Great chapter, to go with a great story. It had a very nice flow and characterization that made the character easy to like. I can't wait to see the direction you take this story in. It holds a lot of promise.Author's Response: Hi cochran, thanks for the review.
I very much agree about the flow, it seems to move very effortlessly when I really get down into the story and I'm glad that translates in the reading. I've had a great time with this write because the characters are very potent in my mind, and that always helps.
Thanks again for the review.
BB Report Review
Very interesting chapter, I was surprised by the direction it took but I still loved it. Your characterization is great for all of them and you do a great good of giving each character depth. I really like it and can't wait for the next chapter.Author's Response: Thanks! I really wasn't sure whether readers would agree with what happened but I guess I thought wrong! Thank you so much for the review and hopefully i'll be able to put the next chapter up soon :)
Very sad story but very well written. I loved the way you portrayed him, it seemed very fitting. The story had great flow and nice depth. Wonderful story.Author's Response: Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed it :D xxx Report Review
The chapter has nice flow and it is written very smoothly. I like the way you have the constable written because it differs so much from Tonks. Really a great story.Author's Response: Thanks, cochran! It was wonderful hearing from you. Your feedback was so very encouraging. ^_^
I hope you have a great weekend!
celticbard Report Review
Very interesting first chapter, not at all what I expected but wonderful all the same. I really liked the way you portrayed Tonks, it was like you could sense her fear.Author's Response: Thank you so much, cochran! I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter. It took me forever to write. First chapters are always tricky for me. ;)
I really do appreciate your feedback and support. It was wonderful hearing from you. ^_^ Take care!
celticbard Report Review
Very interestinf first chapter, I really liked the characterization you had. It's is also very well written and has a very original idea that really draws in all sorts of readers. Overall great beginning. I loved it.Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you found the characterization mostly because that, for me, was the hardest part to write for both the HP part and the Percy Jackson characters. Anyway, thank you once again for taking your time to read and review! I appreciate it a lot! :) Report Review
Very interesting chapter it evolved really well and had great flow.The only suggestion is to add more details so the readers know exactly what is going on. Great chapter though.Author's Response: thank you for the compliment! I WILL try to write a little more specifically, and I hope you still read my story! I am currently halfway writing Chapter 3. Please be a little patient and then , "voila!" it's done! :) Report Review
Alright hopefully this time it submits. Anyway I loved your story very much. The flow was smooth and I feel like you made the characters very believable which was nice. It was interesting to watch Draco fall in and out of love with her. I hope this ends up as more than a one shot because there are so many different directions you could take it. Great story.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it so much and that if flowed well. Its a relief to know that the characters seem believeable!
And I will be extendin this as that is the feedback that I seem to be getting, and people wanting more can't be a bad thing!
Thanks again! Report Review
Wow what a great story. I know it tool me a long time to get to it review but that's because I read the summary and wanted to read the whole thing and not just two chapters. Excellent depiction of the characters, it makes me sad though that Harry isn't very loyal to her. I love that you final got some romance going though that's exciting. It's got amazing flow and a great story line. I can't wait to read more! Report Review
All the characters are very well written. I love the way you introduced them to one another. The story line is very interesting and I can't wait to see where you take it. It flows nicely and keeps readers interested.Author's Response: thank you once more. I'm glad you like the characters, i just felt we know so little about the founders that there is a lot of potential. I forgot to say, the decision to make the style modern was a deliberate one, because I felt it would detract from the story if I was always studying for a more archaic phrasing. I'm also really happy you think it flows - as some people felt the changing in point of view was a little difficult to follow. next chapter should be up soon, hopefully :) Report Review
It's a very well thought out story, and has great flow with a nice sense of humor tossed in. There isn't much to say about it because it's not very long but I would try and make sure the language fits with that of the time. I really like it though.Author's Response: thank you for the lovely review :)
The chapters are starting to get a little longer, and hopefully stuff will actually start happening soon... Report Review
Great idea for a story but you have tons of spelling issues, along with the fact that you change tenses throughout the story too. You should look into getting a beta who will help you not only with the spelling but the grammar also.Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback it's much obliged,
harmony Report Review
Very interesting beginning it really draws the readers in. It's interesting starting a story with two OC's because no one knows anything about them but because of that your characters need to be intriguing and likeable. With that said I think both of them are they just need a bit more depth to them so readers feel connected right away.Author's Response: Depth. Right. *scurries off to find the notebook with all the character charts she stuffed somewhere and can't find right now*
I'm glad you like it! *goes off to request more reviews from you* :)
Thanks so much! Report Review
Man I love Cedric and I love you story. I can't wait for the next chapter. Once again very well written. I loved it.Author's Response: Thanks! I found as I wrote this that I began to love Cedric too. Report Review
Very well written, it is an interesting story line and you are a very talented writer. The story makes you hate Draco and like him all at the same time. I liked the subtle amount of Harry/Ginny you have in there. Overall great story and I can't wait to read more.Author's Response: Thank you! =] Are you favoriting? Report Review
You know I've never read a Draco/oc before and it was interesting to see the dynamics you had between all of the characters that you wrote. I think you do an incredible job of writing Draco, I think you are very accurate with how you portray him and a lot of writers struggle with that. I'm very interested to see direction you take this story in. And
I can't wait to read more.Author's Response: Thank you for that review! I'm happy to know that you think my perception of Draco was accurate. I made sure to get everything right (almost!). Thanks again! Report Review
You're stories are some of my favorites when it comes to the marauders because I love that they are dark and not always Sirius/oc. So thank you for writing the stories you do.Author's Response: Thank you so much, cochran. Sometimes I feel like people don't really appreciate these stories. I don't want to call people shallow, but its like some people refuse to read anything but romance. I've even gotten reviews about that before, asking why I have no romance and instructing me to put some in if I want the story to be better.
Anyway, thank you for this review, and for appreciating the way I write. Report Review
Anyway I had just typed a nice long review for you then my internet bounced so I'm starting over. First there were two little mistakes that if you reread the chapter you'll notice, just missed letters. Secondly I'm glad I'm finished with all the other stories I had to review because now I can read your all the way through finally. Thirdly I'm very excitied to see how the talk goes between the two of them, you are great at leaving the readers wanting more. Fourthly hurry up and get 16 validated so I can find out what happens.Author's Response: Yuck, I hate it when that happens, lol! I didn't know you hadn't read it all the way through yet though!! How can you pick up in the middle of a story like that, aren't you confused? I know I would be, lol! I never could read things spontaneously like that. I always have to do it consecutively, or I get totally lost, so I admire your ability to do that, lol! ^_^'
Anyhow, I am excited you have time to go back through now too, lol! I can't wait to hear what you think about the rest!
As for chapter 16, I am almost done writing it right now, and then I have to turn it in to my Beta and edit it before I submit it. I am not a TA yet, so it'll have to wait in the queue for a while, so sadly, the next update won't be for a while I'm afraid... Like a week or 2 maybe. ): So sorry!
But I am glad that you liked it, and even though her talk with Voldemort isn't exactly shown in the next chapter, it will be mentioned again later on. I took 16 in a different direction, but I still think that everyone is going to be pleasantly surprised with how it ends!
I'd better stop now though, before I wind up giving too much away, lol! Thanks again for the review cochran!! =) Report Review
Very catchy first chapter that really draws in readers. I like the way you involved honour more than once. I also liked the way you introduced Remus and Lily into the story. I can't wait to read more of your writing.Author's Response: sorry, for the late response, I wrote one and it got deleted. thanks again for the lovely review; I'm really glad you found it funny. I really enjoyed writing it. Report Review
Very funny story. I liked that they didn't end up winning like most would guess they would. You did a great representation of each character and they were all written with strong traits that really added to the storyAuthor's Response: Once more, thank you so much. I really wanted to avoid the overused cliches, and the story just flowed better when they lost. Report Review
Great story, very well written with a great original idea. You've done a great job of of giving each of the characters a very strong personality. The only suggestion I have is a bit more Peter since he was their friend. lol Overall wonderful story I hope you let me know when it is updated so I can keep reading.Author's Response: Yeah I know I have to work on trying to get Peter in more, I tend to forget about him sometimes lol :)
Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked it!
x Report Review
"I with she’d grow it out longer" I'd guess you meant with to be wish. I love your story, you do a great job of depicting Cedric. The orginal characters are well written with individual personalities which is nice. And I like that it was cho that walked through the door because it wasn't expected. Great story and I can't wait to read more.Author's Response: I changed the typo. Thanks for pointing that out!
I love putting in the unexpected, though so far there's not a huge element of surprise. I'm trying to change that- predictable, for me, = boring. Glad you enjoyed it!!! Report Review
I like that you started with Remus' POV, it made it interesting from the get go. It has great humor but you should try and add more depth and detail to it so that the readers feel more connected to each character. Also watch your transitions so that it flows a little better and so readers don't have to reread to understand. I really liked the beginning and I hope that you ask for more reviews when you have more chapters up so I can read more of this story.Author's Response: I'm glad you liked our start-off with Remus. I chose him because, well he is the.. let me say, the normal one? I can't describe, AND he is the last one to die. (be proud of it, moony!) I will try to do exactly what you suggested to me on doing and last of all, I thank you for reading this chapter! (bow)
Once again another well written chapter. You wrote ass which I would change to arse because they are in England and there are 2-3 word errors but other than that it is a very well thought out story and written very well. If you need reviews again please ask because I'd love to read more of your story.Author's Response: Thanks! I have a Beta now, and we are working on editing all the chapters at the moment. So hopefully those word errors won't be there for too much longer!! :)
Once again, I am so happy that you liked it, and I will definitely let you know when the next chapter is up! I am hoping to see it up here any time now, cuz it's been in the queue for 6 days now... When I first submitted it, it said the wait was only 23 hours, so I have NO idea what's going on with it... But it ought to be here soon I hope!! Thanks again for the awesome reviews!! =) Report Review
Very interesting story. You are a very strong writer and it without a doubt draws readers into your story. I like that youhave Draco open up and you do incredible job of describing things so that the reader can imagine it.Author's Response: Oh my goodness, wow! Thank you very much! I am so glad you liked it!!
Thanks for the awesome review cochran!! =) Report Review
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