Reading Reviews From Member: MuggleMaybe
205 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MuggleMaybeIn The End: Chapter Two

24th April 2017:
Freeing Sam for CtF =)

Hello! I was interested to discover this was an Tonks/Remus story. For whatever reason, they aren't very common. Or perhaps I just don't seek them out. (I confess: I am a wolfstar shipper.) Either way, I haven't read much about their 'courtship' or how they got together, and the books leave a lot unsaid. It's a cool missing moment to look at the conversations and interactions that led up to their marriage.

Nymphadora is so stubborn! But Remus is, too. They are a perfect match. ;) And i'm glad Tonks is stubborn because otherwise she and Sirius would never have gotten together. He's being silly, anyway. I don't think being a werewolf is hereditary! That said, I thought all of his anxieties were very in characters.

I hope you won't mind if I offer some CC, while I'm here.

Be careful about verb tense. You sometimes switch between past and present tense. I also found them almost too articulate in their dialogue. It's very formal and doesn't strike me as being all that affectionate.

Anyway, although the dialogue is a little stiff, I can tell from what they say that they really care about each other, When Tonks says that she doesn't mind working to support the whole family, I thought that was very sweet. Of course, i can't see Remus being very happy at the idea of no contributing, but he would be an amazing stay at home dad. Well, and just an amazing dad in general.

God, it is hurting my heart so much to know that after so many worries about whether they could be parents, they were only able to spend a few months with their son. *sobs* It's just SO. WRONG. Poor Remus. Poor Dora. And, especially, poor Teddy! This is a bittersweet story!

Thank you for the interesting read! :)

Author's Response: OMG Thank you!!! I don't mind constructive criticism. I will keep that in mind when I write the next chapter. I am planning on making my story have a sorta happy ending. Please check back for new chapters soon!

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Review #2, by MuggleMaybeThe Network: Rat

24th April 2017:
belatedly freeing Sam for CTF.

Hello! I am excited to read this because I think Marietta is a character with a lot of potential and nuance, and she is rarely explored. I'm looking forward to seeing how to interpret her.

Ugh, this job sounds very boring indeed. what a dull thing to do all day. You do a good job of capturing the monotony of that kind of work.

But oh. The ministry is searching for traitors. So at the moment, Marietta/Etta is complicit in their horribleness.

Oh, it's Reg! Good ol' Reg =) I always like seeing him pop up in stories.

Okay but WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH JUNIPER SWIFT??? Now I really want to know what's going on behind the scenes.

The first scene with Cho is really interesting. Her life is certainly a lot different from how it was. Working in a muggle optician office is an interesting choice. She's chosen the high road and Marietta has chosen the easy road. Or, that's how it seems to me. And Marietta's mum is friends with Dolores. UGH. Double UGH. Of all the people to get a recommendation from.

Also, it's terrible that the SNEAK acne still shows. I'd like to think Hermione wouldn't have made it permanent. That's really cruel and I'm disappointed in Hermione for doing it. As much as I love Hermione, I can't blame Marietta from holding a grudge.

It seems to me that Cho sees the reality of what's happening, and Marietta doesn't really grasp it, and Cho can't
forgive her for that. But the arrival of a dead rat and her mother as a founder of the Muggleborn Registration Cmomittee makes me think she is about to learn a lot very quickly. I hope she does.

Also, I hope she learns how to vanish that horrible acne ;)

you're writing is always great, and this definitely drew me in. I know in you A/N you say it's a bit dry, and I suppose in terms of the setting it is. But I've enjoyed it all the same. =)

thanks for a good read!

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Review #3, by MuggleMaybeUpper Class: Chapter One

23rd April 2017:
Here to free Sam from jail for CTF =)

WOW, what a way to start! Maybe it's because I didn't get into fic until later on in the fandom, but I've never encountered a story with this premise before. It is so bizarre to think of Hermione as a pure blood! And what a complicated lie for her parents to maintain for sooo long!

I have many questions. Are her parents really dentists, or were they, like, the magic equivalent of that but she never knew? Did her parents go to Hogwarts? Did someone come to explain Hogwarts to them when Hermione was excepted? Was it McGonagall? Did she recognize them? If they were so cautious and knew how dangerous things were, why did they let Hermione keep going back and do all that stuff? And, if they were friends with the Malfoys, does that mean they were blood purists? God, that's a terrible thought, isn't it?!

Seriously, I clicked next and started reading chapter two without noticing, and then realized I needed to come back and review because Sam is waiting! haha

The point is, this is a very successful first chapter - it really peeked my curiosity and made me want to read more. I'm not generally a Dramione reader, but this one has me hooked!

I really enjoyed how you characterized everyone - i think the golden trio is hard to write, and you captured them well =)

only CC is there are a few typos. Those sneaky things!

I am extremely interested to see where you take this.
Well done!
xoxo Renee

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Review #4, by MuggleMaybeUnrighteous: Turbulent Thursday

20th April 2017:
Hello dear! I'm here for CTF because you are the flag author! I must say, I was pretty pleased we I heard that bit of news. Up late reading Gina stories? Um, YES PLEASE! ♥

WHAT IS SHE WRITING?! You've definitely hooked me from the start!

Ok I just read the letter and I'm sorry for being shouty but that did NOT CLARIFY ANYTHING! Now I have more questions than ever!

fyi I already like this fic =)

ooh, we're going back in time a bit. Interesting framing device.

Aww, those poor boys! What a sad bit of news. And mysterious, too... Dude, she is not insane. Her observation about the broomsticks is right on point. Like, Sherlock level detecting!

Whenever anyone says "As you wish," I always think of the Princess Bride, and now I ship them on principle. I'm not sure which principle. Maybe The Wesley Principle. :P
Ah, darn. Shipping is clearly a poor choice. I reluctantly take it back.

oh my god. I don't know what i would do if I had to work with that guy. What an absolute jerk! Ugh!

I thought you captured Hermione and her response to this sort of person very well. At first she's sort of the 'kill them with kindness' type but then that doesn't work and eventually her temper wears thin and boom! Even hermione has her limits!

You've successfully got me hooked her. I want to know what the deal is with Parker, and with Nathaniel.

Also, i'm kind of excited that Ginny is pregnant. Or maybe James i a baby. Either way

Great work as usual!
xoxo Renee

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Review #5, by MuggleMaybeOpals and Fire: Cuckoo

20th April 2017:
Hello Sian! I'm here to free Sam from jail for CTF. =)

Oh! This is a Katie story! I LOVE Katie Bell, she's one of my favorite characters to read about and she's so rarely written. Yay for this fic! :D

hmmm, although this is not exactly what I expected. But that is okay. I'm all in for weird and slightly morbid! ;)

The moment when Katie is possessed by the necklace is a truly fascinating choice for a missing moment piece. I mean, this might be the most creative canon moment I've ever seen captured in fic. I think it is.

The way you wrote it, I feel so sorry for Katie because this is legitimately terrifying. I was actually scared at the beginning. The way you describe the hallucinations and everything being deadly and bizarre... ugh. It's brilliant, actually! I mean, you truly capture the feeling of insanity. And within that spiral, and linger shard of sanity that is almost worse because it has her panicking over her own mental state. "Cuckoo" and etc. I think that's extremely clever and well captured.

I was so proud of her for fighting her way out. What a strong, amazing gryffindor she is! *cheers* *hugs katie*
It's interesting that you mentioned Harry's stag in her visions as she emerges. Are you perhaps a seekerbell shipper?

Regardless, this was super well written, just like everything you write is. Seriously, I don't know how you do it. This piece is so dark and terror-ridden, but you've managed to write it in a way that is still beautiful.

Amazing work!

xoxo Renee

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Review #6, by MuggleMaybeMaking a Broken Heart: Making Mistakes

19th April 2017:
Hi Lo! I'm here to free Sam for CTF Game 5.

I've read Making the Reserves (and I'm eagerly awaiting new chapters), so I was excited to discover that this is a companion piece.

I remembered that Molly had tried the Chelmondiston Charge at Hogwarts, during recruitment, but I didn't remember whether or not she was successful! It must have been so extremely scary to fall all that way!

Quidditch action is notoriously difficult to write, but I'd never know that if I only read your stories. You make it look effortless! I love the detail about her eyes tearing. I remember that happening when sledding or even just walking if it's cold enough.

The way you characterize Molly is very fun to read. She's so determined and daring. I remember thinking that in MtR, too. (Are you sure you've sorted her correctly? I mean, Ravenclaws can be brave but still =P ) I'm amazed she wanted to try this move again after her fall, but then again you show us very clearly that it's in her character to take that sort of risk.

but oh! Who is Christopher?! I see a budding romance, I believe! I don't have a very good feeling about. I mean, the title of the story is Making a Broken Heart, after all. I'm not a complete fool =P

Plus, I don't remember him from MtR. I just hope it doesn't end too badly and Molly doesn't get hurt. (Fat chance of that, but I can dream)

I am so happy I got another chance to read about Molly!

xoxo Renee

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Review #7, by MuggleMaybeRun: Run

19th April 2017:
Hello! I'm here for Round 5 of CTF.

Remus is one of my absolute favorite characters, so I'm always pleased to find a story that focuses on him. I really liked how you characterized him. I think he would feel very conflicted about his friends becoming animagi. On the one hand, it was incredibly kind for them to go to so much trouble to support him, and his transformations will definitely be less terrible now. On the other hand, they've found a way to get closer to him, and I suspect Remus tried to avoid letting people get close to him because he is so afraid of hurting them. Poor guy. *hugs remus*

I also love that he got so angry and they were taken aback because he's usually calm. I'm similar to Remus in that i rarely lose my temper, and when I do people act like *I've* turned into a werewolf. It's so annoying. I'm glad we got to see him being human and flawed.

Actually, you've characterized the other Marauders very well, too. Especially Sirius, who is always the most important in Remus-focused stories because #WolfstarForever ;) He has, as you even mention, that certain bravado and cavalier attitude that lends him charm. And mischief. We can't forget the mischief!

I really love the visual of a transformed Wormtail ridding on Sirius'/Padfoot's head. At least, I love it it I pretend that I don't hate Peter with an eternal and fiery rage haha

That's a nice specific original story for Prongs' nickname. I wonder how Remus will feel about being called Moony... I'm guessing he won't like it too much!

It's very interesting that Remus remembers his transformations more clearly when he's with the Marauders. I don't remember that from canon but it's cool.

Well done!

Author's Response: First of all yes: #wolfstarforever- I love that!!
Secondly- I loath Peter, the filthy treacherous rat.
I really thought Remus would be conflicted about this; he would be terrified of hurting his friends or that they would shun him, seeing him as a monster. Bless him :'( I think it would only be this that would make him lash out!!

Thanks again :)

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Review #8, by MuggleMaybeChristmas Magic: Christmas Magic

19th April 2017:
Hello! I'm here to break Sam out of jail for CTF.

Aww! What an adorable story! Everyone should be so lucky as to have a Christmas like this, children and adults alike.

I have to admit, I haven't read any of your other stories about Albus and Flick. They seem like a very lovely couple. And Flick is clearly a very kind and sweet person, and playful too. Playful characters are a lot of fun to read. =) And the kids is this are so cute, too!

I can tell you have a very strong sense of these characters and how they interact with each other. It's really beautiful to find a write rwho can convey those dynamics so seamlessly.

And Santa. So sweet. I loved how you wrote the awe of the little kids. Four years old is SUCH a great age for make believe and holidays. I just want to snuggle up with those kiddos!

You included some very cute details. For example, that they call their bedroom The Purple Palace. And the owl attacking the christmas tree. They really breathe life into such a short story.

The mentions of other next generation characters were intriguing. Obviously Albus and Flick are a couple. And it seems Ria and James are a couple. James plays quidditch. And Victoire has kids, but it's only Albus and Victoire with kids out of all the weasley grandchildren. I really need to raid your author page to find out what else your next generation characters are up to, because i really enjoyed seeing how you wrote these characters.

Have you ever read The Giver? In that book, there's a scene where Jonas receives a memory of love, and it's a Christmas scene. I think this could have been that memory, because it is so so so full of love. It's simply a really beautiful little piece of writing.

Nice work. =)

Author's Response: Hi,

Aww thank you. I think everyone should have as much fun as Christmas as kids do, you're never too old for Christmas Magic!!

I adore writing these characters, because they've been a big part of my life lol. Thank you, I have definitely found it hard to write these characters because of other things which have happened and various things that I have had going on, so I'm glad they come across as so real in a way with the way they act.

I think the small details in stories/about characters make them more real and relatable. The kids in this story are the perfect age because they're just old enough to properly understand Santa and things and are still little enough to believe in the magic.

Yep, you have Flick and Al, and of course James and Ria. Currently Albus and Victoire are the only Weasley grandchildren who have children, but that may change soon haha. So far there are only really Albus/Flick stories and one for Dom and Rose currently set in this universe.

I haven't, but thank you so much for comparing this to that since that's an actually book lol. Thanks for R+R'ing and have a Merry Christmas!!


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Review #9, by MuggleMaybeIncandescence : Boom

19th April 2017:
Hello dear! I'm here for CTF Game #5 =)

I already feel excited about this story for two reasons. One is that I know how brilliantly you address PTSD, because your challenge entry for my microfiction challenge was about that. And also, my childhood best friend's father couldn't go to the fireworks on July 4th because he is a Vietnam vet and it triggered PTSD for him. So this is a theme close to my heart.

At the very beginning of this, I was focusing on George and it was so happy. He's having fun with his son and he seems happy, and that was really lovely. But then you shift away from the to Percy. I think the contrast makes it even more painful to see him suffering, because I think in these cases there's always a sense of being at fault for your response. ie, "why am I struggling with this? He's fine. She's fine. Everyone is fine, except me. What is the matter with me?" At that is obviously not how anyone deserves to think about his/her self, but it still happens a lot and you've sort of touched on that without explicitly mentioning it.

You characterize Percy PERFECTLY. His attempt to ignore his trauma by focusing on work, but then being frustrated that he isn't meeting his own work standards, is just so utterly in character. I sometimes think that's why he made the choices he did at the start of the war - because facing things head on was too traumatic, so he through himself into achievement and career.

When I read the line "every single one of them was full with several bodies", I thought right away of bodies in the Great Hall, so I was really excited when I saw you make that connection later. Very well foreshadowed!

And when Percy says it should have been him who died. Oh, my heart. *hugs Percy*
I understand that feeling, but nevertheless it's so heartbreaking to read about someone feeling that way. I think that sort of pain and grief and guilt is the worst feeling there is.

I do have one bit of CC< because I know you're a committed enough writer to be interested -

You've done a wonderful job of *showing* how Percy feels in this story, and then in this sentence you come out and say so bluntly that he began to break down. As a reader, this took me out of the story a little. I think you could remove that sentence entirely and it would be fine, or you could add in more details to show him breaking down. I know 'show don't tell' is cliche and not always useful as a writing tip, but I do think it applies here.

Anyway, that very small thought aside, this was brilliant, as usual. I was looking forward to leaving you a CTF review at last, and you did not disappoint!

xoxo Renee

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Review #10, by MuggleMaybeDating Hannah : Sangria Saturday (The First Date)

14th April 2017:
Back on the hunt for CTF!

This story is so funny! You've certainly interpreted Neville in an interesting way. I usually see him written as rather serious, but here he's a bit of a disaster, isn't he? I mean, a well-intended disaster, but still. It's pretty mortifying that his own grandmother thinks he smells bad. Also, it's pretty mortifying that he and the boys ever went... what to call it? Garbage diving? Ugh. =P

Of all the people to go to for relationship advice, Ronald Weasley has to be the worst on the planet, and this story definitely proves that point - with hilarious results! I mean, did he do the chicken dance?? This is just making crack up right now!

I want to go to theme nights and the Leaky Cauldron. That was a brilliant idea, I must say. I love that Hannah is so sweet and sincere and kind while Neville is making an absolute idiot of himself. (he really shouldn't ever drink again!) What a catch. *hugs hannah*

Well, and neville is a catch too, usually. But i'm not so sure in this story hahaha

My favorite character in this has to be Augusta. She's got the great dry wit, similar to mcgonagall, but what I love most is that despite being hard on neville (with good reason, i would say), she clearly loves him and feels affectionate toward him. Sometimes people make her so still and cold toward him and I hate to think of Neville growing up that way.

Anyway, I need to come back and read this again when I'm not in a CTF induced rush but what an incredible fun story! I'm so glad I found my way here!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: HAHA! Don't you love it? Dumpster diving, garbage diving, whatever you call it it just sounds so bad but so good! I love it!

I think Ron is a hopeless romantic. I really do but to actually take advice from him would be a terrible terrible idea. I think he works for Hermione. Everything he does. Everything he says. It's a-okay in their relationship because they know each other so well. They are on a different level. A different wave!

I love writing Augusta. She's kind of my weakness. I think she would have been hard on Neville when he was younger but as he got older she respected him a little bit more and they would have had a different relationship. I mean don't we all with our parents and everyone else in our family?

Thanks so much for the wonderful review! Hope to see you again!

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Review #11, by MuggleMaybeA Free Elf: A Free Elf

14th April 2017:
Are all your stories this sad? If so, my tear ducts are really in for a workout tonight. ;)

I think Dobby seems very challenging to write, especially from an attached third- or a first- person perspective. I know you said in your author's note that it was hard to get in his head, but I think you did a pretty good job.

It really strikes me that Dobby isn't thinking about any of the immediate events in this moment. He does think about Bellatrix briefly, but that's only a blip among his thoughts. He seems to have a very philosophical way of understanding the world and his life. I think that's a nice characterization for him. He shows a wisdom beyond what some would predict. As usual.

It's interesting that you worry about blowing their friendship out of proportion, because I actually think this makes Harry's friendship into a considerable burden for Dobby, much more so than a source of comfort. I mean, Dobby clearly loves Harry and he's clearly willing to make incredible sacrifices on Harry's behalf. Including the ultimate sacrifice. (I'm not crying, I swear.) But he's also been held back from other experiences by his devotion to harry. I mean, his devotion to harry causes his death. my heart is crumbling, gah

I very much appreciate that you've presented their relationship as one of such complexity. I think Dobby deserves that.

Really well done on this!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed my little story. This was difficult to write because at the time I wrote only humor stories. To write something completely out of that genre seemed like such a hurdle to me. I think his relationship with Harry is a burden. In a way he has to be thankful for Harry because without him he wouldn't have been freed so he owes him a lot but his dedication to Harry causes him his life. I think mentioning Bellatrix more in the story would've taken the light that is Dobby out of it. He's okay with dying for the cause. I think most of them were. I don't see him holding onto this anger towards her. It's all very warped in my head. Thank you for the wonderful review!

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Review #12, by MuggleMaybeBaby Weasley : Baby Weasley

14th April 2017:
I'm here for Hufflepuff CTF

Oh, well. Okay then. Just go ahead and tear my heart out with your first three sentences. Poor Fred. Poor Ron for losing Fred. *hugs everyone*

There are so many different kinds of fear. I really think that word is inadequate to apply to the human condition =P

"Ron had spent most of his life waiting" --> what a great sentence

It's interesting that even in the wizarding world, having a baby is so painful. I guess some things just can't be helped by magic. I feels really bad for Hermione right now though.

DUDE. You are not pulling any punches. I like that you give as a glimpse in the moment, and then afterwards have Ron look back on the labor and give a clear explanation. I think that's how these sorts of moments *feel*

for god's sake. this is just. ugh. you are KILLING ME. Ron clearly loved his daughter SO MUCH immediately and why did this have to happen?? *SOBS*

okay, i've finished it. That was probably the saddest story I've ever read. Which brings me to why I read it - I love this Taylor Swift song! Such a sweet, pretty song. But not one I've previously thought of as sad. It's definitely going to have a different tone now =P

Your language and narrative style in this works so well. I like that you kept the dialogue to a minimum. I have a real sense of how Ron feels and how these memories ply out in his mind. And in memory, there isn't as much dialogue, expect for when the words are particularly striking. Which certainly applies to a loved one crying out in pain, so it was a nice compliment that you gave as a little dialogue there.

This is beautiful and heartbreaking in the extreme. Wonderfully done.

Author's Response: THAT SONG IS SO SAD! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can't listen to it. It never fails to make a little tear fall from my eye. I think the song is actually about a little boy, a fan of hers I think, who had cancer. Don't quote me on that though.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. This story does mean a lot to me. It was hard to write and though it is short it really packed an emotional punch.

Sometimes things just happens. That's what I wanted to get across here. You can love someone before they're even born. Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing but sometimes the worse can happen when you least expect it. Ron had already fallen in love with his daughter before she was conceived. He's that kind of dad. You know what I mean? So it comes off just 10x worse that this happened to him and Hermione. It's just so sad but it does happen. I don't think magic would have done anything differently to prevent a stillbirth or a miscarriage or anything. It's just this innate human thing that is beyond the scope of magic and beyond the scope of just about anything. In my thoughts anyway.

Thank you again for the wonderful review!

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Review #13, by MuggleMaybeRecipe for Disaster: A Recipe for Disaster

14th April 2017:
Hello dear! I'm back to read another of your wonderful stories to free Sam for CTF. :)

This is Just Lovely. It's so sweet and silly. I'm student teaching in first grade right now and I can just imagine how my students would giggle if they witnessed a scene like this! Truly, it's delightful. You added such wonderful details about Dumbledore. I love the teddy bear hair clips. haha

Those poor house elves! I bet they were awfully scandalized! (Am I evil if their distress in this case makes me giggle?)

This story also made me realize exactly how many mischievous boys there are in the Potterverse. At first I thought this was going to be about James and Sirius. It could have been any number of characters from next gen, or even Dean and Seamus. And then when you mentioned twins, I, like Minerva, thought it would be about Fred and George. You definitely tricked me! I was so surprised to learn it was Dumbledore and Dobby! But I totally believe it! And I love that you made Dumbledore fascinated by Muggle libraries. For one thing, YES, THEY ARE AMAZING. And for another, it reminds me of the pleasantly playful side of Dumbledore that I personally have a tendency to forget about. Which is really a shame, so thanks for remedying it!

Minerva, oh Minerva. You wrote her so well. Her exasperation is spot on, and I really can't blame her for going speechless considering!

THE LAST TWO LINES THOUGH. THEY ARE PERFECT. "counting backwards slowly from ten in Latin" --> this is the most minerva mcgonagall thing that has ever happened. She definitely earned that day off!

Thanks for a very fun read!
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! It has absolutely thrilled me to get these unexpected reviews!

And I'm so glad you thought the story was funny and silly. That was the whole point. Ah, you caught the teddy bear clips. Was hoping someone would see that. :) Figures a first grade teacher would.

Scandalized! And excellent word for it! And no, giggle all you want.

There really are so many pairs or groups of trouble-makers aren't there. It really could have been any number of them, up to and including the Golden Trio themselves.

I love getting to indulge in writing Dumbledore's lighter, little boyish side. It's so much fun. And I just figured, given his fascination with Muggle sweets, he'd like other things as well.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked my Minerva! She was fun to write. And the counting backwards - that was just another thing I couldn't resist.

Thanks for the amazing review!

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Review #14, by MuggleMaybeThe New Addition: The New Addition

14th April 2017:
I'm here to free Katie for CTF.

What an adorable story! I think these are OCs, correct? It's fun to get a glimpse into the "ordinary lives" of witches and wizards. I mean, Harry's life is full of excitement and drama and angst, but most families are the same as muggle families. And that includes the excitement of getting a family pet for the first time. What a sweet idea!

I had to google crups and apparently they look like jack russell terriers? Awww! I can see why Sophie loves Nibble already! Interesting about the forked tail, too.

The name Nibble is so funny. I can see why Sophie's parents are uneasy about constantly saying "nibble" to an animal that is also infamous for eating anything and everything. =P Though, not people, fortunately. (Or, maybe they do attack or eat muggles? I don't know.)

The point of view in this story is interesting. I mean, I guess it's fairly traditional in a way. But it seems to be omniscient, and I don't see that done well very often. A lot of times I get confused when the writer tries to go inside of multiple characters' perspectives, but in this story you made it work and it all flows very smoothly. You captured Sophie's youthfulness very nicely. I especially appreciated how torturous she found the wait for Daddy. That is so true to life!

The dialogue was very fun and believable, as well.

Nice job on this!

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Review #15, by MuggleMaybeDrown: goodnight, i love you

13th April 2017:

Oh, I'm here for CTP, for the Puffs.

but anyways.

This is a *wonderful* fic, oh my goodness! I've read Breathe, although it was quite some time ago now and I confess that I don't remember it super clearly. I want to reread it now so I can know if I missed anything here.

In your author's note you mentioned that you'd never used 2nd person before. Well, I never would have known that. You managed it brilliantly! It really makes sense to me to use second person for this story, too, because you're deeply inside Regulus's head. And, also, because Reg is shown here committing an act of cruelty (once removed) upon a very beloved character, and putting it in second person makes it easier to relate to him, and to forgive him.

And, I do forgive him. It's hard to *like* him, mostly because of the barely concealed homophobia. But I can't deny that his intentions are, if not exactly good, not bad. He's the best sort of character in your writing: a deeply human (and therefore deeply flawed) one. His love for his parents is at odds with his love for Sirius. Which is, really, a terrible and unfair situation for a 15 year old to be in.

It's heartbreaking to think that he ultimately chooses to sacrifice himself rather than walk that line. But it's also so powerful, because in his final act he shows that he's learned Sirius was in the right, and that his parents were wrong. It's a wonderful character arc for someone we hardly know. What an act of redemption! And I LOVE how you wrote Regulus and how you wrote his memories.

Having this at the moment of his death, as he's drowning, was a stroke of genius.

Seriously Kayla. You are So. Good. Please never stop writing. I ADORED this, sad though it was.

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hi Renee!

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked this!

I was nervous to use 2nd person for the first time, but like you said, it just worked so well for what was going on in the story that I couldn't pass it up.

Haha yeah. I think Regulus here is pretty much a grey character. But my intentions with this weren't really to get people to like Regulus, or even necessarily forgive him (although, I'm very glad you do!) - it was just to get people to understand why he did what he did in Chapter 5 of Breathe, and that he was a product of his upbringing, because a lot of the reviews I got on that chapter were like "Regulus why?!?! You jerk!" so I thought I'd address it haha.

I really think Regulus is SUCH an interesting character. I would love to write more about him sometime.

Yeah, that potion that was guarding the Horcrux made you remember the worst things that had happened in your life, so I figured it would make a lot of sense that when he drank the potion he would remember the thing he did that basically ended his relationship with his brother in one fell swoop, and also led to his brother being tortured and kicked out. Hence, the setting.

You are too sweet! I'm so happy you enjoyed this!


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Review #16, by MuggleMaybeGravel on the Ground: As the Days Go By: Rock-a-Bye Baby

12th April 2017:
Hello! I'm here for CTF for the Puffs.

To be quite honest, I haven't read Gravel on the Ground, so I'm probably missing a lot of nuance in this story. But OH MY GOODNESS, this was so sweet!

Stories about children are my absolute favorite, so I was excited to see that you started it off with Jenny at a young age. I think the majority of stories about first years at Hogwarts make them seem quite a bit older than eleven. She truly reads as a child to me, which is wonderful to see.

Of course in canon we assume James was an only child, because Petunia was Harry's only surviving relative. But I see no reason (at least in the books) why he couldn't have had a sibling who died before he did. It's something I never considered before. Of course the sibling would *have* to be older, because James really behaves quite like the younger child =P

James' mom and dad were really funny and likable. I definitely believe they could be the father of a boy with such a strong sense of humor, but also a girl with such a warm heart.

I can see Jenny is so loving toward James. When she worries that James will forget her. UGH. SO CUTE. And really heartfelt, too. This definitely makes me want to read your main work about these characters, especially since I've heard nothing but good things about your writing.

Thanks for a great read! I'm quite busy IRL at the moment, but I'd really love to read more of your work when things calm down. Hopefully I'll "see" you again soon!

Author's Response: Welcome! Thanks for stopping by!

I've had an unusual amount of people diving into this story first lately, which is a little different. But I'm so glad you still managed to enjoy it.

I have a lot of fun writing about kids, though I'm not always sure I do them justice. My characters will start off as children in this, but as everyone does, they will grow up over the course of this background novel. It's meant to set up the scenes for my main novels in this series.

Thank you! That's what I was hoping! That while this is technically AU, it's not too much of a stretch to think this could have happened. And I hold with things that were in the books as canon. Anything reveled since then is just optional.

Oh, thank you! You are the first person ever to comment on the Potter parents, and I'm grinning from your praise! THANKS!

Thank you so much! This was a lovely review and I was so happy to receive it!

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Review #17, by MuggleMaybeMy Happy Ending: You Are Spring

11th April 2017:
LIZZIE! Hello! I'm here for CTF =)

Why would you write such a heartbreaking story? I really should read summaries more carefully because I had no idea what I was in for!

This is beautiful writing. The descriptions of Dominque are stunning. They don't offer much tangible detail, but I think in this story that works, because we aren't really reading about Dominique. We're reading about Mark and his emotions toward her, and his perceptions of her. And maybe he doesn't perceive the details. It seems to be that Mark's perception revolves more around the intangible, around impressions and blurred memory. While I think this approach has pros and cons, I like that it allows the reader (or at least it allowed me) to really climb into his mindset. Many people have these sorts of impressionistic memories about people they've loved. It's very resonant.

I also thought Mark seemed a little naive. Maybe that's cynical of me in my "old age" (older than 17, at any rate!), but his impression of Dominique seems to be all lightness. But no one is really all lightness. I mean, she kind of strung him along for years, and his memory conveniently erases that from his thoughts about her. It's like he can't bear to hold her accountable, and it makes me sort of glad they don't end up together, despite this story breaking my heart. No one should be so idealized by their partner, in my opinion. These aren't critiques though. FAR from it! Just my thoughts about Mark as a character. I find his youthful sentimentality about her very believable and powerful. But also naive.

When she came over to talk to him, I was surprised. I thought for a minute that you were going to be kind and give me a happy ending, but you didn't. And I'm glad you didn't. I like this story sad. I was very proud and happy that he told her the truth, though. It would be far worse to carry around those emotions unspoken forever!

I ADORE stories that come full circle, so I really loved that you repeated the metaphor about Dominque being like springtime, and I thought the way you repurposed it as a comparison for Mark - cold, dreary, winter - was both beautiful and clever.

What a treat to read some of your writing. I've missed seeing you around and hope you're doing well!

xoxo Renee

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Review #18, by MuggleMaybeSomeone to talk to: July 17, 2005

8th April 2017:
I'm here to free Sam for CTF round 5 and HOW DID I NOT KNOW YOU HAD A GINNY/HANNAH STORY??!??

What I mean to say is, hello, nice to see you. :P

I think writing dialogue is a lot of fun - as is reading it - but it can be hard to create a sense of context using dialogue, and that's what really makes this sort of challenge difficult. While I might like this better is I could read more detail from you, you've truly done a remarkable job of creating a scene without any narration. I read the first chapter also, and in that one I got enough of a sense of place that I knew where I was in this one. And then the way Ginny and Hannah talk about the other characters give a clear (and heartbreak, my gosh!) picture of what life is like for the cast at the moment.

What's most impressive to me is how well you build the characters of Ginny and Hannah through their words. By the way, I adore how you've written Hannah. I think you've captured Hufflepuff really well and I can't pretend not to love that! She's caring and compassionate, but not soft. Not too gooey sweet. I love that she has humor and the joke she makes about Ginny cleaning the tough spots to get her feelings out was great.

Ginny is human here - she's sometimes written as so steely and flawless that her humanity is notable. Not to say she seems weak, but her reactions to the stress she's under are very realistic. Not the "she rarely cries" Wonder Woman-esque thing I sometimes see. You know? She's clearly falling apart, and she sees the change in herself and finds it strange and uncomfortable but she can't help it. At least, that's how I see it.

When Hannah thought of her secret I JUST KNEW what is was and I am very pleased! Except, Ginny, you're married! I'm all for Ginny/Hannah but I don't want her to cheat on Harry either. Conflicting feelings over here! The reveal is so cute though and my feelings are mostly happy in this moment despite the horrific sadness of this fic?

I don't even know.

Well done, in any case, this is very impressive!

xoxo Renee

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Review #19, by MuggleMaybeWar and Peace: Peace in War

5th April 2017:
Hello Plums! I'm hear with a CTF review for Team Puff

I think this might be my favorite story I've read during CTF so far. I really ought to read more of your work, generally speaking.

At the beginning of this fic, I was making little "aww" sounds of sadness. My partner kept asking me what was wrong = P
And then toward the end of the fic, I was making little "aww" sounds of happiness and my partner said, "It got happy!" So, way to go with conveying a range of emotions.

I always like it when there's smoking in Marauders fics. Not that I think smoking is good, but it was certainly VERY common in those days, and it always lends of sense of reality for me.

The dialogue between James and Sirius is spot on. Actually, all the dialogue and characterization is spot on. Sirius' loving indignation about having married with child friends. Peter's uncanny ability to fade into the background. Lily's humor and warmth. And Remus. well, I love Remus. So I'm biased. But when Harry calls him "Moo" it was maybe the best thing I've ever read ever. ♥

and the AMZING ROMANTIC TENSION between Remus and Sirius is so wonderful. It's the elephant in the room and I love that the others don't even try to hide that they know. I also very much like that Remus seems so comfortable with baby Harry. ("The Snitch" - so cute!)

I loved this!
xoxo Renee

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Review #20, by MuggleMaybeThe First Quidditch Match: The First Quidditch Game

5th April 2017:
Hi Paula, lovely! I am here bailing Shaza out for CTF, and of course also because you're amazing.

This story is ADORABLE. Which is hardly surprising because Paula fluff is basically guaranteed to be adorable. But still. The adorableness is extra noteworthy this time.

I have to admit, you stretched my suspension of disbelief with the idea that Albus got to be this old before going to a Quidditch match with the family. Like, SO MANY people in his life dripped the quaffle on that! (geddit, geddit?) However, it works, because the characters share my disbelief. So well done there.

I LOVE that you say he isn't too big for cuddles. (I mean, honestly, no one is too big for cuddles!) But there is definitely an age when kids think snuggling is "for babies" and it's nice to have him young enough here that he still has that sweet affection.

Harry definitely likes to spoil his boy. Which is, in my opinion, a FAR more believable scenario than the one painted in cc. Hearty agreement with you on that note.

I find it interesting that you make Harry a Puddlemere fan, because I often see him written as a Cannons fan as a sort of tribute to Ron? Like, in Next Gen the Cannons are the best team and all the Weasleys and Potters cheer them on, etc, etc. I think it's nice to have Harry maintain an independent streak in which team he favors. And to keep the Cannons lowly and Ron faithful - he may be part of the Golden Trio but he still remembers his roots, you know? But that's getting of topic, whoops.

More importantly, poor Harry - his kid picks the wrong team! hahaha! But I love that he accepts it and loves watching Albus enjoy his experience, regardless of whether they see the teams in the same light.

As always, a lovely read!
xoxo Renee

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Review #21, by MuggleMaybeThe Key To My Heart: The Key Doesn't Work

4th April 2017:
Hello dear! I'm here reviewing for Hufflepuff CTF Game 3 =)

Your AP has many exciting choices, but I HAD to pick this one because femslash! Thank you for writing femslash. ♥

The language and description you use in this fic really stands out, so that is the first thing I want to talk about. The first sentences is especially strong because of all those verbs that pack a descriptive punch. I really think verbs are the key to description. You seem to always use color in exactly the right place. "Daphne would not press her soft pink lips into Pansyís hair." Ugh. BEAUTIFUL.

It's quite a heartbreaking story. You capture that sense of longing that's tinged with guilt of knowing who shouldn't want what you want. And, in this case, the reason she shouldn't want it is that while Pansy still loves her, she knows Daphne doesn't want her anymore, and she wants Daphne to have what she wants. And so it's her love against her love, so to speak. What a wretched situation to be in. To me, this isn't a love story. It's more about obsession and desperation. Like the part about Pansy's love being enough for both of them. No, honey, no. Poor Pansy.

And, poor Daphne too. My interpretation is that Pansy told Theodore that Daphne is queer. Is that right? Well, if so, I do understand why Daphne is so cold and unforgiving, even if I wish she wouldn't be.

The quote you borrowed works so well in this, what a great line! And, I really like the key and lock metaphor. Sometimes the things that used to open use up don't anymore. It's a sad truth, and you captured it nicely (if sadly)

Thank you for writing such a thought provoking story!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Oh hello, here I am responding to your delightful review (one month late, as usual). Yes, this is one of the little amount of femslash fics I have, and I swear I will write more.

Awww thank you Renee!

It is a bad situation to be in, isn't it?

Yes that is right. Pansy trusted Theo because he's her best friend, and Daphne'd had a crush on him forever.

I'm really glad you liked the story, come back soon.

-Lily Xx x

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Review #22, by MuggleMaybeIcarus: 2032: A Parallel Universe Odyssey

13th January 2017:
Transferred from AO3:

WHY AM I ONLY JUST NOW READING THIS FIC? And also, hello dear! *hug*

I am a bum and get really intimidated when I aim to review every chapter, so I'm ashamed to say I've waited until I was all caught up to review. (Just to be clear though, I read this in one night. It's 4:30am but I could.not.stop.)

I should probably try to write an actual review, since I've cheated you out of reviews on chapters 1-11, but I don't think I can do a true, thoughtful, composed sort review because, ahem, I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH OMG AND I CAN'T BE SENSIBLE WHEN I'M SHOUTY AND FULL OF LOVE FOR YOUR WRITING. Ugh, Kristin! You are SO GOOD. Every time I read something by you I am utterly blown away.

Things I Love About This Fic:

- Lily Luna. People don't write her all that often, and it's a shame. I really love how you've written her. She's smart and interesting and compassionate, but also insecure and rash; she so wonderfully human and it's beautiful. You get inside her head super well with the narration, too. Maybe I"m projecting a little here - it's very possible - but i get a strong sense that Lily tries to act like everything is fine for her, but really she isn't very happy or comfortable with herself or her life. For example, in her observation that time in the alternate universe has made her more assertive about making friends, I could see in her a lack of confidence and growth toward better confidence and I love that. You really set this up super well, because her life at home is kind of crappy - unemployment stinks, she's single and feels lonely about it, and now she'll need a new flatmate. (I also need a new flatmate. I wonder if Lily would have me? ;)) And that gives her sci-fi adventure so much punch because even though she messed up, it's clear why she *needed* to do this (not to her, perhaps, but to me), and the adventure isn't only a great adventure - it's a chance for growth. I think genre fiction misses that sometimes and I'm happy you haven't. It makes this story really rewarding to read.



- For lack of a better word, it's simply really, really interesting. My personal head cannon is that the Big Conflict of the Next Gen era is the statute of secrecy, so I am biased in favor of this alternate universe idea. The way you lay out the recent history in the alt. universe is very clever. I think you're right on target in the implication that magic and technology can accomplish a lot more when paired together rather than isolated from each other. That said, I never would have imagined the idea for this fic, with space travel and other planets. It's so original and absolutely fascinating to read about. And the plot has me constantly on the edge of my seat. (I repeat: It is 4:30am. Could.Not.Stop.)

- Marta and Lance are both utterly captivating OCs. I adore Lance, and Marta is unpredictable. I think all stories need a good, solid, unpredictable someone in the mix. =) Generally, I enjoy all the OCs in this story, but those two are the big stand outs so far. (I suspect I will love some of the crew members, but I've only really had one chapter with them so I'm reserving judgement.)

- This is often quite funny. Unsurprisingly, since you are hilarious. (I love the puns. Never abandon the puns.)

- I like the pacing. I confess, at the beginning I was surprised we didn't get to the "sci-fi part" more quickly, and I felt a bit impatient. However, now that we're in the sci-fi part, I'm really glad you gave me some time to meet and understand Lily and her word and the people in her life, before things got crazy. Without that foundation, the rest of the story would not be nearly as engaging. I think you made a wise choice to focus on character first.

- i'm very very tired now and surely forgot important awesome things, so just in case: I like all the things about this story!

Things I Do Not Love About This Fic:

- lack of additional chapters

This story is very nearly as brilliant as you are, my dear, and that's saying a LOT.

Much love,

Author's Response: Okay, I have no idea how to respond to this in a coherent way so we're even. I couldn't respond at the time I read it or it would literally have just been keyboard smash and probably a bunch of hearts. Also, for the record, please don't feel badly about not reviewing every chapter. I think everyone is that way when faced with a longer fic, haha. And the fact that you read this right through to 4.30 in the morning and left this INCREDIBLE review more than makes up for any additional reviews. Really, I couldn't ask for anything else. This review is everything. ♥


- Lily Luna: yeah! It's actually kind of weird that she's not that commonly written about. I mean, objectively she should be just as interesting as Rose, but everyone writes about Rose. *shrugs* One of the great mysteries of our time. Anyway, I'm so glad you like my interpretation of Lily! And I really love your analysis of her character. In fact you pointed out things that I think I had been writing subconsciously but had never had it stated obviously to me like that, but you're totally right. I think Lily does act like things are fine when she's really not, after all she is used to having an unwanted spotlight on her and that must have shaped her character. I'm actually so glad you pointed that out because I don't think I ever directly stated anything of the sort so I'm really glad that the vibe I'm trying to get across without saying anything has actually translated to the page. And yes! Adventure stories and personal growth go hand in hand, and I'm thrilled you like that aspect of it! And the fact that you said it was rewarding to read - gah! Thank you!!

- I think I can count on one hand the number of well known science fiction stories/movies/books that have a female as the primary protagonist. (Basically just the new Star Wars, and Alien.) ... And that's kind of sad. There should be more. And so I've been intentionally filling this character cast with important, powerful women of all different backgrounds :P Though what's sort of ended up happening with this fic, now that I look back at it, is that almost every important character in this fic is female (or at least not male). Maybe it's a bit skewed, but I feel justified when you compare it to the casts of characters in a lot of classic sci fi which is often like 95% males, mostly white, and with no lgbt representation at all. Also, with LGBT representation in popular culture, it often seems the character gets kind of defined only by their sexuality, which doesn't make for very well rounded characters, so here I really wanted to just normalize that aspect of Lily. It's an important part of who she is, but it doesn't define her, because she's also clever and insecure and everything you listed there in your comment.

(So as you've probably figured out, this story is also kind of my platform for making Statements through my writing :P )

Yay! I'm SO glad that you find the story and the alternate world interesting. I know the premise is kind of out-there, and I always wonder what people think when they dive into it, haha. As a scientist myself, I was really intrigued by the idea of how science and magic would intersect in a world where they actually could do so. It's also really great to hear that you like the pacing and the plot- I feel like these are things I've struggled with in previous writing so this is such a wonderful thing to hear.

Ah! And I'm so glad you like the OC's! And even my wacky sense of humour.


P.S. If Lily was real, I'm sure she'd love to be your flatmate, as long as you don't leave out bowls of noodles for a month :P

*HUGS* *SQUISHES* Now go get some sleep :P

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Review #23, by MuggleMaybeIf Only in His Dreams: Winter's Solstice

22nd December 2016:
[cross posted review]

Hi Alexis!

I thought I would stop by and read one of your stories. Now, I confess, I am not usually a Snape fan. That being said, you definitely managed to make me feel for him with your writing.

It's pretty heartbreaking to think of Severus as a boy, in love, dancing with Lily as a gift to her - which is such a sweet and earnest thing to do and ugh. I can't stand it. It's so sad.

You clearly take great care in choosing your words, and this reads beautifully. I think it's musical, in a way. I also really like the details you've included, like saving the thorns for potion-making, and the decriptions of the different plants. Also, the way you set the timeline using that brief remark about Draco was super clever!

To be honest, I have decided on quantity over quality in terms of my reviews for the moment, so I will leave it at that =P

Thank you for writing this softer side of Snape. I enjoyed it.

xoxo Renee

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Review #24, by MuggleMaybeStorm: Broken Dreams

3rd December 2016:
JILL! Hello dear! ♥

First of all, I apologize that this is a bit late. Eep.

Second of all, if I'd known this was going to be so sad I wouldn't--

No, I'm just kidding. (DEFINITELY kidding!) It is very sad of course, but sad can be good. In this case, sad is moving and compassionate and desperate and so very Harry-like.

I've only read a little of your Ginny/Seamus writing although it's a ship I find interesting. It's cool that you decided to look at it through Harry's eyes here.

I think what breaks my heart the most in this story is Harry's need to escape from the Burrow, which has always been this safe-haven for him. With the war over, he deserves to feel safe and at peace, but he doesn't and I find it very believable but also devastating.

And he visits James' and Lily's graves. Oh my poor heart. The things he said... I really hope the rest of this story has him arriving at a happier place because *sobs*

One thing I really like is the parallel between Harry's determination to try again with Ginny, and what we know was James' determination to win over Lily. It's like the Potter men just have to go for the one who got away, and I love that echo.

You pack SO much emotion into this short one-shot chapter, and I found Harry very in character, even though I wish he didn't have to feel this way. Brilliant job, as usual.

My semester will be over soon, and I definitely hope to catch up on a lot of fic during my break. Starting with this story (and a box of tissues, because jeez)!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Eep, Renee! HAI! ♥

I'm so glad you thought it was Harry-like. As you probably know, he's not a character I write often because I find him to be very difficult so I'm glad you thought he was in character here.

Yeah, I figured the Weasleys would be very smothering, and especially after the Senny stuff, I could see him using a break so I'm glad that you could, too, even without reading everything else. ♥

You know, I didn't even notice that parallel, but you're totally right! Those Potter boys and their determination :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! And also, I miss you and hope to see you around more. Good luck with the end of your semester!!


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Review #25, by MuggleMaybeWaltz: Waltz

27th August 2016:
♥♥ TANYA ♥♥

I am THE WORST. Why am I THE WORST? Well, for one thing, I am so horrendously late with your gift tag gift, it's absolutely shameful. And, for another thing, I favorited this story about a year ago and never left a review! TSK.

So, anyway, I hope you can forgive my transgressions long enough to read this review, because I really really REALLY love this story!

Your words are just... GAH! It's a work of ART, Tanya! ♥

The repetition works so brilliantly to convey Rose's experience, and I felt you captured OCD really REALLY well. A close family member of mine has it, and that tension between the guilt of inconveniencing others and *needing* to comply with the compulsion is so real and familiar to me. I've seen that. Also, the inability to explain why something that seems meaningless is so important. I wanted to hug Rose so bad during the opening scene.

It's such a different take on Scorose than I've EVER seen elsewhere, and it's really moving and sweet how they normalize things for each other.

And then. AND THEN. The mistletoe. Bless Scorpius, he comes through for her doesn't he? There is so much care and affection between them, but also all this tension because they are, individually, carrying so much tension.

Then the end, the last line. So beautiful. I can't say enough good things about this story, honestly. It takes my breath away. ♥

10/10 without question.

Much love!

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