Reading Reviews From Member: SunshineDaisies
  
291 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SunshineDaisiesLetters of Love: With Love

24th April 2017:
Oh, how cute and fluffy! This made me smile so much, I loved reading Ron and Hermione's love letters to each other! I was a little unsure about them at first, because I didn't realize they were letters. They did sound a bit odd as little speeches to each other, but they absolutely make sense as letters. Letters tend to be more formal; they really give you the chance to say things in a way you wouldn't in person.

I really liked looking in on the letters Ron and Hermione sent while they were away from each other. That's not really something I think much about, but it must have been hard on them! They went from seeing each other nearly every day for YEARS to being only able to see each other occasionally and communicate via letter. And that's just not as nice as getting to see someone in person.

I also really liked the mention of Rose and Lorcan! I haven't seen that pairing before, but I think it's a really interesting one. I'd be very interested in reading more about that couple, actually. I'm wondering how similar Lorcan is to his mother and how Ron and Hermione would react to that...

Anyway, great work! It was a lovely read :)

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #2, by SunshineDaisiesTengu and a Daughter of Ninja: Two Tribes

16th April 2017:
Oh! More tension between Albus and Scorpius! I love it. Their rivalry is so spot on, and it's even more intense than what Harry and Draco had, which I really enjoy. I like that Albus is upset by Draco's treatment of him, and states his father won't allow any prejudice against him, but then turns and treats Scorpius with the same prejudice. I also really enjoyed the switch in dynamic from the Malfoy saying "My father will hear about this!" to the Potter saying it! Albus and Scorpius seem to have swapped roles with Harry and Draco, and it's infinitely interesting to watch. I hope to see more of their rivalry in future chapters!

I think you've done an excellent job with Draco as well. I love that he's being blackmailed by former Death Eaters, and that his stupid decisions in his youth are still following him now. I think you're portraying accurately and realistically, and I think this is actually one of my favorite characterizations of Draco.

I also really like the mythology you're using in this story. I don't know much about Asian mythology, but it feels as if I'm learning it along with your characters, and it's really interesting. I'm guessing I'll get to see more of that in later chapters as well, but I'll keep my fingers crossed just in case.

You're really doing a great job with this story. The narrative is very well constructed and you're doing an excellent job of telling the story.

Great job!

katie

Hufflepuff CtF

Author's Response: Hi, Katie. Thank you for doing review battle for the members on the forums.

I'm happy to know you seemed to capture almost of this chapter. I tried to describe weak Draco and the swapped roles with their parents, between Scorp and Albus.

I'm also glad to know you could feel the narrative tone of Asian mythology, which I tried to express in this chapter. Even in the situation, you had to read quickly, I really appreciate that you spared your precious time for this, Katie. :)


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Review #3, by SunshineDaisiesTengu and a Daughter of Ninja: Broken Heart

16th April 2017:
Hiya Kenny!

Pardon me for reading this out of order, but I hear there's a flag around somewhere!

I have to say, despite not having read chapter 1 or 2, I picked up on the story pretty quickly! I think that means you've done a really solid job of keeping the information distributed throughout the chapters. Definitely makes it an easy read!

I really love the premise of this story, or at least what I know of it so far, anyway. It's definitely interesting to see Draco as a professor at Hogwarts, it's certainly not something I would have expected from him! I do love how he's made his students write essays in the hopes of them finding the information for him. That is a VERY Draco thing to do.

I also really like the dynamic you have between Scorpius and the Potter/Weasleys. Usually you see stories where they're all best friends and Scorpius is falling in love with either Albus or Rose, depending on the author. It's definitely refreshing to see some hostility between the two parties. I also really liked that you included some references to Scorpius being bullied because of his fathers actions during the war. I definitely haven't seen that in fic before, but I can definitely imagine it happening!

Alright, I'm of for now!

katie

Hufflepuff CtF

Author's Response: Hi, Katie! Thank you for doing CTF for members at the forums. I really appreciate you kept going this activity.

Even for CTF, you captured the right thing with the fact Scorp was bullied becasue of his father's actions during the war.

Writing about Draco as a Professor was fun. I think no authors tried this like I did before, so your feedback gave me confidence with this story. Thank you, Katie.


I think Mystery is not so popluar compared with romance, generally speaking, I mean HP fanfictions overall. So it might be a bit of challenge, I couldn't resist continuing this story like that, 'coz what I was attracted by HP world, it has a lot of mysterious episodes.

To attract more readers, I have to read better mysteries the other authors wrote from now on.


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Review #4, by SunshineDaisiesCygnus Black III and His Three Daughters: Andromeda

16th April 2017:
An excellent continuation from the first chapter! I really like Andromeda as a character, so I really enjoyed reading more about her. I think you really nailed her characterization! She certainly seems ambitious and and resourceful. I often find that people have a difficult time writing Slytherins as good people while keeping the traits of their house present. I think you did an excellent job here!

I really liked the way you structured this chapter as well. I think the sort of flashback to the scene with Andromeda and Bellatrix gave a really solid foundation for you to build on, and that certainly continued in the next scene as well. I think you did a good job on that first scene, it's a bit passive, but it's done really well. The tone sort of gives off a dreamy vibe, and I think that works really well as a flashback scene. I think having a bit more action in that scene would have done a bit more work for you in terms of characterization, but that's mostly personal preference.

I loved the second scene, where Andromeda and Tonks meet for the first time. It was fun to watch Andromeda so drawn to the injured, and it was nice to see Tonks feel comfortable in her presence, even though he had very good reason not to trust her.

Overall I think this is a great chapter, and I really do have to get back and read more of it!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

Author's Response: Hi, Katie! Long time no voice from you.
I've missed your insight since the previous forums actiity. :D

I'm happy to know you feel like that, Andromeda as a character and the flashback to the scene with Bellatrix and the episoce with Tonks. For me, Andromeda must have been a Healer, her role in Black sisters was like that I imagined. And she did help Harry in the first scene in the book seven, it might influence this fic.

As I read the other author's excellent job around Adromeda-Tonks ship, I didn't have confidence about writing the ship, I did my best. So your feedback helps a lot.
Thank you again, Katie. :)



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Review #5, by SunshineDaisiesPrecipitate: Solution

16th April 2017:
Well that was just like watching a magical version of Criminal Minds. Which is awesome, but also like, very unsettling. I think you did a great job of conveying what was going on with Blake, I definitely caught that he was murdering young women to maintain his zombie wife, although I did kind of think that she was just some Frankenstein type monster and that Blake was a super creep. The fact that his wife died and heís just trying to get her back makes him slightly less creepy and a little bit endearing, I canít help but feel bad that his wife died, seemingly at a pretty young age, but dude. Gross. Donít murder people who look like your dead wife THATíS WEIRD, BLAKE. I mean I guess donít murder people in general but you know. Iím very tired.

Iím actually quite interested in the hows and whys of this story, Iím wondering if the whys (which will make him more sympathetic) will outweigh the hows (which will make him less sympathetic). However, I do think that this story works really well on its own, and I think it works well without the explicit explanation too. Thereís something extra creepy about having an ambiguous story that the reader can fill out in their head. It lets the reader expand on what they, personally find creepy. Like, imagining him hunting down women based on specific body parts to replace on his Frankenwife is more unsettling to me than a man who just wants to keep his wife alive. Also I just figured out why he was looking at the young girls left hand. Definitely thought he just needed to replace Frankenwifeís left hand. See? Ambiguity can be all sorts of fun. That said, Iíd definitely be interested if you were to expand it, but I definitely think itís strong enough to stand on its own as well.

Iím always impressed with your writing, but I had no idea you had the ability to chill me right down to my bones.

Despite being thoroughly creeped out, Iím very happy to have had an excuse to stop by your AP :)

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #6, by SunshineDaisiesLetters to the Fallen: Fabian and Gideon

16th April 2017:
THIS STORY HAS BEEN CALLING OUT TO MY SOUL. I love everything about the first Order and I love reading stories about them, even if they are a bit sad. I'm especially excited for this particular story, as I'm very interested in seeing Elphias's impression of each of the fallen members. I'm interested in seeing what you think of the first order as well. Everyone has different opinions on their characterization, and because there's no canon, no one is wrong!

That said, I love your characterization of Fabian and Gideon. They're some of my favorite ridiculously minor characters, they're a lot of fun to play with. I like picturing them as young and joyful, slight precursors to Fred and George.

I also really liked your characterization of Elphias. I think you've done an excellent job of writing him as a tired old man who has seen too much. He is definitely one of those old people that I just love so much. I can't wait to read more about and and get an even better grasp of his character.


And of course, I have to mention how stunning your writing is, because it's absolutely breathtaking. I love the way you described the various wars Elphias has lived through, and the mention of "a glimmer of gold and glory" in the young soldiers' eyes is just so spot on. It's a beautiful piece of imagery and it's so appropriate for the attitudes of the time. I really liked the style you managed here. It definitely sounds like a letter to a friend, almost a natural pattern of speech, but you've also done such a good job of including description and imagery, which is very tough to do when using first person perspective.

I'm so in awe of your writing ability. TEACH ME YOUR WAYS

katie

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #7, by SunshineDaisiesTime: Time

16th April 2017:
So I read this and I was SO CONFUSED about who you were talking about. My first thought was Lily Potter because of Karen Gillan on the banner (and also because Lily Potter is always my first thought in everything), but it doesn't quite seem to fit her. So I peeked at your review responses and saw that you didn't have anyone specific in mind and everything made sense again!

And after I had cleared up my silliness, I really liked the fact that you didn't name a character, and that you didn't have anyone in mind when you wrote it. I really like stories that are ambiguous in that way, I feel like it almost allows the reader to connect more with the character. Possibly because it allows you to project on to the character, or make it whichever character you relate to the most. It's an interesting concept and I think you did an excellent job of it here.

As usual, your writing is simply gorgeous, and I loved reading every second ofit. When I peeked in the reviews I saw that there was a narration of this floating around somewhere, and you can bet I'm going to go find it ASAP! This is so melodious and poetic and just lovely, I'll bet it's jaw dropping when read aloud!

The first sentence itself is just so pretty.

"The screaming, the terror, the fighting and crying."

The content is not so pretty, but the meter and the way it flows is perfect. I could actually probably analyze every single line of this to tell you how wonderful it is, but I think I'd probably run out of characters.

This is just gorgeous, I'll definitely have to come back to read some more of your work!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

Author's Response: Hi Katie! Thank you so much for your review!
I'm sorry I had you confused! I didn't want to specify the character because it could really be anyone. So many people will have lost family in the war.
I sent you a link on Twitter to the narration so you can have a listen to it!
Gah, you're too lovely!
-Amy


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Review #8, by SunshineDaisiesTask One Challenge : A friend's fight: Facing a dragon

16th April 2017:
Oh, Neville! What a cutiepie.

I loved watching the first task from Neville's perspective. Obviously we only saw Harry's perspective in the book, so it was fun to look at it with fresh eyes. And Neville is SUCH a sweetheart, it was an extra treat getting to see it from him in particular. I really liked how you inserted Ron in this scene as well. It was fun to have his bits of knowledge inserted into the story, and to see his change of heart toward Harry. It makes me wonder how much smoother the first task would have gone if he had had Ron by his side, teaching him some of Charlie's tips and tricks.

I really liked the miscellaneous comments from the other fourth year Gryffindors. It was sweet to see Lavender worried about Harry, fun to listen to Parvati talk about her fear of dragons. And then of course Seamus and Dean and Ron talking about the whole thing like it's a sporting event; working out the strategy and whatnot behind it all.

Your writing here was just wonderful. You did an excellent job of setting the scene, and created a really vivid image of the whole thing. I think Ron's dialogue actually helped with the imagery quite a bit here. It gave a clearer picture of each of the dragons.

overall great story! I really enjoyed the read!

katie

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #9, by SunshineDaisiesA Love Without End: A Love Without End

16th April 2017:
Oh god, that got me right in the gut. It took a lot of effort for me to not start crying right in the middle of it. My father died when I was thirteen, and this is just such an accurate portrayal of what happens when a parent dies while the children are young. I remember my mom having similar reactions, but just like Ron, she picked up and kept going. She learned to fill the roles of both parents. That's what happens when one partner leave, the other picks up the slack.

I really liked that you told this story from the point of view of their oldest child, rather than Ron himself. I think the narration coming from the future was a smart narrative choice as well. It gave enough distance from the pain and tragedy of Hermione's death to tell the story objectively. Though Tony may not have seen what Ron was doing at the time, especially with the distance between Tony and Ron. I loved getting to see Tony reflect on the past and realize how much work his father did to take care of them. Such a sweet reflection on a father by his son.

And the ending here is absolutely perfect. It was absolutely touching to see Tony finally able to say "thank you" and "I love you" to his father. Really, that's the part that got me the most! Such a good ending.

And random, but I loved the shoutout to Crookshanks in there. When you referred to him as Ron's "Oldest enemy" I definitely thought it was Draco and I was SO CONFUSED. It took me a minute to figure out it was the cat instead. And that whole section was just so sweet. I love the idea that Ron and Crookshanks finally bonded because they both missed Hermione so much.

Wonderful story.

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #10, by SunshineDaisiesAcceptance: Acceptance

15th April 2017:
OH MY GOD GET OUT. TOO CUTE.

That was so unbelievably sweet. I'm a sucker for daddy/daughter stories and I think you did a fantastic job of doing it here. A daughter's wedding day is always such an important day, and it's always so emotional for the parents, and I think especially for dads. I've always imagined Harry had a very close relationship with all of his children, so seeing a moment that shows that is so nice. Especially after the fiasco that is The Cursed Child. You definitely nailed Harry's characterization, and while we don't see much of Lily in the story, her reactions paint her as a doting daughter, and their whole interaction is just so natural and so appropriate for this situation. Using just the two of them was a very smart move, I think adding anyone else in would have made the whole thing too crowded.

I think your writing is absolutely beautiful. Your word choice is so lovely and it paints such a complete picture, and does so in such a short amount of space! Something about the conciseness and forced simplicity makes it magical. I think the Every Word Counts challenge produces some of the best pieces on this site, and this story definitely belongs on this list.

Love this, I'm so glad I'm getting a chance to read your stuff! I'll be back for more :)

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #11, by SunshineDaisiesLoving Rose Weasley: I'll Give My All to You

15th April 2017:
OH MY GOD LIZZIE THAT WAS SO CUTE. I'm so mad I never got around to actually completing the Short and Sweet challenge, this is SUCH a good fit for that prompt!

This made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I love that you sorted Scorpius into Gryffindor rather than putting one of the Weasleys in Slytherin. You don't see that terribly often, and it's really refreshing to see that change. And oh my goodness, the end of that first paragraph

It was love at first sight, if you believe in that sort of thing.

That is the most perfect line that has ever been written. I love everything about it. It's fantastic! It was really such a great way to introduce the story and their relationship as a whole. Throughout the rest of the story, you definitely get the sense that Rose and Scorpius have a bit of a fairy tale romance. So sweet!

I really enjoyed the different segments you showed, I think you did an excellent job of showing Rose and Scorpius throughout their lives, from the first time they met to fifty years of wedded bliss. I think you did a fantastic job of picking those moments! It really is sweet and happy and lovely and wonderful. I also adored the repetition of Rose calling Scorpius cheesy, that was so cute.

Your writing here is absolutely gorgeous. You did fantastic job of creating imagery without losing any of the emotion in the story. It's incredibly impressive, especially considering that this story is exactly 500 words! I really appreciate how you can pack such a punch while remaining so concise.

Fantastic work!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #12, by SunshineDaisiesThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Prologue

15th April 2017:
I love this! The way you've set it up really makes it seem very film noir. I'm half expecting this to turn into a search for the Maltese Falcon. You've very much set up a solid tone of mystery, which does an excellent job of drawing the reader in. I'm definitely hooked already.

I'm so excited to see what happens next! I'm absolutely fascinated. I was excited by the film-noir vibes, but I'm really more excited to see how this story plays out. Based on the summary, it seems as though we'll be starting to see things from the perspective of the members of the gentleman's club, the villains, I'm assuming. I'm interested in seeing how that plays together with this beginning, and to see if and how the tone shifts. If it does at all!

I love the introduction of the Butterfly's Death, and the feeling of foreboding when Marcus says "They're back!" I want to know more! I want to know the history that's going on, and how whoever "they" are connected to the gentleman's club.

Your dialogue is spot on, it's both natural and appropriate for the setting and tone you've set up. It fits so well with the old-timey film vibe, but it doesn't sound forced or unnatural in any way.

Wonderful work!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #13, by SunshineDaisiesPainful Bliss: Prologue: Beginnings

14th April 2017:
Oh my goodness, that was lovely! I'm not a huge fan of Draco, but I think you did a really great job of making him sympathetic and likable while still being true to his character. It's pretty hard to make me like Draco, so I think you've done a great job!

I'm already so interested in this relationship and the future of Draco and Astoria. The summary makes it seem like they don't exactly have a happy ending, so I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of this!

Your writing here is just beautiful. I really liked the way it seemed a bit distant, as it matched the way Draco seemed to be feeling at the time. This chapter seemed to start off a bit hazy, and then come into focus when Draco met Astoria. I also loved that you focused so much on Astoria's flaws. So often you read stories that are like, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL OMG I LOVE HER and that's not realistic or interesting. Here you've presented an absolutely normal woman, and Draco is captivated by her almost because of her normality. It's a really interesting beginning to this story. It's sweet to see Draco like that, and I'm a little disappointed that it seems the rest of the story will be so sad.

Great story!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

Author's Response: You're not a fan of Draco, say what?! I love me some Draco and I love me some Draco like this. Walls down, facade down. Yes, yes, yes, please! This story is essentially my baby. I think a lot of people are put off by the prologue and that's why not too many people have read until the final chapter. I think it's because I do focus on her flaws so much here that a lot of people aren't a fan of that but I wanted the prologue to read off as normal. These are just two normal people who are going to be in a normal relationship that could make or break them just like any other relationship out there. You know what I mean?

So glad you enjoyed the prologue. I hope you continue to read on!


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Review #14, by SunshineDaisiesPunishment by the moonlight: Punishment

14th April 2017:
My goodness, that was creepy. I really hate Greyback, he's definitely one of the most evil characters in the series, and this story perfectly demonstrates why. "You won't let me live near children? I'll kill yours then! That'll show you!" Greyback logic. Ugh, what a terrible person.

You did a really great job of setting the scene here. It's only a few hundred words, and hardly any description, but I had a perfect image of this woman sitting terrified in her home in the middle of the night. The whole thing definitely gave off an eerie feeling.

I also really like the way you structured this! the beginning did an excellent job of setting up the tone of the story, as I said before, and the flashback really made the whole story feel fleshed out. The first mention of Fenrir really sent a shiver down my spine. I knew immediately that this was not going to end well!

The flash back to the future was perfect too! Definitely wouldn't have seemed as horrifying without that part. And it truly was horrifying. I feel like anything with small children involved is extra creepy! I also think small children are creepy in general, so it's a double whammy there. You did a really great job of describing the fear the mother felt as well. I definitely felt it right along with her.

Wonderful read!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #15, by SunshineDaisiesPast Present Irregular: Past Present Irregular

14th April 2017:
Fascinating! I'm not big on time travel stories, but I think this one was done really well! I was hooked by the summary, actually. I loved the little reference to Slaughter House Five. (I'm not even sure it was intentional but I liked it nontheless).

I like that it was an accident rather than some contrivance to save the world or something, and that you immediately went into how it's disturbed the whole thing. It was also really fun to see different versions of characters interacting with each other. I especially enjoyed the bit with Remus and Tonks :)

It was an excellent narrative choice to have characters run into younger versions of people they knew. I think it really made the whole idea of the story more successful. "Unstuck" is definitely a good way to describe what's happening there!

The opening of this story was great! I was really surprised by it, actually. I realize starting with a piece of dialogue is a pretty normal thing to do, but it came across as one of the most original openings I've read in a long time.

Very good work! I'm so glad I got the chance to read this!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #16, by SunshineDaisiesHC Event 3: The New Addition: The New Addition

14th April 2017:
How cute! Kids and their pets are always so adorable. I haven't thought much about how pets work in the wizarding world, you don't really see much mention of them outside of cats and owls. And rats and toads, I guess.

I am wondering about the wisdom of owning a crup. It seems like they'd be dangerous pets to have around, especially if you live in a muggle populated area! I suppose they are common pets for wizards, though, so I'd assume there are precautions in place.

I really enjoyed reading this little glimpse into Wizarding life. I don't think we get to see enough of the day to day action in the series, so reading about it in fic is a special treat.

Your writing, as always, was absolutely wonderful. You did a fantastic job of capturing the joy and excitement Sophie has, and the hesitancy of her parents as well. I suppose it is always a risk to let a nine year old have a pet, especially if they've never had one before! It's also a risk to let a nine year old name a pet, I think. I do have to admit though, I named my first hamster Nibbles and I was definitely older than nine at the time. Reading that bit definitely put a smile on my face.

I really enjoyed this!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #17, by SunshineDaisiesand the girl in white...: she is your rose...

14th April 2017:
Wow I was not prepared for that. At all. Here I am reading through the first three paragraphs all smiley and happy at the beautiful prose and sweet story and then BAM. NO MORE HAPPY. So I'm mostly gonna comment on the first three paragraphs because those last two are too devastating to think about too much.

This whole thing is structured beautifully. I love that each paragraph starts and ends the same way. I feel like that can be really easy to overdo and make a story repetitious, but it worked so well here! It really added to the lyrical quality of the piece on the whole. And the change in the last paragraph was absolutely killer.

I also really like that you decide to portray Rose and Scorpius's relationship in short snippets like this. It was really nice to see them as children, teenagers and adults, and to see how they have always had a connection. Or at least, Scorpius has always been fascinated by her.

Your prose in general is just gorgeous, it definitely reads like a prose poem, with the low of the words and the repetition at the beginning and end. Your imagery is so beautiful, you definitely did an amazing job of painting pictures in the mind. I could totally envision Rose twirling around in the grass as a child. Although I just looked back and realized that might not be talking about her as a child. Oops.

Anyway, in the last two paragraphs, I think you approached the subject in a very tasteful way. Nothing was too gruesome, and the feeling was very realistic.

Great job, Lo!

katie.

Hufflpuff CtF

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Review #18, by SunshineDaisiesThe Prankster and The Bookworm: The confession

14th April 2017:
OH MY. I was not expecting that! In hindsight, I realize it was stated right there in the story shell but, who really looks at those? I quite liked the surprise, actually. I did figure it out when she referred to herself as a bookworm, but I didn't really have a clue before then. It was a good moment.

I really like that you're not just ignoring the obvious chemistry that Ron and Hermione have, that's been built up since the first book. You've done an excellent job of setting up another ship for Hermione without really devaluing Ron. It's obvious that Hermione likes him, but I also think at this point, she could be easily swayed into liking someone else. I can't imagine Fred and Hermione would go over well with anyone else in the family, especially not Ron! Although I think it would be super interesting to see the fall out from that discovery.

I'm very interested in seeing what happens next and where the story goes from here! Not only is there your cliff hanger, but there's also the knowledge that death eaters will be attacking the wedding very soon, and Hermione will have to take off with Harry and Ron. Leaving Fred alone with probably no response. :( Poor guy.

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #19, by SunshineDaisiesTroubled waters: The second mistake

14th April 2017:
Initial reaction: OH MY GOD RON. RON. WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. RON. WHAT. NO. STOP. WHAT.

That was incredibly uncomfortable to read. I was kind of squirming the whole time. Infidelity never sits well with me, so reading the thought process of an adulterer while they are adultering was just completely... squirmy! I can't think of another way to explain it.

That said, I think Ron's train of thought is super interesting. I'd imagine his thought process is realistic, and it seems completely natural. He's obviously frustrated with his relationship and a "solution" is presenting herself right in front of him. Oh Ron. I actually really like reading from Ron's perspective, it's so different from my own, and it just seems so much like natural guy talk. Which honestly is a completely foreign concept to me.

As disappointed as I am in Ron, I absolutely love Pansy. We don't see much from her perspective, but it doesn't seem like she's out intentionally to destroy Ron and Hermione's relationship, it just seems like she's very lonely. Lonely enough to spend time with people she detested in school. I also love that she takes such control of her sexuality. There are absolutely no questions about what she's after (which makes Ron even more icky), and she totally owns it. Good for her!

Great job!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #20, by SunshineDaisiesSuch Sweet Sorrow: Such Sweet Sorrow

13th April 2017:
OUCH. Was that really necessary? Really? That whole thing was just painful. I kind of love unrequited Remus/Lily, even though it usually ends up breaking my heart. Like this did.

I love the way you divided this into short segments, giving us a glimpse of Remus's anguish, without lingering on it for an excessive amount of time. I also love that he's obviously hurting, but he's not really angsty about it. He's more like, sadly determined. He knows he loves Lily, but he also knows he loves James, and he couldn't do something to make James hurt like Remus does. Of course there's also an element of Remus accepting the danger that would come with being in a relationship with him. Especially at this point in time, when the Wolfsbane Potion hasn't been developed yet.

Your writing is absolutely exquisite. You somehow always manage to write these melodious sentences that are such a joy to read. Your word choice is always perfect and it makes your writing as a whole so lovely. I'd be sighing contentedly if I was not so sad about it.

This was so, so lovely. :)

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #21, by SunshineDaisiesSweet Sorrow: Only A Memory

13th April 2017:
Oh my goodness, I so needed to read this right now. Like, I just so wanted some nice simple jily fluff and then there's this AND IT'S EVERYTHING.

I honestly love this so much. I love second person perspective, and you've used it so beautifully here. This whole thing is just like poetry and it's gorgeous and I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH WORDS BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO SQUEAL ABOUT IT.

You did such a fantastic job of painting the entire relationship between Lily in James, all the way from their first meeting to their last moments. It's such a simple portrait but it's simplicity is what makes it so wonderful! You've given just enough detail to paint the picture and you've done it with such beautiful strokes!

The tone of this is so wonderful. Like, it's not completely heartbreaking, but there's still a hint of sadness. Mostly it's just sweet and loving and almost happy.

I'm honestly amazed you were able to fit all of this in slightly more than 500 words. Short pieces really exercise your writing ability, and you've done so well with it. I know this doesn't technically count as an "Every Word Counts" challenge entry, but you truly did make every word count, and every word really packs a punch!

I'm obsessed with this.

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #22, by SunshineDaisiesFleeting: Fleeting

13th April 2017:
So I have to admit, I was very skeptical in opening this story. James and Lily are my OTP, times like a million. End all be all life long OTP. It PAINS me to read about them with other people.

That said, I was very pleasantly surprised. You've set this up in a truly realistic way, so it wasn't too much of a stretch of the imagination. It makes perfect sense that James would tag along with his father in an attempt to comfort Lily. It makes sense that Petunia would be there and would be distraught enough to ask a kind stranger to stay and comfort her. And traumatic times like that are pretty prime time for falling in love. It's like, heightened adrenaline or something. And of course, James, being James, would keep in contact with Petunia no matter what, because he is a kind, wonderful person, but the fact that he ended up liking, even loving her, makes it even more realistic.

Your characterization of Petunia is so spot on. A lot of times Petunia gets written as a shrill, cold person. It's always nice to see a softer side of her, and I think you did that without disconnecting from the character established by Rowling in the books. And really, you just gave her ANOTHER reason to treat Harry badly and to hate magic. First it stole her sister, then it stole her love, then it forced her to take care of the baby her sister had with her love. That's intense.

I like how you described their relationship playing out. It was simple and sweet, and it tells this solid truth, that true love doesn't necessarily have to last a lifetime. Sometimes it just lasts for a moment.

Beautiful story, even for a die-hard James/Lily shipper!

katie

Hufflepuff CtF

Author's Response: awh!

I'm so glad you came to jailbreak B. this is so lovely to read especially with you being a die hard Lily/James shipper! I'm very fond of them too which is why I didn't want to totally ruin Lily and James in this one-shot as I knew I was taking a risk of people hating this pairing so I'm glad it's gone down well. I'm tried to play it in a realistic way as possible. I'm really chuffed with all your comments! thank you, ctf has made this fic get a lot of love. :) xo


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Review #23, by SunshineDaisiesShade to Shade: The Plan

13th April 2017:
You are such a captivating story teller. I haven't read much of your stuff before, but every time I do, I'm completely engrossed right from the first sentence. Your writing is honestly like, what I strive for my writing to be. You write your characters so well and do such an amazing job of bringing them to life! I'm jumping around for CtF, so I have no idea who Tanith is, but I feel like I know her now. I loved reading from her perspective. You don't get too deep into her head, at least not explicitly, which is definitely something I prefer. I'd much rather get my knowledge of the character from the character's actions and interactions, and you really do an unbelievably good job of that. I could probably go on forever about your characterization, honestly.

I'm also so impressed with the content of this story. It's so intriguing. I don't often read stories about Slytherins, usually because I find I don't like Slytherins. You don't often find stories about the "good" Slytherins either; it's a perspective that I've always been really interested in, but haven't really found a good exploration of. It's also definitely not something I could explore myself!

I'm really looking forward to reading more of your stories!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #24, by SunshineDaisiesTroubled waters: A chance encounter

12th April 2017:
I've never been a fan of Ron/Pansy, it's always kind of bewildered me that it's such a popular ship. I have a really hard time buying that Ron would be forgiving enough to see Pansy as anything less than repulsive. But, you've definitely sold it here! You've created such a perfect situation for it to happen. Ron is drunk, he's missing Hermione, he's upset that she's away so much, it's prime circumstances for an indiscretion to happen. And then you have Pansy, good looking and flaunting herself, and PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM. You've taken an impossible scenario and made it totally plausible.

I loved the way you had Ron and Harry speak about Pansy. I mean obviously, I don't love that she's being objectified, but I think their conversation about her is very real, and a very accurate depiction of how men speak about women. Which is really sad, come to think of it, but yay for realism?

I'm very curious about what happens next here, based on the challenge topic I can certainly take a guess, but I'm very interested in seeing how that plays out. Will Ron remember their night together? Or is it just going to come as a complete shock to him? HOW WILL HERMIONE REACT.

This has definitely piqued my interest and I'm really looking forward to reading more of this!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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Review #25, by SunshineDaisiesGood Night, Albus: Good Night, Albus (Contest)

12th April 2017:
Making Dumbledore seem human is a truly difficult task. We only really see him through Harry's eyes during the series, and of course Harry looks up to him, and doesn't necessarily see his flaws or consider any problems he may have. Getting a glimpse into his bedtime routine is a really wonderful way to see the more hidden sides of Dumbledore.

I'd never thought of Dumbledore as having trouble sleeping, but with the way you framed it, it totally makes sense. Dumbledore experienced a lot of trauma in his life, and it's completely believable that he'd continue to be tormented by nightmares of that one night.

I think the fact that he's avoiding sleep entirely makes him seem so human. It's such a simple, almost childish idea, he doesn't want to deal with the nightmares, so he doesn't want to sleep. I think that demonstrates a bit of his arrogance as well, Dumbledore does seem the type to not really need much sleep. Like I said, it's very difficult to get Dumbledore to come across like a real person rather than just a figure of authority, and you have done a truly excellent job.

I really liked that Professor McGonagall turned into a bit of a parental figure for Dumbledore. Those two have such a strong bond, and it's nice to see them taking care of each other. I love the idea of Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey colluding together to take care of Dumbledore, and at least try to keep him healthy.

This was such a lovely story, I'm so glad I got a chance to read it!

katie.

Hufflepuff CtF

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