Reading Reviews From Member: MuggleMaybe
  
215 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MuggleMaybeWaltz: Waltz

27th August 2016:
♥♥ TANYA ♥♥

I am THE WORST. Why am I THE WORST? Well, for one thing, I am so horrendously late with your gift tag gift, it's absolutely shameful. And, for another thing, I favorited this story about a year ago and never left a review! TSK.

So, anyway, I hope you can forgive my transgressions long enough to read this review, because I really really REALLY love this story!

Your words are just... GAH! It's a work of ART, Tanya! ♥

The repetition works so brilliantly to convey Rose's experience, and I felt you captured OCD really REALLY well. A close family member of mine has it, and that tension between the guilt of inconveniencing others and *needing* to comply with the compulsion is so real and familiar to me. I've seen that. Also, the inability to explain why something that seems meaningless is so important. I wanted to hug Rose so bad during the opening scene.

It's such a different take on Scorose than I've EVER seen elsewhere, and it's really moving and sweet how they normalize things for each other.

And then. AND THEN. The mistletoe. Bless Scorpius, he comes through for her doesn't he? There is so much care and affection between them, but also all this tension because they are, individually, carrying so much tension.

Then the end, the last line. So beautiful. I can't say enough good things about this story, honestly. It takes my breath away. ♥

10/10 without question.

Much love!
Renee

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Review #2, by MuggleMaybePurge and Dowse, Ltd.: Welcome to Janus Thickey

21st August 2016:
♥HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!♥

I couldn't let the day go by without leaving you a birthday review! Only, it seems I've missed the mark because this is such a cool story, it feels more like a gift for me than a gift for you. :P

I absolutely LOVE the premise! I've never seen this done before. You always have the most original ideas.

It's fun to meet some OCs. Miriam seems like a force to be reckoned with. She's very East Coast in my head, I'm not sure why, but I love that she has a strong presence. And I love that she's giving Felicity a chance :)

Felicity reads like the MC in this chapter, but according to your note that's not really the case. Still, if she was the MC I'd be happy about it. First of all, she's a Puff. YAY! She's sort of anxious and persevering at the same time and that's a really interesting combination. (Also, very relateable.) She did so well in school but now it's Real Life and that's pretty intimidating. I love how you've shown that. Oh, and personally, I think she can handle this job, but I also think it's going to be a lot harder than she might realize. Of course, that's often the case with jobs that are about people. You know?

The dialogue for the interview was spot on, and even more so the stilted internal processing from Felicity. Like this:
Felicity pondered for a minute. You were supposed to ask questions, right? Shoot. She didn’t have any.
--> SO TRUE!!! (this is basically me at every interview ever)


And the patients, oh my! I was laughing at the crazy scenarios you used for them, but at the same time it's kind of sad. I hope we get to learn about these characters in future chapters.

I also want to comment on something you said in your author's note, about this being self-indulgent and for you, and that being unusual. MORE POWER TO YOU! I mean, this is fanfiction. It SHOULD be self-indulgent, and it SHOULD be largely for you! I'm so so glad you're writing this if it makes you excited, and also because it's amazing and I'm selfish and I want to read more.

Happy Birthday, Sunshine! ♥ ♥ ♥

much love,
Renee

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Review #3, by MuggleMaybeWhen Summer Fades: solstice

20th August 2016:
I thought you deserved another review after waiting SO LONG, and besides I absolutely had to finish the story!

This is brilliant, of course.

God, the scene with Anne and Bellatrix. *SOBS*

The inclusion of Kreacher was nothing short of genius. I'm pretty sure that isn't canon, but it feels so canon I'm almost doubting myself on that. It certainly fits! Also, Kreacher's involvement explains how he knew to go there in the first place. And nice tie in with the Horcrux research in the last chapter!

Voldemort really is the lowest of the low to abuse a house elf that way. At least Reg wasn't so cruel and took the potion himself like a decent human person. In the end, he's quite a hero, isn't he? ♥

I have so many questions I'd love to ask you about this story - please please please: FIC NIGHT!

I'm sorry I don't have as much to say about this chapter (still no cc).

All in all, this story is just about perfect. You've got the narrative arc, the characters, good dialogue - *favorites*

I would really love to read a little something from Summer's pov, I'll have to scour your AP to see if you've got anything. (Or beg you to write it :P)

wonderful writing, Kristin dear!
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: THANK YOU, you are the sweetest! ♥

I hated writing that scene (with Anne and Bellatrix), but it had to be bad to spur Regulus to action and do such a dramatic thing as destroying Voldemort's Horcruxes even with the knowledge of what might happen to him. but yeah. :'( *hands tissue to Renee*

Kreacher's involvement at the cave is actually canon - a lot of this chapter was based on what Kreacher recounts of the event to Harry in DH (I think the chapter was called "Kreacher's Tale", or something similar) So I can't claim credit for including him. I'm glad you liked the way the scene played out though!

wow, you know, I'd never thought of submitting any of my stories to fic night before. But I looked, and they have to be under 5k, so this one's too long. It means a lot to me that you suggested that though, thank you! I'm really flattered that you thought it was good enough for that. If you have questions you can pile 'em up in my Q&A thread on the forums though, I'm always glad to answer questions.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. seriously. these reviews were so wonderful, and so are you. *hugs Renee forever*


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Review #4, by MuggleMaybeWhen Summer Fades: syzygy

19th August 2016:
HELLO KRISTIN!

Can we both agree that I probably shouldn't be allowed to have a review thread? Please forgive me.

Anyway, moving on to the review...

I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING!
I mean, not even a little bit! Poor Summer :( I wish I could hug her!

I am very impressed with Reg's character development. It's all very gradual and believable. I think the idea of having experiences that open your eyes, but not necessarily one big "AHA! moment" is more true to life. Change takes time, and the way you've paced this has given Reg the time to believable change, without it feeling to slow as a reader.

Reg meeting Summer's family was so sweet, even though it was a bit awkward, and then the letters to and from Anne. OMG, that was the most lovely thing of all time. Well, and it was quite nice that he visited her in the first place. I think that was a smart choice on your part because it shows that he really has changed, that it isn't just his ideas which have shifted but his actions as well.

Oh, ALSO. The inclusion of the Hallows and horcruxes in his research was SO brilliant! Both because it was simply a nice homage to the series, and because it shows a fundamental goodness to Reg's character. He looks at those things on behalf of someone else, doesn't even consider using them for his own ends, and even dismisses them. That drew a sharp contrast between Reg and true Death Eater ideology that was just so great!

Reg and Summer are so great together. I love them as friends, and I wonder about them as something more. The idea that they might never have time to explore that is pretty sad, And I fear it will get sadder - and I also fear that I now see why you're using this reflective tone. You capture it so well, but ah... I suspect feels are approaching. :P

I couldn't think of any cc, to tell you the truth.

Honestly, I can't tell you how much I love your Reg and his angst-ridden struggle between these two paths. It's amazing. You've really sold this to me. I keep imagining it like a movie, wouldn't it be a great movie!?

OMG - you should 100% submit this for fic night please!!!

You're so brilliant! I wish I was able to read more often but please know that you are an amazing writer and I adore you!

much love
Renee

Author's Response: ♥♥ RENEE!! ♥♥

Um, no, I don't agree, haha. If you didn't have a review thread I wouldn't have got this amazing, thoughtful review from you. I totally didn't mind the wait when it was such a great reward! ♥ Nothing to forgive!

yeah, pretty sure Reg didn't see that coming either. With Reg's life being so tied in with the Death Eaters and his indecision regarding them, he kind of forgot that there were things going on entirely unrelated to the Death Eaters that were equally scary.

Thank you - I'm SO glad you like the character development in this - that's so great to hear that it's believable and well paced. I totally agree with you about how change takes time. And I think "aha!" moments kind of come out in retrospect; like you don't realize what a big change one moment had until later, because the process of change is slow. Anyway yeah, I'm glad that came across well.

That was a HUGE step for him to go visit her and be surrounded by all the Muggles - because you're right, it's the first time he really has to match his action to his words in front of others and he does it. I kind of want to give him a pat on the head there, I'm so proud of him :P. I'm so glad you liked his letter writing with Anne as well. I imagine it had a big effect on Regulus, to realize that this Muggle cared about him and showed it, a lot more than his own mother did.

Thank you, I'm so glad you liked the inclusion of the hallows and the horcruxes. It was kind of a last minute idea that came to me as I was writing the chapter and suddenly needed to incorporate. And yes you're right, I love what you point out about what it shows about Reg as a person, that's really insightful - that that scene alone hints that he's really not cut out to be a Death Eater. As Summer said in the first chapter, maybe Reg is not always nice, but he's good.

yep, as you are already aware by now... sad feels ahead. I'm glad you thought the tone made sense here though. Also thank you, I'm so so glad you like this portrayal of Reg and all his angsty indecision. A movie - oh man, wow, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!

omg how do I even respond to that last sentence there. *HUGS* THANK YOU!! guh, you are so kind and amazing and you leave the BEST reviews. ♥ love you.


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Review #5, by MuggleMaybeAn Innocent Question: Life is good

13th August 2016:
copied from AO3

Hi Kappa! I'm here reviewing challenge entries. (Finally!)

This was one of the more challenging pairings on my list, in my opinion, and I'm really pleased you decided to run with it!

I think it's really cool that you decided to set this at a Pride celebration. :) Romance with older characters is sadly uncommon, so that was nice to see.

The characterization of Molly who "has never stopped loving anyone" is WONDERFUL. I adore Molly, and that is such a perfect statement of one of her best traits. Also, it's powerful coming from Andromeda, who presumably stopped loving (and certainly stopped being loved by) her family when she married Ted.

This is a beautifully captured moment. Thank you for entering this fic in the challenge!

xoxo Renee

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Review #6, by MuggleMaybeThis One Moment : This One Moment

13th August 2016:
♥♥SCORBUS♥♥
God, I love them. ♥

Seriously Jill, I don't even know how to explain how much I love this. It's sincere, sweet, sexy. Albus's anxiety really resonates. You made those emotions so real, including the confusion of trying to figure out how you feel when you're overwhelmed or anxious, and I appreciate that a lot. And Scorpius. I want to marry Scorpius, okay? Please? (That description of the green shirt, oh my!) So, can I? No? Fine, Albus can have him. But I need you to recognize my sacrifice here :P

This is totally a tacky thing to say, but I don't care. The love between Scorpius and Al is so so deep in this story. I can feel that they would go to the ends of the earth for each other and it's like they don't know how to understand that degree of love yet, but they're getting there.

I'm out of words. I can't think of any cc. Well done, lovely!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Renee♥

I'm really starting to love Scorbus too. I'm so glad that Albus' anxiety was real; I like to deal with intense emotions, but I'm always careful, worried I'm not going to do them justice, so I'm really glad that you thought you appreciated it. And I don't know, you might have to fight me for Scorpius :P

They're on the brink of falling head over heels, and they're both terrified. And you're right; they don't know how to deal with those feelings quite yet, but they're working on it.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this, I loved writing it.

♥Jill


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Review #7, by MuggleMaybeGraduating Interest: Graduating Interest

13th August 2016:
copied from AO3

Hello! I'm here at long last to review your entry for the Happy and Gay Challenge.

Teddy/Fred isn't a pairing I've seen often. Actually, I'm not sure I've ever seen it before. I really dig it!

I have to admit, I was distracted reading this by confusion over the context, and why they would throw a grad party at Hogwarts for one specific student. But, putting that aside it was very sweet how Teddy was so oblivious to Fred's feelings. And the stuff about Fred/Freddy/Freddie and the different spellings made me laugh!

His speech about his parents got me all teary :') Poor Remus and Tonks! It's nice that he likes to make people feel good. His parents would appreciate that quality. *hugs Teddy*
And then the kiss at the end - so cute!

I really like how you used the phrase "it's never just hello" and had the meaning shift. That is one of my favorite things to see in a story!

Very nice job and thank you so much for entering!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: I honestly have no idea where the party came from- they're just all family so they orchestrated it and it was an excuse for a speech. Plus, at this point, Teddy's one of the most beloved students in the graduating class. (The Black twins are part of my AU and part of the Weasley-Potter clan and that was just an excuse to tease my normal readers. Sorry!)
It was a great challenge and I'm glad you enjoyed my story! It's one of my favorites at the moment. ^_^ So thank you!
-Liz


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Review #8, by MuggleMaybeThe Prince and the Pirate: The Prince and the Pirate

13th August 2016:
copied from AO3

JULIE! I am here, at long last, reviewing challenge entries...
and all I can say is AW! This is SO cute! Definitely fluffy! I'm so glad you wrote it :D

I am very impressed by how you built this story using only dialogue. Each character has a distinct voice that shines and keeps the thread of conversation clear. You did a brilliant job conveying the narrative and the characters that way, and I know that isn't easy. Of course, it helps that it's a framed story, but even the framing of regular Al and Scorpius and their kids creates a clear scene. I particularly loved the children's dialogue. “If Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy didn’t wed by his seventeenth year, the Malfoys would lose their magic forever.” “Oh no …” “You’ve literally heard this story a thousand times, I don’t—” HAHAHA LOVE.

It's interesting in terms of POV, because Scorpius is a rather unreliable narrator. I mean, "The royal family was worshiped by Muggles and elves and goblins and giants alike" -- doubtful haha. But it works so well to have Scorpius relate the story this way, showing himself in the best light, and then Albus shows up to roll his eyes and it really is so fabulous.
The dynamic between them is wonderful, they have chemistry in the way of people secure in their romance. Adorable.

I find myself wondering if this is the same version of Scorbus you've written in another story, or if this is a distinct version? Either way, I would love to read more about this incarnation and their silly kiddos.

Also, like Albus, I wouldn't say no to the dirty version ;) ;)

Thank you for entering the challenge with such a fun, fluffy story, I loved it!
xoxo Renee

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Review #9, by MuggleMaybeWe're Adults Now: We're Adults Now

13th August 2016:
Hello! I'm here, after far too long, to review your entry for the Happy and Gay Challenge.

Scorpius and Al looking for their first home together is such a nice idea for a story. Lucky for them that Scorpius had saved up so much money!

Mr. Havertly is pretty oblivious, isn't he? haha It's sad to think they didn't want to tell him they're a couple for fear that he wouldn't sell them a house. I'm glad you included that though, because it's more honest. I know they will be very happy in their new home :)

Draco is such a jerk at times. However, it looks like things are improving on that front, which is good because they are ENGAGED yay! The engagement scene read distantly, like I was overhearing it without being able to see in. If you were to go back and edit this, I'd suggest adding in some description there.

This is a very sweet story about one of my favorite ships - I'm so glad you entered!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hey Renee! It's okay, I'm a patient person. Thank you for starting the Happy and Gay Challenge (I'm serious, I loved it!)

I wanted it to fit with both your challenge, and the other one this story was for (The New Home Challenge).

Yes he is, I really did want this fic to be as honest as possible. I'm glad you saw that!

Draco is a jerk much too often, in a lot of my other fics he's super accepting, but I wanted another mini problem, because cliched extremely happy fics are the worst and completely unrealistic!

I kind of wanted the engagement to be like that actually. It was an attempt at kind of a surprising gesture, but who knows maybe I'll do a re-write.

Scorbus is one of my favourite ships too! I'm also glad I entered.

-ImaRavenclaw


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Review #10, by MuggleMaybeBlackbird: Blackbird

13th August 2016:
Hello Rose ♥

I'm here to review your entry for the Happy and Gay Challenge.

You know, I almost think you've cheated. Do you realize how much I love children? And HOLY COW is Cora darling or WHAT??!?!? If the prize was for "best strategy for playing to your audience" you would definitely get first place! You've done wonderfully with the actual challenge goal, too, though.

Discussing the issue of parenthood for LGBTQ couples and the added barriers they encounter, was a very unique and interesting take on the theme. This story has a little of everything - a little sexy, a little silly, a little romantic, a little somber - and a LOT adorable!

All the dialogue is perfect! Even though I haven't read many other of your Branbus stories (shame on me!!!), I felt like I got a very clear picture of them here.

And, because this cannot be overstated, CORA IS ADORABLE ♥

Brilliant job, lovely! Thank you for entering.

xoxo Renee

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Review #11, by MuggleMaybeIn the Mourning: A Gryffindor is Not a Morning Person

7th August 2016:
Hi Bex! I'm here with a review for gift tag. ♥

I've never read a story about Harry visiting his parents' graves prior to book 7 before and I think it's a really nice idea. It seems completely in character to me for Harry to be up early to make a request like this, because he's always restless and obsessive when his emotions are high.

You developed the conversation really nicely. At first, there's some mystery about what Harry wants. The description of Umbridge is SO good, too! hahaha!

Now, let's talk about McGonagall. I love her. You've captured the odd combination of passion and pragmatism that makes her so wonderful. There is a great dynamic between Harry and McGonagall here, too. It's like, undercover fondness. SO , on characterization, really well done. Harry too!

The dialogue was really fun. "Potter, I doubt it has escaped your notice but your parents are-” “Dead. Yeah, I know."

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reviewing :)
It was something that I thought was really plausible, and I wondered why JK hadn't put it in - I mean there's lots of implications, but maybe before GoF, there was definitely no reason not to go.

I love to hate Umbridge, it was so easy to write about her and give off that sense of dislike, because, well I'm yet to meet a person who says they like her.

Honestly, it makes me so happy that people have liked my characterisation of Minerva. She's my favourite character, when I was younger I had a teacher who was just like her so I draw a lot of inspiration for McGonagall from her.

That was honestly my favourite line to write, which sounds a bit tactless haha - but it was. A lot of the time dialogue comes before the plot, and that was one of the first lines that came to me. After that all the inspiration for the first three chapters came flooding in.

Thank you so much for such a great review!

Bex


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Review #12, by MuggleMaybeThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 2: The Transportation Office

21st June 2016:
I couldn't resist reading another chapter and sending you more BIRTHDAY WISHES, too.

Poor Dobby must have been absolutely frantic when he thought he'd failed right from the start. I suspect this journey will be good for his confidence. I know you can do it, Dobby!!!

That portkey guy should've been more helpful! Darn public transportation infrastructure is always in need of improvement ;)

The mentions of Charlie and Hannah gave me the feels.

I'm sorry this review is so sadly short. I don't have any CC to offer and I'm very eager to see Harry. I can hardly think about reviewing, I'm so excited! Please forgive me?

Happy Birthday sweetie!
Renee

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Review #13, by MuggleMaybeThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 1: Happenings

21st June 2016:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAITLIN ♥ ♥

I've been a total slacker about reading for the last few months, but I couldn't pass up the chance to leave you a birthday review. Especially since I'm so intrigued by this story.

I confess, I'm usually a fan of stories that involve romance, and when I first read about this story I knew it would be well written, because it's YOU, but I wasn't sure it was my thing.

I was SO WRONG to hesitate! I LOVE it already!

It's really impressive to me how perfectly in character everyone is. Literally everyone. I liked how you captured the dynamic between Molly and Sirius. I wonder if they've seen each other often in the intervening years, or if this is an uncommon reunion? Molly seems to feel as bitter as ever toward Sirius, so I suspect the later. Oh, and I should also mention, I thought the dialogue was quite strong.

Dobby. Oh, that sweet elf. ♥

I really enjoyed this and I'm excited to see what happens to Harry and Dobby as they set out on their journey.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday.
lots of love!
Renee

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Review #14, by MuggleMaybeOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

25th May 2016:
Hello darling! ♥ TAG

I'm SO excited to read this. It's high time, isn't it?

The little opening bit about chance and choice gave me the chills. Just perfect!

Oooh, oh oh oh! I'm excited about your Lily. ♥ I just LOVE child Lily moments, and this is perfect! You created a wonderful scene - I think the blade of grass is a particularly nice touch, and I LOVE how she is oblivious to what we know are signs of Snape's not always savory character. They're both very much in character. Snape reads a little older than 11 to me, but then again I suspect he would have been old for his age, so that is a nice touch in its own right.

This little intro for Sirius is different from what I usually see. A lot of people paint the Blacks as horrible people right from the start, but I found your interpretation much more true to life. This life is what Sirius has always known, it's normal for him. Of course, we know from the books that he isn't enamored with Slytherin or blood purity when he starts at Hogwarts, but regardless, you show a relatively normal boy living a relatively normal wizarding childhood. I find that refreshingly honest. *nods approvingly*

OH MY MERLIN, YSH. Remus' section is just... kljfoiahefwfdsidhf. HOW did you manage to write Dumbledore so perfectly in character? I feel so sad for young Remus, in this story but also just, you know, always. I never thought about Dumbledore going to talk to his parents to arrange things, but it's entirely logical.

THIS QUOTE
--> “Really?” mused Dumbledore, undeterred “Well, I dare say I agree. He does seem exceptionally skilled at Gobstones for such a young age. And his knowledge of hinkypunks - ”
YES YES YES. It is SO Dumbledore, and also BRB LAUGHING :D

I don't have a ton to say about James' section, since it's very happy and fun and doesn't introduce conflict like the others do. But that's exactly as it ought to be with James and you capture him so well!!

Aw, now, PETER is a different story from James, despite the similarly happy moment. You have giving the most perfectly telling insight on PeterRIGHT HERE:
--> If only they knew, he thought grudgingly. He had often considered telling them he was a wizard, but thought he would be ridiculed further.
Spot on! Also, his father as a traveling apothecary salesman is 110% my headcanon now. It fits so well.

Seriously... Siriusly... HOW DID IT TAKE ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE? I am just such a fail, because already I can tell that you are going to be brilliant at writing these characters and think of all the time I wasted NOT reading this! *shakes head in disappointment* I am so excited to read more!!! You're a fab writer, lovely! ♥

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS

xoxo Renee

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Review #15, by MuggleMaybeWhen Summer Fades: equinox

25th May 2016:
KRISTIN ♥

So, when I said I'd get to this in 24 hours, I actually met 240 hours. Forgot the 0. Sorry about that. *HIDES* Seriously, I'm *so sorry* this is extremely late, but I'm glad you requested!

You specifically asked about character. I think you've done a particularly good job showing the complexity of Reg's thought process about blood status and Voldemort and Summer. At the beginning he's clearly a pretty selfish guy, but also a guy with potential to show compassion. I loved that you pointed out both his moral dilemma and his conflict between Sirius and his parents.

This line is just PERFECTION:
--"Maybe you’re not always nice, but you’re good." -- LOVE ♥

I obviously don't know Summer quite as well, since she's an OC and not the POV character. I think she seems a little too perfect, almost, but since this is the first chapter I don't think there's cause to worry.

Oh my gosh, and the way you developed their relationship over time was just swoon worthy! It felt completely believable to me that he would gradually become attached to her sunny personality, whether he meant to or not. I am curious to learn more about her and what she sees in a (boy)friend like Reg. :)

If you revise, the thing I'd suggest looking at is point of view. Reg narrates this piece with a lot of distance. Even though I was interested in the story, I didn't feel like I was "inside" the story until I got to the sunset. I've tried to pinpoint why this is, and the only thing I can come up with is that starting with summary gives it a reflective feel, like Reg is looking back on something. When I started, I kept waiting for the moment when the reflection ended and the 'moment' began. I hope that makes some kind of sense. Basically, you might consider rearranging things a bit to start in a scene, if you want a more in-the-moment feel. However, if reflective is what you want then just ignore me :P

Summer seems totally sweet - definitely Power Puff worthy!! - and your cliff hanger ended was just BRUTAL (in the best way)! I don't have time to read a lot these days but this is most definitely on my list of things to continue with. Request any time - I love reading your work! ♥

lots of love!
Renee

Author's Response: RENEE ♥ ♥ Seriously you have nothing to apologize for! Thank you for reviewing!!

I'm glad you like the portrayal of Regulus so far and that you think his internal complexity is shown well. He is selfish, but also confused. Poor guy :( I think the conflict between himself, his parents, and Sirius, was probably one that weighed on him a lot - I always imagined Regulus and Sirius were close as kids, which would make things for Regulus pretty confusing after Sirius left. I love that you picked out that particular line about nice vs good, I like that line too :)

I always kind of wonder that about Summer too, because in this first chapter where Regulus kind of just sees her as faultless, it does make her seem a bit too perfect - but I'm glad that wasn't off-putting. I promise there is more to her, but yeah, it's a very biased lens we see her through in this chapter.

Thank you, it's great to hear that you liked the very gradual development of their friendship here :)

Ooh, and honestly I'm glad you mentioned that about him narrating with a lot of distance in the beginning. That's intentional - I don't know that I was aiming for reflective exactly, but definitely distance - the idea was that in the beginning he's still very afraid to be vulnerable, he's guarded, and as such his narration reflects that, and is mostly facts and lacks emotion. Sort of like he doesn't let you get into his head as much, if that makes sense? That of course changes later on as Reg changes - I'd be interested to know what you think of that development if you continue reading.

yeah, sorry about that cliff hanger :S Thank you so much for your review and all your kind words! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #16, by MuggleMaybeSanctuary: Sanctuary

24th May 2016:
Hi hun ♥

I'm SO sorry this is late! I've been pulled in a million directions lately, but I did not forget about your review!

First of all, so I don't forget - the Gone With the Wind reference made my NIGHT! I love that book & movie! :D

Now, to business.

I enjoyed this SO much. I always felt desperate for more of Percy's backstory in This Is Audrey Tang, and you've given me that here. YAY! Your Percy has this dark, brooding, but pragmatic presence that I find addictively easy to fall into. (I'm not sure I want to know what that says about me :P ) I'm blown away by how well you weave a world in your writing. It sucks me in so fast and often when I read a one shot by you, I wish it were a novel. I felt like that about Persephone and I feel it again now. Percy's story is so rich in detail and emotion, it's such a wonderful incarnation of his character that you've drawn.

However, I'm having a hard time figuring out how the words on the page make this happen. I think it's some sort of Gabbie magic :P
You convey Percy's emotions so well, along with his relationships and his attitude toward those relationships. I think that may be the greatest strength in this story. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the story is so interesting! I'd LOVE to hear about Percy's time in Russia. Then that thing with Kingsley offering him a job - what a scandal! And what an adjustment for Percy to go from the underground life he lived in Russia to Undersecretary. But I liked reading about the other Weasley's reaction even more.

And then Audrey's letter ♥ ♥ ♥

She's the coolest! And the letter is 100% adorable! She and Percy are absolutely adorable ♥ Plus, they have so much *chemistry* on the page. Full disclosure: I was kind of hoping you'd give us a little bonus scene at the end there bahahahaha!

Please take pity on me and write a prequel to This Is Audrey :P

Thanks so much for requesting!

love and hugs!
Renee

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Review #17, by MuggleMaybeWhen I Go Out With You: Off and Running

23rd May 2016:
♥ ♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE! ♥ ♥

I had been really wanting to continue with this story anyway because it's fab, so your birthday was exactly the excuse I needed to stop by.

I wanted to leave you a crazy long, gushy, fangirling review - but I'm too distracted by THIS LINE:
"What was so wrong with letting Ernie set the rules if it meant I would be happy?"

Something about that just punches me in the gut. You don't take the easy way out, and I really admire that. It's so sad that Hannah feels guilty for not preventing this situation, not taking a stronger stance. I think she greatly underestimates herself, and so maybe she could have taken stronger positions on the "rules," as she puts it. But that wouldn't have changed anything - she's blaming herself for Ernie's faults and it fills me with righteous indignation. DOWN WITH ERNIE.

Yet, at the same time, I agree with her - she's only human and she was happy with Ernie and she shouldn't be blamed for doing what made her happy at the time. You've spotlighted a very real dilemma for a lot of women: the idea that women cannot be independent and also experience love. Which is obviously FALSE in every way, and I'm so lad you're addressing it. No one could do it better! ♥

Also, what Ernie said about her changing clothes: GET LOST ERNIE YOU JERK. I mean, seriously. DOWN WITH ERNIE.

I really want to read more and get to a place where Hannah is happy - and perhaps Erie gets his just desserts :P However I've got TV to watch, so that's all for now. ;)

Love ya!
xoRenee

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Review #18, by MuggleMaybeSleep Without Pain: Sleep Without Pain

18th May 2016:
Hi there! :) I’m here with your requested review.

I’m a little nervous to read this because I love cats and this seems quite sad. But I’m sure it’ll be brilliant, so here goes!

I was right: this is both sad and brilliant. My kitty doesn’t live with me and I’ve got half a mind to race to my parent’s house to snuggle her! :,(
But, the point is, you’ve done a marvelous job conveying emotion through your writing in this story.

It’s really interesting that you chose to write this from Crookshanks’ POV. Huge points for originality – I’ve definitely never seen that before. What I really appreciate about that choice is that as the reader, I know Crookshanks’ approves of their decision to put him down, and I know it was the right choice. That’s very reassuring.

For me, the perfect word for this story is tender. You convey Crookshanks’ pain and weariness very clearly, and that’s very sad, but at the same time it’s clear how much Hermione loves him, and how much he loves her.

“I try to purr to soothe her, but I can’t; it’s too hard to breathe.”
--> this is positively heartbreaking.

You’ve drawn Hermione as a loving, compassionate person, and that certainly rings true. And you’ve done a wonderful job with Ron! I’m usually not a huge fan of Ron, to be honest, but I love that he and Crookshanks have a sort of grudging but mutual respect, and the image of him chasing the poor cat around with his Patronus is sheer brilliance! :D He’s in character and also likeable, which I find impressive.

Really, to have useful CC I need to get a little nitpicky, but I do have something. I noticed that in the narration you occasionally fell into the “telling” trap. (We all do it!) Here’s an example of what I mean—
“I really don’t want to go to her, she’s just going force my mouth open and push stuff down my throat again. I decide not to move. If she wants me, she can come to me.”

The sentence “I decide not to move” is clearly implied by the following sentence, which I also find more evocative. So, you could omit that sentence and convey the same thing, arguably with more impact.

I hope that makes sense – it’s just a thought, not a problem.

Thank you for requesting this even though it is so sad. It’s also very sweet, and Crookshanks voice resonates. Well done.

Definitely request any time!
Renee

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your very kind review. I'm sorry it took me a few days to answer it, work's been insane.

I have cats and I think it shows that I'm beginning to be concerned with them as they approach the time we'll have to put them down. I love writing from Crookshank's perspective and have written another a long time ago with him trying to sleep.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I'm also glad it made you want to snuggle your kitty.

Thanks also for the CC, that's something I try to work on, as sometimes what I write has a good plot (I think) but then I just tell and tell and never show, so it's something I'm working on and having it pointed out makes it easier to try to avoid in the future.

Ah, Ron, he often gets shorted in stories, especially as an adult, so I'm glad you liked his detente with Crookshanks.

Thanks oodles for the confidence builder.


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Review #19, by MuggleMaybeObliviate: Obliviate

17th May 2016:
Hello dear :)

I’m here for your requested review and I confess I didn’t read the summary until I clicked on the story and I’m almost crying already. Usually I am irritated when movie adaptations add things that aren’t in the source material, but the way they added this scene in the movie was AMAZING, and I’ve never read a fic about it before so I am Quite Excited. But also crying.

Here we go.

*Cue tears*

Yep, TEARS. I need a moment. And a tissue.

Hermione is the one that has her act together. She’s the one who has a plan, who is composed, and logical, and reliable in the face of so much chaos. But of course, she also has, to borrow the phrase, an emotional range MUCH larger than a teaspoon. You’ve pulled back the curtain so we can see past her calm façade, and I can tell you took great care in considering how she would feel.

I particularly love her observation that Ron and Harry don’t realize how much she relies on them. I think that’s really true, and it makes me really want to climb into the story and give Hermione a tremendous hug. *HUGS FOR HERMIONE*

She expresses a sort of feeling of powerlessness – that she doesn’t have a choice about the war, and doesn’t have a choice about her parents. There’s a fascinating contrast between that experience of powerlessness and the immense power she wields in casting the Obliviate spell.

For CC, I suggest looking for ways to build in sensory details. I think moments that carry such heavy meaning for the participant tend to resonate more when there’s a strong sense of place. Just a thought.

I found one error with tense – “Everything in my room is packed except for visible items so that they didn’t catch on that I am leaving.” --> “didn’t” should be “don’t”

I LOVE that you finished with just that one word, Obliviate. A perfect final stroke.

This was super sad but you’ve really gotten into Hermione’s thoughts and I’m so glad you requested a review! Definitely drop by my thread any time! :)

xoxo Renee

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Review #20, by MuggleMaybePersephone : Persephone

17th May 2016:
Hi Gabbie! ♥

In your request you said you aren’t sure if I’ve read your Percy/Audrey novel. Well, I have, and I was accordingly SUPER PSYCHED to see this request in my thread! I’m sorry I didn’t get to it more quickly, but I’m here now and so excited to read!

Aw, right away I think it’s brilliant that you focused in on Audrey’s reactions to becoming a mother. Given her own family history it makes sense she would be nervous about it. I feel so sad for her when she thinks about her mother and not getting to experience pregnancy with her mom by her side. :,(

Every time I read your stories, I’m impressed all over again by how marvelously complex and believable Audrey is. On one hand, I know she’s super tough and independent, but on the other hand, she is very vulnerable and struggles with feelings of inadequacy. I think many real people have both those traits, and yet very few characters do. I commend you for that!

I LOVED the connection with the Hades and Persephone myth and it was so incredibly sweet when Percy said he loved her with all her imperfections. ♥ ♥ I am swooning right alongside Audrey!!

I also absolutely adore the way you’ve written Fleur. I think the way she’s portrayed in the books is very biased, and that really she has a good heart. I love that your version of her portrays that and I’m going to be stalking your AP for Bill/Fleur stories very soon! Seriously, your version of her is quite possibly my favorite I’ve ever read!

Audrey’s relationship with Bill was a bit alarming, but smart because it upped the tension to have a somewhat more antagonistic character in the story. It sounds like maybe he judges her for her past? Stupid bloke :P I would’ve liked a clearer understanding of why there’s so much tension between them, on both sides. Then he comes through for her, and it seems like they could mend things, which is also fascinating. Maybe another story to write…? ;)

You wrote the contractions so well - they came a little out of the blue, so that I was immediately on the edge of my seat. Very gripping and suspenseful writing!

I think my main CC is that the story meanders quite a bit. I enjoy the different lines of thought, but it feels a little unfocused. For example, the part about Audrey reuniting with her brother is interesting, but in my opinion doesn’t feel connected to the rest of the story. I almost feel like this could be a short story collection capturing the different ideas and moments you mention here in more detailed focus. There are some wonderfully rich moments mentioned and brushed off, and I think that detracts a bit from the point of this story but each event would be a wonderful story in its own right.

There are also a few places where you’re missing words – just typos, probably. Happens to me ALL the time! *rolls eyes at self* So maybe do a read through looking for that. :)

Thank you SO much for requesting this review – I loved reading more about Audrey and Percy! Definitely stop by again so I have an excuse to read more of your amazing work!! ♥

xoxo Renee

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Review #21, by MuggleMaybeThief: Scones And Jam

14th May 2016:
Kaitlin! ♥
Now that my classes are done for a few weeks, I am finally getting around to reviewing my challenge entries.

But first of all, a belated CONGRATULATIONS ON 100 CHALLENGES! I can't tell you how honored I am that my challenge is number 100! :D

I was pleasantly surprised to see you set this during the war, with the dark backdrop of the Carrows' reign at Hogwarts. I never considered how Romilda would've reacted to that situation, and you’ve shown that it truly brought out her Gryffindor nature. She’s brash and reckless, but also so brave to sacrifice herself to torture for a good cause. It’s very powerful. Somewhat like your Eloise story, this made me want to read more about Romilda and see what other hidden depths she might reveal. The traits you show her exemplifying as a Gryffindor are very time-honored Lion traits, but I didn’t expect them to manifest in this way, so nicely done there.

You are SO GOOD at writing house elves. Which reminds me, Winky’s involvement made me so happy! How adorable and perfect and YES YES YES!

I liked how you ended it without spelling out what was going to happen, but it was still crystal clear from the set up what was to come. Yay, Romilda!

This is a strong entry, and perhaps even stronger as a story in its own right, challenge aside.

Thank you so much for entering, and congrats again on meeting your 100 challenges goal!

Lots of love,
Renee

p.s. I am craving a score with clotted cream and jam now :P

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Review #22, by MuggleMaybeLiar: Children

14th May 2016:
OMG CHIARA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HEART?!

Also, hello lovely! Happy Hot Seat!! ♥

This story is SO SWEET and SO SAD and SO GOOD and going on my favorites the moment I'm done writing this review!!!

I love how you've started this when they're quite young and not really aware of the world around them. The way you show that they were friends before anything happened, perhaps before Remus was bitten, is amazing because it changes how I think about Peter in a major way.It's just so so wonderful, I don't even have the words!!!

And their MOTHERS! OMG! You've done So amazingly with the mothers! They're both very believable, and I can see how the boys take after their families and are affected by their families. And I feel so so bad for Sylvia and John dealing with Remus, and Sylvia sitting outside the garage while Remus transforms for the first time... *SOBS* YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART.

Peter is such a child in the birthday scene, but of course that makes sense because he is LITERALLY a child and I love that you show him feeling normal feelings children feel. And the Platform 9 3/4 scene broke my heart again - no wonder Remus always seems so wise! He really starts thinking about things differently from such a young age, and putting other people's desires and needs ahead of his own and ALL THE HUGS FOR REMUS.

I honestly don't know what else to say besides ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I absolutely adore this story, and I absolutely adore you, too!

lots of love!
Renee

Author's Response: Aww, Renee!!! *hug* *wub*
You are so sweet!!! Thank you so much!!!

Ah, I'm so glad you liked their early friendship (yes, they were friends before Remus was bitten) and that you could see Peter in another light (I have a soft spot for Peter).

Mary and Silvia are both very interesting and sweet women. I love them both a lot. I'm so happy you liked what I did with them, and that you could see how their personalities affected the respective sons.

Yes... having a son turned into a werewolf would be heartbreaking for any parent, wouldn't it? But John and Silvia are wonderful parents, so strong and so full of love, and they are willing to stay by Remus' side in the best way they can. It did break my heart to write the first full moon scene, though... :(

Poor, little Peter... so lonely and lost without his best friend... of course, he's very childish in that scene (after all, he is a child...) I also tried to hint to his dark side there. He's foundamentally egoistic and peevish and he can hold a grudge. But he's just a normal kid feeling normal kids' feelings. At least for now.

Poor, little Remus... He's already suffered so much at such a young age... he had to grow up very quickly, and that's the reason he's so much wiser and more mature than the other kids his age. And he definitely needs a few hugs!!!

I'm so glad you liked this first chapter, and I'd love to know what you think about the rest too!!! Thank you so much for this lovely review, my dear!

All the love in the world!
Chiara


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Review #23, by MuggleMaybeFingers Crossed (& Hope for the Best): Back to Reality

14th May 2016:
Hi Rosie! I’m here for your requested review and I am very excited to meet your version of Rose. :D Thank you for requesting!

I love the scenario you’ve set up – I remember how that felt, graduating from college and coming home and having NO idea what to do or how I would ever become the successful person I wanted to be. And almost all of my friends felt the same, so a huge kudos to you for addressing that situation and the associated challenges and feels!

As far as your concerns go, it is DEFINITELY interesting enough! I particularly enjoyed meeting Rose. She’s funny, independent, personable, and perhaps a bit naïve about what it means to be an adult. Which is as it should be, and gives you space to show her growth over the course of the novel. And, as suggested by how much I can relate to her experience in this chapter, I certainly found her relatable, and I feel confident other readers will, too!

I adore the way you’ve characterized Hugo. Brothers :rolleyes: Am I right?

I thought you did an excellent job with Ron and writing him in character. Hermione was quite well done too, although I think the way I understand her, she would push more for the St. Mungo’s option – she’s pretty stubborn herself! ;)

I’m interested to get more insight on Rose’s relationships with her parent. If I understand correctly, she just spent 18 months traveling the world. Coming back to living under your parents’ roof after that would NOT be easy. Does she feel pinned in? Or maybe she appreciates them more than ever? That would be something interesting to explore. Maybe you already have that in future chapters, I’ll have to read more to find out!

This line:
I wouldn’t go as far as calling it a ‘great opportunity’, but guess it was ‘an opportunity’.
→ LOVE

I didn’t see much description here, but I think that’s alright in this chapter. If I read on I’ll keep an eye out for that. :)

Really, I am so interested to see where you go with this. I think it’s a great first chapter – definitely stop by my review thread any time! :wub:

Also, I’m working on improving my reviews, so if you have any thoughts about that feel free to PM me.

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Sorry for taking so long to reply to this!
Thank you so much for reviewing!

That's basically where I am at in my life as well! So, it's pretty fun to write about it in a fictional sense.

I'm so glad you like Rose, since she's the main character and all, it's pretty important! I love how characters evolve and grow throughout stories with you ever really realising it, so hopefully that's something I can achieve with poor naive Rose!

Haha yep. Hugo really needs no explanation :P

Hmm I think you're right about Hermione! She probably would push a bit more than I've made her. There will be more about their living situation in future chapters, which will hopefully happen naturally, we'll see xD

There really isn't much description at all, but in the next chapter there's heaps!

Thank you again for reviewing!!

-Rosiful


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Review #24, by MuggleMaybeConfession: Confession

13th May 2016:
MEG! ♥

I’m here for your requested review – I'm so happy you requested it! I gotta say, I AM SO HERE FOR THIS FIC OMG. Things I love: Scorpius, Scorbus, dialogue, fluff, your writing. In other words ALL THE THINGS about this story. I am SO EXCITED and I haven’t even started reading yet!

Okay, I should probably read it now. :P

Hehehe, YAY! Scorbus ♥

My two main reactions are that it was super cute, and that I’m never read anything quite like it before.

Reading this was like listening in with my ear against a locked door, and at times I really wished I could open the door and see what was going on – but I was WAY too fascinated by the conversation to abandon my post.

I think the big challenge about an all-dialogue story is that you aren’t just conveying a scene through the dialogue, you’re conveying the characters, the plot, the tone, the setting – everything! It’s no easy feat!

You did a wonderful job guiding us through the plot, and I always understood what was happening. The setting was nicely incorporated, too. It flows well (whatever that means), it’s utterly adorable, and basically I think you’ve got something pretty fantastic here. *nods*

My absolute FAVORITE moment is when Scorpius talks about the weather to procrastinate. HAHAHA, oh, the poor boy!

In terms of CC, I think the main thing is to further differentiate the voices of Al and Scorpius. I could tell who was talking because of the back and forth structure, but I didn’t get much sense of their personalities. I actually wrote a chapter for this challenge, although it won’t be up in time for the deadline, and I struggled with this same thing, so I definitely understand the difficulty! Maybe it would be helpful to think of a default attitude or emotion for each of them and let that guide you. Sarcasm, anxiety, affection, whatever.

This was super fun to read, although having read TFO and knowing how absolutely AMAZING a writer you are (I mean, OMG ♥ you are talented), I do think you could make this stronger.

Thank you so much for requesting this review – I love reading your stories, definitely request *any* time! I’m trying to improve my reviews, so if you have any feedback for me on that note, shot me a PM ;)

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Gah Renee!! You're the absolute sweetest person on the planet!! ♥

Ok. Totally blushing here! But yes, ScorBus is the absolute bestest pairing in the history of pairings! You're excitement to read this has me grinning like a fool. :D

I can't help but to write fluffy fluff-ness when it comes to these two. They're the cutest!

Ah! I LOVE that you said that! I kind of did write it as if I were eavesdropping in on their conversation, so that you felt like you were standing there with your ear against the door is just the most perfect reaction I could have hoped for for this story!! *flails*

No. No this challenge was not easy at all. Probably the most difficult challenge that I've participated in so far.

Eep! Renee! I don't know what to say. Thank you!! ♥ ♥ Haha I just meant, by flowing well, that it didn't seem choppy and the dialogue all fit together nicely.

XD I'm glad you liked that part!

Yeah that is totally difficult to do without descriptions, but I'll go back through it and see if I can work on that. I don't have much faith in myself, to be honest haha.

You are seriously WAY too kind, my love! Thank YOU for this amazingly sweet, kind and lovely review!! ♥

Much love and many hugs,
Meg


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Review #25, by MuggleMaybeUnapologetic: Of Pride

12th May 2016:
BICANCA!

Hello dear! I'm here with your requested review and I have to ask, why on earth did you think you couldn't write Marauders?? I thought this was wonderful and SO cute omg!!! JILLY FOREVER. Please never stop writing ♥

You asked specifically about characterization, so I'll focus on that. I think Remus is *spot on* and I love the details you sneak in about him. Although Peter's appearance is super brief, I'm glad you included him, and I think you capture him impressively well in so very few words.

Sirius seems in character to me. I LOVE that he marks a tally of Lily's rejections of James! haha!

Snape is appropriately terse and the voice felt right, so nicely done there. Honestly, writing Snape kind of terrifies me! Kudos :D

You did a *wonderful* job with Lily. ♥ I've sometimes seen her written as a Mary Sue, but you've done brilliantly with her and avoided that trap. The only question I have with her is, I don't know that Lily as I understand her would forgive Severus for such a terrible thing, even if it is only because she's decided to end the friendship. I think I'd find it more believable if his crime were something milder or if she were more upset. However, that is certainly a matter of opinion :)

Last but not least: James! Aw, James, gotta love him!! And ohmigoodness you ROCKED him! He's wonderful. You're wonderful. It's all wonderful. ♥ ♥ One thing I'd like to see if you decide to revise, but which isn't absolutely necessary, is a bit of internal regret on James' part for jinxing Snape, or a brief thought that he shouldn't - something to connect with the idea that he's changed some, even if he still jinxes Snape anyway.

Overall, I am so impressed to know this is the first time you've written these characters, because you've done a fab job of it! I'm not surprised, because you are amazing, duh.

You also asked about pacing - I thought the pacing was well done, no comments on that.

I found two little errors with tense in the last section-
"Lily won't go out with him unless he apologized" - should be "apologizes"
"She knows she'd done the right thing with Severus" - should be "she's done"

Ok, so the whole time I was writing this review I was sort of desperate to get to the end because OH. MY. WORD. THE END IS SO CUTE! ♥ Beyond cute. I loved it!

Wonderful story, dear!! Thank you so very much for requesting a review - and for being my first ever requester!!

I'm working on improving my reviews, so if you have any feedback for me on that front, shoot me a PM ;)

love ya!
Renee

Author's Response: RNENENENE!

Ohhh myyy Merlinnn this review put the biggest smile on my face! As I read I was slowly relaxing all my stress at a dodgy-character Marauder story, so thank you ♥

I will admit the scene between Snape and Lily felt a little off to me too, but (I shall be honest) I rushed this story and the challenge theme was forgiveness, so I squeezed it in. But this, along with your advice on a bit about James' regret, is something I'm considering changing, so thank you!

You are doing a top notch job of reviewing! I'm always here if you need to practice ;)

Thanks again ♥ x


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