Great job! I really enjoyed this! You did a great job of making this story really ABOUT something; it wasn't just a silly one-shot for a challenge, it actually incorporated topics relavent to the book, and I totally felt as if I could place it somewhere into actual story canon. I liked your characterizations of Remus and Sirius, too. They felt realistic and true to the books, while still delving a little bit more into their personal lives/thoughts (maybe just Remus's thoughts) than we get to see in the books. Really well done :) Thanks so much for participating in my challenge!Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. :D This was probably the most challenging challenge I've gone for, so thank you for making such a great idea. :D --Jenna Report Review
Ooooh so intriguing! I really liked this (but I may be a little biased because I'm mildly obsessed with Bellatrix...). Your descriptions were fantastic--I love the way you wrote out the whole intro; that's definitely what goes on in Bellatrix's crazy, mad, lunatic, psychopath mind. You brought us into her thoughts extremely well. Great job! And thanks so much for participating in my challenge!!Author's Response: Thanks for this review :) It's the first one I gotten... guess I didn't do all that well because no one seems to want to comment. Anyway, Bellatrix obsessions? Never heard of that one! You must be truly unique! Glad you think I brought you into her mind very well. I was worried about this, because I'm not used to writing evil people. This challenge was definitely a challenge for me, but I had so much fun with it! ~writergirl8 Report Review
Aw, Oliver :P How cute! You did a nice job of creating a sort of parallel/symoblism-type thing with the quaffle and the goal, and their relationship. Subtle; good job! It did feel like a dream, with the slowly growing boos toward the end, and you did a good job of making Quidditch an allegory for Wood's life--as it probably would be, as I'm sure all the guy thinks about is Quidditch. Nicely done, and thanks so much for participating in my challenge :)Author's Response: thanks a lot for the great challenge. :)
I'm glad you liked the symbolism! Report Review
I love how Scorpius is this weird flutist in this story! Sometimes it can get a bit old to continously see him as this studly guy, so I like that you created a unique character. You incorporated the fairy tales very well, and added nice little bits to all of them (the evil witch Celestina Warbeck...hahahaha). And you make a good point at the beginning--who wouldn't fall asleep in Histoy of Magic?! Nicely done :) Thanks so much for participating in my challenge!Author's Response: Hello there! Ha ha, thanks. I like making characters rather unique or different from the norm, but I might have let my imagination get the best of me this time. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, though, so I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Hehe. Thanks. I know I certainly would have fallen asleep in History of Magic. I'm certainly pleased that you enjoyed this so thoroughly. Report Review
Very cute! The story felt very dream-like at the beginning, with her repeating the tripping movement and the changing of her hair. And the end was really sweet. I think you could've expanded a bit more on it, because you created an interesting premise. Also, remember that Tonks's name has an S at the end; it's not Tonk :P
Well done! Thanks for participating in my challenge :D Report Review
Gaaah worst cliffhanger ever!! By worst I of course mean best, but because it's the best, it's really the worst for us readers. ...If that makes any sense. But great chapter nonetheless. I'm so glad you're back! I'm sorry to hear that so much has come up in your life recently, but I'm glad to see that things have cleared up enough that you're able to write again. Fabulous job, can't wait for the next update :) Report Review
Yikes! She's preggers! My thoughts kept changing as I read this...at first I totally thought it was going to be one of those stories where the girl's just like longing obnoxiously after the boy the entire time, and believe me when I say I was very happy to discover it wasn't. Then I kept thinking to myself that I wish that you'd shown us the details of James and Veronica's growing relationship. But THEN they did the deed and of course...she's pregs! Aaaahhh I can't wait to see where it goes. I'm definitely looking forward to the next update :) Nicely done!!Author's Response: OMG, I am so sorry I haven't replied to this yet! I actually replied ages ago, but something must have failed when I submitted it, because here your review is sitting on the unanswered page! So, very very sorry again, I haven't been leaving you hanging on purpose!!
I'm glad you mentioned that this isn't one of those stories where the girl pines after some guy only to discover he's liked her all along. I'm actually looking to do the complete opposite with this story - to chronicle to decline of a love affair rather than the rise of one. Thats why the events in this chapter seem rushed - why you don't get to see the details of their relationship growing. This is just setting things up for the story itself. Veronica's pregnancy will of course play a huge role in the story, but as for where all this is going, I'm keeping mum!
Thanks for the lovely review! I'm afraird there aren't going to be updates any time soon, but I hope when I'm able to continue on with it you will still be around to read it! Report Review
I'm really interested to see where this goes. I can't say much yet, but you've said that you haven't quite gotten into the plot yet. I like that you've used the shoes as a bit of a motif. Perhaps when Bill becomes more of a figure in her life, she won't need the companionship of her shoes anymore? ^^ Nicely done. I really wish I had more to say, but all I can really do is encourage you to update soon! I can't wait till you get further invested into the plot. Will there be any Voldy? Or will it just be purely about their relationship/getting to know you/etc?
Great work!Author's Response: Aw, thank you, I'm glad that you are. Yeah, in the next chapters, I'll be introducing new characters and there will be more of Bill. Yeah, I just picture Fleur as someone who loves shoes. Haha, well, I don't think she'll ever stop buying expensive shoes, even if she has a man in her life. It's okay, I'm just glad that you liked this. Hmm.. I don't think so because I wrote this as a light-hearted fic and if I added him into the mix it'd be kind of heavy. But, yes, the story will be how I picture Fleur and Bill ended up together.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
That was so adorable. I absolutely loved it. I love the image of Lucy and Lysander both thinking that they didn't live up to their crazy families, and then going and doing this. I loved their way of being remembered--it wasn't something obnoxious and in-your-face, it was quiet, and very fitting to their characters, and a great visual.
The story was so sweet, and also such a great concept for a one-shot. It was cute, but it had meaning, too. It was incredibly sweet but actually meant something with regard to the characters, and was a really poignant, albeit brief, look into their lives. Wonderful work! Can I say it again? I loved it :)Author's Response: Thanks! This is by far the pleasant-est thing I've written recently and I'm glad its not just meaningless fluff. I was worried I was overdoing the cheeseÃ¢Â€Â¦.haha. Report Review
I couldn't say it better myself--brilliant! Great work. I like your nonchalant, laid-back characterisation of the two marauder's we've met thus far. (They're far less annoying than how most people write them ^^). A few favourite lines.
"You are a blasphemy against your namesake."
"No, you twat, seriousness."
--I laughed out loud at that one. Actually. I can't get enough of the Sirius-serious jokes, I think I have some sort of problem.
He's a doll, Padfoot is.
Quite a doll. Can't wait to continue this. Lovely intro into the boys' lives. I don't read a lot of marauder stuff because it tends to just depress the heck out of me, but I have a feeling this may not do that, so I figure I'll give it a shot. Well done!
Oh--and the squid rides!!! Bahahaha. Why hasn't anyone thought of that before? Absolutely brilliant. Such a fantastic image. I want a squid ride :P Report Review
Oh gosh! I really liked Rose's borderline insanity. Much more realistic than many of the Rose's out there. You make a great point, inheriting Hermione's value of schoolwork above life and Ron's insane temper cannot equal a normal, level-headed individual! Hahaha. Well done :) I'm also wondering...who's the guy you've got in your banner? :PAuthor's Response: Thank you so much!! Hahaha, wow, if my Rose is semi-realistic, what must the other Roses be like? But yeah, there's no way that poor child turned out normal. Genetics simply won't allow for it. The guy in the banner is Ed Speelers (from 'Eragon'). I think he makes a pretty good Scorpius.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review!! Report Review
Wow, that was really nice :) I liked how you grappled with James/Lily vs. Sirius/Lily. Too often people just sort of throw in some torrid affair between Sirius and Lily, but we all know Sirius wouldn't do that to his best friend! You realistically expressed his contradicting feelings for Lily and James, and in the end he made the right (and realistic) decision. And the hello isn't a goodbye, it's a hello to their new lives ;) Very sweet, very well done, great job!Author's Response: I'm really glad you noticed the tension. All too often, I read a Sirius/Lily where, like you said, it's just some unthinking, passionate hookup or something, you know? And I felt that didn't do justice to the characters at all because Sirius is so much deeper than that. Thank you for commenting on that because I worked really hard on that aspect of the story.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, dear. It means alot. And I'm very happy you enjoyed it :) Report Review
That was so sweet! I really think you should consider expanding this into a longer story, as it's quite a clever idea, and I like the AU you've created. I'm considering writing a Draco/Astoria fic or one-shot, so I've been reading quite a few, and I think this one was done particularly well. I really like this Victorian setting a lot! Well done :)Author's Response: A longer story? Well I never really thought about that...it was kind of just a random inspiration that hit me. I'll consider it though, thanks for the suggestion.
You should definitely write one! They're really fun because you get to explore a different side of Draco, or at least how he found that different side, you know? I hope mine has helped you with your prep to write your own :)
I'm glad to hear you liked the story - thank you for reading and reviewing. Every review means a lot! Report Review
Hooray, I'm finally caught up. I'm glad the group's getting to have a bit more fun now. Things are slowly going back to being a bit more routine--the routine being, of course, reaking havoc across Hogwarts, awkward situations between Aggy and James, etc., etc. This chapter was great, though. I liked all the crazy scenarios--James and Agatha in the cupboard, Mrs. Norris, Jr. (a frightening thought if there ever was one!), good cop-bad cop Agatha and Dom... There are too many to list. Anyways, can't wait for the next update, wonderfully well done, as usual! Report Review
Oh gosh, okay, I don't know how good of a review I can write because I really want to just read the next chapter, but Cooper scares the crap out of me. Which is probably your goal, so, yeah, well done with that bit. Aggy's gone a bit mental, but that's all completely understandible. At least she's not as mental as her absolutely mental nutters shrink. That woman took cray cray to a new level. Okay enough of this nonsensical review. I must continue before I pass out from the awesomeness of this story. Report Review
Yuck. Potter is such a butthead. But I know he'll have to warm up eventually... Right? ...Right?!
Great chapter, again. I love how the tone has changed since Aidan's accident, and you're really keeping consistent with that. Too often people just sort of ignore a tragedy, have the character cry a few times, and get on with it, but you've really taken this seriously and written it beautifully. There are still funny little quips, of course, but 'It' keeps returning so consistently, and Aggy certainly won't be the same for a while. Nor will the others, of course. Great work :) This story really keeps getting better and better with each chapter. One can see that your writing is steadily improving. Wonderfully done! Report Review
Oh no, an accident! Oh gosh I hate stuff like this, where the protagonist's finally realised that she's being used...and then goes off and yells at her user...and then the user gets hurt or something! I don't even know. Anyways, my point is you've left quite the hanging cliff hanger.
What I was planning on saying, before we got to this cliff hanger business, was that what I particularly like about this story is that, not only is it funny, but it's actually intelligent and well-written. It's not just like...oh here's a bunch of laughs and some mild plot and nothing really happens. But you're also providing brilliant descriptions, and your characters are growing and changing. Agatha's epiphany about Aidan--maybe Dom had to draw it out of her, but she probably knew it all along. And this chapter moved really quickly because it was all about their relationship--you knew it was (obviously) important, so you devoted the entire chapter to it. Too many times I find myself dragging myself through chapters just to get to the next one. That definitely doesn't happen with this story. Excellently well done :) Report Review
Beautiful :) Honestly, that's about all I have to say. Well, not quite, I would say continue this/please write more/etc., however, I feel like one-shots are one-shots for a reason, and maybe continuing this would sort of ruin it. But maybe you could write a Teddy/Victoire fic along these lines... hint hint ;) Heehee. Anyways, this really was beautifully written and an absolute pleasure to read. I hope you're proud :P Report Review
Oh my goodness. Foster Matthews is quite possibly my favourite OC I've ever read. Ever. He's hysterical. I really hope he doesn't ever go away because he actually made me laugh so hard. Rather, you made me laugh so hard, with the way you wrote him...jeez. And I thought the beginning of the chapter was funny, what with Scorpius's "gel-product holocaust" hair. Some favourite quotes.
- "Shielding my face with my hand, I groaned in protest as my corneas burnt and shriveled into crisp nothings. No offense to Scorpius—he was a nice kid and everything—but he could seriously do without the eighteen pots of hair gel."
- "Holy Claustrophobia, Batman!" --what?? The image of Freddy walking into the Three Broomsticks and shouting this to James...the Batman to his Robin...oh gosh, please don't give this joke up.
- "I mean, people are saying that I'm like the next Harry Potter of Arts and Crafts..." FOSTER. Never leave. Ever.
The end. I'm done inflating your ego, quite like my friend Foster does to himself. Foster Matthews. Even the name is perfection. 10/10 Report Review
So I started reading this story way back when, but then I...er...sorta stopped. I'm not sure why. Life got in the way or something/it may have slipped my mind a wee bit. But then you left that lovely, lovely review on my AU story and it was so nice and thoughtful, I knew I needed to come back and keep reading this story. Because it was mean of me to leave it in the cold.
This chapter was absolutely hysterical. I love Agatha's internal monologue. She is just too funny for words. Your characterisation is also really good and really consistent. Very well done. Although I must admit James really does bug me quite a bit. I think if I were Aggie I wouldn't be nearly as tolerant...and that's definitely saying something seeing as that she's not too tolerant herself ;) But I do love Aidan--really the whole Bennett family are quite great. I can't wait to see what happens next, and how Agatha explains--or tries to explain--her way out of this one! Great job :D Report Review
That was certainly a dramatic chapter! Haha. I loved that Kenna called Riley a "personal alarm clock". Such a funny image :D I must admit, Marcus's confession was a bit...er...disturbing? But you're right, it'll certainly make the Quidditch match very interesting. I can't wait to see what happens. Must continue! Great work x)Author's Response: Haha, it was, wasn't it? Heh, I'm glad you liked that bit. It IS disturbing. If something like that happened to me, I would react exactly like Ollie did. However, I know that if it happened to anyone else, I'd be laughing like a loon. Plus, the potential for more drama is irresistible! I'm quite glad you liked it, and thanks for your review! Report Review
Oh god! Ooohhh goddd. Well, I certainly saw none of that coming. At all. And a lot happened in this chapter, so well done in terms of not writing filler-ness and giving us lots to look forward to! But...Freddie! How evil. How cruel. I can't wait to see his explanation. Though I can't blame him, with all the flirting Mollie does wtih James... This is a really random review that probably makes no sense but I'm just so shocked! My jaw actually dropped hahaha. Poor Mollie. I also like that you've added in Rebecca's engagement, weddings always add a bit of drama! And this New Year's certainly isn't over yet... Can't wait to see what happens next! This chapter was definitely worth the wait ;) Report Review
Oh thank goodness the dreadful Sophie is gone forever! But I do wish you'd explained a little how the two ended up together in those three months. ...Sequel, perhaps? Hint, hint ;) And I'm not going to lie, as much as we all dislike Sophie, it's hard not to feel bad for someone in her shoes, if her husband-to-be ran away and ditched her for his baby mama... But of course it had to happen!
All in all, really well done. This story is really great and I hope you're really proud of it and happy with the way it turned out. It was very sweet and I really enjoyed following it. It was a great read. Fantastically well done and I look forward to seeing what else you might come up with in the near future! Report Review
Eeee!! I don't even know what to write. Honestly. First, I was so happy that Mara was finally having something nice happen to her--though I wish we'd gotten to see more, at the very least we knew her date with Patrick was more than pleasant. But this moment with James...and the James and Jack moment...oh I want to cry now! Haha. But this means that you've succeeded in your efforts to evoke a reaction from your readers--or at the very least, me. But I can't imagine that I'm the only one! Also I must admit that I'm quite enjoying the serious lack of Sophie that we've been experiencing lately...she was getting quite on my nerves :P Well done! Report Review
Yikes, toeing the line they certainly were! Nice work! I love your descriptions. I feel like I really have a great sense of everyone's tones--and what their tone says about their emotions--because you're so descriptive with everything that happens. Great chapter, as usual! I can't wait to keep reading... Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection