Reading Reviews From Member: SunshineDaisies
  
113 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SunshineDaisiesIsabella: Thirteen Candles

3rd June 2015:
Hello there! Here for the swap!

I've been meaning to read this since you told me about it. I'm pretty sure I have the first chapter saved somewhere. I'm so disappointed I didn't get to it until now! I knew right away that this would be full of beautiful images and would spin a really beautiful story. I was proven right!

I'm so excited to read about magic in Mexico! You're right, magic in other countries is hardly ever written about, and all of the stories I've seen have been about South Asia. Which is FANTASTIC, but something different is always nice. Plus, I'm more connected to Mexico than I am South Asia. I don't live anywhere near the boarder (anywhere near the Mexico/US boarder) but my hometown has a pretty significant latinx population, and most of that consists of immigrants from Mexico. There's been a pretty big push from that community to celebrate the culture more, so I've gotten to see quite a bit of the culture. I'm so excited to see how you incorporate magic into it!

Now that I've rambled I'll actually talk about the story!

As I mentioned earlier, the images in this are STUNNING. I'm always impressed by them. (Which is why I mention them in every review I leave you.) I'm pretty sure I could leave you 6000 characters just about how you use all five senses to create such vivid images and how the description of the storm was just BEAUTIFUL and the scene where her skirt flies up is gorgeous and all of it was just so wonderful.

I think this was a great set up to the story. You gave us a typical day in Isabella's world (assuming her name is Isabella), with just a few hints of something stirring, and then THAT ABSOLUTE PROOF THAT SOMETHING IS STIRRING. It was an excellent way to gold a reader's attention. The beginning kept me enthralled with the images, the ending hooked me on the plot.

I'm so excited to see what's coming next. Who is the crazy old lady? Why is she there? I have some suspicions, obviously, but I have no idea how they're going to play out.

I think it's interesting you've chosen to start on the eve of her thirteenth birthday rather than the fifteenth, as that one tends to be more important. But I suppose that the scale of hosting a Quinceanera is probably enough reason to not start at magic school that year.

So overall a FANTASTIC start, and I'm really excited to read more!

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Review #2, by SunshineDaisiesHarry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Godfather

3rd June 2015:
Hey there Kenny! Sorry it took me so long to get here! Real life got a bit busy for a while. (Busy and internet-less. It was terrible.)

Okay, so I really like the progression of the plot here! It's a simple step forward, just another mention of the Druids, but I like that. It's obviously important to the plot, but it isn't obnoxiously obvious. I'm a big fan of subtlety, personally, so I think this was an excellent way to start!

I loved the scene by the Black Lake. It was intense and dramatic, and certainly added a bit of suspense! It was a great way hold interest while subtly progressing the main plot. It's very reminiscent of the actual Harry Potter books, there's all sorts of smaller things going on all the time, and those scenes almost always contribute to the overarching plot at some point. I think your story matches up very well with that, which is always nice to read. However, I do think this scene was a bit confusing. I wasn't sure who was volunteering and who was training. I wasn't sure of who even was in the group! I think you could make it much clearer with a bit of tweaking.

I think your characterization was pretty on point too. Ginny is certainly someone who would make Harry rescue Padma first, and Harry would absolutely freak out when the stone didn't work immediately. It was an excellent example of showing their character. I'm not sure Ginny would concede so readily to Harry asking her not to volunteer. She seems more the type to respond to that by saying "I'll do what I please, thank you." But people sometimes react differently after a stressful event.

I'm not sure how I feel about Harry's animagus form being a horse. It just seems his character is much more suited to a stag, and I feel like Harry and Ginny both have such strong personalities that they wouldn't change for each other. Of course, this is more a matter of personal opinion than anything. (I have many, many thoughts about couples having matching patronuses.)

The only other thing I think you could work on is the dialogue. It reads pretty stiff and unnatural now, which makes it more difficult to read. Writing good dialogue is pretty difficult and takes a TON of practice to get right. My advice for that would be to practice! And listen to English songs/movies/TV shows etc. It'll help give you a grasp on the way people speak.

All in all, a very good second chapter!

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Review #3, by SunshineDaisiesApple Island: water's edge

18th May 2015:
Woah. Woah.

Woah.

I am like, speechless. I read some of your stories around Keckers time, and none of your stories have ever failed to leave me absolutely breathless. Your writing is stunning. I donít think Iíve ever read an author who has the same talent for description that you do. You create such vivid images with such beautiful words in such creative ways, itís amazing.

Back in the kitchen, the sun is rubbing colour off the tiles and the gingham and the wallpapered flowers and the tea-towel on its hook.

Iím so amazed by this sentence. Who thinks to describe light this way??? Who??? You.
That is so beautiful, and itís describing such an ordinary situation. Youíve brought beauty to the mundane. The whole piece is that way. Every single sentence seems so elegantly crafted, itís like youíve weaved together these words to create intricate lacework. So beautiful. So nice to read.

AND I HAVE SUCH A THING FOR PRETTY LANGUAGE I AM A SUCKER FOR STUFF LIKE THIS IT WILL GET ME EVERY TIME.

So now that Iíve raved enough about your writing, Iíll get to the actual story.
Iím not very well versed in mythology, so I think Iím missing a couple of references, but it hardly matters. (Are you referencing mythology? Iím not entirely sure and I do not have internet right at this moment to check.) Everything is just as unfamiliar to me as it is to Andromeda, and youíve explained it in such a way that it makes sense. The way you wrote Andromeda remembering the island very much felt like I was remembering it with her, the knowledge came to me at the same time it came to her. Itís such a good exposition technique.

I love how we see everything from Andromedaís perspective just in general. You use this technique super effectively in a lot of different ways. The passage of time, for example. The reader, like Andromeda, has no idea that itís been eight years since Teddy and Victoire disappeared or that Molly died. Itís given Andromeda a sense of unreliability which makes the story so much more interesting to read. I think that quite often, unreliable narrators come off as self-serving, or bad in some way. It feels like the reader is being lied to. In this case, youíve made Andromeda sympathetic in just about every way. It isnít her fault sheís not telling the truth, sheís basically gone mad with grief. She outlived her happiness. (WHAT A GREAT LINE LIKE FOR REAL THE WHOLE THING IS FULL OF THEM AND I CANíT GET OVER IT.)

And the fact that youíve made us question Andromedaís grip on reality makes the whole thing more mysterious. Is this real? Or is it just happening inside her head? Why should that mean itís not real? (Iím not sure why Iím quoting things today. Itís been a weird day.)

Essentially, youíve crafted an interesting enough first chapter that Iím pretty much dying for more. This whole thing is just fascinating and engaging and absolutely wonderful. Iíve never read anything even remotely similar to this and I am so excited to read more!

This is really, truly excellent writing. Good work doesnít even begin to cover it. :)

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Review #4, by SunshineDaisiesElsewhere: Elsewhere

15th May 2015:
What an interesting read! Iím a pretty die hard James/Lily shipper, but I found myself enjoying this nonetheless. I love the way you captured James here. Iíve always seen him as the most nurturing of the group, and that definitely comes into play here. James would be the one pacing the hospital wing waiting for Remus, whether or not he fancied him. I love seeing this side of James, itís pretty ignored in most fic and finding it always brightens my day.

I think the way you described the emotions and confusion James was having was great. The feelings definitely came through appropriately, and sucked me right in. Same with the confusion. I felt the self-questioning right along with James. I love how that played out. It just seems like such a realistic reaction to have when you first start feeling things you arenít used to, and youíre not really sure youíre supposed to be feeling. And it was so enjoyable to sort of go through that journey with him! I loved watching the progression of his feelings, from knowing his eye color to knowing he really liked him. It was such nice, natural, interesting development!

I would also like to say that I like how youíve made Jamesís sexuality a little bit ambiguous. He could easily be bi, but you also hinted that he hadnít liked very many people, so he could be pan or demi as well. Horray for representation!

This was a really charming story and Iím very glad I branched out to give it a try! :)

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Review #5, by SunshineDaisiesThe Shadows Within: Chapter 6 - 99... Red Balloons?

15th May 2015:
THE PATRONUS CHARM!

MY FAVORITE JILY TROPE OF ALL TIME YES IíM SO EXCITED!!!

Okay really though, Iím so excited about that scene! Itís obviously been done quite a lot in fic (THEY MATCH AND ITíS SO CUTE HOW COULD ANYONE RESISIT?), but it is rarely done this well! Usually itís just like ďGasp! I have a doe! You have a stag! Gasp!Ē ďLooks like weíre soulmates, Evans.Ē
Which is dumb and boring. Itís much more realistic to have them start working on it in class, and have them struggle with it. Especially Lily. I lovelovelove the reflection she has about memories. Itís so true, even the happiest memories can become tainted by other bad feelings.

I think one of the reasons I love patronus charms in fic is because of all the discussion of memory it allows. Memories are such an interesting, intimate topic, and I think that holds even more true in the world of Harry Potter. Like, you can go into peopleís memories. YOU CAN SHARE YOUR MEMORIES. HOW COOL IS THAT?

Okay, sorry. Needless to say I am very much looking forward to more patronusing in the future.

(Iím a bit concerned about the Slytherins trying to cast the charm in class though, I donít think it would go over well for the professor if one of her students was devoured by maggots in the middle of a lesson.)

AND THE PRANK.

This chapter was filled with so much stuff that I love I was grinning the entire time I swear.

The prank was brilliant! Clever and funny and mostly harmless, just the way I like them. I loved James stepping up to stop Lily from being attacked by floating spheres. Did not so much like Sirius pointing out why he did it. James could just as easily have done it because heís a genuinely nice person and thinks of Lily as a friend. Geez Sirius, calm down. BE NICE TO JAMES. And stop being rude to Lily.

Okay so obviously I really enjoyed this chapter. I would like to see a bit more of Lilyís friends now! Itís just getting to the point where I know Iím supposed to care about these characters, but Iím not really invested yet. Definitely hoping to see more soon! :)

Author's Response: Ah, I'm glad you like the Patronuses. Since Lupin tells Harry that grown wizards can struggle with it I really wanted to avoid making it look too easy. That and shoving the doe and stag thing in early can be a bit cheesy (cute, but it can go wrong so fast, like you said).

Your comment about the Slytherins made me laugh. When coming up with this I was trying to resist the urge to give them all gross, creepy animals which can be hard when you know how despicable a lot of them are.

And yes to the prank. I wanted him to seem more mature, which meant things had to go the mostly harmless route rather than the attacking Slytherins route.

I *think* the next chapter has more of Lily's friends. (Does it ever happen to you that you forget when things happen? haha) I am definitely seeing the downside of the large cast I ended up creating!

Thanks for the lovely long review. =)


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Review #6, by SunshineDaisiesSunset Inn: Sunset Inn

15th May 2015:
I was so excited to find this! Iíve been thinking a lot about Bertha lately, sheís such a fascinating character, and we hardly know anything about her. Definitely a fun one to explore through fic. I love the way youíve interpreted her here. It would be very easy to play her off as a ditz, or else make fun of her in some way or another. Instead, you made her a very real, relatable person. She isnít a caricature, sheís a character. Itís always lovely to read something with good characterization, itís even better to find good characterization of an extremely minor character. So this is the epitome of lovely, really.

I think the way you describe the scenery and her travels is just gorgeous. You can tell from the words you choose that Bertha thinks the landscape is amazing, you can almost feel her excitement. I got that little hitch in my breath that happens when you see something stunning for the first time. In fact, the description throughout the piece was fantastic! It was so wonderful to read.

I loved the way the plot played out here. From the beginning, we know this trip isnít going to end well for her, but how it all plays out stays a mystery right up until the end. Even now, you havenít given us the whole story, youíve left quite a bit to the imagination. (And you know, I think Iíd prefer to leave what follows unimagined.) I really liked how you focused the majority of the story on Bertha and her adventures, creating the character first so we have someone to root for. And giving Bertha a final happy moment :í(.

The flow of the piece felt very natural, which I think is impressive because again, it would have been easy to just toss Peter in without really explaining why, or giving the two a proper reason to bump into each other. It very easily could have felt forced or awkward, but having them stay at the same hotel (the only place in town to stay!), made the whole thing really plausible.

I think my favorite part was the Sunset Inn itself. I think itís very clever and sort of morbidly beautiful to have Bertha staying at the Sunset Inn before meeting her own personal sunset. sigh

Overall, a really, really wonderful story! Thank you for sharing!

(On a side note, I think this really showed your own passion for travel. It seeped through the screen and really added a lot to the story. Itís also fairly obvious that you did research Albania, and I really appreciate the respect that shows toward other countries and cultures. In sum, youíre ace keep it up.)
:)

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Review #7, by SunshineDaisiesIt Used To Be Worse Here : It Used To Be Worse Here

15th May 2015:
Okay so I saved this to read it offline, and so I didn't see the summary. I had no idea who this story was about and it made it very, very exciting. I wrote a review for it last night after I read it and here it is:

Oh my god that was NOT what I was expecting. At all. Even a little. What a story to tell in so few words! Still impressive, even if itís not exactly 500 :)
I love the structure of this. I love how we start off in Azkaban before flashing back to how we got to Azkaban, and then heading back. That is a funny sentence, but you get what I mean, yeah? It was super effective. You described the jail cell perfectly. I knew immediately where we were, but I had no idea who ďyouĒ was. Keeping that a bit mysterious was really effective as well. It made the reveal SO DRAMATIC.
SUCH A GOOD PLOT TWIST. I DONíT EVEN KNOW IF THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST BUT IT WORKED REALLY WELL AS ONE.
I loved the first and last sections of this especially. ďIt used to be worse here, at least thatís what they say,Ē seem so melodic and it carries through the rest of the piece as well. It gives a whole thing a very lyrical quality which works so well with the mysterious vibe and the second person pov.
This was really wonderful! Great work!

I really enjoyed reading this! :)

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Review #8, by SunshineDaisiesChai, Zebras, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Zebras, and a Surprise

15th May 2015:
So I've been saving stories as pdfs to my computer so I can read this offline and write reviews even when I don't have internet, and I saved this one AND IT CUT OFF AFTER "Did you make a wish?" AND IT WAS THE MOST STRESSFUL MOMENT OF MY LIFE.

I was so pleased to see that it didn't actually end there, though I'm a little disappointed the ending didn't go quite like I'd hoped. You know, with declarations of love and snogging. Alas, this ending is probably a bit more realistic.

But Neville, bro, you missed an opportunity there.

Like the last time, I really did adore this. This is such a sweet series! I love seeing the little snippets from Hannah and Neville's relationship, without seeing every little detail. You've given enough information that we can imagine it on our own. It's a really enjoyable way to read a story!

I don't think I can give you much more detail without saying exactly what I did in my last review. So basically, these are just so absolutely wonderful and I LOVE them sososo much.

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Review #9, by SunshineDaisiesUnravel. : Blaise.

10th May 2015:
Hello!

This was such a pleasure to read! I don't read much about Slytherins, so it's always a nice change of pace to read something from their perspective. I think you've done an excellent job with Blaise here! Obviously, we don't see much of him in canon, but I think you've done a really wonderful job of capturing his character. You can sense his haughty attitude toward others, the way he views himself, all of that. It's so delightful to read such good characterization.

The narration certainly helped along the characterization! You've created a really vivid voice. It makes his character much clearer, and makes the whole thing that much more compelling to read. The tone of the whole piece is just so on point, it's a little ridiculous. I love that you conveyed exactly how Blaise felt about Theo without saying the word "love" until the very end. It really packed a punch when you did use it!

And goodness, the emotion throughout the whole thing! It was absolutely gorgeous.
"Your eyes bore into my like the devil - boundless, cruel, and mysterious - and I knew I was falling. And you, Theodore Nott, were the one I was falling for." So beautiful. You've done a really, really fantastic job with this.

I really liked how you developed his feelings as well. It seemed to be a really natural development of romantic attraction. It seemed like a slow build up, despite the fact that it's a one-shot. It's very well done!

I think Blaise's reaction to being in love with Theo is pretty on point too. He's thinking about how it looks, and appearances are everything to him. It's so appropriate to his character. And I love that you can hear that in his voice as well. He's in love with Theo, and he's not happy about it. The last line is almost unnecessary because it's so plain in the tone of the piece. Of course, displaying it and then saying it really do make for a powerful last line.

There were a couple of sentences that seemed like they were missing words, "I know you donít catch the way my gaze lingers than itís meant to," for example seems like it's missing the word "longer." It's not a big deal, nothing another read over won't fix!

Overall this was a really wonderful read! Good work!

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Review #10, by SunshineDaisiesThe Shadows Within: Chapter 5 - A Proposition

9th May 2015:
Hiya!

I have obviously been slacking at keeping up with the stories I'm reading. You have ten chapters up and I had no idea? I'm impressed. It takes me months to write chapters so I just don't expect other people to put them up so quickly! It's nice I've got something to read now that school's finished :)

I think this chapter is a bit short, not in word count necessarily, there's just not a lot that happens. I loved reading about James's prank on Sirius and Lily's reflection, but I think there could be a little more to advance the plot, at least as far as the Gryffindors are concerned.

That said, THE SLYTHERINS. One of my favorite things about this story is the Avery side plot and I was SO EXCITED to see Avery in the summary. That section was an excellent addition to the chapter, and it certainly advanced the plot! I think you timed it very well within the story as well. We've had a few solid chapters on Lily and James, and I think it was a very appropriate time to bring Avery back into it. I was starting to wonder what he was up to and BAM. AVERY. It was perfect.

I mentioned this at the beginning, but THAT PRANK. I absolutely adored reading that. I think it was a really perfect display of James maturing. It was a perfectly harmless prank played on a friend rather than an enemy, and it was funny! Really excellent characterization there! And "Somebody has to stand up to them." PERFECT JAMES. That's such a James thing to say.

I love reading more about Lily and Aurora's relationship as well! It seems like an interesting match, and at the beginning I certainly didn't expect that those two would be best friends. It seemed like Lily would be more drawn to the more reserved girls. But you know, she does end up married to James, so that could be a severe misjudgment on my part.

I'm excited to read more about Lily's other friends as well! They weren't mentioned much here, but I really hope to see them again soon! They are such a lovely, likable, unique group of ocs, and it's so rare to find that in fic. (Also, the fact that Lily has a lot of friends! So accurate.)

Anyway this was another lovely chapter! I'm excited to keep reading! :)

Author's Response: Hi Katie. Thanks for reviewing again.

To be fair, I had written up to this point already so I only have to edit as I go. This definitely helps with my uploading speed. (For now at least, I have to change up some things soon.)

I'm glad you like the Slytherins! It's actually something Avery related I want to fix up in a future chapter and down the line he's slated for a chapter that is pretty much all him.

I'll work to add more action for you. =) There is some more in the future (the most recent chapter, for example) but I'll try to amp it up a bit. To be honest, I struggle a bit with making action scenes seem realistic but as the war builds I'm coming around to them.

Yes to everything about James! I'm glad you like him.

Thanks again! =)


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Review #11, by SunshineDaisiesThe Wrinkles of the Road: Scorpius. --- An Unexpected Friendship.

6th May 2015:
Hello!

I went back and read through the first few chapters again and the new beginnings and endings work perfectly! Having all the chapters start in a brand new scene somehow makes the whole thing work together much more effectively.

The flow was good all the way through what I read tonight, so it seems to me the rest of the story will keep on trend. :)

I think the group of Rose chapters actually worked really well! It was a bit out of pattern, but I think that's what's best for the story. Rose is where the bulk of the action is for that set of chapters, so it makes sense to keep the narrative focused on her. I know I was far more interested in seeing the lunch from Rose's point of view, and having those three chapters focus on the build up, then the event, then her reactions is really nice to read. It keeps her thoughts and feelings more cohesive. It would've felt a bit disjointed to jump right into Scorpius's thoughts and feelings.

And just when I was starting to miss Scorpius's pov, this chapter happened! The timing was absolutely perfect.

As for chapter specific things, I loved reading about James and Scorpius. I haven't read CINAS, so it didn't seem terribly surprising for me, but I did enjoy the fact that Scorpius seemed surprised. It was a really nice conversation between the two, and I really look forward to seeing more of their friendship!

I really liked reading about Scorpius's reaction to the lunch, and his reaction to Rose's reaction. I love that they aren't a perfect couple. They argue and disagree about all sorts of things, but then work really hard to fix it because they love each other. It's so nice to read about a relationship that's realistic in this way. It doesn't happen terribly often.

Like last time, this was a really lovely read and I'm excited to read the rest! :)

Author's Response: Hey! I'm so glad that you thought the changes I made worked - thank you again for pointing out the issues. You're wonderful. ♥

I'm also really happy the clump of Rose chapters worked. There are a few points in the story where there's a clump of one or the other - I'm currently in the middle of what's probably going to be a clump of six or seven Scorpius chapters in a row, because the narrative kind of requires it, and I always worry when that happens... but at the same time, I obviously don't want to break them up just to break them up.

I'm glad you liked Scorpius and James. In CINAS, they weren't quite enemies, but they weren't friends, either - I'm happy that Scorpius's surprise worked for you, having not read CINAS! I really do want this to be able to stand on its own, because it's a very different kind of story.

I'm also really happy that their relationship is coming across as realistic, because that was something that was really important to me. I don't want it all to be smooth sailing, but I also don't want to let their affection and attachment get lost. It's a balancing act, and I'm perpetually nervous that I'm not getting it right. :P

Thank you so much for your wonderful review! ♥ ♥


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Review #12, by SunshineDaisiesTraitorous Hearts: The Lady of Greengrass Hall

6th May 2015:
Hello! So I'm not sure I'll be quite as helpful as last time, as I think this is a pretty solid chapter.

I love the tone you use in this. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but it's wonderfully suited to this story. The short and rather blunt sentences are so impactful, and they really do a lot for the story.

"And that was the end of Lavinia Greengrass."

I love this line so much. It cuts straight to the point without trying to lessen the blow or pretty things up. Out of context, it has the potential to be funny, but paired with the rest of the story, it's very serious. There's almost a shock value to it. Like I said, very impactful.

You're very good at spinning mysteries as well. You let out enough information to really hook me, but that was it. Just enough and not a drop more. Perfect pacing for a mystery novel.

I love the hard cuts in this as well. Generally, that's something I try to avoid, but they are very well done here. It's a hard transition, but it's not at all choppy. It's sort of wonderful.

I don't have any actual concrit to provide for this chapter, but here's some food for thought:

Adding a bit more detail about Draco's behavior could make the chapter more interesting. Astoria seems like a pretty astute observer, so I'm wondering what she's paying attention to. (Unless, of course, she's too focused on herself to worry about Draco at the moment.)

I also really like the hard cuts, but there is a lot of information that's sort of just told to us. You've done it in a way that it works, and works well, but in this chapter there's way more narration than there is action. I was going to suggest adding some of the information into the action, so Draco or Astoria is saying it, rather than it just being said, but I don't think that will work with this information. I do think a bit more action would make for a well rounded chapter, and I think you can add it in to the last section without too much difficulty. You can start the next bit of their conversation, or even have Astoria watch him shuffle through is papers, and then reflecting about what she knows is on them.

But like I said, this is a pretty solid chapter, so all of that is just stuff to think about. :)

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Review #13, by SunshineDaisiesBreathe: ii. Bhaii

4th May 2015:
OH MY GOD "YOUR BROTHER" I'M CRYING.

(It occurs to me in hindsight that this is a very odd way to start a review. I promise it's a positive one though!)

Okay, full disclosure: I don't ship Remus/Sirius. Not in like a BURN IT WITH FIRE way, but a general meh, sort of thing. I almost never seek out wolfstar stories to read, because they have been ruined for me by terrible characterization. That said, I wanted to come leave you a review because I haven't read anything of yours yet and your enthusiasm for this fic is just infectious. So I figured I could buck up and deal with it and let me tell you WHAT A GREAT IDEA THAT WAS.

I'm so happy I read this. So, so happy. I realize I'm only like, 1.5 chapters in, but HOLY COW. Your characterization is p e r f e c t. PERFECT. James is so on point and people get him wrong all the time. You really captured his caring nature and his loyalty and trust AND YOU DID IT IN LIKE ONE CHAPTER. I am so impressed by that.

And Sirius is brilliant too! I love that you've given him more of a motivation to tell Snape about the whomping willow. It definitely makes him much more sympathetic to the reader. He didn't do it because he's just a jerk sometimes, he was angry and scared and wasn't thinking. That's a much nicer way to think about a character.

His reaction to everything has been handled so well so far. It just seems so natural. You can see that he's upset and scared and absolutely full of regret. You can see that he understands exactly what this would've done to Remus. You can feel all of his emotions from the tone you use. You can really feel his fear coursing through the words. You can feel his relief when James says he doesn't hate him. That's one of the big goals in writing, of course, but it's so hard to master and you already do it so well!

And while I'm here I want to say a couple of things about the first chapter. 1) THE WAY THIS FIC STARTS IS FANTASTIC. You took a pretty common trope for marauder's era, and tweaked it just enough that it's familiar but still interesting. I always dread opening marauder's era fics because I've read about a million of them and it's really hard to get through the same first chapter a million ways. I opened this one and was so refreshed to see something new! 2) The way you ended the last chapter was gold. GOLD. It was such lovely writing, despite the rather awful content and it was SO nice to read.

Have I rambled at you enough yet? :) Keep up the great work!

PS "YOUR BROTHER" I'M STILL CRYING. (And I forgot to mention Indian!James! I absolutely adore that headcanon and it's so perfect here. I love the Hindi you included, and the fact that you used the actual lettering is so perfect. It makes it feel just as foreign to the reader as it does to Sirius. A+. ALSO THE CAREFULLY CORRECTED LETTER HE SENT BACK HELP I'M HAVING BROTP FEELS.)

(Okay I'm really done now.)

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for this amazing review. You've honestly made my day! I have the biggest smile on my face right now.

I'm so happy that you found so many good things about this fic. That my intentions and meanings came across so clearly is such a relief, especially with regards to the characterization of James and Sirius!

Honestly, I don't even know what to say. This is such an incredible review that no response will do it justice! Again, thank you SO much!

-Kayla


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Review #14, by SunshineDaisiesWhen Summer Fades: solstice

4th May 2015:
For the record, I had to read this chapter IMMEDIATELY after the last one because I thought I'd read the last paragraphs wrong. No such luck, it seems. :(

Okay so now that I've mostly recovered from my emotions I think I'm good to leave you a review with slightly less capslock and crying. But I only promise slightly less.

This is amazing. Reg's character development and his entire arc are just perfect. I love how disinterested and scared he became here, it's very much inline with canon, and perfectly inline with the events of this story. You can just tell that he wants out so badly but you can't just leave the Death Eaters. I love you you can really see both sides of his character in this chapter as well, he's kind (to an extent), but still self preserving. He wants to help Anne, but he's afraid. (Did you have to kill Anne???) Then he volunteers Kreacher for a mission because he thought it would make him happy. How many wizards do you think do things to make their house elves happy? One. His name being Regulus Black. AND HE WON'T LET KREACHER DRINK THE POTION AGAIN. THAT IS HOW YOU DO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. AH. There is just so much growth in him over this story, and in this chapter in particular he really comes into his own. I love reading about characters like this, and you've done a spectacular job. Okay and this line:

ďIím not a child,Ē I said. But I was, really; I was still just a teenager, and this was no place for me.

THIS JUST SHOWS SO MUCH ABOUT HIM AND HIS CHARACTER AND IT'S PERFECT. And the fact that he intentionally did not look at the bodies on the floor, I just want to hold him.

I love how you created the plot to really push him into the character he's meant to be (I am still bitter about Anne and Alan though I'm never getting over that), both directly and indirectly. He grew so much as a person after watching Anne die, which I think was very conscious of him. And you have him figuring out the Horcrux because HE DID RESEARCH TO HELP HIS BEST FRIEND NOT DIE. That is so clever! And so great and fantastic and it hurts my heart a little but in the best way possible. Reading about him in the cave warmed my heart and broke it at the same time. It seemed so much like he was trying to atone for Summer's death, or even just prove to her that he was worthy of her friendship. And it just :'(

I also really, really liked that you did not have Regulus and Summer fall in love. That seems to be so common in media that we forget friendship is just as important than romance. If not more. It can be just as powerful as romantic love or filial love or whatever else kind of love there is. And I liked how you addressed it in the first chapter. Maybe we would have been in love. But they weren't and it was so lovely to read. It fits in so well with the overall themes of Harry Potter.

I think this chapter is your strongest overall in terms of showing vs telling. I didn't notice any areas where it made things lag, the areas where you were telling were very suited and really helped advance the plot.

Overall, this is so, so good. SO. GOOD. Okay I'm done rambling now.:)

Author's Response: WAHH THIS REVIEW ♥ Thank you, you're amazing!

wow, thank you - it is such a compliment to hear that my writing kept you interested enough to go to the next chapter immediately and that it made you emotional - I'm sorry about tears but I am really flattered, thank you! *hands over tissue*

*insert gif of Boromir saying "One does not simply walk out of the Death Eaters." :P I'm so thrilled you like Regulus' character arc in this story, and how he basically sticks around just because doesn't know how to get out - and it's so great to hear that the different sides of his personality show here. I really enjoyed writing Kreacher actually - especially from such a sympathetic point of view - and I figured that not all wizards were as cruel to their house elves as the Malfoys were to Dobby. Kreacher was always so attached to Regulus and so I figured REgulus had to have cared a lot about him. Wah thank you, I'm so glad you liked the character development and that you thought I did it well!

:( sorry, I know, I do feel badly about Summer's parents but it needed to happen to push Regulus over the edge to the point where he'd do something as drastic as betraying Voldemort. I'm glad you liked how he found out about the Horcrux! I just loved the irony of the idea, as he found Voldemort's secret by trying to help a Muggle-born. The cave - I think that was the most intense scene I've ever written! and thank you, it's such a compliment to hear you say you felt all those feelings about it.

ah! I'm so glad that you liked the friendship angle and especially that you thought it fit so well with the HP themes! There is something so pure about friendship and I couldn't see the story any other way. Besides, there are far too few stories out there which focus on friendship and not romance.

THANK YOU so much for your incredible reviews, I'm positively over the moon. ♥ You're a fantastic reviewer!


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Review #15, by SunshineDaisiesWhen Summer Fades: syzygy

3rd May 2015:
Um, WOW. WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING AND IT PUNCHED ME RIGHT IN THE GUT. WOW. That was painful.

Okay, so if that wasn't clear, I liked it a lot!

Regulus's development in this chapter was absolutely SPOT. ON. You can absolutely see him growing from a lost boy to someone who absolutely knows what's right and what's wrong and has somehow ended up on the wrong side. It's so perfect.

Summer is BRILLIANT. I adore her. I love her optimism and acceptance and her silent sort of bravery. She's wonderful.

Her parents were lovely as well! Hospitals are always awkward, especially when you don't know the other visitors, and I think you displayed that very well. I love how Anne sends Regulus little side notes. That's just so, so touching.

I think this chapter is a LOT better in terms of showing vs telling. The pace seemed a lot more constant. I wanted to suggest adding a bit more action and detail in near the end. I'm hoping you don't have this experience, but people dying from cancer to tend to just... fade away. I think that could create a really vivid, powerful image. However, that last paragraph is just spectacular, and I'm not sure it would work quite as well with the extra detail.

UGH THAT LAST LINE. TAKE THE KNIFE IN MY HEART AND TWIST IT WHY DON'T YOU. UGH UGH UGH.

I'm like 90% sure this isn't everything I wanted to touch on but now I'm all emotional. I've read the next chapter and definitely plan on leaving you a more comprehensive review there. :)

Author's Response: Ahh, sorry. I should have warned you this fic stomps on hearts. :( But I am so glad to hear that you liked it despite it punching you in the feels.

Wow, thank you! This is really so wonderful to hear that you liked his character development. I think that may be why the first chapter is the weakest - because Reg is just so apathetic then, and this is where he first starts to care, so it all gets more intense.

I am so glad to hear you like Summer as well, and her parents. :) gah, I loved writing the friendship between Summer's parents and Reg, as this is like the ultimate thing he was taught to hate (as they're Muggles) but he finds himself appreciating it so much.

That's great to hear about the pace! I did intentionally leave some detail out towards the end, actually for the reason you mentioned, my idea being that the detail fades out as Summer fades away. and yeah unfortunately, this chapter is based on personal experience - Summer was mostly inspired by a family member.

I think the last line in this chapter is one of my favourites in the whole story, so thank you - I am so glad to hear it was powerful.

Thank you so much for your review!! ♥ I'm off to respond to your next one now!


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Review #16, by SunshineDaisiesWhen Summer Fades: equinox

3rd May 2015:
LOOK AT HOW FAST I AM. I've been avoiding responsibility. Also, I feel like you will appreciate the fact that I am writing this review in the expanded review box. IT'S SO NICE.

This definitely hits ALL of my interests, so thank you for that! I've been very interested in Regulus lately, so I'm always pleased to read more about him.

I think you've done a really wonderful job of exploring his character here. I love the way he went from a neutral force to a Death Eater, without actually losing his underlying neutrality. I also really liked how he joined the Death Eaters because he was so caught up in everything and it made him feel powerful. It made him very real, and it really showed his age. He very much seems like a teenage kid caught up in stuff he didn't fully understand. When writing about characters like this, I feel like a lot of times writers forget that they're writing teenagers not fully grown adults. Reading an accurate description of a seventeen year old is so nice.

I loved Regulus's voice in this as well. You really showed his thought process, and I think you've painted his character very well. He seems a bit detached and unemotional, which is so fitting based on the fact that he repeatedly says he was taught to never show excess emotion. It's SUCH a good fit.

I think Summer is absolutely wonderful! I love her kindness and friendliness (WHAT A GOOD PUFF SHE IS), and I love that it doesn't make her weak. When Regulus calls her a Mudblood, she reacts appropriately, but doesn't hold it against him.That shows such a strength in character, and I really like seeing it portrayed as such. She's also pretty darn funny, which is always nice to read.

I think the pace was good, but the chapter did lag a bit in places. It's on the longer side and it covers quite a bit of time, so the laggy bits are going to be hard to avoid. It usually showed up when you were describing passages of time, which really is to be expected. It's telling rather than showing, and while it's definitely necessary here, it just isn't as interesting as the parts where there's action happening.

That said, the parts where there IS action happening are very interesting! I felt just as captivated by Summer as Regulus did and I was so anxious about his friends finding out. I'm so curious about what happened to Summer now and I'M SO CONCERNED FOR HER. So it definitely holds reader interest.

And as a side note, I really love the chapter titles. So clever. :)

Author's Response: Wow, that was really fast! And yay for the expanded review box! That totally changed my life omg.

Thank you - it's great to hear that about Regulus. This is exactly the idea I was trying to convey - he wasn't EVIL, but a confused teenager who was just caught up in things he wasn't ready for. And aah, that means SO MUCH to hear you say that he seemed real. That's what I try for, and basically the best thing to hear as a writer- thank you!

I'm thrilled to hear that about Regulus' voice as well, and that his detachment seems to fit with his upbringing. That's really wonderful to hear about Summer as well, I'm so glad you like her! Haha, she is SUCH a Hufflepuff :D I really like your analysis of her character too, that her ability to forgive makes her strong.

Yeah, the long time span was one of the things I'd been concerned about this chapter, and I definitely see that it has some sections of telling. I am glad to hear that you found it appropriate though- that the telling seemed okay here as it skips through time. The last two chapters are a much shorter time span so hopefully less telling - I'd be interested to know what you think if you read those. Regarding the action scenes though, I'm so glad you find those interesting and that the story holds your interest.

Aw, thanks about the chapter titles ;) This was a really wonderful review, thank you so much!!


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Review #17, by SunshineDaisiesChai, Samosas, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Samosas, and a Surprise

2nd May 2015:
I read this the other day when I wanted some fluff and it worked PERFECTLY. It definitely cemented Neville/Hannah as a new OTP.

AND YOUR HANNAH IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED OUT OF LIFE. Burnt out Healer who just wants to cook and avoid moving back in with her mother? SO MUCH YES.

And aside from that, she's just so delightful. I want to read more about her. I want to get to know her better. She's captivating.

I love Neville too. I think it's kind of adorable that he came down to the kitchen and just stayed there, despite the rather obvious social queues to leave.

That sounds like he's a creeper.

He's not. But I am very curious to know why he didn't leave. I'm hoping to learn a little more in the next installments :)

I absolutely LOVE the food related metaphors (or similes, if we're being technical)

It was a lovely sound, rich but light, like folding melted chocolate into whipped cream.

She felt as light as fluffy egg whites, a way she hadnít felt inÖ a long time.


It's adorable and adds so much to Hannah. It's like she thinks in food. It's SO CUTE. And so creative! That is such a cool thing to do in writing and I'm really so impressed with it.

And just worth noting: this made me hungry! The college I used to go to served somosas on a regular basis and IT WAS DELIGHTFUL. I haven't had them since. I'm actually really happy you were so detailed in the process, I might be making some myself at some point.

This was a really, really lovely read! It definitely lifted my spirits :)

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Review #18, by SunshineDaisiesJumble: HodgePodge

2nd May 2015:
KAITLIN.

I need you to stop being so perfect, because it's just really unfair to everyone else. Not fair at all.

The IMAGERY. It's like your fingers are paintbrushes, the keyboard your paint and the blank page is a canvas. Honestly. Your descriptions are like, crazy good. I've never read something of yours that didn't leave an image in my mind, but this one certainly stands out. It's so full of exceptional, ecstatic detail. The picture is jumping off the page, and so is the emotion. The whole thing is just pure joy. A gallimaufry of emotion indeed.

I love getting to see Harry happy. It's such a beautiful moment when you get so lost in doing what you love that you forget every bad thing or annoying detail of our life. And goodness knows Harry deserves as many of those moments as possible.

For the first time in ages, Harry felt like The Boy Who Was Alive

I'm sure you know how spectacular this line is, as you've put it in your summary, but this is just so perfect. It contrasts so, so well with The Boy Who Lived, and it really drives home the point that flying is what Harry really loves. The sky is his happy place. And on the subject of the sky,

Up in the sky there was nothing to drag him down.

I love this so much. It is a really beautifully crafted sentence and I feel like it does a really good job of describing exactly what Harry's feelings without using any "feeling words" at all.

SO. GOOD. KAITLIN.

This story put a HUGE smile on my face when I was stressed and asked for fluff fics, so I'm hopping this review pays the favor a bit. :)

IT'S SO GOOD.

Author's Response: Hey Katie,

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I'm so glad that it was able to put a smile on your face.

Honestly, I have no idea where this story came from. I was dumbfounded about the word gallimaufry and I kept going to back to Quidditch. For some reason, the image of Harry spinning through the air seemed to fit, so I started writing and this is what happened.

The Boy Who Was Alive line came out randomly, but as soon as I wrote it, it was instantly one of my favorites. This whole story was a bit of a challenge though. I was honestly worried that it would be too much description to stay interesting.

Thank you again for such a lovely review! I'm actually having a bit of a stressful day, so opening my account to this was very nice!

~Kaitlin


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Review #19, by SunshineDaisiesSunshine: Hero

2nd May 2015:
This is beautiful.

Not anything like I was expecting, but those are the best stories sometimes.

Neville is so perfect. You absolutely nailed it with him. He's obviously grown, matured, and gotten more confident, but he isn't a completely different person than he was at age eleven. It can be really difficult to age characters up like that, and you've done it SO WELL.

The style is-- UGH EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS JUST SO PERFECT. THERE IS NOT ANOTHER WORD TO DESCRIBE IT.

So, moving on, I really like the style of this. I think present tense was the perfect choice for this scene. It really brings the reader right into the moment, and this is the type of situation where you have to be in the moment. It's one of those things where everything has happened so quickly and you're in such a daze that it doesn't all seem real. And when you look back, you can't possibly remember it all, or get all the details right. It's a situation that demands present tense, really. And all that other stuff about it feeling like a daze? You nailed all of that too.

(I read on your about page on the forums that present tense is sort of your thing and I am amazed by it. So many people default to past tense because it's easier and it's so refreshing to read present tense. And sometimes present tense comes off a little awkward, but not here nope because it's perfect.)

So in case I've left any doubt: THIS IS PERFECT. PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT. And I'm REALLY excited for more!

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Review #20, by SunshineDaisiesDating Hannah : Sangria Saturday (The First Date)

2nd May 2015:
Okay, first of all, YOU WROTE THIS IN FOUR HOURS?!?!?!?! If that is slow I must be a glacier.

Anyway, this was again, HILARIOUS. As much as I think Neville needs to stop drinking, I never want him to stop drinking. Drunk Neville is EXTREMELY amusing.

I absolutely love how dumb and lovestruck he acts around Hannah. I giggled every time he stared at her chest instead of her face. Like, that just seems like such a guy thing.
(Also I find it really hilarious because boys think they're sneaky and I'm like bro, I see what you're doing here.)

Goodness, he just wants SO BADLY to impress her and he's so awkward and adorable doing it. I love him to bits.

And Hannah! She is so sweet. I do hope we get to see more of her in the next chapter, I'm very interested in knowing what her thoughts are on this whole situation. Hopefully she'll find it endearing instead of weird?

Okay and I know I've said this before but IT'S SO FUNNY. I'm very impressed with humor writers because I couldn't be funny if I tried. And here you've made like, every other line something to giggle at and it's so nice.

Definitely a go-to happy story. :)

Author's Response: Haha. Yes, I did! It was slow for me at the time because I was a speed demon but this was a monster of a chapter and I kept laughing behind my computer screen. Apparently I think I am funny. It's still up for debate though.

Isn't drunk Neville great? I'm sorry. He HAS to stop drinking and I think that's everyones biggest gripe about the story. Then again it's only four chapters long and spans only a weekish. Let the nervous boy have some fun! Liquid courage is all he needs. Haven't we all been there though? I know I have. He's young. He's allowed to drink, get sloppy and make mistakes. He lived a hard life. A little sangria and embarrassment will do him some good.

Poor Augusta though.

YES! Guys would just outright admit to me they were staring at my chest and I'm like really? When I went on my first date with my now boyfriend he could not stop staring. His eyes kept flicking down and in my head all I could think about was, "HELLO! EYES UP HERE!"

Hannah is in the next chapter and the final chapter as well. I think she plays her biggest role in the final one where she sits Neville down and...well, I can't tell you what happens! You'll have to read on to find out.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #21, by SunshineDaisiesDating Hannah : Liquid Courage

2nd May 2015:
DEEDS.

Your work was recommended to me when I was having a bad day and I AM SO GLAD I FOUND THIS. (Also all the recs I got that day were for Neville/Hannah and HELLO NEW OTP SURPRISE)

Anyway, this is hilarious! I love reading about characters getting stupidly drunk, and I really love all the stupid things that you inevitably do when you're stupidly drunk. It makes for some very fun reading.

I love that the Gryffindor boys regularly get together to get stupidly drunk. I'm glad they're having some happy, normal moments now that all the danger is gone. Warms my heart.

And NEVILLE. I love him. He is so precious already and I just want everything to work out for him. And that note. Oh poor Neville. Poor Hannah! I'm not sure I would take so kindly to someone calling me a wench.

I love the moment between Neville and Augusta. It was so sweet. It's so on point for her to be so worried about him, especially if he's always left feeling sad after. It's just such a motherly feeling to have, especially because he doesn't really have his parents. If Augusta goes, Neville is alone in the world.

I would be worried about him too.

(And I just made myself a little sad. Oops.)

Anyway, this was absolutely brilliant! It made me smile and absolutely improved a horrible day. Excellent work!

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Review #22, by SunshineDaisiesTraitorous Hearts: An Unwelcome Visitor

2nd May 2015:
Hello! Finally here for your review! Sorry it took me so long!

This is pretty fantastic! Definitely right up my alley in ways I never would have thought of myself! The first chapter is very captivating. I immediately want to know more about everything. You've done an excellent job of drawing in the reader.

I really love Astoria, and I love the relationship she had with her mother. The interaction was sweet, if a bit dark.

Astoria as an almost-adult is so lovely as well! I love that she's so dedicated and determined to protect her family. She's obviously willing to do just about anything, which is so inline with the self-preservation of Slytherins. And I'm such a sucker for obvious house accurate characterization. I also like that, though you've shown her to be (or trying to be) cold, aloof and ruthless, you've also shown her to be kind. It's not often you see Slytherin characters like that.

And I have to say I love the opening of these scenes.

ďRemember, little one, secrets are meant to be kept.Ē

Astoria Greengrass was a brilliant actress.


Absolutely fantastic first lines!I mentioned before that you've done a great job of drawing the reader in, and really, you've done it right from the first line.

The whole thing is just so wonderful

As for your main concern, I'd say the time period here is clear, but could be clearer. It's obvious it's happening before the Battle of Hogwarts, but not exactly how much before the Battle of Hogwarts. "Spring" is a bit vague. That might be your intention, but if it's not, I think you could make it a bit clearer by mentioning the weather a bit more specifically. I think there are lots of ways to do this so here are some ideas:

Is Astoria dressed for the weather? Is she wearing a long sleeved dress because it's still a bit cold? Or has she transitioned into lighter outfits already? Is the rain melting the last bit of snow, or is it a warm rain? Is it uncharacteristically cold? Or warm?

Or you can always just add a month in when you describe the rain. "The cool grey mist and sputtering April rain," would do the job pretty effectively.

I think stating that would make things a bit easier on the reader. Right now, I'm left wondering how much time Draco has between now and when everything starts to blow up. (Of course, keeping us in the dark could also be an effective device, so that's just some food for thought.)

Other than that, I don't think I have much to offer in terms of concrit.

Very well done!

Author's Response: Hi! First off, absolutely no worries about the time! I hope all your school stuff went well :)

I'm so excited that you noticed the thing about the house accurate characteristics! That was one of my biggest inspirations for this story--I felt like the Slytherin attributes got such a bad rap. I wanted to explore those characteristics, because I thought there was a lot of potential and complexity there. Plus, I'm a Slytherin, so I wanted to write a Slytherin heroine who represented the house accurately, someone who could have heroic qualities without completely sacrificing their cunning or instincts of self-preservation. The fact that you picked up on that, specifically, and made a note of it absolutely delights me :D

You give such specific, useful suggestions! Thank you so much! I feel like I can really use those. Throwing the month in is a great idea. I did leave the timeframe vague intentionally when I first began, but some reviewers have told me that they were initially confused. You picked up on the fact that it's just before the Battle of Hogwarts, which is great (I'm hoping that means one of the changes I already made cleared some things up), but several people have thought that the first chapter took place years later, and realized that it was during DH in the 2nd or 3rd chapters. I think some of it has to do with the language Astoria and Draco use--the characters seem older than normal teens, because that's my headcanon for how Purebloods behave in formal situations. But I think just as much of it has to do with that vagueness, so I've rethought my strategy and decided I want to make things clearer.

But maybe if I can drop in the month, like you suggest, and a reference to returning to school, it'll make things clear right from the start.

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful review, and for such lovely compliments and suggestions! I really appreciate it!

--Penny



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Review #23, by SunshineDaisiesEven Stars Die: Even Stars Die

1st May 2015:
Hiya! Sorry this took a bit for me to get to, it's been a long few weeks.

I really enjoyed this! I don't read much about Regulus, so it's always enjoyable to see things from his perspective, and to see his redemption arc. You've laid out both very well here!

I think you've done an excellent job with his character. He really is a fascinating one to explore, because we know his story, but nothing else about him. I think he was largely as you've shown him here: a scared little boy who got in way over his head. And then, of course, he developed into an extraordinary man who tortured himself and died to try and make things right.

His friendship with Kreacher really got me. It goes to show just how far a little bit of kindness can go, doesn't it? And how lasting the effects of it can be.

I'm rambling a little, I'm sorry. It's been a very emotional day for me.

I think the effects of the potion were pretty incredible, actually. It's one of those things I think JKR left intentionally vague, but I think you've interpreted it very well! I think it's a really great combination of physical and mental torture. The woman he killed coming back was an exceptionally nice touch, I think.

It did a very good job of holding my interest! I would (as always) like to see a bit more action, but I also quite like the vibe the beginning has. So it works either way.

The biggest thing I wanted to comment on is the theme you have of stars, light and dark. The part about the stars in the beginning is absolutely beautiful, and I like how you carried it through and tied it together at the end. I want to suggest changing the word "fog" to "darkness" at least once or twice, as that makes the theme a little easier to catch, and I think that will make the story a bit more powerful.

(Ok and I totally just realized that this mirrors the death of a star so well. It's at it's brightest before it dies. I'm not sure if that was intentional but it is BRILLIANT.)

This was a really lovely read! I'm so glad you requested :) And I'm sorry again that this took so long!

Author's Response: Hi Katie. Thanks for taking the time to read this, even if it took a while (I know you've been busy!). I'm glad you liked the Regulus/Kreacher relationship. It's one that has interested me since DH but, like you, I don't read about him super regularly.

I love your suggestion about "fog" and "darkness" more at the end. I was a huge astronomy buff as a kid so maybe the part about stars being brightest stuck with me on a bit of a subconscious level when I was working on Regulus's redemption arc.

Thanks again for the lovely review! =)


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Review #24, by SunshineDaisiesA Tale Told by Two Kitties: How It All Went Down

21st April 2015:
Hey there! So I just realized I haven't left you guys a review yet, even though I've been meaning to for ages, and I have one left before I hit 100! So I figured who better to leave one for? :)

This was so cute. I am not having a super great day, and this definitely put a smile on my face! I was rooting for Rose and Kenway the whole time and I was so pleased when they finally got together!

I really liked all of your characters actually. I think they were very well characterized for having such a short story to work with. Your OCs are lovely and very likable, and all of the characters just seem very real.

The side plot about Agatha was very interesting as well. I'm interested in knowing more about that actually! It was a very effective way of engaging the reader.

And of course I have to mention breaking the fourth wall! I think it's one of my favorite tropes, and you've used it very well! It was fun to see how you guys write together, and I must say that you are absolutely hilarious!

Great story guys! :)

Author's Response: Yay! This isn't quite as special of a number, but this review happened to be our 130th review received ever! Thanks!

I couldn't tell from the way you worded it whether or not your read one of our other stories such as Give it a Go in which to have been previously rooting for Rose/Kenway, but either way I'm glad you think they go together well! :)

Well we have used all these characters at LEAST once before, so that wasn't too hard. But still I'm really glad to hear we did a good job making them realistic.

Heehee I loved that part the best! I had a lot of fun writing that. ;) yay! We're hilarious! Which is great due to taking on the names of famous pranksters and claiming to specialize in (or at least write a lot of) humor.

Thanks so much for the review!

--Freda


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Review #25, by SunshineDaisiesEaster Lily: Easter Lily

19th April 2015:
Oooh, poor Lily!

This is so wonderful. I love fluff that's got a twinge of reality in it and this was just that. I think you have Lily reacting very appropriately to her situation. It had to have worn on all of them, and they can't have been happy the whole time. We know they weren't.

I love how James, Sirius and Remus planned to make Lily's day special, even if it didn't work out. It was so sweet.

I really liked the pranks they pulled as well! They were so clever and mostly harmless. It was just so sweet of them to try and make Lily laugh, and I think this is exactly the way they would have gone about it.

What an adorable read! :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

Aw, this review was so sweet! I'm so glad you liked this story. I has a blast writing it and coming up with the pranks. Yeah, James and Sirius have really great intentions, but they can come up a bit short with their execution.

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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