I already like this story, and it's only the first chapter. And i've never really read many Tonks fics, especially at Hogwarts. In fact, i didnt even realise she could be in the same year as Charlie.
"Those Weasley's are damn fertile, you know." LOL. My favourite line.
And now I also think Arthur/Andromeda should be canon. :PAuthor's Response: Aww, thank you! I'm glad.
And LOL, there may or may not be another mention of it sometime in the future.
Thanks for your review! Report Review
:O James and Astoria? Flirting? That was too funny! And Draco getting all jealous again. I laugh every time I picture his sulking face.
(But I noticed you wrote "I'm not into crable-robbing." so you might want to fix that.)
The more I read Astoria, the more I like her. It was also nice to see her being more serious when she was telling Bill off. But still I liked her when she was thinking 'Or worse - the spawn of Bill Weasley.'
One thing I thought, however was that Scorpius' character still seemed a little one-sided, or shallow. Perhaps some other sides of his character could be developed and shown in the future chapters.
Anyway, the more I read your story, the more I really enjoy it because of your different take on things. Like how Dominique is shy and nervous, not like the loud and rebellious one I read in almost every story.
But then, there will be Rose/Scorpius in this story? But Scorpius seems rather happy with Dominique (oh, Dominic, haha) so maybe some sort of a love triangle? Like Rose and Scorpius get together seemingly all of a sudden and Dominique gets all angry and then not shy? Then Astoria will hate Rose and probably think Dominique was better for Scorpius. OH, OH, OH! And if that happens Draco and Ron will have a MASSIVE FIGHT!! And then Draco will sulk again! Oooo, now I'm excited, even though this is all hypothetical. :)Author's Response: it was just something i could see happening. i made Albus asexual, so why not make James asexual without the 'a'? and Draco = possessive. bless him :')
i'll make sure of it!
i was actually quite worried about the serious bit. it's a little bit of a departure from the rest of the story, so i was kinda paranoid. i'm glad you like her, and well - she just can't resist getting some jabs in at the father of...*shudder*...Dominic.
yes, i noticed that when i was rereading these chapters! don't worry, he'll be coming into the story a bit more over the next few chapters. it's a little difficult to write him, as Astoria's normally very snarky and cynical but he's her son too, so she's very soft on him...argh. cue mental warfare.
YEAH. Dominique has Victoire, the beautiful Teddy-getting older sister, and loud Fleur as a mother. i figured she'd actually perhaps be a little outshone because of all that? :P plus, i love putting a new spin on stuff!
there will be ScoRose. and as to your scenario...well, i'm going to say nothing ;) i'm good at being irritating like that. but it definitely made me chuckle, so i'm glad you have such intriguing hopes for the future of this story! thanks for the reviews! ^^ Report Review
Dominique? Yay for unexpectedness! I was really thinking it was going to be Rose,and to be honest, I am quite glad it's not. I have read far too many Rose/Scorpius stories recently so it's nice for a change.
And asexual Albus! That's also a change from all the Albus/OC stories out there.
While I was reading this, I wondered when and how Astoria became friends with Ginny and the Weasleys. Was it because Scorpius is friends with their children?
And anyway, just as I posted the review for the second chapter, I saw that fourth chapter had been posted too, so now that I've reviewed this one I shall scramble off there to find more of the lovely sulking Draco. :)Author's Response: i love getting surprised by plot twists, so i figured i'd chuck one into my own story. i'm glad you liked it and well...it will have Rose/Scorpius in it, but whether it ends as that, i have no idea. no idea whatsoever.
yeah! i noticed that Albus is nearly always some kind of Love God despite his deaaar dad being described many times as "a scrawny speccy git" (not dissing this Love God thing - it's actually amazing to read sometimes) and again - i like surprises, so i tossed that in too.
Astoria and Ginny? they've met before at various Ministry functions - plus, Ron takes pleasure in investigating Draco EVERY SINGLE TIME there's a newly reported crime so she's become quite familiar with the Weasleys through that. plus, Scorpius is good mates with a lot of Weasley kids, Teddy is Draco's second cousin or something, etc, etc. does that answer your question? :P i'll slip it into the story in future :D
nice timing, eh? ;) ^^ Report Review
A flying carpet? Malfoys are just so cool like that that they use illegal modes of transport, or is it no longer illegal because Theo had one?
Astoria's parents were so... pureblood. Her father was so lost with his gardening obsession and not remembering his wife's name. And Mrs Greengrass, she was just too funny, getting so excited over everything and trying to get Draco to call her mother. I hope we get to see the pair of them again.
And Daphne. Where to start. Sibling rivalry is always so fun to read about. :) I was actually surprised to see Draco purposely flirting with Daphne but then again I loved the unexpectedness of it.
Anyway, what I love about your writing is that it is very funny without overdoing it. I think that your characters seem very much alive and that their interactions seem very realistic, even though what they actually say is kind of really absurd. (I love the way that is, by the way.)
So now that I've left you this lovely review, do I get to keep the moody Draco? Maybe I should also mention how fabulous your writing is again and how I love everything you write? ;)Author's Response: the Malfoys really are just that badass, to be honest. that, and Astoria and Scorpius aren't all that clued-up on magical law, and Draco...is just Draco.
YEAAAH, you got the pureblood thing! all purebloods i read have that haughty, nasty vibe going on, and are all dramatic; i wanted to take that and keep it sort of...realistic, but funny, if that makes sense? i'm glad you liked them. and i think i said it in another review reply...Katrina Greengrass is one of my favourites ;) and favourites always show up again :D
i have sibling rivalry myself, so it's not fun for me (except it is, because i always win). but i love watching my friends bicker with their siblings, and i'm glad you liked how it came across in the story! Draco, Draco, Draco... :')
oh, you're making me blush :P
(little secret of mine - i started this story off actually trying to be completely and utterly serious, with a slight twist of comedy. i realised halfway through that some of it was actually halfway realistic. the rest was just bleeeurghs of sarcasm and 'wittiness'. that might help explain it? :P)
NO. DRACO IS MINE. SORRY.
you can borrow him on thursdays, 'kay? ^^ Report Review
That was so, er, dramatically fluffy! I loved it :) I suppose I was in the mood for some dramatised fluff and I'm so glad I stumbled upon this story.
The interaction between Harry and Dudley was absolutely perfect; a good mix of auror-ness, Dudley-ness and discovering your cousin's not dead.
I enjoyed your writing too; it flowed and was completely believable, even the part about Dudley losing weight (because if I'm honest, I would have never thought that that would happen). Report Review
I've fallen for this story, all the way down the stairs. :P
In all seriousness, I absolutely love reading this and it really makes me laugh. The randomness is actually funny, and not awkward at all. But now I will never think of Santa in the same way - he really is a stalker.
Anyway, I just thought I'd say that the word detention in your chapter image is spelt 'dention'.Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm so glad that you like the story. I have heaps of fun writing it. Oh, yes. Santa is a stalker. As for the chapter image... I just went to look at it. I laughed. A lot. I'm surprised no one has said anything before! I think I'll leave it, though. It's too funny. I'll add a note in the A/N somewhere. It'll be a game to see who's observant. You win! Anyway- back to a somewhat serious note: thank you again for the wonderful review! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story, as well. Report Review
Hello there (:
You've now got me bouncing in my chair wanting to read the rest; I've been looking for a good Hugo story for such a long time.
I really enjoyed reading Neville in this, mostly because your Neville seems so much like the canon Neville but also because he has developed into a different (older) person.
As a prologue, I think it works very nicely, setting up the story and Hugo as a character. And it most definitely makes me want to continue reading. :)
I also really liked how your diction had so many syllables and the sentences were so...full. I think it suited Neville very well, as in the way he would think and talk. Especially since he is a Professor.
Only thing I found slightly awkward was the last two paragraphs. Not the paragraphs itself, because I thought they were written well, but the transitioning from the previous paragraph. I see that there is a line there, meaning it is supposed to be a break (or whatever it's called :P ), but to me, I just felt that the stop was too strong. But it didn't detract much from the story.
Good job :DAuthor's Response: hi!!
i'm so happy to hear that this story does the job of a prologue for you! that's what any writer wants to hear, i believe; that their chapters are effective :)
and i'm also very glad that you thought Neville seemed himself as well, i really love his canon character and try to stay true to that.
hmmm i'll think about the last two paragraphs...i think it is called a page break :) i bet i could have been more subtle about it, i'll think about it!
thanks so much for the review, i appreciate it!! :) Report Review
Well, that was a lot of snogging.
I laughed many times throughout; was a nice break from my homework. :D
I also thought it was very well written in the sense that when read, it could pass as a parody or a 'serious' story.
And I also really loved how Astoria squealed and clapped at the end. I want to say that she acted like a gerbil, but they don't clap do they? Well, for the sake of the review, let's say they do. :)Author's Response: Gerbil it is ;) Thanks. Report Review
I was like 'whaaat?' Fiancee? I actually read it twice just to be sure :P
Funny story. I enjoy the silliness of it, and the overwhelming blondeness. But then, who wouldn't? Rose is mental for hating the blondeness, ay? Looking forward to next chapter :) Report Review
Ahh, I remember reading this story, but I never left a review the first time. Sorry about that. But I'm here now :)
I thought this story was very fluffy, and a refreshing take on next generation quidditch stories. I am actually surprised no one write more stories where the Potter children are full of themselves, considering that they are Harry Potter's children. I especially enjoyed reading it from an eleven year old's perspective. It seems no one does that either.
I think that you made the story very believable throughout. The whole time, I felt like I was really listening to a First Year speaking because even your sentences sounded so First Year. :)
Also, you said that you don't really write humour, but this story made me smile. It's like one of those more subtlely humorous stories, but you know, not that subtle. Anyway, before I go off rambling about the different nuances of fictional prose humour, I'll just stop and say that it was funny.
Keep writing. :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for returning -- it's so brilliant you left a review! In my head the Potter children couldn't be anything but stuck-up. Perhaps not to the same extent, but all that media attention must have affected them somehow.
I love writing eleven-year-olds. I am eleven at heart (seventeen? no! never!) so I feel at home. And I'm glad I sound like a First Year too! I love hearing that I'm writing realistically. And I've become better at humour, I think. I'm getting the hang of it at last.
Thanks again! xx Report Review
"No matter what we do, we all end up working sexy, prestigious Ministry jobs anyway."
Loved that :D
Glad I decided to read this after all because: Narcoleptic + Cynic = :DAuthor's Response: Haha, I did too, actually! And how can a narcoleptic and her cynic (practically nihilist, now that I think about it) best friend not equal hijinks galore? Glad you gave this story a chance and even reviewed! Report Review
I like how you have developed Harry in your own way for the story, but not written him completely OOC. I normally stay away from AU fics because I find it so hard to find a believable plot. I mean, there are some things you just know Harry would never do, no matter how AU the plot is. (Sorry if that makes no sense)
The chapter flows nicely together. I think you've transitioned the point of view changes well, as they naturally fit together when reading. The mood and atmosphere are also well written and definitely helps the flow as well. The tension is not excessively done, but is just right to intrigue me.
I am very curious to see where this story will go now :)Author's Response: Made perfect sense. Thank you very much for the compliments. Hope I can keep managing to deliver. Report Review
I'm surprised this story doesn't have more reviews. It's a very good story. :)
You have definitely explained the first story concisely yet still with enough detail so the reader knows what's going on. And you most certainly maintain interest throughout the entire chapter.
With characterisations, I think you have done a really good job with all of the characters here. Harry, I think, is particularly well portrayed - you have captured him perfectly.
Keep writing. I enjoyed this a lot (:Author's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
Original plot. I like :)
The characters are written well, portrayed realistically in that humorous way. It'll be interesting to see how they develop. Personally I like Scorpius' character. I especially enjoy how James verbally trashes him. Makes for very entertaining reading.
One thing I'd like to point out is in the formatting, a few of the paragraphs just looked too close together for me to read comfortably. From 'She didn't answer her phone, so I decided I'd go and visit her' to 'then Apparated to Diagon Alley with a crack.'
Other than that, a fun story. :)Author's Response: Yay for originality! Glad you like.
I'm all about characters really, not much good at plotting, so I kind of just hang everything on them. Haha I muchly enjoyed writing Scorpius like that, the normal characterisation of him drives me insane, so kind of just took him the opposite way.
Thanks for that note on that formatting, I'll see what I can do with an edit.
Once again, I really am glad you liked it and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Haha, I love that bit about the showering at the end.
Ah, now it makes sense why Lysander and Lorcan are not as close as I would have expected.
Hermione also made me laugh; i can just picture her doing that. In fact it reminds me of my own mum doing that to me. :)Author's Response: I'm glad you've made some connections in this chapter. And yes, I did try to make Hermione one of those typical over-reactive mothers because that's just how I imagined her growing up. But anyway, thanks for the lovely review :) Report Review
Great story so far, I'm really looking forward to an update. I don't usually read AU stories because I find the plots too unbelievable and the characters are nearly always out of character. But I think you've definitely got all your characters down, even some of the more complex ones like Dumbledore and Harry, and your plot is something I can really see happening. Hope you update soon :)Author's Response: I'm glad you've enjoyed this so far! I work hard to make my characters believable, and my plot's constantly becoming more complicated (and therefore harder to write). I'm happy you like it. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Great as usual. I'm really looking forward to know more about all these characters and their personalities, especially James. He seems like a really interesting character :)
Personally, I think that this was a good place to end the chapter though, even if the chapter was a bit short. I think that if you had added more, it probably would have taken away from the context of the chapter.Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you want to know more about James, I thought people might love Al too much to care about him... but James is important! Glad you liked the chapter anyway, thank you for your comments and I hope you keep reading! Report Review
Well honestly I thought that this chapter was good. I mean, it didn't feel too rushed, just a little um compacted, if you get my drift. :)
I hope you don't mind if I say this, but when I compare your story to the original Uglies, I felt that Tally's travellings were dragged on for too long, so I thought yours was better.
I like how you've shown different sides of Cassie in this chapter. At Hogwarts, she was more of the rebel and the most adventurous. But here, just seemed so innocent at the end compared to everyone else. I suppose it was because she had been "dumbed down" and not exposed to the same things as everyone else since she was at Hogwarts.
Keep it up! :)Author's Response: Thank you, thats so good to hear! And thats exactly what I thought about Uglies, I'm not so into the whole action/nature/journey thing, I find it a lot easier to write about people and interactions rather than the setting or whatever! And I'm glad you think that about Cassie being the rebel one at school and then she's sort of getting out and realising she's not so tough as she thought, because that's exactly it! Glad you like the story anyway and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this. It was an interesting take on Hermione's life and something I could definitely see her doing. Very well written too :)Author's Response: Thank you! I've always been curious about how Hermione made the move into a law career, I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
I knew that some things felt familiar! I love the way you've portrayed the Potters. Well actually i love all your characterizations, even dumbledore :)
I can't wait to see what you'll do with thisAuthor's Response: A lot more people have read those books than I thought then! Glad you like it anyway, thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I absolutely love this story! I have been looking for a story like this for a long time, you know, one that is different and not the usual 'everyone lived happily ever after' clichés. I like being confused! :)Author's Response: Thanks again, I'm kind of with you on that... there are so many stories about how everything is fine now and well I thought we were missing on about how it's not! Report Review
Wow! Very well written; I am definitely hooked!Author's Response: thanks, im glad you like it. hope you keep reading! Report Review
Wow! This story is so addicting! I love it!
Normally time travelling stories are just terribly written, but yours was so good. The plot was very imaginative, not like the usual breaking time turner, blah, blah, blah, either. :)
10/10 Report Review
"It...it smells like lemon,"
Well I know that your story isn't meant to be humourous but I couldn't help but chuckle, if not laugh at that. It's so Dumbledore - if that makes sense.
Plus I really like your plot. :) Report Review
Are you ever going to finish this story?
I loved it. It was such an amazing storyline Report Review
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