I don't normally read Fred/OC stories, which makes me a bit hypocritical as I've been known to write a few of them myself, but I clicked on this one and it's good. I saw that it was an updated repost from another site, so I went looking and found your original, and WOW! The original was good in it's own right, but I'm amazed at how well you've rewritten things. This version is so descriptive and pulls people right into the action. I can't wait to see what you do with the rest of and, as I mentioned, already good story!
Keep writing! You are very talented! Hope to seen more chapters soon!
-Farmgirl Report Review
So, as a general rule, I don't read many "After Fred Dies" fics. I cried enough the first time it happened; I don't like to relive it over and over again. And I just prefer my twins both alive and making mischief.
I'm glad I made an exception for this story, however, as it was beautifully if heatbreakingly, written.
There's just something that breaks my heart each time I think of the Weasleys all going on, living life, moving forward, and Fred...not. That is exactly the feeling you captured in this story. I know they would learn to go on with life - be happy, learn to live again...but as you expressed so well, it would never be the same again. Not exactly.
You have very descriptive writing with no wasted words. I like that. It's something I struggle with in my own writing and it always makes me rather jealous to find writers who can say things so beautifully without padding in a bunch of extra fluff that's not needed.
Great fic. Congratulations, you should be very proud of it.
Now, please excuse me while I go look for some tissues and have a real cry over Fred...AGAIN.
P.S. I'm sorry this review is so short. Don't take it as a reflection of my reaction to your story, which was supurb. It was just a really, really long day and I'm having trouble stringing two coherent words together at the moment.Author's Response: Hi there my dear! I am so happy that you made an exception, this review was an awesome way to wake up!
Haha I know the feeling about having trouble stringing words together, and this review was perfect, thank you so much for stopping by ♥
Jami Report Review
Back again to try and catch up on another review I owe you for wonderful stories! At this rate, I might run out of things from you to read by New Years, LOL!
Okay, review now:
Loved the age old Weasley dilema of food or sleep. I think I must be a Weasley, hehehehe. Although, since sleep usually wins for me, maybe not.
Harry, dear, if Ginny is doing the laundry once in a while, then she IS inspecting your underwear. Just thought I should let you know that...
Counting broomsticks. hehehehe Watch out, when she starts naming the Egyptian Dynasties - backwards - you might want to have a plan B.
Bryce Galloway! Yeah! He always makes me laugh! And if figures he's be a "buisness associate" of George's. *shakes head* Snickering at the Peeves and Mundugus comment.
You know, I still not sure how, with half of Wizarding britian gaining entrance to the caslte by it on the night of the battle, that passageway is still a secret...
Meanwhile, across town, Ron is getting the same from Hermione. Do they PLAN these things? "Tweet" in the morning to make sure they both have their lectures planned out?
Hm.Leaky Takeout. I'm not sure that sounds appetizing.
And Ron counts cholate frogs, huh? Must be a Weasley thing. You should tell him to try sheep. I hear the Serta Sheep have been out of work a lot lately. They'd probably give him a pretty good deal.
(I know I'm giving a sort of odd review this time, but I do need you to know how wonderful I think this writing is...fitting the two scenes together to nicely, and showing they are WAY more alike than they would probably like to admit. )
Ah Bill. Always like it when he turns up in your stories, even if only in reference.
Hehehehe, and when do your plans ever work? (Loved that little bit in the last movie, btw, when they mentioned that about their plans.)
George! *big grin* Always glad when he shows up! (Only thing better would be both of them.Silly Verse Meld is calling you, can't you hear it? Like a gentle twoxfour upside the head.)
Classic McGonagall! And loved how Ron was instantly back in student mode. hehehehe
Well, Ron, I'm sure Luna isn't too worried about you two, if that would help. So at least ONE witch in the country isn't planning your funerals. Hehehehehe
Good cop, bad cop - LOL. You've been letting Ron and Harry watch your stash of Dragnet, haven't you. Are you sure that's wise?
I wonder if they sell extensions for Invisibility Cloaks for when you get too tall. Would be helpful I'm sure.
Aw, shucks. You didn't have to give me a shout out! Thanks though.
Another great chapter! Your characters are so good and spot on that I forget I'm reading and feel like I'm there.
Amazing!Author's Response: Ok. This review totally cracked me up! Farmgirl, stay away from the butterbeer when you're reviewing! ROFL!
The fact you're carefree with this review just shows me how much fun you're having with the story, and that's really a great thing!
Really glad you liked all the little stuff I threw in here, McG's tardiness comment, Bryce coming back. Your Luna Comment was awesome! Egyptian Dynasties backwards? I may have to use that in my next fic!
This was just a blast to read.
And, of COURSE you deserve that shout out. Duh!
Thanks sis! Really enjoying getting these reviews from you
Eldy Report Review
I've decided that re-reading your stuff is more fun than reading it the first time! And yes, I'm finally getting you another one of those reviews that I owe you. Can you believe it? Now, unlike the last one, I really have read this story before, and I loved it then. Think I love it even more now.
I was sitting here as I was reading, marveling at your creativity. You always manage to write the same characters, in the same "verse" but each story is incredibly different. And I don't just mean the plot. You've had a story with alternate realities. You have stories with buddy-cop al la the wizarding world plots. You've AK'ed Christmas lights. You've had Harry converse with Death. One story had the last sentence of one section be concluded in the next. And now this one, jumping around in the story. I love it. You really are a masterful writer!
And this reminded me of the Princess Bride - like we are getting the story read to us, and skipping around (only not skipping the kissing parts, I'm betting, LOL.) Love it.
Harry and Ron are just so funny. They are so busted, and they know it, and yet they still try... hehehehehe. Hermione is going to implant muggle tracking devises in them before you finish Crusadeverse, mark my words! Or kill them. Whichever comes first.
Hope that building in Hogsmeade had good insurance...and worried about Seamus.
Wonderful writing, as always! Great way to spend some of my evening re-reading this!Author's Response: So psyched to get a review from you for this story! Thanks so much. And WAY too much praise for my writing here! But I'll be more than happy to bask in it ;)
I like chopping stories up starting in the middle, or the end and jumping to the beginning. And I just couldn't help but throw in Ginny's line "I hate when you start stories in the middle." And Hermione's "Start at the beginning! Like normal people!" Just couldn't help myself.
Princess Bride! Loved that movie - flattered by the comparison too. And, no, we don't skip the kissing. LOL!
Yep, Harry and Ron are SOOO busted; but, you'll recall that Ron manages to get them off the hook.
Muggle tracking device? Hmmm...
Thanks so much for the great review!
Eldy Report Review
Bro - I've been trying to write a review to this fic for hours, but I just can't! First I was laughing so hard I was crying and couldn't see the screen, and now, after reading it for like the fourth time I just can't write a review that does this story justice! I...I don't know what to say, but I guess I'll try to do my best.
First of all, I am beyond delighted with my present! This story...I haven't laughed this hard at a Harry Potter story since reading the books themselves! This is, hands down, my favorite HP fic ever!! It was perfect! So, so, so many things I loved to pieces! I want to mention them all, but there's just too many! I don't even know where to start! (another reason I've been trying to write this review all night - how do you sum up a masterpiece like this in one little bitsy review? Everytime I try to read it again to get my review ready, I just end up laughing my head off, not writing a review!)
It's totally and completely your fault if I have to call in to work sick tomorrow because I laughed so hard I made myself sick!
Eldy, you AMAZE me! Completely! I always knew you could write humor - everything you write has humor in it, but this was something else. I think it's just the way you did it, so natural. They were just a family, acting like families do, and that's why it worked - why it was so funny. You didn't try too hard. And I loved it, absolutly loved it.
Wow, this review is very rambly.sorry! But I can't help it! I can't focus - to much to say before I forget it, or start laughing again.
Can you forget this Crusadeverse business and write Sillyverse stuff all the time? *bats eyes* Okay, so I don't really mean that, because I love Crusadeverse...but can't you find a way to meld the two? You write the twins better than anyone! They are so natural and real and I love reading them, so you've got to do it more often! PLEASE?!?!?!?!
Harry and Hermione were incredible. I love the brother/sister relationship you have going between the too, and I always KNEW that Hermione had the brain and skills to one-up the twins if she could just get over that rule-keeping stage. And Harry's no slouch at rebellion himself.
Dragon-tipping - YOU HAVE TO WRITE THAT STORY!!! Yes, that was in caps on purpose, to emphaze my strong feelings on the matter. It will be epic! Dragonsized, if I dare say so!
I love how you keep referenceing all these little things that make them perfectly in character and seem real - last year's lights and Hermione finally telling Harry exactly who fixed them, Molly and Ginny's battles (LOL), Fred trying to trick Hermione with which twin he is, SPEW (and HTCWYW is brilliant)...
And the Mini Quidditch Pitch - INSANELY BRILLANT!
And MMM instead of WWW, with the evening gowns. I think that's about the time that I had to stop reading for a bit because of eminient danger of choking and no one around to do the heimlich if I needed it! Puce - PUCE! Such a George thing to say. Again, you do know your twins!
Carol of the Bells IS a freaky song. Especially when played by 5th graders on string instruments. Poor Ron - but the antlers - CLASSIC! (Rondeer - ROFLOL!)
My favorite moment, though? Bill, Charlie, and Percy with the bet and Percy scribling furiously, with Molly putting five on Ginny to the accompainment of squeals from overhead.
Eldy, I don't know how you do it, top the story from the year before, but you ALWAYS do it! I loved it! And I hope this review made even an inkling of sense and told you how much I loved it!
And now, I'm gonna go read it again! WHE!
Infinity/10 Report Review
So, I have a confession to make. I'm very ashamed of this confession, but it needs to be said - I hadn't ever read this tale until tonight. *Hangs head* I'm SO sorry bro, but I just got so bogged down and while I tried really hard to keep up with the wonderful tales you were spinning out, somehow this one slipped through the cracks!! When you asked me while beta-ing if that last part of chapter 10, with Mr. Weasley and Harry, was inspired by this story, I felt too bad to tell you I hadn't had time to read it yet. (And now you probably hate me...but if you don't completly despise me, I will continue with a review now.)
Wow. What a story! I think I remember asking you once why Hermione kept the wand, and you said you didn't know yet. I'm SO glad you figured it out as this as such a wonderful, heat-wrenching and yet heart-warming story! I loved every bit of it. And it was SO much fun to read Eldy stories again!
Some of my favorites:
Molly feeling like Bellatrix was still hurting her children from beyond the grave, and wanting to dig her up and kill her again - VERY powerful moment! Took my breath away.
The cup of tea - so English, hehehehe. The world is ending, but let's have tea and it will be better. LOVED it!
For some reason the mention of Arthur taking Ginny to see the game for her 17th birthday just hit me, reminding me again of how young they all really are. Kids. Just kids! Like the ones I teach everyday. I know these are fictional characters, and yet I still can't help looking at the faces of my juniors and seniors sometimes and thinking of them out having to save the world. Puts things into perspective sometimes.
Fred - *sniffles loudly* Just.just.you know.
I LOVED the way you had Molly draw out what was really bothering Hermione. Mentioning Ollivanders, working her through admiting why she hadn't got a new wand yet, to her admitting she was worried she was like Bellatrix. BRILLIANT! You're ability to tie in a plot and make everything fit so naturally amazes me! You are truly a great writer!
The thought of Hermione raising Weasleys someday made me smile. :)
Bro, you're the best! I mean that! No one can write like you, spill emotion and action and love and family and politics onto the page and have them live like you do! Thanks so much for sharing. And for putting up with an unorganized, scatterbrained, tardy and always behind little sister.
100/10Author's Response: Farmgirl!! I'm so happy you got to read this. Absolutely no worries that you didn't get to it till now. Is there anyone out here in Potterdom who knows how hard things have been for you better than me? No apologies necessary!
It took A LONG time to figure out why Hermione kept the wand. Then I remembered what she said to Ron in Crusade about it: "It's my wand now, Ronald. I keep it as a reminder and a warning and don't change the subject!"
Then it hit me that Hermione's thinking in this regard had to come from somewhere. Then I remembered that I'd built in a recurring nightmare for Hermione in "Battle of the Pitch," that involved Greyback and it occurred to me, what would happen to Hr if she had to suffer through this nightmare without Ron there to comfort her? I got the searing image of Molly holding her and soothing her. The rest fell into place.
The line about Molly digging Bella up and killing her all over again was especially for you! Really glad you liked it!
They ARE young - but they've aged so much. War does that, turns kids into the elderly. I've tried to catch that in all my tales.
I really am floored by all the praise here. I can't thank you enough. You're the best!
P.S. I tweaked Crusade just a bit with the scene when Ron finally asks about Hermione keeping the wand. Might be worth re reading chapter 2 of Crusade after you read Adventures of Reckless Git and Danger Ponce and Tipping Point, again.
Bro, I sorta hate you right now, just so you know. I really, really don't like crying before I go to bed. It makes my eyes red and puffy and my nose run and just isn't fun at all. But thanks to you and this incredibly emotional epilogue that's what I'm doing at the moment.
And yes, it's all your fault.
I know I've read this before. Heck, I've read this epilogue a dozen times, and it still gets me every time, like a knife to the heart. Yes, I know 'Mione's going to be okay, and I'm so glad she's finally home at the Burrow and has Ronnie and the coming twins to keep her from being alone, but...but...you still killed off all my beloved Weasleys! Thinking of the Burrow with only the echos and memories of all those joyful voice breaks my heart. *sighs*
See, what you do? You're writing is so good you inspire real tears, and way too much inner turmoil and angst over imaginary people! Darn you, Eldy, and your litterary skill!
Your little sis *who is going off to find a new box of tissues*
P.S. I am oh so aware that I am behind in reading and reviewing your brilliant Crusade tales, something I hope to rectify in the coming weeks. And as for this "Last Crusade" tale you speak of, please oh please oh please tell me you aren't hinting that your fanfic days are coming to a close?Author's Response: Dearest little sis,
No higher praise could be offered.But, before I let my head swell too much, I must point out that Siledubghlase (aka ghostchicken, aka sheila) was the brilliant force behind this amazing epilogue.
I'd always wanted Crusade to end on Harry's "I'm in love" line. But when Sheila whipped up this epilogue, I knew it HAD to go in the tale. Problem was, it was too short by about 150 words to stand on its own. I finally brought myself to edit it a bit today so it would be long enough to be its own chapter,after I made sure it would be ToS-kosher to split it off.Now, I suppose it has a little extra punch-and for that,I do apologize.But just a little ;)
The other thing that absolutely positively needed doing was an updated Author's Note. There were loads of reviewers that weren't mentioned in the old one and many more people who needed a proper thanks. And, most importantly, you, Mel, PP, WYHO and Co. needed proper recognition. I had to put that right, too.
Now, on a brighter note, never forget that the Grangers move into the Burrow too. All will be well for 'Mione. I promise!
As for a "fanfic farewell," I wouldn't be too concerned about me signing off. Right now, I'm merely contemplating an end to the Crusadiverse, not an end to writing. But I am concerned over the "last installment" in this series. That will be a very tricky piece of work to write well. Not really sure how I'm gonna pull that off.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on Tales from the Crusadiverse. But don't rush it! I know RL is still crazy for you. No worries little sis!
P.S. I'm really really pleased that it was you who left the first review for this new chapter! Report Review
Girl, you are amazing.
Seriuosly, I don't know how to say this so that you stop being so humble and actually believe I mean it.
Because this deserves the praise. You have created an OC that is interesting, captivating, likable! I want to know what happens and how she is!
And, you made me cry - which really isn't very nice, just so you know.
You twins are incredible. I'm jealous. Very jealous. And I'm not sure I will ever be able to write an OC after reading this, because mine will always fall short.
*applauds* WELL DONE!
Now, more. :)Author's Response: *dies* My goodness, Jill, you're seriously too nice to me. THANK YOU! :-D
Hahaha Be careful what you wish for - you're gonna give me a big head or something in exchange for my humble demeanor. ;-)
I'm so glad you you like Jo. You know how much I value your opinion, especially when the twins are involved! It's beyond amazing to hear how much you liked both Jo as a character and my portrayal of the twins. It took me forever to feel anywhere near secure about writing them, but your seal of approval is better than hearing it from anyone else - seeing as you are the expert! :-p
*cough* I'm sorry I made you cry... BUT I have to say that I'm extremely flattered that my writing effected you enough to actually bring tears to your eyes. So thank you for that. I'm incredibly flattered. :-)
Lastly, girl, having read SO much of your own work, I know how incredible you are, so don't you dare not write because of me! Believe me, once it's down on paper, everyone will be falling in love with anything you write.
*bows* THANKS AGAIN!
And more, yes! Hahaha Well, as you now, I'm finally starting chapter 3 again and actually making progress (thank Nano)! So this time, it really should be out soon! *crosses fingers*
You're the best. Report Review
I honestly don't know how to write this review right now. I don't know how to tell you how this story affected me without delving into things so personal I'm not sure I'm ready to share them yet.
I started this story because it was about the twins. I love them and stories about them are so rare. I will tell you right now that had I known at the beginning that it would end with Fred's death I might not have read it. It has nothing to do with your writing, which is outstanding. I just hate Fred's death. It hit me like a personal blow, the loss of a real friend, and I still haven't gotten over it. I love reading about the twins, but I hate reading about Fred being dead and George having to deal with it.
But, as a testament to your writing, even when I could see that this story was heading in that direction, which was pretty soon, I had to keep reading. It was so real, and so powerful, and so heart-breaking.
There's more to it, though, something that doesn't happen to me often when reading a fanfiction. Yes, I cried, but I cry at everything that has Fred dead and George alone. This was very different, however. Your character, this Muggle girl who was only mentioned once, just touched me. I could feel myself sitting in her shoes. It stopped being fanfiction, the fact it was my beloved Weasley twins also became an afterthought. It was like you were writing bits of my life here, of my own hopes and fears and unrealized dreams.
So I'm not sure how to end this review. I'm not sure whether to thank you for such a story, because, it was rather painful to read. I do praise your skill - your talent with words is a rare, rare gift! I guess, in the end, all I can say is that this story had a profound affect on me, one that reached beyond fanfic. Report Review
OH, that was adorable! I loved it! I have a rather soft spot in my heart for Percy, and the idea of him sitting there, trying to figure out how to "double-click" was so funny! I also loved the way you brought Audrey into it. (I've always kinda thought she might be a Muggle as well.)
Isn't it funny how some things just become part of our lives, and vocabulary. As I was reading this it occured to me how strange it could all be to someone who doesn't know about it. Sites, and pages, and "go to" a page. How do you "go" to a page, and shouldn't a page be paper? LOL. You did a really good job showing that!
Thanks for the fun read!Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you think so! :) It was quite funny to write as well, a Pureblood trying to figure out Muggle technology. That's great to hear, I couldn't resist doing that ;)
That's funny indeed... you're right, it's so normal for us to just go to a page, it's almost unthinkable that there would be people who have no idea how to do so. That made the writing process very interesting as well ;) Thanks, that's good to hear! I'm glad you liked it!
Thanks a lot for your review!! Report Review
First, can I squeal again? Oh, wait, you can't reply to these reviews, so HAH! *SQUEALS!*
What a wonderful present! You are the very bestest big brother in the whole wide world! Not only did you give me my own story for Christmas, but you had BOTH TWINS! *melts* If you can't tell, I'm really happy right now.
And then there is the wonderful tale itself. Eldy, I was laughing so hard through this whole story that I really think I broke something and shall the forwarding the medical bills to you shortly. Really, I was laughing so hard I was crying. The whole build up to the "horrible" thing that has happened, the worry, the tensions - and then to find Harry in the middle of THAT! Best thing ever!
I absolutly LOVED your twins. You do realize, Crusadeverse or not, you are now stuck. I will never let you get away without writing both of them again... They were perfectly in character! And I absolutly loved that they had no idea how to fix their own product! I'm still grinning.
And then to have the girls fix it. That was the ultimate ending. Although, your girls were nice, letting them think they'd fixed it. I'm not sure I would have been that nice. I might have marched out there and done it with them watching... I'm not sure what that says about me, however.
Thanks so much for this amazing tale. I adore it and will treasure it forever.
And before I leave, Eldy would like me to tell all reviewers, past and future, that he is very grateful for the reviews and wishes there was a way for him to respond to them!
Brilliant work, bro!
100/10 Report Review
And here we go with the final chapter! Before I launch into this last review, I must apologize for how late I am in giving the last two. I know you know how busy life was, but I still feel badly. And I feel especially bad after reading the praise you heap on me in here. *blushes* Don't listen to him, folks. All I do is find the odd spelling or punctuation mistake here and there. The genius of these tales is all Eldy.
Now, on with the review.
ARGH!!! Death just makes me so mad! Can I kill him? Oh, er...guess not... The whole conversation Death has been having with him was just to distract him from remembering about the cloak, wasn't it. That's not fair!
Hm. I sense real life frustration in those first few paragraphs. Ever had to go in on a Sat. to sigh paperwork, Eldy? LOL.
Had to laugh again at the food conversation. Boys and their stomachs: one of the constants of the universe.
And giggling insanely at the "Rupert" bit. I know, I giggled the first time around as well.
And I have to say, once again, I'm very, very impressed with your brilliance for the Zach Smith bit. Bringing him in, have it opposite what happened in Crusade. Just very, very brilliant.
I surely hope Audrey knows what she's getting into. Although, I have a feeling she'll do just fine.
Poor Percy - always the butt of the jokes. Someday, he's gonna prank them all and it will be earthshattering.
Glad to see Bill and Fleur again. I do like the oldest Weasley.
AH, you threw in a mention of Charlie! Cool!
Yes, where ARE George and Angelina? *hands on hips* Even though I KNOW where they are, having read this before, I still have to say it, because...well...I'm me. Hehehehe And I must say, the thought of ordering tea at a sporting event sorta boggles my mind.
Yeah, Oliver! I love it when characters come back! Such good times! And Oliver, I'm sure they'd root for you, but they don't want to be bat-bogeyed to death. I absolutely LOVE Bill's response to him. So classic. Bravo!
And a brilliant nod to your House Cup piece. Which is in and of itself brilliant.
I just love Arthur getting distracted by Muggle things. He's such a fun character!
And now the other shoe starts to drop. Too many Muggles. Good thing Ron is paying attention for once.
Oh, I'd forgotten Luna did commentary for a while. Those were good times. I'll have to go re-read that part!
Ugh...I can feel the tension rising. Harry, listen to Ron!
And then it all goes to heck...
And a wonderfully evil move to block apparition and raise tensions that much higher! And I just adore Ron's devotion to Hermione.
I really hate the thought of all the innocent people dying in this part of the story. I know, it's just a story, but it makes me sad.
Handy thing that link is.
Okay, sorry I haven't been commenting as much now but I'm completely sucked back into this story. GRIPPING! But I have to say, the line about Bellatrix's wand again spitting death gave me chills again. Wow!
YEAH! GEORGE! Okay, I'm done now...
GO WEASLEY WOMEN! And I agree with Harry completely "Bless the Weasleys!"
(Nods to the wonderful close of the Great Broom Plot Hole.)
Yaxley is such a coward.
AWWW, the last scene on the pitch with Ginny and Harry had me tearing up a bit. Nice job! And then to switch back to the later scene with Ginny finding Harry just in time! FINALLY! Again, thank heavens for the bond.
BRAVO, Eldy! This was a masterpiece. And I'm so glad I got to read it again. Thanks for the shout out at the end, although it really wasn't needed. Anyway, this was excellent work and I can't wait until you have time to give us the next Eldy Tale!Author's Response: Now, I should respond point by point to your magnificent review (especially your pointing out the different take on Zack here as opposed to his characterization in Crusade, which is one of my favorite flourishes) but instead, I think I'm gonna tell a little story to my constant readers.
Folks, the Farmgirl has this bad habit of going all humble when I thank her for her help on this story and claiming that she didn't do much. That, of course, overlooks the fact that if it hadn't been for a chat session we had about four months ago, this story never would've even existed.
However, most importantly, the Farmgirl pointed out a HUGE plot hole in this chapter. But let me back up.
There were a lot of complex pieces to the last chapter, which is quite long by my standards, (nearly as long as the first short story I wrote for this site). And I kept having to back up and re read the summary I give of this Battle in "Strategy and the Ecstasy" in Crusade to make sure I kept continuity. Then I'd tweak, and re write, back and fill, add characters and flourishes and then, finally, I sent it off to the Farmgirl.
I was rather proud of myself; thought I'd put together a real winner, caught all the problems and hitches. So as I was patting myself on the back, and nearly breaking my arm in the process, I got the Farmgirl's edits. I'm reading through them, making corrections here and there, laughing at some of the jokes she threw in (always does that, cracks me up), when we get to the part where Harry realizes he's got to get up in the tower to kill the warder. This is what she says in her notes to me:
"Harry, you are on a Quidditch pitch with downed players. Steal a broom and either go help her or go get the bad guy in the tower! Or if you can't think to at least do that, get George to build a homemade bomb for you and throw it at the blasted tower!"
Ooops. Here I've got Harry, the youngest Seeker in a century, standing on a Quidditch Pitch, trying to find a way to get up to the top of the tower, and it NEVER occured to me that maybe Harry might just grab one of the brooms lying around. Or that maybe just blasting the tower would be an easier way to solve the problem.
I was dropped on my head as a child, did I mention that?
So, I added the bit about the brooms all being broken and that blasting the tower wasn't an option because the announcer was essentially a human shield.
So that's the tale of the Massive Broom Plot Hole. Thanks to the Farmgirl, I was able to fill that thing in and keep everyone from going "Well, that's pretty stupid. But, I guess it makes sense since Eldy was dropped on his head as a child."
This is just one of the many ways she's helped make this tale so much better than it would've been.
Thanks, Farmgirl, for all your help and this magnificent review.
Now, where's that next chapter of Healing for me to Beta before Aurorofthelight hexes us both to Hampshire?
Eldy Report Review
You know, I'm kinda glad (although I'm sure you aren't) that I waited this long to review. It meant I had an excuse to go and read this brilliant tale all over again, AND have the fun of it feeling like it was the first time. And I must say, every time I read something of yours I'm struck again with exactly how talented you are. Not kidding, Eldy, your writing puts many of us to shame. :)
Now, to comment on the actual chapter. I shall be making comments as I read along so I don't forget anything I want to say. If things seem jumbled, well...deal with it. LOL.
The opening lines about him not being able to walk anymore simply because his legs stopped working were very good. And Mr. CAPSLOCK MAN is making me mad, all over again! Makes me want to sic Fluffy on him. I do love Harry's stubbornness and tenacity.
And, side note, I totally agree. At least one of the grandkids should have been named Arthur.
Now, Kingsley. Poor, poor Kingsley. (And love the return of the Grangers.) When Molly Weasley decides to take someone on as a project...well, you'd better either hide well or give in. I fully expect to see you marrying him off to some witch of Molly's finding in one of these later crusadeverse stories you know...
Loved the line about who was in charge. Hehehehe
I really do love this scene with King and Arthur. A lot. So much so that I can completely overlook your little break with POV, LOL. Seriously, though. You should wrote the two of them more often.
And stupid, stupid prophet. You need to have Fred and George hex the press into oblivioun, or at least mix all the letters up so it only prints knock, knock jokes.
(And, as a side note that I've thought of as reading this, are you ever gonna let Harry be at ease in this verse? I know he's a Auror and will always chase the bad guys, but will the war ever officially be over for him?)
*Cries for lost Order of the Phoenix*
I've said it a million times and I'll say it again - no one can write dueling and action sequences like you. *bows*
And I love the brother sister banter between Ron and Ginny. Such an overlooked area in fanfic.
The pillow fight was hysterical, if short. I miss the times they could just be silly sometimes.
GO RON! Finally one up on Hermione! Wait, I need my journal - gotta write this down!
Stupid, evil, nasty, MEANIE Death! I do hope you let Ginny deck him... LOL.
GREAT stuff, bro! Enjoyed it completely reading it again.Author's Response: Farmgirl!
Great to hear from you, and no worries about the wait. I figured I'd hear from you before 2011. LOL!
"CAPSLOCK man," I like that! Kind of an "X Files" type nickname for him. I know how much he cheeses you off, but, as you know he does serve a vital purpose.
I take most of my Weasleyish inspiration from you, SD and JAM. While I'll never write them as well as you three, I do appreciate your praise.
The Arthur/Kingsley talk was key (even tho I did have to break Harry-POV to get it in there). It was vital for two reasons. First, I had to explain why Harry and Ron were running the Aurors, and why the Auror Corps was so young. Second, SOMEONE needed to acknowledge the great sacrifices the extended Weasley clan had made throughout the war. Arthur and Molly deserved that and who better than King to say it?
"You need to have Fred and George hex the press into oblivioun, or at least mix all the letters up so it only prints knock, knock jokes."
What a great idea for a oneshot!
Thanks for the praise of the dueling - I always have a blast writing those scenes. But, I really think I love the pillow fight and banter parts of this chapter the best. Glad you liked that, and Ron finally getting one up on Hermione. Hehehe.
Thanks for this great review! It was definitely worth the wait.
Okay, Civi... WOW!
I must tell you something. I am not a fan of next-gen fics. I don't agree with the kids that JKR (which is dumb I know since they are HER creations but I digress) gave most of the characters, so it therefore stands to reason that I wouldn't really care for stories written about them. And that aside, I find I just really can't get into them. The characters I care about are the current generation, not the next.
Now, after reading this I still don't really care for next-gen, but, Civi, I know the power of words when I read them, and you've got them girl.
Your ability to use words, twist them and ply them and bend them to your will - again I say it, WOW! That was seriously good craftmanship! I don't regret clicking on this story at all, next-gen or not. A beautiful story is a beautiful story.
I think probably the ONLY sentence I didn't like was this one: "He was wearing washed out jeans, with a ragged hole on his left knee, which were slung low on his hips." < it read just a little too much like a fangirl writing the fashion style of their favorite character, LOL. (And I feel I know you well enough I can tell you that. :) )
Anyway, I am seriously impressed and will look to see what you put out in the future!
20/10Author's Response: I think I squealed a little bit when I saw another review. So, thank you for that! :)
The reason I write next gen. is because I'm worried about having the canon characters actually in character. I'm a bit lazy, so this way I can just... make them whatever I want without having to worry about having the "true" characterization. It makes it easier for me to work with them... Plus, I don't feel as bad for adding an OC then - since there are already so many characters to work with in the other eras. I'll be honest, I quite love Felicity. At least, the one in my head. Who knows if she comes across as I "see" her. :P Characters have always been the favourite part of any novel for me.
You're making me blush, though. Just thought you ought to know. :) I've always sort of... struggled with writing. But every once in a while, I kind of see things? Like little images or moments in time? Which is why I usually write one shots (all except this one are unpublished). And I totally love description so I always add that in. xD The novel that I just submitted has the same characters as this, but I don't think it'll be quite the same... I'm not totally in love with it, but I thought if I didn't put it in as soon as I finished, then I never would.
Yeah, that part... I need to edit it. xD Not my favourite. (Actually, it's pretty bad... *dies*). Makes me cringe a bit to read, honestly. And criticism is always welcome, so no worries there. :) I want to get better.
Thank you so so much for the review, it means a lot coming from you! :)
Taylor ♥ Report Review
*jaw hits the floor*
Okay, this review must have two parts after something like that.
1. I HATE this story because...well...you did that to Ginny! I know you are absolutly right, war changes people, but I suffer from a disease known as wanting to see the world through rose colored glasses. I don't like my good guys crossing the line, even though it probably happens. So, yeah, I didn't like reading that one bit.
2. I simply have to applaud your guts to write that. Again me with the rose-colored glasses would never do something like this, but that just makes me the weaker writer for it. It took nerve to do this to Ginny, to have her cross that line, and I have to bow to your talent as an author because of it.
Way to submit an original! Report Review
Oh so heartwrenchingly sad! I have always felt so badly for Andromeda Tonks. She lost more than almost anyone in those books. Her husband, her daughter, her son-in-law. And yet she was also left in the wake to raise a baby. A baby who would be a constant reminder everyday of all that she lost. And baby she would have to be strong and happy and brave for. I think she must have been an incredibly strong woman.
Thanks for writing a story from her perspective. Very nicely done. Report Review
That was refreshingly original! I NEVER would have seen that plot coming and it was such a nice change from the angst and heartache of the actual Battle.
How did you ever think of putting those characters together? Snape with his own personal Peeves. Classic.
Makes you wonder if either one of them's perspective on the other changed after Snape himself was killed.
Way to go! Very enjoyable. :) Report Review
Yeah, see, it's stories like this that have made me so reluctant to dive into these collab pieces. And I mean that as a compliment.
I hate Fred dying. Hate it, hate it, hate it. So, naturally, I try to avoid reading about it. When I clicked on your story and saw the topic, I almost backed right back out again, but iut caught my eye. Most stories about Fred's death deal with George's reaction to it. I've seen very few that focus on Percy and so I was intrigued enough to keep reading.
And while I'm crying now, I'm glad I did. You have a very powerful story here. Your imagery with words is very good and you used them to skillfully make me feel the suspension of time and space as Percy dealt with this. Bravo and well done.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go restock my tissue supply. Report Review
Okay, wow. Just wow! I'm a bit blown away by this. Firstly, I haven't read many of the collab pieces. I haven't had the time and there are SO many of them, but I'm so glad I clicked on this one.
I love how you focus on characters we know, but also character that don't get much spotlight. (And I might be wrong, but do I sense a little bit of Hufflepuff pride coming out in those choices? Kudos to you if that's true, and that's coming from a died in the wool Gryffindor.) It is so easy to forget when reading about that Battle that there were more than just Harry and the trio and Weasleys and Gryffindor's fighting. It was truly a joint effort of everyone fighting who believed in freedom and such. Bravo on bring that point out.
I also liked how you didn't mince words about what would be happening in the aftermath of a battle like that. Ernie was happy they won, but also very aware of the cost.
The subtle touches of magic were great. You brought it in (conjuring the towel, etc.) which so many people forget to do, but you didn't draw attention to it. It was normal, which is as it should be for this setting.
I loved your background for Ernie. I'm not sure if that's canon or not, but it was wonderfuly thought out and very moving. Well done.
Finally, the twist at the end. WOW! Talk about shocker! Not much in these battle stories can surprise me as there's only so many roads to go, but you manged it. Heartwrenchingly so.
Thanks for writing a great piece. Report Review
So, first of all - YOU KILLED LUNA?!?!?! Um...that's not very nice. Really, what did she ever do to you?
But I will give you credit for the unexpected. Didn't see it coming at all.
Nextly, I'm really intrigued by this character you presented. I want to know who she is, how she fits into everything, why she's fighting for her parents. Is she someone we know? And OC? Who's her brother?
Take all those questions as a compliment. It's not easy to write something this short and get me asking questions about it. Well done, and congrats on submitting the last posted fic to the contest. :) Report Review
Well, I figured I'd better come over hear and leave you a review where it will really count. I'm afraid you will be rather disappointed as I'm not good at the novel reviews like you give. I wish I could do that, but my brain just doesn't work like that. It's hard enough getting words down on paper in stories.
I do have to tell you, however, that this really was a rather remarkable story. The gamma of emotions you managed to pack into this little thing is astounding. Contradictions that should be imposible to link together seem as natural as air. I really am blown away by your talent with words and your ability to creat pictures with them.
Sirius has never been my favorite character. I don't DISLIKE him, but I have issues with him that I won't go into for fear of the men in white coats showing up at my doorstep. (Ask Eldy if you're really curious.) As such, I've never actively sought out and read any stories featuring him, but this one was so highly recommended I couldn't resist. I'm glad now that I didn't because if I had, I would have really missed out.
Bravo on an incredible story! The HPFF world had better watch out because you are going to take it by storm, putting the rest of us to shame.Author's Response: Wow, I'm completely blown away by this review... Just because yours isn't a novel (like my own run-on ones, bahaha) doesn't make it any less powerful for me to read! This a fantastic review.
Thank you so much for this. I'm stunned that you think this story is remarkable and I'm thrilled that you particularly enjoy the contradictions, as they were my favorite part as well. The fact that my words created clear pictures for you is really great to hear, so thank you for the compliment!
Men in white coats?? My curiosity sense is tingling! I'll have to ask Eldy about this! Haha and after you've answered my first set of MTA questions, I think I might have to ask about your thoughts on Sirius... I'm interested now! Sirius isn't my all-time favorite, I find myself unable to truly take a strong stand on him either way, but when I began this story it wasn't about anyone in particular - it wasn't written about Sirius! It was honestly just thoughts running through my head that I wrote down and ended up forming a story with. I decided that since I hadn't posted anything in a while I should just try to find a character who could fit into the role, at least somewhat believably, and I just chose Sirius, because he was plausible, and I tweaked a few bits so the story could be published here! Crazy, right? But I'm really glad to hear people are enjoying it so much - and I'm astonished that this came as 'highly recommended' to you! I'm really happy that you decided to read it and that you enjoyed it so much as well! :-D
I don't even know how to respond to your last statement here... I'm honestly speechless that you could even think for a moment that I have the potential to be a major author on this site! I'm flabbergasted (that word always makes me chuckle!) to the point where I don't think I can write down anything articulate or intelligent about it! All I can say is Wow and Thank you so much for the stunning review. It has truly just made my day! :-D Report Review
Firstly, thanks for the shoutout at the beginning. It wasn't needed, silly bro, but thank you all the same.
Okay, on with the review. I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but I'm gonna anyway. This is my favorite chapter! Any guesses why? *Huge grin*
I absolutly adore the banter at the beginning! And it's so much better for the fact that George is there. (Most things in life are better with the twins there, except for chick flicks and study sessions...) I love how you bring in characters that often get forgotten - Lee, Terry Boot, Anthony Goldstein, etc. Your magical world is peopled with PEOPLE! That is something that JKR is exceptionally good at, making sure there is more to the world than just the 5 main characters, and you are right up there with her. Bravo mate!
The moment about George's wand - PRICELESS! I love it. And then the next bit where he runs off to help in the battle because that's his brother and future sister-in-law down there, even better. You have me screaming "YES, YES, YES!" while reading, and while it's making the cats eye me a little strangely, you should take it as the ultimate compliment.
Sniffles at the mention of Fred, can't help it. And I really love your George. I'm still waiting for that complete twin fic, just so you know...
Now, the Archives, bro? Really? What are you, anti-historian? Against librarians? YOU BURNED THE WHOLE HISTORY OF A WORLD HERE! Please, please, please tell me they have back-ups of everything. And you'd darn well better get Kingsley to give those archivists a raise after this, cause while our heros fight the battle that lasts for an hour or so, they have to clean up the mess for weeks and weeks.
Okay, back to the show. BRILLIANT battle scene! You had me on the edge of my seat the whole time! From the rage that Ron had (go Ron!) to his cradeling Hermione (cries) to George coming back (YES AGAIN!) to Harry almost dying (stop DOING that!) to the message he sent through the link to Ginny (which wasn't wise methinks)... All I can say is WOW! How do you do that? Every battle you write I think, this is it. This is perfection. Can't get any better...and then you DO get better!
Just a few specific moments I wanted to comment on. Love George's suport and incouragement of Ron. :D Dennis' nod to Collin made me cry. George's "Three!" was perfect, and the Angel's arrival again made me cheer. Now, having Harry drop old Tommy's wand was just cruel, though.
Your portrale of Ginny here was brilliant. I know the girl is tougher than dirt, but she's still a girl - a highly emotional, redheaded, YOUNG girl. What a way to advance the link and show that side of her at the same time.
The hospital scene made me giggle. Kingsley counting, the silence, the image of snogging in hospital robes...
Love all the nods to Crusade you're getting in here - training the girls, wandless magic, Harry's place in the corps, the "brother" bits.
I hope this rambling, incoherent review has made some little bit of sense. I was trying desperatly not to forget anything I wanted to say so I would read a bit, scroll down and write a comment, then go back and read more. Sufice it to say, I LOVED this chapter and think you are the most brilliant author ever.
Thanks for posting!Author's Response: Stand and applaud the Mighty Farmgirl! Folks, she is far and away the best emotion-writer on the site. Read her stuff; you will NOT regret it!
Thanks so much for this stupendous review. I'm glad I can still get you cheering even after having read this chapter before.
Down to business.
I really loved throwing the whole team into the mix here and George just made everything all the more entertaining. Originally, I'd put George in here as a treat for you; lo and behold it made this chapter, especially, 10 times better than it would have been. I have you to thank for that! The bit with his getting his wand past security, I just couldn't resist. Hehehehe. Glad you liked that. Some day, when the muse stirs me, you'll get a twin fic out of me. You know I've got a few untamed plot bunnies in that regard.
The Archives. Never fear. Day one when Hermione started working at the Ministry, she gave King an earful about duplicating the archives. He listened. All the information is safely duplicated. As for the mess, well...
I love this battle scene more than any other I've ever written. Ron's fight is my favorite, supporting and defending hermione. You've pointed out all my favorite parts here, actually. "Three!" That was all for you! Thanks so much for the praise here. You're making my head swell!
Tommy's Wand. Y'know, I did leave it a little vague as to whether it survived the fire...
Ginny Crying. I'm always hesitant to do that. I'm really really pleased you thought it worked, that it was in character for her.
I never can resist a R/Hr fight that turns into a snog. Just one of my favorite flourishes.
The real struggle with this tale has been to flesh out everything that was taken for granted in "Crusade" and not bore everyone to tears in the process. Its a great relief you think it works.
This review has been anything but a ramble. Thanks so much, for EVERYTHING, my brilliant little sis and beta!
Chick flicks? Oy vey!
Okay, firstly... *passes out nice, fluffly bathrobes to everyone* There, now I will be able to concentrate on this review MUCH better. :)
*claps loudly* Bravo! Once again, a magnificant chapter! I thought it was great about three edits ago, and all it's done is got better. Well done!
Now, there's just so much in here I'm worried I'll forget to talk about something, but I shall do my best not to.
The beginning - I really love how you've taken their qualities and traits we knew from the series and played them out to their logical ends in adult life. Hermione in some time of powerful position that requires her smarts, her passion, and her impressive magical ability. Ron, not as a side-kick, but as a full fledged partner and second in command, the defacto stratigist. And Harry as a leader people finally listen to who commands respect. It really is very nice to read!
I also like how, with Hermione's influence, they are thinking outside the box, delving into Muggle history and new types of magic and such. COOL touch!
Your comments about history's evil guys and being locked up reminded me of something you will probably like. Since I've been plying you with Harper quotes this week, here's another one. "I never got that whole prison thing. Hey, you have the potential to be a nasty piece of work! Why don't we, uh, lock you up with a serious bunch of hard cases and get you really good at it!"
Ah, and I had to laugh reading the Glen part again. Poor Ron, hehehehe. Doesn't he know beach boys are all the rage for secretaries right now?
Middle Part - Do I even have to tell you you made your sister blush? Probably not...
But I will say this - I absolutly LOVE that you included Percy! And him doing something un-Percyish to boot. I have a soft spot for that old ninny, and you wrote him so perfectly in character! (And you are right, Gin is WAY worse than George!)
Also like to say I really like your take on Audrey. I'm trying to figure out how to steal her from you for the Healing universe, but can't quite make it gell considering the differences in our tales. But I'm gonna keep working on it, so be warned.
Ending - You've played with this a bit since I read it. I like the new transition from past to present. Works much better!
Poor emotionally scarred Harry! He never had a chance at not having serious issues, did he. You know it, I know it, we both write it in our stuff, but I must tell you sometimes I am SO tempted to say forget it and give the boy some fluff! Pluck him out of everything, set him down in a nice resort spa somewhere, and forget him for a month or two. Merlin knows he needs it.
Now, Mr. Meany CAPS! I'm warning you. Keep getting on my nerves like this and I'm gonna sick the twins on you, and believe me, that's more dangerous than it sounds. Just ask St. Peter.
Eldy, another supurb chapter! I enjoyed reading it, every single time! I can't thank you enough for the opportunity to be "in" on your stuff! Not only is it fun, and I get to read such amazing stuff, but I learn so much as well.
10/10 plus my spare change toward the Percy Clothing Fund to stop the poor boy from blushing any more.Author's Response: The Mighty Farmgirl everyone!! WOOOT!!!
Thanks for this awesome review, sis. Speaking of which, I was reading through yours from the recent chapter of "Healing" and it looks like the critics are raving!
Folks, stop reading Pitch and go read "Healing." You'll thank me.
Now, down to biz.
I LOVE maturing the characters. It really is the most fun I have out here, trying to suss out how they would develop but still trying to keep them recognizable, having people go "Yeah, that's still Harry/Ron/Hermione/Ginny"
I owe a lot of my success in that regard to you both as a beta and as inspiration.
The Harper Quote slayed me! LOL!
Glen was a deprived shot of inspiration. Really glad you liked that. So, you want a beach-boy secretary too? Hmmm, would've thought you'd want a redhead, or two of them...LOL!
Percy. Yet another bout of deprived inspiration. Sorry to make you blush, but I just couldn't resist. Glad you liked seeing our favorite Ninny...maybe a little TOO MUCH of our favorite Ninny. LOL!
My version of Audrey is all yours. Take her and run with it. Can't wait to see what you write!
Harry is battered and bruised. Its really only Ginny's love, and the support of his friends and the Weasley's that got him through those first few weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts. But, even now, he's just been through too much to be completely whole.
As for the spa thing. I did let him have a beach vacation in "Crusade." Well, it did get cut short...
Gonna put the twins on Mr. Meany CAPS? Hate to say this, but it might be a fairly even match. Then again, St. Peter didn't have an easy time of it, did he?
The pleasure has been all mine, Mighty Farmgirl. Thanks so much for all your help here.
Clothing Fund for Perce? You could just be happy that the poor boy has finally let his hair down, along with, erm, other things...
Thanks again, sis. You are aces!
So glad you finally got this chapter up! I really do love this tale. It's a supurb example of your finest writing. I don't know how you thought of the back and forth stuff (and I say this in every review) but I really, really love it. It's just such a wonderful way to tell two stories without it really seeming like you're telling two stories. Rather sneaky, actually. The twins would be proud.
Another little detail I absolutly love is the apparation via photograph thing. I ALWAYS wondered how wizards got to places they'd never been before, and with one little sentence you solved a 10 year mystery! Bravo!
On to the meat of the chapter. I really just love your trio writing. You have their voices down so well, I feel like I'm reading the books. The Horseshoes part was so in character, Harry finding the "prose" of the army manuel, Ron teasing him. (Although why Harry took the time to look it up instead of just asking Hermione.LOL) And I adore Harry's response to Ron's asking if he trusts him. Seem to remember predicting something like that when betaing...
Your magical development still leaves me stunned! Next time I need something invented or expounded on, or even just pointers on how to turn up the suspence and action, you are the person I'm going straight to! It's amazing! And what's more, it has two amazing parts. It's inherently magical, completely "Harry Potter" if you will, and fits seemlessly into the world you're playing with, but at the same time, it also reads as "real" if you catch my drift. I didn't read this going, oh here's another fantasy story, again. It reads like a real life, good old fashioned mystery/love story/cop drama! LOVE IT!
Ron's concern for Hermione over Greyback is an excruciatingly lovely touch. I really love how you can keep them in character and still mature them. That's REALLY hard and you do it so well. Another bravo for that one.
Now, this dude in the CAPS letters. He's starting to cheese me off. Can I duct tape his mouth shut and throw him in a manure pile? Please?
More soon. I can't WAIT for the next bit!Author's Response: Farmgirl!
Folks, a round of applause for my trusty beta and adopted little sis, please.
Stupendous review. Thanks bunches.
I'm really glad this chapter's up too. Been too long. The "two stories at once" touch I liked, even though, as you know, it got progressively harder and harder to do it. That's one reason why this tale is six chapters long and not seven. LOL!
Apparation by photograph. As much as I'd love to take credit for this bit, it ain't mine. I read it out there somewhere (can't remember where now) but I thought it was brilliant too.
Interesting tho, there's a lot of stuff I've been influenced by and there's a lot of stuff I came up with independently, only to find other folks reached the same idea on their own before I did. I find that really interesting when it happens.
Harry/Ron banter I think is my new niche. I really feel like I've settled in for that and I'm just pleased as firewhiskey you like it. Now, why didn't Harry just ask Hermione? Hehehe, most likely it was just one of those little things that took on a life of its own. Harry probably thought "I'll just take 10 minutes and figure this out." Then 10 turned into 20, turned into an hour...You know how it goes.
The magical stuff in this chapter, I'm happy to say, is all my original creation. Not to say someone else out here in Potterdom came up with it too but I just haven't read their stories yet. LOL! Thanks so much for the praise. It was great fun coming up with this stuff. As to where it came from, just have to ask my muse. She pulls this stuff from somewhere.
Maturing the characters is always a challenge. In this tale, because it takes place two years before Crusade, they're supposed to be more "immature" than in "Crusade" but much more mature than in DH. I'm glad you liked it.
Cheesed off? That got me laughing. Sounds like the Vengeful Farmgirl is gonna give the git what for. I'll stay out of the way and let you at him.
More should be up this weekend.
Thanks for all your help with this story and this great review.
Eldy Report Review
*Looks at calendar*
I'm only what, three months late with this? How have you managed not to disown me yet?
Anyway, enough about that, more about the excellent fic.
You know, I love this part. I think it's probably my favorite part of the whole story, and that's saying something. I love the dialogue back and forth between Harry and Ron in the first two. I know I've told you before how exceptionally good you are at writing the two of them, but reading this again to get ready to give you a review gave me a new appreciation of exactly how well you also write Ron and Hermione together. The whole thing was just so perfect! Accusing him of thinking only of his stomach, to him telling her he wasn't hungry. The almost fight and bickering at the beginning the melded seamlessly into the serious, wonderful conversation in the middle... So good. And I love how you can write Ron (and Hermione, but I'm focusing on Ron because he was my favorite here) and have him still be the Ron we know and love, but also be a more mature, levelheaded, able to get serious when it really matters Ron.
His proposal was so completely perfect and spontanious, and Hermione asking Why was unexpected, but at the same time, completely right.
And then we get the the squeeling. Finally! Every once in awhile Hermione just has to be utterly girly and normal, and lots of folks forget that, but you never do and I love that.
Now, if only I could think of Harry's kitchen table being used for food ever again and not shudder, LOL.
Give you a 10 to the tenth power out of ten on this one, bro. Well done! Hope you get a Dobby for this one.Author's Response: Farmgirl!
I know your life has been hectic, to say the least. I knew you'd get around to this eventually. Absolutely no worries at all. And what a great review! Definitely worth the wait.
I liked the way I wrote Ron in Crusade, but I definitely think I found his voice in this tale. For continuity purposes, hopefully everyone will chalk up the more serious Ron in Crusade to the absolutely nasty situation the Quartet are facing in that story.
Nonetheless, I'm really glad you liked it. the argument between the two of them was entirely too much fun to write. As to her "Why?" that inspiration came straight from my wife. If I had a dime for everytime she threw me for a loop with that question when I wasn't expecting it I'd be rich. And, it just seems like such a Hermione thing to ask here, doesn't it?
Thanks for the praise.
As for the table, just try to put it out of your mind. LOL!
Eldy Report Review
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