Oh...the Game xD - me likes ^^
I still like your characters, and I can say a few words about Oliver now. He seems all Gryffindor-ish xD. As in overconfident and all that. Maybe it is a bit off putting but I like him as a character nevertheless ;)
Rona is funny at times. Almost all the time :D I especially liked how she "loosened up every time he unknowingly complimented her skills again".
Good job with the story ;DAuthor's Response: Oliver is actually very Gryffindorish as the chapters go on. I'm glad you think she's funny! She's rather proud of her flaws, and I think poking fun at them gets readers to like her more. :) Thanks for the reviews! Worth the wait! Report Review
Hello, I'm FINALLY here with your requested review :)
I'm so sorry I wasn't able to do this earlier but life suddenly got hectic though I've managed to work everything out ^^
Anyhow - the one-shot was full of cuteness. ;) The descriptive language you've used at the beginning was amazing, I could really get the whole picture in my head. I'd suggest that you maybe, if you wish and think it would be okay, add a bit of a more description on Draco and Ginny. Even though we, as readers, can imagine them due to the books and the movies, I think it would add something extra to the story :)
Oh, and I loved the part about house elves, I've always found that they make me go all warm and fuzzy inside, especially when I remember Dobby...
I've noticed a few spelling errors, though I'm sure if you read the story once again, you'll fix them :D
All in all - I liked it ;)Author's Response: Hi sorry for the late response my computer is broken. This reply is being done on my phone so i am sorry for mistakes.
About the bit about adding more description in about Ginny and Draco. I am getting round to that i was planning doing it when i got back but like i said my computer broke. House elfs are the cutest! :-).
I will read through it and double check spellings thank you for the heads up.
Ginny45 xxx Report Review
Oh Merlin. I don't know. I just can't stand Anthony, for God's sake how can he CRY? And because of basically nothing o.O I think I'll stop reviewing now because I don't have anything smart to say :o I can just go on about how I like Regulus and how he's exactly the way I imagined him to be and I can talk about how irritating Anthony and Elizabeth are.
The plot is good, it keeps the reader interested but since we already know what's going to happen in the end, it's necessary to make it a bit more interesting including love into the whole equation ;)
You did a good job with the story :DAuthor's Response: Aha! Yeah, you're totally right on that one. He shouldn't cry over that. The question is: Was he actually crying?
Thank you. :D
There is a lot more than just love in his equation. His induction to becomming a Death Eater, his return to school, he's got to handle his friends and an attempt at normalcy. There are quite a few I can't say new, but more characters that will come in. Sarah, Barty Crouch Jr., his brother comes into play a bit and there is a surprise later on.
Plus there is the whole "Why he betrayed Voldy" thing that still has to unravel. Less Romance, more Drama. :D
Thank you so much for all your time. :D--Jenna Report Review
lol, first of all - Elizabeth is stupid because she told. But, it seems she managed to get away with it so that makes her less stupid, I suppose xD
Oh, and it seems like Topher feels as if Anthony was "stealing" his best mate. Tough.Author's Response: Not so much "got away with it" but she had to be saved. Yeah, Will doesn't forget that kinda stuff though. :D
Interesting theory there. I wonder if it'll be the same when his "problem" is revealed. :D
Thank you again! --Jenna Report Review
Dear Salazar - I understand now - Anthony == Elizabeth. Concerning Regulus, and that's why I don't like him. Well, I don't like her either but both are too.argh. I dunno, something xD.
And, yeah, pranking Snape is a cruel idea, but they're Slytherins ^^ Though, wasn't Snape friends with Mulciber and Avery and other Death Eaters while he was at Hogwarts?Author's Response: Snape was friends with Rosier. Evan Rosier, which is Elizabeth's brother. When Lily yelled at him in the hallway, she said that he wanted to be LIKE the future Death Eaters and that were at the school. She also mentioned how sick "Mulciber" was.
I never cared for the idea that just because they were Slytherins or future Death Eaters they would be friends. It goes to the same about now days, you don't see the Cruel Popular "Jocks" hanging around the Chess Club just because one day they'll be rich. :D
Anthony and Elizabeth are a lot alike, just in different ways. (If that makes sense.)
Thank you. --Jenna Report Review
Call me sick but I thought the scene with Evan was funny ^^
And I totally agree with Will on the Elizabeth thing - he should have stayed with the not liking her xD. But well...
I think Topher is cool. And Will...I don't know what to think of him :oAuthor's Response: Ahaha! I can't call you sick, I'm the sick person that wrote it. :D Ugh, now I'm gonna be spider creeped out all day. I shuddered for a week after that scene. I think you'll see that Regulus is actually kinda prone to spiders. I wanted to stay away from the Snake cliche.
You'll have plenty of time to decide what you think about Will. His character fades out for a while, but he is a main one in the later chapters. Later as in teh 40+ area.
Thanks again. --Jenna Report Review
hmm, I'm not a humongous fan of slash but it's alright :)
Though, I still don't like Anthony. I wonder what Regulus thinks of gay people...I mean, we really don't know how they were treated in the Wizarding World, but since Dumbledore was gay, it may not have been such a big deal ^^
Argj, Elizabeth is so...ugh, irritating. I mean, you write her well since I can be irritated by her - it means that you've managed to make her more than just a two dimensional character ;)Author's Response: With the slash, there are some physical scenes, but they are greatly outnumbered by other scenes. That's why Romance isn't a genre. More emotional and there are actually more hetero scences throughout, though they just come later. :D
Well, I assume that the Wizarding World reacts the same as the Muggle one, because I read an interview with JK that said that at one time. The main issue here is that it is 1976 and it wasn't so commonly accepted. As for Regulus personally, this is truly the first time that he's been put into the situation to deal with it. I always figured Dumbles was in the closet. That seems the kinda thing that Hermione would know if it was too be known. Maybe just his friends knew.
Thank you. :D I always find females so difficult to write and she is probably the one that I've had the most issue with, so that made my day.
Thanks again for all the time. --Jenna Report Review
Regulus s a bit prone to self-harm :o This whole thing with tasting blood and feeling pain...hmm.
Anthony - I don't like him. Seems a bit nosy. Maybe he actually isn't but at the moment he just seems that way...Author's Response: Yes and no. This won't spiral into any sort of "that situation" kind of story. I hope you know what I mean, I don't think I can say it in a response. He's more of an Emotional pain glutten and the lip thing is about as far as he goes to keep himself in line.
THANK YOU! No, really. I think you're the first one to hit the nail on the head there. Anthony is WAY nosy. :D I kinda cry a little bit when people compare him to the Remus that I write in other places, just because he's a book person.
Thanks again. :D --Jenna Report Review
To answer your question from the Author's Note - yeah, I actually do like Regulus. He does end up being a Death Eater but like a character, to me he is quite likeable. And I can even relate to him so that's a major plus ;)
awww, poor Slughorn - he's so easily manipulated :/ I dunno why you hate him though, I found him quite funny while I read HBP xDAuthor's Response: I find a lot of people feel this way about him early on. It's really more the times that his character is pushed and he is forced to make real choices that he tends to lose the sympathy.
That's why I don't like Sluggy. He is so easily manipulated and he just doesn't see his potential harm in life.
Thanks for another review. I really appreciate all the time you're taking to do this. :D --Jenna Report Review
I actually lol'd when Elizabeth said what she said. xD I know it wasn't supposed to be funny but to me it was ^^ dunno why, actually...
I somehow though that Regulus was actually gay until he said that he was like that with everyone, not just girls or Elizabeth. Though I don't like her, it's nice to know that he's willing to try to overcome his panic attacks because of her :)Author's Response: Really? That's cool, I didn't intend it to be funny, but I like that you laughed. She's just so laugh-at-deserving. I'm pretty sure you won't be joining her side of anything, so just prepare to dislike her even more. :D
He just has issues full stop, but there are ways that he gets around them. You'll see a few in the early chapters as well as some more ways later on, up in the Chapter 30+ area. He's making an effort, albeit, not a huge one.
Thank you again. --Jenna Report Review
...and here's my second review :)
I don't like Elizabeth. I really don't, she seem too pushy or needy or clingy :s and I can't really see her with Regulus. And I can totally understand him - I don't like to be touched either, even when I'm with my boyfriend xD ^^
Will and Topher seem alright for now, as far as characterisation goes ;) After I read your Author's Note, I thought that Will was going to be a Death Eater, judging by his behaviour, but you may as well have a surprise in store :)
I think I'm going to continue reading this because I like the story quite a bit, but my reviews probably won't be long :o, I hope you're okay with that ;)Author's Response: I don't like Elizabeth either. :D
*marks down a vote for Will*
I am very okay with that. Thank you for continuing the story and I hope that you like everything that is coming up. --Jenna Report Review
Hello, I'm here with your requested review :)
I'm so glad that you requested it, there aren't many Regulus-centric fics on HPFF and I think he's a fascinating character to write and read about ^^
Anyhow - I think that the flashback was a nice start to the story, it gives some sort of hmm...I don't know, it's just somehow comforting to know that he remembered his brother and everyone that he hurt before he did what he did.
I liked the interaction between the two brothers, it was fairly realistic though I somehow expected Regulus to try and throw a curse at Sirius, but he does love him so that probably explains the lack of a duel between them.
on with the next chapter...Author's Response: Thank you for coming by. :D
Yeah, Regulus isn't the type to throw curses all wildly and he certainly wouldn't at his brother. Though...well you'll see that later on if you stick around. Thank you so much again. --Jenna Report Review
oh. coitus. I love that word. Don't get me wrong, please, but if you've ever seen The Big Bang Theory, you'd know that it reminds me of Sheldon. And he's cool. The coolest guy in the history of TV series along with Mr. Spock and captain Picard ^^ oh oh and Data, how could I forget him?! Yeah, I'm a trekkie through and thorough :D
Anyhow - story. yeah. reviewing. Uhm, I think it's going on at a really nice pace, it's not too fast and not too slow. The whole Parker/James thing irks me a bit because to me, James is way cooler, but I'm a huge Jamesie fan. Not to say that Parker doesn't seem cool, he certainly does, but well, he's not James lol.
Devon is still pretty funny and all. She seems like a well rounded and thought out OC. Most certainly not two dimensional and not Mary Sueish. ;) Good job with that ^^Author's Response: BIG BANG THEORY! STAR TREK! You are officially my new favourite.
James is my favourite (well, other than you now). And so it's difficult to write another male character that readers will love. Because James is just such a stud. But it's good to know that even though he isn't living up to James, he's still likeable.
Once again, thanks for the compliments on Devon ^_^. You've completely made my day with all these reviews!! Report Review
Oh. A chess tournament - how exciting ^^ I hope Devon will manage to beat James. And not just him xD
Merlin, it's so funny to read how Devon and Lauren make fun of their roommates. And not just them, Scorpius too. I forgot to mention that earlier :)
The connection to the modern pop culture is cool, but since they're like in the 2020's, wouldn't Dr. Phil and Austin Powers be a bit old? Or they just like old classics xD Anyhow, it's not bad, bud maybe just something to think about ;)Author's Response: Yes, chess! So excited to write these parts!
Glad you like the Scorpius thing. I was terrified to write that in fear that everyone who is in love with Scorpius was going to chase me with battle axes. But good to know that it's humorous ^_^
Yes, I've had a comment about the pop culture thing before. I realized while I was writing that many of my favourite programs and films are from the 70's and 80's, and therefore they don't have to be up to speed with everything ;) Report Review
"Oh my God! I can't believe you have ankles!"
I lol-ed. Literally. ^^ The best line form the chapter, methinks xD
I really like Devon. She's just so...I don't know, sarcastically funny :D . idk, she reminds me of me, though that may or may not be a lame thing to say considering she's a character in a fanfiction story. But I have a habit of trying to find characters of similar personalities to mine in whatever I read ;)
Anyhow, I felt a bit confused about the whole thing with Taryn and James, like it didn't happen, but it did o.O I'm not so sure if I got that right...
Lauren is cool, too. Though I'd smack her in the head if she fed me a potion-gone-wrong ^^
Parker seems quite nice, too, though we haven't seen much of him yet, I suppose he'll make more of an appearance in later chapters ;)Author's Response: Haha I love that line too, not going to lie.
Glad to know you're liking Devon. As I said in my last reply, she's somewhat based off me! ;)
Yes, Taryn and James is supposed to be a confusing concept. We won't know for sure until later chapters!
Glad you like Lauren, she was originally based off my best mate, but once again, I decided to stray from that idea. Ah, Parker. Also based on a real life friend. I've never dated him in real life but boy is he smashingly fit.
Thanks for reviewing! I love your reviews! :D Report Review
Hello, I'm here with your requested review ;)
I've decided to leave a review on all of your chapters because I quite like the beginning so far ^^
Anyhow, can't say much about the plot, but, Devon.
She seems alright for now - a bit quirky, I quite like how she uses Yiddish at times and a major plus for her personality is that she's not moping around because of James.
Oh, and one more thing - I can totally relate to her with her Commitment Issues. I really do have a phobia of normal relationships and it's quite hard sometimes. My friends tried to help me but to no avail, I can't even enter a proper relationship, I freak out at the mere prospect. It's not really healthy, but I can't help myself :/
so far so good, I'm on to the next chapter ;)Author's Response: Thanks so much! You're so speedy!
I'm glad to hear Devon is a relatable character :) She's very quirky, yes. Actually, this story was originally written for a challenge where I was supposed to base the main OC off of myself, but I decided against it. It's way too difficult to not lie haha. But it's good to hear that you still find her interesting regardless. Report Review
Spontaneous Percy yipee! lol. Yeah. Right. Review.
Even though I'd have imagined Percy waiting for at least a date to kiss a girl, I quite liked this new spontaneity of his :), it might not be strictly canon of his personality but when you really like someone, even at first glance, you never know what you might do. And, he said it himself - it's not his usual behaviour so you're good with that.
We don't know much about Audrey yet, since it's from Percy's POV, so I can't tell much about her personality and characterisation but she seems cute and like someone who everybody could like, it's no wonder Percy likes her ;)
Thanks again for requesting a review from me, I they were helpful and encouraging enough :)Author's Response: Yes, well, it was high time Percy joined in the fun of random kissing, hahah. :)
No, it is most certainly not his normal behaviour, as he is rather fumbling about girls when not near Audrey, something I tried to show in future letters. But I want to show them as balancing for one another, even in the early stages of the relationship.
Thank you for your offer to review, and for responding quickly with lengthy comments! :)
Kate/RP Report Review
Hello, I'm here with your requested review :) Finally xD (I'm sorry it took me so long but I've been busy with life :o )
Anyhow, let me just say that I love Percy/Audrey but I haven't found that many of them here, especially stories that weren't one-shots so thanks for requesting a review from me :)
I generally like how you have started the story with a birthday party for Teddy - it's easier to introduce new characters and all. Audrey being Ginny's friend is quite alright, though I've never imagined Percy with someone much younger than him (if she's Ginny's longtime friend, I suppose they're close in age ^^) but years don't really matter when love is in question, in my opinion anyways.
Percy's characterisation is alright for now, though I wouldn't imagine him "desperately" wanting a relationship, judging from his rather cold behaviour through the books, though I suppose that after the Battle Of Hogwarts and Fred's death, he changed quite a bit and realised that some things, like love and family, were more important than others. So basically, you're good on track with Percy (and yeah, him saying "rear" instead of bum or sth else is totally Percy thing to say ^^)
on with the next chapter I suppose...Author's Response: Yes, this site (and others, I've found) are really lacking in Percy/Audrey, or Percy/Anyone, for that matter.
I never pictured Perce with anyone much younger either, but I thought if Ginny was to introduce him to a pretty girl who found him rather cute, why not? ;)
Thank you so much for the review!
--Kate/RP :) Report Review
I'm finally here with your requested review ^^
First of all, I must say that I can't stand U2 so I didn't recognize the song until I read your Author's Note. That being said, I didn't really get at first how the lyrics were connected to the story but later on I realized how it might have inspired you :)
I suppose it's not good to follow too closely on the lyrics, but just use them to inspire you and that's exactly what you did. So I think that you don't have to worry about getting of course ;)
Anyhow - the descriptions. You could have described the Menagerie and Eeylops more - the different animals in the Menagerie, the sounds etc etc and how many different owls there were in Eeylops' but the story was more about Rolf than anything else so it's not that big of a deal.
All in all, I quite liked this because I'm a fan of stories about less known canon characters and getting a fresh view on them :D, you did a good job with it.Author's Response: Haha, well I love U2, so there. :P And don't worry about recognizing the song, it's the last or second to last song on their newest album, not at all something most people would know.
Good to know that even someone who doesn't like U2 didn't mind the lyrics, or even the fact they didn't follow the story too closely. I was just wondering because some people despise songfics, and if I have on up I want to know it's worth it. As for the descriptions, it's fine that you thought I didn't have enough. I want to know, because then I can add more, or make them more original, or whatever. Probably both. Anyway, thanks for the review! I love minor characters as main characters too. Report Review
Here's my second review...
Again, I don't like Izzie, she just seems too.. I don't know what exactly :s
Anyways, Nellie can seem like a Mary Sue because of the fact that she's apparently extremely clumsy but she excels at Quidditch. :/ I don't think that my reviews are actually going to help since you already have 27 chapters up and all that you know...
Sirius is cool still, though you should have worked on James', Remus' and Peter's personalities a bit more. We didn't see them at all (except for a bit of James).
Feel free to re-request but I think that with 27 chapters up, my reviewing doesn't really have a point :/Author's Response: I understand your point. I don't think she quite excels. But your words have put some thoughts into my brain :)
Yeah, I understand, they feature later, but I guess right now, they look under developed.
I'd thought I'd request because I'm rewriting little bits here and there. And I wanted people to see what they thought about the characters at first glance.
Thank you so much for doing this for me :) Report Review
Hello, I'm here with the review you have requested (I'm only going to read first two chapters, if you want me to read all of it, you'll have to re-request ;) )
Anyways, you asked about the characters...
Nellie - I like her. She's a bit of an oddball, isn't she? Yeah, that's good, I just hope she won't became the fifth Marauder... :s I think it'd be better if she got a bit angrier with Izzie but that's probably because of my own personality xD
Izzie - I found her irritating, I mean, if she's her friend she should be a better friend then ^^. Not much else to say here other than that, we haven't seen much of her for now.
Sirius - he's a "standard" Sirius. Make him mischievous, funny, gorgeous and a womanizer - you won't make a mistake xD. I like it how he teases Nelliee :)Author's Response: Thank you for taking your time to do this for me, it means a lot.
Nellie will never become the 5th Marauder...I have big issues with that because I find it unrealistic. Izzie will always be her best friend. I totally understand, but it takes a lot to anger Izzie, and after seven years, I thought she would get just used to Izzie's personality.
Izzie is irritating, but I feel she kind of grows on you. She looks mean in this chapter but she has her moments.
Thank you, I'm glad you like how Sirius teases Nellie.
Thanks a lot! Report Review
Hello, I'm here with the review you requested :)
You said that you were worried about writing the time period. I see no reason for worry because I think you've captured the feeling of the period quite well. Just a quick question though - didn't the girls back in the past have to be a bit plumper and not thin? Because I think that up until 20th century girls weren't supposed to be thin and all that, but really, that's a minor thing xD.
Anyways, I found it peculiar that they ended up together the first time they saw each other. I mean, I can understand Edgar as it appears that he wasn't what I presumed him to be, but Winifred didn't seem as the type. Though, if her parents were strict as parents tended to be in that time period, I could understand the will to be a bit wild and all :)
What struck me as odd was Edgar's reaction when he had heard the news. I expected him to be surprised, sure, but I didn't expect to accuse her of sleeping with other men and all, but then I realised that we actually don't know much about him, almost nothing, so his reaction was probably supposed to tell us what kind of a person he actually was.
All in all, it was an interesting story and it was very well written ;), I'm glad that you requested a review for it :D .
~ DeaVanityAuthor's Response: Hi!
Thank you! I'm so glad you thought I did a good job with the time period. I'll admit that I didn't check my facts before starting this piece, but if that is true, that makes it even better =P If Winifred was too thin to be desirable, it makes her even more of an underdog, making her meeting with Edgar even more extraordinary. But you're probably right. XD
I just pictured a really spur-of-the-moment, passionate moment, you know? That's the only way I imagined it. No words beforehand. Just do it. Maybe that's vulgar but that was my inspiration. =)
Yes, we don't know much about him. And also, you said you weren't expecting him to accuse her of sleeping with other men, and that's what I was aiming for. =P I wanted to throw a twist in there, but I hope it made sense in the long run.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review =) Report Review
Oh wow, you wrote all those OCs fabulous :) and thank you so much for using Violetta - she was just in the back of my mind, lonely, unused ehh... But you wrote her great! :D
Aww, Al wants to make Score his friend...That's something I see him doing. Though, I'm wondering, what does the Triwizard Tournament have anything to do with the story so far? Ooooh, is Avery going to be Hogwarts' representative? That would be cool ^^ , but I suppose I'm going to find out! :D
~ DeaVanityAuthor's Response: Wow, thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you like the story, and how I wrote Violetta.
The Triwizard Tournament should be more relevant in a couple of chapters...I think. I basically put it in because I wasn't sure I had enough plot. : ( There's some stuff more relevant to Al that it causes.
Avery's not the Hogwarts Champion either. I figure the Champion can't be a Slytherin because obviously a Slyth winning the Tournament for Hogwarts would be good for their reputation, but it's not something Al can influence in any way.
Wow, this is a disappointing response. Sorry. Report Review
“Would anyone like to throw a rock at a tree?” - lol ^^
Poor Al, but I mean, if he doesn't want Rosie then it's alright I suppose... And when Lia talked about Voldy - that was awesome. Lot's of fun, this story is. ;D
I apologise because I don't have any CC for you but that's actually a good thing, right? :)
~ DeaVanityAuthor's Response: *wangs rocks at trees* I love Hogwarts. Only school in the world that encourages its students to attack the vegetation.
I think I can live with a lack of CC :)
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Dear Salazar, I love Al. And Avery. ^^ And the whole thing with Slytherin unity and how even the oldest student in Slytherin also takes care for the first years and all... :)
This is a really good story :D (10/10 again ^_^)
~ DeaVanityAuthor's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection