Oh wow. I sat here, thrilled to see a one-shot with flesh and bones, over 9,000 words, something I could really immerse myself into, and you allowed me to slip into Theodore's world perfectly!
I'd love to leave a long, fully rounded review, but I wouldn't know where to start or what to say. I found very few grammar and spelling mistakes, which needn't be touched upon for I was never once distracted them. I absolutely love the use of second person, coming from the voice of Theo's mother. Your story is beautiful and written so superbly, with clean flashbacks and transitions. It evoked real emotions within and was such a hard hitting piece as it progressed. Your characterisations of everyone were gleaming with a polished sheen! I absolutely loved this! Keep up the beautiful craft!Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much. Yes, my oneshots always seem to be extremely long. It doesn't seem like you can have a *real* story without a high word count, a least for me. This one ended up over 11,000 and I decided that was just a little too long, so I narrowed it down just a little, but not enough to effect the story.
I loved writing this in second person. It was different. I've played around with third and first, but this is my first full piece written in third. It really was fun.
I'm so glad you liked it so much. :D I'm pretty proud of this story. Report Review
Hey, thanks for entering my challenge, an sorry for the late review >.<
First of all, I want to praise you on your characterisation, the way you have portrayed both Tracey and Pansy was really true and honest. I could see them as fully rounded characters with a real history and sense of life within them, it really made the poignancy hit home alot more. I really like the femslash themes with Tracey (we so rarely see it on HPFF) and I think it is one of the more believable and even likeable relationships, even if it isn't shared by both parties. You tackled this subject so well with a great execution.
I really like the idea of the plot too. You pulled it off well with a really enjoyable style of writing, and I was actually touched by all the characters. Pansy's willingness to help Draco, Tracey's loyalty and love for Pansy, and even the girl who tried to help Tracey. The story line is really believable, I truly always imagined Pansy would have just rushed straight to Hogsmeade, but you definitely changed my mind on that! It's a shame Tracey had to follow her and end the way she did, your portrayel of her really made me like her as a person.
The ending was perfect. I do like the fact that she died, not because I'm morbid or anything (lol) but because of the circumstances, she wasn't fighting to protect the castle or for Harry's benefit. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time because she truly loved Pansy. I really hope her love would benefit Pansy in some way, Tracey needs to live on somehow!
Thanks again and well done on an excellent one-shot! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your lengthy review! I'm glad i was able to portray the characters correctly, i did find it difficult to write about Pansy, but I'm glad you approve! :) Report Review
Ohh, this was interesting (:
I like the way you've captured Tonks' journey, and her feelings/thoughts, I think they were very close to what I would imagine her to go through.
I like the way you intergrated the object, it must have been a toughie, but you used it cleverly :D
This was quite different to what I usually read, but I definitly enjoyed it!Author's Response: Yay! Thanks so much :D I tried to keep her in character and all. And yes, the object was rather difficult to do.
Thanks again for the wonderful review :D Report Review
(L) I want to saturate you with adjectives but my vocabulary is limited when it comes to describing you. Lol :D I love it, except Harry just get's a bit too girly for me when he's all huffy about Draco not loving him. But I've never really liked Harry :Author's Response: Oh I love Harry!! But he's OCC in this story I'll admit that. This was one of those one-shots that just came out and I didn't have much control over what the characters decided to do. :) He was a bit brave at the end though! Walking away like that. At least he didn't cry. :P
Lol thank you for reviewing! Glad you liked it. :) Report Review
Poor Chloe!! You can't take her magic awayy!! )): Report Review
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