This chapter was definitely as good as the first one. Great job.
I was reading on so ecstatically because the way you left us readers hanging in the last chapter made me so excited. Rose being in the stall and Franky shouting out her name was so exciting and made the scene more fun to read. The way you wrote the scene was realistic and I could imagine the setting when Rose was there.
I wonder what her dream meant. The strange Latin words just creep me out and I think she might be having scary visions like Harry's somewhat. The fact that the train didn't come was so intriguing, especially when none of the professors said anything about it. The Quarantine Room and the bubble were also reasonable additions to the chapter, too.
This chapter was quite well-written with all the great descriptions and dialogue. The plot was very exciting, of course, so I do hope you update soon. Don't hesitate to re-request, I am highly encouraging you to do so because this story is just so good. Keep up the excellent work. :)
-InviWitchie019Author's Response: Once again, so sorry for the delay in my response :)
Thank you AGAIN for the wonderful review! It's very helpful ^^
~Mercy Report Review
Hey, it's InviWitchie019 here for the review you requested.
I never quite expected to read such an interesting story as this but when I read the summary, I was immediately curious. The plot for this is very original and intriguing, which could gain you more readers. The disease also seems so scary, too. Your writing is very realistic, which makes the story more exciting to read.
The people's reactions to the disease at the start of the chapter are exactly what I think I would feel. The fact that the sickness is so far incurable is quite threatening, especially because they're wizards with wands and potions. What happened to Harvey was sad, I could totally connect to his fear since he knew he could have the disease.
There were a few errors which I spotted but then some reviews before me already pointed them out and I know how it feels like when people point out the same stuff over again. Glad to know that your edits are in the queue, as you said in one of the previous author responses.
I gasped when Rose touched Harvey and I knew- I just knew!- that sooner or later, she might have gotten it. Excellent plot twist, that was and I was sure that her Gryffindor side would take over although she was a Ravenclaw. Anyway, this chapter was very well-written and do you know that I'm typing as fast as I could right now so I could get to the next chapter right away? Yes, that is how good you are.
Oh- quick question: How did you come up with the disease name, Morbus? Keep up the brilliant work! :)
-InviWitchie019Author's Response: Sorry about taking so long to respond! Thank you so much for reviewing and giving your feedback, it was very helpful.
And to answer your question, I didn't come up with it :) I knew how many terms and spells in the Harry Potter world are based off of Latin words, so... Morbus literally means disease in Latin ^^
~Mercy Report Review
Another good chapter that just makes me want to read another although I know there isn't another yet.
I really do wonder what happened to Ginny and who that figure is. Sometimes, I think that you hurt Ginny too much in this fic though I trust you; I know it must be important to the plot. Speaking of the plot, it's brilliant and so is the characterization and writing style.
I liked the scene with Ron and Ginny because it just showed how much of a good brother Ron could be, even though he has an emotional range of a teaspoon (haha). I also liked the part with Ron, Hermione, and the Italian waiter. That was funny.
Ginny, her dreams, tantrums, and attacks really are confusing and they just make me want to find out what's really happening. Somehow, I have this feeling that the plot line won't fall flat and the fact that Harry and Ginny's relationship are going through a roller coaster ride isn't helping my excitement cease.
Keep up the amazing work! :)
-InviWitchie019Author's Response: I know it's super confusing right now- in future chapters I promise it will start to make sense!
Thank you so much for reviewing ALL five chapters! It meant a lot. I hope you'll keep reading in the future. Thanks a million again :)
~EnnaBellaPotter Report Review
What just happened to Ginny? Seriously, you write so well that sometimes I can't help but babble incoherently about what just happened. Anyway, I exaggerated that a bit but then it is a bit true, you know.
Okay, so that was a good chapter. Happy birthday to Ginny and did you know that MY birthday is on the 19th of November? Haha, anyway, the characterization and plot layout are good as always and your writing style just improves every chapter.
Harry and Borgin's meeting puzzled me, mainly because I wanted to find out who these seven witches and who this J. Oscar people were. This seems really exciting and I loved George's birthday gift to Ginny, which was just sweet. You have a way of making the words on the page come to life in a single scan of a reader's eye, which is amazing.
Keep up the brilliant work! :)
-InviWitchie019Author's Response: I guess you'll just have to find out what happened to Ginny ;)
Really your bday is Nov. 19th? That's too weird. Actually, Ginny's bday isn't the 19th, but the way this story was going I had to make a few adjustments to bdays.
Borgin (everytime I write that word I laugh; it's such a funny word!) is a puzzling man, and that's what I'm trying to characterize him as, so I'm glad it's working!
Thanks again! You're reviews make me smile!
~EBP Report Review
I really liked this chapter! It showed how much Harry still cares for Ginny and how she still loves Harry.
The characterization was great. I expected Hermione to freak out a bit and Ron to protest when Ginny asked for Harry. Most of all, I expected Harry to keep his cool because he has a tendency to help a lot so I think he'd be used to it.
I really do wonder what happened to Ginny and why it happened, which is a good plot mover. And they took the stag pendant, which has an STC? Oohh... haha.
Anyway, your writing style is improving a lot. It's a good addition to a story with an awesome plot line so make sure your chapters have an equality between description and dialogue, which is true here. Keep up the brilliant work! :)
-InviWitchie019Author's Response: I always figured Ginny never really 'let go' of Harry- I mean, who could? He's like, the perfect boyfriend model. So anyways.
Yes you're right Harry is usually the one to keep his cool when everyone else is panicking. I felt the need to keep that characterization in my story becuase that's part of what makes Harry Potter Harry Potter :)
Gee, I'm really happy you like this story!
~EBP Report Review
Hey! I really liked this chapter as much as the first one. It was really well-written and the events intrigue quite a lot.
I liked the descriptions and the dialogue you wrote for the ball because it was really realistic and good. Your writing style is very unique and you have a lot of potential so keep it up. I also love how you make Ron and Hermione's and Harry and Ginny's relationship go further in the party.
Ron's speech seemed awesome enough and I'm happy he took the limelight for once. Characterization was brilliant here because the characters were portrayed really well. I'm excited as to Harry and Ginny's relationship especially because the Cho girl seemed like a love rival to me.
The plot is really good so far because you never have a point in your story where it gets boring and the plot just falls flat. Well, it's early in the story, anyway. I really do wonder what happened to Ginny.
Great job, keep up the amazing work! :)
-InviWitchie019Author's Response: I have to say the party was one of my favorite parts to write! I'm glad you liked it.
Yah, I figured Ron deserved some spotlight. I mean, he's a completely overlooked hero and I think he needed some limelight for once :)
Yes the 'Cho-girl' will be playing a very important role in this story in the future, just and FYI :)
I'm so glad you like the story and the plot.
~EBP Report Review
Hey! I think you have a good, long chapter here and I concluded that you're a great writer, which is awesome for just a first chapter.
I like how you wrote the dream; it seemed all scary for Ginny and I really do wonder what it means. The plot layout is also good here and the characterization is perfect. Your writing style is also totally unique and I like it. It makes the story all the more better and then again, I also wonder what is Harry's job?
The way you write descriptions and dialogue are both equally good and it's always best to keep balance between those two. You have a way of keeping the story interesting throughout the whole chapter and then again I ponder on Harry and Ginny's relationship in the future chapters.
You have a great story going on here and have a lot of potential. Keep up the amazing work! :)
-InviWitchie019Author's Response: Thannk you so much for reveiwing! I don't get much feedback on this story in particular and I wanted someone's opinoin on it, so thanks.
I'm glad you liked it!
~EnnaBellaPotter Report Review
This was another good chapter though the story flow still needs to slow down at some parts and speed up at others. Good job, though, your preview excites me.
I understand that you wrote this in a hurry but I never thought Lucius could be so persistent, which was a bit funny and menacing at the same time. I also like how you portray Harry, concerned and sorry for others' well-being due to his danger magnet, haha.
Make sure you don't overdo the foul language but then without it, I don't think the characters would be mature enough. I really am excited for the next chapter so right now, I'm contemplating on how the hell Harry became so rich.
Your characterization, plot layout, and writing style are all quite good but then your story flow and plan needs to be more organized. I understand that you hurried this but that is no reason to write a chapter messily.
Keep up the brilliant work, though! :)
-InviWitchie019Author's Response: Yeah, thanks for the great review, the preview was just a taster of the next chapter. I've thought the next few chapters out but i've only written CHP4 so far. Harry's character has matured alot since the last battle and will have some profanity but not too much lol. Ron's also going to be like that but he won't go over the top.
The next chapter is actually mainly about his inheritance, he'll tell the others about it in CHP5.
Thanks for the great review and praise! Report Review
Wow. That was another great chapter which I really liked a lot, more than the first.
The surprise attack from Lucius was quite unexpected but then the way you let the students and Death Eaters fight was a bit confusing. I liked it though but then you could work more on the flow. The fact that Kingsley offered the Order of Merlin First and Second Class to Harry and almost everyone else made this chapter awesome too.
I also feel angry like Ginny about how they have to interrogate Harry but remember, you don't have to use all caps for impact, emphasis, and anger from a character. Brilliant characterization, plot layout, and descriptions, though, good job!
Keep up the amazing work! :)
-InviWitchie019 Report Review
This was a generally short chapter but also well-written. I also think that you could have elaborate on Harry and Ginny's relationship and made them more mature.
Otherwise, I found the characterization good and the plot seeming to unfold itself enough as a first chapter would. The word choice is good but I suggest you tone down on using capitals; there are other ways on showing emphasis on words. I like how you made Harry apparate to the common room though they were in castle walls too.
Keep up the good work. :)
-InviWitchie019 Report Review
OH MY GOSH. I just love this chapter!! I was laughing when they had to find a tuxedo for James. I can imagine Lily wanting to have a wedding complete with James in a tux in a church with a priest. I kept on squealing whenever the word 'wedding' was mentioned; go Lily and James!
I loved the irony when Remus wanted to have fun at the party while Sirius wanted to finish the speech! That was just so funny. I was also a little surprised when Petunia and Vernon turned up at the big day but I'm happy for Lily that they did.
My favorite part was the wedding itself, of course. It was really well-written and I squealed when they kissed. Amazing chapter, really, and the grandchildren part made me laugh like there was no tomorrow.
Sirius' speech was very, very, very beautiful. I loved how he made everyone laugh and took Remus' advice on saying Lily and James deserved the wedding. Anyway, brilliant chapter; if there was such thing as adding a chapter to my favorites, it would be this one.
Keep up the great work. Update soon!! Please and thank you! :)Author's Response: I'm so glad every time someone says they liked this chapter because there's been the build up to this for the whole story and I wasn't sure I did it justice. James + tuxedo = bad combination. Yay Lily and James!
It is ironic. Remus has definitely been living with Sirius too long. I had to have Petunia show up. She always puts on the act that she hates Lily, but I bet she wanted to see her sister's big day.
The wedding was what worried me the most so I'm relieved you like it. Oh there's mention of grandchildren again soon...
I loved writing Sirius's speech - making it funny and serious at the same time. Lily and James really did deserve it. After everything that's happened, they need that bit of happiness. Yay it would be added to the imaginary list of favorite chapters!
I may have an update up tomorrow, but definitely sometime this week. Thanks for reading! Report Review
This chapter was written very well. Sirius meeting Regulus and soon after, his father was a really good idea. It's so sad how he wasn't able to reach out to Regulus but then it isn't his fault, anyway.
I also can't believe the Marauders are all grown up enough to be fighting. It was only a month ago when I had read them young and in Hogwarts in this story. Yeah, well we have Voldemort to blame for all the youngsters fighting. I feel really sorry for all those affected by the monster- okay, now I'm rambling.
This chapter was rather sad but then really good at the same time, if you know what I mean. Keep up the amazing work! And update soon... Please and thank you!! :)Author's Response: Putting Mr. Black in was something just spur of the moment. It did make sense that he would try and get information out of Sirius. It is sad, but there's been so many rifts between Sirius and Regulus that it just wouldn't happen.
I know! They're all grown up *sniffles* It's scary because I'm slowly coming to the end of the story. Yeah, let's blame Voldemort. No, it's good rambling. They shouldn't have had to do what they did.
Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading! Report Review
Oh my gosh! That was an awesome chapter with a lot of fun and drama. Please update faster because I love this story! Keep up the brilliant work! :)Author's Response: thanks! Next chapter's already waiting for validation :) Report Review
Apparently, you have made me cry. Ron and Hermione are really difficult to write in a death scene for some people including me but you wrote it perfectly spot on! I also think Fiendfyre was the best spell for the moment and I am telling you, I only ever cry on a fic very rarely. I could count this as only my third time to do so. Great job.
You wrote this so well, so elegantly, that my love for this story just grew to its peak. Ron, Hermione, the Death Eaters, and all the action, romance, drama, and angst was splendid. I don't know how you managed to squeeze this all together in one fic. That just proves you're an amazingly talented writer; don't deny it.
Everything is perfect, from writing to plot to portrayal of characters- brilliance was shining all throughout. I salute you for being a great writer and never have I felt so awed by a fic like this. Keep up the good work! :)Author's Response: Ok, now that's really heavy praise. Thank you very much.
This chapter was about as painful to read as it was to write.
The image of Hermione, crying uncontrollably, with her knees pulled up to her chest was what this entire chapter was built on. Gotta admit, that still kind of gets to me . . .
I can't thank you enough for your absolutely wonderful reviews. It really is appreciated.
thanks again! Report Review
This chapter was another great one, obviously. You have never written a chapter that has failed to please me and that is really awesome. :)
I was wondering why the chapter title was Better Him Than Us and then when I finished reading, I realized how their plan using Yaxley was good. It may have seemed a bit unfair to the guy but hey, better him than them, right? Haha, I just loved how you stressed the fact that Ron and Hermione made a great plan even though they were going through so freaking much already. And gods, I haven't even started on Dover. The scene there was amazingly eerie and well-described, which made the readers' knowledge of the dead families lying around there sink in.
I just have to say this again and I won't tire of doing so: brilliant, amazing, splendid job on your writing. Keep up the awesome chapters! :)Author's Response: Hey Invisi! First, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your review. I've been out of town and just got back.
I'm really really glad you're liking the story. This was a particularly dark chapter and Hermione will suffer some consequences because of it.
Dover. Yeah, that's heavy stuff. That portion went through several re-wites until I was happy with it. I'm glad you thought it was "eerie" that was precisely what I was going for. Thanks! Report Review
Another great chapter!
This was a good plot addition to the story. It really shows Ron becoming more mature and keeping his family safe. Their mission makes it all the more exciting as well. I never expected a chapter on Ron and Hermione having a row but I must say, the effect is good.
I really enjoyed this chapter as much that I realized a lot about the two's relationship and read a good piece of writing at the same time. Excellent work! :)Author's Response: Thanks!
I really liked letting Ron finally grow up and I think this chapter is the most telling in that regard.
Their fight went through several re-writes before it reached its present state. I'm really glad you liked it.
Thanks again! Report Review
This was a really amazing chapter!! I couldn't help gasping and reading more avidly as the words went by. Really great.
The idea about Apparating was brilliant and very creative, which made the plot more exciting. Your writing style is also really improving and makes the story all the better. And the fact that Ron and Hermione could only Apparate in sight is thrilling. And also because Harry seems to help them whenever they ask him for help!
Amazing chapter, I absolutely loved it. Now I'm off to the next without hesitation!! :)Author's Response: This was about my favorite chapter. I'm glad you liked the limitation on Apparation. I thought it really helped to make things more desperate. The only problem was, it took me awhile to figure out how they got away.
Is Harry helping them from beyond the grave?
Hard to say . . .
I'm really pleased you're hooked. Thanks! Report Review
This was another good chapter. Sorry, though, for having a really long delay for the reviewing; HPFF isn't one of my top five priorities like it used to be.
You make it seem like a typical Ron/Hermione and then the special twist is made dramatically after a while, which was good. Writing emotions and making them come alive in the paper are great qualities that a writer could have, what YOU have.
But then... What could have happened to Teddy? The plot thickens. Keep up the awesome work! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much for the awesome review!
And no apologies needed; I understand the time constraints problem implicitly!
This chapter was a bit of a challenge, so I'm glad that you thought it came off well.
Teddy? Well . . . Report Review
This was another great chapter; I liked it. Your writing style really is improving and that's a good factor of this story.
I was quite sad that Hagrid had to die too but I sort of expected it, seeing that the world comes crashing down at Ron and Hermione's feet. Ron asking Harry for advice was sad; he should miss his best friend at that point. I like how you make his and Hermione's relationship strengthen too, despite the fact that everyone except them has died.
Brilliant chapter, keep up the great work! :)Author's Response: I'm so glad you came back for more.
I've gotten a lot of grief over killing Hagrid. Sorry! It had to be done; I needed him to relay how Harry died, but after that, there just wasn't any room for him in this tale.
Ron's invocation of Harry occurs throughout the story. Now, is Ron simply missing him or his he actually communing with Harry? That's hard to say . . .
I'm really glad you're enjoying this. Although, given the dark nature of this story, "enjoy" might not be the right word.
Thanks so much for the return visit! Report Review
Hey! It's InviWitchie019 from the forums here to make a late review. Sorry about that.
Anyway, I like your characterizations. There's something about Dom (lol the title) that makes her a good character. She isn't the perfect type like in other stories; she's just Dom, which is good if you know what I mean.
Teddy is also quite hopeless with his unrequited love for Victoire. Vic, meanwhile, is a good character yet she's almost falling under the Mary-Sue category. But it's alright, seeing that your characterizations are really good.
There were a few grammatical errors though I think a good look-through and edit would do enough. I also love your descriptions because they really help make the story go alive, which is great.
I do hope that your story will become original and unique from all the other typical Ted/Dom/Vic stories. I'll have to read the next chapter, then!
Keep up the great work!! :)
-BriannaAuthor's Response: It's quite alright, thanks for getting back ! (:
For the characterizations of Dom and Teddy they took much thought and its good to hear your feedback on them.
Dom, I tried to make normal, which is break through! hahah There is that 'something' about her that I tried to get readers to pick up on...and you did!
Teddy is quite lovable and hopeless and Vic does fall into the Mary-Sue category a bit in this chapter. I wanted to introduce her with Teddy's POV to show how he thinks she has no flaws. When your in love, your blind to people's traits...well thats how it is with Teddy.
You like the descriptions? (: I was worried they were a bit...wordy and boring as are most desciptions.
Grammer has always been my downfall, but I am working on finding a beta!
Thank you for your lovely review Brianna! Hoped you enjoy the next chapter (:
becca xx Report Review
Hey, I decided to continue reviewing the second and third chapters too since I was intrigued.
This chapter didn't have as much errors as the first but I think a little editing (either you do it yourself or get a beta) would do the trick. Description is also a good factor to keep in mind because I usually see a lot of dialogue here. Don't worry, it still flows well, which is great.
The plot is quite interesting especially because of the fact that this is a Post-Hogwarts Dramione ish story. Characterization is also brilliantly done, which makes it easier for the reader to feel with the characters. I felt so sorry for Draco and amused by how Hermione was concerned about what could happen to him.
Keep up the great work,
-IW19Author's Response: Again thank you for continuing reading!
I put a lot of work into the characterization, so I'm glad it payed off!
I'll keep you updated if I submit new chapters if you like!
Greets Miriel Report Review
First of all, I understand the case when your English isn't the most used in your country. That's my case too so like the reviewers before me, I see errors. Don't worry; a beta could help.
The layout, paragraph division, dialogue, and quotations need to be worked on but otherwise, this actually very well-written. I liked this first chapter because it sort of showed what the story is all about, which what exactly a first chapter should do.
Anyway, I'm starting to like this good story despite its needs for improvement. Keep up the great work; I may or may not review the next chapter, though. It depends whether my school bus arrives early or not. lol.
-IW19Author's Response: Hez thaks for the compliment!
yeahhh...I`m still working on the layout...ANd with the quotation marks and such, I'm just experimenting with the keyboard and the international modus, so maybe I'll get better soon:)
Great you liked it!!! Report Review
Oh my gosh, this chapter most probably is in the best most historical humor section of HPFF's archive!
The male dominating the female werewolf thing was hilarious; I laughed every time the word 'dominate' appeared. Great plot and characterization!
Keep up the excellent work!! :)Author's Response: Lol, thank you so much! I don't beleive its is there *Is there a section?* I'm probably being dense lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing! *HUGS* Report Review
Another great chapter from the amazing Echo. You portrayed all the characters well, as always. Your writing is also rich with real words, if you know what I mean. Great job.
Remus, Minerva, and Severus are really kind to help poor Hermione out. Especially Remus, this is Remione, right? LOL Your stories are so awesome.
Excellent work!! :)Author's Response: Yes, Its a Remione! Thank you so much! Report Review
Yo Echo! I liked this chapter; it showed more of Hermione relying on Remus a lot and he had to explain about the pains of transformations.
The part when they realized they'd end up in the same room, naked, was funny; I wonder how it turns out. Great chapter, I have short review, though. Well, that's most likely because I'm so speechless.
Excellent work!! :)Author's Response: *Sqees* I love your reviews!!! lol. I had so much fun writing the first few chapters of this storie... It definately brought out a bit of humor in me lol. *HUGS* Report Review
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