Reading Reviews From Member: Capella Black
  
416 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Capella BlackMaking a Name: One

11th August 2011:
Ok, now that is a real protagonist. I really like how you've been so upfront about this character's flaws and imperfections. It's left me torn between identifying with him, and wanting to yell at him, and that's actually really rare. As a result I'm intrigued to know more. Why has he got this way? What's the rest of his family like? And what's happened with his dad? And what's really great is that these questions don't feel forgotten about, or ignored. There's a real sense of drawing me in and making me want to know more.

I also like the way you describe what's going on. There's nothing flowery, and no unnecessary description. Instead there's just enough for us to get the image of it all - each description adding more than the actual words themselves. For example, the stubby pencil for some reason makes me think of someone who just uses whatever he can find, and who doesn't care about opinions or having the best. Not what I expect from a potter, and so very evocative. Sometimes the sentences do get a bit long for me, and could do with a comma, but other than that it's pretty darn near perfect!

Thanks for sharing this with us, and please let me know when more's up!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this wonderful review!! I'm so glad you like the story, and the characterization of James. It means a lot to me, especially with a newer story like this. Thanks again!

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Review #2, by Capella BlackFree: Free

11th August 2011:
Wow. Oh, wow. And did I mention wow? I really love this piece. I think the reason for this is mostly how you've managed to build a complete story, with a dramatic midsection and all, without actually having anything particularly dramatic happen. Theoretically, if I tried to describe the story, it wouldn't seem too thrilling, and yet somehow it is. Instead if relying on unrealistic plot twists and over-the-top misunderstandings, you've just let your beautiful writing style show through, and let that carry the piece. It males me think you'd be good at telling any story.

It also helps that your characterisations are stunning and original. Scorpius as a sweet, mild, slightly camp Hufflepuff. I LOVE it! And Rose too, is compelling. Even more so because you show us her through his eyes. I think that's what's so unique in this piece - the sheer magic of the young love you've evoked. It's not over the top, or melodramatic, but it's almost tangible in the way it underlines all of what you've written.

So yeah, wow.

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Scorpius is a little campy, isn't he? It's fun though, I like writing him this way. He likes to draw and paint and sing, but not do anything particularly taxing. Mild is a good word for him, he's just sort of a generally nice and decent guy, if rather lazy. Rose is a bit campy too (and lazy), but she fits him. And he does love her. It was fun to write this, to show the beginnings of him loving her.

Thank you so much for the lovely review! You are very kind :)


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Review #3, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: Dieppe

9th August 2011:
So, the thing I really liked in this chapter was the bit where you let us know something bad is about to happen, but make it clear that the characters don't know. There's a word for it, which is sadly eluding me at the moment, but you do it really well. It's particularly good in this chapter because we needed to know it was hermione's fault in order to then understand Harry's reaction. It also helped to set the mood, which seriously hooked me in, and was needed given the extent of the damage. Really nice, all in all.

This chapter's also helped sway me on the Harry/Ginny pairing. I like that it's been understated so far, but I also like how we've seen more of it due to ginny being in danger. That seemed really true to their characters, and so has made me love them that little bit more!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: What a thoroughly insiteful review.

Foreboding? Is that the word your looking for? Actually, even the title of this chapter is laden with doom.

Dieppe was the site of an allied amphibious raid in 1942; it was kind of a "practice drill" for the eventual invasion of France. The allies were masacred. The allies casualteis were horrendous. Throughout the war just the name of the town (Dieppe) was synonymous with disaster.

Yes, Hermione's fault. She's been too engrossed in Ron to pay attention to the mission and now its nearly cost Ginny her life. And Harry? He's losing it. The one thing he feared most was losing Ginny. This all plays out in a nasty way in the next chapter.

I'm, again, very flattered that you like how I've developed the H/G pairing here. That's key to everything that happens from here out. Up to this point, the tale really has been R/Hr; from here forward it shifts more to H/G.

Thanks again!!

Eldy


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Review #4, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: The Strategy and the Ecstasy

9th August 2011:
Aww, he braids her hair! That is so very cute! I haven't commented that much on the Harry and Ginny pairing so far, mainly because it hasn't felt like the more important pairing. Also, because I find the link thing... unusual? You've done it more believably than most writers, but it still seems non-canon to me. I am fully prepared to be swayed once I've read the other stories, but maybe a bit more explanation of why something so unique occurred would help? Ah, what do I know?!

Anyways, I still adored this chapter. The whole into-out-of England dilemma is brilliant, and this chapter really has me eager to see how they do in reality.

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: A little art imitating life. I love brushing my wife's hair, so I couldn't help putting that in here.

The link is on the unusual side. I didn't create it. But I've seen three other author's use it: Edward Olivander, justanothermuggle and MyGinevra and I really liked it. I'm not sure who came up with it originally . I purposely do not go into much explanation regarding it because I'd be too influenced by the better explanations I've read and I don't want to steal. Hmmm. Mayhap I'll need to bite the bullet and finally come up with my own explanation (somthing more than what Ron relays to Harry while they were at Shell Cottage in chapter 3).

Glad I've got you enthralled - high praise again! Thanks!

Eldy


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Review #5, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: Is One Hermione Better Than Two?

9th August 2011:
Whoa! *Fans self to ward off sudden flush* That was... slightly more graphic than I was expecting. Indeed, I'm not sure what was more surprising - the scene itself or that fact that it didn't squick me at all. Wait, have you turned me into a Ron/Hermione shipper? HOW COULD YOU?!!!

Well, actually, given everything that's happened so far, how could I not be. I was not expecting this plot twist at all, but the moment I read it, I fell in love with it! I adore 'Mione getting a chance to be back with Ron, without having him cheat on Hermione. I adore how they spur each other on - her reminding him it isn't cheating, him trying to wipe away her pain. Seriously, I'm like some Hr/R fangirl!

Oh, and the final few lines of the chapter - gorgeous. Really was just the humour we needed at this point! All in all, an oddly nice accompaniment to breakfast?

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Mwahaha! I have created another Romione fiend. My evil plan has suceeded.

Yes, it is a bit graphic, but, under the unique circumstances I thought it important to go into some detail. 'Mione has been devestated by the loss of Ron and now (part of her at least) has him back. She's overwhelmed.

The merge was not part of the original plan. I'd intended for both Hermione's to go to the Clocks reality and for Ron to continue to be caught in the middle. But I thought that was getting old and I wanted 'Mione to have a chance to be with Ron again. Then my muse hit me with the merge idea and I ran with it.

So glad you liked that last line. It pops up again in another tale "The Adventures of Reckless Git and Danger Ponce," which takes place shortly after the Battle of the Pitch. I just thought, given how gooey the bond is, poking some fun at it, now and then would be fun.

Thanks again!

Eldy


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Review #6, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: The Battle of the Forbidden Forest

8th August 2011:
Of course, they'd bond over trivia! Really nice interplay between the Hermiones in this chapter, and I just loved 'Mione's response to the portrait of Snape. I also loved dumbledore's reaction to each of them. He was perfectly in character, being both insightful and discreet, focussing on getting the important things said. Very Dumbledore.

The addition of brooms to the action scenes also shows a real skill - each action scene feeling fresh and compelling. Do you draw them out, or can you just see it in your head? Either way, they really work!

Still hopelessly addicted!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Addicted?! Wow. THANKS!!

I couldn't resist the Hermione/Mione bonding moment over trivia. Glad you liked that!

The scene with Dumbledore's portrait (and Snapes "GIT!" LOL) got a rewrite about a month ago. When I saw you were reading, I moved my editing time table up and rapidly began to graft in as many edits as I could so you'd get a good piece of the polished version. So, you're the first to review the new and improved scene. Again, VERY flattered you liked it!

Action scenes. I do actually see it in my head. But its funny - I usually only start with a sharp, but short, image of the scene. As I write, I start to see it all play out more fully in my head, like a movie.

For instance, right now I have a plot bunny that's not going away and I see it like a movie. The Quartet are running through a forest and...well, I digress.

I'm so glad you're enjoying this!

Eldy


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Review #7, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: Choosing to be Chosen

8th August 2011:
Ok, so firstly, I am loving your Ron and Harry, mainly because they're actually being believable, in a way they so often aren't portrayed. The sacrifice they're being asked to make is huge, and so I love that they haven't just happily skipped off to do their duty. At the same time though, their love for the important people in their lives has made them agree in the end. That is just exactly right.

After the pace of the first two chapters, this one felt a bit slower, but I think it was really needed for us to appreciate the unfairness of it all and the magnitude of the task. And again, the dialogue and interplay in the various main relationships stopped it from getting even close to dull! Really nice stuff!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor.

Author's Response: Thanks Ella!!

This chapter has my favorite Ron/Harry discussion. Harry's brood is, I think, some of my best writing. But I get mixed reviews on it. I'm very pleased and flattered that you thought it was a "real" portrayal of them. I figured, given the circumstances, Harry would be the reluctant hero this time around. It is GROSSLY unfair - you're right. But I think I took a big risk trying to portray Harry like this - as I said, lots of folks take issue with it.

Ron's not thrilled at the prospect of doing this again, but has hardened himself to it. Though he remains devoted to the canon Hermione, on some level He's still having a hard time looking at 'Mione and not thinking that she's his and he must protect her.

Between the two of them (Harry and Ron), they figure it out and manage to get grounded and do what needs to be done.

In many ways, I really write a Ron/Harry pairing, I guess. ;)

Thanks for this stupendous review!

Eldy


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Review #8, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: The Two Hermiones

7th August 2011:
Whoa! And there's the darkness I just knew was going to be coming! As ever, gripping description, smooth dialogue and break-neck action merge to make an addictive chapter. And somehow, the chapters before now feel more perfect, because they set the scene for this to happen. Love it.

I like how you've handled the naming issues in this story - the Georges in the chapter before, the Hermiones in this one. Somehow, it all becomes very easy to follow, which is surprising given the characters involved.

Now to find out what's going on with that pendant...

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Yep. Pear-shaped with a vengeance.

I wrote this tale with two audiences in mind. those that had read clocks and those that hadn't. I also wanted to reach a larger audience by writing a Quartet tale and not just focusing on ron and hermione. In order to do that properly (and since I hadn't written ANYTHING else at the time) I needed to spend more than a few chapters building the back story of the Quartet in the canon universe. I needed to show what had been happening in their lives since the Battle of Hogwarts to get the readers invested in them. Then I lower the boom and have 'Mione from the Clocks reality show up, probably at the worst time possible for an emotionally spent Harry. I'm just no darn good...

Anyway, that's why there's such a long stretch between when 'Mione leaves the Clocks reality and appears in the Canon one.

Thanks so much for the praise of the name thing. That was a pain and took some doing. And I know lots of folks HATE Hermione being called 'Mione, so I had a little fun with that too.

Thanks again for this great review!

Eldy


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Review #9, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: Party at the Burrow - BYOC

7th August 2011:
Yes! Just when it was confusing the heck out of me, you decided to come along and properly confuse the heck out of me. This is awesome, because I now can be certain I'm supposed to be confused. I really should have more faith, I guess.

As a firm fan of SATC (wow, you share that acronym!), I have been nervously awaiting the moment when it all goes pair-shaped, and this hasn't disappointed. The ending is brilliantly edgy and leaves me desperate to click next, but that just wouldn't be fair.

Not without first waxing endlessly about the characterisations in this chapter. Mr and Doctor G are phenomenal! The idea of him being a muggle Arthur is inspired, and her being the clear Hermione-model then fits it all together perfectly. And Hermione herself - well the line about not using unapproved spells in response to someone commenting that she had in fact invented it was just like something straight out the original series, but fast forwarded on four years! Loved it.

So, the next button is calling me...

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: By the time you read this, I'm sure you'll have figured out what's going on.

SATC - Awesome! I've never seen Clocks in acronym form before. took me a minute and then my brain clicked over. LOL!

Yes, keep in mind this tale is the sequel to Clocks. But...well...hmmm. Maybe I'll wait till next chapter's response to address this. But I will say this. I was writing this tale for two audiences: those that read SATC and those that didn't. more on that later, tho.

Mr. G is my favorite. So glad you liked him! It just seemed the perfect justificiation for the R/Hr pairing, that Mr. G would be a Muggle Arthur, a lost Weasley. And Dr. G? well of course she's gotta be a carbon copy of Hermione. Really, really psyched you liked all that!

I really do love Hermione - she is just a great character all around. Whenever I have a problem plot-wise, I can always have her explain it, and it's believable. And I couldn't help poke some fun at her stern/bossiness here (and have her except the joke and laugh along with the gang) The Quartet has come a long way. They're still young, but they've grown and matured.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts on the next chapter!

Eldy


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Review #10, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: On the Beach and in the Shop

7th August 2011:
Wow, this is quite a change of pace from the last chapter. Of course, that's what leaves me so completely on the edge of my seat. Because anything could happen, at any time. You write the humour and romance just as believably as the action and horror, and so the reader never knows what's coming next.

I am surprised that the questions posed from the jump between the first and second chapters hasn't been answered. So far, that's just causing me to try and read all the faster, but I could imagine it winding me up eventually. Or am I supposed to forget about it? Hm, tricky one, you are!

Anyways, for now I still need answers!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: This is an "aaah" chapter. I figured it was time for the Quartet to sit back and chill. Besides, I love fluff. It's one of my great weaknesses. Usually, in action/adventure stuff there's isn't much room for it. So I took advantage of this lull. I'm really, really glad you liked it.

Ah yes, the "what the heck is going on!" problem. Rest assured, you'll get your answers within the next two chapters.

Moi? Tricky? I do protest! Ok, well, maybe not that much. ;)

Cheers!

Eldy


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Review #11, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: The Battle of Diagon Alley

7th August 2011:
Who writes the best fight scenes? Eldy writes the best fight scenes! Loving this chapter! The description is so edgy and compelling, that I really didn't know how things would end, and was constantly on the edge on my stool. Yet despite the fast pace, at no point did it lose coherency or vividness - I really felt like I could see it all, spell by spell. I love the originality of it too - the crossed stupefy's, the double wand blasts - all very believable, and all very unique.

The dialogue is snappy too, though I do have an unusually negative reaction to Harry and Ron calling each other brother. Don't know why, but it's probably me being odd. Still, that last line "I've been ready for eleven years" is perfect - so Harry and so right for the moment. Nicely done!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Wow!! Capella, I'm blown away by this great review.

Blushing with the praise of my fight scenes. That's my strength, so if the fights suck, I got nothing!

I picture Ron and Harry, post Hogwarts, as kind of a "buddy cop movie." The whole "brother" thing, gets addressed in "Battle of the Pitch." They didn't just start doing that automatically - it took a very nasty fight in the Archives at the ministry and the aftermath for them to get to this point. So, rest assured, there is an explanation. Ditto as to the crossed wand spells (I cover that in "The Proposal") and Harry's use of that new "Disgorgio" spell as well as why Harry's and Yaxley's wands lock (both points are addresed in "The Tipping Point." - there's a timeline for all these stories in the author's note at the end of the final chapter of Crusade).

Thanks so much, again for this great review! I love hearing from you.

Eldy


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Review #12, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: A Better Place

7th August 2011:
But...wait...huh? I'm extremely confused. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be, but nonetheless, confused is the word for it!

Still, confusion aside, this is a brilliant chapter. The action is compelling, and the reader feels like they are right there, seeing everything as clearly as in a film. However, you manage this without endless and pointless description, and that is what really makes this great.

Your characterisations are as spot on as ever, and while the very concept of Hermione and Ron normally makes me gag, you somehow make them workable. Possibly because they actually seem like a real, bickering-y adult couple. Careful, people might work out you're a grown up too!

Overall a fantastic chapter. Must read more NOW!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Don't worry, you're not crazy. Everything makes sense by the end of chapter 5 - begining of chapter 6. I promise.

Okay, for a non- R/Hr shipper to praise this story is pretty amazing. Thank you! And thanks as well for priase of the descriptiveness. That's never been one of my strong suits so I'm glad you like the flow.

Promise not to tell anyone I'm an old fogie? LOL!

Eldy


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Review #13, by Capella BlackChildren's Crusade: The Fall of Beauxbatons

7th August 2011:
Ok, so I'm still confused as to how the summary can be true given the plot so far. I also really wish I hadn't read it at all, because anything that might spoil one word of this story is pure evil. Seriously, I just cleared my whole evening!

I love your Hermione - she's both utterly in character and yet changed by what she's been through. And Ronnie too is adorably believable - intelligent like his mother, serious like his upbringing. The atmosphere is edgy and keeps the reader desperate to skip the whole review malarkey and get on with the next chapter. The spelling, grammar, and sentence flow are as flawless as I'd expect from you. So, with nothing else useful to add, I'll go on to the next chapter!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Hey Capella!

So you've found Crusade! I'm truly flattered. I do hope you like the ride. I like to think its a doozy.

Hermione is such a great character. I hope you find that I continue to do her justice. She'll go through somthing of a...transformation...in this tale. Ronnie; he gets some more development later on. I hope you like that, too.

Have no worries about leaving long reviews. No higher flatery out there than being so engrossed you don't want to waste time reviewing. You can make up for it by leaving an extra long one on the last chapter ;)

This whole thing is currently undergoing a final polish. I'm on the last chapter now; once that's done, I'll be reposting the entire tale from start to finish. No worries tho, as to what you might miss in the re write. Primarily some gramar hickups, a few clarifications and I make sure that Audrey makes an appearance so that it jives with the rest of the Crusadiverse (Battle of the Pitch, to be precise).

So, once again, welcome to Crusade!

Eldy


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Review #14, by Capella BlackAriana: Ariana

6th August 2011:
Wow. I LOVE your Ariana. I mean, really. You capture this character so well, showing how someone can seem so damaged and yet underneath makes complete sense. The explanations for her actions work perfectly, and they make me feel so very sorry for her.

I especially love the last few paragraphs, where she finally gets the love and attention she wants when it's all too late. That's gorgeous, and wrapped the whole story up nicely, so that it felt like it had come to an end for more than simply because the protagonist died. It felt like she was finished.

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much. That means a lot, because I was really worried about getting Ariana "right". I'm glad you thought I did!

Thanks so much.


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Review #15, by Capella BlackFrozen Doll: Broken Doll

6th August 2011:
Dark! This challenge was always one I meant to get round to entering, but after reading your entry, I'm glad I didn't try and beat you!

This piece is definitely full of mystery and suspense. I find myself asking all the obvious questions. Why did she die? How did she die? Why did no one care? What had happened in the rest of her life since Hogwarts, that her death wouldn't matter? I love how you evoke these questions, and even more how you purposely don't answer them. By the end, I realised that I actually didn't need to know - the point was that her death was sad and meaningless regardless. No explanations could have made it OK, so having none actually made it all more beautiful.

Really nice idea! Thanks for sharing!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Wait, I won this challenge? Haha did not know that...haha.

I tried really hard to be suspenseful and I am glad that I succeeded. I am not allowed to say how she died...so you will just have to assume things :D. You are welcome...I am glad I shared!

xxpetrapan, Gryffindor


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Review #16, by Capella BlackShe never knew: She never knew

6th August 2011:
Aww, this piece is so sad! Poor Ron, and poor Hermione! I really got a sense that they had been together too little, and that made this seem really hard and sad (I said that already!)

The piece does have quite a lot of errors in grammar and punctuation - tense, pronoun use etc. This made it harder to read at points, and so having someone give it a technical beta might be good. Still, it's got a lovely mood to it, and a beautiful use of music interwoven with the plot.

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Thanks! I've always had this stupid mistakes... I can't help it, really... :) I'm glad that doesn't stop people from liking my plots, though. :)

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Review #17, by Capella BlackTears among the rain: Tears among the rain

6th August 2011:
This piece is very unusual. I like how you've left us to learn who the protagonist is bit by bit, by focussing on the present rather than spending a long time on overt description or explanation of the back-story. This always feels more natural.

I liked the use of poetic language too. However, it did at points get a bit too strong, which made the jump to a more narrative style at the end somewhat jarring. Perhaps more narrative from the start would help, or more poetry at the end? It might also help the flow if some of the commas were replaced with other punctuation, namely full stops or semi colons as needed. That could just be me, but I think it could make this piece even better.

Overall though, a really nice concept. Thanks for sharing it with us!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Thanks. I do have problems with getting from narrative to poetic and vice versa... I'm into poetic, but narration is also needed...

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Review #18, by Capella BlackA Night With Nellie: Cedric & Nellie

6th August 2011:
Hi Kat! This is a really sweet concept, and I love the love-hate relationship that they start with, before it develops into something more. I would once again point out that the biggest flaw is the use of author's notes and ***scene change***s. These really pull the reader out of the story and thus make us feel like you're describing the story, rather than that we're watching it directly. This breaks the mood, which otherwise is pretty poignant and moving!

Overall though, a really nice idea, and one that adds a whole new level to the sadness that is Cedric's death.

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! Again thank you for pointing this out to me. I really appreciate your CC, and I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story.
~Kat


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Review #19, by Capella BlackTroubled waters: Acceptance

6th August 2011:
Awww! How on Earth have you made this story end well? I mean seriously, I couldn't possibly see a good way out, and yet it works. Ron's stuck with a compromise that he wouldn't choose, but that he accepts as more than he deserves, and Pansy gets enough that she can look back at the events without anger and resentment.

Overall, it's a truly mature story - in the sense that it covers mature themes maturely and so leaves the reader feeling like they've been shown a new point of view. It's uncomfortable at points, because of this, as it makes me as a reader consider things that I'd previously dismissed as inexcusable, and yet it's compelling and completely un-preachy. That's extremely rare, but extremely welcome!

Thanks so much for sharing this piece with us!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Ah, Ella, you know me. I'm canon. Therefore, I had to find a way to make the DH epilogue still work, and for that to happen Hermione had to take him back. So, this was what I chose. No one's particularly happy with the outcome (save Pansy), but I thought it was good to see Ron and Hermione trying,a t least, to sort things out.

I'm glad that you feel like you've been shown something new here. Adultery isn't an easy thing to write about but being preachy isn't in my nature so, once I started, I was just interested in telling the story rather than telling people what SHOULD be happening, and how people SHOULD be reacting. I think that if you're old enough to read a Mature story,you should be able to make those decisions for yourself, right?

In any case, thanks again. I really love your reviews and these, when they appeared, really made my day. *hugs*

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by Capella BlackTroubled waters: Recriminations

6th August 2011:
Finally! I've been waiting for Ron to actually get that what he was doing was wrong, and I love that it was Harry that made him see that. In particular, it's great to see Harry being angry and yet not completely turning against his friend, which given how close he is to Hermione, could have been a possibility. Still, Harry isn't one to take sides, and you've captured that really well.

I particularly love the Britishisms in this chapter - they're not that easy for many writers, but in this chapter you've used them perfectly, and it really adds a air of authenticity to the story. Nice one!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: I really liked this scene with Harry, actually. He'd be torn, because the two of them are his closest friends (not including Ginny), but he'd also be slapping Ron about the head a bit, figuratively of course, to make him see things as they should be seen, not from the self-justification angle he's been using to be able to live with himself. I was really pleased to get a review from a man of similar age to me in which he said he'd had that talk with a friend of his and I got it down pat, so clearly I was doing something right here.

I have to admit I had to read it through again to work out what Britishisms I used, but then again I'm pretty used to them by now (I think) so maybe it was second nature. In any case, thank you!! *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by Capella BlackTroubled waters: Decisions

6th August 2011:
Were you having a man-hating season while you wrote this? Because at every turn, Pansy becomes more likeable, and Ron seems more like a self-obsessed jerk. I'm not saying this isn't true to reality in some cases, but it's not the way most people would come at this pairing!

Having said that, it's continuing to be completely believable. Pansy hasn't got an agenda, or anyone else for her to turn to instead of him, so wouldn't be anything but nice. While Ron has everything to lose and no reason to treat her well. This makes it very hard for him to end up as the good guy, and thus he doesn't.

Not sure if I'll like him any more in the future chapters, but very keen to find out!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Lol. Man-hating? No. Very pregnant, yes, though, so maybe that was coming out. And Ron being the self obsessed jerk was the only way to keep this going, really, in the way I wanted it too. But then again, he's a good man, so doing something like this would really screw him around mentally, don't you think? The self justification mingled with the guilt would probably have that effect on him, I suspect.

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by Capella BlackTroubled waters: Repercussions

6th August 2011:
Again, this chapter has both annoyed and intrigued me. Annoyed, because I hate people cheating, and yet intrigued, because I can really understand why they are both doing it, even if I wouldn't condone it.

I love how you've constructed this slippery slope for Ron to tumble down. It was just a drink. It's just meeting up with a school chum. It was just a one night stand. It is escapism and a set of 'encounters'. Pansy's justification - that he needs a break and to relax - is even more believable, if that's possible, because if that's how she sees such activities generally, then why wouldn't she see her own that way too?

So yeah, this chapter was all about the inevitability of it all, and the way they both allow the situation to happen. Really nicely done.

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor.

Author's Response: Got it in one. You can understand the behaviour but you don't condone it. Just what I was going for, so thank you! :) It was indeed a slippery slope but again, that's how these things happen, one step at a time, and then you're in too deep to get out of it. Sigh. Still, I'm really pleased that you're getting this much out of it because it was a tricky thing to get right, with the motivations and the self-denial and everything. So thanks again!

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by Capella BlackTroubled waters: The second mistake

6th August 2011:
Ron Weasley! Also, Melian! I'm a little shocked! On the other hand, I'm glad to see that he was acting somewhat spontaneously, because adultery Ron isn't someone I like very much.

Having said that, you're reasonings are really good - it's not just "I don't get this at home so I can do whatever I want", but it's also not "this is wrong, why aren't I stopping?". Instead it's the perfect mix of guilt and defensiveness, that fits both the plotline given and the character of Ron.

Weirdly, as I'm going off Ron, I'm beginning to like Pansy more. She's very believable, and doesn't make excuses for who and what she is, which I find oddly endearing. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next. On that note...

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor!

Author's Response: I don't like adultery-anyone very much, but it does happen (quite a lot, unfortunately) and I was trying to show how it could, even when someone is happily married. He feels guilty and he knows that what he's doing is wrong, but he can't help himself and is therefore defensive to try to save some face. I hated doing this to him (he's a great character and I really don't think adultery is in his psyche) but, hey, isn't that the point of a challenge?

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by Capella BlackTroubled waters: A chance encounter

6th August 2011:
No! Run away now! Hmm, it seems that no matter how much I shout at Ron, he isn't going to listen to me.

I LOVE how you've started this story so far. As you've said, this is a pretty hard pairing to make realistic, and yet I'm completely buying this. I can totally see the combination of booze, loneliness and 'but it's ok, I know her' leading to Ron letting his guard down, and I can't wait to see how it plays out from this point onwards.

As ever the writing style is flawless and a pleasure to read. I always feel with your stories that I am simply right there, rather than listening to someone tell me about it. I think it's how you avoid unnecessary florid prose, and instead use metaphor and description simply when needed. That's rare, but so powerful.

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor.

Author's Response: Hi Ella! And thanks for dropping by this story, because it hasn't had a lot of attention (despite the short chapters which I hoped might get it some reads during review fest, hahaha).

Anyway yes, Ron, run away now! But I was given a pairing and had to pursue that to wherever it took me, and for Ron that is, indeed, a combination of booze, loneliness and familiarity, as you said. Not wise of him, but then again if people are thinking straight then these situations just don't happen, do they?

thanks again, Mel


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Review #25, by Capella BlackPrincess Annie Bananie Fofanie Turkministanie Mementoanie Supercalifragilisticexpialidanie Grannie Sosandie Saskatchewanie Millinuinanie Tortosanie of MikeAndIkeLandia's BIG adventure: FENRIR SAYS HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! :O

6th August 2011:
Wow, that was bad. Like, really bad. Well done! This really has captured some of the worst things about fan fiction in a truly hilarious way - an's in the story, ridiculous names, extreme Americanisms in a British fan fiction, to name but a few. Referencing AVPM was also awesome, because who parodies better than the masters?

Don't have much to say about the plot, other than that I love the idea of singing in a flurry of flurriness! Don't know why, but I think that amused me most of all!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: xD I love this story! It's just so painful and yet I giggle every time someone mentions it in a review! :) And you mean I'm not supposed to sing in a flurry of flurryness? *snaps fingers* No wonder I never succeeded in musical theater! :P Hehe, thanks for the review,
Annie :D


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