Ooooh, Alice Greengrass! That's so interesting! Any relation to Astoria?
I really like this whole set up so far. The characterization with Moody is spot on, too! And I can't help wondering which one of the trainees is Frank. I'm really looking forward to seeing how their relationship begins and grows, and if this was just the prologue, I can't imagine what the first chapter will be like or where it'll start. Gah. I'm excited!
Overall, great work! I thought it was a perfect length and very interesting, and everything worked very well! :D Report Review
YOU KILLED HER IN THE FIRST CHAPTER? SARAH! HOW DARE YOU? THAT'S LIKE.I'M MAD AT YOU NOW.
But regardless of Adeline's possible fate (and notice how I say possible), this is so wonderful! I love your characterization of everyone and that Cellulite Phone! Can I have one?
LOVE ALI!Author's Response: I'm a mean person :P I can't help it! Everything is just so much more fun when you get to kill off characters. Thank you so much for your review Ali, you have no idea how much it means to me! And of course you can have a Cellulite Phone! I'll ship one over to you express mail.
Love Sarah Report Review
Oh wow. That was so interesting! I don't think I've come across more sophisticated language. You use words so well and in such an intriguing way...It's beautiful! The characterization is stunning, too. The way they converse and the little subtleties they have, its all just really remarkable. I wish I could write like you!
I especially found the narrator very interesting. You added another character in there besides Lily and Severus! And the use of parenthesis was very interesting, too. Very modern and new, and I liked it a lot. Overall, I'm blown away by this. Its so delicate and beautiful and gah! Great job! Report Review
OH SARAH I LOVE THIS! It definitely has some brilliant horror aspects. You describe her emotion SO well and the dialogue is really well done. I always struggle with dialogue, and this was so amaazzzinnggg and wonderful and great and realistic. And your characterization is beautiful too! You captured Eileen really well, and I'm very curious about this Grimstone. Really wonderful job. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
One thing I would encourage you to do is really play around with words. That's one of the things I love most about writing horror stories. You can experiment a lot with dark, beautiful words, and it adds a lot of depth to the story! But that's just my preference. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. Really wonderful job. You are brilliant!Author's Response: Dark and bueatiful words.. Ali thank you!! I'm definitely going to look into that and spice up the horror in this! Thank you for the wonderfully fantastic review, you have no idea how much I appreciate it :)
-Sarah Report Review
HAHAHAH! wow, that was extremely clever! I really, really enjoyed it. At first, I was like, "Whyyy is Ron all detective-like?" And it wasn't until Harry came in that I realized what was going on.That was really very enjoyable, and so well-written. Very wonderful job! It was a pleasure to read.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
Hahahahahha! That was definitely very cute. A very creative idea for a one-shot. You'd never think a Scorose would take place when they're just little toddlers...Very funny!Author's Response: Thnx! I am glad u liked it! Report Review
How intriguing! That Adeline character is very interesting.I want more of her! And I've always been very interested in Draco, especially in HBP, and this was a very nice portrayal of him at that time. Really great job! This is very well-written and overall a very refreshing story. 10/10 definitely!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm thinking about starting a story about her, but Johanna definitely takes first priority.
HBP Draco was just so much more fascinating, I always thought; he became human.
Thank you so much for your review, and I'm glad that you found it refreshing! I appreciate your input and I hope to have something else Adeline related out soon!
Awww, this was really nice! It was very romantic and sweet. I especially liked that recap of Hermione and Ron through their Hogwarts years. I had completely forgot about how they behaved around each other when they were so young, and it was interesting to see how their relationship has grown and developed, and you showed that very well. Great job, especially for your first one-shot!Author's Response: Yay, thank you so much! I was so nervous, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
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