Wow, updates are fast, I'm finally caught up. Not suprised but sad to see Alara was in danger from a source who double crossed her due to a hatred they couldn't see past.

So glad Walter and Nigel are on her side even if they don't particularly like Severus, although they seem to have enough integrity to look past the issues that Severus brings (which is how it should be). Also glad the centaurs helped Severus out.

I like how you wrote the Alana and Ollivander scene at Hogwarts and his shop, but a little surprised Severus would be so stern with the boy. I guess he has a reputation to uphold (lol).

I'm glad that Severus finally open his mouth and offered to escort Alana. I take this as a beginning stage to him opening up to her (so to speak). At least he is being caring in his demeanor to her and not as cross anymore. But I fear she may get frustrated if he continues to be silent when she is wanting/needing interactions from him.

Good work!! 10/10!! Looking forward to more. Happy writing. -Lauraf68

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Just found your story and read through all chapters posted before reviewing. Very engaging premise. I was completely in shock when you had Voldemort cast old magic and then have him disappear (I really want to know how he learned it). I thought for sure Harry would still defeat him. I felt the anguish Harry would have experienced.

This chapter was nice for tying up some loose ends, although I wonder if Lavender survived? After Merlin sat down and Fawkes showed up, I felt relieved. BUT, then When he introduced himself, I felt like he said too much. His comment about "family myth" and "wishful thinking" feels like a bold faced lie that may count against him later. Just feel like he could have left off the "wishful thinking".

Your writing style is fluid and very explanitory, which is nice because of the changes you have made. I give you a 9/10 on this chapter (mostly because of the one comment). However if I were to rate the piece as a whole it would be 10/10!!!

Happy Writing!! -Lauraf68

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Thanks for expanding on Chapter 1 of your WIP. This is very helpful backstory. Although, I get the feeling there could be even more when it comes to Harry & Ginny's relationship, Fred's funeral and the Weasley's getting on with life. Am I safe to assume it will come within that storyline?

Keep up the good work, Happy Writing!!-Lauraf68

Author's Response: Thanks for your review, but unfortunately that's all there is for this story. Sorry to disappoint, but having never lost a family member and never been to a funeral, I really don't feel comfortable writing in great depth about how they would all be feeling at that point it time.
As for Harry & Ginny's relationship, personally I don't imagine that it would have been anything more than them picking up where they left off pretty much and dealing with all the losses, and I can't find myself interested in writing about that relationship.

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Dear Wildmoon,

I just recently found your story and have been trying to catch up to the end chapter (nice to have such timely updates). Overall I give you a 9.99/10 (.01 mark off for tiny bit too much angst from time to time). But of course that's just me, I bet some people love that. :-)

I'm really enjoying your OC, Alana. Her backstory is so creative and yet flows well and very believable. I love her interactions you have crafted with the other Hogwartians (students included). I think it is nice to see a Ravenclaw not so full of themselves. But of course she is like Hermione and could have fit into Gryffindor too.

At first your Snape was so 'Snarky' I thought for sure it would get him no where but friendless. Then he was attacked so many times I thought for sure he would be killed or maimed.

Now I hope that the Centaurs will help save Alara's life and not claim they cannot because of some prophesy mumbo jumbo.

I have enjoyed your writing technique. So smooth and well thought out. There are times I think you are going one direction with an idea and out of nowhere it changes. All the while still making sense and staying true to character.

I honestly look forward to more and hope Alana will recover well. While seems unusual for them to be together after harboring such negative feeling, I think in time they could build a loving relationship.

Keep up the good work and Happy Writing!!! - Lauraf68

Author's Response: Thanks for your thoughts! I find them interesting- when I first started putting this story together I was afraid of neutering our dear Snape, it's good to know that I may have overshot my runway a little bit and not allowed him to grow out of "Professor Snark" quickly enough. I appreciate the critique!

This is intended as part of a trilogy, Book two is nearly done. I will definately consider your words as I edit.

Alara was indeed a hat-stall for me, having a lot of Gryffindor qualities. I felt that Snape needs someone brave enough to take him on and smart enough to figure out how to do it. But ultimately, his anti-Gryffindor prejudices wouldn't allow him to kind of 'let her in' so to speak. In her backstory that I don't have published, what drove her to be top of her class is the fear that she didn't actually belong in Ravenclaw, it was only her wand that got her in. So she's pretty much always feeling like she has something to prove. Of course, she actually made top of her class, and nearly top of her year, so she must have belonged there.

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Very nice chapter. So glad everything worked out for the Granger's getting back to England without any residual memory deficits. Of course it's also wonderful each set of parents are glad to see the two of them together and happy.
Keep up the good work. Happy Writing. -Lauraf68

Author's Response: Thank you so so much! It's such a good feeling knowing that some people like my story! To be completely honest though, I could never have had it end any other way, bringing her family back together seemed really important to me. I hope the ending wasn't too cheesy, trying to decide where and how to finish a story is easily what I classify as my weakest spot.

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Poor Bright Shadow. I hope you 'allow' her to go live with Sev & Al. :-)
Good work here. Happy Writing!! -Lauraf68

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Interesting premise. Well written. Although not the Ginny I am accustom to reading about. Seems to me like JKR's Ginny would never have run away from her brothers for such an extended time.
However, this is your Ginny and I will assume that whatever made this Ginny run away was tied to the reason Molly & Arthur are no longer alive.
I am interested to see where you take this story. -Lauraf68

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Just found your story. Very nice 2nd Chapter, 1st chapter felt a bit rushed. I enjoyed the way R&H found her parents, very entertaining. Looking forward to more.
Happy Writing! -Lauraf68

Author's Response: Thanks Laura I really appreciate the feedback, I know the 1st chapter was a bit rushed, I wasn't sure how to add more without drawing it out for ages.
Thanks again

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Sorry haven't reviewed in a while. Been loving the story. So excited for Celia getting to do the commercial. Expected that one of the boys would get it, glad it's now both.

My favorite quote from the chapter---Remus laughed. "Sirius, we're all horrible brats when we're sick. It's because we're men. Or at least, that's what your mum says."

Happy Writing! Lauraf68

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WOW! Life is never boring at the Potter's, huh? Enjoying you chapters! Keep up the good work! -Lauraf68

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Wonderful! 10/10! Spot on characterizations, just wonderful!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it :)

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So glad to see this is a Novella! (I was a bit confused because the status is listed as Completed.)

I LOVE how Harry told Ron, and how he reacted. I also love how Hermione figured it out along the way.

Oh boy, Astoria is the healer. Hmmm, should be interesting.

10/10 my dear!! Happy Writing and re-posting! Looking forward to the,next chapter!! -Lauraf68

Author's Response: It is a completed story, I just am reposting a chapter at a time as I edit. Some people don't want to read a WIP because they have to wait a long time for updates. This will be updated every 3 days or so. I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for reviewing!~GW

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Ohhh, IT'S A GIRL, YIPPEE!!! So glad the boys are happy to have a little sister. I especially love how Sev has already taken to her. He is really opening up his heart within this second chance at life. Although I had to laugh at how frustrated he became with Alby, some tendencies of 'Professor' Snape were coming out. LOL!!
Good job as always! Happy Writing! -Lauraf68

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The first paragraph made me LOL!! I think most married people feel that way from time to time. Luckily most of us have a moral compass that points us in the correct direction.

I love this story and am sad that it's only a one-shot. Might you consider a couple more chapters to take through the birth of James Sirius? :-)
--Lauraf68

Author's Response: This isn't a one shot! It's a novella that does just that! I hope you stick around. It's a finished story, so I'll be updating every 3-4 days. I'm glad you're enjoying it!~GW

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Nice one!! Well written!! I could feel Neville's exhaustion and raw emotion through your narrative. I felt his irritation when Hannah first spoke, and I felt his release at the end. {I love the Hannah/Neville relationship.}. Neville is finally a hero!! Thanks for a great read! -Lauraf68

Author's Response: I am a canon fanatic. Because JKR said they ended up together, they ended up together. I tried hard to capture Neville's emotions. After wanting to stand out for so long, he finds he'd rather fade into the background now. It's been a long, harrowing journey for them all. I wanted to show Neville's growth. I'm so pleased you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!~GW

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Cute! Liked your take on the months following the war. I loked how the four teens remodled Harry's house but surprised you didn't have Kreatcher helping.

I also like the idea of Harry & Ron going back to school! Not that JKR was wrong, I just think he would have benefitted from a year of rest from fighting for his life.

I laughed at you making him sweat from worrying about the re-sorting. I never had any doubt though, only a Griffindor would sacrifice themselves for the well being of others.

Well done!! -Lauraf68

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :) I hadn't actually thought about Kreacher, maybe I'll edit him in when I go over this again ;)

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Very good interpretation of Hermione's life, you captured her personality well plus believable actions of her parents.

I think this is well written, however, I found a couple of spelling/grammar issues.
1) Last paragraph: "It had been a truly exhausting day. Hermione's had sent her to bed earlier" -- needs 'parents' added.
2) Near beginning: "Without a seconds warning the sky had turned black, the heavens had opened and it had poured." -- Too many had's. In my opinion the sentence would be better as, "Without a warning the sky turned black, the heavens opened, and it poured down rain.".

I will say that I was disappointed to see that this was only a one-shot chapter. I would have liked to see your interpretation of the Granger's in Diagon Alley and Hermione receiving her wand. (Hint, hint)

I plan to check out your other stories and add you to my author list!! Happy writing! -Lauraf68

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I plan to go back over my one shots once I've finished my longer story, I've noticed some bits in the others that need changed so will add your suggestions to the list :)
I have considered making this one a little longer, I've written a few odd paragraphs but nothing major, keep checking back ;)
Thanks again and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Very interesting premise. I like what you have started and am interested in seeing where you are going with it. I am hoping what Narcissa has to say will free Sirius, and if Sirius is free maybe Harry doesn't have to grow up with the Dursley's??

Your chapter is well written but I did find one mistake in the last paragraph. A "Sweet" is something we eat. But a "Suite" is somewhere we live.

Happy Writing!! I look forward to your next chapter. - Lauraf68

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I LOVE IT!!! That was so good and can totally relate after 25 yr. of marriage. -Lauraf68

Author's Response: Sometimes, I woman has to do what a woman has to do. The romance isn't gone, but you do have to go hunt it down occasionally. Thanks for reviewing!~GW

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I wondered if that scene was a memory, and that is why I've NEVER let my daughter have one-- LOL!!
My favorite scene was the last one. Christmas decorating and baking with the kids. So glad that Sev will have finally have some happy memories!!
Keep up the good work!! Happy Writing!! Lauraf68

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I LOVED that you called it Vault #394!!
My favorite Snape quote from POA, (Think Alan Rickman calm smooth voice for full effect), "Turn to page three-hundred-and-ninety-four."

Great chapter once again! Looking forward to seeing if Alby can talk to Dragons. Thanks, Happy Writing!! Lauraf68

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DUN, DUN, DUN!! The Wicked Witch almost had a pretty one there (just watched Wizard of Oz--LOL!). Oh my--Pansy's sure to try some revenge, huh? Not that I think she could win, but she sure could cause a fuss. Awesome kid jibes you had there, I especially loved Lily's.
Happy Writing! Lauraf68

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Wow, amazing chapter. Some good, some bad. But all with resolution and moving toward healing and the future. I especially liked the Remus / Severus storyline healing of trust. AND finally the answer to whom will care for Lily, unexpected! But not a bad thing, everyone deserves a second chance! Happy Writing! -Lauraf68

Author's Response: Thanks again! And I have a new chapter for you.

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It was most definitely FILLED with emotion -- yes, yes -- DEFINITELY FILLED. I hope this gives Sevvy what he needed. A cleaning of the soul, if you will. I hope it allows him to move forward and grow into being a new person of Severus Potter! Happy Writing!! -Lauraf68

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So glad you're trying to write again! Even if it is to rework an old one. I found one typo near the beginning. The paragraph that has Hugo reaching for the chess board reads as 'eaching'.

Such a great story & lesson. Some of us aren't meant for greatness but are meant to be there for the ones who are. Thanks for the reminder!!

Happy Writing (when you have time)! -Lauraf68

Author's Response: Thank you! Fixed that typo! This was the third one shot I ever posted, and one of my favorites. I loved the idea of Ron as a dad, being someone's hero. I'm so glad you liked it. Ron was the glue that held the trio together, as we saw when he left. He wasn't the Chosen One, but he was important. I wanted to show him getting some adoration, but being secure in himself finally. Glad you liked it! I appreciate your opinion!~GW

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