Reading Reviews From Member: In The Shadows I Dwell
  
166 Reviews Found

Review #26, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: The war finds Hogwarts

11th August 2011:
What an interesting take on the Death Eater's attempting to recruit James and Lily, I never imagined that Slughorn would have favoured Bellatrix LeStrange, but I suppose it would make sense, she comes from a wealthy and old pureblood family, and a lot of people seemed to fit the Slughorn Future Star mould simply on that basis alone. I also thought it was interesting that they attempted to recruit students at his party, and was a great link to how Regulus joined up, which would make a lot of sense considering he was rather young when he did.

I really like how you've managed to tie a lot into this chapter, I really do love all the Quidditch talk you include in this story, and the bits and pieces here and there which really do remind us that these are dark times, and the actual presence of Death Eaters at Hogwarts? Well it's no wonder Dumbledore was furious, it was an intriguing idea having them linked to Slughorn, it would make sense that some of his favourites would attempt to recruit him in later life...

Another brilliant chapter, even if you aren't particularly thrilled by the chapter, I sure was!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You never thought Sluggy would have liked Bella? A brilliant witch from the Black family? I thought it was obvious, hahaha. :) And you can't deny that she was very successful in her chosen field, even if that was torturing and killing people. :p Anyway, it seemed to me a good way of having the approach made to James and Lily, considering we know it happened at some stage.

Anyway I'm really pleased that you liked this chapter because, as I said, I thought it wasn't really up to standard. Then again, we're always the most critical about our own work, right?

cheers, Mel


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Review #27, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Valentines Day

10th August 2011:
It's interesting to see how Valentine's Day seems to bring out a rather shall we say... Different side (to keep it 12+) to this relationship. I think you've also demonstrated how as teenagers, they're basically being driven by their hormones at this stage and I think it's perfectly believable for both of them. I also like how you've adopted an implied tone, I tend to find it's the lack of details sometimes that make these sorts of scenes what they are (Stephen King is particularly good with that sort of thing), that and the fact that we're all bound to the ToS! It something you've done wonderfully here!

I like how it didn't seem out of place in the chapter also, it was well balanced when it could have easily been a little unbalanced considering the nature of the scene. I think the pink bubbles might have done the trick! Excellent use of that spell too! Sadly this is my last review of the night, but I'm greatly looking forward to the next chapter when I resume reading tomorrow, your writing is ever perfect in this story, and it's fast becoming my favourite story of all time here at HPFF.

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You know, you're not the only one who had trouble describing that Valentines Day scene in 12+ terms. It did feel right, though, for a couple of horny teenagers - though, as you noticed, I'm bound by the ToS and, like Stephen King, I'm keen on letting people's imaginations do the juiciest bits. Not to mention the fact that Laura's far too coy to go into any details ainyway. :D

And yeah, pink bubbles. I got a giggle out of that one myself! *grins*

cheers, Mel


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Review #28, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Duelling lessons

10th August 2011:
Thank goodness, for a moment I feared the worst, but it seems I had no reason to panic luckily. I was very much excited to see that the boys are giving Lily and Laura duelling lessons, that was always my favourite part of the second movie so hence my love of reading scenes based around them. I also love how you managed to draw Sirius and Laura back together, there are so many aspects to their relationship, and so many different ways which they are drawn back together, it's hard to imagine them apart at all now.

That and I think the wild rumours about what was pierced into Sirius' skin, or tattooed for that matter were a lovely touch and reminded me so much of Ginny being asked whether Harry had a tattoo. It seems that admirers can be something of a problem for the boys of Hogwarts, particularly Sirius'. I feel almost sorry for all his past girlfriends having to put up with their ridiculous behaviour...

On to the next chapter, and I have to say I'm relieved it's not another cliff-hanger...

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Ah.,duelling lessons. It did seem to be the sort of thing those boys would do, and it fit with my narrative so I did it. And yeah, I did get inspired by that scene in HBP - there are some correlations between my Sirius and Harry in that book (including the fan club,hehehe) which you've picked up on, but hey, I figured that if it was good enough for JKR ...

cheers, Mel


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Review #29, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Confrontations

10th August 2011:
I think you've handled the several situations wonderfully in this chapter. Firstly there is the conflict within his own family, and I particularly loved the insight into Sirius and Regulus' relationship, they seemed to be an awful lot more close than I ever assumed them to be, and to see him mention that he has defended Sirius well I think it proves that perhaps he couldn't really have been all bad in the end, even if he did become a Death Eater, I think his later actions proved this anyway, but it was a nice note.

I also love how you've handled Laura not knowing about Remus' condition and the confusion which has come as a result. There would certainly be a level of confusion in the relationship at this early stage, but it's nice to see that it has resulted in conflict rather than him simply just spilling the secret to her because of the loyalty he feels to his best friend. I almost forget that not everyone knew he was a werewolf at times.

I can't wait to see what happens next... You always leave us on such brilliant cliff-hangers.

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Yes, I thought we needed to deal with Regulus sooner rather than later. It's not exactly a match he'd be very keen on, so there was always going to be a bit of a scene.

And yeah, the first full moon after they get together, Sirius isnt' exactly going to be telling her about Remus' lycanthropy, is he? It's not far enough in yet. So I wanted that confusion and feeling fo betrayal ... and I'm glad that you didn't automatically think they were breaking up over it, as a lot of people did. They had an argument,yes, but arguments can be overcome.

cheers, Mel


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Review #30, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Reconciliation attempted

10th August 2011:
They're back together, I would say it's about time, but really not all that much time has passed at all. Although I have to say I've very glad she didn't have to accept Bernie, he just doesn't seem as right for her, you know? I love reading reconciliation, particularly one's where it doesn't necessarily go entirely according to plan and in fact it's almost painful to read as they fight and attempt to sort out their differences.

In a way this was almost heart wrenching, having both sides of the story almost it's clear that was a misunderstanding but there was a stubbornness standing between them, and I think it's very much a part of both of them, not just one. Although I'd probably say Sirius is just persistent more so than stubborn.

I'm very glad they got back together though, and in a way which was so wonderfully written that I almost thought they wouldn't... On to the next chapter!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Yes, they're back together. After waiting so long to actually get them together, I wasn't going to keep them apart for long. Besides, too many chapters of heartbroken angst would be terribly annoying to read, right?

And yeah, they're both stubborn in their own ways. Not always a good thing, but terribly human of them I think. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #31, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Back to school

10th August 2011:
Another brilliant chapter, and I love how really Lily proved to be the insight in Sirius' side of the story that we needed to balance everything out. I think there's really two or more sides to every story, and something I think Laura, as perfect as she is a narrator only can see one side of the situation, so it was nice to have Lily break this up a little and really put a focus on Sirius' side. I think you've written her well doing this, it really seems like something she would do, not to mention her caring nature is quite clear in her words.

What is this business with Bernie... Sirius and Laura have barely been apart two weeks! This is not an ideal situation for her to be in at the current time. I must read on to see whether she says no...

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You're definitely right in that there are two sides to every story, and Laura is definitely only seeing one side of it. And she's held out from talking to him for so long now that she can't exactly go to him herself, that would be losing face. Hence, Lily. I thought the guilt of keeping her and James apart would work here on Laura's consicience.

As for Bernie, well he's not asking her out, just registering an interest for when she is ready. I agree that the timing wasn't brilliant but he was trying to be as tactful as he could. But yeah, not ideal, have to admit that. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #32, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: At the Potters'

10th August 2011:
No! Such a short period of time, and yet there is already trouble brewing... How heartbreaking! Although, I do want to think Laura's caught the wrong end of the conversation or misinterpreted something, although I'm not entirely sure she has. Either way what a sad little ending to what would have been such a lovely party.

I have to say at this point, I'm utterly convinced that this is among the best stories I've ever read here at HPFF, I absolutely adore everything (Except Bertram - there's no love for him from me) about this story, in particular the writing which is always so perfectly spot on and the events which continue to unfold always surprise and shock me when I least expect them to.

Another brilliant chapter, I loved the insight you've given into James' life, I never imagined his family to be that wealthy but it would probably make quite a bit of sense now that I think about it... Keep up the amazing work, and I shall now move on to the next chapter!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You didn't think it was all going to be sunshine and rainbows, did you? That would make for a pretty boring read. :) I'm not saying that there wasn't a misunderstanding, of course, but there was certainly no error in what she overheard. Poor thing, she does jump to conclusions easily, doesn't she?

As for James' family being wealthy, well from the contents of Harry's vault in Gringotts I assumed that they had a lot of money. At least, that's my reasoning on it. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #33, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Christmas

10th August 2011:
Ahh, so much was revealed, and it turns out I was right about the clasp, although it was nothing more than a wild guess at the time, it's still nice to know of course that it came from him! I always wonder about Sirius in the Muggle world, it seemed as though he certainly loved aspects of it, the motorcycles etc. So I think it was a nice touch that they spent their day together in the Muggle world, that and this line had me bursting out in laughter, "He smiled mischievously. “Of course I’m Sirius.”" I just love Sirius references with his name being so serious and all.

I also love the hints at the danger of the times they live in, often when I find myself forgetting that they are living in the midst of Voldemort's first rise to power you add something in that always reminds me that it's not all about romance, there's some very important events happening right before our eyes, decisions that would ultimately affect the entire world. I also love how you portray Bea and Laura's relationship, and I loved how Bea comes across as initially helpful, but really she was anything but, it seemed like the sort of mischief she would get up to according to what we know about her.

This was a really sweet chapter, and it's nice to see just how much he has cared for her over such a long period of time! Now, to the next chapter!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Yes, this was one of those chapters that had to happen if I wanted to disperse a lot of the misunderstandings and doubt and let this relationship actually progress. There's a bit of insecurity to deal with (on both sides) so I thought it was important to get as much out in the open as possible. Not saying that it means it's all smooth sailing from now on, of course, but it did help. :)

As for Bea, well she's a gem of a character in a lot of ways, and so much fun to write. Those little snippets are actually hugely helpful to Laura if she'd just pay attention, but of course she doesn't so it all goes over her head. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #34, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Confessions

10th August 2011:
I feel as though I experienced the entire emotions of a cliff-hanger in the space of a day, the anxiousness and the absolute desperation to know what would happen next. In some small way I think I was expecting this, but I wasn't expecting to be well, so perfect! I love the moment that you've put this in and the whole confession from Sirius, there was something so honest and beautiful about his words, it's almost as though you've managed to convey exactly how much he likes and has liked her for such a long time in just a few short sentences and it's nothing short of magical.

Although I do feel some pity for Bernie, yeah I've been in that boat before, at the same time I'm just so happy this moment has finally arrived that I probably really don't care all that much and the fact that he understood makes it all better. I love how you've ended this chapter on such an open end, the new couple separated for three whole weeks, I can't help but wonder what will happen and whether she will actually tell her parents that she has a new boyfriend.

Once again your writing was simply marvellous, and the Sirius/Laura moments were utterly perfect and well worth the wait from the very beginning! Another amazingly written chapter! Quite possibly (well actually it is) my favourite this far!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Oh, thank goodness! As someone else pointed out, there was so much leading up to this moment that it could very easily have spiralled into a big soppy mess that was just painful to read. So thank you so much for saying this, it's a huge load off. It can be a fine line in getting a scene like this right - not too mushy, but not too brief either - but it seems like I did it okay. *breathes sigh of relief* I admit that this is a chapter I don't re-read when I revisit this story because it is mushy, but it did have to be in there.

And yes, poor Bernie. Like I said, I do feel for him. It had to be someone, though, and he drew the short straw.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #35, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Snowballing

9th August 2011:
OMG! THIS DIDN'T JUST HAPPEN! *calms down* I'm going to have to say it, there are not even words to describe how much this cliff-hanger is getting to me, after all this time... Is the moment finally here? Although I feel somewhat sad for Bernie, I mean his date has just been dragged away by none other than Sirius Black, I'm sorry but hardly anyone could compete with that...

I sadly have no rotten fruit handy at the current time, so I shall not be throwing anything in your direction as sadly this is my last review of the night, so in true cliff-hanger fashion I am left to wait another 8 hours until I can begin again. :( I just want to know what happens! The suspense is honestly getting to me!

Your writing is just that amazing, I seriously envy your ability to create a story which is filled with a series of such amazingly real characters who seem to almost leap off my screen and into real life as I read. It's a serious talent for any author to have and I'm insanely jealous! Keep up the amazing work and I shall return tomorrow with more reviews!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Yes, this did just happen. Do I take it you liked my timing? Though yeah, poor Bernie - he's a nice guy who doesn't deserve to be stuck in the middle of this, and you're right, he could never hope to compete. I feel kind of sorry for him, though I didn't see much else I could have done, really. As you said, another Bertram would have been a bit much.

And thank you for not throwing any rotten fruit. I had to dodge a few things like that when this chapter was first posted, I'll admit that much. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #36, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: The worst news possible

9th August 2011:
The Black Family History! I was not expecting this at all and yet when I got up to it I realised I was in for a real treat knowing the details you've poured into everything else. There was a single line in particular I could imagine this Sirius saying: “They’re second cousins. I’m not quite as inbred as you like to make out.” , I don't know what it was, but it was just something he would say, and most definitely a Sirius moment. I love how you portrayed the finding of a wife for one in the Black family, it sounded like what I'd imagined some form of royal marriage screening process, perhaps even worse, to be like, with all these ideals and pre-selected traits needed to exist within the poor woman, all for her to become a producer of heirs.

Of course, I love the Pureblood history, so it was very interesting to gain this insight overall into his life and how he would have been brought up knowing this is how his life would be and what was expected of him as the eldest. I also like all the Yule Ball happenings, in particular Laura finding herself a date that wasn't Sirius... We shall have to see how I like this development when the Yule Ball arrives... I only hope he's not another Bertram...

To the next chapter!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You know, I had that Black family history scene written out for ages before I worked out where it would fit in properly. It seemed something that needed to be covered, but finding the right place for it proved harder than I'd anticipated. Fortunately the spot came up in this conversation and it flowed pretty well so I was very relieved! And yes, it was based somewhat on royal wedding screenings, or more accurately the choosing of spouses for the English aristocracy in about 1800, which seemed to fit how I'd interpreted pureblood relations in JKR's universe. And yes, that line ... I was quite fond of it myself. Glad you liked it! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #37, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Facing reality

9th August 2011:
It would seem as though everything has a way of sorting itself out despite initial impressions which had me assuming I'd been completely off the mark when I thought that would be the chapter the moment they would realise they need to be together would occur, but in a lot of ways I'm glad it wasn't. I love a good cliff-hanger! (Quite possibly from watching far too many dramatic television shows...) I just love how it all came together and it seemed as though there really is so much more to Sirius than I first assumed.

I imagine it would be difficult living with a group of girls giggling behind you as you walked about the castle, not to mention throwing themselves at you at any available opportunity! Again, I pity Sirius, not just for everything he has been through but for what he continues to put up with.

I love the genuine concern and friendship he has formed with Laura, it's natural and works so perfectly. Their conversations flow beautifully, and I never really want them to end when reading (and they say I'm not romantic) it's one of those perfect relationships which has grown ever so slowly into something so beautiful and amazing, it's truly been amazing to watch it unfolding as I've read through this.

Forwards I go!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You know, I'm quite fond of this chapter. I didn't want to string the misunderstanding out for too long, but 2000-odd words seemed to work quite nicely. As for characterisation, you've probably guessed that I got a bit sick of the one-dimensional Sirius you see portrayed so often and tried to give him the depth that JKR hinted at, so I'm glad you like how I've gone about that. As for the relationship, well I think I've said before that I wanted slow, steady and believable, so again thank you because it sounds like I managed that okay. *beams*

thanks again, Mel


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Review #38, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Pubs, pranks and parties

9th August 2011:
I can promise you this review won't be all that long, because I absolutely must find out what happens next, I have to say I'm both shocked and well intrigued as to what will happen next... It's a rather strange mix, I do want to find out what happens but I sort of don't in case it's bad. Now I'm just rambling. I have to say you certainly know how to throw a party! The parties in this remind me so vividly of the parties I went to at that age (although those weren't in the Gryffindor Common Room) and I have to say, I got a good giggle out of drunk Sirius, and the ever reasonable Remus.

Also, I'm very excited about the Yule Ball approaching and how this will all turn out. I also love all the developments which were made in this chapter, there was an awful lot that happened, and I guess there were also a lot of choices to be made for Laura, which is always good to see how she is developing as a character over the course of the entire novel.

I wish I could write more, but I simply have to find out what happens next!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Ah, poor Laura. I am mean to her sometimes, and this was just too good a cliffy to ignore, don't you think?

Glad you liked the party. It seems to me that those boys would definitely know how to throw one, so I'm very pleased that it came off well, complete with drunken antics and the like. Well, can you blame them? It felt totally in character, hahaha.

cheers, Mel


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Review #39, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Broomstick maintenance

9th August 2011:
More Quidditch/Broom related goodness! How marvellous! Once again there was magnificent detail in what you've presented in this chapter in terms of these, and as you mentioned in your Author's note you don't exactly have a lot to go on from canon regarding this time and what brooms were popular and about, and I think you've managed to make it seem believable and in its own way entirely possible, that and I love that the good old Cleansweeps got a mention! (They just seem like the sort of broom I probably would have been given, so I always love reading about them)

I'm not going to say anything on the Laura/Sirius relationship because I'm relatively sure I can see where this is heading, but what I did love was your characterisation of Slughorn, unable to remember the name of students he did not bring into his club of collected students. It was very much something we did see him do, and I think it's interesting that Laura, who does display quite a lot of talent at times wasn't "collected" as well. Although then again, it's a nice touch as well, considering how exclusive it was.

Onwards I go!
- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You know, it was incredibly hard writing that broomstick stuff because we have so little to go on, but I'm glad you think I did a decent job. After all, Laura's supposed to know this stuff inside out so it had to be convincing. So I just had to make it up on the hop and hope for the best. Thank you! :)

As for Slughorn, well we know from HBP that he doesn't pay much attention to people who aren't in his club (ie his treatment of Ron), so that was easy (and fun) to write. And why would Laura have been picked? Cauldwell isn't exactly a high-profile name, she's not well connected and she always faded into the background in her younger years. Bea, while brilliant, was never going to be influential with the sort of character she had, so Slughorn wouldn't think to align himself with a relative of hers. So Laura was always going to be missed over there. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #40, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: It's all about James

9th August 2011:
YAY! James and Lily are finally together, and I would say, it's about time, but it was most definitely the right time and in the right fashion too might I add. I'm not usually an overly big fan of Lily/James, I'm usually a Snape/Lily fan, but something about the way you've written them has for the course of this story allowed me to be shipping them almost as much as I'm shipping Laura/Sirius, and at this stage it's seeming like more and more like it's going to happen! So I'm most definitely excited as a reader.

I love the insight into Quidditch you've provided, and not to mention Wales, sadly I'm poor at my general geography so I didn't really have much idea where she was describing, but it seemed as though James didn't either, so in the end it wasn't too disheartening. I may have even learnt something... I also love the detail you've put into taking apart a broomstick and putting it all back together again, the thought never actually crossed my mind what they'd do with the broom in order to get it to Hogwarts, in my mind I think I thought they carried it or something odd like that, this seems to make much more sense!

Yet another great chapter!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Ah, you need to brush up on your Welsh geography,by the sounds of things. Don't worry, all you need is a decent atlas, which I can vouch for because I've never been to Wales (or Bristol, for that matter) and that was what I used. I figured that English people would be pretty vague about Wales and Scotland, though, and from the feedback I've had from the UK it looks like my guess was right. :D

And yeah, James and Lily finally got together. I wanted to give them a nice long time and, given the canon fact that they got together in seventh year, I thought I'd make it early in seventh year, just cos I'm nice. (See! I am nice! Just not to some of my other characters, that's all.)

cheers, Mel


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Review #41, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Getting to their Heads

8th August 2011:
Let me start by saying, I love how you brought Vernon into this chapter, and by showing Lily's disliking for him and the description too only added to the overall mental image I formed of a teen-aged Vernon Dursley, I cannot help but shudder a little at the thought. I think it's the small details that you've included in this story that have be so addicted to it, I'm really big on the details and in a lot of ways I feel that it's all the really fine details in this story which allow this world that you've created to slide so perfectly into canon events almost seamlessly at that too! Which is a beautiful trait in any fanfiction writer in my belief.

I love the discussions in this story, I know I've said it once, but I could really say it a million times and not feel like I've said all I meant to but I just love how easily the characters interact, as though it's as natural as anything and the conversations that they are having too! I think I'd be in Laura's boat, unable to joke about Sirius' underwear as casually as Martha does either, although I have to admit that conversation was completely and utterly hilarious, and answers that seemed as though they would come from a group of teenage boys with such a close relationship as well.

Another brilliant and detailed chapter! I look forward to the next one!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: I do love probing the teenaged mind, and conversations like those are just ripe for the picking, don't you think? It was a lot of fun writing it so I'm glad it was just as enjoyable to read. :) It probably says something about the characters though that in a lot of cases I didn't have to give the conversations much thought, as I just put them in the situations and they ran with them, so to speak. :)

Thanks too for your comments about sliding the bits of canon in. We don't have a whole lot of canon information about the Marauder era so I really wanted to include every last bit I could. Glad you liked the description of Vernon, too! I smiled at that one myself. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #42, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Summer holidays

8th August 2011:
This was a long chapter! But I particularly love what you've managed to fit into it, I'm always interested into how the summer holidays are spent by characters and once again, Laura proves to be a most brilliant narrator for your story, particularly as she proves time and time again to have some of the greatest insights into the character surrounding her, and I love how you've highlighted James and Sirius' fascination with Muggle driving, it was very much in character for the both of them, and in particular oh so Sirius as we know from his love of motorcycles.

I think what I love even more than this is how you set the world around them up, and the darkness which surrounds them during this time. I think we sometimes forget that it was not only Harry's generation that lived through such dark times as Voldemort rose to power, but his parents as well, and you capture that so well by creating an equally as dangerous and dark atmosphere which surrounds these characters, despite some of the lighter moments the characters share. I love how you create this so perfectly particularly in the rules forced upon the girls due to the current danger, it makes it clear how bad things have truly gotten in the outside world when they usually seem so safe and locked away from it at Hogwarts, despite hearing of the deaths and witnessing and fending off the Dementor attack.

Another brilliant chapter!
- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Yeah it was a long chapter, but I couldn't really cut it because of how the next chapter flowed. But, I'm glad you liked it, because it did cover a fair bit. The driving lessons thing I was very pleased with when it first occurred to me, because as you said it did seem very much like James and Sirius to want to know how to do that. :)

Equally, I thought that the chapters away from Hogwarts really did have to cover the war and how it was affecting people. I think I've said it before but I get pretty annoyed when people ignore the war in Marauder fics because, if it wasn't a huge thing, then why would they all have joined the Order straight out of school? So I tried to show that here. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #43, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Exams

7th August 2011:
If I had to pick a line that summed out how obvious her feelings are getting to the general public thus far, I'd have to say this has made it more than obvious: “Look, James,” I said with a touch of exasperation, “just because I’m female doesn’t mean I automatically know where Sirius is. Not every girl is so hung up on him that they keep tabs on his whereabouts.” Particularly because I can only imagine the look on James' face when she said it. It's one of those magical lines that you can just hear being delivered from one character to another, and I think in a lot of ways, it was just one of those lines you can never quite forget reading for all the right reasons.

I did notice one thing that caught my eye, you mention that they brewed the Polyjuice Potion under exam conditions, however I was under the impression that it took a month to brew due to the lacewing flies (or something like that) being required to stew for 21 days or something along those lines. It's only small I know, and it's probably me being a complete and utter canon-fact-collector, but it caught my eye so I though I'd mention it.

Another brilliant chapter here, I particularly love how you've portrayed Sirius' emotions and the reasoning behind them... Poor Sirius, I really do pity him in your story, he seems to be so much more than the usual trouble maker he is usually portrayed as in fanfiction, and actually human in this, and it's so amazing to see! Keep up the great work!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Right, Polyjuice Potion. I've now added an author note to this chapter because people kept bringing it up. I know it takes a month to brew, but the idea was that the students would have been provided with pre-stewed lacewing flies and fluxweed picked at the right time and the like, and then have to brew the potion under exam conditions. That would still be hard, right? So yeah, while it does seem like an error that was what I had in mind. :)

Aside from that, yeah James thought that line was funny, but I will say that she's not being as obvious as you think because only a couple of people are catching on. More on that later. :)

And thank you for saying that Sirius is something more than the pranker so many fanfics make him. He's actually a pretty complicated character and that was what I tried to show in this story - I know that it's not a common portrayal of him but I like to think it might be accurate.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #44, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Deciding the Quidditch Cup

7th August 2011:
Oh the potential romantic developments that could have occurred here, but I wait semi-quietly and entirely patiently, because knowing your writing this far, it's going to be amazing when it happens! Not to mention well worth all the build up that is occurring, honestly I think at this stage even if they don't kiss I won't care, the tension and the drama are enough to sustain my curiosity well and truly for now!

Although I have to say, Sirius seems to be in a really foul mood, despite the Quidditch House Cup incident, and I was so glad that they actually won the House Cup AND the Quidditch Cup! *GRYFFINDOR PRIDE ALERT!* I think there's something very true about that awkward hug, I know when it's awkward I always try to do something to correct it and I end up holding on longer, which in turn makes it more awkward, so I could completely understand her feelings towards this!

Yet another brilliant chapter, I especially like the part where Gryffindor win everything - because that's how things should always be! *liratey smile*

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Don't get too excited about potential developments, because I'm horrifically mean to my main pair in that regard. In other words, yes I enjoy torturing them (and readers in the process, I'm told). *evil grin* There are a lot of near things that don't get any further, but then again they both have insecurity issues to deal with in their own ways here so those will of course get in the way.

cheers, Mel


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Review #45, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Intrusions and epiphanies

7th August 2011:
YES FINALLY! *jumps about with un-contained excitement*
Finally the realisation and admittance has arrived, just at the perfect moment as well! I think what I love most about this situation is how you've been building up to it for so long that when it finally arrived it was beyond anything I could have expected in terms of sheer awesomeness. For her to admit such a thing to Mary would have been so difficult, but then again I suppose she had to tell someone!

I for one, am Siriusly hoping she does not come to her senses any time soon, (bad joke I know) but I have to say, your writing of the conversations between all the characters is so perfect, I always love extremely well written and believable dialogue, and I believe you've captured the age of the characters well in how they speak to one another, every single time. I honestly can't wait for the next chapter, you are a seriously talented writer, so I'm going to move on straight away!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Yeah, she took her time, didn't she? But then again she did have some issues to deal with in the form of that annoying ex, so there were other things on her mind besides personal epiphanies. And yes, she had to tell someone, ashamed though she was of becoming just like everyone else, so Mary has to bear her secret. Then again, she bore Mary's crush on James, so it's only fair, right?

And thank you so much in saying that my dialogue is age-appropriate, as that is something I tried to do yet, as my own teenaged years are so long ago, something I wasn't sure I had got right. *happy dance*

cheers, Mel


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Review #46, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Hogsmeade under attack

7th August 2011:
I absolutely loved the idea of having a Dementor attack in Hogsmeade, particularly as it ties perfectly into canon in the sense that they sided with Lord Voldemort during his initial rise to power so it was perfectly believable. I also like how you mentioned in your author's note that it would have taken something rather significant for James to have been made Head Boy without being a Prefect first, and I think this explanation works perfectly, demonstrating his more responsible and caring side.

I really like how so suddenly Laura's feeling for Sirius have dawned upon her and how suddenly he sort of seems to be mirroring these feelings almost as though he too has shared them for longer than he has let on, much longer I'm assuming. I think him showing genuine concern for the girls safety alongside James goes to show there was so much more to him, and I think you've portrayed this beautifully in this chapter.

I honestly have not got the words to describe how much I am enjoying this story, and coming from someone who almost exclusively reads Dramione, I'd say that's a pretty big thing! Well done!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: You would not believe how difficult it was for me to work out how to get the Head Boy-ship into this story without it sounding contrived. Boy am I glad you seem to think I managed it, because it was giving me real headaches. However, as you said, the Dementors did side with Voldemort in the first war and this was one way of showing how that might have impacted the wizarding population at the time.

Thanks again, Mel


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Review #47, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Bertram's end

7th August 2011:
Did Sirius just refrain from making some sort of comment about Bertram? I think he might have... Goodness I have expected him to have a great line prepared for this moment, something that only he or James would truly have been able to come up with. Then again, I suppose the situation really didn't need any commentary from Sirius or James for that matter, no I think the scene spoke for itself, and in a way, I've always found that difficult as a writer to capture so well done on creating such a vivid scene that I was actually able to perfectly imagine it in my mind!

And yes, I have to agree that it was certainly a very interesting introduction to the map and the cloak! And now I understand why the name Bertram Aubrey was so familiar, all this time I for some reason, assumed him to be an OC, when I first saw the name I couldn't help but wonder why it was so familiar... Now I know. Either way, he deserves what he got, and I think that James being Sirius' moderating factor is a nice touch, as I suppose they really had to reign each other in at times where necessary, they couldn't just run about the castle out of control all the time now could they?

Yet another brilliant chapter, and I really can't help but feel heartbroken for Laura, no matter how much her holding Sirius' hand makes me happy...

To the next chapter!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Yes, he certainly did refrain. And while he might have had a line prepared (though then I'd have to have thought of what it was, hahaha), if he did he would have decided not to use it anyway. She was a bit fragile and wouldn't have taken it very well, I dont' think. :)

And don't worry, you're not the first person who didn't recognise the name Bertram Aubrey right away. I just had a list of things that had to be covered in this story, and the jinxing of Bertram was one of them. Add the plot point of the cheating boyfriend and the two melded together nicely, don't you think?

cheers, Mel


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Review #48, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Exposing the lies

6th August 2011:
I WAS RIGHT! I would have almost used Sirius' line from the previous chapter, but luckily your Author's Note warned me not to, it just would have worked so well. It's nice to see that the Marauder's are looking out for her, even if it's not exactly the best of situations for her to find herself and her boyfriend in, although I have to admit now that there was an element of this is Bertram's personality from the beginning and I guess that's why I was never particularly fond of him being with her, even if I did ignore the earlier warning signs of him potentially acting like this. I almost feel heartbroken for Laura having to have seen this, and you've captured the shocking moment so perfectly in the final line.

I particularly love the effort the Marauder's have clearly gone to in order to uncover this as well, there is something so believable about them doing this in order to protect a friend. It seemed as though their relationship was heading in a direction that was not particularly good, however from all that time ago when they met, I never exactly expected this. Well done on such an amazing cliff-hanger too! I'm not going to stick around writing a long review because I think I'd be just repeating almost what I've already said in earlier reviews and because I just have to find out what happens next, and what Sirius has to say about all this...

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: I'd like to thank you for not using that line, because I've had a few reviews deleted and we all hate it when that happens. But yeah, a lot of people saw that coming. Just not Laura, bless her. :)

And yes, the boys are defiintely looking out for her by this stage. I like to think that their famous loyalty wasn't reserved only for themselves, but for others important to them, and this is a demonstration of that.

cheers, Mel


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Review #49, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff

6th August 2011:
Such interesting developments that have occupied in this chapter! I have to say I'm particularly pleased with the direction of all this Sirius/Laura interaction (particularly the line about him managing to flirt a pair of secateurs out of Sprout) even if she is with... Bertram. I particularly love how you portrayed James as not being entirely without nerves before a Quidditch game, I think it was very much in character, so much weighed upon that game that it was impossible for him not to feel even a tiny bit nervous. I also love the conversation between Bertram and Laura, he's so forceful, I really don't like him all that much any more, no matter how he presented himself around her parents.

I think I know where that conversation between the Marauder's is going, and I can imagine that it means nothing good for Laura sadly. That is if I am right. I only hope that I'm severely wrong... Either way, I really can't leave this on so much of a cliff-hanger and so I will read on to find out whether I am right with my assumption...

Well done on another brilliant chapter!

- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: I'm so pleased you picked up on the James being nervous thing! It stands to reason that, as a normal human being, he wouldn't always be totally confident, and this really sounded believable I thought.

Ah, the secateurs. You know, I'd forgotten about them. He does have a talent with flirting, doesn't he? *grins*

So pleased that you're still enjoying this, it means I have been doing something right! :D

thanks again, Mel


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Review #50, by In The Shadows I DwellHow to tame a Marauder: Making new friends

6th August 2011:
I absolutely adore The Lord of the Rings (almost as much as Harry Potter), so it comes as no real surprise as to one of the many reasons I loved this chapter. I also love how you've decided to handle the issues that arise in Laura's life in a way which is sensitive and not overdone, as I often see in a lot of stories, however this is done very here!

You know what, the more the story progresses, the less I seem to be liking Bertram, and in some ways I think it rings true with the fact that I was never the biggest fan of him to begin with. I particularly liked your description of the Hufflepuff Common Room, it was very unique and you've really given it a life of it's own in terms of how the other Common Room's look.

I'm also glad the girls are making friends with the boys, it seems natural almost as though having been together in the same house and year for six years would eventually draw you together in such a way that a friendship was possible despite their behaviour and I'm really glad this is being allowed to develop at such a natural rate over the course of the story!

Well done on another magnificent chapter (I'm running out of variations of the word amazing now...)
- Ash (InTheShadowsIDwell)
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: It was actually really important to me to try to get the gradual establishment of relationships right,b ecause that's so often how it happens in real life yet so infrequently seen in fanfic. But, for my characters, it was the only way it was going to work, so I'm very pleased that you think it's believable. *beams*

Also glad you liked the Hufflepuff common room. That's the only time we see it but I thought that it was important for that relationship that she did go in there, even if they were at cross purposes. We can thank JKR for the description, I just took it a bit further. :D

thanks again, Mel


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