Reading Reviews From Member: zello818
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by zello818Morning: Morning

5th August 2009:
this was good, but the formatting kinda made me not want to read it just because...it looked long and tedious. four or five solid pragraphs like that can be a little intimidating. There wasn't even any dialogue to break it up. I'm not trying to criticise, i'm just telling you how i felt when i first saw it. I'm sure other people felt like that also. Anyway, i did read it an it was okay. Hope to see more.

Author's Response: Thank you! I will look into revising it soon! Thanks for letting me know what you thought, I really appreciate your advice!!! (:

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Review #2, by zello818Those Were the Days: Chapter I: A Normal Day

5th August 2009:
Oh, james and albus are so cute. This is a really good first chapter. I wonder why they're naming the baby after Luna though...hmmm. Anyway, hope you update soon.

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Review #3, by zello818A New Begining: After the Battle

5th August 2009:
Nice cliffy, i must say. But now, I'm dieing to read more. I hope you updat soon.
"As he turned around he was thinking about everything else, someone stopped him. Someone who happened to have curly red hair and freckles?"--Why is there a question mark at the end of this sentence? I think its a typo so i'm just pointing it out. Great story! Hope to read more soon.

Author's Response: thank u! and it was harry asking himself a question

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Review #4, by zello818The Next Step: The Not So Smooth Proposal

5th August 2009:
some of the formatting's a little awkward and there are some typos but otherwise this was a solid start to what looks like its going to be a great story.

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Review #5, by zello818Will of the Sexes: Underground Wager

1st August 2009:
hmm...this is ok. The construction could use a little work. Also, there's some plotholes like...why aren't there ever any classes? And why are they always alone in the common room? When something like that is stated there needs to be a reason for it and that reason also needs to be stated. For instance, when you said why fred and george were in the school, that was good. There needs to be some kind of rationalisation for the various conditions. I'm not too keen on that whole 'Two Pairs' thing. It doesn't seem like you put too much effort into that moniker...but who knows? Maybe it'll grow on me. Anyway, that's all. I like this alot, its managed to hold my attention this far. I doubt you're still taking constructive crit. on this anyway...because its already finished. But, hey. A review is a review right? Ok, i'm going to continue reading now...

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Review #6, by zello818One Look: Harry's Choice

7th July 2009:
How ironic that Harry ends up in this situation. I would hate this cliffhanger if i had to wait for the next chapter. Luckily, i don't. I knew there was a reason i like completed fics more than WIPs.

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Review #7, by zello818One Look: Unable to See

7th July 2009:
I've changed my mind. Its defenitely logan who's behind the confusion with the letters. I still wish it was beth...but i think Logan is the more plausible choice.

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Review #8, by zello818One Look: Actions Speak Louder...

7th July 2009:
I'm writing this review before i read this chapter because the name alone has me so excited. I love you're chapter graphics by the way. Each one suits their respective chapters. Good job with that. One other thing, i'm convinced that Beth orchestrated the whole letters fiasco. I know, its completely groundless and i must admit my opinion is slightly biased because i hate her character so much but i really do think she did it. XD

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Review #9, by zello818One Look: The Healer's Daughter

7th July 2009:
uh-oh...hmm. I just realised that this is less about the war and a lot mor about harry/Ginny...and i'm very happy about that. I don't have waste time skimming the boring parts. lol. Anyway, I really don't like this beth girl and I hope you get rid of her quickly. Overall, though, i'm loving this so far.

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Review #10, by zello818One Look: Back to the Burrow

7th July 2009:
Gosh, why does ron alwasy interrupt everything? He's so pesty that way. Anyway, this was a well written chapter. Good start to the story. I liked how you didn't linger over Harry's time with the Dursley's. Something that was a little surprising though was that Ginny was going to the movies with Luna and Dean. Would they really take that risk in those dark times. What with voldermort on the rise and everything, it doesn't seem very plausible to me. Other than that, I loved it. Good job.

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Review #11, by zello818Broken Mirrors: Chapter Two

7th July 2009:
This was sooo good. This second chapter especially was so funny!! When everyone was walking in on them? haha. That was just too much. Really good job with this. Very well written. I enjoyed it alot. thanks for writing it. My only critique would be that its too short. I wanted it to never end.

Author's Response: Thank you, zello! Sorry for the length, this one just wanted to be a short story for some reason. :)

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