Ok...opening sentence: FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC!!! In that first sentence I KNEW I was going to love this chapter! Ha ha ha ha! I love you for that opening sentence!
He he he I also loved the reference to Cedric, that had me snarfing, I kept imagining a tiny, sexy little Diggory following Tonks around like a hot little puppy.mmm yum! I'll have two servings of that please!
"Boys are testoterone'y" hee hee that had me snarfing out loud!!
K and this was one of my faves: "There was nothing more attractive than a handsome, nice, well mannered sex god. It was even better than a normal sex god." Here Here! I agree m'lady!!! ;P
AH! Your description of Phineas Clearwater -professional shag-monster and pain in the arse- had me in paroxysms of snarfalicious delight! Ha ha ha ha! That tickled me so much!!! xD
Boo to you madam for that cliffie though! :/ *humph* And drat that Bronwyn; Charlie and Cael should by right both belong to me, and in lieu of the fact that I am not currently (and rather unfortunately), living in your fanfic, they belong to Tonks. Hands off Bronwyn and Raquel!
Ok...well I loved this chapter more than I can say and it was an awesome break from writing my dreaded thesis on the Construction of Cultural Hegemonies Pertaining to the African Dancing Body (yes, I am a nerd, sad but true).this has been a damn sight more fun than doing research! This chapter has made my day actually and lifted my mood right up!
It sucks that nobody is reviewing but please do NOT stop writing because then I will have to cry non-stop for several weeks and nobody wants that! This story is amazing and I have great faith that people will start reviewing soon! I'm also struggling with reviews but such is life!
I'm really glad you updated btw, I've been jonesing for a fix of this gorgeous story for DAYS now, I kept checking to see if it was there and then I missed it by two days! Anyhoo, I've read it now and my heart is filled with bittersweetness (sweet because I loved the chapter and bitter because it's finished!)
Ok, wow I really need to stop rambling now, but anyway, it was amazing! Waiting impatiently for the next installment!
XXXAuthor's Response: My first loyal reviewer! ^_^ Thanks so much for the great, long review, and I'm going to respond to every last bit.
I had to give a wink and a nudge to Cedric, Rpattz is just too hot as Cedric! And of course, Cael is near perfect, how could he not be?
Of course, you know that Phineas Clearwater could get down.
And I couldn't make it all resolved! I was 2000+ words in, I needed a cliffie! Create some interest! Bronwyn... I almost feel sort of bad for her, but for reasons you'll see later, I don't at all! Raquel... well, she's a little misunderstood. You'll see that later. I have a wonderful plot planned out, and I hope you, first and foremost, will enjoy it!
Thanks so much hun! These reviews really mean my day, I love them! I'll update just for you this weekend, thanks again! :) Report Review
Ha ha ha ha ha ok now that had me snarfing out loud!!! He he I was laughing so hard I almost dropped my laptop actually! Machu Pichu *snort* "stop acting like a caveman and use your words" "highest trauma rate" "shag monsters" "my robes billowing in an intimidating, Snape-like fashion" ha ha ha and then he screams at a spider!!! Those were some of the bits that had me snorting with glee (in the most unladylike fashion), I absolutely loved reading this chapter. You, madam, are a comic genius!
Tuli xxxAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you so much! You flatter me too much, you really do. Thanks so much! :) Report Review
Well this was definitely an interesting and intrigueing first chapter. I also like the fact that it's very original. I'm really interested to find out alot more about the Trennens, especially Meredith, Ashley, Tabitha and Owen. I hope you update soon because I really would like to find out where you will take this, I'm sure that it will be wonderful!
Tuli xxxAuthor's Response: woo-oo, yay! my first review on this story! i got the idea while i was sleeping, it was a dream i had! so i hope it's good, too! thank you so much for taking the time to review!!
~LiZbEtH*cArSoN~ Report Review
This was a really great first chapter, you constructed your story really well and the construction and dynamic of your characters is also excellent. The flow was also good and I liked the change in POV because it's something that Rowling didn't really use and it's very interesting to look and feel the story through Ginny. The change in POV added such an important layer to this chapter. :) This chapter really draws the reader in, very intrigueing! There were a few mistakes in spelling and grammar but nothing major and for someone so young you really really write well! Kudos!
Tuli xxxAuthor's Response: thank u so much i really apprceciate it!!! yea i know my grammar isnt the best but im working on it hope u keep reading!! Report Review
Hahahaha ok this is my favourite chapter!!! It was hilarious in so many ways! That section on Steve Irwin was priceless! Me and my baby brother (ok he's 18 but whatever) are ALWAYS doing Irwin impersonations: "Ah would ye jast look at that Sheila! Isn't shoi a beautee! And just look at this beautiful colouraytion! I aint gonna hurt ya little one." Ha ha ha and that's me spelling with an aussie accent xD
Food Deprivation Day! He he he I live in South Africa so I only get to eat turkey at Christmas too, I feel Nikki's pain! Ah but you gotta love those Potters! That was one classic prank, hahaha that had me snarfing out loud! He he and I wouldn't mind seeing James' bum so no judgement from me there Nikster! Report Review
Ha ha ha oh my goodness this chapter was pure happiness!!! Yay for Nikki and Jamesie finally together, how adorably adorable *ducks* Ok ok Nik, I'm SORRY for calling you adora- *thwack* ...jeez, she REALLY doesn't like that word :/
He he anyhoo, this story is rocking my socks, stayed up until five in the morning reading it and messing up my sleep pattern cos I couldn't stop! Brilliant!!! xD Report Review
Ha ha ha 'Potter-Hate Mode' that had me snarfing delightedly in my bed (my laptop is like a teddy bear, sad but true) this is a great first chapter, I have a feeling that I'm really really going to enjoy this story and I think Nikki is an awesome character :) Can't wait to read up on all their other shenannigans...here I go! *hops on broom* whooosh! Report Review
My Goodness My Guinness that was hilarious! Ha ha ha oh dear I was laughing out loud throughout the whole of that final scene! I've never read anything like this before and I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying the fruits of your originality! I hope this isn't the end of Ben: conquering hero and all-around cement saviour!
Kudos for this wonderful concept!Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing, emerald enchantress. This isn't the end, because there are two more chapters to go!
~ Tim the Enchanter Report Review
Ha ha ha ok that ending was PRICELESS!!! It was so serious in the beginning (and very well written might I say, your descriptive writing is beautiful and I liked that it was written from Voldermort's point of view) I kept waiting for it to get crazy and then BAM!!! Ha ha ha that made my day! Voldy was killed by a cement truck! xD Gosh, the juxtaposition between the sober and serious description of Harry and Hermione's fight with Nagini and Hermione's death with that sudden and hilarious ending is unexpected and delightful, I can't wait to see what will happen next...I'm officially intrigued! ;)Author's Response: Thanks - I'm glad you liked the sudden ending of this chapter! One of my friends was very upset by the death of Hermione, but I only killed her off to create the right mood.
My inspiration for this story actually came from a weird dream I had (a lot of my ideas come from strange dreams, I admit), in which I was Harry Potter and I was being chased by Voldemort around the backstreets of London. Of course, right when he was about to kill me, he got run over by a cement mixer! So all I did to write this story was make this dream fit into Deathly Hallows, and voila! I even expanded this idea into a multi-chaptered fic, so be on the lookout for more updates!
~ Tim the Enchanter Report Review
Ha ha ok that chapter was quite funny...Chelsea in Harry's bed...lolAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the review!! Yeah Chelsea's supposed to be the kinda crazy one...but I'm glad you think it's funny cause it's not supposed to be serious at all! I try'd to correct all my spelling but I miss some...I'm not very good at that. I really don't want someone to beta this b/c it's just for fun...leave the beta's for the real stories :) Report Review
Hey, lol just realised I might have called Chelsea 'Charlotte' in my last review...I can't remember! Anyhoo, she still cracks me up!Author's Response: It's all good I'm just glad someone reviewed! Report Review
Hey, I saw you didn't have any reviews so I thought I'd stop by. That chapter was quite funny, maybe just work a bit on spelling, it makes quite a big difference to a story when the spelling and grammar are correct :) Charlotte cracks me up and I can't wait to see what happens when the word of the Mary-Sue meets Hogwarts ;) Report Review
Ok wow, that was one marathon of a chapter! I'm so sad this is finished!
Gosh, it would take me about a hundred years to review the whole chapter because there was so much I loved about it so I'm picking the moment that resonated with me the most: that scene where everyone stood up for Dean at the dance literally had me in tears. I sobbed for about five minutes. It was such a powerful moment. As I said in an earlier review most of my guy friends are gay and I know how much crap they have to put up with and how ugly people can get. Luckily I also know that there is acceptance and you captured it so poignantly. It was unbelivably beautiful writing, it was honestly an honour and a pleasure to read.
I'm so happy with how this ended, it has left me feeling wonderfully happy and I'm so glad that I stumbled upon this story. I hope to read some more of your work!
TuliAuthor's Response: That was indeed a bit lengthy wasn't it? Lol! Thank you so much for your words. Seriously... I'm bubbling over with a sense of accomplishment, joy and excitement. I'm glad that you felt so connected to the story and your review has left me numb with sheer happiness. I figured after all the crap the poor guy went through why not give him a happy ending? He deserved no less and I'm thrilled you stuck with him till the end. You're absolutely lovely for that! I am thinking heavily about putting out some more slash work... let me know if you have any ideas I would be more than honored to listen. Report Review
Oh god those Slytherins are completely despicable...I hope Dean is ok. I'm so glad he and Harry managed to patch things up though. I'm keeping this short because I really want to find out what happens next. *hops on broom* siyonaraAuthor's Response: This chap was truly a bitter sweet one for Dean. I know it seems mean what I'm making him go through but I wanted to really capture the reality of what coming out can be like for some. Usually with slash stories it's always just about quick sexual encounters or plotless dribble. Hopefully this is a bit more than that... Dean thanks you and happily awaits your review on the next one! Report Review
Oh no poor Dean. I'm sure that in all his imaginings that was not how he had envisioned coming out. Ron and Harry are ridiculous, they both need to get off their high horses and talk to poor Ginny. Thank goodness for Hermione, and although I'm hurting for him, it was lovely to see how selfless Dean was when he told her not to try and choose between him and Ron and Harry.
Another great chapter, I hope the next one is happier for Dean xxxAuthor's Response: I love your recap! Yeah I agree those two are acting way bratty and once again things aren't looking good for Dean. It always gets worse before it gets better they say... please hang in there for Dean and keep reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oh my gawd that scene between Draco and Dean sent shivers zooming down my spine...that was kinda hot!
Oh no but Dean has gotten himself into quite a pickle now...I feel so bad for them all :(
On another note this chapter was so well written, you were on fire!
Anyway, I need to rush off and find out what happens next...I'm SO intrigued about whats happening with Draco! :D
P.S. forgot to tell you in my last review that the idea for the morphing, pulsating blue-bell lights was genius!Author's Response: Thank you darling emerald! I'm pleased that you liked it. It's going to keep getting interesting so hang in there for more. And cheers for your comment about the lighting fixtures in the club scene. I'm a really visual writer I suppose... I get whole story ideas and even bits of dialogue from images in my head; just one image can bring on an avalanche that turns into a story. This story would be a case in point. Anyway... *shakes head to come back to reality* Thanks kindly! Report Review
Oh no! I wrote a lovely long review and then *poof* all gone!
I love, love, loved this chapter! Ok, I think I've said that about all of them...but it is what it is ;) Yay yay yay for Dean getting out and having some good 'ol fashioned fun! I adore Eric and Randal ha ha I think they are SO fabu! And can anyone say HELLO HOT GUYS!!! Yum yum Mr Galec has his sights set on your protagonist but boo to Finnegan for not getting his act together, jumping out the closet and professing his undying love to Dean so that Dean can say 'pooh to you sir, I have a sexy bartender who wants to serve me!' ...with um...drinks. I really love how you write Dean, you made me fall complely head-over-heels for him and the way you described his emotions throughout the night were really wonderful. Since most of my guy friends are gay I know for a fact that you're right on the money describing Dean's first experience in a world that appreciates him for who he really is (a total hottie!)
K, on to the next chapter! Woot woot! xDAuthor's Response: That's the worst... and it feels like when you write it again it just doesn't come out the same. Thanks for taking the time and writing another review... you're a trooper! Once again, your words are quite inspiring and I'm loving that your loving my version of Mr. Thomas. He thanks you kindly and winks. He's got some confidence now so let's see where it takes him... Tally HO! Report Review
Oh no, poor Ginny, I had a feeling that that was what the problem was when the boys saw her at the infirmary, lucky Harry is planning to propose ;)
I'm also really glad that Dean has told someone and that Ginny's reaction was so awesome. I hope he starts having fun now with gorgeous studly men instead of having to wait for Seamus to figure himself out.
I hope you don't mind if I give a bit of constructive crit but it might make the story easier to follow if you put your characters' actions next to their words instead of next to someone else's. It just gets a bit confusing from a reader's point of view trying to figure out who is speaking and who is doing the actions.
Anyway, that is just a very inconsequential note in the face of what is an awesome awesome story. I really am thoroughly enjoying reading this!!!
Tuli xxxAuthor's Response: Good point, I didn't even realize I was doing that so thanks for the feedback. I wished I would've gotten this earlier so I could've put it into effect during this story but alas... I will definitely keep it in mind for anything else I write though. As always your words are golden rays of awesomeness. Criticism is always accepted round these parts m'lady. Besides there's no crying... there's no crying in fanfiction! Report Review
Ha ha ha Ron is SUCH a knob! I feel really bad for Dean though... :(
What Harry said to Ron was gorgeous!Author's Response: I totally was imagining that scene as if it was in a movie when I wrote it lol! Thought it was good way for Harry to express his love for both of his favorite red heads. Glad you liked! Dean has more hardship coming his way so be prepared... how evil of me... mmMMWWaaahaahaa!! Report Review
Oh that is so sweet. I love the way this chapter ended. I really like the way you've constructed your characters by the way, Dean seems absolutely gorgeous and Seamus reminds me of Cook from skins (just less insane, lol). Man Ron is such a prat! He ruined a perfectly good night but it was good characterisation on your part because I'm pretty sure that that is exactly how Ron would react in that situation ;) I've really enjoyed reading Seamus in this chapter, he is such a loose canon but lots of fun and a really loyal friend (even though he obviously struggles to express himself without the aid of alcohol he he he). Gosh I hope things work out for Dean...I really feel for him!Author's Response: I love reading your reviews; they're always so thoughtful! Thanks for that! It's easy for me to see Seamus as the life of the party and we all know Ron can be a prick... no secret there really, lol! I hope I'm doing them all justice. Looking forward to your review on the next chap! Report Review
Ha ha oh my goodness I absolutely loved this!!! Dean is one of my favourite characters and I'm so glad to see a story about him! I'm also glad you haven't changed his race, it drives me nuts when people make him a white guy! I also love that you've made him gay :) the sequence with Seamus in the bathroom was HILARIOUS!!! xD Gosh I really really think I'm going to enjoy this story, thanks so much for writing it!
Tuli xxxAuthor's Response: I agree that's completely annoying when people do that... can't he just stay black and be gay in peace? Damn it! Lol! I'm glad you're digging it. Please keep reading cuz there's more coming that's for sure! Report Review
Whoa. That was absolutely beautiful. It was very real to me and I really loved that you didn't make it all perfect and romantic because sex is anything but. This was so short but so emotionally charged. I wanted to read more because it was so beautifully done but the length is absolutely perfect. A brilliant piece of writing.
Tuli xxxAuthor's Response: Thank you! I think sex should be romantic, ideally, but when you're a teenager making stupid decisions, it really isn't, and that's part of what I wanted to capture is. Thank you so, so much for the sweet review! Report Review
I see you have Kaya Scodelario from Skins on your banner...immediate kudos, Effy is too cool!
I adore your opening chapter, it's hilarious and I snarfed my way through it in record time! I've honestly never read a Tonks POV fic before and you've won a convert in me because I'm seriously enjoying this! Tonks is a character that is definitely underappreciated and the HP books go into so little detail about her past that it's awesome to see you take this on! I love the fact that her and Charlie are best friends and that there are a few sex gods involved (Bill and Cael)...yup, you can never go wrong with sex gods! :D
I really hope you update soon because you've officially got a fan! ;)
Tuli xxxAuthor's Response: Thanks! I love, love Effy! She's so gorgeous and mysterious.
I'm so glad you liked it! I kept reading through it and I started to feel worse and worse about it, like people wouldn't like it, but someone does and I'm really glad. I love, love, love Tonks! She's one of my favorite characters. I was super excited to write this, and I'm really working to make this an amazing story. It's just one of those teen stories! And of course you need sex gods! Nothing makes a story better than hot friends.
I'm so excited to see this review, and I'm definitely finishing chapter two and putting it in the queue! Report Review
Aw, this is such a cute chapter, you maybe just need to work a little on spelling, sentence structure and grammar, but otherwise I enjoyed it.Author's Response: thank you :)
criticism is always welcome :)
I'm always looking for ways to improve
i really appreciate the honesty Report Review
Nice opening to the story, I like the way you lead the reader into the story through memories of an event that has already taken place instead of recounting the event directly. It establishes your storyline and you get a feel for where the characters stand with each other. Your summary is really great by the way, I felt like I just had to find out what was going to happen and I have to say that I'm intrigued. :) On to the next chapter!
Tuli xxxAuthor's Response: thank you so much!
I really appreciate this :)
I hope I can keep you interested throughout the story :) Report Review
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