Reading Reviews From Member: MuggleMaybe
  
141 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MuggleMaybeCould Be Always?: Practice makes Perfect?

4th February 2016:
JENN!

Wait a second! You broke your wrist? HOW did I not know that? I am so sorry! That stinks! I hope it is much better now, though.

But on to the review!

Rose and Scorpius are so cute with their little crush on each other. I don't think they realize what it is yet, or at least Rose doesn't, but it is still so sweet! You depict that feeling of blushing and butterflies so well with the little details you mention, like him watching her change. (That sounds so much creepier than it is, OMG, but you know what I mean!)

Luci and Benji are great - I hope you continue to flesh them out more. And what is going on with Benji? Is he okay? Please say he is okay!!

You are setting the stage really well to develop a great relationship between Rose and Scorpius. Yippee! I am really anxious to learn more about Albus though, and what's going on with him. Why has he changed so much? Is this really how he is, or is it an act? You are certainly keeping me hooked!

love & hugs!
Renee

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Review #2, by MuggleMaybeHourglass: 3 years 40 days

3rd February 2016:
Hi Gina!

I know I am so horrifically slow, but I'm here with your 2nd prize review!

I'm sort of struck on reading this by how distinctive a voice your writing has. There's something really unique about it that I love, although I am not very helpful because I can't quite put my finger on what it is. But I really love it!

Also: I WANT TO KNOW WHO DLZ IS! I know, I know, I have to keep reading and that is a Big Question that you can't reveal in chapter 2. But I am dying to know! I would be just like Al about it too, obsessing and distracted by it all the time.

Perhaps your originality is in the details? You've got some really killer ones, without overdoing it. I'm partial to the twirling blade of grass. (Well, I'm partial to Scorpius in general.) ;)

I'm intrigued by the boys' conversation about careers. Does Al actually want to be an Auror? He didn't seem super excited by the idea, but he did seem dedicated to it.

You successfully faked me out with Tracy Hopkins. I was so sure we'd meet DLZ and then NOPE! :P Well done!

Really, your version of ALbus is so unique. I can't wait to read more!

xoxo Renee

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Review #3, by MuggleMaybeDrive: Drive

1st February 2016:
Oh, wow. This reminds me a lot of a scene in an old movie. There's something so glamorous and carefree about their travels and their love. I love the image of Oliver driving, seeming almost serious, and Lavender leaning over the seat to kiss him. It's so intimate - it feels almost like they're the only people in the world when I read this. Everything else just vanishes. How did you do that?!?

Your writing is beautiful. The way you describe the setting is transporting. I could almost imagine the beach and the warmth, the breeze... this story gives me wanderlust!

I thought they were pretty much in character, especially Lavender. I liked that you had their wounds bring them together, it really makes sense.

The metaphor with the scarf was a little heavy handed, but I thought it worked despite that. Or maybe because of that. It felt like maybe Lavender made the choice to leave it behind on purpose, like she's choosing to escape from her past. Really lovely.

Honestly, Vicki, this is Just. Beautiful. You definitely made a great case for Oliver/Lavender to be cannon!

Best of luck in the challenge!

xoxo Renee

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Review #4, by MuggleMaybeChoices.: Choices are the hardest things to make.

30th January 2016:
Hello Caity!
I can't believe I haven't reviewed this yet! How terrible of me - I hope this review will make it up to you!

Poor Draco! This is certainly a difficult choice, I can see why he's upset. To pick between your mother and your girlfriend when you're still so young... the war was cruel to him.

If I'm being honest, I almost never read Dramione, so I really appreciate that you addressed his prejudice. He doesn't use the word mudblood anymore, he doesn't believe in the Death Eater cause.

The metal burning in his pocket - I'm curious about that. What does it refer to? Is it fifth year now? Did she give him a DA coin? If so, that is very intriguing! I'd love to read an AU about Draco as a DA member, I think :P

Oooh, that is so sweet that he calls her his little bookworm because he values her intelligence, and he's intelligent also and that is one of the better arguments I've seen in favor of this pairing. I'm so glad you've pointed that out!

Your Draco is so brave. I love him! Thank you for writing this fab story and so kindly allowing me to share the dedication. It gave me wonderful feels when I saw you did that!

lots of love to you, sweetie!
xoxo Renee

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Review #5, by MuggleMaybeLike Sunflowers: Like Sunflowers

29th January 2016:
*squeals with delight*

Oh for cute! As soon as I saw you mention this story on the forums, I knew I had to read it right away because I love Hannah/Neville stories and also your writing. And sure enough, it's wonderful!

I love, love, love the comparison with sunflowers turning to the sun. You know I'm a sucker for sweetness and aw, it's PERFECT!

The way you wrote Hannah's life - her dad, her mum, her Muggle BFF, making ice cream for dinner - it's really nice and gave me such a clear idea of who she is, even in a fairly short piece. I feel like you really know her, even if you haven't written her before. And your Neville is quite well done, too.

As far as CC goes, the only thing I have is that I'd love to see more. The moment they became a couple, the first kiss, Hannah meeting his parents... there's just so much I'd love to experience about this pair! Maybe you could consider writing more about them? Perhaps? *shameless puppy eyes* Well, either way, I'm so glad you shared this lovely story with the world.

As always, you're fabulous! *hug*
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hi Renee! You're such a dear for reading and reviewing this! You always jump right on my new stories, and I really appreciate it!
I thought of that metaphor as I was coming up with ideas for a Neville/Hannah story, and I thought it just seemed to fit the two of them, so I'm glad you liked it!
I've thought about Hannah's character a lot, even though I have only written her a couple times in really short pieces. I'd like to write her some more at some point, though!
I've definitely been thinking about other Neville/Hannah stories I could write! I love the two of them, and this definitely isn't my last time writing them. I didn't want to stuff too much into this story, but there are lots of things about them and their relationship (like what you suggested) that I'd like to write about at some point.
Thank you for the wonderful review! I really appreciate it!
Cassie :)


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Review #6, by MuggleMaybeCould Be Always?: Tryouts

28th January 2016:
Ooooh, this was a good chapter!!

Stupid Albus and Scorpius getting in a fight. I suspect there might be something to it that they didn't let on because Al was awfully evasive about why they fought. Hm... ;)

And Quidditch! Wow! Yay Rosie!!! I have to admit, I am a bit surprised that three different first years made it on the teams. Then again, the Potters and the Weasleys do have a proclivity for Quidditch talent. Rose and Scorpius playing beater together is brilliant. I can already imagine how much drama you'll be able to get out of that.

Rose certainly does take after her dad with grudges. There were times I wanted to rage at Ron for that, especially in GoF. Rose was awfully mean to Al. I hope they make up soon.

Rose's schoolgirl crush on Malfoy is just SO. CUTE.

Another fab chapter, obviously. You're just the best, Jenn!

hugs, Renee

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Review #7, by MuggleMaybeCould Be Always?: First Day Fiasco?

28th January 2016:
What?! What happened?! It took a lot of will power to leave this review instead of going straight to the next chapter! At least Benji's got her back.

Luci seems so sweet and maybe a touch more mature than Rose, which I think makes her perfect BFF material for our heroine. I hope Rose lets her in.

Her letter home made me smile, especially the lie about wanting to study. I think Hermione probably knows her daughter better than to believe it, though. One would hope.

Sorry for a short review, but I have to find out what happens! ;)

xoxo Renee

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Review #8, by MuggleMaybeCould Be Always?: Getting Sorted

28th January 2016:
I'm back at last!

Oh, yay, I'm so glad you've put Rose and Scorpius in Ravenclaw together! I already love your Scorpius. You've given us just the right details to show what a good person he is, and when he told those boys off for teasing Benji that sealed the deal.

I think, similar to Hogwarts Express scenes, Feast scenes are hard because we've read so many of them already and how do you make it unique? But you did a really nice job of keeping it engaging. I am so excited to see how the first day of classes, and Quidditch, and everything ends up.

I'm intrigued by you're OCs. Benji is, like his inspiration, an absolute rock star already. I love him and I can't wait to see how he conquers the world, so to speak. I was also pleased that you've included Dennis Creevey's daughter because I don't know if I've ever seen that before.

Poor Rose, worrying over what her parents will think. Why does Ron have to be such a joker and make her worry like that? (I know, I know, because he's Ron. :P But still.)

I really enjoyed this - hopefully I'll make it to chapter 3 soon!
xoxo Renee

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Review #9, by MuggleMaybeCould Be Always?: Crazy Train

17th January 2016:
Hello Jenn! I thought maybe a review would help put a smile on your face. :hug: Besides, I've been meaning to read this ever since you first posted it!

IT'S SCOROSE AND I AM SO HAPPY. I love them so much and I just know this is going to be fantastic! (It WILL be always, it will, it will!)

I think Platform 9 3/4 scenes can be hard to write, and this particular one especially since we already see it in canon. You did a great job keeping it interesting and making it your own. Plus, you made me laugh thinking about the epilogue and how much I wish it would just go away. :P I mean, Rose is right - the parental conversation is super weird!

But then she gets distracted by Scorpius and it is already so cute and I love it!!!

Using Victoire to balance James and having her enact a little revenge was so clever and cute. Plus, what a nice girl to hang out with her baby cousins on the train! Aww!

I'm interested that no one has been a Ravenclaw or a Slytherin yet. I am looking forward to learning more about your next gen universe for this story!

James: what a prat. (Or he might be a relatively normal kid. ;) Kids will be kids, as you well know!)

First year stories are so fun to read because you get to experience it for the first time right along with the MC. I am so excited to see where everyone is sorted, who else they become friends with, how the Rose/Al/Scorp dynamic begins, and just everything! And, it will be interesting to see how quickly the story moves forward in time.

Can't wait to read more!
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hi Renee!

I must say, I was so excited when I saw that you read the first chapter and left a review! I have been looking so forward to seeing what you think about this story!! It is my biggest project to date and spans over quite a few stories. Some of which I have already wrote and more that I haven't yet.

I am glad that you liked the way that I used canon info, but also made it my own. I tried really hard to let some of Rose's personality peek through here and tried to keep in mind how I felt at eleven when my parents discussed me with other people.

Cue Scorpius... Ah... :)

I think Victoire has that maternal instinct, being the oldest, to watch over her younger cousins as much as she can while she can. James needed to be put in his place! He is such a goofball!

I think James will surprise you.

I look forward to seeing what else you think as you continue to read this and how you feel about the characters that are common and the one's I have created. :)

Thank you so much again for reading and reviewing this!!! :)

-Jenn


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Review #10, by MuggleMaybeRegrets: Inevitable

10th January 2016:
Hi! I'm here! I'm sorry I'm late but I did not forget about this! (I hope it's okay I'm replying here instead of on the forums - I thought this deserved to have a review!)

So, first of all, I am so impressed by your choice of character! I never even thought about what it would be like for him after the war, but you really hit the nail on the head. It makes so much sense that he would struggle with guilt, PTSD, and loss of identity. Plus, he was this important person before he was imperiused, and now that he's free from the curse he has lost all of that stature and his reputation is destroyed.

The part about the shower is such an original detail to include. I also thought the death-like smell of Voldemort, and that the scent stuck with him, was chilling in the best way. I almost wanted him to be more dazed and unstable. (Not that this can really be called stable.)

I hope you won't mind if I make one suggestion for if you ever decided to edit this, which is to move the first sentence to just before "The moment that Voldemort died" - definitely a matter of opinion, though!

The last line is just fantastic. Outside of his control he became a villain, someone people root against. It's really so sad to imagine what that would be like.

My overall impression from this story is cold. He seems cold and empty, almost like he's already dead, so that (as you suggest) the end feels inevitable.

Well done, as always! Thanks for pointing me in this direction!

xoxo Renee

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Review #11, by MuggleMaybeFriends are Friends for Life: Friends Forever

8th January 2016:
JENN YOU ARE TOO NICE TO ME! AND THIS STORY IS SOOO SWEET AND WONDERFUL AND (OF COURSE) BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN! *happy tears*

10 things I love about this:

1. Rose and Hugo really love each other and get along, and you can tell they're genuinely happy for each other.

2. Luci and Hugo are SO CUTE OMG

3. The depiction of the parents dancing and feeding each other cake, with the sad touch about Luci's dad, is really nice. I think wedding fics forget about the parents sometimes.

4. Scorpius. I love me some Scorpius.

5. Scorpius. This is not a typo.

6. The sweet, sexy, loving but fun banter between Rose and Scorpius. They are perfect.

7. The humor. I mean, the thing about the garter is hilarious. And Rose forgetting the ring! Bahahaha! (Why are you looking at me? I wouldn't do that? Why do you think I would do that? ;) )

8. The description of the woods is beautiful. What an amazing place to get engaged!

9. Scorpius :P

10. The ending part about friendship is lovely. I really appreciate that sentiment because being a good friend is very important to me. I'll always have your virtual back. And I am SO LUCKY and happy to count you among my friends!

***ALL THE HUGS AND BUNCHES OF LOVE!***

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hi Renee!!

I am glad that you enjoyed this!!! I LOVE your list of reasons why you enjoyed it!! I could completely feel the excitement through the computer screen!!! Hahahahaha! :)

Thank you so much for being a totally awesome friend!!

-Jenn


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Review #12, by MuggleMaybeHourglass: 3 years 47 days

5th January 2016:
Hello Gina! Congratulations of winning FIRST PLACE in the (Super) Microfiction Challenge! I'm here with the first of your prize reviews. :)

After reading the version of Albus you wrote in Them, I was a little nervous when I saw this story is also about him. As in, I was afraid he was going to hurt someone. But this seems to be a different Albus, so I am safe! ;)

Anyway...
This works really well as a first chapter. At the end, I didn't want to stop and leave a review because I just wanted to go on to chapter two! You've painted an interesting picture of Albus. To me, he comes across as self-conscious, intelligent, pensive, and something of an outsider. I don't know if that's what you had in mind, but for me that's how he came across, and I thought it was very effective. I can't wait to find out who DLZ is!!

I'm not sure if you've edited this chapter yet. If you haven't, there were two thing I might suggest considering for revision -

at the start of the chapter, when he accounts for his fingers and toes, I actually thought he was a baby or a toddler until I got to the part about the parchment. Maybe that's just me being silly.

I also thought this was a Scorpius/Albus ship for a while. I think explaining why Al is meeting him for breakfast, and why/if that's unusual would help to clarify their relationship (assuming you want to - it could be vague on purpose, of course).

I loved the bit about Al's secret classroom. Hogwarts is full of secrets, and it's amazing how few fics take advantage of that to create new amazing parts of the castle. I'm glad you've done that!

looking forward to chapter 2
xoxo Renee

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Review #13, by MuggleMaybeLovely: Lovely

10th December 2015:
Hi Gabbie! At long last I am reviewing your story. I'm sorry I was so lame and took AGES to get here. I hope you can forgive me!

I have to admit, this was different than I expected. The way you've written Pansy is not the way I usually see her portrayed. You've managed to make her strong and likable without seeming totally out of character. I actually would love to see more of her from you!

I know this is for the Plus Size Challenge, and I am really interested in the way you've portrayed body image. Pansy has emotional scars around her size but has learned to recognize herself as attractive. Still, she has insecurities, like many people do. Rosier is able to bring those insecurities to the surface with his jerkface-ness. Meanwhile, Draco takes one look at her and clearly finds her attractive. But what's REALLY interesting to me is the contrast between Pansy's relapse into insecurity and Draco's inability to take pride in his appearance at all. I think that's an under explored side of this issue. Obviously, freaking out about other people's judgements about looks and being obsessive about one's appearance isn't healthy. But Draco's total lack of care for his appearance isn't healthy either. I know I'm rambling, but I am really struck by how much complexity you've managed to create in this story. It's brilliant!

Baby Benjamin and Pansy's relationship with him is very sweet, although I admit I am confused and curious about the backstory there. Maybe that's explored in a different fic of yours that I haven't discovered yet?

The relationship between Draco and Pansy is really interesting. He's not very nice to her, and then he has this rather sudden change of attitude. I thought maybe this was because he sees her hurt, and that pulls him out of his own struggles for a while. I'm not sure.

What I really, really loved was how Pansy saw that he was a different person than the boy she had a crush on as a kid, but she could still imagine loving him as the post-war Draco. I think they saw their own hurt in each other and that drew them together. I'm not sure if it's the makings of a successful relationship, but it certainly is the makings of a GREAT fic!

Overall, I really enjoyed this and I think this is a powerful story about, as you suggest, what it means to be brave, and kind, and beautiful. Because Draco is certainly right to say that Pansy is all of those things.

Lovely indeed! *nods*

Thanks for the swap and best of luck in the challenge!
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a ton for stopping by with this great review and totally no worries about being late, you were sick and totally needed your rest! I hope you're feeling better!

I honestly have never written Pansy at all until my one-shot "Ruins". I'm not sure how she evolved from just this spiteful girl in my mind into such a complex woman but she just turned into one of my favorite people to write. I will most likely make a few more one-shots with her, I actually have two more in mind that follow up from this and "Ruins" so be on the look out for those!

I entered this challenge with the hope that I could help someone who was dealing with body image get a more positive outlook. I've dealt with similar things in my life and my weight has always been kind of hard to get control of so I really tried my best to make it realistic.

Pansy I think has never been allowed to love herself so she doesn't find the thought of gaining weight to be such a negative thing. Of course, she has her insecurities and doubts but I wanted to show that she loved herself to keep moving forward and hope for the best.

The contrast between Draco and Pansy's appearances wasn't actually done on purpose! I just sort of had this image of Draco in my mind of being unkempt and sort of hating himself to the point where he didn't care what he looked like, which was such a huge difference from how he was in school. In fact, he makes fun of himself just a little about it in another one-shot called "Grey" that's pretty darn depressing to be honest.

There are so many different layers to body image that I don't think people write about a lot but I'm glad that you enjoyed that! Totally not on purpose but it worked out so well, once I looked it over.

Baby Benjamin (He shows up as a teen in my story Abandon too, my stories are all interlinked) and Pansy have a great relationship and I love writing them together.

I explain a bit more about Benjamin in both "Grey" and "Ruins". I don't precisely answer where he comes from but you get more information about him and his adorableness.

I honestly think that Draco is one of those people who lashes out at the people he cares about the most while he's trying to heal. Pansy doesn't take any mess from him though and he likes trying to get under her skin. I tried to make it seem like he saw how upset she was and knew something was off, which was why he was acting a little nicer but I probably should have done more with that. Hm.

Pansy needed to see that Draco was a different person in order to really understand who he was now. Neither of them were the same but they have this interesting connection that could happen because of it. I can't say that their relationship is a success, based off of what I've revealed in other stories but you can see how much they can grow together.

I hope that anyone reading this story takes something with them. Everyone deserves to be told that they're kind, beautiful and lovely no matter what. ;__;

Thank you a ton for this review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #14, by MuggleMaybeFracture: Shattered

5th December 2015:
How can that be the end?! I thought maybe by the last moment we'd see Vic healing, and I suppose she is moving in that direction, but I'm left with this desperation to know whether or not things can ever be okay for her again. Which is brilliant, because that's probably just what she's wondering, too.

This story is so beautifully, horribly, honest. You don't skirt the truth about this experience at all - I hate to think how you know these emotions so well :hug:

I think this topic works well for microstories because we don't know how Vic gets from one moment to the next, and neither does she. She doesn't how how this was allowed to happen, or "what she did wrong" (nothing, obviously), or anything like that. Everything is immediate, and more powerful because of it.

This was really difficult to read because it was just so painful. It was worth it, though.

Thank you so much for entering the challenge. I'm so glad I had the chance to read this story!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hey Renee!

Ahh. Yeah. Sorry about that. Even though this doesn't seem like the happiest ending, Victoire is definitely healing.

Most of the feelings in this story come from personal experience, but I've twisted it a bit and shaped it into something a little more unique to them.

You hit the nail on the head with that assessment. I thought it would really help the shock level to sort of jump from one moment to the next.

I'm sorry it was painful, but I'm glad you felt it was worth reading. It was sort of a cathartic release for me.

Thanks for this lovely challenge!

~Kaitlin


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Review #15, by MuggleMaybeFracture: Crumbling

5th December 2015:
Oh no. At least I can say this: my fears were well founded.

This line: "Our marriage bed has become our funeral pyre and our relationship is slowly dying on it." Holy cow. What an analogy!

The fact that Vic holds out hope so long makes the crumbling marriage even more heart wrenching. Then, later, that *she* feels guilty for wanting to leave him when she's done her so much wrong is so, so sad. I'm glad she has Albus and Rose, at least.

Oh no, that letter - what a terrible way to find out. :(

I wonder what will happen next - I hope she leaves him. Onward to more tears.

Author's Response: Hey Renee,

The end of a marriage is always such a messy thing and there is a lot of guilt associated with it in normal circumstances. It takes a long time to let go of that. I really wanted to make that clear here.

It's definitely a good thing that she has Albus and Rose.

Thanks for this review (and all the others)!

~Kaitlin


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Review #16, by MuggleMaybeFracture: Comme ci, Comme ça

5th December 2015:
Hello again, dear!

Everything is unraveling. I wish I could jump inside the story and hug Victoire. Each moment, each memory, is so believable. This feels so real.

Thank goodness for Albus.

This sentence: "It's like I don't even exist anymore." Oh my god, so much pain for her. *cries*

I am almost afraid to read the next chapter.

as always, this is great. xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm sure Victoire would like a hug at this point. I'm glad it feels real. I really wanted this to connect with real life.

I wish I could say it was going to get easier in the next chapter. Maybe get a mug of hot chocolate first?

Thanks for the review!

~Kaitlin


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Review #17, by MuggleMaybeFracture: Rumblings of War

5th December 2015:
Ah, here it is. I can feel that she loves him now, and when they get married she does seem happy, as well as when he comes home safe.

The section with the owl is really interesting, because she's so anxious, and I *know* that feeling. But then, in this case, it's a false alarm. You gave me this panicked feeling on Victoire's behalf, and then a sigh of relief. You lured me into a false sense of security with that and the next part.

And then - oh, no. Poor Teddy. Poor Vic. They have started to break.

Onto the next chapter, which will probably give me even more feels than this one.

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hey Renee,

Victoire certainly loves Teddy and he certainly loves her. I think this is where those feelings sort of start to go from girlish infatuation to real deep love.

I'm glad that you felt a false sense of security there. Having been married to someone who deployed to war, I know the feeling of jumping every time the phone rings. I really wanted that to show in Victoire's experience.

There definitely is a crack in their relationship at this point, but it isn't over yet. Hold out hope.

Thanks for the review!

~Kaitlin


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Review #18, by MuggleMaybeFracture: First Love

5th December 2015:
Hi, Kaitlin! I'm here (at last) to review your entry for the Microfiction Challenge. Because I want to review every chapter, your reviews might be a bit shorter. We'll see... sometimes I get carried away ;)

This first installment is very sweet. Especially when Teddy tells Vic that he loves her. However, I suspect the sweetness isn't going to last. You've done a nice job of capturing the budding romance while also foreshadowing tension in the future - because despite the fluffy nature of the scenes, this isn't fluffy. And Vic never really seems *happy*, you know?

I guess I'll find out soon enough if I'm right...

Author's Response: Hey Renee!

No worries. They're short chapters anyway, so it would be hard to leave long reviews.

I really wanted the first chapter to be childish and innocent. They are very young and although they think they're in love, it hasn't really been tested yet.

Vic is happy at this point, but she's happy in a sort of naive way. Things will change as she grows.

Thanks for the review and for such a fun challenge!

~Kaitlin


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Review #19, by MuggleMaybeThem: Them

5th December 2015:
OH MY GOD. What a story!

Um, I mean... Hi! I'm here to review your entry for the Super Microfiction Challenge.

I have to confess: I'm jealous of myself. I read this for the first time a week or two ago, and now I'm going through to review all the entries so I read it again. Don't get me wrong; this story is INCREDIBLE. But the adrenaline of reading this the first time was out of this world. I wish I could read it for the first time a hundred times!

After my first reading, I made the following notes which I think you might appreciate: "Good lord, I was on the edge of my (expletive) seat. Holy (expletive) Albus. Exhilarating, terrifying."

Honestly, in terms of an actual review, I'm not sure where to even begin. I am blown away. Each moment is perfectly rendered, you offer just the right details to make it real in so few words. And the characters, too, are magnificently drawn despite the concise nature of the scenes.

This was also a brilliant use of the structure. I like the idea, in theory, of presenting things out of chronological order, but I find it hard to figure out what other order to use. You don't seem to have this problem - the revelation of events as you've ordered them does a lot of work to build the tension as much as possible without it being confusing.

I simply cannot do this story justice. Masterful, honestly.

Thanks for entering your incredible story in the challenge! I am thrilled to have had the opportunity to read it!

xoxo Renee

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Review #20, by MuggleMaybeturn to dust. : five.

5th December 2015:
Hello Theia! I'm here to review your entry for the Microfiction Challenge. :)

First of all, my guesses:
i: James
ii: Sirius
iii: Peter
iv: Voldemort
v: Dumbledore

When writing teachers give that infamous advice - "show, don't tell" - I think this must be what they're imagining. Your language is very tactile, and you're able to say so much just from what you let us see.

This piece is absolutely full of angst and I love it. I think the first three parts are just slightly stronger than the others. Peter - I don't know how people manage to write him so well, but you have.
"If they'd ever bothered to ask, they'd know she's been dead eleven years now."
Oh, my. I loathe Peter, but I can't help but pity him.

I'm honored that you broke your hiatus with an entry for my challenge. It's fabulous.

xoxo Renee

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Review #21, by MuggleMaybeThink of Funerals: Five Stories

5th December 2015:
Hi, Roisin! I'm here to review your entry for the Microfiction Challenge. :)

I first read this ages ago, but I was waiting for the challenge deadline to pass, and then it was NaNo and now here we are. But I did jot down some thoughts on my first reading:

"impressive, drippingly gorgeous"

Indeed.

In a way, these stories are almost like riddles. Really, really beautiful riddles.

I'm not sure I've solved the first one - I understand the idea because you've written it brilliantly, but I'm not certain about the characters. That's ok, I don't think it's entirely necessary to know the characters. Just an observation.

The Diary - oh, poor Ginny! This one I think I solved.

The pantoum style is new to me, and put to excellent use here. I personally really enjoyed this one.

I haven't read "Todesfuge" but your interpretation makes me want to. Beautiful writing. Just stunning!

I love me some WolfStar! And this one is just so telling in SO few words. I feel like you wrote a photograph of Sirius's soul. I know that doesn't really make sense, but it's true.

Your approach to this challenge was so diverse and... it's the best phrase I have... drippingly gorgeous.

I really enjoyed this. It's one I will likely come back to in the future - it made me think. Thank you for entering the challenge!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Yayayay thank you so much for hosting this! It was really /challenging/ in a fantastic way :) And then, just to be weird, I imposed extra challenges and limitations on myself.

For "The Wedding," I honestly didn't have any specific characters in mind. After the fact, I think it might work from Pansy's perspective. Like, her at Draco and Astoria's wedding, maybe.

"The Diary" was CRAZY to write, because the alphabetized thing meant I couldn't plan what I was going to say next. It was almost like automatic writing or something. It was all like "After... buying... countless... er, diaries - OH, I guess that's what's gonna happen here."

I LOVE the pantoum style but have always struggled to make it work for me so I'm really happy you liked this one!

The "Todesfuge" poem is fantastic, because the writer, Paul Celan, has this AMAZING recording of him reading it. Like, just such an amazing rhythm. It sounds a lot like a Jewish prayer, sort of.

It means a HUGE amount to me that you thought I did Sirius well, because he's not a character I ever really write. I'd never even considered WolfStar before I joined this site, but now I love the idea of it. That there might have been a complicated, unrequited thing between Sirius and Remus really adds an interesting and tragic layer to the books, I think.

"Drippingly gorgeous" - I love that! What a huge compliment, thank you!

Thank you again so much for hosting this, all of the entries were absolutely FAB.

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #22, by MuggleMaybefloo: 100

5th December 2015:
Hello! I'm here to review your entry for the Microfiction Challenge. :)

The structure and concept you used here are super cool and interesting. I love the shared words between each section! And the use of the floo network is really brilliant as well, those little flashes of other lives mixed in with Lily's memories. I loved it!

On the other hand, I think it's a tricky approach, because there isn't much at stake during the scenes she sees through fireplaces, so it's a little harder to get buy in during those parts. Nevertheless, the little scenes you wrote were interesting and beautifully written. Your language is really lovely without being overdone. I loved this sentence: "She lets sand trickle through her fingers, reminiscent of an hourglass, not that she needs one."

This is a well written and incredibly unique piece. Thank you very much for entering!

xoxo Renee

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Review #23, by MuggleMaybeCircles: Circles

5th December 2015:
Hello Sian! I'm here to review your entry for the Microfiction Challenge. :)

This is stupendous.

You've captured all the characters with such clarity in such a short amount of space.

Blaise: escapist,longing for ease and simplicity

Millicent: frightened, guilt ridden, angry

Gregory: lonely, sad, abandoned

Pansy: desperate to forget, compulsive in her attempts to make each moment okay. I thought this was a particularly insightful direction to take.

Draco: impatient, guilt ridden, hopeless

And each of them, so desperately haunted.

The way you come full circle with the idea of circles (pun intended :P ) is so brilliant. It's like a loop within a loop, an infinity, that your characters cannot escape from.

I am thoroughly impressed.
I would love to read more from you about this time in these character's lives. You have done this with absolute elegance.

Thank you so very much for entering the challenge.

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hi, Renee!

Ah! *flails* Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked this - I didn't even intend to enter the challenge originally but I couldn't resist it when I got the idea that fit, so I'm really glad you liked it!

I'm so pleased that you managed to understand all of the different emotions and characteristics I was trying to portray with each of the different characters - it's not that easy to do in 100 words, but it makes me very happy that you were able to understand that! And they're all so haunted by what's happened - they might have different lives after the war and be reacting differently in these moments, but each of them is just fighting a battle to cope with what has happened.

The circular motion of the story was kind of intended too; there's no real closure here, because the story doesn't end - the first and last word of the story are the same, even, and the loop just keeps on going - like you said, an infinity from which there's no escape. I'm so happy that came through as well when you read this!

Thank you so much for your lovely, kind thoughts and review!


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Review #24, by MuggleMaybeMaybe This Time: Maybe This Time

4th December 2015:
Hello! I'm here to review your entry for the Microfiction Challenge. :)

Sam, this is really heartbreaking. You've done a spectacular job showing us glimpses of Eloise's life and who she is.

The idea of being a winner at life is inherently upsetting to me, because it implies that there are losers and life is a competition. Her mother thinks 'winning' means this one specific thing, even though that thing hasn't brought her happiness. In fact it's brought her a lot of suffering at the hands of a cruel person. The way you wrote this shows how hurtful all of this can be, and also how much it gets into Eloise's head and makes her doubt herself and struggle to trust others.

This line:
“Give it time, and we’ll catch you a man who’ll never let go.”
Holy moly, Sam, it's brilliant! The underlying reference to abuse is so powerful.

The hardest thing about this story is that, even later in her life, when her mother is gone, Eloise is still trapped inside of these expectations and it just breaks my heart.

Really well done! I loved it! Thanks so much for entering the challenge. :)

xx Renee

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Review #25, by MuggleMaybeMarauder Mind: Marauder Mind

4th December 2015:
Hi Frankie! I'm here to review your entry for the Microfiction Challenge. :D

You've really gotten into the Marauders' (and Snape's and Lily's) heads. I already shipped WolfStar, but you've sold me on it even more. *nods*

Your version of Peter is especially intriguing. He's just a young man trying to figure out where he can belong, and in the end he puts the belonging over doing the right thing. But you manage to show him as a person I can picture the other boys being friends with, while also making his betrayal believable. That's always a tough element of Marauders pieces, so great job!

The first time I read the entries, I made a note with my main impression of each one, and for your story I wrote, "sexy & poignant" - I think that just about sums it up!

Thank you for your entry - I really enjoyed it!
xX Renee

Author's Response: Renee!

Thank you for the challenge! I really enjoyed the difficulty of the challenge and the openness to take it where we wanted it! Thank you for the opportunity to write and for the extremely kind review :)

Frankie


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