Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.

Reading Reviews From Member: Prongs05JP
106 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Prongs05JPBefore They Fall: Surviving the First Defy

20th August 2013:
So I've been away from reading James/Lily fanfiction for a while, a good year or two really, and this is pretty much the first one I've read in a while - and I have to say I'm totally astounded. By this whole fic, the writing, the characterizations; you have an incredible amount of talent and an amazing grasp on the Marauders and this whole era. I was planning on doing what I normally do, which is read all that's available and then leave a long review at the end, but I just had to drop a comment right now because the last sentence of this chapter really captured me. I mean, it looks simple and it is, and I have no idea if you intended it to have any deeper meaning, but I really read into it.
It just really sums up for me the whole attitude of all of them - the Gryffindors and the Slyherins alike, playing adult and getting involved in either side of the war when really, deep down, they are still just children. "But, for now, they weren't members of this war. They were all just her children." - exactly like Olivia thought. James and Lily can fight and curse but they're still just seventh years. Regulus can march around and try and control events to work in Voldemort's favour, but he's still just as much a child as the rest of them and the fact that he has his heart set on a racing broom and can still consider that a priority in his life is a huge testament to that; all the growing up they've still got to do.
I could honestly go on forEVER about the connotations of it and turn this into an English essay, and I can't say that happens everyday when reading fanfiction, haha! I don't know, this whole chapter really got to me in such a firstwizardingwarfeels way and I wanted to let you know that it's just SO superb.
I look forward to reading the rest, and good job! :)

Author's Response: Hi there :)!! Sorry for how long this response has taken, but I've been on vacation visiting family :)!

One of the main reasons I chose Regulus for this last section was, because like you said, they're still all children. Both sides, good and bad, involve people too young that should never had to make the decisions that they'll make. I'm really excited you read into that last sentence, and it makes me so happy that you're picking up on the things that most people don't! I don't always have any deeper meaning in some stuff, but that was one of the parts where I actually did!

I'm SO honored that you took the time to stop and review, an can't tell you how happy it makes me that you're picking up on so much of the feelings that I have while writing this. You've put such a huge smile on my face, and I really hope you like the rest of the story!!

Thank you!! ♥ Jami

PS, love your penname :D!

 Report Review

Review #2, by Prongs05JPYou Want To Make A Memory?: A Compartment For Four

10th August 2013:
Well, hey there! Haha, I was going through a bit of a nostalgic phase and decided to give this fic another go. It might take me weeks or months to finish it, but I'm a man on a mission! Goodness. When I first started reading this I was in my mid-teens and pretty immature (it shows in the reviews I used to leave, dear Merlin LOL [a testament to how much I was enjoying the story, I assure you, but not my level of intelligence bahaha]) and a part of me was wondering if I'd bigged this all up as being greater than it was because of how young I was when reading it (no offence, of course). Turns out I was totally wrong, and I still adore this! It's so interesting to now look back on this from a different perspective (a lot can change in three years!) and even more satisfying to enjoy it just as much as I did then. Even just the first chapter, haha!

Not going to lie, I got pretty emotional just reading this first paragraph knowing that the story ends so bittersweetly, but as ever it's fantastic. You've set the four of them up really well for whatever misdemeanours they're going to get up to, and you're already playing on each individual trait that makes them how they are. Peter's desire to prove himself, Remus' lonliness, Sirius in the clutches of the Blacks and James just.. well, being James.

I remember when I read all of this the first time, it pretty much became canon for me. That in mind, I'm looking forward to getting to know the four of them all over again - thank you so much for this fic.

Now answer my review or.. face the wrath of.. me? Wasn't that what I used to do?

Yo' Biggest Fan

Author's Response: Haha hi! I go to the nostalgic place sometimes too and read things I haven't read in ages too, so you're in good company :-p Haha your reviews were entertaining though! I'm glad that it's still good to you and you're just not remembering it better than it actually is :D And the fact that it became canon for you is pretty awesome too (especially with all the information we just got off Pottermore about Lupin - which, if you haven't read, go read it now... even though it's depressing as anything).

Haha yes it is, I had to face the wrath lol thanks for reading! (Again!)

 Report Review

Review #3, by Prongs05JPAshen Petals: Chosen

4th November 2011:

This was fantastic Sevvy! I thoroughly enjoyed it, the full 500 words of it! A very interesting concept, I loved the idea of the burning flames and all that stuff. Your description is lovely, I know how restricting it can be having to narrow everything down to 500 words - it can all get a little irritating, especially with having to leave out certain things and all that shizzle. All that jazz. Jazzzeeey... ahem, anyway.

Onto the topic of the mysterious boy(s), if I may! Well my first guess would obviously have been Tom Riddle, loving destruction and fire and such, but then again - he lived in an Orphanage in the middle of London, so that sort of ruled that idea out. Next I would go for Dumbledore? And perhaps Aberforth? Call that weird, but that was what popped into my mind next. ^_^ Back when Dumbley was all greedy. Although... if not, I would have to think someone evil, and nothing pops to mind right now. :') For that, I'm really quite sorry - but I think with a little more clues I probably would've been able to get it! 'Spose I don't know the books well enough. *cries*.

So this was entered for five challenges, which is pretty ambitious in it's own right, but I have to say you've done a fantastic job on each! The unamed character could perhaps be a little more specific, but considering it was 500 words that's pretty much all you can manage, right? :') But I LOOOVE it, it's so... daaark.

Geez Sevvy, stop showing us your inner psycho.
(Nowait, show us more inner psycho, the writing is amazee!)
((But people will start to realise you're crazy...))

Now, there's only one thing I'd put on my annoying grammar hat for, and that would be the sentence "why else would it have bended to his will?" I just... eurgh, call me horrible, but I would much rather put a "bent" in there. It just sounds better - in *my* mind, mind you, it's probably not as all grammar'd up as youu. xD

Really it's just.. it's so angsty and dark, and I adore the style you wrote it in - your vocabulary is impressive, I liked the use of longer words in a style where it's very easy to write simply. So bravo on that!

Erm. I love it, it's awesome, I wish I could write like you... *has run out of things to say.*

WRITE MORE! I wanna see more stuff like this! JAMESIE WANTS MORE!

In any case.

10/10 :D

the most amazing person you've ever met,
James xx

Author's Response: JAMEEES!

I'm sorry it took so long to reply to this review. T^T I'm quite at a loss of what to say... I don't know where to start. Okay, how 'bout let's start with, "YOU ARE SO ADORABLEEE, Thank you for showering me with flattery and happy, happy feelings! :3"

Heh, you know me, I'm the queen of ambitiousness and multichallenges. xD Dark was what I was going for and I'm so glad that the moods and feels I wanted to evoke have come across!

Geez Jamesies, stop making me smile so much.
(Nowait, please go on, I like to smile.)
((But then you might think I'm trying to feed my ego,))
(((Which may or may not be true xD)))

I'll take that into consideration and don't worry, I don't mind you being nitpicky and grammar nazi. I do that all the time. :P I do love to get different opinions, after all.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Angst is my area. And say thanks to my friend, Thesaurus for zi fab vocab. 8D Bravo to him!

Erm. ily, you're awesome, now we both ran out of things to say. Thank you again and again for reviewing, I'll see you around!

the most awesome person you've ever met,
Sevvy xx

P.S. Pfft, we haven't even met each other yet. xD

 Report Review

Review #4, by Prongs05JPDon't Trust the Golden Author...: STOP WRITING!!!

11th August 2011:
Hahaha, that was pretty good! I did laugh quite a bit, even if I had like no idea what was going on most of the time! XD Thoroughly enjoyable, I have to say I loved that the whole thing was a prank by George the best, a very clever idea. Poor Fred, having to memorise a poem like that - any son of George's worst nightmare, haha!

But my only criticism is that whilst the writer talking is a really funny concept, it wasn't executed as well as it could have been, I think, but with a little more thought into those conversations they have the potential to be hilarious! XD

But please, please ignore that criticism as being any sign that I didn't like this story - because I loved it! It was hilarious, fast paced, and really brilliant. A great idea, and I reall enjoyed it. Thanks for writing it! :')

9/10 Fab!
--Nick xx

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thank you. I'll remember that the next time I try to break the fourth wall in my writing.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Prongs05JPMy final thoughts: My Final Thoughts

11th August 2011:
:O No, Hermione died! Wow, this was such a nice little fic! Well, not nice, they all died, but you know what I mean... I suppose this would've been how things worked out if Voldemort won, eh? We're kinda lucky he didn't. I thought this was really good, especially the bit where Voldemort died - or did he? I know this is weird, but I read some double meaning in there where Hermione imagined herself killing him, but at the end of the day all hope was actually lost and he just killed her.. but she kind of *imagined* he didn't, if you know what I mean?

Or maybe that double meaning wasn't there. And I'm an idiot. :D

Either way, I did really love this! My only criticisms would be not having a new paragraph for speech, and perhaps the rushed nature - I think if you took a little more time writing it, added more detail it could be a really fantastic story! :)

7/10 Fab!
--Nick xx

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

 Report Review

Review #6, by Prongs05JPEyes Wide Open: Eyes Wide Open

11th August 2011:
Wow. O.O And that is not a bad thing, haha! I can't say I've ever read a Harry/Draco before, this is literally my first one, and it was amazing! I can see it was written for an "every word counts" challenge, and I absolutely loved the style you wrote it in, with the three words in the brackets. It made this story short and sweet, but still with complex writing that flowed very easily. It was fab! Where criticism is concerned, I cannot honestly think of anything this story could improve on :') It was very good! And despite the fact I may not be a Harry/Draco shipper, thanks very much for writing and sharing. :)

8/10 Loved it!
--Nick xx

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

 Report Review

Review #7, by Prongs05JPThe Black Rose: 1

11th August 2011:
Hey, this is pretty exciting! What a great read! :) I've always seem all those stories about Harry's younger sister, or younger brother, but this is the first time I've seen something about an *older* sister - and its pretty good! Poor girl, though. And more of a shame I don't know her name XD But my favourite bit has to have been the beginning - you captured childish jealousy and love very well there.

My only criticism would be that I'm not.. entirely sure what happened when Voldemort came. She followed her mum, but Lily threw her against a wall? XD That's a *biiit* mean, a little OOC for Lily? Or maybe I just got it wrong, and that wasn't what happened at all... haha, oops. :')

Either way, I still thoroughly enjoyed this! If it carries on, I'd love to read the rest and see how she survives with Voldemort. Thanks for writing it!

8/10 Fab! :)
--Nick xx

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. About the part where Lily threw her against the wall, well, she didn't mean to hurt the girl. (Come to think of it, I haven't mentioned her name, have I? It's Faith, btw) Ever since Harry was born, Lily has been under pressure because of the prophecy and now, when the time came, she was unable to accept it. She does love Faith, only not so much having concentrated on Harry so much to make up for lost time if she ever did lose him... does that make sense?

 Report Review

Review #8, by Prongs05JPOut of Reach: Why him?

11th August 2011:
Aww, this was nice! Quite sweet, and I really enjoyed it! Haha, you probably won't even get this review, but I've been checking out a whole load of old fics on this site, and this was a really nice one-shot! I particularly enjoyed the fact that Lily was quiet and shy, rather than being loud and short-tempered. It was refreshing!

Where constructive criticism is concerned, the only thing I really picked up on was speech - whilst the dialogue was lovely, a lot of the time after they spoke you'd do something like this: "...presence in here." Ending with a full stop, I mean. I find writing always flows easier if you put a comma, and I think some grammar-watsit rules... but I dunno. XD

All in all though, a fantastic read, thank you for sharing and letting us read it!

--Nick xx

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

 Report Review

Review #9, by Prongs05JPNever Turning Back : Never Turning Back

11th August 2011:
Wow, this was pretty good, I really enjoyed it! Have to say, I don't normally read stuff about Draco or any of the Slytherins, and I have literally never read anything except the Potter books themselves that involved Pansy. But despite that, this was really very good! I could definitely feel the hopelessness of "never going back" and the whole thing about how she wasn't supposed to be the one Draco married, and the like. It would've been great to see *why* Draco proposed to her and not to Astoria, but it was still fantastic nonetheless.

It was really well written, flowed very nicely and it was easy to relate to how Pansy was feeling and understand where she was coming from. I can literally find nothing to criticize except more detail - it'd be great to know a few of the fine details, like I say about the Astoria thing, but really it was very well done.
Thanks so much for writing it!

9/10 Brilliant!
--Nick xx

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

 Report Review

Review #10, by Prongs05JPSins of the Innocent: Express thoughts on life

11th August 2011:
Oooh wow, this looks pretty interesting! :O (Totally knew it was definitely you via the author's note. *HUG*) I really liked this Cheery, it was pretty darn good! Imma guessing it's going to be about those four girls, hmm? (Um, there were four right? It was May, Alyssa, Miranda and Eileen?) And it's definitely a fab start! My favourite bit had to have been the describing of the house where May found all the books and stuff - and it's really cool to have a character who, for once, was intrigued by the Dark Arts and to immerse themselves in it rather than people being completely repulsed. Makes some good reading!

The writing era muy bien, and I loved the introductions of the different characterss! Can't wait to see where they go :P

... *puts on annoying-snob-hat.*

Only a few crits, because I am an arrogant jumped up kid who has a thing for being annnoying :@ -- see? I even enrage myself. First thiiing, umum the whole thing with Tom (I'm assuming Tom?) being a Prefect, I got slightly confused - is he a Prefect or Head Boy? Because you say both, but I'm leaning towards Prefect because they're in fifth year, right? :P Or maybe I'm completely wrong. Ahahah. Only other thing being I thiiink you said "wined" at one point, I think its spelt "whined" xD

*takes off annoying hat*

Wow, I feel loads better!

But all in all, this is a fantastic start to a story, and I may well be reading the rest later today, as I am intrigued ;) Well done!

Love James xx (Nick thing will be explained in my response to your lovely review which I have yet to write (L) Thank you for that, btw!)

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

Author's Response: haha JAMESIE! :D *huggles*
Thank you for the review!!!

yepp it's about them, main focus is on May, Alyssa and Eileen (Miranda is just there to make Eileen be a bit less sullen ;P)

Oh yes! I had to have someone that for once didnt go all horrified by the dark arts, besides how do we know who's good or not? My characters are constantly surprising me with new sides and flaws.

Oh yes i know that about Tom, I'm gonna fix it... just have to settle on which year he is in because I think it might say they're in sixth at one place as well!
SPELLING MISTAKE! Im sorry :P will change!

Thank you so much for the wonderful review!

Loff ya puff boy!


 Report Review

Review #11, by Prongs05JPForgettable Me: Forgettable Me

9th August 2011:
Wow. Just wow. This was awesome Tanya! Literally enjoyed this the whole way through - short, simple, but really well done! A fantastic concept, too. I suppose when I write Sirius I never really think about the next notch on the bedpost, or even the affect being a notch could have on them. I mean, obviously, Marian was a rather nice notch- *pauses. crosses out.* NAME, but there might've been others who weren't so thankful.

The whole writing style was lurvely here! I could feel the kind of.. nostalgic peace that she was speaking in, and I could literally imagine someone saying it, just like that. Baha, guess all I can say is I really loved it.
I usually put in some constructive criticism here, but, ah... can't really think of anything to criticize...

10/10 Fantastiiic!

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

Author's Response: JAMSIE! :-D Ah! I'm SO sorry for how long it's taken me to respond to this review!!! I have no good excuse at all... Forgive me??? *gives cookies and innocent eyes* :-p

Gosh, this is such a lovely review! I'm so flattered! THANK YOU!!! I'm really glad that the short length and the simplicity of the piece still allowed for it to be enjoyable throughout!! And yes, I always feel bad for my Marian... It's so much more difficult to see a kind person suffer, and her ending, while not devastating, was never exactly a happy one.

Awww, no criticisms? You're so good to me! ^.^ I'm so flattered to hear that you enjoyed my writing style here! That's such a compliment, I beyond appreciate you saying that!

You're Fantastiiic, Jamsie!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this beautiful review. You're the best! :-)

 Report Review

Review #12, by Prongs05JPAnomalous: Magic's Skip

9th August 2011:
Aww, this was really sweet! I absolutely loved this! Such an original concept, it was fantastic to see something like this written, I don't think I've seen anything like this before. Beautifully written, I loved it. I could really feel Lily's desperation to get a letter, and the absolute devastation she must've felt at not being magic like the rest of her family. Harry's characterization was fantastic, thoroughly enjoyed it, with the whole thing about him doing an all manner of things to help the wizarding world, but not even being able to help his own daughter. So sad!

Albus was brilliant, I loved that too. The vague attempt at trying to comfort his sister is so... in character for an older brother. Fantastic!

I can literally find nothing to criticize about this story, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for writing it! :D

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

 Report Review

Review #13, by Prongs05JPIf There's a Rocket, Tie Me to It: If There's a Rocket, Tie Me to It

7th August 2011:
Wow, this was really good! Thoroughly enjoyed it! Now I'm not normally a Sirius/Lily shipper, in fact as a general rule I don't tend to read any Lily/OtherMarauders, but this drew me in and I'm really quite intrigued by it! What a fantastic idea, having them both confess to Remus. And of course there would be the "we could never be together" part of it all, and I found myself almost rooting for them here - which, is an achievement, believe me. And the fact that I love Snow Patrol has only made it all the better. :'D

This is usually the bit where I put in a little CC, tell people what they could improve on to make it an even more fantastic story, and the only thing I could think of was the last sentence, seemed a little unfinished. ALL I could think of... apart from more length! It was fantastic, I would have loved to read more! :D

This was really, really good, and I really enjoyed it! Thanks so much for writing it!

10/10 Brilliant! :)
--Nick x

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
AND I Am Number One Challenge
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

Author's Response: I'm so glad you read it, then! I totally get where you're coming from. James/Lily, to me, is just the most perfect pairing ever, but I just. I dunno. I love writing about Sirius so much, and that combination is just deadly in the best way, :D
Awh, thank you! Yea, Remus does seem to always be the middle man, poor guy.
I toyed with that sentence a few times because I was so indecisive about whether or not it was a good final sentence or not.
You should check out Shine! It's Lily's version of this letter, and it's much lengthier and has much more detail.
Thank you very, very much!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Prongs05JPMaraudic Revelations: September 1, 1973

7th August 2011:
Ahaha! That was pretty good! I really enjoyed the characterization of Sirius here, its very unique! Of course most people write about how much he wanted to be in Gryffindor just to annoy his parents, but I never really considered if Sirius could possibly have wanted to be in Slytherin to *avoid* disappointing his parents. It's a very decent new perspective! His narrative was fairly amusing, "better put this diary away before I look like a complete wanker" now that DEFINITELY seems in character for Sirius. I don't suppose he'd normally be the kind of guy who could keep a diary, eh?

Only a few improvments I could make on the story, actually - the primary one of these being spellng and grammar. *Puts on silly-pedantic-snobbish hat* In some places you haven't capitilized at the beginnings of sentences, and there were a few spelling mistakes here and there - but all of these sorts of things could easily be fixed by getting a beta. Just someone to check your chapters through for you and then let you post them - they're ever so helpful! :')

But all in all, I did really quite enjoy this! Can't wait to see whose diary entry you decide to put up next, perhaps this shy boy on the bed next to him? ;) Either way, brilliant job and a very unique idea!

6/10 Well done!
--Nick x

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
AND I Am Number One Challenge
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

Author's Response: hey! so glad you enjoyed it, hope the rest lives up to your very nice review :) anyhow, will fix those grammatical things..am pretty sure there will be more of them too, I always tend to miss things and never capitalize..so. hope we can overlook the fact that none of them would keep a diary!

 Report Review

Review #15, by Prongs05JPGrey Street--A Song Fic: 1.

7th August 2011:
Wow, this is really good! I really enjoyed it! I thought it was quite clever how you incorporated Ron in this... did he die? Or did he just leave? I guess we'll never know. Would've been fantastic to see a snippet of the argument, don't you think? This song fits so well with the fic you were writing, it was really clear and matched the story very well. So good job!

My only criticism is perhaps *how* close to the song the story was. It's always fab to have a story that follows the songs, but its also nice to deviate a little, instead of literally incorporating the lyrics into the piece. Like "she wanted to kick out the windows and set fire to the whole building" is almost exactly the same as "she feels like kicking out all the windows and setting fire to this life" - it would've been really cool if you *could* have mentioned Hermione wanting to set fire to the building, but maybe in a different sentence or phrase?

Either way, I absolutely love this - a creative idea, and Hermione was really well characterized - I can just see her breaking down and being confused over her loss of Ron. :( (again, I really wonder what happened!)

Fantastic job! 7/10
--Nick x

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
AND I Am Number One Challenge
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

 Report Review

Review #16, by Prongs05JPRebellion: Invetation

7th August 2011:
Oh, wow, this sounds exciting! This is a great start to a story! Carter definitely sounds like an intriguing character, I wonder what her past is with Voldemort? My favourite part of this has to have been the beginning, the description was lovely, and really gave me a picture for the scene - it would've been great if that same description could've been incorporated in the rest of the story, like describing Dumbledore perhaps, his office? It's always great just to step back and tell the reader what they're seeing, and that's the only thing I think this story could improve on. ^_^

What does the Weasley house look like? I mean, obviously everyone has seen it before (any decent Harry potter fan BETTER have seen it!) and what about Dumbledore's office? Are there any significant features about the Death Eaters? Questions like this, if answered, just make it an all round better story, with much more pace and flow. :)

But I absolutely loved this idea! Sounds like it could be pretty exciting! I'm guessing Carter will go to school with Harry and Ron, possibly? Sounds like that could be fun. I really hope you carry this on, I'll look out for it if you do!

8/10 Brilliant!
--Nick x

End of an Era Review Extravaganza: House Cup 2011
AND I Am Number One Challenge
Forum Name: Prongs05JP
House: Hufflepuff

 Report Review

Review #17, by Prongs05JPLove Me: Chapter 1 --- Dedication

8th January 2011:
Well wasn't this just one of the most awesome things I've read in a while? :O HEY SEVVY! So, I said I'd get this to you by the New Year, yet here I am on the 8th... tch, dear, dear. Just what I'm like m'afraid. *Cowers in case wrath comes* But lets just hooold up the wrath, and I'll do the review first (and then you can kill me). XD

THIS WAS TOTALLY AWESOME. You could really feel Narciss's dedication and the desperation for Lucius to come home, and as this is multi-chaptered I anxiously await the next one! :D But to start off with something; characterization.

I loved Draco. Had to be said xD Such sweet innocence... (what happened, dude?!) and you're really great at showing that even Draco had a childhood. A time when he'd want to act immature, ask senseless questions and not quite bully everything he sees - although, perhaps holding the dragonfly by its wings could be foreshadowing in a sense? Or perhaps I'm looking too much into it, haha. xD Only thing is, at first he says "mother" twice, and other times he says "mum" - I wonder which one would be better? Because mother demonstrates the upbringing I think he would've had, but Mum is much more childish. But you can still be a sweet child with "Mother" so, idk. And to be honest, I don't even know why I care. o.O I guess I'm just annoying like that... (you know you love me ;D).
Narcissa was very good as well, and I think the only times we really see her in the book is when she's looking after Draco, so its definitely something easy to assume that she'd be very caring. She obviously really cares about him, (and about his father) and she acted like a really nice mother - bang on, I liked it! And her attitude towards the house elves too - kinder, nicer, it just brings out more character. Like with the cooking the food... maybe its just something to keep her busy? And her devotion, as mentioned. Could bring a tear to my eye... :')
Buuut... *sticks on annoying hat* ... I didn't much like Lucius. (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!) He just seemed a little... brusque in my opinion. Like... the way I always felt it, he'd be quite polite to his wife, and maybe occasionally lose his temper at her, but not ignore her completely. Or perhaps my interpretation is completely wrong, and I fail? But its all down to creative license I think - if this Lucius fits in with the story better, then this Lucius RULES! :D

Moving on, here's some storyline love! (:< I can't say I've read many Lucius/Narcissa fics (this must be somewhere around my third, haha) but I'd like to say its pretty individual. I always assumed that it was probably an arranged marriage that they both hated, and Draco was just a result of that marriage to keep the Malfoy (and Black) family lines going. So its definitely interesting to read about something where it may have been a marriage of convenience for Lucius, but Narcissa may have actually loved him :O Shockhorror! I wonder how she'll end up dealing with that for the rest of her life? D: (Erm, chapter 2 pleaseandthankyou? :]) And I hope she stops devoting herself to Lucius (she kinda does, DH *duh*, James) because Draco deserves the attention more!


And this is usually the part where I stick on my "I'm-annoying-look-at-me-know-it-all-i-smell" hat, but actually I can't find anything to crit... WHICH IS RARE. Because I'm a snobby son of a benandjerry's ice cream, I always get annoyed with wrong grammar... but I couldn't find anything. *Laugh*. BE HAPPY. XD
(Because the "one more minutes?" part was SO awesome.)

This is a really fab start to a fic, and I can't wait to see the next chapter! Bring Jamesie the next chapter soon, pweeease! :)

By the way, *I* love you! :) (Even if I review late... *dies*)
See ya soon!

Love James xx

10/10 AND I give into wrath giving now... T_T

Author's Response: Jamesie!

*cowers in shame* It's been 9 months, my wrath died out but I dunno about yours though... >..< Yeah, I appreciated your long review but it was really long and I didn't know what to say so yeah, I ended up putting it off for a long time. =_=" sowwy.

Anyway, I'm glad you think that way. Actually, I did do that purposely. I was considering on having him pluck out the dragonfly's wings but then later decided against it. x3 :P

I totally know what you mean. And now I'm pretty confused about it myself. x3 Mother/Mum?

I ain't gonna kill you Jamesie. I know what you mean about Lucius because when I reread the story, I found that I mis-portrayed Lucius and that I'll have to edit it because I know I can do better without ruining the story but I'm too lazy *hence why no update yet*

Oh really? Now that you put that in my head, it won't get out. x3 I never thought about them being forced into marriage and them hating it but if I ever did, then I must've assumed that they would fall for each other later anyway. >.<

I'm gonna take that as a compliment and besides, it's rather rare seeing a "snobby son of a benandjerry's ice cream" like egoistic you boosting someone else's ego. :P Besides, I'm pretty nitpicky with my grammar and spelling myself and if I ever make a mistake, I'd love for it to be pointed out. And seeing as you haven't found any, YAY ME! X3

I'll do that.as soon as I'm not lazy. =_=" Thank you for taking the time to read and review dearest.

I loff you too!

 Report Review

Review #18, by Prongs05JPJAMESIE!: Huddlepuff Stands For Awesomeness

8th January 2011:
I was not expecting that!! BUT I LOVE IT! (L) You guys are hilarious! That was such an amazing read!! And the best present I could ever get from you guys like ever, ever, ever, ever, ever! THIS BEATS MY NEW iPOD XD And I can't wait to read more! (If you write more, of course).
This is... I cannot describe how immensely awesome this is. THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!
Now I'm contemplating whether to leave a proper review, or just shower you with more compliments and thank you's. Hmm...
(Okay maybe I'm done).
(One second...)
And I still haven't done your Christmas/New Year/Just for funzies present.
(But I will!)
So this had me smiling the whole way through, and its such an awesomesauce idea to have you in the story - you two, like, the funniest and most epic Hufflepuffs EVER. I absolutely can't wait for more, and especially to see if "I" turn up! XD I loved it, loved it, (have I mentioned that yet?).
You are like... the most awesome people ever. ILY.
Can't wait to see more Huddlepuff action, and to see what mischief you two get up to, so please write more!! You can't leave me hanging! xD
By the way, you two as characters was so funny :'D I nearly died of laughter... "If she turns into an ant, I'll press charges!" and many other hilarious lines - it was brilliant that Dumbledore could barely control you XD GAH! Ahh I so want to read more, this is my favourite fic EVER. Thank you guys so much, and now I'm just rambling so you can know that I REALLY enjoyed this!
Love Jamesie xx
(1 billion/10)

 Report Review

Review #19, by Prongs05JPLily, Lily, Quite Contrary: A Dress and Slimy Slytherins

27th September 2010:
Yay! Another awesome chapter :D (hehe... told you I'd get round to doing this :P) So. This chapter - I like it :D It's really sweet the way you showed the relationship between James/Al/Lily, especially the piggy back rides! *grumble* I wan' a piggy back...
ANYWAY. It was also a really cool idea to have Scorpius with a younger brother 8) Do I sense a little... ah, tension, between him and our young protagonist? ;D Either way; can't wait to see him show his true colours! I feel Lily's pain about the early mornings... can't stand them... and then finding Slytherins in your kitchen?! Bad morning. Nice idea with the whole 'I will never befriend a Malfoy'. I'm guessing that's because of a few not-so-nice stories told by Uncle Ronald, hm? Well, let's hope she changes her mind, Sam seems like a nice guy :P Although with raising Fred and George, I wouldn't have thought Mrs Weasley to be oblivious to the goings on of teenage boys searching for a few birds... but alas, this is your creative license :) Ahh, the perfect dress. Very nice - perhaps we'll see her in it later on in the story, or more specifically; Sam may see her in it... he certainly seemed to like what he saw. ;D

Ahem. *shuffles forward bashfully* As the usual snobby self that I am, I have a few Jamesie's improvies. T_T' So first off, "you're little girl cuteness" should be "your little girl cuteness", I think, unless I've completely misread the sentance... and "Basically, the bloke is was pretty darn attractive" - either is or was, right? ^^ "that marked Fred and James and the rest of the group (accept the slick blonde heads that" perhaps you mean 'except' instead of accept? Easy mistake to make, they seem so similar! *Glares at words >>* Apart from those really simple errors, I saw a few tense ones (UGH, so guilty of this myself. I am such a hypocrit...) and YAY.
Also. Sometimes this chapter seems a little rushed - take your time! Describe some things; what does the town look like? Are there a lot of old fashioned buildings or is it fairly modern? What kind of clothes in the shop make Sam squirm? (XD) And maybe the boys could have a few stories to report... (I can help you there, if you need any XD)

All in all, I really loved this chapter, and I do wonder if that necklace was bought... ;) Hope to see some more of the awesome stuff next chapter - and sorry for being overly fussy/critical/snobby xD
Lots of loff!
J xx

Author's Response: Wow, you really did come back! Woot! I'll go fix the errors *coughsnobcough* ;) You're definitely helping me with the Sam stuff if you want me to do it XD It makes me so happy to see a review, especially from my PSJ! I've actually seen the excpet mistake in one of your things heehee (I can't remember which one), but I will fix it, just for you ;D

Lots of loff right back at ya!

 Report Review

Review #20, by Prongs05JPFirst Impressions: Out of Control Trolleys

25th September 2010:
Wow, this is really nice :D I like it! Molly's butt slap made me laugh a lot XD And me and my brothers tend to play the 'annoy the parent' game with my mum too - classic. There were a few grammatical errors, so it probably needs a little bit of proof reading. And one thing - sometimes you say 'Hallie' and sometimes it's 'Hattie' - are they two different people or just a mispelling :S
*Laughs* so if you can put up with my fussy comments, I would now like to tell you that this is fab, a really great read :)
9/10 -Prongs05JP

Author's Response: Aw*blushes* Thank you so much! Lol, I'm glad you liked the butt slap! XD Yeah, my brother and I play it with my dad. He's not hard to annoy. I guess my brother and I can get pretty annoying :) OH my gosh!! Thank you so much for telling me!! I didn't notice!! EEP!! I'm so embarrassed. Aw fudge, I'll go and fix that. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!!

 Report Review

Review #21, by Prongs05JPLily, Lily, Quite Contrary: Family, Gossip and a Party

21st September 2010:
Heya Kate! I'm here with the review that I feel I owe you (you made me laugh when you said you'd be honoured for me to read it, so I thought I'd leave you a review too!) XD
So. This chapter, overall: I like it :) Lily seems like a really great character, I can't wait to see her progress through the story! So the titles all about her being contrary to people's belief of her; so why don'cha show off a little bit what people think of her in the next few chapters? Okay, so I know that you've already written a whole load more, I'm just slow, Kay?? XDD Don't judge me...
Only a few things I picked up on in here that didn't sit quite right with me. "I arrived swirling in green flame in my grandparents' kitchen and of course fall straight on my face." Stick with one tense; either say "I arrive.. etc and fall straight on my face" or "I arrived... etc and FELL straight on my face" - it's just more *puts on nerdy glasses* grammatically correct. *takes glasses off*. It makes your sentance flow better!!
Also. Do you want nan to be capitalized or non-capitalised? 'Cause it changed throughout and I wondered.. :) And my only other crit is that the canon characters are a little bit, well, out of character... but I'll put that down to creative license ;) Ron was perhaps a little too defensive; if you want him and Gin to have a fight, take your time! You're the author, the readers wanna read what you write, no matter how long it is :D
Anyways, my little rants over (I'm so sorry for complaining! -_-) it's now time for the pros!
Lily's inner dialogue was pretty cool, a really good way of introducing the characters with a little bit of humour. I can't wait to see Lils develop, and what happens later on in the story - I really liked this, so I'll deffo read on and review your other chapters!
ALSO. I'm a guy, and I enjoyed this! It's funny, imaginitive and I want to read on :D So seriously wonder no more... James (or Nick, as I'm known on here usually) is here!!
Fab chapter, I'd like to see where this goes ;)
--J xx

Author's Response: You just made my day! Thanks so much for the review and for being so thorugh and awesome :) I thought I fixed all the tenses! Argh, I'll have to go back for that one. I know my canon characters tend to be a little OOC, it just happens when I write, so thanks for undertsanding that. I'm really gald you liked it, it makes me so very happy to read a review, especially from someone as awesome as yourself! :D

 Report Review

Review #22, by Prongs05JPFailure By Design: Home

28th August 2010:
I love this story. Awesomeness! I was originally attracted to it because it bares a startling resemblance to one that I used to read on here that got "hidden" called Boyfriend. But, after reading the first couple of chapters I realised that although they start off the same way, they are completely different. And mightn't I say - this is pretty awesome? Your writing style is awesome, with Lily's narrative being both creative and engaging, neither too formal/informal. I also loved your characterisation of James 8) I can just imagine him definitely wanting to be friends, but I can't help wishing that he'd flirt openly with her a bit more; but that's only so they'd get together ;)
One thing; just at the end of this chapter I notice you have "Gordon Smith from Ravenclaw" as Head Boy. Now I *know* it's cliche for James and Lily to be HB and HG and I wonder if I'm being presumptious in wondering whether or not you knew it's actually canon? Someone told me, and it's actually in the first book... I didn't know either, so I just wondered if you did...? If you knew, and just decided to overlook it THAT'S FINE. IGNORE MY FOOLISH-BOFFY-NESS DX Anyway.
Loving the story, update soon, and I'll probably go back and review the other chapters in more detail. As for this one; the act is up :( But the show must go on!
Nick xx

Author's Response: Yeah, I knew haha. I just decided WHAT THE HECK I'm going to be noncanon for once in my life and I SWEAR there's a purpose! I probably shoulve explained that in my author's not, eh? Oopsy.

The idea of this story has actually been in my head since a couple years ago.. I just never took the time to write it and then Boyfriend came out (Yeah I read it and loved it too) and I wasn't completely sure if I should post this cause I didn't wanna seem like I was taking someones idea but then I realized that I wasn't taking anyones idea cause I thought of it even before that story.. so yeah. I just kind of rambled but whatever :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #23, by Prongs05JPOnce Defied: For The Best

28th May 2010:
Penny! I'm alive! :D
And apologising humbly for the lack of reviews T_T (Even now, I'm reviewing 5 days later than I said I would XD) But hey, I'm here to make a decent review and hopefully the other chapters to make up for it ;)

So this chapter... it's a real heart wrencher. A lot of drama - well not major drama, but plenty of little drama to really make you feel a bit for the characters :( I felt really sad whilst reading this, just to let you know *sniff*

Kay, first off... (I think I say that every time) James is so whipped! That conversation certainly made me snicker a little. Especially with the sentance when they did loads of impressions *laughs* and then he went and proved their point! Ah, James. I hope I don't ever get like that :P

Ahaha, I thought Lily would be past the stage of underestimating James by now xD But haha, she sure seemed shocked by the way into Hogsmeade. And James almost being right about Dearborn. I wish all teachers wouldn't tell you off like that and instead have a conversation xD Hmm... I wonder why James is always eager to impress him? Maybe because he knows his parents - or he just wants someone to know that he's good at DADA. Who knows? (Well, I'm sure you do, :), so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).

Poor Lily :( I feel the same about leaving and things like that - I can't imagine leaving where I am now and being thrust out to do something different. It would be so weird :'(

I really like the original ideas you thought of about graduation. Did it take long to come up with all the little details? Like the boats (skipping on a bit), I thought they were a beautiful touch. With them staying the same size an' all to signify all the changes they've been through. Made me want to cry! And leaving the same way they came in - that was also a nice added extra :)

Back to where I was... the feast. Very individual. I've read about balls, parties, fireworks and all sorts but its nice to have a little send off - but one that means a lot in the heart. Fab ;) And Sirius and Remus' little jibes make me laugh.

Ugh... Mary's such a... a... she gets a whole paragraph to herself because of what she's become! Her whole natures changed from the little "sweet" girl that she used to be, now all obsessed with being a stupid hit wizard. It's rubbish! And not something you should change for. Although I can kinda relate - my friends change a lot - some for reasons I think are stupid but they are obviously quite important to said girl. Yeah. Still, she could be a bit nicer to Lily :/

The Marauders HAD to be the ones to fall out, didnt they ;P This whole ending is so sweet - next thing, GO ANNA!! You rule, girl, and Lily should never haver doubted you :) This whole ending is sweet, and I really feel like it's all gonna turn out for the best.

Really a fab chap, and looking at the time (down here in ol' britannia in case you're not here already XD) it's unlikely I'll get another one in tonight. But one will get in!! :D

Thanks for your patience and another Fab Chap! (I've missed reading this great story :'D)
1000/10 :)

Author's Response: Hi Nick! Sorry I took a few days to reply to this. :/ I saw your review very soon after you'd posted it, but I've just been so consumed with trying to get the first chapter of the sequel ready that I put off responding...very terrible of me, since I would never want you to get the impression that I didn't appreciate the review IMMENSELY! :D

I honestly didn't expect anyone to be really moved by what I'd written in this chapter--I certainly wasn't intending to get a really emotional response. But I'm so pleased that others, and now you, have said that it really affected them! It's nice to unexpectedly get something right. :P

Bahaha, well, I suppose James is mildly whipped. I guess you can't blame him too much, considering that he's like Lily for so long. I imagine he'd be pretty eager not to mess it up! :P And it's early days in their relationship, so perhaps he'll get more of a spine as things go along... ;)

I think Lily is past underestimating James, but not quite to the point where she can live with everything he does. I think he still kind of boggles her with his disregard for authority or rules. But I do think she has a bit of a rebellious streak to her--even though she might not be as comfortable expressing it as James is, I expect she gets at least a bit of a thrill out of that kind of thing. :P

I wish I'd done a better job of including Dearborn in this story, now that I'm looking back on it. I think I didn't really cement his role as well as I could have, which is probably what leads to the confusion over why James is so interested in impressing him. What I intended to get across (and I don't think I did) was just that Dearborn is the type of person who engenders respect--he's got that ineffable coolness to him (in an old guy way, haha) that makes people want him to like them. Part of James' curiosity is the link with his parents, certainly, and his suspicions about the Order (though of course he doesn't know that's what it is yet), and part of it is also James' anti-Dark Arts passion, which Dearborn shares. So, I guess you pulled several of those things out--maybe I didn't do TOO badly! :P

I actually got the boats idea from JKR herself! :) In an interview, she was asked about writing a Hogwarts graduation, and really the only concrete thing she mentioned was having the boats take the seventh-years back, for the symbolism. I didn't want to go over the top with the graduation, as I know in Britain it's not a huge deal. I thought a private feast, where the teachers weren't as separate from the new graduates, was just enough without being too "American" or whatever. :P I'm really glad you liked it!

Ahh, yes, Mary. I really, really enjoyed bringing her to this point, because I imagined it for a long time before getting to finally write it. :) I'm very glad that you feel that she's changed a lot--no, it's not for the better (and for the record, someone like her would drive me INSANE in real life), but I do like knowing that I've developed the characters in some way. And it is pretty amusing to me to see people now cheering on Anna, since she didn't start out as a very appealing character. :P

I liked that you managed to work the chapter title into your review there. ;) And oh, yay, it was a Fab Chap!!! It's been too long since I've heard those words. :)

But really, take your time with the reviews, as I always say. I feel like a broken record. :P The story's going to be here for a very long time, and there's certainly no rush on reviewing.

Thank you so so so much!

 Report Review

Review #24, by Prongs05JPMarauders: Year One: Of Trains and Meetings

6th April 2010:
Well... it was good, I liked it. It had this kind of... sweet little style to it, and it worked really well with the fact that this was their first year. I like the way the guys were introduced, and Poot certainly had an interesting time xD I have a feeling this is gonna be good, keep it up! :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you made this review! I did indeed intend for the simplicity or as you said "sweet little style", because things aren't complicated now. I'm mean...they're eleven. No major hormones yet. Haha So thank you for your review and your rate! :)

 Report Review

Review #25, by Prongs05JPOnce Defied: A Nastily Exhausting Week

5th April 2010:
Okay so as I said on the forums, I'm going to review one >:D But... just at the moment I finished reading the chapter the conclusion of an intrigueing (sp?) episode of a Touch of Frost started and I got side tracked. But don't hate me, for Prongs05JP is here now! :D And ready to rev :P

So first off, Anna and Lily didn't know what the transmorfa-hoo-ha thing was - and I bet James wouldn't know either, poor guys. I'm glad I don't have to take Transfiguration :P I love Lily's attitude with the Mary thing, how she couldn't let it take over her life as she needed to focus on exams. Well thought about, that. However, I don't know what it is but I never really took to Anna :/ I think it's her short tempered personality (a great character, by all means) but to me she's always seemed like the one I disliked. But that's just how I get on/don't get on with people/characters xP

Moving on, I can completely relate to Lily and her no-studying-before-the-end-is-nigh thing. I feel like everything will just get muddled and I'll end up confusing myself :S And sods law! With the switching spell being the one she wasn't sure of and it being the first one xP I feel for you Lils, really.

One point to make here, I got a lil confused :/ Or I think it may have been a typo. When the guys returned for their written part of the Transfiguration exam they went in and it said ""You may begin," Professor Dearborn said, and there was a fluttering etc" so I thought it was the DADA one, but then it said the DADA was the next day so I got all muddled. I've come to the conclusion that you probably meant Professor McGonagall, but I felt I should point it out ^^

Nextly, I made up a new word :P

So... aww, James just gets the hang of being HB at the end of the year - much to his dismay xD And indeed Lily HAS gained one of the best friends :) Ouch, I really feel for James and his potions exam :P It was really well described - I mean, obviously it wouldn't be silent with people chopping up newts guts or whatever so it was good to get the point across :D

Actually overall the way you've done exams is fab, you've managed to create all the tension that would be there and written it all down - awesome :) Agh, Peter cheated!! Well... there's bound to be one, with all those people working so close together. And it does certainly show off a lot more of Peter's cowardly side. :( And James handled that pretty well ;)

o.m.g this is really quite a long review :O should make up for the time I missed out on not reviewing XP I do apologise for that :) And the final line kinda struck me too - it all falls apart and we know at least one of them fell from that line. Far below that line.

Congrats on another fab chap - it certainly WAS a masterpiece, so there :P

1000/10 :D

Author's Response: Hey! Yay, review! Haha. They've been kind of slow in coming for the most recent chapter (totally my fault for taking so long to update lately), so it's nice to have one to respond to. :)

I'm also glad I don't have to take Transfiguration. It always seemed like the hardest subject, kind of like physics or something. :P And it doesn't bother me at all if you dislike Anna. I always knew I was giving her qualities that people would find unpleasant. I've personally always liked Anna more than Mary, but I think that's because I can sort of see into the future and have a better idea of the people they're going to become. ;)

How funny that you do the same thing as Lily with studying before exams, because I actually took that quality from myself and gave it to her! :) I never study right before a test! Most of the time when I have exams, I just don't even bring my notes or books when I go, even though most other people are cramming until the very last second! It just feels like a bad idea to me. :P

Oh, as for the teachers--sorry, I did kind of set that up in a confusing way, but during written exams, it's never the professor of that subject who presides over it. So I probably could have done it in a less confusing way than having the Defence teacher do the Transfiguration exam, and Transfiguration teacher do the Defence exam, but it was intentional, and I do believe that it's accurate to the books. :) Good eye, though!

Whew, I'm very, very glad that you thought I did the exams okay. :) I think this is one chapter that definitely needs some deft editing at a later point, but it's reassuring to know that you didn't dislike it.

Peter, Peter, Peter...not his smartest move, wouldn't you say? Or I guess, depending on how you look at it, maybe it was kind of smart. That's the thing I find fascinating about Peter. Except in the most extreme circumstances (i.e. his betrayal), I imagine him as someone who would walk this line between right and wrong. He exists in this gray area, in my mind--and that was why I wanted to write this scene. Of course, it's dishonest to cheat on an exam, but then you have the point that James brings up, that they've all done dishonest things at school. So was what Peter did much worse? Were his intentions wholly bad? Or should we, like James, give him the benefit of the doubt? The last line, though, is very foreshadow-y, and it's unfortunate that James in his infinite trust ended up being so wrong.

No worries at all about taking some time to review. It's nice to get them whenever they come. :) Glad you thought it was a "fab chap" again. You're so nice!

Thank you so, so much for reviewing!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>