Reading Reviews From Member: Ilasia
37 Reviews Found

Review #26, by IlasiaOh, Friday: I

2nd July 2010:
First off, I'd like to take the moment to say that I was SO RIGHT. Hopefully you recall my mad squeeing in the cbox over the prospect of a Dom-centric spinoff to Monday, Monday? Yes, well, you said writing her was difficult and I said that you were going to do a brilliant job anyways.

See? I was right! So very, very right!

Your characters are so likeable Jack, it's ridiculous. I love Dom a ridiculous amount in the first place, but you give her enough sarcasm and sass and general awesomeness that I'm practically weeping over the fact that she isn't real and isn't my utterly cool older sister who likes to defeat bad guys on the side. She's an incredibly amusing mixture of clever and sarcastic and I'm just going to stop because I'm going to end up rambling even more so than I already have.

And Harry! I lovelovelove your characterization of him and the interactions between he and Dominique because it's just such good writing, hysterical sarcasm and so much cleverness wrapped up into one.

Favorite Lines:
"Have you seen Lily recently? She's just like you, only smaller and, you know, angrier."
"Oh, rude. I'm your niece!"

First one because AHA! That's actually exactly how I picture Lily - this feisty little thing that will just kill you if you cross her. Second because, well, it's just such a total Dominique thing to say and I love it.

Ugh, this review is terrible - it's not helpful in the least because all I could do was swoon over the loveliness of this. Not that there'd be anything for me to pick out, of course, because you've got that mad talent and I love this so much that I can't get over it.

I've really overused the word "love" in this review, so I'll leave it at AMAZING JOB JACK! I absolutely cannot wait for what you have coming next! ♥

Author's Response: Of course I remember you silly, how could I possibly forget? I'm pretty sure you're still completely wrong though, okay, maybe not completely but DEFINITELY a bit! Anyway, she was difficult at first, did get easier towards the end though.

It's a funnier one that! I honestly thought I'd be the only one to like her when I first created her character, but most people seem to be on my side as well! I mean, she's not a nice person at all! She would be like the most amazing older sister ever! Just like beyond awesome but completely terrifying as well. Am pretty much completely with you on this :P

Harry is... well I'm just glad it works. I kind of just write him how I imagine him, so it's just lucky it works out alright. Those two were fun to write together, played off each other beautifully.

ME TOO! Expect Lily appearances in near-ish future for pretty much exactly that reason.

It's AMAZING! While it might not have much in the way of super mega critique - as far as ego boosts go it's absolutely DOMINATED XD

I'm thinking it will be that Victoire story, but when I decide you shall be the first to know! Thank you so much lovely!

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Review #27, by IlasiaIV: 3. The Great Purging

22nd June 2010:
Rita! Dunno if you recall my squee-ing about the update in the cbox, but I'm here to rave about your talent now!

This chapter only reinforces all the reasons I fell in love with this fic! The tension, the suspense, the mystery behind it all is just completely addicting and your wonderful characters just make me want to never stop reading! Lend me some skill, won't you?

Anywho, absolutely loved this chapter and can't wait for the next one!


Author's Response: Zinny! Thanks so much for the review! I'm so glad you've kept with the story despite the long lag it took to update it XD I really appreciate your loyalty and am over the moon because of it!

Update coming soon XD Again, thanks for the review! ILY darling!

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Review #28, by IlasiaSkyline: what is love and love is what?

5th April 2010:

It's really quite horrible on my part that I've yet to review anything of course, though I've must have read your stuff a billion times over and loved it every single time. XD But anywho, I'm here to review this and - as I said in the cbox - raveraverave about your descriptions and generally amazing talents!

First off - I do believe I agree with some others in that I really enjoyed reading it from bottom to top! Top to bottom was lovely of course, but I really did love reading Teddy's Go! as a profound, last line of dialogue. I also really enjoyed the ambiguity we're left with at the end, as it really allows us to think about the substance behind Rose and Teddy's relationship without giving us all the answers to why he's telling her to go, etcetera.

There is eternal promise that shines through her, breathable sunshine, the sky of the sky, the wings of wings, the springs of springs. She is the light of the light, she is what sleeping butterflies dream of and what songbirds sing of. She dreams of angels and sinners, of moons born over rice paddies, of river lilies, of children with bright blue eyes. She dreams of the place where the skies and treetops which yearn for the heavens finally meet.
Yes, I quoted the entire thing because this is pure example of FLOATY, FLOATY LOVELINESS that I wish I could somehow write. There was some serious swooning going on whilst I was reading this part, Celeste, and I thoroughly wish that you could lend me some of your insane description talent? It's floaty and it flows and it's just so indescribable in its delicate sort of quality...I'm honestly speechless. :)

Alright, so this review was utterly unhelpful because all I did was squeal about how beautiful this was and how amazing you are as well. :P BUT IT'S TRUE, SO PFFT!

Floaty and complete ♥!



Author's Response: Zinny, I'm so, so sorry for the absolutely unreal wait on the response to this review!

I liked the bottom to top more as well, though for different reasons. XD I'm a sucker for angstier, more unhappy endings compared to the fluffier ending the first time around.

LIES. YOU WRITE ME LIES. I'm still not sure how that constitutes as anything more than over-saturated imagery, much less floatiness. It isn't that hard to write and it's a level I'm sure you've already surpassed. (I've yet to read your stuff, but I WILL ASAP.)

This was an absolutely lovely review, Zinny! I'm totally stunned! Thank you, thank you, thank you! ♥

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Review #29, by IlasiaMonday, Monday: Stand By Me

3rd April 2010:
I may have squealed in excitement when I saw the update. You know. Maybe.

Righto - so first off, I've got to say it. If this random, casual bar-leaning girl so even thinks about interrupting the development of Annah/Louis I will personally transport (by some magical means, I'm sure) into this fic and swat her across the face.

Yes, Jack. That's how much I want - need, actually - Annah/Louis to happen. I think it was the little exchange of theirs before the dancing took place that just called for a giant Aw! and vanishing of any Annah/Louis doubts on my part.

Sam's leaving. :( Dunno if this was intentional or not, but the simplicity of "I'm going to miss you" was really what struck me - almost like so much was said in those five little words, you know?

That's all I really have to say about that one.

Favorite Line: Dominique slipped her most charming smile on, "Well, the good thing about being an Auror is that I most definitely can. So, how about you don't touch my brother, and you get to stay employed?"
Huzzah for brother sister moments of love!

All in all, definitely worth the wait. :) Your characters are superb, style completely lovely and I shall be waiting in anticipation for what you've got coming next!

- Zinny

Author's Response: Zinny, you are OFFICIALLY the cutest ever!

Umm, not saying! Although, she does seem the type to doesn't she? Far too casual and lean-y. Ahahaha you'll like her though! Actually I haven't decided if you're meant to like her or not yet. Will get back to you on that :P

Yay yay yay for Annah/Louis! Am loving how everyone is now jumping off Sam/Louis. Also greatly amuses me that both times its the girl first :P

:( Is true. But had to happen. It rather was actually [/ego] Seriously though, no one actually ever monologues or discourses to their friends - a lot of people really aren't that comfortable expressing feelings or similar. Am I making any sense at all, or just rambling insanely?

I LOVE DOMINIQUE. I'm pretty much with you on that matter :P

Had to put that sort of thing in there somewhere! She's so horrible to him most of the time, had to show that she's really ridiculously protective of him as well.

-Hides- You are an absolute angel! Will start it today!
Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #30, by IlasiaPirates of Gryffindor Tower: A Cake Must Be Baked

29th January 2010:
Jack, you've done it again! I envy how you can write humor so well, and come up with these oh-so fantastic lines.

Like these:

"Do you really think this wise bo - girl? Crossing bla - wands with a pi - witch?"

"Molly," hisses Louis, "you can't steal a Hogwarts House Elf!"

Sheer genius, really! And ever since reading AGS and MM, I've had your!Louis as the Louis I envision in every single fic I read. xD That's what your insanely amazing characterization does. So basically, I was laughing ridiculously at the Molly-Louis interaction here because they're both just fantastic!

I loved it to pieces, really, Jack. And now I have pirates on the brain...maybe I'll get around to FINALLY watching PoTC. xD And then people will stop nagging me about how it's the best thing since Harry Potter.

Anywho, 10/10 of course and I can't wait to see what you come up with next! ^_^


Author's Response: Hey Zinny! Naww thank you so much, you're far too kind!
Sorry it's taken me a couple of days to reply to this by the way, life rather caught up with me.

Oh really? That's like O.o. I really am glad I did such a job with him though, this is a slightly different Louis and Molly from that - although they are quite similar aren't they?

Oh DO! This will be much funnier (theoretically) if you have. Do steal/make fun of many of the lines and etc of it.

Next is Ch.6 of MM and a one-shot about a flying horse breeder who tried to combine Quidditch and said flying horses XD

Thanks so much for the lovely review!

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Review #31, by IlasiaDead Woman: Dead Woman

21st November 2009:
Oh my gosh, Hafsa, really? D:
You not only make amazing graphics but you just have to go ahead and write wonderful stories too? So unfair.

But really, I loved this so much that it's crazy!
Even if I didn't love Bellatrix to pieces, the language and the emotion and the beautiful writing would still be enough.

Words cannot say, of course, how much I really do love this, and how much my attempt at a Bella fic pales in comparison. XD

So I'll stop my ranting here: fanastic job, Hafsa, favorite most definitely. :)

Author's Response: thank you so much! -glomps- i loved yours, too!

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Review #32, by IlasiaFrom Riddle to Dark Lord: 12 Grimmauld Place

20th November 2009:
Here I am for your last requested review!

Now, the first thing I noticed is the formatting of the chapter. You wouldn't think that placement would be such a fuss, but it really does help the reader continue with the story. Your paragraphs are good lengths again, kudos for that, but there are hardly any spaces in between the paragraphs. It would just be a lot easier to read if there was at least one space (two presses of the ENTER button) between each paragraph.

Alright, I've found more sentence structure issues (commas, periods, run-ons, etc.) but I've already pestered you enough about those! Plus, you've said that you and your Beta are working on them, so I'll not be saying anything more on the subject.

Actually, I quite enjoyed this chapter. I definitely think that it is my favorite out of all of the ones I have read so far. It also shows major improvement from the last two chapters. I especially enjoyed the details and plot.

Your plot, the incorporation with the necklace, is actually riveting, only enhanced by your excellent allusion into the world of Greek mythology. Being a major Greek mythology buff myself, I really enjoyed the background information you gave in the introduction of the locket. It gives the reader a sense of what is going on, which I assume will be vital for the next chapters.

Now, one bit of confusion I'm a tad stuck on is Pollux Black. Who exactly, not that this need be said in the story, is he within the Black family? As in, whose father/brother/etc? His characterization is good though, exactly how I'd picture a Black to be: firm, serious but dependent on beneficial connections.

Also, I would have thought that Mr. Burke would have been a bit more in awe of Tom after he found out that he was a Gaunt. Is Salazar Slytherin not the figure whom all Death Eaters and Voldemort himself idolize? I would have assumed that Mr. Burke would make a rather big scene over the entire Slytherin-relation. Or perhaps he really is in shock and is just masking it? Just a touch of curiosity.

All in all, this chapter was definitely fun to read and review. I'm sure you'll be getting more reviews from me in the future, as I'm looking forward to continuing on in the story! I hope these reviews have helped you a little bit!

Keep up the good work,
- Ilasia

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your reviews! They were so amazingly helpful and in-depth and honest!

Formatting- I will keep a note of that! Thanks heaps! I will fix that up when I edit the chapter, thanks for the tip!

Chapter- I think this is my favourite chapter too to be honest. I'm glad you liked it too! I LOVE Greek Mythology, and since Caracatus is a Greek name, I decided some Greek inspired magic (and there is oh so much to choose from!) was in order. I wanted something pure-bloodish (not a word I know haha) to highlight what sort of objects Mr Burke would like the most, in the story he is a HUGE fan of Greek Mythology- hence his daughter's name- Pandora, and so this necklace was perfect!
It took a lot of research but I hope the authenticity of that made it worth it! Thank you so much for commenting on that part, its a little proud piece of the chapter for me! :-)

Pollux Black is the grand-father of Sirius and Regelus, and the three Black Sister's, I had the entire Black family tree when I went searching for who it would be living in 12 Grimmauld Place, comparing age's and such. I have numerous pages of timelines, ages, names, characters that were around at this time in Tom's life, I wanted to make it as authentic to JK Rowling's world as possible with the information provided! :-)

The Gaunt issue- Mr Burke is in shock, he thinks that Tom means that his mother's blood line somewhere in the past there was a Gaunt. So he is impressed but as you will find out in later chapters, Mr Burke is not in the slightest concerned with purity of blood, unless it affects his work and his buisness. He is merely a buisnessman, money is his sole focus so whilst the name is helpful to get trust and extra buisness, that is as far as his admiration goes. He prefers to test people and find out their character first. It is one of the reasons his daughter is the way she is- she wants to be something she is not. The Burke Family are not a rich family by nature, they are buisness men and having a buisness is hardly a suitable source of income.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it, I have another chapter in the queue at the moment, when it has been validated I will come and re-request so that there are two chapters for you to read.

Again I cannot thank you enough for all the amazing feedback you have given me! You're an absolute legend!

Oh and before I forget- the fact that Tom is a Gaunt on his mother's side is used later on in the story, I won't say too much other than 'look how far the great bloodlines have fallen' ;-)

Again thank you so much, you're feedback has been so important and vital and will make a HUGE difference in my story.

It's given me confidence and taught me a lot as well in terms of grammer and formatting and the like! :-)

Thank you so very much,
Hope you are well,

P.S- Sorry I blabber so much in my responses, but I like trying to answer and address all the elements you've commented on and I get carried away :-P

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Review #33, by IlasiaFrom Riddle to Dark Lord: Borgin and Burke's

19th November 2009:
Here to review your second chapter!

I must say, the look of this chapter pleases me a lot more. I see that you've cut down on the lengthy paragraphs, and have separated your phrases a bit more. This just gives the story a lot better flow, and it is easier for the eye to move along from sentence to sentence.

However, I'm going to have to make more comments on your sentence structure. It is true that commas are used when you want to separate two individual thoughts from one another, but there are often times when a period would be much more appropriate. For example, your sentence: "Tom strolled down Diagon Alley nervously on the 2nd of December, clasped in his hands his school transcript and recommendations from his teachers, his defeat at the job interview for the teaching position had really put Tom out, and now he felt butterflies unleashed in his stomach that he could not believe, they were so bad that he could not keep down any food, and thus was arriving at his interview on an empty stomach." is not only very long, and somewhat of a run-on, but it can be cut down quite a lot. You could end the sentence after "from his teachers," then start with a new sentence at "clasped."

With that being said, I suggest going through your chapters and seeing if you can cut down on the length of the sentences, and omit commas for periods. Doing so would greatly help the overall flow of the story, and it would help comprehension of the events taking place as well.

One of my major concerns with the characterization of Tom is that his thoughts seem to be contradicting everything we know about him. Perhaps this was intentional, to show a lighter side to Riddle, but his thinking that working for Mr. Burke was an underhanded thing threw me off a bit. I would think Tom Riddle wouldn't mind in the least if it were an underhanded job, so long as he was benefited in the end.

Otherwise, I think the plot is moving along nicely. You close each chapter quite well, with the setup for the next series of events that will occur. It keeps the reader interested in the story, and leaves them a bit curious as to what comes next.

There was significant improvement in this chapter! Keep working hard!

Off to review chapter three,
- Ilasia

Author's Response: Thank you for this awesome response.

I'm glad the paragraphing was better! I'll keep in mind everything you have said when I go through and edit these chapters- shorter sentences! I'm a shocker for run-on's so I will go through these and make sure they are much much shorter. That said I'm assuming that a period is a full-stop?

Characterisation wise- I'm not sure that I understand the 'under-handed' comment, what exactly does under-handed mean?
Tom does not mind at all that what he has to do is less than ethical and moral, in fact he likes the challenge! Perhaps I have not clarified this properly, I will go back and have a look at the section and see if I can make it more clear.

Tom in these earlier chapters, is meant to be not as evil and hell-bent on domination as the Voldemort we know, he is just an 18 year old boy, he has performed evil magic and seperated his soul indeed, but he has not lost himself fully to the darkest arts that he will discover later on.
I want him to be sly, cunning, suave and smooth, with a hint of narcissim and a thirst for control, his ideas of domination are starting to form, however; they are not fully developed.

Perhaps that answers your query? Sorry if it does not :S

Thank you on your complements on the plot, and chapter events, keeping reader interest is a definite positive!

I'm also glad that there was a lot of improvement in this chapter! I will still go back and edit out all the errors and fix up the sentences, thank you so much for pointing them out to me!

Hope you are enjoying this,
Thanks heaps!

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Review #34, by IlasiaFrom Riddle to Dark Lord: A Career After School

19th November 2009:
Hi there, Ilasia here with your requested review!

Now, I must tell you beforehand that I almost never read Tom Riddle-centric fics, and so reading this was somewhat of a leap for me. Despite how much I may like your story, I don't think I'll ever be a fan of Tom.

The first thing that really stood out to me - as it's rather evident in your first paragraph - is that you're mixing up your tenses a bit. For instance, your sentence: "He was currently eighteen years old, and after graduating near the top of his class from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was searching for a job." sounds rather confusing and it's pretty difficult to follow. In using the word currently you're implying that you're using the present tense, but using the word was implies that your using past tense - so there's an example of that. I suggest perhaps finding a Beta reader who can just check your tenses for you before you submit.

Otherwise, your grammar has some fairly evident flaws. You need some commas inserted here and there, a few missing words and a bit of work on sentence structure, but it's nothing that can't be fixed. I'm sure a Beta can assist you with that as well! Also, just a note: large paragraphs after one another are somewhat of an eyesore, and slightly intimidating to the reader. I suggest breaking up the chunks of text into smaller sections, as it makes it easier on the eyes - perhaps adding in some dialogue just to break up the narration would be useful as well!

Squee! I've got to admit that I fibbed a little bit. I am a fan of Tom when he' interacting with McGonagall. Gosh, I wish a relationship between them was canon. That being said, I really enjoyed the introduction of Minerva into the story, and I can't wait to see what goes on between those two.

Hmmm, interesting choice, putting a rather vital event in the beginning of the story. Tom's not getting the teaching job is a fairly important occurrence, and if that's just at the beginning of the story, then I can't wait to see what other surprises you have for us in the rest of the story. Also, good job setting up a scene for the next chapters - by this I mean Tom's prospective job at B&B's. I'm sure there's going to be some interesting stuff going on there as well.

Interesting so far, can't wait to read more!
- Ilasia

Author's Response: Thank you very much for you're review.
Grammer- yes grammer is not my strong point, and with the new system stories must be published before BETA's, but do not fear, my wonderful BETA AngelEyez is currently reading and BETA'ring (word?) the story for me.

Tom- Ahh, I apologise, if you are not a fan of Tom (and I understand why you wouldn't be hee hee) I would not have requested you for this story!

Tom-McGonagall- (guilty look from author here) yeah, I'm actually pretty sure that is the last part of McGonagall in this story, I'll just be honest straight up, Tom and McGonagall for me, just does not cut it, you'll see Tom's only 'relationship' (if it can be called that) in this story is anything but real feelings or love but rather power lust, and control from him, and the thrill of doing somethin wrong from her, sorry! I'm trying to stay organic to the character and to me, Tom and a REAL relationship just would not happen... But that's what this fanfic world is for, everyone has different opinions and ideas! That's what makes it so fun to read everything!

Sequence- Yes I decided to start after school, we all have a vague idea about what happens at school, and the thought of writing about him at school was not what I wanted to do, I wanted to highlight the few human emotions that he has from the very start and really focus on his transformation, he loved Hogwarts, it is perhaps, apart from power, immortality and himself, the only thing that I believe he ever loved, and being turned away not once but twice to teach there? I believe that was vital in sending him over the edge.

So yes, it will begin with a few chapters of him 'breaking into' the pureblood world of aristocracy, Burke's are just the bottom of the social triangle as they work, he's goin to be dealin with Black's, Lestrange's, Malfoy's, and many more families in this story!

Hope that answered some of your questions! And, if the future chapter is not your thing, please don't feel pressured to continue reading, I'm not offended at all! Tom is a very unique and aqquired taste and I do not mind at all if you get through the next chapter and decide not to read on!

Despite that, I'm glad that you are finding it interesting so far! This story was started, some years ago I must admit, with the next few chapters being much more recent to this one, so I think my grammar improves as they go on... Or at least I hope they do :S

Thank you so very much for such an extensive and thorough review! It has points to improve! These are the reviews that I LOVE, because they help me grow as an author.

When I recieve the chapter back from my BETA I will make sure that the things that you have mentioned are altered as well, thank you so much for pointing them all out.

Thank you so very much!
Look forward to hearing from you again.

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Review #35, by IlasiaHopeless...: Bridesmaid

11th November 2009:
Hiya - I thought I'd return the favor of leaving a lovely review, and boy!, am I so glad I did. This was an excellent read.

"She admitted, she really, really shouldn't have kneed him in the family jewels." Let me start with this. My reaction?: HAHAHAHA. Such a perfect line, I could hardly contain myself.

And gosh, your characterization is simply superb. Scorpius is just as I'd imagined him to be...having quite the ego but not overly so. Albus, classically good-hearted but mischievous all the same. Rose - my favorite so far, I think - studious and a hardworker but not "no time for fun" like her mother seemed to be. Love all of their personalities so far, I can't wait to see more of them!

Overall, 10/10! I loved it!
Sincerely, Zinny

Author's Response: Wow!
Aha...the family jewels line =] My family tend to say that phrasing to avoid any awkwardness lol so it just sneaked its way into this
And for some reason, I always saw Rose as the hit and think of the consequences later kind of girl
I'm so glad you like their characterisation, I try to get my characters as life like as possible so you liking makes me extremely happy =]
Sorry for the overuse of smileys, it's a habit I can't kick
Thank you so so so so much for the wonderful review, this well and truly made my night, I was that happy I accidentally knocked my cup of tea over!
Thanks! =]

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Review #36, by IlasiaSolar Ice: SOLARICE

30th October 2009:
This was simply...stunning. It's almost indescribable, but I'll do my best. Absolutely breathtaking really, I don't think I'm able to think coherently just yet. Beware of a really repetitive and rather unhelpful review, because I'm just flabbergasted.

First off, you somehow managed to keep cold, reserved Severus Snape in character for this entire peace, even when he had to be remorseful. How did you do that?! It's hard to find an In-Character Snape anyway, let alone one in a situation where he would show empathy. I really commend you on that.

The plot, too, is so refreshing. So original, kudos for that, and yet your writing was so descriptive and believable that I'd have no problem believing this was Canon. Fantastic job.

And the end...I just...can't form the right words, you know? It was heart-wrenching, really. So close to telling him what was going on with her, his noticing the change in her, her new found interest in poisons that got him thinking. It all seemed intertwined so perfectly, I just can't say enough.

Overall? Beautiful.
I just can't get over it!

Favoriting this,

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Review #37, by IlasiaMonday, Monday: Sweet Disposition

10th October 2009:
Lovelovelove Louis work life. It's so official and professional, which clashes quite hysterically with his personality. I loved seeing young, goofball Louis showing his competence to a group of detail-hungry reporters. Lovely job on that one, I must say!

DOMINIQUE. IS. AMAZING! [Insert obscene amount of exclamation points here, please.] But really. She's hysterical, and so bold, and stubborn and exactly how I envision her, and how I try to write her in some of my lighter stuff. Quite the amusing older sister to Lou, I'd like to point out, and she just fits into the story so very, very well.

Louis. Speechless.

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much! I'm so happy that that's all coming across. The point of all that was to show that despite appearances (+ interactions with Dom etc,) he really is actually quite capable.

ISN'T SHE! I probably shouldn't say that about someone I've written should I? But... yeah, everything you said really. She's come out exactly as I meant her to so I really am happy about that XD I'm so glad that's how you envision her, for some reason it just makes me really happy.

Ahh Louis. Good to know he's still doing his whole lovable thing.

Thank you so much for reviewing, I'll try and get the next chapter up quick-snap!

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