stories with kids in them.
Louis loves fireworks? That's new. *shifty eyes*

Good job with staying in tense, I know it's hard as heck to stay in present tense for a long period of time when you're not used to it, cause I know you typically write in past tense. And the same goes for first person, cause I know you typically write in third person as well.

--Jenna

Author's Response: The fireworks? I just needed a reason for Louis to say 'bang' and I could hear fireworks from my window (cause some peopld don't know when holidays are over. >.

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Review #18, by Jenna822Broccoli: Broccoli

16th December 2011:
I thought this was wonderful. The fact that you didn't make it the Ugly Duckling story, and you didn't have him declare his love, and you didn't have her find some other guy is what made this wonderful. You made it real. You weren't afraid to go with a risky ending, or a risky story at that. And you found such a unique way to tie in your assigned food, it really stunned me. Well done. Very well done! --Jenna

Author's Response: EEE! I admit I squealed a little after reading all of your reviews! :P First challenge excitement and all you know. :P

Trust me, I was /very/ tempted to go for a happy, sappy ending, but I had to say true to the theme of the story- real life. You don't get a Prince Charming in real life, at least not people like Eloise. :(

Aweee...thanks! The idea of incorporating broccoli as a metaphor really hit me out of nowhere and then I couldn't not write it down :P Thanks for the great challenge! It was really fun to write as well as read other entries! :D
Vanya


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Review #19, by Jenna822Broccoli: What's in a name

14th December 2011:
I also liked this chapter. :)
It was both sweet and sad. I think you've got a great story here with the potential to be related to by a lot of people. You're not sugar-coating things. You didn't create the epitome of what people want to be, you kept it real. You've made her real. And that's the best part about this story. She's very easy to feel for and bond with. Even in such a small amount of time.
I'm eager to see how this ends.
I've left little reviews so far, but that's sort of how I do. Small at first, building up feelings/opinions as I go.
And also, your spelling and grammar are wonderful. As is your flow and such. Nice structural work and technical properties. Which is a great thing, because all that technical stuff could have kept this story from being as good as it is.
On to the last. :D --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Realism is what I was aiming for, indeed. I do realise that this story has to offer little more in manner of plot, drama and romance (the typical stuff that attracts readers :P), but for once, I wanted to, like you said, create a character, that everyone could relate to, on whichever a level. And writing romance makes me a little uncomfortable, to be honest. :P

Hey, that's okay. :) I appreciate all reviews, long or short!

Thanks! Actually english isn't my native language, so I do read through twice or thrice to make sure the grammar and such is perfect, because if I can't write 'great' stories like so many wonderful authors here, I can at least make sure that my writing is not full of errors :P

Thank you again! :D


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Review #20, by Jenna822Broccoli: The mirror

14th December 2011:
Very good chapter. :D
I think you portrayed her very realistically. It's a very well done description of how flighty and scattered a teenager's mind can be; moving more quickly than they can handle sometimes.
On to the next. :D --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! :)
That part of her personality was based upon the teenage me; I know all too well about ludicrous dreaming and fantasising. :P I portrayed Eloise's fickle nature as a mild version of me, to be honest. :P


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Review #21, by Jenna822Broccoli: A nickname

14th December 2011:
Poor girl. I can't imagine having to be called that. Real life is very much like that :P
On to the next! --Jenna

Author's Response: Hehe. Oh, what a nuisance that nickname is for her; yet she loves it, really, underneath it all. She's just not ready to venture deeper into her heart. :P

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Review #22, by Jenna822Broccoli: A name

14th December 2011:
Wonderful start! I love who you picked for your story and I'm excited to see where you take this. I can't really comment to much, since this was more a "set-up" chapter, but I'm looking forward to the rest. --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! I love minor characters with all my heart, so it was fun to write Eloise. :)

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Review #23, by Jenna822What I've Done: Today This Ends

14th November 2011:
That's okay, I wasn't using my heart or anything. You can go ahead and break it. *glare*

I rather liked the way you portrayed Lucius. I think it fits with his need to do what's best for his family. He always seems so nasty in the books, but people have to remember, those are told from Harry's POV and of course Lucius was nasty towards him.

Anyways, this was grand! --Jenna

Author's Response: *Hides from glare* :(

Yes, I completely agree with that about Lucius. I think I just said that to someone. LOL.

Thank you.

Sam.


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Review #24, by Jenna822I Know Him So Well: I Know Him So Well

14th November 2011:
So, I've been meaning to read some of your stories for like...ages, but I haven't had much time for reading lately. I finally got some time today. :D

Yay!! Angsty slash with happy endings ♥
I like the way you portray them. I've never heard the song. I may have to go listen now. :D --Jenna

Author's Response: Yay for reading time! :D

They should always have a happy ending :P
You do. Go listen!
Thank you for reviewing.

Sam.


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Review #25, by Jenna822Grapefruit: Encounter

8th November 2011:
This was quite cute. I liked how you used the characters as being youngsters, just having a nice calm conversation. It's nice to read non-romance stories sometimes. I think you portrayed the characters very well, from Percy to the twins, as well as Ron and Luna. I'm not sure what "or I'll brain you" means. Is that a British term for something?

I like the way you used the grapefruit. It seemed very Luna-esque. You had a good deal of grammatical errors and in the third paragraph, you said "thinks" where I believe that you meant "things". Also the dialogue was very formal, don't be afraid to use contractions or speak your lines aloud.

I really enjoyed your story and thank you for entering the challenge! :) --Jenna

Author's Response: It was very different for me to write, just because they are children with a no romance plot (partly cuz I don't see that ship at all) But I'm very happy that they were close enough portrayals.
You don't know that means? Lol, im not sure what the correct explanation for it is and im not sure its British, but I think its something along the lines of getting smacked upside the head. :D
I'm not to surprised by the grammar, cuz its not my strong point. I don't mind to much as long as the story comes through. :D I think part of the lack of contractions and causality is because I got reprimanded for it once in a very early review and that sorta stuck with me. Lol.
Anyway, thank you so much for making this challenge, I really enjoyed writing it and am glad you enjoyed reading it! :D


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